The primary and first declaration within Christian Counseling the central nature of Christ as healer. Christ is the ultimate counselor and the source of all healing. The Christian Counselor presents the Christian worldview, its morals, its ideals on grace, and salvation to the person with the person knowing in advance that this the primary premise and foundation. Concepts such as sin as a source of struggle, suffering and death are recognized, as well as Christ’s central importance in healing and transformation.
Christ is the source of all knowledge and is the basis of all Christian Counseling
The extent to which this theology permeates the counseling depends upon integration of secular and modern psychological methods. Strict Biblical Counseling and Christian Psychologies will delve more deeper into Christian tradition and be less receptive to purely secular therapies, while an integrated approach, while still maintaining a Scriptural foundation will understand the limits of certain sciences. Integrated approaches will not deny that God is the source of all truth of every science but will recognize that certain limitations exist within religious texts and that the truths of God in other sciences are displayed under different approaches. It is because of this that Christian Counseling that employs an Integrated Approach is able to utilize multi-faceted approaches to help healing in a person. It recognizes the spiritual authority of Scripture, its moral guidance, and foundational teachings in helping others heal, but also understands its purpose in not treating mental pathology, which permits the integrated approach to use other ways to treat individuals. While sin is the cause of all suffering, not every individual sin causes every pathology. Sometimes, the person requires a spiritual healing but in many cases the person may just require a mental healing.
Within this premise, Integrated Christian Counseling is able to utilize modern psychology and counseling while remaining faithful to Christian idealogy and teachings. Christian Counseling, especially when under the dual guidance of a Christian and a licensed professional, as opposed to merely a pastoral level, has the ability to further treat deeper pathologies dealing with trauma and loss. It also has the ability to incorporate with those modules the concepts of Christian Grief and the purpose of suffering in the world.
It is within Christian Counseling that one can incorporate Christianity’s unique stance on suffering. Christianity does not offer to the suffering person a non answer. It does tell a person to suffer alone, or that God is merely watching from a distance. Instead Christianity offers an explanation why suffering exists but also grants comfort to the bereaved that God does not merely watch from a far away throne, but instead sent His own Son, Jesus Christ, to suffer with us. Christ, the Suffering Servant, becomes the ultimate example for the suffering. He teaches humanity how to suffer and offers the ultimate example of how to offer one’s cross. Yet, Christ is not defeated by suffering or death, but defeats and conquers it. The ultimate promise of Christianity is that who die with Christ will rise with Christ. This is a powerful philosophy and theology that is offered in Christian based counseling.
In addition to this foundational philosophy and theology, integrated Christian Counseling can utilize and use the numerous therapies afforded by modern psychology and counseling. Again, though, why limit oneself to one school of thought? Implementing and integrating different therapies can also be beneficial for some. Again, this is not saying this would benefit everyone. In some cases, strictly adhering to CBT may be the best call to action and may be the therapy the counselor or practitioner is best trained in. If this is the case, then if the patient is showing progress, then various integrations would not be needed.
First, it is important to note, when helping anyone in loss, trauma or suffering, that not all therapies fit all. Some may benefit from one, while others may benefit from a mixture. In my opinion, since human beings are so multi-faceted, sometimes a multiple approach of modules can be the most productive based upon the person’s reaction. For instance, when looking at the three primary therapies of Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral and Humanistic, one may find samples from each to help a particular individual find healing. A blended and truly integrated practice may be beneficial as opposed to maybe a singular approach.
In Psychodynamic, a counselor may look to help someone by exploring the past and come to conclusion why certain feelings are manifesting in the present that stem from the past. Past trauma does play a key in the present moment and for some, understanding why a certain feeling is manifesting may be enough to identify it and control it. Others though may need more direction and guidance beyond discovering the why and require cognitive understanding and reshaping. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help the person dismiss damaging feelings and restructure them into more productive feelings going forward. Furthermore, while some may benefit cognitively, others may be benefit from a more emotional discussion from various Humanistic approaches that dissect the feelings of now and help the person again find balance with self image and real image. This balance concurs with healthy out look on life.
In particular when dealing with someone, obviously a scriptural based prayer that reflects the issue at hand is key. This invites the Holy Spirit into any session and emphasizes the central focus of Christ in the room for healing. In any sessions, narrative therapies can provide very useful in describing and discussing the loss/stressor/ trauma. Discussions can lead to awakening and new ideals about it and help the person heal from the loss. Journaling, as a aspect of CBT, can play a big role in adaptive coping as well as a strong tool in grief work. In some cases, Humanistic approaches that include self talk and the empty chair can help individuals express the emotion of now and learn how to later handle given situations. Ultimately, the tools present are used to help the person adjust to the loss or trauma in a healthy way and connect the past with the present and future in a productive way. Counseling modules and various strategies such as those listed when integrated with prayer and healing can prove very beneficial in restoring meaning in life.
Personally, I find human beings to complicated and loss to diverse for one fit all solution. Whether Christian Counseling approaches or counseling models, many individuals need a variety of proven methods to help that particular person again find meaning. A healthy person according to Aaron Antonovsky achieves coherence when they are able to predict why things happen, have some ability to cope with those things and have a deeper meaning of the why and purpose of life. A strong integrated Christian Counseling philosophy with modern psychology that is never tied completely to one school of thought but tied to proven methods within each school that work for particular individuals gives the counselor a strong foundation that has a good base in Christ and science but also a flexible response to pathology of a person.
Integration of technique and models can give the patient a flexible treatment that can fit one’s individual needs. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Program
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification. The Christian Counseling Program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Christian Counselor. The program itself is non-denominational but shares within many of the great Christian traditions. It is open to non-clinical as well as clinical practitioners. The program offers the base model for pastors or counselors to incorporate their own style of Christian Counseling and methods to better help individuals.
Additional Resources
“Integrative Therapy”. Psychology Today. Access here
“Therapy Types and Modalities”. Psychology Today. Access here
Collinsworth-Cobarruvias, S. (2018). “Biblical Foundation for Christian Integration: A Theology of Christian Counseling”. Access here
Zarbo, C. et, al. (2015). “Integrative Psychotherapy Works”. Front Psychol. 2015; 6: 2021. National Library of Medicine. Access here
Grief is a life long process. Individuals deal with grief or loss to some extent on a consistent basis throughout life. The more significant losses remain with individuals and the ability of the individual to process the loss, understand it, incorporate it and exist with it are key to normal grieving styles. Those in the field of grief counseling on both the non clinical and clinical side need to sharpen their talents in helping individuals process the loss in a healthy way and be able to find continuing meaning in life. This involves not only understanding the various therapies on the more broad spectrum of treatment but how to micro handle daily sessions with individuals with minor positive interventions. Hence while one may employ CBT as the broad approach to help one heal, the daily encounters and how these encounters occur, allow the overall therapy to take root finds its productivity in certain skills and abilities. Some of these skills deal with how the grief counselor reframes thoughts, repeats words, shows empathy, or other verbal strategies to help emphasize certain parts of treatment, but positive interventions during treatment involve notation of certain parts of the journey within the inner dynamics of whatever treatment. As the person tells their grief story, finds self, relationship, memories and continuity within the grief story of one’s life, the counselor plays a key role in highlighting these points.
Grief Counselors can help individuals find meaning in loss through various strategies and interventions throughout the process.
Junietta Baker McCall’s text “Bereavement Counseling: Pastoral Care for Complicated Grieving” lists a variety of positive strategies and helpful interventions in chapter 7. She discusses how the therapists or grief counselors can help guide the person in the person’s grief story, sense of self and relationship, and the building of memories and continued continuity in healing through various prompts and interventions during sessions. These insights go far deeper than a general discussion of a therapy, or utilization of counselor skills, but look at certain points in therapy at a much more micro level where the grief counselor can better help the person through a particular session and goal. She states that specific strategies and interventions can be “used to respond to grief … and suggest possible ways to engage the grieving individual (McCall, J. 2012, p. 223).
Strategies in Narrative Therapy
Grief Narrative is a therapy within all overall models of CBT, Psycho Dynamic or Humanistic approaches. It is the re-telling of the person’s loss and trauma. It is where everything begins in the healing process. It permits the person to vocalize the inner feelings and share the loss. It permits communication and healing and allows for reframing and eventual change in understanding the place of the loss within the person’s life. Obviously for it to be successful, depends not only the story being told but how the grief counselor is able to guide the individual.
Counselors should utilize the story as a way to develop a caring model relationship that enables them to understand their client. The story needs to be encouraged to be told no matter the sadness and shared. In doing so, the grief counselor should grant the person space and time to comfortably tell the story. The grief counselor should repeat words that need repeated for the person to hear his/her own words echo, as well as show empathy and interest in the telling of the events. In this way, the grief counselor shows engagement and can later model future healthy grieving models (McCall, J. 2012, P. 225).
Throughout the story, it is important for the grief counselor to accept the therapeutic nature of the grief story. What matters most is the here and now of the story, not what others think. At this moment, the important part of healing is the subjective truth of the story to the person. How does the person feel at this moment in the here and now (McCall, J. 2012, p. 226). Remain empathetic throughout the story and remain an advocate for the person as the story continues and upon completion of the story within the session, ask the person if the story has been told to the person’s satisfaction. Upon completion of the story, share observations, address emotions and remain honest in assessments with possible referrals or information to help the person continue the story for next time (McCall, J. 2012, p. 228-229).
With guidance, the story’s initial subjective truths can correlate with objective reality. The person may recognize various issues within the story, such as blame, or guilt, or anger that once existed that no longer should exist. In addition, one can begin to reframe the loss within an objective truth as the person heals.
Regaining Self and Connection
Within the grieving process, many times, the person loses sense of self. One may have had such dependence upon the other that one can no longer function. Maybe one identified as a spouse, parent or position and when these things are taken, a person loses this important self image. Again, obviously various CBT or Humanistic Approaches to help cognitively reframe or heal broken images can be utilized, but it is within the smaller bits of communication with the bereaved, where one moves from one point to the next.
It is critical to address and measure a person’s sense of self within sessions. Asking questions that relate to a person’s self image and how a person may feel since the loss. Maybe the person is withdrawing from hobbies or no longer finds interests. These are important notations that can help one measure if one’s sense of self is damaged due to the loss. McCall recommends utilizing the term loneliness not to just mean when one is alone but a feeling that can occur in any circumstance. In addition, she uses the term isolation to refer to any inner experience to withdraw from others (2012, P., 237-238). The grief counselor while helping the person’s self re-find itself, needs to also help the person find relationship with others. The counselor can describe ways for the bereaved to reach out to others and in what ways
Reclaiming Memories and Meaning
Grief healing occurs when old memories are properly collected, understood, and properly recalled with the present and possible future. One is able to find meaning of the loss, no matter what it was, and able to tie the loss together within the chapters of one’s life. The loss has meaning but does not define completely the self or person. The person continues with the loss, albeit in a healthy way. The person is able to build new relationships and write new chapters, despite the existence of the loss.
Helping individuals understand memories and how they connect to meaning and healing are important in grief work. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
In helping individuals, whether through CBT or Humanistic Approaches, grief counselors can pay close attention to particulars and emphasize and carefully monitor certain aspects of this transition during sessions. It is important to see the gradual transformation of the bereaved throughout the process. A good grief counselor will see when certain parts are not lining up and where to intervene and help the client proceed to the next important step of adapting to the loss.
The grief counselor should utilize all mind, body, soul connections tied with ritual and belief. These ideals within the person can play key roles in anchoring the person with meaning in the loss. It is also at this point to ensure the bereaved understands the value of working through grief and that while the first step is to survive the loss, there is so much more beyond just surviving (McCall, J, 2012, p. 252-256). McCall points out it is crucial for the person to understand that surviving the loss is vital to growth but it still not quality of life. As the person recognizes this survival, the person will start to set aside other destructive maladaptive coping habits. These habits need addressed in any counseling.
