In sports there are expectations by players and fans alike. When those expectations are not met there is a sense of loss. Grief is common in sports. Noone likes to lose a game and while it builds character there can be some sadness. Too much sadness or extreme emotional distress are signs of deeper issues
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling
Marriage is the foundation stone of society. Through the social contract, couples come together and bring forth future generations within the bounds of society. Strong family units produce strong individuals in the society who can benefit society with their unique talents. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification
God elevated this union beyond the natural order to a supernatural contract and oath to each other. He sanctified it in the Garden of Eden and elevated it through the words of Christ that the union can never be broken unless fear of adultery. Scripture proclaims, a man shall leave his mother and take on another and both will become one and in the epistles, Paul teaches that the love between husband and wife is like that of Christ and the Church. Christian Counseling can help others deal with divorce better.
Christian marriage is a spiritual vow that transcends the natural contract of marriage.
With such strong words from Christ, scripture, and Paul, the foundations for Christian marriage were laid. Within Catholic and Orthodox circles, it was a sacrament, while in Protestant circles it was in the very least a sacred obligation. Society has attempted to weaken this natural and supernatural building rock of society. Divorce, same sex marriage, and polygamy all look to weaken the institution and society itself. The attempt to separate the supernatural element instilled by God to a merely natural contract is on display.
With the readiness of divorce, infidelity plays no small penalty for the secular mind. Divorce rips apart family units and leaves many children left without strong guidance to help create a better society. The attack on the family has already begun and continues to rage.
In the midst of such chaos, the Christian Counselor is left with many divorced Christians and individuals seeking solace and wholeness. Not only do these individuals suffer from the initial loss of a spouse, but they also suffer from a variety of secondary losses, including children, pets, possessions, income and new integration into new life styles.
Divorce sometimes is a reality to the Christian, albeit an unwanted one. Many Christians may feel marked and ashamed with such titles within their own community and family structure. They may feel as if they failed in some way. Other Christians may remarry and feel as if black sheep for taking upon another spouse. In Catholic and Orthodox churches, remarriage without annulment is forbidden. This leads to a whole new type of ministry. Hence, the divorced and those who decide to remarry within Christianity represent a large group of the displaced within the faith. While in Protestantism, remarriage is permissible for due reason of adultery, it still creates issues with blended homes and still the over all loss of the original marriage.
Within Catholicism and Orthodoxy, the words of Christ echo strongly that no-one may ever remarry. The exception clause within Matthew is not regarded as a license to remarry. Only in Matthew is it mentioned and it never again is mentioned in the Epistles. Many biblical scholars look at the interpretation, translation and the fact it was targeted to only the Jewish community to mean something different. This leaves the Catholic and Orthodox church with many remarried couples that can become a pastoral concern.
Christian Counselors need to understand their plight. Pope Francis recently wrote at length the pastoral concerns of these “black sheep”. While many may marry as if they are dating, there are some who have unjustly been dealt. Pope Francis pointed this out in his encyclical on the “Joy of Love” where he looks at the emergency pastoral issue within the Catholic Church. He asked some very critical questions regarding the fate of these couples. While remaining faithful to Christ’s words, he still pondered about those who remarry due to abuse, or those who were left with nothing after a spouse totally rejected them. He also looked at the annulments that were not properly administered due to finance or local corruption within the tribunal.
Francis pointed out that many couples who remarried have moved on to a second relationship and now have grandchildren from this union. They have remained faithful, albeit, outside the grace of the sacrament. Pastorally, how does one deal with such families? Each situation requires careful and deliberate reflection between confessor and couple with the highest regards for the Eucharist.
It is important to note for those not familiar with Catholic doctrine that an annulment is based on theology that centers around a vow. A vow is a free choice with knowledge and understanding of the commitment. When a vow is exchanged between a man and woman it is seen as binding when conditions certain conditions are met. If certain conditions or secrets or distress are later discovered, then a marriage can be seen as never existing. One example includes being forced to marry someone and not possessing complete autonomy in the decision. Another example is a secret regarding the individual. Maybe the individual was cheating before the vow and had no intention of remaining faithful. Maybe the person lied about being baptized. Maybe the person hid a past life of murder, abuse and other criminal activity. Maybe the person lied about ability to have children or desire to have children. The primary point is the issue is an “a priori” problem that was unknown before the vow. Fortunately, many more annulments are issued more than once before within the Church. Investigations can discover these things.
