Author: Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Certification Blog on Grief Support Groups

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Support groups of any type can help an individual overcome many past traumas.  The collective sharing of trauma can help mutual members heal and learn from each other.  Individuals with any type of mental or emotional trauma sometimes find the social outlet of support groups to be beneficial.   These groups can be from basic human loss to more complicated issues as PTSD and other trauma.  Individuals seeking support group help should already be somewhat past the initial shock of loss.  In other cases, they should not be a danger to themselves or others. Support groups should be narrowed to their most basic needs to have the most maximum benefit. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification.

Support groups provide an excellent opportunity for the bereaved to be introduced to like wounded individuals.  It counters the isolation and shaming within society and opens a new door of acceptance and sharing.   Groups provide emotional, spiritual and physical support in a safe and trusting environment.  Furthermore, groups allow individuals to explore their feelings but also to help others.  If one is emotionally ready and able, support groups can be the final touch of healing to help a person adjust to the loss and continue in a healthy fashion on their grief journey.  You can learn more about organizing Grief Support Groups through AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification Program.

Bereavement support groups are an excellent vehicle to help others deal and cope better with grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The first step in facilitating a support group is to discover the group that one wants to reach.  Many independent programs are sometimes founded by an individual who shares a similar loss and wishes to not only help one’s own self but others.  Some families of school shootings, will start groups in memory of a lost loved one as a way of continuing one’s name.  Other established societies or institutions will create groups and assign trained professionals to guide the groups.

Groups can be led by one person but it is really important to have a reliable co leader who shares similar values and understands the importance of the maintaining group structure.  In addition to leadership, most groups are held within the organization premises, but independent groups may meet in public places such as churches, schools or libraries.  It is important to find a spot that is quiet enough to allow privacy and a sense of the sacred.  Lighting and sometimes music can be employed.  An area that has the necessary academic tools is also important.  White boards and other educational tools should be part of any group’s resources to explore issues of grief.

The group should be no more than 12 as to avoid overwhelming the leader and not permitting enough time to help each individual.  It is also important to pre-screen potential group members to discover if they are ready for group support.  Some members may be reluctant to join and are being forced, while others may not be ready to join a social group to discuss loss.  Still others may require personal counseling due to deeper trauma that a group cannot help heal properly.

Within the group it is also critical to establish rules to each member.  Meetings should be close ended with a start and end time and regular weekly or monthly cycle of meetings.  In addition if utilizing online meetings to supplement or replace physical meetings, it is important to keep the same structure of start and close and maintain routine.  Issues of privacy may arise and it is important upon utilizing various online resources that individuals partake knowing the critical element of privacy and be in a closed off room from the noise of their respective homes.

Other ground rules should include the importance of confidentiality.  What is said within the group cannot be shared with others outside the group.  It is critical to build this sense of community and trust.  It is important to share one’s grief account, but it is also important that other people may resist.  It is critical not to force others to share until they are ready.  Likewise, for those who choose to share, it is important to set up time designations for each to talk to prevent the more out going from monopolizing the time.  While it is good to help others, it is also important for group members to understand that advice is only to be given unless requested by another member.  In addition, interruptions must be avoided and forewarned as unacceptable behavior.

It is to be understood within the group that grief is unique to each.  It is important to understand that grief is part of life and not a disease.  Finally it is important to emphasize that there is no true recovery in grief but it is an ongoing process.  Communication and sharing grief is a life time commitment.

Most grief support groups are close ended, education based and open discussion. These three elements are key to their functioning.  The educational element is key in teaching the individuals about the science of grief and how grief works in the body but the open discussion allows for the more subjective element to emerge.  Most grief groups have texts, materials, and home work assignments, especially journals.  Individuals are encouraged to write and share, as well as bring pictures, and other key objects of the loved one on certain days to share.  Evaluations are also utilized on the final day.

Individuals who are looking to promote a grief support group who do not have an institution’s support, can find multiple ways to advertise their group.  Word of mouth, online chat, facebook pages, posters and flyers, email lists of professional leaders, local free media and direct communication with professionals within the field can help individuals discover your group.

