Emotional Control and Communication in Conflict Resolution

Conflict is natural because of disagreement.  Whether the conflict is minor, verbal, or becomes violent, depends on the situation, time and place.  Individually and socially, conflict occurs everyday at different levels.  Whether at work and a disagreement occurs, or at home and an argument ensures, conflict is part of daily life.  Just because conflict and differences exist, does not mean it has to be a bad thing or dangerous thing.  While many conflicts spiral out of control into professional, personal or even social chaos, conflicts do not need to become divisive and destructive forces.  Differences can be discussed, mended and aligned to incorporate benefits for everyone.

Conflict resolution requires emotional control, communication, listening and an ability to understand wants and needs of self and other.


However, certain differences can only be mended so far.  Certain differences cannot always make every side happy and certain differences will leave some with some resentment.  It is how one intellectually and emotionally handles a conflict that matters sometime the most.  When wars result or family feuds ensue, then no matter the conclusion, no-one benefits.  Hence it is important to to not only employ good conflict resolution skills but also manage emotions.


Emotions can turn an argument or conflict into an aggressive verbal and sometimes physical battle with only impasses.  In this case, when entering into any conflict resolution meeting, or entering into argument or debate, to present oneself with a calm mind.   Anger Management is key.  Focusing on dislikes of other person or group,  lingering on past insults or wrongs, allowing prejudices to warp the intellect and issuing insults can only escalate.  The key is to de-escalate when conflict emerges during discussion.  It is important to identify one’s own triggers, as well as the other individual’s triggers.   Once these are identified, it is easier to avoid and also limit. Avoid being overly defensive or quick to respond if something upsets.  There are good ways to respond to criticism and bad ways.  It is key during conflict resolution to respond well.

Conflict resolution requires emotional control and intellectual reason.


Furthermore, one needs to identify tone of voice, body position and movement in regards to dealing with the individual.  How one initially represents oneself can determine the outcome of a discussion.  This is true when arguing with a spouse or friend, debating with another person, crafting a business deal, negotiating a bill, or even responding to an officer at a basic traffic stop. When one insults or past biases are voiced in an aggressive manner, the other person will automatically assume a more defensive position and be far less willing to listen.  Name calling and insulting while dismissing the primary topic is a good way to end any resolution before it ever begins.  Instead be calm and collective and be positive.  Avoid negative sentences and “I” statements, but keep very close to the topic and avoid ad hominem argumentation.   Compliments and acknowledgement of other another side’s view and an appreciation of one’s concerns can open a far more healthy dialogue.


Obviously a healthy a dialogue is the purpose.  Each dialogue has an end goal.  To reach the established end goal, involves communication and listening.  When one speaks so loudly above others, one not only alienates oneself from the other side, but also is unable to hear points and counter points. When pointing out strengths and weaknesses of one’s view,  there should be a clear line of respect and time for each side to fully articulate each other’s point of view.  Proper listening and communication is hence a pre-requisite in any negotiation or mediation and is as important as emotional control.

Reactions to Conflict

When dealing with conflict there are a variety of ways to handle it.  The article, “5 Conflict Resolution Strategies: Steps, Benefits and Tips” by Jennifer Herrity points out some key ways some may deal with conflict and its resolution.  She states,

“Conflicts are struggles that can arise during an active disagreement of opinions or interests, so it’s important to understand how to navigate and resolve them. In the workplace, there are many instances in which conflict can happen between coworkers, and when it does, it is important to resolve the situation before it escalates. In this article, we discuss five conflict resolution strategies, how to use them in the workplace and the benefits of conflict resolution…Different people use different methods to resolve conflict, depending on their personalities and preferences. The five most common strategies, known as the (Kenneth) Thomas-(Ralph) Kilmann model,  used to resolve conflicts in the workplace include”

“5 Conflict Resolution Strategies: Steps, Benefits and Tips”. Herrity, J. (2023). Indeed.

To review the entire article, please click here

Individuals when dealing with conflict can avoid the argument completely.  This passive reaction to an argument can lead many unresolved issues and deeper resentment.  Many introverts and passive individuals will flee conflict however instead of arguing or feeling bullied into an issue by a more aggressive personality.  Avoidance may relieve temporary tension but it does not resolve the existing issue.

How to resolve a conflict has many options. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Program


Other individuals will actively engage and compete against the other person. They will completely and totally reject the entirety of the other person’s argument and push only for one’s own ideal or solution.  This leads to active hostility and disagreement and also offers no other solution.  Whether in business, politics, or international war, this leads to one eventually exerting power over the other or leaving a totally dissatisfied side which will later re-emerge with similar issues.Other individuals will accommodate the other individual.  This may lead to short term peace but again only presents a lingering issue.  Sometimes accommodation is purposely utilized to resolve short term issues with true sights on longer term venues.

Compromising, like accommodation, also provides a short term solution but usually leads to longer term issues and revisiting to the lasting issue.  Those in compromise though both walk away with a distaste but also a small gain.

Finally, collaboration is the ultimate solution when possible.  In this scenario, all individuals win because they work together towards something better.  Each side realizes the value of the other and combine their forces and ideas towards a greater good.

Character Matters

Understanding the sides of both and avoiding bias is key in conflict resolution. Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Certification


Individuals must also during any type of negotiation or conflict resolution possess some sort of character and ability to read it in others.  One should be able to analyze one’s own strength and weaknesses and see where one is right or wrong.  One must also understand the type of personality one is dealing with across from them.  What type of temperament, personality and demeanor consists within this individual.  Are they more of an exertive dominant Personality A, or a more passive Personality B?  One should be prepared to know maximum and minimum extremes one will waver, as well as the other, and then make a solid logical and honest agreement.  Keeping one’s word and processing a fair agreement meets with all standards of justice and integrity.  When many nations or individuals break deals, conflict is always unavoidable.  This is why the deal should always be just and not overtly benefiting oneself.  Trouble will only emerge later.  This should be seen as looking out for the future and avoiding unneeded drama in future days.


Personal interaction will always breed conflict because different people have different opinions.  It is important to protect one’s own interests but to also be fair and just. This is accomplished through communication, listening and understanding the person.  It involves anger management and emotional restraint in how one debates another view.  It demands logic, justice and a fair view of oneself.  When these qualities are missing, conflict resolution is moot and conflict itself will emerge.

Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention, Anger Management and Stress Management Programs.  The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.  Those seeking to help resolve issues and conflicts can easily utilize a Crisis Intervention Certification or Anger Management Certification to their resume and utilize the skills to better apply conflict resolution both personally and professionally whether at home, work, school, politics or at the international level.


“Conflict Resolution” MTCT. Mind Tools.  Access here

“How to Control Your Emotions During a Difficult Conversation”. Gallo, A. (2017). Harvard Business Review. Access here

“Conflict Resolution Skills”. (2023). HelpGuide.org.  Access here

“14 Conflict Resolution Strategies for the Workplace”. Wilson, C. (2022). Positive Psychology.  Access here





Unique Nature of Female Anger

Like many stereotypes and cultural norms, women are expected to behave certain ways.  Unlike men, according to these norms, women cannot entertain rage or anger in public.  These images are farther from the truth for all human beings experience anger, but women are expected to internalize anger.  Quite the opposite with men, who release anger and rage and have created their own stereotype that males are more aggressive.  These ideals of human behavior according to the genders are opposite in grief, where women externalize and men internalize.  Which emotion that is shown or hidden is applied to gender by society and when one sees conflicting displays, individuals begin to question.  The reality again is that all human beings are different and even anger is not always internalized in women, much the same way grief is not supposed to always be internalized by men.

Society dismisses anger in women. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification


The ideas of women and aggression are mostly seen with motherhood or romantic slight.  Other than this, cultural norms dictate a more timid and peaceful gender, but this can be damaging to a woman.  Like all human beings, expression of any emotion is key and the ability to properly process anger is essential to existence.  The article, “HELL HATH NO FURY: AN EXPLORATION OF FEMALE RAGE” by Pema Bakshi looks at gender roles, anger in women, and how women can better express anger in the modern world.  She states,

“Rage is a response. My rage has been one that festers. Like a flame that whips itself from smoke to spark to a raging inferno, it clouds my vision and wells in my eyes. It’s the clench in my jaw and the terminal tension in my shoulders. With a taut smile fixed on my mug, though, it’s hardly recognisable – anger in women seldom is. But the thing that fuses rage with fire, is that it can swallow us, or, when mobilised, aid our survival.  Data from global research firm Gallup, collated from over 150 countries across a decade, tells us that women are only getting angrier. And as Jennifer Cox, a London-based psychotherapist and founder of Women Are Mad, explains, this anger in women is chronically misunderstood.”