The grief counselor can help the person progress by asking the client to discuss how it was before the loss. In addition, discuss current accomplishments, as well as offer encouragement. Ask the client to fantasize what one hopes life to be like in the future (McCall, J. 2012,. p. 257).
In remembering, teach clients that memories can be unbearable and that is OK. Ask the client what the memory means to him/her. Let the client know some events make no sense in life and cannot be made into order. Let the client know he/she cannot change the memory or event, but he/she can learn to grow with it. Use other examples of similar stories of how others coped, or present ways to help put an intrusive thought to the back mind. Helping individuals focus on issues when it is safe instead of intrusive and inopportune times helps the person handle emotion and bad memories (McCall, J. 2012, p. 260). As time progresses, help the person reframe bad memories for more positive outcomes and valuable ways to see the past so one may move forward to the future.
Finding meaning in the present and future also means recognizing healing. So many times, one only focuses on the trauma, but it is equally important to focus on healing and transformation. McCall recommends to help the person focus on the mystery of life. Let clients know that they have control of their lives and can dictate what the future holds. Help clients identify healing moments without guilt. Let individuals know beyond being aware of healing moments to embrace them, pray for them , hope for them and practice gratitude when they occur (2012, p. 265).
It is interesting to note that Aaron Antonovksy famous for his theories on “salutogenesis” which emphasizes health as something more aligned with well being than focus on pathology speaks of the importance of coherence in health. For well being and health to exist, he points out three key elements that I feel are important to reframing grief and finding meaning. He first lists comprehensibility as the belief that things/stressors/loss happen in an orderly fashion. Obviously, world views can be shattered with grief and any type of well being is destroyed initially after loss. Secondly, Antonosky points out manageability as crucial to well being in the belief that one has the ability and skills to cope with stressors or loss. In stress, when an organism is over-whelmed, then breakdown begins, so it is not surprising that Antonosky would point out that for well-being, one must be able to manage stressors or loss. Finally, he lists meaningfulness as source of coherence and well being. Meaningfulness is what defines a person’s existence and why one pushes forward. In grief theory, when meaning in life is loss, then well being suffers. It is the purpose of grief counseling to help the person adjust to loss by again finding meaning in life with the loss.
Conclusion
Helping individuals throughout the grieving process involves identifying issues and helping people one step at a time. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals
Sense of meaning is critical to overall health. Without a sense of meaning, health itself can suffer. So when sense of meaning is restored and connected with past, present and future, then true adjustment can occur. Grief Counselors play a key role in helping individuals regain this balance and sense of health. It is sometimes in intense sessions where minor observations and interventions occur that grief healing occurs. It does not occur immediately, but results in multiple months and sometimes years, helping the person adjust to the loss in a healthy way.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in grief counseling.
Reference
McCall, J. (2012). ‘Bereavement Counseling: Pastoral Care for Complicated Grieving”. Routledge
Many times Christian Counseling is understood in the more generic sense of the word, namely, counseling with a biblical emphasis. Yet, the range and extreme in which how Christian Counseling integrates modern psychology is very broad within different schools. Hence in regards to using the words Christian Counseling and Biblical Counseling it would be naive to use them as inter-changeable words. This is because many Biblical Counselors who are only pastors may have a very differently distinct approach than a Christian Counselor with a professional license. Hence within the broad range of Christian Counseling, Biblical Counseling may appear the same but within a certain approach it is not. They do differ. But we must also concisely define Christian Counseling.
Is one defining Christian Counseling as an Integrative Approach? Or is one seeing Christian Counseling as a general term and overall umbrella of different approaches including Biblical Counseling as a particular approach. It is sometimes up to whomever is writing the text or providing the lecture. So Biblical Counseling can be a type of Christian Counseling, or a different approach than Christian Counseling when Christian Counseling is seen as only a particular module and not a collective name.
Biblical Counseling; Benefits and Disadvantages?
There slight differences in Biblical Counseling and Christian Counseling that are important to note
Biblical Counseling understands the Christian faith as a psychology itself (Johnson, E. Ed. 2010, p. 245). It further, according to David Powlison, sees Christian Ministry as a psychotherapy (Johnson, E, Ed., p. 245). Biblical Counseling hence looks to find within Scripture and ultimately within Jesus Christ, various ways to help people with mental or moral issues and identify the root cause as sin. This approach emphasizes the root cause of sin in mental life. Hence, in reviewing a person’s issues, absolute Biblical Counseling identifies the root vice as a source for the pathology. Whether pride, lust or any other vice, Biblical Counseling looks to eradicate the vice to help the person transform from sinful life and find grace and life in Christ. It looks to pastorally guide souls and cure these souls from sin via Jesus Christ (Johnson, E, Ed. 2010, p. 245).
As Christians, we all concur that God is source of all truth and wisdom. He is the author of Scripture and also the author of our mental processes. Hence Powlison and many Biblical Counselors equate psychology and faith on equal grounds. Any secular views of psychology that are not within Scripture or friendly to a Christian view are automatically dismissed. This bias against secular views is sometimes a good thing in rejecting immoral behavior but it can also become overtly suspicious of modern findings. For instance, secular psychology is rapidly legitimizing gender idealogy which is contrary to the Bible and Christian faith. Secular psychology has in many cases justified and accepted immoral concepts to Christians as normal and natural, but Christians have rightfully dismissed them. Does this mean secular psychology and its methodologies should be completely dismissed? What about understand the “why” of moral actions within the human mind?. While secular psychology’s conclusion of immoral acts as morally acceptable is overreaching, psychology provides proven methodologies to understand the mental impulse for a particular action. It is not always actual sin or choice but something deeper at a mental, biological and physiological level. Biblical Counseling in many cases holds to only the nature of the moral action and not the new discoveries of the why of the moral action that are beyond the constructs of moral theology and conscience.
Ultimately Original Sin is the cause of all pathology, but do doctors look to moral theology to cure the body of pathology which ultimately finds it origin in the sin of Adam? One’s own actual sins play a key role in mental pathology and in many cases can be a root cause, but sometimes mental illness exists independent of vice existing within the person. Many times Powlison muddles the water between brain and soul. Pathologies within the brain are not pathologies of the soul, albeit, the brain plays a key role in feeding epistemological knowledge about one’s surroundings and internal feelings. The soul, as fused with the body, in humanity’s temporal form, is dependent upon the brain but the pathologies of the brain while affecting the soul are not always sin of the soul.
Hence Biblical Counseling, in its extreme pastoral sense, becomes more of a sermon on faith, tied together with human experience that can become separated from proven psychological methods. It mistakenly hopes to utilize Scripture as a all purpose book when Scripture, while full of wisdom, is not meant for every aspect of human existence. Its primary goal is salvation and not necessarily biological or mental processes.
Powlison opens his chapter with the comment of St Augustine ” I believe so that you may understand” (Johnson, E, Ed., p 246). This theological statement within philosophy and theology for belief of God, if in turn, is used to promote a psychology remains stuck within a premodern concept of science. When dealing with mental pathology, even when utilizing a Christian frame work, one must study the mind and brain with an empirical understanding. Psychology is not metaphysics but the study of observable things. So while God is the author of both, God has also given humanity different tools to study different sciences.
Biblical Counseling is an Approach within Christian Counseling
Hence biblical counseling is a type of Christian Counseling but not a monopolized ideal of it. Christian Counseling within the Integrated Approach utilizes modern science. It starts with the ideal that sin causes all evil in this world and finds Scripture and the Christian faith as its foundation. It takes from Scripture a sampled amount of wisdom but also utilizes the scientific method to help identify pathologies that are beyond the soul and vice but within the brain and body. This is a balance that does not denounce Christ as the ultimate counselor or looks to Scripture to identify certain moral and mental questions, but it understands the scope of Scripture as a spiritual text not the DSM-5.
More modernist approaches may put Scripture second hand within the psychology and take an extremely opposite approach that forces Christian values and morals to adhere and adjust to new findings, but the Integrated Approach carefully balances science and faith not at the expense of the other. The Levels of Explanation Approach to psychology puts Scripture at the expense of modern findings, while absolute Biblical Counseling Approach challenges and fears secular findings. God is the source of truth. If Scripture contradicts science, either Scripture is misinterpreted, or the science is simply bad. God is the source of truth. The case of Galileo should remind all of the necessity of a balance and understanding where metaphysics and faith ends and empirical study starts.
For more information on the Levels of Explanation Approach, please review the previous blog entitled Christian Counseling and Psychology. In that blog we look at Levels of Explanation, Integration and Biblical Counseling in psychology and how they differ.
Biblical Counseling and Other More Conservative Approaches
Christian Counseling has different approaches, some more conservative than others
Integrative Approach is obviously the middle ground and most utilized approach. Many Christian Counselors who are licensed and posses psychology degrees but remain a fervent faith apply this approach, while pastors and those within theology and metaphysics employ the Only Biblical Approach with suspicion to many secular views. Still other schools of thought exist that veer right from the Integrated Approach and remain polar opposite from the secular schools that look to separate the bible from psychology totally.
Christian Psychology is one such approach that takes the Integrative Approach more Christian based and looks to determine an entire psychology founded within the Christian tradition. If psychology is termed “the science that studies the behavior and mental process of persons” then Christian Psychology would add as understood within the norm “Christian texts and traditions of interpretation” (Johnson, E. Ed. p. 87). Christian Psychology attempts to collect beyond just merely Scripture, but the entirety of Christian philosophy and teaching to orientate a more Christian experience in the psychological process. Like Biblical Counseling, it dismisses immorality but it is far more open to other scientific findings with less bias. It, however, differs from the Integrated Approach in that takes more from the Christian tradition. It less integrated and sometimes will prioritize Christian views over secular at a more extreme level. Like the Integrated Approach, Christian Psychology will utilize CBT, Psychodynamic theories, or Humanistic approaches, but it will; not only incorporate but interpret at a more Christian level. It can also emphasize mental pathology, like Biblical Counseling, as more a source of sin. Hence many who are found within this approach, like Biblical Counseling, are pastors or those of metaphysical background than those within a purely psychological background.
Finally, the Transformationalist Approach, considers psychology and counseling to be a complete spiritual transformation in life. Holding to very strong biblical roots, it finds all starting points in Christ and dismisses modern secular theories but instead turns to the person him/herself. It looks to classical science of not adhering to the empirical and universal method of observation but allowing the object itself to determine methodology. It respects at a higher level phenomenon. This leaves it disagreement with Biblical Counseling and its acceptance of modern methods of associated with science. Phenomenology plays a key role. This is something that is important because not all experiences should be held to the modern empirical method. Since modern science and the extreme philosophy of many logical positivists, empiricism became a religion and the only way to explore the natural world. Yet human experience is far more wide ranging and different ways to investigate existence sometimes are not a good fit with the empirical methodology. Yet, it is the Transformational Approach’s complete dismissal of secular modern methods that places it in some ways more extreme in regards to bias to secular science than even the Biblical Approach. But, like the Biblical Approach, it still sees mental pathology as a source of sin and looks to find healing through transformation via Christ.
What is Shared and Not Shared in all the Christian Counseling Views
All views recognize God as the source of all knowledge and truth. All views understand humanity’s fallen nature. All views understand the importance of Scripture as a starting point for all counseling. Finally, all views share in a common love to bring all to Christ. However, the limit, degree, and dismissal of secular and modern psychology differ between these views. The Levels of Explanation Approach is probably the most extreme version that separates both Christian belief and psychology but finds mutual respect as both believer and psychologist while the Biblical, Christian Psychology and Transformative Approach all to differing degrees tip the scale into a more spiritual experience over psychological, while the Integrative approach balances both faith and science to compliment one another.