So far, we have discussed the basics of the group itself, but leadership will determine the success of the group.  The leaders ability to be a companion in grief but also an educator in the field.  Education, experience, and commitment to helping the bereaved is key for ultimate success.  Excellent programs do not bloom over night but are the product of meticulous planning.  Every meeting should be flexible but have a plan and topic.

First, the leader must possess some basic qualities.  Without these qualities, even the best presented material will come across as uncaring and superficial.

A leader must possess empathy.  The ability to perceive another’s experience and communicate it back.  It allows the person to feel the other in an emotional sense and allow one to truly understand the feelings of another.  A leader must also possess respect. Everyone in the group must be respected as special and unique and have inherent value.  Finally, a leader needs to present himself or herself as genuine.  They must be sincere in their teaching, listening and companioning.

Communication skills are key in this respect.  Certain counselors and teachers learn various nuances of the trade through time and practice, but the skills of being a good listener can be learned over time.  The ability to enter into communication and value the person is the first key.  Listening can take the form in many ways.  Attention and attending to each person one at time is the first key.  In this paraphrasing can be a key skill to help others.  This not only ensures one correctly hears, but also ensures the other person hears what they are saying.  Clarification of issues is also key to clear up any confusing issues.  Furthermore perception checking can be a key tool in addressing the individual and allows them to reflect and respond.  Sometimes, leaders will needmake observations regarding an individual, and other times, a leader may need to provide some type of acknowledgement.  From a group setting, a leader must also help others focus on topics, provide necessary information and help others stay on course.  When problems occur, it is always best to deal with at the end of the meeting.  Any leader will face various issues in a meeting ranging from the nature of sadness itself or problem members.  Learning how to cope through these issues is a key development in any leader.  There are a variety of skills that make a support group leader a good leader and learning more about communication and ways to help others be heard and open, are key to support groups.

Grief Support Group Leaders need to have various skills and values to succeed. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Any group goes through phases of growth.  A good leader will be able to identify the growth.  The first phase is the warm up phase.  In this phase, the group is feeling each other out.  Individuals are trying to see if others think like themselves. Other personalities are emerging and whether to trust remains a question.  It is important in these early meetings to give time for individuals to get to know each other and share small stories.  These boundaries are further explored in the second phase and following meetings.  Individuals tentatively begin to test the water and explore boundaries within the group.  They should also begin to start seeing themselves as part of a group.

As the group develops and becomes closer, there is a deeper exploration phase.  The work of grief begins to take shape.  Instead of why, individuals are helping each other work through the grief. Following this phase, is the most important phase of a commitment to continued growth and healing.    Others will take active interest if another member is absent in this phase.  The final phase is preparation for ending the group.  For some, this can be a loss in itself but it must become something of accomplishment.  Others within this phase can share information, numbers and continue to form friendships beyond the group itself.

In any social event, there is a social psychology that is played out.  Within a group of any type, these things will be played out.  It is important for the leader to respect uniqueness of individuals but also guide the overall theme of the group to work through grief.  A successful leader understands the nature of grief but also possesses the qualities to help others through grief.  The group can become a great healing device is properly led.  Preparation and commitment are the keys.

 

If you would like to learn more about AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification, then please review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

Source: The Understanding Your Grief Support Group Guide: Starting and Leading  Bereavement Support Group by Alan D Wolfelt, PhD

Additional Resources:

 

The 10 Best Online Grief Support Groups in 2022 By Simay Gokbayrak

The 9 Best Online Grief Support Groups in 2022 By Danielle Wade

Grief Support Groups: Positives and Pitfalls from “What’s Your Grief”

 

Stress Management Consulting Video on PTSD Part 2

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is caused by a severe trauma that continues to haunt and trigger the past emotion as present.  It is unfragmented elements of a moment so bad that it is not fully processed into long term memory.  Therapy helps properly process this material to long term memory so it can be properly understand by the person as the past.  One still lives with the scars of the past but are able to in a healthy way process and understand it.

Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Stress Management Training

Christian Counseling Certification Blog on Theistic Evolution

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christianity and evolution seem like two words that should be forever at odds.  Initially, maybe rightfully so, since evolution was atheistically supported and militant against Christianity and faith itself.  The empirical process with its many benefits to life brought with it a disdain for the spiritual.  This initial distrust of faith and religion, hence made evolution and Christianity natural enemies.  Evolution as a tool of  the atheist to explain the origin of the world without God became a powerful theory against religion.  Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification

How did creation come about? Is Theistic Evolution acceptable to the Christian faith or must everyone adhere to literal interpretations of Genesis?

