Spirituality is usually a topic many secular counselors like to avoid but it is an inherent part of many individual’s lives and plays an even larger role in the grieving process. Spirituality generally is good for grieving but sometimes it can present issues that complicate grieving. Grief Counselors need to be aware of how spirituality can also complicate the grieving process and how to help individuals grieve in a healthy way. This video takes a closer look at these issues
Spirituality can affect the grieving process. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year Grief Counseling Certification
Multicultural counseling competency is important in counseling. Counselors need to be diverse in understanding how culture, race , creed, age and gender play a role in how a client will respond to them. Counselors need to be also aware of their own internal biases. With good cultural understanding, the counseling relationship can become enhanced and help the client heal and grow. Please review the video above to learn more about multicultural counseling,
It is important to have a strong grasp of multicultural counseling skills when helping clients from diverse backgrounds. Please also review AIHCP’s many behavioral health certification programs
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification, as well as its numerous behavioral health certifications in Christian Counseling, Spiritual Counseling, Anger Management, Crisis Intervention and Stress Management, as well as Life Coaching, ADHD Consulting and Meditation Instructor.
Multicultural proficiency exists not only in race, age, gender and culture, but also within the confines of religion and spirituality. Counselors working in grief or merely spirituality need to be well versed in the multitude of spiritual beliefs that may exist within a particular person or target population. In many cases, religion and spirituality can play a key role in the grieving process, as well as emotional and mental outlooks. Many individuals tied to some world view are better able to find meaning in loss and religion and spirituality can be a great tool in helping clients find resolution and peace. Religion and spirituality can also sometimes be a double-edged sword and also cause conflict and stress with outcomes and faith. Regardless, counselors need to be able to understand the importance of faith, religion and spirituality in a client’s life because whether a counselor has a particular belief or any belief at all does not matter when it comes to helping a person who may.
Role of Faith
Clients are diverse in spirituality and faith and these aspects play key roles in multicultural counseling
Many secular counselors trained solely within the confines of modern psychology and behavioral studies especially from numerous schools of Freud may be hostile to faith and see faith as a neurosis to the mind (Pedersen, 2018, p. 480). Despite this, the value of the religious experience, whether believed by the counselor or not, is an important aspect of the wholeness of the person and the person’s emotional well being. Even William James understood the importance of the religious experience within the mind, and other prominent humanist psychologists such as Carl Rogers and Victor Frankl understood the value of spirituality for a person (Pedersen, 2018. p. 480). Modern counseling demands a counselor’s proficiency with multicultural issues such as spirituality, faith or religion.
Faith is a universal human experience that spans across all of humanity. Spiritual and religious beliefs play a key role in all cultures in every aspect of health, life and death (Pedersen, 2018, p. 478). While within the United States there has been a drop in religious and church attendance, this decline is supplemented in other areas with individual spiritual practices. Even said, the dominant culture within the United States still holds true to a Judeo-Christian background that reflects itself in cultural norms even for some of the most anti-religious people. In the United States alone, a 2007 Gallup poll listed that 86 percent of Americans believe in God and another 55 percent still pointed out that religion is still important to them (Pedersen, 2018, p.478). Hence it is important not to dismiss the importance of faith and religion in counseling.
Yet even within this innate spiritual pursuit, there still remains a high level of diversity within religious individuals. The United States exists in itself as a melting pot of creeds. Christianity is far from monolithic but a diverse population of Catholics, Orthodox and various Protestant denominations which can range from very structured to very charismatic and individual. Beyond Christianity, exists numerous faiths not from the dominant culture, including Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism and various smaller religious sects, as well as pantheistic creeds. If one then also considers some individuals are more spiritual than religious and follow a myriad of concepts, then one can find almost any combination of spirituality that may exist within a client. Some may be more dogmatic and religious, while others may be more spiritual and less defining, or one may be a combination of the two.
Within this diversity of faith also comes various different paths of thought. Spirituality, according to Pedersen, is a commitment to choose a context to understand and act within one’s relationships with all that is, whether within confines of person and creator, or between community, or nature itself. It is an awareness of something more in this world. It includes values that guide one’s meaning of life, sense of mission and how to help others for a better world (Pederson, 2018, p. 480). Many individuals share these similar views but express them in multiple different ways. In addition, religion, the social and dogmatic mechanism of the person provides the means and methods within the religious group (Pedersen, 2018. p. 480). In this day and age, one constantly hears the term “I am spiritual but not religious”. This points to this less dogmatic binding life style. Within these differences alone exist a multitude of different spiritual as well as religious ideals about God as a being, a source of being, or an infusion and connection within all humanity. A transcendent God reflects to a person a very ordered moral code of not only obedience but also justice. In more immanence theology, God exists literally within all and plays a part in all. This does not dismiss a moral code but it is far less dogmatic and refers more to a balance of life. These different theological concepts of God as one, many, transcendent or immanent, all play key roles in how a person morally acts and responds to many issues in life.
Spirituality in Counseling
In settings where Spiritual Counseling or Christian Counseling, or Spiritual Direction is not expected, such as within pastoral settings, one may seem from a professional or secular view anxious about discussing faith and religion. In the secular and professional world, religion is a question that is usually best left avoided. When asked to discuss religion or spirituality, many feel as if they may offend others, or be judged, or that faith is personal, or that one seems less academic (Pedersen, 2018, p. 478). The reality is faith plays a key role in a person’s life and hence plays a key role in healing, coping, finding meaning in loss, and facing adversity. Counselors, whether religious, atheistic or agnostic, should not dismiss the valuable part of the client to help one find healing. In fact counselors, like in all multicultural proficiencies, should take into account their own religious background and potential biases before helping someone of a different spiritual or religious background.