To read read the entire article, please click here



It is important to recognize women and their anger. Too many times, women are labeled emotional and hormonal.  It is important for women to be able express emotion without labeling. It is important to actual investigate what is occurring and why women are upset.

The societal expectations and stereotypes around anger in women

Society has long perpetuated the stereotype of the “angry woman” as someone who is irrational, hysterical, and out of control. This stereotype not only undermines the validity of women’s anger but also limits their ability to express themselves fully. Women are often discouraged from expressing anger, being labeled as “difficult” or “overreacting” when they do so. This societal bias creates a double standard, where men are allowed to express anger more freely while women are expected to remain calm and composed.

The consequences of repressed anger in women

Repressed anger can have detrimental effects on a woman’s mental and physical well-being. When anger is not expressed or properly managed, it can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression. Additionally, repressed anger can manifest in passive-aggressive behavior or self-destructive habits. It is essential to recognize that anger is a valid emotion and find healthy ways to express and process it.

Empowering women to express and navigate their anger

To empower women to express and navigate their anger, it is crucial to challenge societal expectations and stereotypes. Women need to be encouraged to embrace their anger as a natural and valid emotion. By acknowledging their anger, women can begin to understand the underlying causes and triggers, allowing for healthier expressions and responses.

A woman’s anger should not be dismissed as mental or hormonal. It should be recognized and validated.

Transforming anger into positive action

Anger has the power to be a catalyst for positive change. Instead of suppressing or lashing out in anger, women can channel their energy into productive actions. This could involve advocating for social justice, creating art, or participating in activism. By transforming anger into positive action, women can empower themselves and others, creating lasting change.

Tools and techniques for managing anger in women

Managing anger requires developing effective tools and techniques. Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and physical activities such as yoga or boxing can help release pent-up anger in a healthy way. Journaling and talking to a trusted friend or therapist can provide an outlet for processing and understanding anger. It is important to find what works best for each individual, as everyone’s journey with anger is unique.

The importance of self-care in anger management

Self-care plays a vital role in anger management. Engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation can help reduce stress and prevent anger from escalating. This could include practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-reflection. Taking care of oneself is not selfish; it is a necessary step in managing anger and promoting overall well-being.

Seeking support and professional help for anger issues in women

If anger becomes overwhelming or begins to interfere with daily life, seeking support and professional help is essential. Therapy can provide a safe space for women to explore their anger and develop healthy coping mechanisms. A therapist can also help address any underlying issues or traumas that may contribute to the anger. It is crucial to reach out for help without shame or guilt, as seeking support is a sign of strength and a step towards healing.

Empowering women to advocate for change and address the root causes of their anger

Anger can often be a response to societal injustice, inequality, or personal experiences of oppression. By empowering women to advocate for change, we can address the root causes of their anger. This involves supporting women in using their anger constructively, whether it be through activism, community organizing, or political involvement. By addressing the systemic issues that contribute to women’s anger, we can work towards a more equitable society for all.


Empowering the angry woman is not about encouraging aggression or violence but about recognizing and validating women’s anger. By challenging societal expectations, providing tools for anger management, and advocating for change, we can help women navigate and transform their anger into positive action. Supporting women in expressing their anger and addressing its root causes is a step towards creating a more just and inclusive society for everyone. So let us embrace and empower the angry woman, for her anger has the potential to change the world.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification

Additional Resources

“Why Women Need to Honor Their Anger”. Golden, B. (2018). Psychology Today.  Access here

“Anger in women”. Hayden, A. (2023). Women’s Health Network. Access here

“4 Facts About Women’s Anger That’ll Help You Keep It Healthy”. Fraga, J. (2018).  Healthline. Access here

“Are women getting angrier?”. (2022). BBC News.  Access here


Anger Management and Letting Go of Grudges

Revenge, holding a grudge, not forgiving and hating others over past actions leads to terrible consequences, both personally and socially.  Even if, the grudge or anger against an individual is justified, holding these types of feelings can still be negative.  It is important to learn how to properly let go of somethings and use proper channels to deal with others.  Anger Management can help individuals learn to let go and diffuse hate and misgivings about others.

Allowing anger to exist in oneself due to a grudge does more harm to oneself than the other


There are somethings one cannot forget.  There are somethings that are petty as well, but whether small or large, legitimate or illegitimate or hate or revenge, one will suffer personally when one allows anger and hate to ferment overtime.  Here are a few things to consider.

First, what is the nature of the offense against oneself.  Was the offense of a criminal nature or a minor nature?

Additionally, what role did one pay in the offense?  Analyzing oneself is important.  Was it due to one’s own selfishness or envy?

Third, what is one’s philosophical life view?  Is it an “eye for an eye” or “turn the other cheek”?  Is there middle ground?  Can one alter a life philosophy that is causing hatred and discord in one’s life?

Fourth, how can one channel the anger?  Can one find justice through appropriate legal action?  If it is not of a criminal nature, how can one channel anger?  Can one let it go after so many years to find peace?  Can one forgive but not forget?  Forgiveness sometimes is more beneficial for oneself, since it removes the poison caused by the other person.  The healing permits the person to find peace and also better physical health.

Fifth, can one utilize anger management, meditation and other calming strategies to help one find inner peace? Sometimes individuals need counseling to let go.

These are important things to consider when dealing with grudges.   Overall, most individuals deal with minor grudges throughout life and in turn these minor grudges into larger issues that not only  make social situations uncomfortable but also overtime damage physical health.  When one is so pre-occupied with negative occurrences with others, it puts one’s body in a state of tension and fight or flight.  The body produces cortisol and epinephrine during high stress that raises heart rate, constricts blood vessels and muscles and prepares the body for action.  If one holds a grudge and anger constantly, then these acute reactions become constant.  Constant exposure overtime damages the body.  In addition to the body, the tension of holding grudges increases chances of anxiety and depression.

For one’s own good, it is important to let things go or at least proportionately to a point where if justice is needed, it is provided, but one’s own constant internal struggle is limited.  Spiritual individuals can sometimes find solace in leaving it in a higher power’s hands or even a karmic justice of the universe.  Once, however, things are removed from one’s hands, it is best to accept what one can control and not allow something to tear at one inside.  This may be easier said than done for those who are victims of crime, but even if crime or petty insult, holding on to anger and hate only hurts oneself overtime.

At a social and communal level, one merely needs to look on the map at the countless wars occurring now or throughout history.  Blood feuds, grudges and ethnic hate carry one from generation to generation causing war and genocide.   At family levels, uncles or brothers refuse to speak to each other causing family divide.  A family grudge can cause strife during the holidays.  While a small grudge may not lead to such extremes, one can see the power of hate at a micro level grow like a small flame into a massive forest fire.  It is important to control anger, or slight, justified or unjustified in a way that does not spread hate or damage oneself.

The article, “5 Dangerous Consequences of Holding a Grudge” by Sean Grover takes a closer look at how personal grudges can overwhelm one’s entire life and lead to personal destruction.  He states,

“Do you have trouble getting over a grudge? Do you obsessively ruminate about payback? Does the thought of “getting even” please you? If so, chances are you’re a grudge collector. And that’s not good news. Beneath the surface of every grudge is hurt. Betrayal, deceit, and broken trust are among the most common sources of grievances.  Of course, we all eventually suffer hurt and humiliation, often at the hands of friends or loved ones. What you choose to do with the hurt determines if it hardens into a grudge or if you let it go and move on with your life.”

“5 Dangerous Consequences of Holding a Grudge”. Grover. S. (2023). Psychology Today.

To read the entire article, please click here

Glover points out that many who are unable to let go of slights or grudges have many issues themselves.  In this particular setting, we are not referring to criminal actions against oneself but an individual who psychologically has issues with other people and has a hard time letting anything go.  Within these mindsets, one finds individuals who are arrogant, spiteful, and are unforgiving.  Individuals with these traits make things bigger and more personal than they need to be.  They feel wronged when they are not wronged in many cases and carry out a revengeful plan.  Not only does this person deal with their own inner demons but they also cause physical trauma within themselves by constantly being at war with the world.

Sometimes the one holding the grudge is the issue and not the other person. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Specialist Program


It is important whether like an individual with these traits, or an individual who has been wronged to try to let go as best as possible in correlation to the magnitude of the event.  Glover recommends processing the hurt, seeking support as needed and moving on.  If the event was criminal, then of course accessing all possible venues, but if not, letting go.  As for those with more selfish mindsets, it is best to take responsibility for one’s role in the event and learn from mistakes.  This is easier said than done for some selfish individuals but if one wants inner peace, one needs to let go.