 

Yet, truth is truth, whether discovered through atheistic eyes or devout eyes.   As time proceeded, science showed the earth was very old.  Carbon dating illustrated a far more ancient world than previously thought.   The study of the cosmos showed how far stars are and how long light takes to reach a certain point, again showing a greater age to creation itself.   As biology advanced, adaptation and how organisms change over time, especially with virus and bacteria opened new ideas how larger organisms could also change over time.  Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Courses

The idea of adaptation, older earth and an older cosmos seemed to challenge Scripture and old prejudices of the origin of evolution persisted in church circles.  Furthermore, misunderstandings regarding evolution itself, as well as how Scripture is to be interpreted continued to cause a divide.  Eventually, many mainstream Christian denominations became more open to evolution as a theistic mechanism void of its discoverer’s atheistic views years prior.

The only discord that exists to this day regarding Christian teaching and evolution is in fundamentalist circles who still suspect atheism within the theory.  These individuals many times also do not understand the deeper science of evolution.  In addition, fundamentalists tend to only interpret scripture to their own literal interpretations.

In this short essay, we will discuss the nature of theistic evolution and the dangers of always seeing scripture from a literal interpretation.  Obviously, science is not at odds with faith, for both reason and truth both point to God.  It is hence important that rationale beings who utilize faith, also understand the science of evolution from a theistic standpoint before dismissing it merely as an atheistic fairytale.

As Christians, we first and foremost stand against the concept of atheistic evolution.  Atheistic evolution proposes the ridiculous idea that life happened by chance or the ridiculous notion that nothing became something.  Obviously, those familiar with St Thomas Aquinas understand that every effect has a cause.  The first cause, the uncaused cause, which infinite within itself and not forever regressing, is God.  If God is a entity, a force, or whichever, does not matter, but the author of the universe must be acknowledged.  This is the basis for theistic evolution.   God caused the big bang, His infinite love for life, planted the seed necessary to create life in that moment of for the universe.  The design was laid out among the chaos.  Ironically, even Genesis points out to the darkness and disorder.

An idea of theistic evolution and God does coexist with the idea of theistic evolution.  In now way is it not plausible that God could create this way.  What matters from Scripture, is acknowledgement that God created life and the cosmos.  The story in Genesis if taken literal can lead down a path of many concepts that do not correlate with science.  However, if properly understood and interpreted, Genesis is not at odds with theistic evolution.

Genesis is not necessarily a historic narrative like modern history books.  It teaches a historic moment or series of historic moments.  It proclaims creation and most importantly the creation of humanity.  It speaks of how humanity fell and needed a Redeemer.  These are all facts, but it does so in analogical fashion.   I avoid the word myth here because Modernism looks to reduce Genesis to a myth.  Analogy is far different.  Symbolism is far different.   It still respects the history of Adam and Eve as true human beings, but how the story is told and how it illustrates a truth about them.  It is not accounted like a modern journal but through a deeper language that was handed down.  It does not dismiss the event as non historical like myth which only looks for a deeper meaning, but retains the historical reality of the event but in described differently.

When Scripture is interpreted only literally in every sense, then many contradictions can occur with science.  The books of the Bible while only pertaining to one author, the Holy Spirit, nevertheless are written by different people.  Within this school of talents, are also different ways of telling stories.  Some stories are historical, some are psalms, some are laws, some are prophecy, and others are lessons.   We must be clear to understand the form of the book within the Bible being read to understand its meaning, intent, style and audience of the time.

From this, one can see how literal interpretation of Genesis can create an unneeded confrontation with Theistic Evolution.  However, when one discovers Genesis teaches creation, but leaves out the science, one can then learn to incorporate both together.  “Humani Generis” by Pope Pius XII in the 1950s, helped lay a bridge between theistic evolution and Genesis.  While he stated at the time, one can choose to follow theistic evolution or pure creationism, he pointed out that Christians could adhere to theistic evolution in good conscience.   He however, warned against modernism which would look refer to Adam as mythical, or Adam as a tribe, or that the soul of Adam evolved from matter.