In addition, the counselor should attempt to help guide the client by understanding the client’s religious and spiritual background. Within the first interview, spiritual questions should be an important element of understanding the client. A spiritual genogram should be conducted which looks to examine religious and spiritual family history to analyze any cross section impacts upon the mind of the person (Pedersen, 2018, p,489). In addition, the client should be asked about questions regarding identification with religious groups, one’s perception of God, or special spiritual and religious beliefs one may hold. In addition, the counselor should attempt to discover if any life styles or actions may contradict one’s moral code and way of operating. Counselors can also ask what gives life meaning, the importance of one’s faith in life and healing, as well how the religious community can be helpful in one’s healing. Finally, counselors should ask if clients wish to address these spiritual issues moving forward (Pedersen, 2018, p. 488).
Understanding how spirituality plays a role in a client’s emotional health is critical in spiritual counseling
Counselors working with particular religious groups, especially those of a smaller religious community, such as Native Americans, or Asian Americans, may find the need to address healing and spirituality from the client’s perspective by working with local religious authorities within that group. If the client wishes, a joint healing model can be placed into action with conjunction with the client’s spiritual community.
Sometimes, religion can be a powerful anchor of meaning for the individual but sometimes, faith can also cause issues within a person’s life. When tragedy strikes, individuals may question their faith and lash out against God. They will doubt their faith and question meaning itself. Some may reject faith, others will turn to it more. Some may see their faith as a contract if left unfulfilled by God, they may terminate, while others may find God as a source of strength and covenant in suffering. Others within other dogmatic and strict denominations, may see faith as a block to their expression and look to free oneself from the morality the faith of one’s parents taught oneself. Others on the other hand, may feel extreme guilt if their moral actions contradict the morality of faith and the teachings of it. Many LGBTQ individuals who are spiritual and wish to hold to their faith can find one of these two reactions within Christianity, where their faith either torments and guilts them regarding life style or pushes them into total rejection of it or at least adjustment of their personal moral paradigm. Fukuyama in the Pederson text rightfully points out that religion and spirituality can be functional or dysfunctional when it comes finding solutions (2018, P. 489). This is very important for the counselor to identify when helping someone through moral issues, suicide, or other social issues that affect religious individuals. Is the spirituality properly function to help the person find meaning, or is it instead a sick faith that is tormenting and guilting the individual to a point of pathology? Spiritual Directors work with others in a pastoral capacity and help use healthy spirituality to guide those who seek guidance, but sometimes, they even need to identify spiritual pathology that corrupts. Scruples, guilt, torment, anger towards God, or unhealthy compliance to the Will of God as a way to escape the situation, are all examples of when spirituality can become dysfunctional. Unlike spiritual directors, counselors however are called not to give moral direction or dictate what moral code is right but instead to determine if spirituality is healthy or unhealthy in a particular situation and help the client heal.
Conclusion
Spirituality and religion are not opiates of the people. They are important elements of what it means to be human. When properly in tune, spirituality and religion can play key roles in helping individuals find meaning and guidance. However, when spirituality becomes dysfunctional it can also become a problem for the person’s ability to cope or heal. Since spirituality and religion is important, counselors need to be culturally aware of faith and religion and the target population they are working with. Regardless of the counselors own beliefs or lack thereof, counselors need to respect spirituality and discuss it in a healthy and non biased way. Spirituality and faith are a key aspect of understanding the client and is a key element of multicultural counseling. Utilizing it properly in counseling can be a great benefit, but one must like in all cultural aspects understand that diversity exists within spiritual and religious persons and not every treatment or intervention serves one best over the other. Individuals may be spiritual but not religious, or a combination, or have a myriad of different religious beliefs within their family history. These all play unique roles in forming the person before the counselor. These religious and spiritual beliefs will also play a key role in how many clients see the world, react to it and heal from it.
Please also review AIHCP’s Spiritual Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals
Please also review AIHCP’s Spiritual Counseling Certification as well as AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification. The Spiritual Counseling Certification represents a more broad spirituality that encompasses human experience with spirituality without any one dominant religious paradigm, while the Christian Counseling Certification presents a biblical and Christian perspective from multiple Christian communities. Both programs are integrative in nature and present spirituality with psychology. The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Spiritual or Christian Counseling. The programs accept Human Service professionals, those in ministry, licensed counselors, as well as pastoral counselors, and those who work in healthcare.
Reference
Pedersen, P. et. al (2018). “Counseling Across Cultures”. (7th). Sage
Additional Resources
Bartley, J. & Cashwell, C. (2014). “Integrating Religion and Spirituality into Counseling”. Access here
Hull. C. et al. (2016). “Developing Spiritual Competencies in Counseling: A Guide for Supervisors”. Wiley. Online Library. Access here
Aten, J. (2020). “The Importance of Spirituality in Therapy”. Psychology Today. Access here
Richards, P. S., & Barkham, M. (2022). Enhancing the evidence base for spiritually integrated psychotherapies: Progressing the paradigm of practice-based evidence.Psychotherapy, 59(3), 303–306. Access here
Counselors study psychology, various therapies and devote themselves to understanding the science of the mind and behavior, but if the counselor is unable to communicate and attend the client properly, then the knowledge is useless. Counseling hence is also an art. Counselors must possess interpersonal skills that allow them to help their clients. Various micro skills help the counselor attend the client. Basic fundamentals of attending include empathetic listening, observation skills, and appropriate responses. This forms the foundation of the counselor and client relationship and allows therapy to flourish.
Attending the client refers to basic skills involving listening and observing. Please also review AIHCP’s behavioral health certifications, as well as AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Please also review AIHCP’s numerous behavioral health and healthcare certifications in Grief Counseling, Crisis Counseling, Christian Counseling, Spiritual Counseling, Anger Management, Life Coaching and Stress Management. The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.