So is Biblical Counseling the same as Christian Counseling. If used in the generic, it may seem to be an inter-changeable word, but it remains a far more spiritual experience than within the family of Christian Counseling than other forms that utilize more modern methods incorporated with secular science.
Conclusion
Ultimately Christ is the source of all counseling. Please review AIHCP’S Christian Counseling Certification
In my view, faith and science are both from God as the source of all truth. We live in a fallen world and Original sin and Actual sin all play prominent roles in bad lives, but there is also a mental and biological process separate from the metaphysical. True, they can interact, but not all pathology is rooted in vice. The brain is not the soul. Not every counseling session is about restoration to Christ but sometimes is about helping someone with a purely mental issue. Scripture and the Christian tradition is a starting point, but I do not see Scripture as a biology or science book but a spiritual book. Does it contain vital wisdom for other sources? Absolutely. That is core idea of Christian Counseling itself. But it must be utilized within an Integrated Approach to properly balance spiritual healing when needed versus mental healing.
Always, Christ is the ultimate Counselor, but there are other tools within the sciences beyond Scripture when dealing with nature and humanity that are critical. Would I merely limit them to the empirical method? No. I would also say experience is open to other ways of measuring experience via Phenomenology or Philosophy or other metaphysical studies when appropriate.
Please also remember to review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification Program. The program is biblically based and possesses both Biblical and Integrative Approaches understanding the value of different approaches for different situations. The program is also online and independent study and open to both counselors and pastoral ministers.
Reference
Johnson, E. Ed. “Psychology and Christianity: Five Views”. IVP Academic (2010)
Additional Resources
Murray, D. (2012). “How Biblical is Biblical Counseling?”. The Gospel Coalition. Access here
Myers, L. “CHRISTIAN COUNSELING VS BIBLICAL COUNSELING: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?”. Cornerstone Christian Counseling. Access here
“Christian Counseling”. Psychology Today. Access here
Ethics in counseling has standards that counselors in the human service field must adhere to in regards to conduct with clients, other counselors, employers, students and other peers. They are essential to ensure quality and standards within the field of counseling. Various organizations such as the American Counseling Association offer lists of standards that the profession adheres to in regards to conduct.
Like all professions, Counselors also adhere to ethical standards. Please review AIHCP’s certifications for counselors
This video below reviews in more depth counseling standards and ethics. Please also review AIHCP’s Certifications for counselors including Grief Counseling, Christian Counseling, Crisis Intervention, Anger Management and Stress Management.
Whether operating as a pastoral counselor, licensed counselor or a close friend and confidant in the grief process for a bereaved person, certain biases and perceptions from both the griever and grief helper can hamper the healing process or cloud assessment entirely. In past blogs, we have talked about grief myths, grief bullies and both the griever and the grief helper’s own biases. In this blog, we will put all together as one core unit in how these issues can culminate in preventing healing and also hamper one’s ability to help the grieving.
Helping others through grief is naturally composed of both healthy and unhealthy perceptions, biases and sometimes myths about loss itself.
Grief Myths
Grief myths exist in society and can attach to a particular griever, grief helper, or grief bully. They prevent true healing because they mislead about the true nature of normal grieving itself. They help form bias within the individuals toward a particular grieving process. In Junietta McCall’s text, “Bereavement Counseling: Pastoral Care for Complicated Grieving” there are various problematic implications that occur due to bad perceptions. Among them, McCall lists the denial of the necessity of grief work, the fact grief should always be simple, that any type of extended grief is due to immaturity or pathology, that grieving is feeling sorry for oneself or seeking attention and finally that grieving and any outward manifestation displays weakness in character or lack of faith (2012. p. 182-184). When individuals believe grieving is not normal, or that is an attention seeking process, then these myths become problems that infect the person’s bias in both helper and griever.
Personal Bias
Grief bullies are particular guilty of personal bias. They set timelines for grief and assert rules for expression of grief. Most are harboring their own interior issues and cannot grieve properly themselves. These individuals will assert that individuals are seeking attention, or weak in character. Some may grow with a bias that “real men do not cry” or that it is simply time to “get over it”, Others who are less bullies but more observers may dismiss other’s grief due to their own bias and simply state “the person never talks about it, so I leave it be” or “I avoid this person because it will turn into a sad and uncomfortable conversation every time” or “I would rather say nothing instead of bringing up the pain” or “She needs to simply have more faith” (McCall, 2012, p. 179-182).
From this comes a series of problems grievers face in their own perception of their loss. They may question the amount or lack emotion displayed. They may question if they have grieved or felt bad long enough or not enough. Common exclamations such as “I should be over this by now” or “It is time to move on” or “I feel obligated to cry more” are all nagging pains within the person as the person encounters the grieving process over time. Some may feel a religious obligation to feel happy that the person is in a better place and any crying is selfish or may question other emotions of anger or guilt. Others may feel ashamed they are angry with God or have not shown enough faith that the person is in a better place.
Others may feel conflicted based upon relationships with deceased or the nature of the loss itself. They may feel guilty for not maybe noticing an illness soon enough, or not paying enough attention to someone who passed away and feel it is partly their own fault. The person may feel guilt for not visiting enough or appreciating the person enough. This perception as well other perceptions can create future issues in the grief trajectory and how a person heals. The only way these issues and emotions can be properly diagnosed is through talking and identifying them.
The Pastoral Counselor, Licensed Counselor or Grief Helpers Bias
Many times, even those who work as primary help of the bereaved enter into conversations with their own bias. While grief and loss are objective realities, everyone has particular unique and subjective experience in their reactions to grief. This incorporates a history of grieving that has good and bad things. Some things may also be neutral and worked for oneself while one grieved but may not work for others. This is not to say sharing experience and coping ideas are bad but it has to be done when invited. Comparing grief and offering solutions that may have worked for one’s personal self may not work for others. One should not be upset if one’s particular advice does not lead one to healing but understand that a grief helper is there to listen and sojourn with the bereaved and the griever’s own particular loss in the griever’s own particular way. Biases of past experience hence can be helpful or detrimental based on a case by case basis.
Yet, biases inherently are part of the care and healing process and when used correctly can supply large doses of wisdom and knowledge to healing. The care process, according to McCall, involves both the griever’s bias and the helper’s bias. This leads to two sets of perceptions, thoughts, feelings and beliefs (2012, p. 175). In healthy outcomes, this feedback loop meets the needs of the given grieving situation and promotes healthy healing.
Grief helpers can play key roles in helping identify issues that relate to griever’s bias, beliefs or perceptions due to grief myths or personal complications within the grieving process. McCall lists numerous ways pastors, counselors or friends can help the bereaved through difficult times. McCall lists the critical importance of making careful observations, building healthy relationships, furthering necessary treatment and promoting professional and healthy behaviors (2012, p. 186).
Careful observations push the intuitive abilities of a helper to notate issues that may be arising during the grieving process. This involves not only note taking but also looking for non verbal clues as well as understanding the person’s past history to better identify issues that may be affecting the current grief process. Three key consultation questions arise. First, what is the counselor paying attention to and what could he/she be missing or taking for granted? Second, is something unsettling oneself or making oneself uncomfortable about a particular griever and what is it about? And finally, is the counselor helping the person or getting in the way? (McCall, 2012, p,. 196).
Beyond observations emerges the importance of building a healthy and professional relationship with the bereaved. One that is helpful and not leading to co-dependence but one that is promoting a healing process where the bereaved will be able to again move forward in life. This involves identifying with the person and forming an understanding of their pain. It involves empathy, listening, communication and helping the person form connections from past, present and future (McCall, 2012, p. 189-192).
The third key according to McCall is integrating treatment based upon perceptions. These treatments are unique for each individual griever and may depend on the griever and the nature of the loss. Treatments can range based on the person but it involves good note taking and documentation of challenges and issues that appear during the grief trajectory. These notes and documents help the grief counselor make better assessments and plans of action. Maybe a particular griever needs a particular therapy best performed by a specialist in it, or maybe the griever needs to be seen by a licensed counselor instead of merely a pastoral counselor. Maybe CBT is a better resource than a Humanistic approach, or psychodynamic approach? Maybe this individual would benefit from journaling, or instead of journaling, other forms of artistic expression?
Finally, a review of oneself is critical. It illustrates how one is reacting to the griever and how effective one is being in terms of helping the individual in his/her progress in grieving. In analyzing oneself, one is better able to see how one has been successful and not with this particular griever and what things may need adjusted or even if one needs to step back and allow another with more experience or expertise to resume the role in the care plan.
Conclusion
The grief process is about human beings. The griever and helper are on a mutual journey upon the grief trajectory. Perceptions, bias and process are all part of it. Some individuals have unhealthy bias and myths about grief and their perceptions are detrimental while others have healthy perceptions which aid in healing. The dyad process of two individuals and their past, perceptions and ideas all constitute part of the care model and ultimate healthy grieving outcomes.
The care model of helping others through grief is between the bereaved and helper. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Reference
McCall, J. (2012). “Bereavement Counseling: Pastoral Care for Complicated Grieving”. Routledge.
There are many schools of thought in treatment of individuals facing emotional and mental distress. Psycho-analysis, behavioral and cognitive schools look at each different human lens of existence to help individuals find balance and happiness. Psycho-analysis delves deep into the past to find answers to trauma, pain, pathology or issues plaguing a person. In this venue, we see the seed of Sigmund Freud’s thoughts. Behavioral strategies look how one’s behavior can be modified to alter mental and emotional issues. Ivan Pavlov demonstrated the role of classical conditioning on the a person’s behavior. Cognitive schools emphasized the rethinking aspect to helping others overcome mental and emotional issues. Aaron Beck in the 1960s would combine behavior and cognition as a way to help others via Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Another type of way to address human distress is Humanist Therapy. This type of behavior which has success for many is holistic in nature and looks at the now instead of the past to find healthy balance within a person. It is far more patient based and subjective in nature. Due to its greater emphasis on self-happiness and subjective view of self, it focuses more on the person’s emotion in the present and its interaction with others. It looks to restore and find balance within the person. It finds its conclusion through authenticity with self and room for self growth in the present and relationships with others (Sherrell, Z,, 2023)
This has many implications within grief. Grief can shatter a person’s self image and world view. Humanistic approaches can help restore confidence and hope. It is very sensitive to the needs of the person. While it may not alone suffice for all cases, it can definitely contribute to specific needs of the grieving person. In this blog, we will shortly review the nature of the Humanistic Approach for grief, its strengths, its weaknesses, and how it can be incorporated.
Humanistic Approach
Humanistic Therapy is a more holistic and emotional direct therapy that focuses on emotion in the present and how to deal with those emotions in relationship to self and self worth
The idea of meeting human needs to find balance has many strengths in psychological thought. Abraham Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs sketched a thorough outline of how when human needs are not met, pathology and dysfunction can occur. Carl Rogers, however, established the Humanistic school of thought. Rogers wished to treat the entirety of the human person and felt the imbalance or lack of fulfillment in life constituted the biggest problem to individuals. He labeled the term congruence to distinguish between healthy balance in life that reflected interior perceptions with the outside world. When balance occurred, Rogers believed human beings display healthy mental and emotional behaviors. When incongruence emerged or imbalance between self and the world, then person’s mental and emotional health suffered (Mcleod, S., 2024).