The other larger issue in fundamentalist camps is a misunderstanding of evolution.  Evolution is not something that happens over night.  The fossil record has confidently portrayed a world where adaptations occur within creatures.   Adaptation is merely extreme genes that do best in a certain environment that are passed down to future generations.  Individuals without these particular genes designed for better survival pass away.  Hence, the gene that is best adaptive to a given environment continues to develop and be handed down.  This leads to gradual change over time.  While it is impossible to see massive change in human years, we see these changes in the fossil record, and we also see them in microbiology where generations upon generations can mutate and adapt within years instead of millions of years.

So, this does not mean something magically changes and becomes something new, but it is a natural change within a species due to time and environmental changes that forces certain genetic qualities to pass away and new ones arise in others.  It is God’s long term design to allow a species to propagate and survive.

Another huge misconception in evolution is that humanity evolved from apes and monkeys.   The truth is that both apes and monkeys share similarities to human beings and are closely related from a physical standpoint, but they are not humanity’s ancestors but merely a sharer of a common ancestor.  These lines break off into what are today monkeys and apes and humanoids.

One may then naturally ask, since Genesis, although not literal, being historical speaks of only 2 human beings.  Science actually shows that humanity genetic pool goes back to a pair but the idea that humanity evolved through a series of tribes on a global scale is incompatible.  Many atheistic evolutionists contend this to be true, but Christians who believe in Adam and Eve, contend that Adam and Eve were the first conscious human beings to be endowed with a human soul in the image of God.  Other cousins of humanity may have possessed human qualities and great intelligence, but without God’s blessing, no one could possess what Adam and Eve possessed.

Adam as a special creation was granted a reprieve from this world of suffering.  He was granted an unfallen status.  Whether this paradise was a place or a state of being, he existed without suffering until he betrayed God through his choice to follow the will of himself and Satan.  Upon this, he was again thrust into the world that science has shown us to be temporal reality.

Did Adam and Eve’s children cohabitate with other humanoids of the time?  This is very possible and may apply to the verse in Scripture referring to the children of God sleeping with the children of man.  This was seen as something wrong, but it would pass upon these lesser humanoids, the gift of Adam, a human soul. Nevertheless, we know that the great Flood would forever change global geography and also the history of humanity.

The cosmos dictates a much older existence of the universe. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification

 

How about dinosaurs?  Again, the temporal age and Adam’s special status in Eden show a historical separation in the fossil record but this does not mean that in the time frame of creation, dinosaurs and other creatures did not exist prior to Adam.  Genesis states Adam and humanity were created last.  Hence a series of animals could have existed well prior to Adam.  Either due to extinction or they evolved, they would not all exist at the same time humanity existed.  Many fundamentalists try to state dinosaurs existed side by side with humanity.  While other odd creatures may have existed during the writing of Scripture, as the fossil record indicates, the idea of classical dinosaurs existed side by side with humanity is far fetched.

So, yes, with evolution and with scripture, come many subjects of reflection.  Some aspects are issues due to stubborn literal interpretation of Genesis, but other things must be clearly reflected upon with a biblical understanding and not merely a scientific mind that pretends Genesis does not exist.

This is not to dismiss those who choose to hold on a more literal meaning and creationist account.  This is one’s own choice.  One needs to be aware of the issues this creates from a philosophical and scientific standpoint.   It does not damage one’s faith but it can lead to one demonizing others who hold to an equally valuable ideal about creation that does not distort Scripture.  There needs to be mutual respect on any disagreements concerning this issue among Christians.  Ultimately, in the end, all of these secrets will be revealed to humanity by Christ.

With so much reliable information about the age of the cosmos, earth and the fossil record, I find it very convincing that evolution was the vehicle that God utilized to bring about life.  If one returns to the Bible and Genesis and looks for clues, one can begin to find that the two can co-exist if understood analogically.

Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Christian Counselor.