While some grudges are benign, some are criminal, and some grudges may be more one’s fault than the other.  Regardless, anger and unprocessed hate cause damage to the body and soul and it is important to find ways to remove this negative energy from one’s body.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Specialist Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.

Additional Resources

“Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness”. Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022). Mayo Clinic.  Access here

“The Mental Health Effects of Holding a Grudge”. Vanbuskirk, S. (2021). VeryWellMind. Access here

“Holding Grudges Only Hurts You — Try These Tips to Let Them Go”. Telloian, C. (2022). Healthline. Access here

“Why We Hold Grudges, and How to Let Them Go”. Coller, N. (2015). Psychology Today.  Access here

Anger Management and Good Parenting

No guide book comes with parenting.  One learns from experience and trial and error.  First time parents may pick up a few cues for future children but even then different personalities pose different challenges.  One important aspect of parenting is controlling rage and anger.  Many bad habits can generationally slide to one household to the next and it is important if a victim of abuse or rage to stop the trend and create a home with peace and serenity.

Parents need to understand that children learn through example.  If they see bad or good behavior, they will mimic this behavior.  Anger and a quick temper is a learned behavior overall, so good example is critical.  This does not mean certain temperaments exist within different children, but nurture does have a strong impact when handing down better habits in life.  So parents need to show children than anger and violence is not the answer.

Parenting involves controlling anger in front of children too. Please review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program


This starts with how parents treat each other and the child through discipline but also day to day to activities, whether driving or even working on something.  How one reacts plays big roles on how one’s children will react to similar situations.   Parents who try their best to control anger, show empathy, apologize when wrong, and discipline with control have a greater chance of gifting the world with caring and empathetic children who will not turn to violence or rage when confronted with issues.

The article, “When You Are an Angry Parent, Mind Your Temper” by Teronie Donaldson looks closer at how parents can play a positive impact in regards to anger management and controlling one’s temper when raising children.  The article states,

“Anger is a powerful emotion, and as parents, it’s essential to manage it effectively.  How we handle our anger impacts our well-being and sets an example for our children.  I remember hearing someone say that kids spend the rest of their lives getting over the first five years. That stuck with me because you must be very careful of what you say to kids in their formative years, or they will become adults with problems. I still remember some hurtful insults my mother said to me when I was a kid. I love her to pieces, but her wrath was vicious when she was mad.”

“When You Are an Angry Parent, Mind Your Temper”. Donaldson, T. (2023). The Good Men Project

To read the entire article, please click her



As parents, it is essential to recognize and understand the emotion of anger. Anger is a natural human response that can arise due to various factors such as stress, fatigue, or frustration. It is important to remember that experiencing anger as a parent does not make you a bad parent. However, how you manage and express your anger can significantly impact your child’s emotional well-being.

The Impact of Anger on Children

It is crucial to be aware of the effect that anger can have on children. When parents express their anger in an unhealthy or uncontrolled manner, it can lead to detrimental consequences for their children. Children may experience fear, anxiety, and a sense of instability when exposed to frequent outbursts of anger. It can also affect their self-esteem, as they may internalize their parents’ anger and blame themselves for causing it. Moreover, children who witness anger regularly may also develop behavioral issues and difficulties in managing their own emotions.

Why It’s Important to Manage Anger as a Parent

How parents manage stress and anger when around children is key to promoting better examples in life


Managing anger as a parent is essential for maintaining a harmonious home environment. When parents effectively manage their anger, they create a safe and nurturing space for their children to grow and thrive. By modeling healthy anger management techniques, parents teach their children valuable life skills, such as emotional regulation and conflict resolution. Additionally, managing anger helps parents build stronger and more positive relationships with their children, fostering open communication and understanding.

Identifying Triggers and Warning Signs of Anger

To effectively manage anger, it is essential to identify its triggers and warning signs. Triggers can be specific situations, behaviors, or thoughts that provoke anger. By recognizing these triggers, parents can be proactive in managing their emotional responses. Additionally, being aware of the warning signs, such as increased heart rate, tense muscles, or negative thoughts, allows parents to intervene before their anger escalates. Taking note of these triggers and warning signs is the first step in gaining control over anger as a parent.

Effective Strategies for Managing Anger in the Moment

When anger arises in the heat of the moment, it is crucial to have effective strategies in place to manage it constructively. One approach is to practice deep breathing exercises, which help regulate the body’s physiological response to anger. Taking slow, deep breaths can calm the nervous system and reduce feelings of anger. Another strategy is to take a brief timeout, stepping away from the situation to cool down and gain perspective. Engaging in physical activities, such as going for a walk or doing a quick workout, can also help release pent-up anger. Additionally, expressing anger assertively, rather than aggressively, can lead to more productive conversations and problem-solving.

Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Long-Term Anger Management

While managing anger in the moment is important, developing healthy coping mechanisms for long-term anger management is equally crucial. Engaging in regular exercise, practicing mindfulness meditation, and seeking therapy or counseling are effective ways to address underlying issues that contribute to anger. Additionally, engaging in hobbies or activities that bring joy and relaxation can serve as healthy outlets for stress and frustration. By implementing these long-term coping mechanisms, parents can build resilience and prevent anger from becoming a recurring issue in their lives.

Communicating Effectively with Your Child During Moments of Anger

During moments of anger, it is vital to communicate effectively with your child to maintain a healthy relationship. Instead of resorting to yelling or harsh words, strive to express your feelings assertively and calmly. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming or criticizing your child. Active listening is equally important; give your child the opportunity to express their emotions and concerns without interruption. By fostering open and respectful communication, parents can strengthen their bond with their child and resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Seeking Support and Resources for Anger Management as a Parent

Recognizing the need for support in managing anger is a sign of strength. Parents should not hesitate to seek professional help or join support groups specifically designed for anger management. Therapists or counselors can provide valuable guidance and techniques to help parents effectively manage their anger. Online resources, books, and workshops focused on anger management can also offer valuable insights and strategies. Remember, seeking support is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step toward creating a harmonious home environment.

Teaching Your Child to Manage Their Own Emotions

In addition to managing their own anger, parents play a vital role in teaching their children how to manage their emotions. Encourage your child to express their feelings in a healthy and constructive manner. Teach them techniques such as deep breathing, journaling, or engaging in creative activities to manage their anger. Additionally, help them identify their own triggers and warning signs, and guide them in finding appropriate coping mechanisms. By empowering children with these skills, parents equip them with the tools to navigate and regulate their emotions throughout their lives.

Conclusion: Creating a Harmonious Home Through Effective Anger Management

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goal


Mastering the art of managing anger as a parent is a journey that requires self-reflection, awareness, and consistent effort. By understanding anger, recognizing its impact on children, and actively seeking strategies for anger management, parents can create a harmonious home environment. Through effective communication, seeking support, and teaching children to manage their emotions, parents can foster emotional well-being and resilience in their children. Remember, managing anger is not about suppressing or eliminating the emotion entirely, but rather finding healthy ways to express and regulate it.

Also recall, one small word can harm a child mentally and emotionally.  The purpose of discipline itself is to correct not harm.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program. The program is designed to train professionals to better help individuals deal with anger in a healthy way.  AIHCP’s program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.


Additional Resources

“How To Manage Anger When You’re a Parent”. Crider, K. (2022). Healthline. Access here

“What to know about anger management for parents”. Sissons, B. (2022). Medical News Today. Access here

“PARENTS ANGER: TURNING DOWN THE HEAT IN YOUR HOME”. The Center for Parenting Education.  Access here

“Ready to Snap? Tips for Stressed-Out Parents” (2021). Health Essentials.  Cleveland Clinic.  Access here

Managing Your Teen’s Anger

Parenting has challenges that differ throughout the development of one’s child. Unique challenges can present themselves with different ages.  Some parents may be better with babies, while other parents may have better skills with teenagers.  Ultimately, being able to adjust to a child’s age and the changes the child goes through aids is critical to helping raise the child.   Teenage years are considered one of the most difficult times due to a variety of hormonal changes, social pressures, identity searching, and relationships with the opposite sex.   In addition, emotional outbursts and arguments are very common between parent and teen.   This strained period can be less difficult when parents are better able to maintain their anger and understand the inner psychology of their teen.

Parenting and learning how to manage an angry teen are important skills.