Rogers Humanistic Approach centered upon the needs and desires of the person. It revolved around the now and the relationships within the person’s realm. The first key elements were regarding self image and self worth. A person’s self image correlated with how the person viewed oneself in life, his/her existence and relationship with others and how the person fits (Mcleod. S. 2024). Self image focuses on a person’s perceived value (Mcleod, S., 2024). In contrast, the existence of the real self, the actual depiction of the person’s existence can cause distress and imbalance. Identifying the real self is essential in understanding oneself in all the good and bad that exists within. It is the starting point to reaching the ideal self. The ideal self is what one hopes and strive to become. When the ideal self and self image are imbalanced, congruence is not achieved and a state of incongruence exists that causes unhappiness and discontent as well as unhealthy psychological conditions (Mcleod, S., 2024).
According to Rogers, it is hence important to have a high positive regard with self worth. Individuals with a high self worth can grow and handle stressors and difficulties, while those with a lower self worth encounter difficulties in life and have a hard time growing from negative events (Mcleod, S., 2024). Rogers believed that a full functioning person reaches a state of actualization when congruence occurs ands is able to better live a fulfilled life. He identified five primary characteristics to congruent individual. He pointed out that one is open to new experiences, living existentially in the moment, trusting one’s feeling, displaying creativity and living a fulfilled life (Mcleod, S., 2024).
The Humanist Therapist hence needs to help the person cultivate a higher self worth and find congruence.
Humanistic Techniques
In cultivating higher self and congruence, unconditional positive regard is employed that accepts the person for who he/she is and offers little criticism. Rogers felt that conditional positive regard later put conditions on love or behavior that could negatively shape an individual’s development. This less structured technique embraces the authenticity of the person and looks at the subjective needs of the person. It places the Humanist Therapist into a place more of guide and equal than true authority figure in counseling. The counselor utilizes deep empathy and rephrasing skills to help the person find congruence and balance.
One critical technique employed by the Humanist Therapist is Gestalt Therapy. Gestalt Therapy focuses on the present and its emotions and how to better understand and grow from them (Dexter. G., 2022). It helps one be more mindful of current situation and emotions and how emotions interact with current relationships in life. It helps an individual better identify emotions, utilize them and communicate them with others (Dexter, G., 2022). Some common themes found within Gestalt Therapy includes the “Empty Chair” where one pretends to speak to someone and role playing with the therapist to communicate emotion (Dexter, G. , 2022).
In addition to Gestalt Therapy, Humanist Therapists utilize a very Patient-Centered approach that acknowledges the needs of the patient and places a great importance on equality between client and counselor. The counselor plays a key role in building the person’s self worth and avoiding judgement. The therapy again is focused on the present and is more broad spectrum holistic instead of focusing on one particular issue.
Other techniques include Narrative Therapy which identifies values, Existential Therapy which identifies place in the world, and Logotherapy which focuses on helping individuals cope with difficulties and trials in life (Cherry, K., 2023).
Benefits and Disadvantages
When Humanistic Therapy is utilized there are benefits and disadvantages. Obviously, helping one’s self esteem can empower someone to retake one’s life and move forward in life. Self image and how one perceives oneself is essential to mental and emotional well being. This holistic approach treats the entirety of the human person, helps one find empowerment, self acceptance and confidence, and grants the client an empathetic and non-judgmental guide (Sherrell, Z., 2023). However, there are limitations and possible weaknesses to the therapy. It has the potential side effect of creating a dependency on the therapist, as well as not addressing acute issues in one’s mental health. The lack of structure can also be counterproductive to certain personalities, as well as being very intensive emotionally and time consuming than other therapies (Sherrell, Z., 2023). It is also very subjective in nature. The ontolology towards happiness is not a particular code but instead revolves around what one needs and wants. This can sometimes create a disordered approach to what is right and wrong versus what makes someone happy.
Humanistic Approach in Grief
I think the approach has many benefits for grieving, albeit, I do not think it should be the only way one works with the grieving. Obviously, different people need different strategies. Some grieving individuals may need more cognitive and behavioral guidance with structure, while others may greatly benefit from a unstructured and holistic approach on emotion. Some may greatly benefit from a mixture and blending of strategies.
Obviously when dealing with depression and emotion, the self image, self worth and the ideal self is key for happiness. Many depressed individuals have major self esteem issues and the techniques and practices in the Humanistic Approach can play a key benefit in helping a grieving individual find congruence and balance. It can help the person understand the emotions, their connections with others, and how one can grow from loss and find connection again in life.
Conclusion
The Humanistic Approach has many advantages but its ultimate success depends on the needs of the griever and what therapy is best. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
I feel the Humanistic Approach is best utilized in an integrative approach with cognitive and behavioral practices to better help the person not only emotionally but also grant the person ways to cognitively reframe issues. The grave importance of self image, happiness and balance cannot be overlooked and are essential aspects of finding long term emotional and mental health. Different individuals have different needs. Some benefit better from a singular approach, while others from an integrated approach. Ultimately, when helping the grieving, the best therapy for the individual is the one that best meets the needs of the person. If a licensed counselor is not comfortable or acquainted enough with one therapy, then referrals should be encouraged, but for those with comfort in a particular therapy or multiple disciplines, then one can truly begin to help others from a multi-faceted angle. The Humanistic Approach is definitely one that all licensed counselors or those in grief theory should be familiar with.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Additional Resources
Mcleod, S. (2024). “Carl Rogers Humanistic Theory And Contribution To Psychology”. SimplyPsychology. Access here
“Different approaches to psychotherapy”. APA. Access here
Sherrell, Z. (2023). “What is Humanist Therapy”. MedicalNewsToday. Access here
Dexter, G. (2022). “What Is Gestalt Therapy?”. VeryWellHealth. Access here
“Humanistic Therapy”. Psychology Today. Access here
Cherry, K. (2023). “What Is Humanistic Therapy?”. VeryWellHealth. Access here
From a spiritual and religious perspective, ritual has a soothing effect on the dying as well as the bereaved family. It symbolizes comfort and peace in the uncertainty. Spiritually, Last Rites as a series of sacraments manifest within the soul a particular grace received that helps the person prepare for happy death. Confession, Communion and Anointing constitute this series of religious rituals.
Last Rites not only spiritually prepares the soul for death but also gives hope and peace to the mind and family of the dying. Please also review AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Program
Christ Himself gave comfort to the dying and in the story of Lazarus not only comforted the family but brought him back to life. As one of His greatest miracles, Christ showed mercy and compassion. Last Rites can have physical miraculous effects but this is rare and far between but exists more so for the spiritual wellbeing of the soul. The mental and emotional side effects are also important for both the person dying as well the family surrounding the person.
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification as well as its Christian Grief Counseling Program for already existing grief counselors. Both programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals.
One’s faith is a critical component to self identity. It is a world view that acts like a compass when times of trouble occur. It is an anchor that keeps the person in place as the various “isms” of the world alter society. Hence, when loss challenges world view or spiritual belief, the person can find him/herself in an existential crisis. Many with spiritual and religious background respond strong to loss with certainty and faith, but when faith is misplaced, or when the loss is traumatic, there can be mild, moderate or even severe faith challenges to the individual.
Christianity as a faith plays the same psychological basis as any faith for a person with a world view. A Muslim, Jew, or Hindu can weather the storm of loss and grief from a psychological standpoint if their faith plays a key role in identity of the person. Likewise, spiritual individuals who may have no religious affiliation can also have strong roots in facing adversity. In addition, even atheists or agnostics, although subject to possible turmoil more than spiritually based individuals, can also have world views that allow them to show resilience in loss. Obviously, family and communal support plays a key role as well, so to merely judge one’s resilience on faith alone without considering support can lead to disparities.
Faith is a powerful tool in helping grievers find peace and healing. Healthy faith gives connection to God, beliefs and others within the community and helps one readjust and find meaning in the loss
In conclusion, for most, faith and ritual play critical roles in helping individuals understand the loss and its suffering. Rituals help heal wounds and find closure but also understanding and hope. Religion offers hope and reunion beyond the temporal world. It gives a sense of meaning to why we suffer or what we must do. Faith also gives individuals the sense of being loved by a Divine Being who cares and hopes to heal them. These are critical aspects of resiliency due the connection with God, meaning and a community of believers. However, when spirituality is unhealthy, things can go drastically wrong.
A Healthy Faith and Loss
There is also discussion in loss how much a role spirituality plays versus religious. This stems from healthy versus sick faith. A devout religious person or a devout spiritual person both have strong views that can help them through loss but also those views can become more adversely challenged when bad things happen. We hear many definitions of individuals who are spiritual but not religious, or we see on the other hand, individuals who are only outwardly religious but have no spiritual personal life. I find both imbalances unhealthy and more open to potential pitfalls during loss (if looking at faith and loss alone without any other factors).
The spiritual but religious motif is usually a response to anger towards organized religion. One is suspect to it or has had a unhealthy encounter with it. This prevents communal, ritualistic and dogmatic tenets to emerge in the person’s world view. The person becomes his/her own existential religious guide in determining faith world views. The person is deeply committed but not held to an objective standard in many cases. The person is usually also more isolated from communal religious bonds.
The purely overt religious but lacking spirituality is an equally dangerous road. The person is more concerned with show and communal approval. The dogmas are more about identity than true motivating source to act. It creates a proudful and pharisaical image that dominates unfortunately American politics and Christian nationalism. It is faith without love, but also faith without true foundation.
The proper balance is the personal and communal that incorporates the individual’s piety with the collective dogmatic creed and ritual of the religion. It balances the arrogance of religious identity but also prevents the subjectivity of wandering spirituality that self serves one’s own desires. It is religion in public and private worship perfectly balanced. An individual who preaches and who also practices one’s faith is a far more healthy spiritual person and one more adept at handling loss and grief. They have identity, ritual and communal support but also deep spiritual understanding of the ritual and faith and it nourishes the soul. It is not a subjective self chosen diet of faith but one that rests upon the tenets of a faith handed down for generations.
Hence healthy faith is critical in responding to loss. Religious and spiritual individuals may respond to loss in very positive ways due to their faith but when faith is not healthy, it can derail the grieving process in mild, moderate or more serious ways.
Issues in Faith and Loss
Christian Counselors, Pastoral Counselors or Grief Counselors when dealing with faith based individuals and loss should always tread easy when first discussing God and loss with a distressed individual. Individuals experiencing loss are no longer intellectual at first. They are in a state of shock and numbness. This follows with denial and an array of emotions, which include sadness, anger and even guilt. Incorporating a comment as “Your child is now with God” or “Your husband is now in Heaven” can cause a very angry reaction towards God. This is not unnatural to have anger towards God. It is not unnatural to doubt God or question God even. Within the first days of emotional distress, this mild adverse reaction which occurs with some believers, even with the most profound faith is not something to be overtly concerned with.
Individuals may only briefly question, or this questioning may persist through the depressive stage of grief as one tries to understand loss and organize it with life’s narrative. This is especially true in more traumatic incidents, when a parent loses a child, or an entire town is destroyed by a tornado. It becomes quite difficult through the depressive and mourning stage to understand God’s presence. Not everyone can show patience like Job and that is OK.
When the loss challenges the faith and doubt emerges, complications within the grieving process can occur. Usually unhealthy faith is more vulnerable to spiritual complications in grieving but it can occur to anyone
Obviously as pointed out, those with an imbalanced faith, poor foundation of faith, or no faith are more subject to negative spiritual reactions about God and the loss. Obviously, one has to take into account support systems and the level of the loss in regards to reactions that are mild, moderate or severe but for most part, those with kinks in the armor of faith are more subject to moderate or severe negative spiritual reactions when dealing with a loss.