 

Additional Resouces

Theistic Evolution in Wikipedia

“What Is Theistic Evolution?” by Stephen Meyer

Charles Darwin in Biography

Humani Generis by Pope Pius XII

 

Anger Management Consulting Program Blog on Parents and Anger

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Parents are only human and become angry with their children.  Moms can lose their cool and yell and displace anger towards their kids.  These are not uncommon occurrences, so how can moms remain calm and set good examples even on the most frustrating day? Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program

How can parents better control their anger with their kids? Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management Consulting.

Grief Counseling Certification Blog on Life After Divorce

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Life after a divorce can be very difficult.  Not only is the heart grieving the loss of a loved one but also the loss of a marriage. With the loss of a marriage comes a myriad of secondary losses and secondary headaches that can lead to immense grief and intense anger.  Understanding divorce and how to better cope can be an important part in rebuilding one’s life.  Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

Divorce is a loss that has additional secondary losses. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The article, “Life After Divorce: How You Can Start Again” from Cleveland Clinic’s Healthessentials looks closer on how one can slowly start to rebuild after divorce.  The article states,

“Whether it’s rife with conflict or not, divorce is rarely easy. When you’re ending a marriage, you may struggle to move on with your life. But you can successfully work through the emotions and start a new life after divorce, says clinical social worker specialist Karen Tucker, LISW-S, ACSW.  “You may feel rejected, angry, profoundly hurt or out of control. It’s also possible that you’ll feel relieved and hopeful,” Tucker says. “It’s important to pay attention to your emotions and to get help when you need it.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification, as well as AIHCP’s Anger Management Program and see if they meet your academic and professional goals.  The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking these types of certifications.

Meditation Instructor Program Blog on Meditation and Sleep

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Meditation can help someone find relaxation before sleep.  Sleep meditation is a great tool to try to help someone who has insomnia or sleep issues.  Meditation naturally relaxes and while many utilize meditation to stay in a awake state but relaxed, certain types of meditation can also be utilized for sleep purposes.  Please also review AIHCP’s Meditation Instructor Program

Meditation can help one find better sleep. Please also review AIHCP’s Meditation Instructor Program

 

The article, “How To Add Sleep Meditation to Your Bedtime Routine” by Audrey Noble looks how Meditation Apps can help someone find better sleep.  She states,

“When dealing with insomnia in general, Dr. Conroy says that one strategy is to set aside a winddown time one hour before bed. During this one hour, she says you can decide to meditate. This can include guided meditations found through an app or YouTube. ”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Meditation Instructor Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals  The program is online and independent study and is open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Meditation Instructor.

Grief Counseling Certification Blog on Depression and Diagnosis/Treatment Obstacles

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Individuals with Major Depressive Disorder have more to deal with other issues than just the symptoms.  There are numerous steps and follow ups and other administrative issues to deal with even before they can receive treatment itself.  It can take a little time before everything is set up and a plan of action is ready to be utilized.  Numerous obstacles can make it difficult for some to even get a proper diagnosis and treatment.  This is unfortunate situation for many suffering with depression.  Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

Administrative and insurance issues can cause lack of treatment for many suffering from depression. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The article, “Top 8 Issues in Major Depressive Disorder” by Sidney Zisook takes a closer look at issues regarding diagnosis and the process of dealing with depression from a professional standpoint.  She states,

 

 

“In summary, while there has been an explosion of knowledge in the neuroscientific basis of mental disorders, genomics, neuroimaging and neuropsychology, there remains considerable room for growth in the way we provide equitable access to evidence-based treatments; define and diagnose MDD; create evidence-informed first- and next-step, personalized treatment decisions; conceptualize TRD and consider replacing or supplementing it with DTD; develop novel interventions that provide options for better tolerated, more effective, more sustainable treatments; and more effectively train future clinicians to competently employ a broader spectrum of evidence-based treatments than the current norm; and shift the culture of medicine to one that prioritizes optimizing our own wellness and mental health.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling

Grief Counseling Program Blog on Trauma and Restoring Intimacy

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Sexuality and intimacy are crucial aspects of human life.  It allows two to bond and share the deepest feelings with a wholesome sexual experience.  An experience that is pure and filled with love as opposed as corrupt and full of hate.  During trauma, individuals can lose intimacy and a healthy understanding of love and sex.  This can create obstacles to fully reacclimating into society because one is not able to form a new bond or attachment with another human being.  The act of intimacy and the act of sex in themselves can also become triggers and reminders of past abuse and push the person away from these normal and healthy bonds.  Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program