The article, “Take Time: Teenage anger and how to manage it” by Alisha Lalljee looks at better ways to help manage oneself as well as manage a teen’s anger.  She states,

“Adolescents are growing and changing and the hormones that drive puberty can have a big impact on mood. When children seem like they’re overreacting, it’s important to remember that they are less able to manage big feelings, like anger than adults are. The stereotype of the eye-rolling, door slamming rebellious adolescent is often played for laughs, but for parents dealing with the real thing, it’s anything but funny. Bitter outbursts, unpredictable mood swings and frequent battles about everything from school to friends to clothes to who’s going to set the table can leave parents feeling like they’re walking on eggshells. ”

“Take Time: Teenage anger and how to manage it”. Lalljee, A. (2023). The Indian Express.

To read the entire article, please access here



As parents, it is important to understand that anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. However, when anger becomes frequent, intense, or leads to destructive behaviors, it can become a cause for concern. Anger management is a crucial skill that teenagers need to develop in order to navigate through the challenges they face during this phase of their lives. By recognizing the signs and symptoms of anger issues in teens, parents can help their children develop effective strategies for anger management.

Signs and symptoms of anger issues in teens

Teenagers often struggle with effectively expressing their emotions, and anger can be one of the predominant emotions they experience. It is important for parents to be aware of the signs and symptoms that may indicate anger issues in their teens. These may include frequent outbursts of anger, physical aggression, verbal aggression, irritability, and a tendency to blame others for their problems. Additionally, teens with anger management issues may have difficulty controlling their anger and may engage in self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse or self-harm. Recognizing these signs early on can help parents intervene and support their teens in managing their anger.

The impact of anger on teens’ mental health

Uncontrolled anger can have a significant impact on a teenager’s mental health. Constant feelings of anger, when not properly managed, can lead to increased stress and anxiety in teens. It can also negatively affect their self-esteem and interpersonal relationships. Teens with anger issues may struggle with maintaining healthy friendships and may experience conflict with their peers and family members. Furthermore, uncontrolled anger can lead to impulsive decision-making, putting teens at risk for engaging in risky behaviors. It is crucial for parents to address anger management in order to prevent these negative consequences and promote their teen’s overall well-being.

How parents can help with anger management

As parents, there are several strategies you can employ to help your teen manage their anger effectively. One of the most important steps is to foster open lines of communication with your teen. Encourage them to express their emotions and thoughts without judgment. By providing a safe space for your teen to share their feelings, you can help them gain a better understanding of their anger triggers and work towards managing their emotions more effectively.

Effective strategies for anger management in teens

Parents can play a key role in helping teens and adolescents learn to manage anger in a positive way.


Teaching healthy coping mechanisms for anger is crucial for teenagers to learn how to manage their emotions. Encourage your teen to practice deep breathing exercises or engage in physical activities such as jogging or yoga to help them channel their anger in a more productive way. Additionally, teaching them problem-solving skills can empower them to find constructive solutions to the issues that trigger their anger. Encourage your teen to identify their anger triggers and work with them to develop strategies for managing their anger in those situations.

Creating a supportive and calm environment at home

The home environment plays a crucial role in teenagers’ anger management. Creating a supportive and calm atmosphere at home can significantly impact your teen’s ability to manage their anger effectively. Establish clear and consistent rules and consequences, and be mindful of your own behavior as a parent. Model healthy ways of expressing anger and resolve conflicts peacefully. Encourage open communication and active listening within the family, as this can help your teen feel heard and understood, reducing the likelihood of anger outbursts.

Seeking professional help for anger management

If your teen’s anger issues persist despite your efforts, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or therapist, can provide guidance and support for your teen in developing effective anger management strategies. They can also help identify any underlying issues that may contribute to your teen’s anger. Additionally, group therapy or anger management programs specifically designed for teenagers can offer a supportive environment for your teen to learn and practice effective anger management techniques.

Resources and tools for parents and teens

There are several resources and tools available to parents and teens to support effective anger management. Books and online resources dedicated to anger management for teenagers can provide valuable insights and strategies. Additionally, mobile applications and online courses are available to help teens develop and practice anger management techniques. Support groups and community organizations may also offer workshops or counseling services specifically tailored to teens with anger issues. Explore these resources to find the ones that best suit your teen’s needs.


Controlling anger is key in parenting. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification


Anger management is a crucial skill for teenagers to develop as they navigate the challenges of adolescence. By understanding the signs and symptoms of anger issues in teens and implementing effective strategies, parents can support their teens in managing their anger in a healthy and constructive way. Teaching healthy coping mechanisms, creating a supportive home environment, and seeking professional help when necessary are essential steps in helping teens overcome their anger issues. With patience, understanding, and the right tools, parents can empower their teens to navigate their anger and promote their overall well-being

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management Consulting.
Additional Resources
“Living With an Angry Teenager? How to Support Them — and Yourself”. Swaim. E.  (2022).  Healthline.  Access here
“Coping with an Angry Teenager”. Wallace, M. (2018). Psychology Today.  Access here
“How Parents Can Help Troubled Teens Cope With Anger”. Rudlin, K. (2020). VeryWellMind.  Access here
“7 Powerful Parenting Tips for Handling a Defiant Teen”. Ericson, K. (2022). Your Teen. Access here


Teaching Young Children Control Over Anger

Teaching children at a young age to cope with emotion and especially anger is crucial in child development.  As social beings, individuals need to learn how to properly integrate into society with their emotions.  The first place they feel and learn to manage emotion is in the home.  Parents hence play a key role in teaching children how to better cope and control emotions.  Fostering the child with love and others way to express frustration are key skills for future life.  In addition, parents can teach their children best via example.  Through emotional control and limited out bursts in the home, children can learn good and positive examples regarding anger.

Anger Management can help teach kids to manage emotions. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Program


The article, “6 Hacks to help your toddler deal with anger” from the Middleburg Observer reviews 6 ways one can help teach toddlers and young children better ways to express anger and intense emotion.  The article states,

“Toddlers are adorable bundles of energy and curiosity, but they can also have quite a temper! Dealing with a tiny tot’s anger outbursts might seem like an overwhelming task, but fear not! With a sprinkle of patience, a dash of creativity, and a lot of love, you can help your little one navigate through these fiery emotions. So, let’s dive into six ways to help your toddler deal with anger.”

“6 Hacks to help your toddler deal with anger”. Middleburg Observer. (2023).

To review the entire article, please click here


As parents and caregivers, it is important for us to understand the complex world of emotions that children experience. One of the most common emotions that children may struggle with is anger. Anger in kids can manifest in various ways and can have a significant impact on their emotional well-being. By understanding the underlying causes of anger and equipping ourselves with strategies to support them, we can help our children navigate their emotions more effectively.

The Impact of Anger on Children’s Emotional Well-being

Anger, when left unaddressed or misunderstood, can have detrimental effects on a child’s emotional well-being. It can affect their self-esteem, relationships with others, and overall mental health. Children who struggle with anger may feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and helpless. They may exhibit aggressive behaviors or withdraw from social interactions. It is crucial for us, as adults, to provide a safe and supportive environment where children can learn to manage their anger in healthy ways.

Common Triggers for Anger in Kids

Anger Management Specialists can help teach children how to manage their emotions


Understanding the triggers that can lead to anger in children is essential in helping them manage their emotions. Some common triggers for anger in kids include:

  1. Frustration: Children may become angry when they encounter obstacles or challenges that they find difficult to overcome.
  2. Lack of control: Kids may feel angry when they perceive a loss of control in their lives or when their opinions and choices are disregarded.
  3. Fatigue or hunger: Being tired or hungry can make children more prone to anger and irritability.
  4. Unmet needs: When children’s basic needs, such as attention, affection, or security, are not met, they may express their anger.
  5. Environmental factors: External factors like noise, overcrowding, or chaotic situations can contribute to feelings of anger in children.

By identifying these triggers, we can help children recognize and manage their anger in a constructive manner.

Signs and Symptoms of Anger in Children

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of anger in children is crucial in supporting them effectively. Some common signs that a child may be experiencing anger include:

  1. Physical signs: Clenched fists, raised voice, flushed face, increased heart rate, and aggressive body language.
  2. Verbal expressions: Shouting, name-calling, and using aggressive language.
  3. Behavioral changes: Aggressive behaviors towards others or objects, throwing tantrums, and refusing to comply with rules or instructions.
  4. Withdrawal: Some children may withdraw and become silent when they are angry, avoiding eye contact or isolating themselves from others.
  5. Disruptive behaviors: Children may display disruptive behaviors such as hitting, kicking, or biting when they are angry.