Carl Rogers, the famous psychologist and counselor, in the 1950s presented a far different approach than past Freudian psychological views that emphasized psycho-analysis and subconscious treatments. Like others, he wanted to approach counseling and the patient differently. He emphasized a more Humanistic approach that involved patient or client-centered therapies that addressed the feelings that existed now within the client. In an earlier blog, AIHCP discusses in a broader stroke the Humanistic approach to grief and counseling, but in this short blog, we will instead focus more solely on Rogerian concepts in helping individuals express feelings, in particular feelings associated with depression. Please also review AIHCP’s numerous counseling certifications for Human Service professionals.
Rogerian Theory
While Cognitive Behavioral Therapy looks to restructure and reframe illogical and negative emotional schemas with healthy and positive thoughts to alter behavior, Rogerian approaches look to address the the feelings of the client him/herself with unconditional love, genuineness, empathy and support. It looks to transform and strengthen the person. The term “client” is utilized instead of “patient” to remove stigmas that the person is sick or ill but merely needs love and guidance for life altering change. The counselor guides the client but the client ultimately has more control in the sessions and is able to express and discuss his/her feelings within a far less structured environment. Narrative is key. The counselor does not look to confront, but to listen.
Rogerian approaches in counseling are client centered and focuses in an empathetic and non-judgmental way the feelings of the client. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Roger’s goal was to help the client reach self-actualization of what the person can become through a process of helping the client see him/herself as he/she is, wishes to be and how to become. Within this, a client learns to discover one’s self worth. The counselor also helps the client distinguish between self image and real image and how to reach the ideal image. When dealing with many individuals suffering with depression, self worth is something that is greatly damaged. Many depressed individuals feel they have very little worth or value. Whether this is due to something that occurred or merely depression without correlation to direct loss, the person feels a blanket of darkness over him/herself. Allowing the client to express these emotions, both positive and negative are key in Rogerian approaches. The counselor listens to these concerns with congruence and empathy, allowing the client to express and discuss the sadness and low self worth. The counselor helps the client direct the session into accurately describing how he/she feels and also views oneself. Many who are depressed also possess a very low self image. In many cases, this self image is not properly balanced with reality. Various distortions will emerge that are tied to the person’s feelings. It is not necessarily the role of the Rogerian approach to reframe these immediate concerns as in CBT, but to help the client understand the feelings and empathetically listen and restate these feelings to help the client re-discover where this false self image and true image lie. The counselor’s ultimate goal is help the client find a genuine understanding of his/her real self despite feelings. The counselor then looks to help the client find the ideal self. In this way, one’s self image and ideal self can become congruent and tied together.
Once congruence is established where the depressed individual is able to find self image and ideal image as a true reality, Rogers speaks of the possibility of self actualization where the person is able to thrive and exist again in an emotionally healthy way. Rogers listed five particular qualities of a fully functioning person who has tied self image and ideal together via self actualization. First, he pointed out that the person is open again to new experiences. Many depressed individuals are afraid to move on or seek out new things. A healthy functioning individual is able to seek out and find new meanings through new experiences. Second, Rogers spoke of existential living, where the person lives in the present and is able to experience the present in new fresh ways without prejudice or fear of the past. Many times, depressed individuals cannot untie themselves from the past and are unable to experience the present. Third, Rogers remarked that those who are functioning at a healthy level trust their feelings. Individuals are able to make decisions with certitude without doubt and not second guess oneself. Depressed individuals usually labor with decisions and fear what others may think or if they may fail. Fourth, Rogers pointed out that individuals should be creative without fear and able to move forward and share thoughts and ideas without fear of fallout from others. Depressed individuals lack the confidence to create or stand out. Finally, Rogers illustrated the idea of a fulfilled life where an individual is able to live life to its fullest. The person is able to find satisfaction in decisions, goals and challenges. Depressed individuals are unable to find joy in little things, much less have the energy for goals or the ability to face challenges.
These five qualities of a fully functional person are critical to overcoming the depressed state. When individuals are able to express these points within life, then they are again functional and free of the dark grip of depression. We will now in the next half of the blog look at how to implement Rogerian concepts and put them into practice. This will involve reviewing and understanding the basics of client-centered attending and responding skills.
Rogerian Practice
It is once congruence occurs and emotions are faced that the client is able to reach this type of fulfillment. The long process of helping the client discover this congruence and self-actualization is the key . While those who study the Rogerian approach understand the theory, it is the practical approach from person to person that is key.
Attending and Responding Skills are imperative in Rogerian Counseling. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The counselor within the Rogerian approach utilizes a variety of micro counseling skills discussed in previous AIHCP blogs. Within Rogerian practice, basic attending skills are critical in helping the client discuss emotions and properly relate those emotions back. The counselor attends the client with empathetic listening. Rogers believed that genuine and empathetic listening was the first key in learning the story of the client. This involved active and intense focus on the client. The counselor should not only listen but show intense interest via eye contact, gestures, and physical positioning. In regards to response, the counselor looks not to judge the feelings of the client, but instead to restate or paraphrase them to the client. This helps the client not only understand that the counselor is listening but also to hear these feelings out loud. Sometimes, speaking about negative feelings also needs hearing them back to begin to decipher the false reality of those negative feelings. In essence, the empathetic approach of active listening and responding creates not only trust between client and counselor but also creates a safe zone where the client is able to fully express inner feelings. The counselor helps create this environment through multiple sessions and active and empathetic support for the client. The client feels he/she exists in a safe zone where no judgement or confrontation exists. It allows the client to take center stage and control and with the help of the counselor, unravel the negative emotions and find the real and possible ideal self that depression has hidden from the client. Rogers refers to this type of empathetic environment as one of unconditional love. It is place where feelings are not questioned or given positive or negative value, but only spoken about and understood within the context of the session. The counselor helps foster this environment because the counselor is not judging or giving qualitive value to the feelings. Instead the counselor is allowing the client to direct and discover value to the feelings.