In addition to imbalance of spirituality and religious, a lack of understanding of faith can play a key role in negative experiences. Individuals who see prayer as a magic bean and God as a genie willing to grant wishes face a far more difficult grief reaction that an individual who recognizes prayer as communion with God. Likewise, individuals who consider their power of prayer as a sign of their faith and a correlation of their relationship with God are also more subject to negative spiritual reactions in loss. Prayer when it is seen as a contract and not a covenant with God creates a distortion of faith. Instead of seeing God as a genie that grants or does not grant, individuals need to see God as a Father who walks and comforts us. Can God grant our prayers? Yes, but does He always, no!.
Faith that has a strong understanding of the human condition and suffering is key. Within Christianity especially, suffering is seen as part of a fallen existence due to sin. In Christianity, God becomes human and suffers with humanity. Jesus Christ shows individuals that God’s will is not always the easiest or least painful but one that is necessary. If Christ Himself suffered, what can we expect? In the Christian faith, Christian Counselors can utilize the motif of Christ as “Suffering Servant” who suffered first as an excellent coping example when loss and grief occur. Christ suffered first. However, with that suffering and death came also victory. Christ conquered death and rose. So shall all who suffer in Christ, shall rise in Christ.
So while many individuals may feel abandoned or betrayed by God, like Job, like Christ, one can find light at the end of the tunnel. Even Christ, felt abandoned on the cross. It is OK to feel this and important to express it, as Christ Himself expressed. In the Garden and on the cross, Christ felt completely alone and abandoned, but pushed forward in faith. Hence, when we feel alone or abandoned in loss, we must realize that Christ is with us and it is important to emphasize this in Christian Counseling when dealing with loss. Christ is not always here to take away the cross, but He is definitely here to help one carry it.
Finally, in addition to misunderstanding of suffering, those with an unhealthy faith have key misunderstandings of the essence of God Himself. They can easily fall prey to the philosophical traps of the atheistic world which challenges God. The famous query, “How can a Good and All Powerful God permit suffering?” is all too used in atheistic and agnostic circles without rebuttal. If God is good then suffering should not exist, but if suffering exists, then He must not be all powerful, for a good being would never permit suffering. So the atheist or agnostic leaves the suffering individual with only two false options. Either God is not all good and a sadist being, or He is not God and not powerful enough to stop evil and suffering. This two answer only option is the trap. The fact remains, God is both good and all-powerful, but suffering and evil exists because He created intelligent beings in His image with the ability to do good or evil. Evil and suffering is a result of free choice not God. God does not wish to prevent freedom to love or hate because that would be the ultimate rejection of human and angelic freedom. The source of evil is choice, not a good God and God’s power is not in question as He permits the consequences to carry out in a fallen world.
Interventions in Spiritual Complications with Grief
The stages of grief are outlines of human experience with the grieving process. They obviously are not always linear. They can skip steps, revert back to former steps and oscillate between each other in intensity. Different individuals, depending on a variety of subjective circumstances react differently to different losses, but we can form a basis for understanding of the universal reaction to grief and draw a blue print of what is healthy and what is not healthy. When spiritual complications arise, it can derail the grieving process. Spirituality as something that is usually a anchor and help in healing can, as stated, create mild, moderate or even severe complicated grief reactions.
In the first stage, individuals respond with shock, disbelief and denial. Even the most devout and spiritual person will feel the shock and pain of the loss. How could this happen? With emotion swirling, intellect and what one consciously believes can sometimes be swept to the side. The individual may question God, or become angry with God.
For many, mild complications of grief and spirituality can lead the person back to God with more strength realizing their dependence upon God
As grief and the reality of the loss sets in, the individual enters into the dark night of sadness and pain. Some will find consolation in faith, while others may feel a desolation. Some may feel abandoned by God. This is not necessarily a complication but a natural reaction to loss. In this desolation, is there a merely a feeling of “Where are you God”, or is a more intense belief that God does not exist at all, or even a reaction of hatred towards God. While it is still too early, especially considering the varying natures of loss to consider anger towards God or disbelief in God as a severe reaction, it still nonetheless a mild reaction that could complicate spiritual readjustment later. It should be closely monitored to see how it develops in the spiritual life of the person.
In the despair and pain of loss, individuals go through three phases of spiritual reconnection. McCall, in her text, “Bereavement Counseling: Pastoral Care for Complicated Grieving” points out the trials of despair, discernment and conversion during the process of mild, moderate or severe estrangement from God. She mentions that during the despair moment, some individuals never reclaim the peace and joy of God, but instead remain haunted by the loss and a emptiness with God. They are unable to reconcile from the depression and pain, a logical bridge between the loss and their worldview.
It is following this phase, that discernment occurs. The individual either continues breaking down his/her worldview and its incompatibility with the loss, or finally finds guidance from grace or the aid of others to connect the loss with faith and the world view. This leads to renewed energy to seek forgiveness from God. Others discover how much they need God in the loss and despair. Sometimes in the darkest days, we discover how much we need God by our side. We realize that we cannot stand alone but need God. This recognition can lead to a deeper and stronger faith. However, sometimes, it can complicate things with guilt for how one behaved or create a pseudo response where one accepts one’s world view but still nonetheless with less energy and commitment as before. If not, this continues to lead further breaking down of the worldview and faith. When answered it leads to the renewal of faith and rituals, but if does not occur, then the person is unable to reintegrate the faith into one’s life at this point.
These steps are clearly seen in C.S. Lewis’ “Grief Observed” where Lewis experiences the spiritual battle between his faith and the pain and loss of his wife. He writes about his despair and depression and journals his anger and sense of abandonment. (Clearly exhibiting a mild spiritual existential crisis in his life) He however in later chapters discerns the loss, reconnects it with God, and finds meaning. He then reintegrates his faith with the loss.
After suffering, individuals enter the final stages of grief which involve acceptance of the loss. McCall lists a two fold process that involves re-organization as well as recovery itself, albeit recovery is a false word in grieving. Adjustment seems to be a far better word in grieving because no person truly recovers from loss but only learns to adjust to it in healthy ways with meaning. In the case of spirituality, one is able to connect the meaning of loss with their faith and incorporate again a healthy relationship with God via former spiritual practices. However, complications in spiritual grief become severe when this stage is unattainable. The individual does not recover his/her faith in God but instead either hates God or completely denies His existence. In even more adverse reactions, removal of all memories of the faith before, including images or statues occur, as well as a bellicose attitude towards religion or anyone who holds a religious view. The person refuses to attend rituals or pray and has completely removed their previous held worldview. The ability to tie the loss with their previous worldview is impossible. This causes a complication in the grieving process that prevents the person from finding peace or readjusting to the new narrative in a healthy fashion.
As the parable of Christ states, sometimes the seed of faith falls in fertile ground and can overcome all adversity while seeds that fall in thorny ground are never able to produce fruit. This is sometimes the sad reality but as Grief and Christian Counselors, we can try to help individuals in the infant stages of loss with support and love. During the later phases of searching and yearning, we can emphasize the true nature of suffering, its meaning, and how Christ suffers with us. It is important to help and encourage healthy grieving practices that are adaptive and not maladaptive. Support and care can prevent further despair and help the person find gratitude and hope in others and again in God. It can help individuals realize that God is still present despite the loss.
Conclusion
Faith is usually an important anchor in grief adjustment but sometimes due to a variety of reasons it can complicate the grieving process. Faith that is healthy gives connection and meaning to the grieving person to a Deity or Higher Power, as well as worldviews and a communal support system. However, sometimes faith and the loss cannot find meaning and when this occurs an existential crisis can complicate grieving. When previous held beliefs are no longer integrated and tied to the loss, then readjustment into life can become difficult and complications in grief can arise. It is important to identify issues that may arise in spiritual and religious people at the earliest phases and help not only counsel and educate but give them hope that life continues. Christian and pastoral counselors as well as grief counselors can help spiritual individuals find hope in loss.
Christ is the ultimate examples for Christians when dealing with loss and pain. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Christian Counseling.
For certified grief counselors, please also review AIHCP’s Christian Grief Counselor Program. The program explores grief, loss and suffering from a Christian perspective.
References
C.S Lewis. (1961). “Grief Observed”
McCall, Junietta. (2012). “Bereavement Counseling: Pastoral Care for Complicated Grieving”. Routledge
Additional Resources
Mendoza, M. (2020). “Complicated Spiritual Grief”. Psychology Today. Access here
Williams. L. (2022). “The Missing Link: Spirituality and Grief”. What’s Your Grief. Access here
Feldman, D. (2019). “The Power of Rituals to Heal Grief”. Psychology Today. Access here
“Easing grief through religion and spirituality”. (2015). Harvard Health Publishing. Access here
Christian marriage counseling is a specialized form of therapy that integrates theological principles with psychological insights to support couples in their marital journey. It’s designed to help couples navigate the complexities of married life, drawing on the wisdom of scripture and the practical tools of counseling to foster unity, resolve conflicts, and grow together in love. Whether in times of crisis or for regular maintenance, Christian counseling offers a unique approach to help marriages thrive at every stage.
Jesus blessed marriage at Cana.
Since marriage bonds the most cellular unit of society, its survival is also important in a secular way as well. The family provides structure, respect, love and and unity to today’s youth. Weak families represent a weak society. It is hence important to preserve marriage, especially the Christian view of it which views its sanctity. While divorce rates increase, the threat to the Christian family is evident.
Certified Christian Counselors can help with a variety of marriage issues, from premarital counseling to family counseling to marriage counseling itself. They can offer in-depth guidance from a pastoral and biblical view that respects the unity of marriage and helps couples find a closer bond or repair a bond. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals.
Key Takeaways
Christian marriage counseling combines theological wisdom with psychological practices to address marital challenges.
Faith plays a crucial role in relationship dynamics, with spiritual beliefs influencing marital satisfaction and conflict resolution.
Counseling techniques in a Christian context include communication skills, forgiveness, and premarital preparation.
Christian counselors assist with a range of marital issues, such as financial disputes, infidelity, and role expectations.
Resources like church-based programs, literature, and community support provide additional help for Christian couples.
Theoretical Foundations of Christian Marriage Counseling
Marriage was ordained by God as a sacred union between a man and woman to propagate society through love and unity
Integration of Theology and Psychology
The integration of psychology and Christianity offers a unique approach to marriage counseling that respects both the scientific and spiritual dimensions of human experience. This dual perspective not only acknowledges the emotional and mental aspects of relationship issues but also incorporates the spiritual needs that are central to many Christian couples.
The Bible is seen as a foundational text, providing wisdom and guidance for couples.
Therapeutic methods are selected for their effectiveness and compatibility with Christian values.
The counselor’s role is to facilitate healing by drawing on both psychological principles and spiritual truths.
The holistic nature of this approach aims to foster healing and growth within the marital relationship, addressing the full spectrum of emotional, mental, and spiritual needs.
Understanding the individual’s personal faith and comfort level with spiritual practices is crucial. Communication with the therapist about preferences for the inclusion of prayer and scripture is encouraged to tailor the counseling experience.
Biblical Perspectives on Marriage
The institution of marriage, as depicted in the Bible, is not merely a social contract but a sacred covenant designed by God. Marriage is intended to be a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church, a union characterized by love, mutual respect, and commitment. The challenges faced by couples today, including escalating divorce rates and domestic violence, are in stark contrast to this divine blueprint.
Genesis emphasizes the purpose of marriage for companionship, procreation, and stewardship of the earth.
Ephesians 5:25-33 outlines the roles of husbands and wives, highlighting love and respect as foundational pillars.
1 Corinthians 7 provides guidance on marital duties and addresses issues related to marital disputes.
Despite the tribulations of life, God provides the means for couples to access the promise of marriage’s original design. Qualified and compassionate counselors, inspired by the Holy Spirit, offer guidance to restore wholeness in marriage.