One who has experienced trauma must eventually face intimacy, trust and friendship and if desired, a more deeper friendship in the contract of a sexual relationship.  Unfortunately, trauma makes this difficult and can prevent the person from an important fountain of healing that can bring the person closer to becoming one again.  In this article, we will look at a few issues of intimacy and sexuality that someone who has faced trauma will deal with and how that someone can learn to trust and love again.  Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Courses

In intimacy, one opens oneself to another.  This can mean many things to a survivor of sexual trauma or betrayal.  One feels the loss of a control.  In isolation, one feels one has the power to control what occurs and the fear of opening oneself, puts oneself partly at the power of another.  It is exactly this power that a trauma survivor fears.  In addition, trauma survivors fear abandonment.  If one opens up, then one risks the chance of being hurt and betrayed again.  Hence many experience abandonment issues.   Intimacy also opens up the chance of rejection.  Trauma survivors fear the thought of being rejected for who they are and may very well reject someone before they can be rejected.

It is important with intimacy to accept fears.  This is the hardest part, but only until one dismisses the fears, can one again learn to have a trusting relationship.   The fear may be in the other person, or in one’s own tendencies but one cannot have the healing powers of intimacy without trust and letting fears go.  One also needs to reject ideas and notions that can block intimacy with others.  Many who have been traumatized universally label everyone.  All men/women are bad is a common over generalization.  The perpetrator was not good but not all people are bad.  This central concept can take time to finally become a reality again. Other false narratives include assuming no one has every experienced what one has experienced, or that one cannot ever burden another with one’s issues.  In addition, others feel unloved and if anyone ever knew what occurred, then that person would no longer be lovable.  Flaws are seen as more prominent and as a sign of weakness, when in reality everyone has flaws.

It can be difficult after trauma to again show intimacy and open oneself up. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program

 

Learning how to discuss the past and discuss the future are critical communication skills.  Individuals who fear intimacy need to be better able to express to another and share how to handle issues and conflicts.  Without releasing the fear, false notions and opening up communication, then a person suffering from trauma will not be able to open again and find the value and healing within a friendship or a deeper relationship.

One of the biggest blocks to a deeper relationship is again seeing sexuality as wholesome and natural.  Sex in its very nature promotes union, trust, and love but the trauma has distorted the true value of intimacy and sexuality.  Following an assault, sex itself can become a trigger to a PSTD response.  A certain touch can remind one of the trauma and turn something of love into something of abuse.  The person has a hard time viewing sex as holy and the person as sacred.  The rape or assault has stripped sexuality and intimacy of its dignity and the person has difficult times again experiencing these feelings and senses in a positive way.

Sex can also be seen as a way to control others, or it may be a device to fix what went wrong before.  Unhealthy expressions and sexual behavior can result in different directions from fear of sex to promiscuity later in life.  It is hence important to remove these past negative images.  One image that is especially unhealthy is seeing all sexual behavior and correlating it with a sense of disgust.  It is important to learn skills to neutralize this feeling of disgust and help re-evaluate these past negative experiences with positive experiences.

In rebuilding oneself for intimacy and sexual relations, the traumatized need to overcome many hurdles of trust and intimacy but certain steps can help to start the healing process.  Disgust and association with trauma can be overcame with patience and time and understanding from one’s new partner.

It is hence important to again see certain parts of the body as holy and good.  They cannot be seen or associated as evil in themselves.  The action must be separated from the part of the body itself.  Second, one needs to learn neutralize disgust.  Ideas that the body is an object to be used must be dismissed and replaced with ideals that the body is a temple and a gift.  This not only deals with the other person, but also how one views oneself.  One can further separate the feeling of disgust with sex itself and shame.   The shame with trauma needs to be separated from the act itself.  By learning to separate negative feelings and events from the body and act itself, one can better open up to others.  One can then create a new narrative where the event with a different person is not hateful or abusive but instead filled with love and respect.