Hence, how the counselor presents him/herself, listens, responds and creates a safe environment is critical to the success of Rogerian approaches. While the practice itself takes more time, seems unstructured, and is more about the now of emotion, it does have success with many patients facing depression and negative emotions. Obviously, sometimes supplemental approaches may be need introduced, as well as pharmaceutical remedies when issues beyond behavior exist such as neurological or hormonal, but overall, Rogerian approaches are very common place in counseling. The humanistic approach is very classical and non evasive for many individuals with already low self esteem issues that feel an abundance of negative emotions.
Those facing loss and depression need an empathetic ear and voice to help them heal. The emotional release and discussion of issues is a key part of grief healing. Through these discussions and release of emotions, the client can begin much of the grief work required that goes through the various emotional stages of denial, emotion, anger, and bargaining. The grief counselor utilizing Rogerian approaches will be able to listen as the person works through his/her grief and also notate any maladaptive emotions such as guilt that may appear. Through a non judgement zone, the counselor will be able to help the person come to grips with these emotions and help the person self-actualize beyond the loss or depression and find new hope.
Conclusion
Rogers client-centered care in the 1950s revolutionized counseling and forever changed how counselors approached clients. Humanistic approaches are in many ways the classical counseling sessions that individuals imagine where one speaks of feelings and the counselor paraphrases and asks how this makes one feel? It directly and openly deals with emotion without judgement and with complete empathy. This is a very important aspect to consider when dealing with depressed populations who may not be ready to deal with confrontations in counseling or face fast changes. Instead, the Rogerian approach gives the client control to discuss feelings and work them out. It slowly helps the client sort out negative feelings and replace them with positive vibes. The key is to help the client move forward in a productive and healthy life style that is congruent and true to self.
The counselor utilizes different micro counseling skills. The counselor refrains from direct reframing, or empathetic confrontations that may upset the client. Instead the counselor becomes more passive in direction and gently moves the client through good attending and responding skills that create a safe and no judgement zone. Depressed individuals, especially, need this type of environment to regain their voice and ability to move forward.
Please also review AIHCP’s numerous Human Service related certifications in counseling ranging from just not grief but also from stress to anger and crisis to spiritual counseling
Ultimately, as counseling continues, different techniques may need added to fit particular clients, or maybe even the necessity of medication, but overall, the initial Rogerian approaches will help the client feel safe and help form a strong bond between counselor and client.
If you would like to learn more about grief counseling, then please review the American Academy of Grief Counseling’s certification program in Grief Counseling. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a grief counselor. AIHCP certified both pastoral counselors as well as clinical counselors. Bear in mind, certified grief counselors who are not licensed or clinical do face restrictions in what therapies they may utilize as well as treating complicated versions of grief that lead down trajectories that include depression.
AIHCP also offers a broad range of other Human Service counseling certifications that revolve around Anger Management, Crisis Intervention, Stress Management and both Spiritual Counseling and Christian Counseling.
References and Additional Resources
Mcleod, S. (2024). “Carl Rogers Humanistic Theory And Contribution To Psychology”. Simple Psychology. Access here
Bottaro, A. (2024). “Everything to Know About Person-Centered Therapy”. Very Well Health. Access here
Joseph, S. (2015). “Carl Rogers’ Person-Centered Approach”. Psychology Today. Access here
Hopper, E. (2018). “An Introduction to Rogerian Therapy”. Thoughtco. Access here
Miller, K. (2019). “Carl Rogers’s Actualizing Tendency: Your Ultimate Guide”. Positive Psychology. Access here
Counseling is about the person and the person’s story. Like so many things in life, everything is not usually black and white. There are a variety of shades of color from multiple perspectives in life that can make the story of the client incomplete. For starters, the client has his/her own subjective experience with the events within the story. The unique experience of the client may very well be true from the client’s point of view due to the subjective factors and information available. In addition, the client may possess a variety of blinders to certain truths that may be painful to accept or realize. In other cases, the client may have various personality disorders that completely distort the reality of the events. Whether purposeful or not, these distortions can cause larger issues in the healing, changing and transformational process.
Counselor help clients tell their story but also help them see the real story and how to find the right story
Throughout the blogs on counseling techniques, we have discussed numerous skills a counselor must utilize to help a client find change. This blog will bring many of these skills together in helping forge the client’s initial story into the real and right story (Egan, 2019, p. 270). Egan guides the counselor in addressing the story told, but also how to help push the client forward into telling the real and right story. This helps the client enter into a state of self discovery so that as the story progresses, the client not only heals but also changes and transforms with the reality of the story.
Of course, as a counselor, one cannot make a client change, nor can a counselor sometimes ruthlessly correct or tell a client he/she is wrong. The skills of counseling help the counselor with empathy and patience, gently nudge and guide the client to truth and help the client choose to pursue that truth. This stems first by forming a strong relationship of trust with the client. It involves basic attending skills of empathetic listening, observing and responding to help understand the client and better address the issues. Through empathetic listening and excellent observations, one can begin to see if any discrepancies exist within the story and how to better empathetically confront the client to recognizing the real story and then challenging the client to the right story and course of action, all the while, supplying the client with resources and encouragement to move forward.
The Story
Egan emphasizes that when helping the client tell the story that the counselor needs to make the client feel safe in the encounter. Egan also encourages counselors to understand the styles between different cultures and how different cultures may express stories. Some clients divulge and talk, others are more quiet, while others supply numerous details and others are vague. Some clients may tell the core of the story and leave out secondary issues, while others may approach the story the opposite direction. Some clients may go off topic, while others may stay on topic (Egan, 2019, p. 274-275). This is why it is important to identify what is going on or what the client is feeling at the moment, identify what the client wants and how to get what the client needs. In this regard, counselors can help clients identify key issues and help them discuss the past but in a productive way that helps the past not define them but help them learn (Egan, 2019, p. 181). Egan also points out it is imperative to identify the severity of the initial story. Will this client need basic counseling or require crisis counseling? Clinical counselors may be able to better handle the issue presented or see the need for a specialist. Pastoral counselors dealing with issues beyond basic loss and grief, may identify something more severe and need to refer the client to a clinical counselor.