The integration of biblical wisdom with professional counseling techniques offers a powerful resource for couples seeking to build a marriage that aligns with Christian principles. It is through this synergy that couples can find the support and direction necessary to navigate the complexities of marital life while upholding the sanctity of their vows.
Models of Christian Counseling
Christian marriage counseling encompasses a variety of models, each integrating faith with therapeutic practices. Gottman’s Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is one such model that has gained prominence. It emphasizes practical, actionable strategies for strengthening marital bonds, such as ‘ENHANCE YOUR LOVE MAPS’, which encourages couples to deepen their understanding of each other’s worlds.
Another model frequently employed is the Developmental Model, which views marriage as a series of developmental stages, each with its unique challenges and growth opportunities. This model helps couples anticipate and navigate the changes inherent in married life.
Christian counselors also often draw from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Family Systems Theory, adapting these approaches to align with Christian doctrine and values. The integration of these models within a Christian framework aims to provide holistic support to couples, addressing both psychological and spiritual needs.
The Role of Faith in Relationship Dynamics
Spiritual Beliefs and Marital Satisfaction
The interplay between spiritual beliefs and marital satisfaction is a complex yet pivotal aspect of Christian marriage counseling. Spiritual alignment can significantly enhance the emotional and relational well-being of couples. Research indicates that shared spiritual beliefs and practices, such as prayer and worship, often correlate with higher levels of marital satisfaction.
The shared journey of faith in a marriage not only fosters a deeper connection between partners but also provides a framework for understanding and navigating life’s challenges together.
Couples who actively engage in their spiritual lives tend to report stronger bonds and a greater sense of unity. This is reflected in the way they handle conflicts, communicate, and express commitment to one another. The following points highlight the qualitative impact of spiritual beliefs on marital satisfaction:
A shared spiritual identity can create a strong foundation for marital commitment.
Spiritual practices, like prayer, can offer solace and guidance during marital difficulties.
Faith communities often provide support and resources that reinforce marital bonds.
While the benefits are clear, it is important for counselors to recognize and respect the individual spiritual journeys of each partner, ensuring that counseling techniques are inclusive and supportive of both partners’ beliefs.
Faith-Based Conflict Resolution
In the realm of Christian marriage counseling, faith-based conflict resolution plays a pivotal role in fostering harmonious relationships. The integration of spiritual beliefs with professional counseling techniques, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), offers a unique approach to resolving disputes. Counselors often encourage couples to engage in open communication, guided by the principles of love, kindness, and respect, which are central to Christian teachings.
Mediation and Counseling: A trained Christian mediator can help reestablish communication, allowing couples to address deeper marital issues.
Professional and Spiritual Integration: Combining professional methods with faith can enhance the counseling experience, aligning it with the couple’s spiritual values.
Transparent Standards: Therapists who adhere to a Statement of Faith provide clarity and assurance to couples seeking counseling from a biblical perspective.
In the pursuit of marital harmony, it is essential to recognize that both communication and healthy conflict are valuable. They serve as gateways to understanding one’s spouse more deeply and to growing together in faith.
By embracing both faith and professional expertise, Christian marriage counseling can effectively guide couples through the complexities of conflict, leading to a strengthened bond and a deeper connection.
Prayer and Its Impact on Marital Health
The practice of prayer within the context of marriage is a cornerstone of spiritual intimacy and a vital component in the health of a Christian union. Prayer serves as a conduit for divine guidance, offering couples a shared spiritual discipline that can deepen their connection and provide solace during times of conflict. It is not merely a ritual, but a strategic tool that can fortify a marriage against the challenges of life.
The impact of prayer on marital health can be multifaceted:
Encouraging vulnerability and openness between spouses
Inviting God’s presence and wisdom into the relationship
Strengthening the resolve to uphold marital commitments
Providing a framework for forgiveness and reconciliation
The multi-pronged approach of prayer in marriage fosters communication, facilitates forgiveness, and enhances emotional and physical intimacy, growing the character of Christ in both individuals and as a couple.
While empirical data on the efficacy of prayer in marriage is limited, anecdotal evidence and the experiences of many Christian couples suggest that prayer can play a significant role in maintaining and improving marital health. It is a spiritual discipline that, when practiced consistently, can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling partnership.
Christian Counseling Techniques and Interventions
Christian Counselors can help couples become closer in their bond and also help them repair it
Communication Skills in a Christian Context
In Christian marriage counseling, communication is pivotal to fostering a healthy relationship. Counselors often emphasize the integration of Christian principles with effective communication techniques to help couples express their thoughts and feelings constructively. For instance, active listening, a core skill in counseling, is enriched by the Christian virtue of patience, allowing partners to fully hear and understand each other before responding.
Effective communication in a Christian marriage involves more than just talking; it includes understanding the spiritual and emotional dimensions of one’s partner. A counselor might guide a couple through exercises that reflect on scriptural teachings about love and respect, which can then be applied to daily interactions.
It is essential for couples to recognize that their words have the power to build up or tear down their relationship. By applying Christian values to their communication, they can create a more loving and supportive environment.
Counselors may also provide resources such as books or workshops that focus on enhancing communication within a Christian framework. These resources can offer practical advice and exercises to practice at home, reinforcing the skills learned in counseling sessions.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation Processes
In Christian marriage counseling, forgiveness and reconciliation are pivotal processes that facilitate healing and the restoration of trust. Forgiveness is not just a one-time event, but a continuous journey that couples embark on, often requiring divine grace and personal humility. The counselor’s role is to guide couples through this journey, helping them to understand and practice forgiveness as modeled by Christ.
Identify the source of hurt or betrayal
Acknowledge the pain and impact on the relationship
Develop a plan for rebuilding trust and commitment
The process of forgiveness and reconciliation is deeply personal and can be transformative for a marriage. It involves not only the letting go of past grievances but also the proactive work of rebuilding a relationship on the principles of love and respect.
Counselors may employ various techniques to aid in this process, such as facilitating open communication, encouraging empathy, and setting actionable goals for the couple. These steps are crucial for couples to move beyond the pain and towards a renewed sense of unity and purpose in their marriage.
Premarital Counseling and Preparation
Premarital counseling serves as a proactive measure to equip couples with the necessary tools and insights for a successful marriage. The process is designed to address issues often overlooked during the wedding planning phase. It encourages healthy communication and conflict resolution patterns that can sustain a marriage over the long term.
The benefits of premarital counseling are substantial, with research suggesting a correlation between such counseling and lower divorce rates. Couples who engage in premarital counseling often report lower levels of relationship conflict and a higher quality of relationship overall.
Key components of premarital counseling include:
Exploring expectations about marriage
Understanding past influences on perceptions of marriage
Cultivating appreciation for each other’s strengths
Committing to healthy habits for long-term marital health
Premarital counseling is not just about preparing for a wedding, but about laying the groundwork for the years that follow. It’s about delving into the ideas and impressions formed about marriage and ensuring that both partners are ready for their life together.
Addressing Challenges in Christian Marriages
Navigating Financial Disputes with Faith
Financial disputes are among the most common challenges faced by married couples, and they can be particularly distressing when they threaten the harmony of a Christian marriage. By applying biblical principles and faith-based approaches, counselors can guide couples towards constructive financial management and mutual understanding.
In Christian marriage counseling, financial disputes are addressed not just as monetary issues but as opportunities for spiritual growth and deeper partnership. Counselors often encourage couples to reflect on their stewardship of resources, align their financial goals with their spiritual values, and practice generosity and contentment.
Identify shared financial values and goals
Develop a budget that reflects these values
Implement regular financial check-ins
Cultivate a spirit of gratitude and trust in God’s provision
In the context of faith, financial disputes can become a path to greater intimacy and trust, as couples learn to manage their resources in a way that honors God and supports their shared life mission.
It is essential for counselors to foster an environment where both partners feel heard and respected, ensuring that financial planning becomes a collaborative effort rather than a source of contention.
Dealing with Infidelity and Restoration
Christian Counselors, pastors and spiritual directors can help repair bonds from infidelity
Infidelity in marriage is a profound breach of trust that can decimate the foundation of the relationship. Restoration is possible, but it requires a deep commitment to healing and change from both partners. The process often involves several key steps:
Acknowledging the affair and its impact on the marriage
The journey toward restoration is not linear and can be fraught with setbacks. However, with patience and dedication, couples can navigate this challenging path and emerge with a stronger, more resilient union.
Christian marriage counseling addresses infidelity by integrating spiritual principles with therapeutic practices. The multi-pronged approach serves the couple by fostering communication, facilitating forgiveness, and enhancing emotional and physical intimacy. It is crucial for the couple to grow in the character of Christ, both individually and as a married couple, to prevent future occurrences and to fortify their marital bond.
Managing Expectations and Role Definitions
In Christian marriage counseling, managing expectations and defining roles are crucial for fostering a healthy marital relationship. Couples are encouraged to openly discuss their individual and shared aspirations, as well as their understanding of marital responsibilities. This dialogue helps in aligning their expectations with the realities of married life and with their faith-based values.
Helping couples understand and articulate their expectations
Assisting in the development of conflict management skills
Setting goals and clarifying boundaries within the marriage
By cultivating an appreciation of each other’s gifts and strengths, couples can build a more resilient and satisfying union.
It is essential for couples to embrace the journey of rediscovery, finding joy in the process and focusing on the goodness that their faith brings into the marriage, even when challenges arise. Deciding to delight in the process of befriending and discovering one another again can be transformative.
Christian Marriage Counseling for Different Stages of Life
Newlywed Adjustments and Unity
The transition into married life for newlyweds is a unique period of adjustment where couples learn to function as a unified entity. Navigating this new dynamic often requires a deliberate shift in focus from individual to collective goals. The process involves not only the merging of lives but also the intertwining of dreams, aspirations, and daily routines.
Be aware of the season you are in, and invest accordingly in your marriage covenant.
Utilize therapeutic sessions to support the practice of new ways of interacting.
Welcome your spouse to express themselves without judgment, listening for the voice of God in their heart’s burdens.
The early days of marriage are a time to lay a strong foundation for the future. It is essential to cultivate habits that promote unity and understanding, setting the stage for a lifetime of companionship.
Couples are encouraged to free themselves to shift time, energy, and attention to other areas of the marriage that they wish to grow. This may include committing in prayer and seeking accountable support to refocus and prioritize the relationship. Encouraging fruitfulness by pivoting attention from problems to pursuing shared interests can also be a key to delighting in the process of befriending and discovering one another anew.
Midlife Transitions and Marital Renewal
Midlife transitions present unique challenges and opportunities for marital renewal. As couples navigate changes in career, health, and family dynamics, they often encounter the need to redefine their relationship. Marital strain can simmer when issues are left unaddressed, leading to a gradual withdrawal from the partnership. It is crucial to maintain the heart of the marriage through regular care and attention to prevent the compounding effects of neglect.
In this stage, couples are encouraged to shift their focus from problems to pursuing shared interests and recreation. This deliberate pivot can reignite passion and foster a deeper connection.
The following steps can be instrumental in renewing a marriage during midlife transitions:
Freeing time, energy, and attention to grow other areas of the marriage.
Committing in prayer and seeking accountable support with a spouse and therapist.
Encouraging fruitfulness by focusing on shared interests and recreation.
Delighting in the process of rediscovering one another.
Counseling at this stage often involves helping couples to make micro-decisions that align with their commitment to becoming one. Each decision, disagreement, and reconciliation is an opportunity to strengthen the marriage. The role of Christian marriage counseling is to facilitate this process, guiding couples through the tune-up of their relationship rather than waiting for the need for triage.