By being attentive to these signs, we can intervene early and provide the necessary support to help children manage their anger effectively.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Managing Anger

Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in helping children manage their anger. It involves recognizing, understanding, and regulating emotions in oneself and others. By developing emotional intelligence, children can better understand their anger, its triggers, and their own emotional responses. Here are some strategies to help children develop emotional intelligence and effectively manage their anger:

  1. Emotion identification: Encourage children to identify and label their emotions, including anger. This helps them develop a vocabulary for expressing their feelings.
  2. Emotion regulation: Teach children techniques for calming themselves down when they feel angry, such as deep breathing exercises, counting to ten, or engaging in a calming activity like drawing or listening to music.
  3. Empathy: Help children develop empathy by encouraging them to consider others’ perspectives and feelings. This can help them understand the impact of their anger on others and develop more compassionate responses.
  4. Problem-solving: Teach children problem-solving skills to help them find constructive solutions to their anger triggers. Encourage them to brainstorm alternative ways of responding to situations that make them angry.
  5. Self-reflection: Encourage children to reflect on their anger episodes and identify patterns or triggers. This self-awareness can empower them to make conscious choices in managing their anger in the future.

By fostering emotional intelligence, we can equip our children with the necessary tools to effectively manage their anger and navigate challenging emotions.

Strategies for Supporting Angry Kids in Managing their Feelings

When faced with an angry child, it is essential to provide them with the support and guidance they need to manage their feelings in a healthy way. Here are some strategies to help support angry kids:

  1. Stay calm: As adults, it is crucial for us to model calm and composed behavior when dealing with an angry child. This helps create a safe space for them to express their emotions without fear of judgment or punishment.
  2. Active listening: Practice active listening by giving the child your full attention and letting them express their feelings without interruption. Reflect back their emotions to show that you understand and empathize with them.
  3. Validation: Validate the child’s feelings by acknowledging and accepting their anger. Let them know that it is okay to feel angry but emphasize the importance of expressing it in a respectful and non-harmful manner.
  4. Teach coping skills: Teach the child healthy coping skills to manage their anger, such as deep breathing, taking a break, or using positive self-talk. Encourage them to practice these skills regularly to build resilience.
  5. Offer alternatives: Help the child identify alternative ways to express their anger, such as using words to communicate their feelings or engaging in physical activities like running or jumping to release pent-up energy.

By implementing these strategies, we can create a supportive environment where angry kids feel heard, understood, and empowered to manage their emotions.

Teaching Anger Management Skills to Children

Teaching children how to cope and deal with anger is a fundamental life skill


Teaching children effective anger management skills is a valuable investment in their emotional well-being. Here are some techniques to help children develop these skills:

  1. Identify triggers: Help children identify the specific situations or events that trigger their anger. Encourage them to keep a journal or use visual aids to track and analyze their anger triggers.
  2. Develop a calm-down plan: Work with the child to create a personalized calm-down plan that includes strategies they can use when they feel angry. This could include taking deep breaths, counting to ten, or using visualization techniques.
  3. Practice relaxation techniques: Teach children relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, or mindfulness exercises. These techniques can help them reduce stress and manage anger more effectively.
  4. Role-play: Engage in role-playing scenarios with the child to help them practice alternative ways of responding to anger triggers. Encourage them to explore different strategies and discuss the outcomes.
  5. Reinforce positive behavior: Recognize and praise the child when they manage their anger effectively. Positive reinforcement can motivate them to continue practicing their anger management skills.

By consistently teaching and reinforcing these skills, we can empower children to become more aware of their anger and develop healthy strategies for managing it.

Creating a Supportive Environment for Angry Kids

In addition to teaching anger management skills, creating a supportive environment is crucial for helping angry kids manage their emotions. Here are some ways to foster a supportive environment:

  1. Open communication: Encourage open and honest communication within the family. Create a safe space where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions and discussing challenging situations without fear of judgment or criticism.
  2. Set clear boundaries: Establish clear and consistent boundaries for behavior. Clearly communicate expectations and consequences to help children understand the limits and feel secure.
  3. Model healthy coping strategies: Be a positive role model by demonstrating healthy ways of managing anger and stress. Children learn by observing, so it is important to showcase effective coping strategies and self-regulation techniques.
  4. Encourage physical activity: Engage children in physical activities to help them release pent-up energy and reduce anger. Encouraging regular exercise can have a positive impact on their overall emotional well-being.
  5. Promote self-care: Teach children the importance of self-care and provide opportunities for them to engage in activities that bring them joy and relaxation. This can include hobbies, creative outlets, or spending time in nature.

By creating a supportive environment, we can help angry kids feel understood, valued, and equipped to manage their emotions in healthy ways.

Seeking Professional Help for Anger Management in Children

In some cases, anger in children may persist despite our best efforts to support them. It is important to recognize when professional help may be necessary. Anger Management Consultant Professionals can help.  Here are some signs that indicate the need for professional intervention:

  1. Persistent and intense anger: If a child’s anger seems excessive, intense, or lasts for extended periods, it may be a sign of underlying emotional or behavioral issues that require professional assessment.
  2. Aggressive behaviors: If a child’s anger escalates to physical aggression towards others or themselves, it is crucial to seek professional help immediately to ensure their safety and well-being.
  3. Impact on daily functioning: If a child’s anger significantly interferes with their daily life, relationships, or academic performance, it may be beneficial to consult with a mental health professional.
  4. Co-occurring difficulties: If a child’s anger is accompanied by other concerns such as depression, anxiety, or trauma, a comprehensive evaluation by a professional can help determine the best course of treatment.

Remember, seeking professional help is not a sign of failure but rather a proactive step towards helping your child develop healthy coping mechanisms and improve their overall well-being.

Conclusion: Empowering Angry Kids to Manage their Emotions

Please review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals


Supporting angry kids in managing their emotions requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to their well-being. By understanding the impact of anger on children’s emotional well-being, recognizing common triggers, and developing strategies to support them, we can empower them to navigate their emotions effectively. Teaching emotional intelligence, providing anger management skills, and creating a supportive environment are key components in helping angry kids develop healthy coping mechanisms. However, if a child’s anger persists or escalates, seeking professional help is crucial. By working together, we can unlock the emotional intelligence of angry kids and help them build a foundation for a healthier and happier future.

If you are struggling to support your child in managing their anger or if their anger is causing significant distress, it is important to seek professional help. Reach out to a mental health professional who specializes in working with children and adolescents. They can provide the guidance and support needed to address your child’s specific needs and help them develop effective coping strategies. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there is support available to empower you and your child.

Anger Management Consultants can help teach kids better management.  Licensed Counselors can also give the needed support.  Some counselors are also Anger Management Certified.

Please review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.


Additional Resources

“7 Ways to Help a Child Cope With Anger”. Morin, A, (2021). VeryWellFamily. Access here

“How to Deal With Disrespectful Adult Children”. Bernstein, J. (2020). Psychology Today.  Access here

“How to Respond to an Angry Child”. Whitson, S. (2021). Psychology Today. Access here

“Anger Management for Kids: 14 Best Activities & Worksheets”. Sutton, J. (2021). PositivePsychology.Com.  Access here


Anger Management and Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Psychological and neural issues affect multiple bad behaviors found in individuals.  While one cannot label every bad behavior as a mental issue, one cannot dismiss that some individuals with bad behaviors are stricken with imbalances within the neurotransmitters, brain development and genetics.  In regards to anger, it is critically important to control one’s temper but for those suffering from Intermittent Explosive Disorder it can be more difficult.

Some tempers are a result of Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification


Like any neurotransmitter, when something is chemically off, it can make life difficult to respond as one should.  Anxiety, depression and anger are all closely connected to neurotransmitters and proper balances such as serotonin.  When imbalances occur, individuals can have hard times emotionally controlling their behaviors.  In addition, certain issues within the amygdala can play key factors how one processes emotion.

While as a society, we do not condone violence, out bursts or tempers, it is critical to help those who suffer a disadvantage to better be equipped from a cognitive stance to cope and also if necessary receive the necessary medication to stabilize moods or treat imbalances within the neurotransmitters.  This in no way condones uncontrolled angry behavior but in some cases it helps one understand others and can provide treatment to help someone gain control of one’s life.

The article, “Intermittent Explosive Disorder” from the Cleveland Clinic takes a comprehensive view on what this disorder entails and how to better overcome it.  The article states,

“Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental health condition marked by frequent impulsive anger outbursts or aggression. The episodes are out of proportion to the situation that triggered them and cause significant distress. People with intermittent explosive disorder have a low tolerance for frustration and adversity. Outside of the anger outbursts, they have normal, appropriate behavior. The episodes could be temper tantrums, verbal arguments or physical fights or aggression.”