Sometimes when helping a client tell their story, it can also be useful to utilize Narrative Therapy which helps differentiate the person from the issues. At the end of the blog, there are links to better understand Narrative Therapy and its role in telling the story.
The Real Story
After identifying the key elements of the story, counselors can help clients start to see the real story by exposing with empathy any discrepancies or any blinders a client may possess. Through empathetic confrontation, a counselor can help a client see both sides or different angles to the story that the client may not had seen initially. In this way, the counselor challenges the client in the quality of their perception and participation in the story (Egan, 2019, p. 289). In dealing with the real story, Egan also points out that counselors can help clients understand their own problems and be better equipped to own their own problems and unused opportunities. When a client is gently nudged to the realities of the real story, a counselor can help the client see that the real issue is not impossible to rectify and begin to present problem maintenance structures which help clients identify, explore and act properly with their real issues (Egan, 2019,p. 292). Challenging and encouraging like a coach, can help clients move forward to begin to make the right story in their life.
The Right Story
In telling the right story, the client is pushed to new directions. The client no longer denies the need to change, but has to some extent acknowledged it. In previous blogs, we discuss issues that correlate with change in a client. When the client is ready to change, the client still requires guidance and help. The counselor helps the client choose various issues that will make a true difference in his/her life. When looking at these issues, the counselor helps the client set goals. The goals should be manageable at first and lead to bigger things but only after smaller steps to avoid let down. The counselor can help the client choose from various options and cost benefits, as well as helping the client make proper choices (Egan, 2019, p. 299-301). The counselor, like a coach, helps the client push forward and improve in life. Within the phase of telling the right story, the counselor helps the client with goals but also helps the client see the impact new goals can give to life as well as the needed commitment to those goals to ensure a continued transformation. In previous blogs, we discuss the importance of helping clients face change and develop goals. In essence, goals are developed and strategies are conceived to meet those goals
Stages of Change
Throughout the process, Egan points out that the process involves three stages. First, telling the story so that it transforms into the real and right one. Second, helping the client design and set forth problem managing goals and third and finally, setting into motion those plans with strategies (Egan, 2019). These phases involve various skillsets that the counselor must employ at different phases and stages. It involves the counselor being a listener, advisor, encourager and coach. The counselor applies basic attending skills, in previous blogs, and utilize those attending skills in productive responses and when necessary confrontations. Everything is accomplished with empathy and patience but the skills, built upon trust, allow the counselor to awaken the client to new realities. Following these earlier discussions, the counselor becomes and advisor and coach in helping the client find ways to change and implement new goals and strategies. The counselor uses encouragement skills, coaching skills, and directive skills to help the client discover the power to choose wisely and act in a more healthy fashion. Ultimately it is about the client discovering his/her own inner abilities to not only change but to sustain change.
Conclusion
No client is the same and many will have different innate virtues or vices, talents or deficiencies, strengths or weaknesses. It is up to the counselor to help cultivate what is best in the client and help the client become his/her very best. Through individual skills, the counselor can help within each session, but the counselor must try and fail with multiple different theories and therapies that work best for his/her client. This involves realizing that each case is unique and different people will respond differently to different practices or approaches. A counselor must forever remain creative and flexible in approaches and adhere to the standards of empathy which helps establish trust with clients.
Counselors play the role of listener, advisor and coach. Please also review AIHCP’s numerous mental healthcare certifications for Human Service and Healthcare professionals
A counselor can utilize a basic structure of identifying the problem, helping the client see where he/she wishes to be and help the client find ways to do it. This involves working the client through the story and helping them see the real and right story moving forward. It involves then goal setting and moving forward with action. It makes the counselor more than a listener and advisor but also a coach.
Please also review AIHCP’s numerous counseling programs for those in the Human Service and Healthcare fields. While clinical counselors have more ability to help clients deeper with issues, pastoral counselors in Human Service can also help. This is why AIHCP offers these certifications to both clinical and non clinical Human Service professionals. The programs in mental health include a Grief Counseling Certification, as well as a Christian Counseling Certification, Crisis Counseling Certification, Stress Management Consulting Certification and Anger Management Specialist Certification. The programs themselves are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification. Please review AIHCP’s numerous certification programs.
Reference
Egan, G. and Reese, R. (2019). “The Skilled Helper: A Problem Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping” (11th Ed.) Cengage.
Additional Resources
Ackerman, C. (2017). “19 Best Narrative Therapy Techniques & Worksheets”. Positive Psychology. Access here
Bates, D. (2022). “Storytelling in Counseling Is Often the Key to Successful Outcomes”. Psychotherapy.net. Access here
Guy Evans, O. (2023). “Narrative Therapy: Definition, Techniques & Interventions”. Simply Psychology. Access here
“Narrative Therapy”. Psychology Today. Access here
To help transform a person to change, attending, listening and responding are key, but the skilled counselor needs to be able to help instigate change or water the seeds of the healing process within a client. Whether loss and grief, or merely more daily stressors or emotional issues that are holding the client back from living life productively, the counselor needs to know how to coach the client and help the client find that preferred outcome. This involves not only identifying the goals and actively pushing towards them but also motivating and challenging them. Like a coach who is able to abstract the best out of their players on the field, a counselor needs to be able to encourage and challenge his/her clients to produce meaningful change. Some clients respond better, others may be still facing inner turmoil and self esteem issues. Some clients may be more resilient naturally, while others may need more prodding and gentle and empathetic guidance. Each client is unique and different but the general ideas within this short blog complement the previous blogs on attending the client and responding to the client.