Golden Years: Sustaining Love and Companionship
The golden years of marriage present a unique opportunity for couples to refocus their relationship and deepen their companionship. Couples are encouraged to rediscover each other, exploring shared interests and activities that may have been sidelined during earlier stages of life. This period is an invitation to celebrate the journey thus far and to continue growing together in love and faith.
Free yourselves to shift time, energy, and attention to other areas of your marriage that you want to grow.
Commit in prayer and accountable support with your spouse and therapist to reroute existing commitments in order to refocus and prioritize.
Encourage fruitfulness by pivoting your full attention from problems to deliberately pursuing recreation and following shared interests.
The process of befriending and discovering one another again can be a source of joy and renewal in the marriage. It is a time to rivet on God’s goodness and the blessings of a shared life, even when challenges arise.
The role of Christian marriage counseling in these years is to facilitate this renewal, helping couples to navigate any lingering issues with grace and to foster an environment where love can continue to flourish. The multi-pronged approach of counseling aims to enhance communication, establish healthier behaviors, and grow in the character of Christ, both individually and as a married couple.
The Therapeutic Alliance in Christian Marriage Counseling
Building Trust and Rapport with Couples
In the realm of Christian marriage counseling, establishing a foundation of trust is paramount. Counselors strive to create an environment where open and honest dialogue is not just encouraged but is seen as the cornerstone of the therapeutic relationship. This trust-building is a delicate process that involves consistent, non-judgmental support and a clear understanding of the couple’s unique dynamics.
The success of counseling hinges on the ability to foster a safe space where couples feel valued and heard. It is within this space that vulnerabilities can be shared and true healing can begin.
Counselors employ various strategies to build trust, including:
Demonstrating empathy and genuine concern for the couple’s well-being
Maintaining confidentiality to ensure a secure environment
Setting clear expectations and boundaries from the outset
Encouraging the couple to set and pursue collaborative goals
These efforts are designed to reassure couples that their journey towards a healthier marriage is a shared endeavor, with the counselor serving as a compassionate guide.
Counselor’s Faith and Professional Boundaries
In Christian marriage counseling, the personal faith of the counselor plays a significant role in shaping the therapeutic process. Counselors must navigate the delicate balance between their own beliefs and maintaining professional boundaries. This balance is crucial to ensure that the counseling provided is ethical, respectful, and effective for couples of varying degrees of faith and denominational backgrounds.
The therapeutic alliance is built upon mutual respect and understanding. It is essential for counselors to be transparent about their own faith perspectives while also being open to the diverse beliefs of the couples they serve.
Counselors are encouraged to engage in self-reflection and to seek supervision when faced with situations that challenge their personal beliefs or professional ethics. The following points outline key considerations for maintaining professional boundaries:
Recognize and respect the couple’s faith and spiritual practices.
Maintain a nonjudgmental stance towards couples with different beliefs.
Ensure that counseling techniques are adaptable to the couple’s faith context.
Uphold confidentiality and avoid imposing personal religious views.
Seek continual professional development to enhance cultural and religious competence.
Collaborative Goal Setting with Couples
In Christian marriage counseling, collaborative goal setting is a pivotal process that empowers couples to articulate and pursue shared objectives. The counselor facilitates a structured dialogue to help partners identify and prioritize their goals, ensuring that both voices are heard and valued. This mutual effort fosters a sense of unity and purpose within the marriage.
Understanding and managing expectations
Developing conflict resolution strategies
Enhancing communication skills
Fostering spiritual growth together
By engaging in collaborative goal setting, couples can create a roadmap for their relationship that aligns with their faith and values. This proactive approach helps to prevent potential issues from escalating and lays the groundwork for a fulfilling partnership.
The success of this endeavor relies on the couple’s commitment to the process and their willingness to embrace change. As goals are set and progress is made, the couple’s journey is marked by milestones that reflect their growth both individually and as a unit.
Evaluating the Effectiveness of Christian Marriage Counseling
Christian Counselors are effective ways for couples to fix issues
Outcome Measures and Success Criteria
Evaluating the effectiveness of Christian marriage counseling involves a systematic approach to measuring outcomes. Outcome measures are essential in determining the success of therapeutic interventions and the overall satisfaction of couples with the counseling process. These measures often include both quantitative and qualitative data, providing a comprehensive view of the counseling’s impact.
The success criteria for Christian marriage counseling are multifaceted, reflecting the complexity of marital relationships and the integration of faith-based principles.
Common outcome measures include:
Pre- and post-counseling assessments of marital satisfaction
Frequency and intensity of marital conflicts
Reports of improved communication and problem-solving skills
Levels of individual and relational spiritual growth
These criteria are not exhaustive but serve as a starting point for counselors to tailor their evaluation methods to the specific needs and goals of each couple. The systematic review of outcome studies is crucial for the continuous improvement of counseling techniques and interventions.
Longitudinal Studies on Marital Outcomes
Longitudinal studies play a crucial role in understanding the long-term effectiveness of Christian marriage counseling. These studies track couples over extended periods, providing insights into the durability of counseling outcomes and the factors contributing to sustained marital health.
Key findings from such research include:
The persistence of positive effects from counseling over time.
The influence of initial counseling success on long-term marital satisfaction.
The impact of external stressors and life changes on the stability of marriage post-counseling.
While the majority of couples report significant improvement during the counseling process, longitudinal studies are essential to assess the lasting impact of these interventions.
It is important to note that the commitment of both partners to the counseling process and their willingness to work through challenges are strong predictors of positive long-term outcomes. These studies underscore the importance of ongoing support and the need for adaptable counseling strategies to address evolving marital dynamics.
Feedback and Adaptation in Counseling Practice
In Christian marriage counseling, feedback and adaptation are critical components for the continuous improvement of counseling practices. Counselors must actively seek and incorporate feedback from couples to tailor interventions that address the unique dynamics of each relationship. This iterative process often involves the following steps:
Gathering feedback through structured sessions and questionnaires.
Analyzing the feedback to identify patterns and areas for improvement.
Adapting counseling techniques to better meet the needs of the couple.
Implementing changes and monitoring their impact on the counseling process.
The counselor’s willingness to adapt and evolve their approach is essential for fostering a therapeutic environment conducive to growth and healing.
Evaluating the effectiveness of these adaptations requires a systematic approach. Counselors may use a variety of outcome measures to assess the success of their interventions. A succinct representation of such measures could include:
Outcome Measure
Description
Marital Satisfaction
Assessing the overall contentment within the marriage.
Communication Quality
Evaluating improvements in dialogue and understanding.
Conflict Resolution
Measuring the effectiveness of strategies for resolving disputes.
Emotional Intimacy
Gauging the depth of emotional connection between spouses.
By continuously refining their practice through feedback and adaptation, Christian marriage counselors can better serve couples and contribute to the long-term health of Christian marriages.
Ethical Considerations in Christian Marriage Counseling
Christian Counselors look to protect the vow of the marriage and help each both husband and wife navigate but still maintains all ethical standards in service
Confidentiality and Privacy Concerns
In Christian marriage counseling, the sanctity of confidentiality is paramount. Counselors must ensure that all communications and records are kept private, adhering to both ethical standards and legal requirements such as HIPAA. The complexity of maintaining confidentiality increases with the use of online therapy platforms, which necessitates a thorough understanding of their privacy policies.
Counselors should verify that online therapy providers are HIPAA-compliant.
It is crucial to understand if any private information is shared with third parties.
Counselors must be aware of the ethical concerns raised by the FTC regarding user health information.
The foundation of effective counseling is built on trust, which is fortified by the assurance of strict confidentiality between counselor and counselee.
Furthermore, counselors must be competent and affirming of all clients, including those from the LGBTQIA+ community, and should consult the company’s statement of faith or code of ethics. This ensures that services are inclusive and respectful of diverse beliefs and orientations. The absence of a Statement of Faith on a counseling platform can lead to ambiguity regarding the standards to which therapists adhere, impacting the trust and openness necessary for successful counseling.
Navigating Interfaith Couple Dynamics
In Christian marriage counseling, addressing the unique challenges that arise in interfaith marriages is crucial for fostering a harmonious relationship. Counselors must be adept at facilitating a respectful dialogue between partners of different faith backgrounds. This involves recognizing and honoring each individual’s beliefs while finding common ground for the couple’s shared values and goals.
Understand and respect each partner’s faith traditions.
Identify shared values that transcend religious differences.
Develop communication strategies that avoid religious conflict.
Encourage mutual support for each partner’s spiritual growth.
In interfaith dynamics, the emphasis is on creating a space where both partners feel heard and valued, without compromising their individual faith identities. The goal is to build a foundation of respect and empathy that can sustain the marriage through the complexities of differing beliefs.
Counselors also play a key role in helping couples navigate the practical aspects of interfaith marriage, such as holiday celebrations, dietary restrictions, and raising children. It is essential for the counselor to remain neutral and supportive, guiding the couple towards solutions that honor both faiths and promote unity within the marriage.
Professional Standards and Pastoral Care
In the realm of Christian marriage counseling, adherence to professional standards is paramount, ensuring that the care provided is ethical, respectful, and in line with both psychological best practices and theological principles. Counselors must balance their pastoral responsibilities with their role as mental health professionals, often navigating complex situations that require wisdom and discernment.
Counselors are expected to maintain confidentiality and uphold privacy, creating a safe space for couples to explore sensitive issues.
They must be well-versed in both secular counseling techniques and spiritual guidance, integrating these approaches seamlessly.
Ongoing education and supervision are crucial for counselors to stay informed about the latest developments in both fields.
It is essential for Christian marriage counselors to foster an environment where both partners feel heard and respected, promoting healing and growth within the marital relationship.
Pastors and counselors alike are called to be involved in the spiritual labors necessary for the welfare of couples facing marital challenges. This dual role of spiritual guide and professional counselor underscores the unique nature of Christian marriage counseling.
Resources and Support Systems for Christian Couples
Church-Based Marriage Programs
Church-based marriage programs serve as a vital resource for couples seeking to strengthen their marital bonds within a faith context. These programs often provide a comprehensive approach to marriage preparation and enrichment, addressing various aspects of marital life from a Christian perspective.
Premarital workshops and seminars
Marriage enrichment retreats
Support groups for married couples
Mentorship programs pairing newlyweds with experienced couples
Churches may offer a range of services, from premarital counseling sessions that lay the groundwork for a strong marital foundation to ongoing support for couples at different stages of their marriage. The communal aspect of these programs fosters a sense of accountability and shared growth among participants.
The effectiveness of church-based marriage programs lies in their ability to integrate faith principles with practical relationship skills, creating a unique support system for couples.
Evaluating the impact of these programs, many couples report increased communication, deeper understanding of marital roles, and a strengthened spiritual connection. The table below summarizes common outcomes reported by participants in church-based marriage programs:
Outcome
Percentage of Couples Reporting Improvement
Communication
75%
Conflict Resolution
65%
Marital Satisfaction
80%
Spiritual Intimacy
70%
These statistics highlight the potential benefits of church-based initiatives in fostering healthy, resilient Christian marriages.
Christian Marriage Literature and Media
The landscape of Christian marriage literature and media is rich with resources designed to support couples in their marital journey. From books and blogs to podcasts and videos, these tools offer a wealth of knowledge and practical advice grounded in Christian principles.
One standout title is Marriage – Focus on the Family, which emphasizes the importance of connecting emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife. Techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication are central to this resource, helping couples to build a resilient and fulfilling relationship.
In addition to individual titles, there are comprehensive lists that curate the best Christian marriage resources. For example, I Believe’s “25 Best Christian Marriage Resources to Help Your Marriage Thrive” includes a variety of book recommendations, blogs, podcasts, and workbooks. These resources are not only informative but also actionable, encouraging couples to engage actively in strengthening their marriage.