“Intermittent Explosive Disorder”. Cleveland Clinic. (2022).  To review the article, please click here


Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a psychiatric condition characterized by recurrent episodes of impulsive anger and aggressive outbursts. Individuals with IED often struggle to control their anger, leading to verbal or physical aggression that is out of proportion to the situation. These explosive episodes can cause significant distress and impairment in various areas of life, including relationships, work, and overall well-being.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), outlines the criteria for diagnosing IED. To receive a diagnosis, an individual must have recurrent episodes of verbal or physical aggression at least twice a week for a period of three months. The outbursts must be disproportionate to the provocation, and the individual must experience a sense of relief or satisfaction immediately after the outburst. It is essential to remember that occasional anger or irritability is not sufficient for an IED diagnosis.

Symptoms and diagnosis of intermittent explosive disorder

The symptoms of IED can vary from person to person, but common signs include intense anger, rage, and aggression. These outbursts may be triggered by seemingly minor incidents or frustrations, and the individual may feel unable to control their emotions. Physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, and trembling may also accompany these episodes. After the outburst, individuals with IED often experience feelings of guilt, remorse, and shame.

Frequent, unplanned, impulsive angry reactions to frustrations not warranting an emotional response are signs of IED


Diagnosing IED involves a thorough evaluation by a mental health professional. The clinician will assess the individual’s history of anger and aggression, including the frequency and severity of outbursts. They will also consider other potential causes for the anger, ruling out any underlying medical conditions or substance abuse. It is crucial to undergo a comprehensive assessment to ensure an accurate diagnosis and appropriate treatment plan.

Causes and risk factors of intermittent explosive disorder

The exact cause of IED is unknown, but a combination of biological, genetic, and environmental factors is believed to contribute to its development. Some studies suggest that abnormalities in the brain’s serotonin and dopamine pathways may play a role in the regulation of anger and aggression. Genetic factors may also influence the risk of developing IED, as individuals with a family history of the disorder are more likely to experience it themselves.

Certain environmental factors can increase the risk of developing IED. These may include a history of childhood trauma or abuse, exposure to violence or aggression during early development, or growing up in a chaotic or unpredictable environment. Additionally, individuals with certain personality traits, such as impulsivity or low frustration tolerance, may be more susceptible to experiencing intermittent explosive episodes.

The impact of intermittent explosive disorder on individuals and their relationships

IED can have a profound impact on individuals and their relationships. The frequent outbursts of anger and aggression can strain personal relationships, leading to conflicts, isolation, and even the breakdown of partnerships or friendships. The unpredictable nature of these explosive episodes can create fear and uncertainty among loved ones, causing them to walk on eggshells or avoid triggering situations. The individual with IED may also experience feelings of guilt, shame, and regret after an outburst, further exacerbating the emotional toll of the disorder.

In addition to the strain on relationships, IED can also affect various areas of an individual’s life. It can lead to difficulties at work or school, as the outbursts may result in disciplinary actions or strained professional relationships. Individuals with IED may also struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of frustration due to their inability to control their anger. Overall, the impact of IED on an individual’s life can be significant, affecting their mental health, well-being, and overall quality of life.

Treatment options for intermittent explosive disorder

Fortunately, there are effective treatment options available for individuals with IED. The primary goal of treatment is to help individuals gain control over their anger and reduce the frequency and severity of explosive episodes. Treatment approaches may include a combination of medication, psychotherapy, and anger management techniques.

Medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) or mood stabilizers may be prescribed to help regulate mood and reduce impulsive behavior. Psychotherapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Additionally, anger management techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques, can empower individuals to manage their anger more effectively.

It is essential to work closely with a mental health professional to develop an individualized treatment plan tailored to specific needs and circumstances. With the right treatment and support, individuals with IED can gain control over their anger, improve their relationships, and enhance their overall well-being.

Anger management techniques for individuals with intermittent explosive disorder

For individuals with intermittent explosive disorder (IED), learning effective anger management techniques is crucial in gaining control over their anger and reducing the frequency and severity of explosive episodes. Here are some strategies that can be helpful:

Anger Management techniques can help one learn to cope with IED


  1. Recognize triggers: Identifying the situations, thoughts, or emotions that trigger anger can help individuals anticipate and prepare for potential outbursts. This self-awareness allows for the implementation of coping strategies before anger escalates.
  2. Practice deep breathing: Deep breathing exercises help regulate emotions and promote relaxation. Take slow, deep breaths in through the nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through the mouth. Repeat this process several times until feelings of anger subside.
  3. Utilize relaxation techniques: Engaging in relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery can help individuals manage anger more effectively. These techniques promote a sense of calm and reduce the physiological arousal associated with anger.
  4. Engage in physical activity: Regular exercise can serve as a healthy outlet for anger and stress. Engaging in physical activity helps release pent-up energy and promotes the release of endorphins, which can improve mood and reduce anger.
  5. Practice effective communication: Learning assertive communication skills can prevent anger from escalating into aggression. Expressing feelings and needs in a calm and respectful manner can help resolve conflicts and improve relationships.

Remember, managing anger takes time and practice. It is essential to be patient with oneself and seek support from mental health professionals who can provide guidance and assistance throughout the journey.

Coping strategies for loved ones of individuals with intermittent explosive disorder

Living with a loved one who has intermittent explosive disorder (IED) can be challenging and overwhelming. It is crucial for family members, friends, and partners to develop effective coping strategies to navigate the unique challenges that arise. Here are some strategies that can be helpful:

  1. Education and understanding: Educate yourself about IED, its symptoms, and triggers. Understanding the nature of the disorder can help you develop empathy and compassion towards your loved one, reducing feelings of frustration or confusion.
  2. Set boundaries: Establish clear and healthy boundaries to protect your emotional and physical well-being. Communicate your limits and expectations in a calm and assertive manner, ensuring that you prioritize your own needs.
  3. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential when supporting someone with IED. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time with supportive friends and family. Prioritize self-care to maintain your own mental and emotional well-being.
  4. Seek support: Reach out to support groups or therapy for yourself. Connecting with others who are in similar situations can provide a sense of understanding and validation. Professional therapy can also offer guidance and coping strategies to navigate the challenges of living with someone with IED.
  5. Encourage treatment: Encourage your loved one to seek professional help and engage in treatment for IED. Support them in finding a mental health professional who specializes in anger management or IED. Be patient and understanding as they navigate the treatment process, offering encouragement and reassurance.

Remember, supporting someone with IED can be challenging, but it is essential to prioritize your own well-being while providing support. By implementing these coping strategies, you can maintain a healthy balance and contribute to the overall well-being of both yourself and your loved one.

Support groups and resources for individuals with intermittent explosive disorder

For individuals with intermittent explosive disorder (IED), connecting with support groups and accessing available resources can be instrumental in their journey towards recovery. Here are some options to consider:

Anger Counseling can play a key role in learning to control IED but in some cases, medication is required to help the individual successfully incorporate oneself into life


  1. Online support groups: Joining online support groups specific to IED can provide a safe space to share experiences, concerns, and coping strategies with others who understand the challenges associated with the disorder. Websites like PsychForums and DailyStrength offer online communities for individuals with IED and their loved ones.
  2. Local support groups: Seek out local support groups or therapy groups that focus on anger management or IED. These groups offer the opportunity to connect with others facing similar struggles, share experiences, and learn from one another. Local mental health organizations or community centers may have information on available support groups in your area.
  3. Therapy: Engaging in individual therapy or group therapy with a mental health professional who specializes in IED can be highly beneficial. Therapists can provide guidance, support, and evidence-based interventions to help individuals manage their anger and develop healthier coping strategies.
  4. Books and literature: There are various books and literature available that provide valuable insights and practical advice for individuals with IED. Some recommended titles include “The Explosive Child” by Ross W. Greene and “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner. These resources can offer valuable tools and perspectives for managing anger.
  5. National organizations: National organizations such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) may offer resources, helplines, or referral services for individuals with IED and their loved ones. These organizations can provide up-to-date information and connect individuals with appropriate support.

Remember, reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and connecting with others who understand your struggles can provide a sense of validation and empowerment. By utilizing these support groups and resources, individuals with IED can access valuable tools and support in their journey towards managing anger and improving their overall well-being.