Challenging and encouraging a client to change is much like a coach trying to get the best of a player on the field
Some clients may have zero motivation to be challenged. They may possess some world view or bias that prevents this change. Some may be forced to attend counseling and feel no need to change. This can occur with state mandated counseling or clients forced to attend because of family or spouses. Some clients may feel motivated simply because of guilt and look to foster a positive change. Some may simply have an interest in the counseling process and wish to see what happens. In the best case, one will find a client who understands the critical importance of counseling and the changes that need made. Regardless of the clients motivation level, it is the purpose of the counselor to help bring the best out of the client. This can be easier said then done.
The Counselor as Coach?
Life coaching in itself is a newer field within the Human Service Field. It is not clinical or requiring of various licensing but it does promote the idea of healthy change and life styles. It involves a professional who is trained to motivate, direct and help clients meet end goals. This involves both encouraging and challenging the client. Whether it is a weight goal, training goal, dieting goal, or health and life style change, life coaches are inherently trained to help produce change through motivation, encouragement and challenging of their clients. Counselors, whether pastoral or clinical, working in grief counseling or other mental counseling disciplines, through empathetic listening and responding, should have a vested interest in helping their clients meet change, but some may lack the skills to help motivate the client to change. As counselors, the client is directed and given options, but is never commanded or forced to change, instead, the client is invited to change through an array of options. Many times, clients need motivated and encouraged and even challenged to push forward through these options. Many times they may fall and need help getting up. Again, like a coach in sports, it is the counselor’s profession to not only direct, but also to help the client emotionally and mentally push towards that direction.
Challenging for New Behaviors
According to Egan, it is important to challenge clients to change. He states,
“Help clients, challenge themselves to change ways of thinking, expressing emotions, and acting them mired in problem situations and prevent them from identifying and developing opportunities…become partners with your clients in helping them challenge themselves to find opportunities in their problems, to discover unused strengths and resources, both internal and external, and to commit themselves to the actions needed to make opportunity development happen (2019, p. 190).
In challenging, Egan emphasizes the importance of the counselor and client relationship which is based on trust and partnership. A counselor, in the eyes of the client, needs to earn the right to challenge. Once this is established, the counselor needs to ensure that challenges are presented tentatively but not apologetically, with a balance between not being too harsh but not also too passive. In addition, counselors need to ensure the challenges are clear and specific. Challenges also should not make demands or be forceful in nature but provide a structural system of choices. As the term challenge indicates, it is never easy, so help clients utilize unused strengths to help meet the challenges and the ability to build on successful challenges to meet new ones (2019, p. 220-225). As Egan points out, the counselor should be a “catalyst for a better future (2019, p. 190)”.
Many times, a counselor has to identify what is preventing the person from being able to face a challenge in life
In challenging clients, many times, they have many inherent issues that are already hampering them with the problem and maybe life in general. To help clients become more resilient and able to create new behaviors, counselors sometimes need to identify blocks and issues within the client. Egan lists a variety of target areas that negatively affect a client’s ability to respond to challenges and delay productive and healthy change. Through attending, listening and responding, a counselor is able to identify certain issues that may restrict the ability of a client to respond effectively to challenges.
The first issue Egan lists are what he refers to as self defeating mindsets that include “assumptions, attitudes, beliefs, values, bias, convictions, inclinations, norms, points of view, perceptions of self and the world, preconceptions and prejudices (2019, p. 190-191)”. Albert Ellis looked at facing irrational beliefs head on with interventions that would challenge irrational mindsets. According to Ellis, many individuals have flawed misconceptions on life. Egan lists a few of these ideals.
I must only be liked and loved in life
I must always be in control in life
I must always have my things done my way or no way
I should never have any problems
I am a victim and not responsible for any of my issues
I will avoid things that are difficult
I believe my past dictates what I do in the future
I do not need happiness in anything or anyone else
(Egan, 2019, p.191)
Ellis considered these mindsets as impediments to change because when something did happen that was bad, the person would tend to “catastrophize” it and become unable to adjust to the problem or even be remotely open to challenges to face it. In addition to these mindsets, Egan points out that some individuals embrace in four fallacies that hamper change, as according to Sternberg. Among those listed by Sternberg were egocentrism and taking into account only one’s own interests, omniscience and thinking one knows everything about the issue, omnipotence and feeling one can do whatever one desires and invulnerability and one will never face true consequences (2019, p.192). Obviously these four fallacies are undesirable characteristics and whether naive or part of a greater personality disorder, they are issues that can prevent true change in the client.
In addition to mindsets, some individuals may have self defeating emotions and feelings that prevent them from achieving goals. They may possess low self esteem or poor self image. They may have fears that prevent them doing greater things. Others may possess various dysfunctional behaviors that are external in nature. In essence, the person cannot get out of their own way in life. Their behavior, unknown to them sometimes, continues to create the issues they are trying to escape. Others may possess discrepancies in what they feel and think in regards to what they say and do and how they view themselves versus how they are truly viewed by others. Other times, individuals can be hampered in making true change or answering challenges because of unused strengths or resources (Egan, 2019, p. 194-197).
Other “Blind Spots” within the client preventing and hampering change can include various levels of unawareness. This can include being blind to one’s own talents and strengths seen by others but not perceived by the self. Some individuals may be unaware due to self deception itself, or choosing ignorance. Some individuals will avoid issues and problems because they simply would rather not know because the truth may be too terrifying. In helping clients challenge themselves to new behaviors, counselors can open clients to new areas of awareness with simple self questions.
What problem am I avoiding?
What opportunities am I ignoring?
What am I overlooking?
What do I refuse to see?
How am I being dishonest with myself?