The Christian purpose of marriage is multifaceted, encompassing companionship, mutual support, and spiritual unity. Resources in Christian marriage literature and media serve to reinforce these foundational elements, guiding couples towards a marriage that reflects God’s design.
Community Support and Accountability
In the realm of Christian marriage counseling, community support plays a pivotal role in reinforcing the values and practices encouraged within the counseling sessions. Community accountability is essential for couples as they navigate the complexities of marital life. It provides a system of support that extends beyond the therapist’s office, offering a network of individuals who can offer guidance, encouragement, and practical help.
Peer support from fellow Christians
Support for issues like debt, addiction, stress, and trauma
Available 24/7
Free service
However, it is important to recognize that while community support can be invaluable, it is not a substitute for professional therapy. The community’s role is to complement the work done in counseling by providing a consistent and caring environment for accountability and growth.
The commitment to community support involves meeting the recurring needs of those around you, including physical provision, emotional stability, and spiritual guidance. This commitment underscores the importance of a supportive network in fostering healthy marriages.
While the benefits of community support are numerous, it is also crucial to be aware of its limitations. For instance, peers may not have formal training in counseling, and the support offered might be limited to messaging or informal conversations. Therefore, the integration of community support with professional counseling services is recommended to achieve the best outcomes for couples seeking help.
Conclusion
Marriage is sacred and deserves to be preserved. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification.
In summary, Christian marriage counseling serves as a vital resource for couples at any stage of their relationship, offering a unique blend of therapeutic techniques and biblical wisdom. It provides a space for couples to navigate the complexities of marriage with guidance that aligns with their faith values. Whether addressing current issues or preparing for future challenges, counseling can be a proactive step towards a stronger, more unified partnership. The integration of faith and counseling not only supports the individual growth of each partner but also fosters the collective journey of ‘two becoming one.’ As couples in Frisco and beyond seek to honor their vows and build resilient marriages, Christian marriage counseling stands as a beacon of hope, offering tools and insights for a thriving marital bond.
The family is the cellular society. It forms the bedrock of society and reflects the norms of that society. It is key to preserve marriage and its critical role in creating love, trust and morality within the family unit. Christian Counselors and pastors play a key role in preserving this union in the secular storm of divorce. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Christian marriage counseling?
Christian marriage counseling is a process that integrates therapeutic methods with biblical truth to support couples in their marital journey. It addresses issues and conflicts that arise, offering guidance based on Christian principles and psychological understanding.
Can Christian marriage counseling help during different stages of marriage?
Yes, Christian marriage counseling is beneficial for couples at any stage of marriage, from newlyweds to those married for decades. It provides both crisis intervention and regular maintenance for a healthy marital relationship.
Do I need to be Christian to benefit from Christian marriage counseling?
No, individuals of all faith backgrounds can benefit from Christian marriage counseling, as it focuses on universal relationship issues, though it is grounded in Christian beliefs and values.
What if my partner isn’t a Christian, can we still go to Christian marriage counseling?
Yes, Christian marriage counseling is open to couples regardless of individual faiths. Counselors can work with both partners to ensure that the counseling process is respectful and beneficial to both.
Are there resources available to support Christian marriage counseling?
There are numerous resources available, including books, blogs, podcasts, and workbooks that are designed to support Christian marriages through counseling and self-help methods.
What role does faith play in Christian marriage counseling?
Faith plays a significant role in Christian marriage counseling by informing the principles and guidance provided. However, the level to which it is explicitly discussed can be tailored to the comfort level of the couple.
How does Christian marriage counseling integrate theology and psychology?
Christian marriage counseling combines psychological expertise with biblical wisdom to address the complex dynamics of marital relationships, offering a holistic approach to counseling.
Is Christian marriage counseling effective in dealing with infidelity and other serious issues?
Christian marriage counseling can be effective in addressing serious issues such as infidelity. It often includes processes for forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration, grounded in Christian teachings.
Additional Resources
Klein, E. (2016). “The Unraveling of a Christian Marriage: 3 Common Questions”. CrossWalk. Access here
Gresh, D. (2017). “HOW TO GET LOST IN GOD’S LOVE AND SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE”. Focus on the Family. Access here
Idleman, E. (2023). “10 Bible Verses to Heal and Restore a Troubled Marriage”, CrossWalk. Access here
Mailhot, J. (2019). “What Is Biblical Marriage? Foundations, Definition, and Principles”. Logos. Access here
Grief and loss strike an imbalance in life. During the adjustment process, numerous complications can occur that can veer a person off course in adjustment. Sometimes Grief Counseling and simple talk can help but other times more powerful forms of counseling are required via licensed counselors with an expertise in grief counseling. In some cases, therapy involves looking solely at the past and the emotional aspect via Psychodynamic Approach, sometimes professionals utilize a more rational approach through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and in some cases, professionals utilize a combination.
CBT helps identify distorted thinking of an event and help the person reframe those thoughts and maladaptive behaviors
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT has a high success rate in helping complicated and dysfunctional grievers find understanding and meaning in life through examination of the loss and recognition of unhealthy feelings, irrational thoughts and imbalanced behaviors. It involves intense reflection, grief work and homework, and application to help the person reframe distorted views due to complicated grief or even cases of depression. Originally utilized by Aaron Beck (1967), it looked to challenge distorted feelings and help the person find healing through rational re-direction. In essence, CBT recognizes the Cognitive Triangle of thought, behavior and emotion. Each aspect of human existence affects the other. Thoughts can positively or negatively affect behavior, behavior can affect emotion and emotion can affect thought. If any of these are imbalanced, it can create a distortion itself.
Albert Ellis, (1957) was a core contributor to Beck’s thought. Ellis was discouraged by the limitations of psychoanalysis and limitations of only becoming aware of an emotion but wanted tools to cognitively help the person move forward. Ellis drafted the ABC Model which identified a triggering or Activating event with a belief that in turn caused a consequence. An activating event could be labeled as any traumatic event or loss that in turn was interpreted by the person. In complications of grieving, the interpretation or belief regarding the event many times caused negative consequences, instead of the event itself. The purpose of the therapy was to revisit the event, understand it and correlate proper consequences from the objective nature of the event instead of subjective beliefs or faulty conclusions. Hence irrational, unhealthy, and counter productive thinking and new distorted behaviors from an event are key elements within complications of grieving. CBT looks to challenge those ways of thinking and behaviors with an indepth cognitive, intellectual and rational discussion to help correct the emotions and behaviors via better thinking or reframing.
Cognitive Distortions
Individuals who suffer from depression or complications in grieving generally have a faulty cognitive view of reality. Due to the event, loss, or trauma, there is a type of worldview that haunts them and adversely affects their emotional and behavioral response to life. For those suffering from depression or complicated loss, many have a variety of distorted views which include:
All-or-nothing thinking: Viewing situations in binary terms, without considering nuance.
Catastrophizing: Anticipating the most adverse outcomes without empirical justification.
Mind Reading: Presuming to understand others’ thoughts without direct evidence.
Emotional reasoning: Basing conclusions on emotions rather than objective data.
Labeling: Characterizing oneself or others based on a singular trait or event.
Personalization: Attributing external events to oneself without a clear causal line
McCleod. S. (2023). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Types, Techniques, Uses. Simple Psychology. Access here
As McCleod points out, many of these distortions are assumptions that usually are tied to lower self image or negative self schemas. These negative self schemas play a key role in the illogical thinking and ideals of a depressed person
Cognitive Triad and Cognitive Distortions
Beck used the example of the Cognitive Triad that illustrated three ideals of self, the world, and the future. In all cases of depressed individuals, the self image of the person was negative, the ideal that the world hated them was present and that the future possessed no future blessings. Beck theorized that this triad stemmed from a negative schema in life that originated from a negative life event that was never processed properly. This in turn led to a complication in grieving or adjusting. From these events, a series of even more cognitive distortions emerged within the depressed person in how they viewed life itself.
Among the many included magnification of bad events or minimization of good events, over personalization of others emotions as if they are correlated with oneself, and improper correlation of negative causal events with oneself (select abstraction). As one can imagine, a depressed person is trapped not only with emotional imbalance but is also haunted daily with these negative cognitive sequences
CBT Process
CBT challenges these thoughts. It looks for one to reframe them and see things in different lights. It looks to gain a better understanding of these thoughts and behaviors and incorporate better problem solving ways to deal with them. This reframing involves first a serious discussion and revisiting of the activating event and understanding it more objectively. Sometimes the therapist will utilize exposure therapy with the patient, asking them to discuss and think about the past incident. For more traumatic or painful memories, this takes time and over sessions, longer exposure occurs. Sometimes, this is through direct memory or pretending to be a bystander watching the past. This challenges the person to face one’s past, fears and trauma and move forward.
Following analysis, one is asked to discuss thoughts and emotions associated with the event. This is where illogical and damaging thoughts and behaviors can identified and weeded out. The patient is given alternative ways of thinking and reframing thoughts about the event, as well as ways to better cope with daily issues. This is key in helping the individual. The therapist not only unroots the cognitive distortion but also gives the patient the psychological and mental tools necessary to alter negative thoughts and behaviors in association with the event. Sometimes, the therapist and patient can role play a future event to help the patient better prepare for interaction. Other tools include meditation and ways to calm oneself when a potential social trigger presents itself that can challenge the new reframing.
CBT gives the patient the opportunity to also be their own therapist. To work through issues, apply skills and complete homework assignments.
It is essential in CBT to identify and recognize the distorted thought or maladaptive coping in response to the event and give the person the tools necessary to properly understand the issue and reframe it for healing purposes. CBT usually takes 20 sessions or so to finally uproot the issue and help reframe and correct distorted thinking.
Limits of CBT
While CBT is successfully, it can have limitations. It is based primarily upon the cognitive thought process and looks to correct maladaptive coping and distorted thoughts to help the person find balance, but other therapies, such as the Psychodynamic Approach Looks at the emotional response stemming from the past event and how that event negatively affects present day emotions. The Freudian Psychodynamic Approach finds the repressed feelings and how to cope with those feelings. If utilized in combination with cognitive, I feel both approaches integrated can help the person have a more holistic and complete person healing process. The other limitation of CBT is if solely utilized as talk, it does not address the chemical imbalance within the brain and neurotransmitters. Sometimes, serotonin balance is necessary and depression medications are necessary to help a person find new balance and alter thought process.
Hence, a multi faceted approach is sometimes necessary in treating a person, not merely an intellectual approach. This does not mean CBT is not highly effective. It is extremely useful tool in helping individuals reframe negative thoughts and behaviors due to an incident and helping them correct those issues.
Conclusion
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals
CBT and other therapies combined are excellent ways to help correct complications in grieving stemming from distorted thinking and helping the individual from an intellectual standpoint reframe and understand the loss in a logical way void of false images. It is a heavy talk based therapy that asks one to revisit the past, rethink and reframe it, and correct distorted thoughts and behaviors. It sometimes requires additional therapies with it to help others overcome depression or complications in the grieving process but overall is very successful. This type of therapy or any grief therapy is reserved for licensed therapists. Pastoral grief counselors who are not licensed need to refer more serious cases of grief and loss to these types of licensed counselors.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification. The program is open to both licensed and unlicensed Human Service professionals and offers an online and independent program that leads to a four year certification.
Additional Resources
“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)”. Cleveland Clinic. Access here
“What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?”. (2017). Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. APA. Access here
Raypole, C. & Marcin, A. (2023). “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: What Is It and How Does It Work?”. Healthline. Access here
“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” Psychology Today. Access here