The importance of seeking professional help for intermittent explosive disorder

Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a complex mental health condition that requires professional intervention and support. Seeking professional help is essential for several reasons:

  1. Accurate diagnosis: A mental health professional can conduct a comprehensive evaluation and accurately diagnose IED. Proper diagnosis is crucial in developing an individualized treatment plan that addresses the specific needs and challenges associated with the disorder.
  2. Treatment options: Mental health professionals specialize in providing evidence-based treatments for IED. They can prescribe medications, offer psychotherapy, and teach anger management techniques that have been proven effective in reducing the frequency and severity of explosive episodes.
  3. Monitoring and support: Regular appointments with a mental health professional allow for ongoing monitoring of symptoms and progress. They can provide the necessary support, guidance, and adjustments to treatment plans as needed. Continued therapy sessions also offer a safe space for individuals to discuss their experiences, emotions, and challenges.
  4. Education and coping strategies: Mental health professionals can educate individuals about IED, its causes, and its impact. They can also teach coping strategies and techniques to help manage anger and develop healthier ways of expressing emotions. This knowledge and skill-building are vital in empowering individuals to take control of their anger and improve their overall well-being.
  5. Improved quality of life: Seeking professional help for IED can significantly improve an individual’s quality of life. Treatment can reduce the frequency and severity of explosive episodes, leading to better relationships, improved work performance, and increased overall well-being.

Remember, there is no shame in seeking professional help for IED. It is a courageous step towards taking control of one’s anger and improving overall mental health. Mental health professionals are trained to provide the necessary support and guidance needed for individuals with IED to lead fulfilling and happier lives.


Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a challenging mental health condition characterized by recurrent episodes of impulsive anger and aggressive outbursts. It can have a profound impact on individuals and their relationships, leading to distress, impaired functioning, and emotional turmoil. However, with proper diagnosis and treatment, individuals with IED can gain control over their anger and improve their overall well-being.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program


Understanding the symptoms, causes, and risk factors of IED is essential in addressing the disorder effectively. Treatment options, including medication, psychotherapy, and anger management techniques, can empower individuals to manage their anger more effectively and reduce the frequency of explosive episodes. Support groups, resources, and professional help are also critical in providing guidance, education, and ongoing support.

By promoting understanding, empathy, and access to appropriate resources, we can create a supportive environment for individuals with IED and their loved ones. Together, we can help unleash the power of anger management and improve the lives of those affected by intermittent explosive disorder. Seek professional help, educate yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support. It is never too late to take control of your anger and live a healthier, happier life.


Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking four year certification in Anger Management


“Intermittent Explosive Disorder”. Cleveland Clinic. (2022).

Additional Resources

“Intermittent Explosive Disorder”. Mayo Clinic. (2018). Access here

“Intermittent Explosive Disorder”. Psychology Today Staff. (2019).  Psychology Today. Access here

“What Is Intermittent Explosive Disorder?”. Bottaro, A. (2019). VeryWellHealth. Access here

“Intermittent Explosive Disorder”. Vandergriendt, C. (2018). Healthline. Access here


Anger and Emotional Avoidance

Anger sometimes builds up within an individual.  One way anger can build is through emotional avoidance.  Whether the individual is avoiding one’s emotions or whether the individual is ignoring others, avoidance can cause a build up of anger and frustration.  When other emotions are not dealt with or recognized in others, it can lead to issues in how one reacts.  The vent up emotional energy finds it outlet via anger.

Emotional Avoidance can lead to anger issues. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification


It is hence important to be more open with oneself and others regarding emotion , as well as, recognizing others emotional needs and not hiding from them.  Unfortunately avoidance is not always about being selfish but is usually due to a trauma where individuals are uncomfortable facing emotion.  Anger is hence a side effect of that neglect of emotional recognition.  The article,”How Emotional Avoidance Contributes to Anger” by Bernard Golden, PhD.  looks closer at how emotional avoidance can lead to anger.  He state regarding emotional avoidance that…

“It is then no surprise that we may be more vulnerable to tension and conflict within ourselves and have related irritability with others and ourselves. It is this irritability that can foster a propensity for anger arousal, anger that serves as a reaction to and distraction from such tension. It directs our attention outward, attributes responsibility to others, or may lead us to displace our anger toward others. In each instance, it moves us further away from true connection with and understanding of ourselves.”

Golden, B. (2023). How Emotional Avoidance Contributes to Anger.  Psychology Today.

To review the entire article, please click here


Golden further discusses various ways one can become less detached from one’s emotions and how to take a more conscious step towards recognizing them and also validating emotions in others.  In dealing with emotional avoidance and preventing anger, there are numerous ways to better become more in touch with oneself through mindfulness, journaling and finding someone within a circle of trust that one can share emotions with.

Understanding Emotional Avoidance

Emotional avoidance refers to the tendency to suppress or ignore our emotions rather than facing them head-on. It is a defense mechanism that many people employ to protect themselves from pain, discomfort, or vulnerability. However, while it may provide temporary relief, emotional avoidance can have serious long-term consequences for our mental health and overall well-being.  Long term anger issues can result by burying emotions.

The Impact of Emotional Avoidance on Mental Health

It is important to recognize and address emotions within oneself to avoid future stress, depression, anger and anxiety


Emotional avoidance can have a detrimental effect on our mental health. When we consistently avoid our emotions, they tend to build up and intensify over time. This can lead to increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches. Additionally, emotional avoidance prevents us from gaining insight into our own thoughts and feelings, hindering personal growth and self-awareness.

Signs and Symptoms of Emotional Avoidance

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of emotional avoidance is crucial in order to address and overcome this harmful pattern. Some common signs of emotional avoidance include excessive busyness or workaholism, substance abuse or addictive behaviors, chronic irritability or anger, and a general sense of emotional numbness or disconnection. If you find yourself constantly avoiding or suppressing your emotions, it is important to take a step back and evaluate the impact this may be having on your overall well-being.

The Dangers of Suppressing Emotions

Suppressing or bottling up our emotions may seem like a convenient way to avoid discomfort. However, the long-term consequences can be severe. When we suppress our emotions, they don’t simply disappear; instead, they linger beneath the surface, affecting our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. Suppressing emotions can lead to increased stress levels, decreased immune function, and a higher risk of developing mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression.  Anger can also over time build up when emotions are not properly handled and addressed. It is essential to recognize the dangers of emotional suppression and take proactive steps to address our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.

The Benefits of Confronting Emotions

Those who avoid emotions and the emotions of others eventually feel issues of anger from within


While confronting our emotions may initially seem daunting, it is a necessary step towards personal growth and well-being. When we confront our emotions, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our needs. This self-awareness allows us to make better decisions, form healthier relationships, and cultivate a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness. Additionally, confronting our emotions provides an opportunity for healing and growth, allowing us to process past traumas and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and resilience.

Techniques for Confronting and Processing Emotions

Confronting and processing emotions can be challenging, but there are various techniques that can help facilitate this important work. One effective technique is journaling, where you can express and explore your emotions in a safe and non-judgmental space. Another technique is mindfulness, which involves being fully present and accepting of your emotions without judgment. This allows you to observe and acknowledge your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can also provide valuable guidance and perspective as you navigate your emotional journey.

Overcoming the Fear of Facing Emotions

Many individuals avoid confronting their emotions out of fear. The fear of being overwhelmed, judged, or rejected can be powerful barriers to emotional healing. However, it is important to remember that emotions are a natural part of the human experience, and suppressing them only prolongs our suffering. Overcoming the fear of facing emotions involves challenging negative beliefs and adopting a compassionate and nurturing mindset towards ourselves. It may also be helpful to seek professional help or join support groups where you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

Seeking Professional Help for Emotional Avoidance

If emotional avoidance has become deeply ingrained and is significantly impacting your daily life, seeking professional help can be a crucial step towards healing. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support as you navigate your emotional journey. They can help you identify underlying patterns and beliefs that contribute to emotional avoidance and provide you with effective strategies for confronting and processing your emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather a courageous step towards self-improvement and well-being.  Anger Management Consultants can also help with any anger issues relating from emotional avoidance.

Creating a Healthy Emotional Well-being Routine

In addition to seeking professional help, creating a healthy emotional well-being routine can greatly support your journey towards confronting and processing your emotions. This routine may include activities such as regular exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, engaging in hobbies or creative outlets, and prioritizing self-care. It is important to find what works best for you and to make these practices a consistent part of your daily life. By nurturing your emotional well-being, you are investing in your overall happiness and long-term mental health.

Conclusion: Embracing Emotions for a Happier and Healthier Life

In conclusion, emotional avoidance may provide temporary relief, but it ultimately hinders our personal growth and well-being. By confronting and processing our emotions, we gain insight, resilience, and a greater capacity for joy and fulfillment. It is essential to recognize the signs of emotional avoidance, understand the dangers of suppressing our emotions, and take proactive steps towards embracing and processing our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Remember, seeking professional help and creating a healthy emotional well-being routine are vital components of this journey. By prioritizing our emotional well-being, we can live happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Anger Management Consultants can help individuals face emotions and also deal with undealt with anger


CTA: If you find yourself struggling with emotional avoidance, reach out to a therapist or counselor who can provide the support and guidance you need on your journey towards emotional well-being. Remember, you deserve to live a life that is not defined by avoidance, but rather by courage and self-discovery.