Unfortunately, while rebuilding each other, partners should be conscious of others past.  Certain boundaries may initially needed and a slow crawl until mutual comfort is met.  Flashbacks can occur and it is important to recreate intimacy and the sexual experience together to form new wholesome memories.  This requires patience, counseling as well as awareness.

Healthy sexuality is the ultimate key.  While intimacy does not necessarily involve sexuality, nor the necessity of entering into a sexual relationship, one must still restore a sense of the sacred to the sexual act.  Sex is not about control, secretive, shameful, wrong, abusive, dis-connective, controlling, superficial, or selfish but instead is a spiritual, emotional and physical act that binds.  It builds self esteem and gives proper pleasures associated with that.  It is celebrated and gives deeper meaning to life.  It does not abuse, but promotes a feeling of unity and safety.  It honors and loves and builds two instead of breaking down another. Finally, it does not reject, but it also accepts the imperfect and celebrates the two.

For some, sex is more than naturally just beautiful but also sacred from a religious view.  Sex in this regard binds two as one before God and calls forward a vocation that goes beyond the symbolic act of sex, but carries itself in all matters of life itself.  Spiritually, the destruction of sex to anything less is not of God and is a misuse of this divine gift to not only bring forth new life but also unify two into one.

Restoring intimacy with a victim of abuse can take time and patience but it can again reveal the goodness of intimacy and love

 

One can restore intimacy, and if desired, a healthy sexuality after assault, but naturally, the traumatized must learn to reprogram one’s mind to not only not fear but to open up and let go past narratives that prevent the leap of love and faith.  The traumatized must also learn differentiate the corruption of the perpetrator from the holiness and goodness of the action itself and how it can be experienced with a good person.

It is a most disgusting sin to harm another through sex because it injures the person not only physically but also emotionally.  It affects one’s ability to feel intimacy again and feel trust.  It is more than a theft of virginity or physical freedom, but is a theft of self, but fortunately, through healing, counseling and prayer, one can again heal.

Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Certification, Stress Management Consulting Program as well as AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification Program.  The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in these disciplines.

 

 

Source: “The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery and Growth” by Glenn R Schiraldi, PhD

PTSD from the Mayo Clinic

PTSD from the National Institute of Mental Health

When PTSD and Intimacy Collide: What Really Happens? By Tia Hollowood

Understanding Intimacy Avoidance in PTSD by Annie Tanasugarn Ph.D., CCTSA

Anger Management Certification Blog on Regulation of Anger

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Children without restraints become wild adults.  It is especially true to help teach children to regulate and control their anger and rage.  They need to learn to realize their emotions have consequences and when living in a society, it is important to act a certain way.  Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification

Learning to regulate anger at a early age is critical. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification

 

The article, “Anger Management for Kids: Teaching Emotional Regulation” by Nathan Greene looks into the importance and how to teach children to regulate their emotions.  He states,

“When your child has a temper tantrum — whether at home or in public — it can be startling and disorienting to witness the amount of anger or rage coming from one tiny human. And when those tantrums start happening repeatedly, it can be concerning. You wouldn’t be alone in wondering what’s causing those outbursts, whether you’re reacting to them correctly, or if there is something else you could do to help your child. Anger management techniques, when age-appropriate — which focus on emotional regulation — may help.”

If you wish to read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional programs.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.

Clinical Hypnotherapy Program Article on Science of Hypnosis

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Hypnosis is a powerful alternative tool to healing.  Many do not understand its inner workings and have many misconceptions what true hypnotherapy looks like.  It is important to have a proper understanding of hypnosis and can how it can be utilized to help heal people.  Please also review AIHCP’s Clinical Hypnotherapy Program

There is a true science behind clinical hypnosis. Please also review AIHCP’s Clinical Hypnosis Program

 

The article, “How Hypnosis Works, According to Science” by Eleanor Cummins reviews the inner workings of hypnosis and how it can work.  She states,

“When you think about hypnosis, what do you visualize? For many, it’s a clock-swinging magician or a comedy act that forces an unwitting volunteer to make embarrassing public admissions on stage.  But hypnosis has a surprisingly robust scientific framework. Clinical research has shown that it can help relieve pain and anxiety and aid smoking cessation, weight loss, and sleep.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Clinical Hypnotherapy Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Hypnotherapy.