(Egan, 2019, p. 204)
As the counselor, but also a coach, it is important to help clients identify these issues and understand why they are unable to move forward.
Helping Clients Identify These Issues and Healthy Challenging
Carl Rogers promoted a empathetic approach. In helping others face hard realities, a fact based empathetic approach is key. Showing patience and empathy and carefully presenting the issue with assertiveness but compassion is key in helping the client awaken to certain issues. Of course, timing, tone, and words all play a key role in helping the client become acceptive. The counselor cannot come across as afraid to address issues but not confrontational. Sometimes, certain words, may offset a client or labels, and the counselor will need to navigate why and how to discuss the issue. Also within this process, the counselor cannot simply give a set of directions but present options. Finally, again, the counselor needs to present the new awareness and challenge to the client without judgment but in a way that creates self awareness and pushes forward change.
Counselors help motivate clients to change through empathy and supplying the client with appropriate level challenges and options to meet
When discovering hindering blind spots and issues, the counselor needs to become a detective in some respects before he/she can truly become a coach. What is the client truly trying to say, or hinting at, or half saying (Egan, 2019, p.206)? Counselors need to help clients understand their implicit thoughts and words and make them become more explicit. In doing so, counselors can help clients understand themes in their stories, make connections with what may be missing and share educated hunches in feedback (Egan, 2019, p. 207-210). Counselors can through their hunches, help clients see the bigger picture, dig deeper in the story, draw conclusions, open up more, see overlooked aspects, or even own their own story (Egan, 2019, p. 210-211).
Of course how these opinions and disclosures are presented to the client are critical. They are part of the art of counseling and also the product of good coaching. A good coach is able to present a deficiency in a player’s form or approach and help turn into change and better performance. This however involves not tearing down the player, but building the player up and giving the player the tools necessary to improve. As an teacher and encourager, a coach is able to transform the problem and help the player have success on the field. Likewise, an counselor needs to be able to coach his/her client through approaching a weakness and being able to challenge the person to overcome it and make it a strength in the field of life. Strength Based Therapies as proposed by Pattoni, (2012) help clients label their strengths and identify them and utilize them in variety of goal setting environments. The process looks to expand hope but also create autonomy in facing issues.
When providing factful information and options to a client, a counselor needs to remain empathetic and tactful in delivering the news. Some news can be shocking to a client and the client may need time or understanding in the process (Egan, 2019, p. 213). Hence Egan recommends sometimes sharing one’s disclosures and challenges, but he recommends it to be used with caution. He recommends being sure to use it sparingly, appropriately and culturally aware. Timing can be key. One does not wish to have one’s own disclosure to become a distraction (2019, p.215).
As a counselor and coach, how one gives suggestions and recommendations for better improvements are critical. Inspired first with empathy and secondly aware of internal issues of the client, a counselor needs to approach and challenge the client without confronting but at the same time presenting clear and factual options to promote change. These challenges are not easy, so like a good coach, a counselor needs to find ways to provide encouragement during the change process. Counselors should invite clients to challenge themselves and help them identify specific challenges that will make the best changes. Like a sports coach, while identifying any issue, the counselor needs to encourage and identify strengths to overcome a particular challenge. Furthermore, the challenge needs to be evaluated as not to be too intense to be self-demeaning to the client. Sometimes, success is built upon. So when identifying challenges, the counselor needs to present them in a fashion that leads to success (Egan, 2019, p. 220).
As a counselor-coach, a counselor identifies changes that are essential and helps the client identify change. Some clients are more resistant to change. In another blog, we discuss the Client Change Scale which lists the levels of difficulty for a client to accept change or implement it based on their stage. It is the counselor’s job to help the client see the necessity of change and help the client find it through encouragement and help. Some changes will be first order, or deal with the current situation, or others may be second order and more long term or permanent. This depends on the nature of the issue and the needs of the client. The counselor like a coach, helps the client implement goals, strategies and plans to implement the change. The counselor helps the client see his/her possible self, delve into creativity, and think differently (Egan, 2019, p. 315-318). In essence, the counselor helps the client see a better future, set goals to attain it and help them put it into action (Egan, 2019, p. 314).
Conclusion
Counselors are like coaches. They need to challenge their clients by identifying weaknesses and help clients overcome them with appropriate challenges. This involves active attending and responding to the client and understanding the inner challenges the client faces. The counselor then is able to better become a catalyst of change in the clients life with setting appropriate challenges to make the client a better person in the field of life.
Please also review AIHCP’s multiple counseling certifications in Grief Counseling, Christian Counseling, Life Coaching, Anger Management, Stress Management and Crisis Intervention Counseling
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification, as well as its Christian Counseling Certification. Other mental health certifications for both pastoral and clinical counselors, or those engaged in the Human Service Fields, include Stress Management, Life Coaching, Anger Management, and Crisis Intervention. The programs are online and self study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in any of these fields.
Reference
Egan, G. & Reese. R. (2019).”The Skilled Helper: A Problem Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping” (11th Ed). Cengage
Additional Resources
Sutton, J. (2022). “Motivation in Counseling: 9 Steps to Engage Your Clients”. Positive Psychology. Access here
Sutton, J. (2022). “How to Perform Strengths-Based Therapy and Counseling”. Positive Psychology. Access here
“The Skill of Challenge in Counselling”(2019). Counseling Tutor. Access here
Voitilainen, L. et, al. (2018). “Empathy, Challenge, and Psychophysiological Activation in Therapist–Client Interaction”. Front Psychol. 2018; 9: 530. National Library of Medicine. Access here
Spirituality and health are linked together. Those with more optimistic world views are more secure and calm. Due to this, those who experience sickness sometimes have a better chance of recovery. However, spirituality can also be a world view or a sacred philosophy. This type of moral anchor can help any individual.