Anger Management Consultants can also help individuals face anger issues resulting from emotional avoidance.  Please review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consultant Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management Consulting.


Additional Readings

“Repressed Anger and Emotional Avoidance: 5 Ways to Find the Positive in Negative Emotion”. Riddle, J. (2019). Psycom.  Access here

“8 Ways People Avoid Their Emotions”. Boyes, A. (2021) Psychology Today.  Access here

“5 Symptoms of Repressed Anger”. Lo, I. (2022). Psychology Today.  Access here

“Repressing Emotions: 10 Ways to Reduce Emotional Avoidance”. Attard. A. (2020). PositivePsychology.com.  Access here

The Four Temperamants and Anger

Temperaments dictate a person’s personality and also how they interact with other individuals.  Temperaments can be dominant, passive, outgoing, or more sensitive.  A person’s personality overall is far more broad than a temperament and includes many more types of traits.  Personalities are more likely to change over time while a temperament is far harder to alter.  Temperaments form at a young age and remain a constant.  Individuals can still alter their temperament, but this takes serious time and effort.

One’s temperament plays a key role in how one responds with anger. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification


A temperament also plays a large role with how one responds to anger and rage.   Individuals who are naturally more laid back obviously will control anger and emotion far greater than someone who is more dominant or emotional.  How temperaments affect one’s anger is key.  This is why it is essential for individuals to understand their own temperament to better regulate their own emotions.  Anger Management techniques emphasize understanding one’s own temperament to better access one’s proneness to rage.

The article, “Temperaments: Which of the 4 Types Are You?” by Toketemu Ohwovoriole looks at the four temperaments of choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic.  The article also helps one determine what temperament they may possess.  Ultimately, since human beings are so unique, they may have different temperament traits intermixed with one temperament the more dominant one and another far less manifested.  The article states,

“Human beings are diverse and complex individuals. No single person fits squarely under one particular type. However, you are likely to exhibit behaviors associated with one style primarily; this could be referred to as your dominant temperament. You may also have less prevalent behaviors that belong to other temperament types.  For instance, a person may exhibit behaviors that come across as moody, stoic, and reserved, which are characteristically melancholic but can also be dominant and assertive, which are characteristically choleric.”

“Temperaments: Which of the 4 Types Are You?”. Toketemu Ohwovoriole.  March 14th, 2023. Yahoo News.

To read the entire article, please click here


The concept of the four temperaments dates back to ancient Greece, where physicians and philosophers believed that our personality was determined by the balance of bodily fluids or “humors.” The four temperaments were named after these bodily fluids, which were blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. The theory was that an excess or deficiency of any of these fluids would result in a particular temperament.

Over time, the four temperaments evolved into a psychological concept that described our inherent characteristics. The four temperaments are sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic. Each temperament represents a unique set of traits and characteristics that influence our behavior, emotions, and social interactions.

History and Background of the Four Temperaments

The earliest known mention of the four temperaments was by Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, who described them in his medical works. He believed that our temperament was influenced by the balance of bodily fluids and that each temperament was associated with a particular bodily fluid. The four temperaments gained popularity during the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, where they were used to describe the characters in literature and art.

In the 20th century, the four temperaments gained a new interpretation through the works of Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst. Jung believed that our temperament was determined by our innate psychological preferences, such as the way we perceive and process information. He also developed the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a tool that helps individuals identify their psychological preferences and personality type.

Understanding the Four Temperaments

Sanguine Temperament

The sanguine temperament is associated with the bodily fluid blood and is characterized by a lively and outgoing personality. Sanguine individuals are sociable, talkative, and optimistic. They enjoy being around people and are excellent at making new friends. They are also creative, imaginative, and have a good sense of humor.

However, sanguine individuals can also be impulsive, disorganized, and have difficulty focusing on tasks. They may struggle with deadlines and may have difficulty following through on commitments.

Choleric Temperament

The choleric temperament is associated with the bodily fluid yellow bile and is characterized by a driven and goal-oriented personality. Choleric individuals are confident, assertive, and decisive. They are natural leaders and are excellent at making quick decisions. They are also ambitious, competitive, and enjoy taking risks.

A choleric temperament is more prone to impatience and frustration.


However, choleric individuals can also be impatient, argumentative, and may struggle with anger and frustration. They may have difficulty listening to others and may come across as insensitive.

Melancholic Temperament

The melancholic temperament is associated with the bodily fluid black bile and is characterized by a sensitive and introspective personality. Melancholic individuals are analytical, thoughtful, and detail-oriented. They are excellent at problem-solving and can see things from multiple perspectives. They are also empathetic, compassionate, and have a deep understanding of human emotions.

However, melancholic individuals can also be moody, anxious, and may struggle with self-doubt. They may have difficulty making decisions and may experience analysis paralysis.

Phlegmatic Temperament

The phlegmatic temperament is associated with the bodily fluid phlegm and is characterized by a calm and peaceful personality. Phlegmatic individuals are easy-going, relaxed, and have a laid-back attitude. They are excellent at maintaining social harmony and avoiding conflict. They are also patient, empathetic, and have a good sense of humor.

However, phlegmatic individuals can also be indecisive, passive, and may struggle with procrastination. They may have difficulty taking action and may need external motivation to get things done.

Discovering Your Temperament

Understanding your temperament is essential for personal growth and development. There are several assessments and tools available that can help you identify your temperament type. One of the most popular tools is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which categorizes individuals into 16 personality types based on their preferences for perceiving and judging information.

To better manage one’s anger, it is key to know one’s dominant or primary temperament


Other tools include the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, which categorizes individuals into four temperament types based on their communication and social styles, and the Enneagram, which categorizes individuals into nine personality types based on their core motivations and fears.  In discovering one’s temperament, one can better access how anger plays a role in one’s life.

Applying Knowledge of Your Temperament in Personal and Professional Settings

Once you have identified your temperament type, you can use this knowledge to improve your personal and professional relationships. For example, if you are a sanguine individual, you may need to work on your organizational skills and focus to improve your productivity. If you are a choleric individual, you may need to work on your listening skills and emotional intelligence to improve your interpersonal relationships.

In the workplace, understanding your temperament can help you communicate effectively with your colleagues and improve your teamwork skills. For example, if you are a phlegmatic individual, you may be an excellent mediator and peacemaker in conflict resolution situations.

Conclusion – Embracing Your Unique Temperament for Personal Growth and Success

In conclusion, understanding your temperament is essential for personal growth and success. By identifying your temperament type, you can gain insight into your personality, behavior, and social interactions. You can use this knowledge to improve your personal and professional relationships and achieve your goals. Embrace your unique temperament and use it as a tool for self-improvement and personal growth.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consultant Certification program to help others learn how to better manage their own anger


Anger is a natural emotion.  Those who are more prone to it through their temperament need to be aware of this.  Through awareness of temperament, individuals can better manage themselves and anger.  Knowing thyself is always key!

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals looking to help others manage their anger.

Additional Resources

“Is There an Angry Personality?”. Steven Stosney, PhD. November 30th, 2020.  Psychology Today.  Access here

“Anger and the Four Personality Type Strategies”. Gina Barreca. 16Personalites.  Access here

“Anger Issues: Nature vs Nurture–Why Does it Matter?”. Bernard Golden. October 8th, 2018.

“Why Am I So Angry?”. Erica Cirino. March 30th, 2023. HealthLine.  Access here


Abuse In Relationships

Abuse occurs in relationships too commonly.   Physical abuse receives the most recognition due to the danger to women, but abuse in relationships occur mentally and emotionally as well.  Both genders are equal culprits in how they treat their significant other.  Emotional abuse goes unnoticed for many years and can add a mental price on the other person.  It is important to identify mental abuse and find solutions to end it via better boundaries, counseling or leaving the situation.  Of course if physical abuse occurs, it is critical to remove oneself immediately, find help or call the police.

Abuse in relationships can be physical and emotional. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification


AIHCP also offers an Anger Management Certification for qualified professionals seeking to help others deal and cope with anger.  The Anger Management Program is online and independent study.  If interested, then please review the program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The video below looks at anger and abuse in relationships and how to identity it but also looks into why abusers abuse both emotionally and physically.

Please review the video below