Does this correlate completely with health? Some spiritual people become very sick. Some even die. Spirituality or a philosophical code of life does not bar one from illness or death but it does percentage wise help with overall outlooks which correspond with better recoveries, less stress, and a healthier outlook on life.
Please also review AIHCP’s Spiritual Counseling program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Spiritual Counseling.
Health is multi faceted. It is not just a physical thing, but also a mental, emotional and as well spiritual. Spirituality can be applied to multiple aspects of health. Overall purpose, optimism and faith can all play key roles in healing and staying healthy. Spirituality is not a narrow definition though and can be applied to a wealth of values and beliefs and world views. How those world views and beliefs are applied in daily life and struggle have critical aspects in overall health. Please also review AIHCP’s Spiritual Counseling Certification
Spirituality has many correlations with better physical health. Please also review AIHCP’s Spiritual Counseling Certification
The article, “Spirituality is a concept that means different things to different people. How would you describe spirituality, and how can it help an individual to become more in tune with their body?” by Dr Tracy Balboni takes a closer look at how spirituality plays a role in health and also in care of patients. She states,
“In healthy populations, communal forms of spirituality – as exemplified by regular religious service attendance – are associated with many improved health outcomes, including greater longevity, better mental health, less suicide, and reduced substance use. Among adolescents, being involved in spiritual communities is associated with better health outcomes, including less substance use and less risky health behaviors. ”
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification as well AIHCP’s Spiritual Counseling Certification and see if they meet your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in spiritual counseling.
Near Death Experience or NDE are mysterious and empirically unexplainable experiences individuals near death can experience. It is still a mystery as to if NDE is a proof for a metaphysical afterlife or a lack of current understanding of the brain and its unknown processes when responding to possible death. For now, they are accepted as something that is unexplainable and not to be connected with psychosis or any type of mental pathology but a legitimate experience some individuals face when dealing with death.
Near Death Experience or NDE has certain qualities associated with it that differentiate it from other mental states such as dreams or hallucinations. It NDE, there is an out of body experience that occurs, or a autoscopic episode. This episode is when one is unconscious and the trajectory if not corrected will lead to physical death. During this unconscious state, one can experience lucid visions outside one body. To qualify as an NDE, a 16 question survey must score at least a 7 in value.
Are Near Death Experiences metaphysical and spiritual episodes or some unknown yet reaction of the brain to death? Please also review AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Program as well as AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Among the many questions include the level of consciousness one felt during the episode. Was the experience equal or greater than normal conscious behavior. This is a key element in differentiating from a dream state or a hallucination. During these states, individuals under anesthesia are able to comprehend things around their unconscious body that the brain should not be able to sense. This type of mental ability questions whether the soul is experiencing a metaphysical experience or if there is some unknown power of the brain yet known to science. Many who experience NDE are able to relate things regarding those around them while they were unconscious that the brain should not be able to observe or sense. In fact, the senses are even more acute and sharp during NDE. Blind individuals are able to see things in some studies, as well as individuals who can see but see more so in deeper colors and understanding than any mere human eyes. In other cases, NDE patients also understood the thoughts of others around them.
Science looks to explain some of these feelings and sensations when the body is in crisis. Russel Noyes, a famous psychiatrist, who researched NDE, pointed out that the body when in crisis experiences various adaptations. There is a sharp mystical awakening to more vivid images, as well as a depersonalization with emotion and a detachment. Also, there is a hyper-alertness with sharper vision and hearing that helps the person survive. Could these abilities be amplified near death?
Most who experience NDE, which is around 1/3rd who have close clashes with death, firmly believe it was a real experience. They return in many cases more peaceful and guided. They look to implement life changes and have less death anxiety itself. The experiences are also multi-cultural and do not differ between Western and Eastern religious codes. Even children with little predisposed religious ideals, experience the same and often beyond their natural understanding. Individuals who are not religious also share similar experiences.
During these religious experiences, many experience a calm and bright light, and in some cases see lost loved ones but others can experience nothingness or more frightful visions. Some see torture and hellish images. They experience upon their return a call for conversion or a scared traumatic response. Others try to explain it away.
Grief Counselors, or more so licensed professional counselors are needed to help individuals discuss and resolve their NDE experience. It is important that the counselor understand that it is not a pathology but to be on the look out for pathological reactions to the experience. Counselors also must be open to the individuals interpretation. Since there is no rational explanation, it may very well be metaphysical or also tied to unexplainable brain functioning that is firing off an array of visions that science cannot understand. It is critical to listen and accept the story of the individual with an NDR and how it relates to that particular individual.
Gaining the trust is key. Individuals, may think they are crazy, or noone will believe their story. It is important to reassure the patient that this is phenomenon is a real experience although unexplainable by science and that their visions are not crazy or pathological. It is essential to help the individual integrate the experience into their life story. Unless pathological reactions occur when extreme anxiety or dangerous new behaviors arise, the person should be encouraged to share and incorporate the experience into their life in a healthy way. There is no treatment since it is not a pathology itself and there is no true medication because the incident is beyond comprehension.
Near Death Experience is a universal experience across cultures. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Those of belief may accept the experience as a religious experience. This is not pathological but acceptable. The reality is it may very well be a metaphysical experience beyond the scope of science and to marginalize it and categorize it against the will of the patient is counter productive. It is best to co-exist with the experience from wherever it came and allow it produce the healthy changes one needs in one life. Ultimately, there may be an explanation or it may be metaphysical, or it may be a mixture of both, but since they are universal and non pathological, it would be prudent to merely care more about how one reacts to the experience in counseling than to define it for the patient. How the patient defines it is the patient’s choice.
Death and dying is a mystery. It is the final chapter of observable existence. NDE is merely another element of it and how we see death beyond the grave and the many spiritual questions that burn within our mind and how our body reacts to death itself.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