However, after the fact offenses or failures of a spouse do not fall under the guise of an annulment. Infidelity that is not planned or a simple mistake does not invalidate a vow. This does not mean one cannot civilly divorce, but within the interpretation of the Gospels, one cannot remarry afterwards, or they would as Christ points out, find themselves in adultery. Many divorce for simpler reasons such as family or finance. The generation of divorce is a replacement generation not a fix it generation.
Within Protestant theology, one may remarry over grave reasons, but this has even led to individuals thinking if they commit a grave offense, then they can become freed from a contract. Many Protestant circles even with their exception clause have become more liberal in permitting divorce within their congregations.
These issues have led to more divorce within Christianity and has created a large pastoral issue for both Catholic and Protestant circles. While the world mirrors a secular version of marriage, it is up to Christian communities to commit to the values of Christ regarding marriage. It is up to Christian communities to promote the permanence of the Christian vow.
Prayer is essential for any couple. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification
Prior to marriage, Christian Counselors, pastors and family can help young couples discover the importance of marriage and the serious nature of the vow. Pre-Cana is also an excellent way to learn about family issues from other couples, as well as teach young couples the unglamorous aspects of marriage. Learning to prayer together and attend liturgy and service together is an important step in engagement. The young couple needs to investigate and learn about each other. They need to realize that marriage is also a spiritual vocation that is not about just this world, but helping each other to reach the next world. It is a joint vocational marriage to hold each accountable to Christ.
Prayer and God must remain in the family for it to succeed. The modern war on the family has attempted to strip Christ from marriage. It important then that Christians re-introduce Christ to marriage and share the beauty of Christian marriage to the world.
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Christian Counseling.
The odds of other alien life in an infinite universe should be very high. Sentient life while less common, should still be well represented. Scientists and theorists have calculated mathematical probabilities of life and all points to it, but why has humanity yet to experience an encounter? Has it already happened but is forgotten? Is it a secret? Or, is it simply a filtering effect where the probabilities of life becoming sentient did not work out on other worlds like on Earth? Yet, still, is it merely too large of a universe for sentient civilizations to ever meet?
Theologically, Christianity is open to the notion of other life because one cannot limit God in His grand plan, but how would other life fit into the narrative of humanity? The video below looks at some theological questions that could arise.
Discipleship is a key element in Christianity. Jesus calls all to take up their cross and follow Him. Originally Jesus chose the 12 and the other close followers. All were considered disciples but only the 12 were consider apostles with a special mission to guide the Church. Yet each had a unique discipleship and calling, whether of the 12 or merely a close follower. As Christians today, we also have a unique discipleship and calling. We are called to bear witness but to also utilize our special talents given to us by the Holy Spirit to share the Gospel and build the Mystical Body of Christ. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification
Jesus calls us to make new disciples and followers. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification
The article, “How Did Jesus ‘Make Disciples’?” by David Mathis looks closer at the process of discipleship then and today. He states,
“Jesus, the Master, had called them to follow him, and for more than three years, in setting after setting, in private homes and in the midst of great crowds, walking long journeys between towns and enjoying unhurried meals — one conversation at a time, one day at a time — Jesus had discipled them. Christ himself showed them the Christian life, inside and out, in public teaching and private prayer. Now they too were to make disciples.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.
Essential oils play a large role in alternative and medicine. They can help heal and also prevent a variety of health issues. It is however important to always remember to consult with your primary physician before utilizing any health product. Holistic and Integrative Healthcare Specialists can also help guide one down the safe and most beneficial path. Please also review AIHCP’s Holistic and Integrative Healthcare Specialist Program
There are numerous essential oils with health benefits. Please also review AIHCP’s Holistic and Integrative Healthcare Specialist Program
The article, “What Are Essential Oils? A Complete Guide on Aromatherapy and Its Potential Health Benefits” by Lauren Bedosky looks at what essential oils are and their benefits. She states,
“Essential oils are everywhere. These potent, fragrant plant extracts have made their way into lotions, household cleaners, massage treatments, and even integrative complementary therapy to help manage cancer symptoms. Their purported benefits are also wide ranging, from improving sleep and decreasing anxiety, to lowering pain and easing headaches, to taming a queasy stomach and fostering deeper relaxation.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Holistic and Integrative Healthcare Specialist Program and see if it meets your academic needs. Nurses and other qualified professionals can earn a four year certification by completing the required online and independent study courses
Problems occur within any plans. It is part of life. Support groups are not immune. Despite the best plan, the best curriculum, and best training, one still will encounter various issues within a support group. If flexible and organized, most issues will not be objectively with the set up or the schedule, but will instead come from within. With so many personalities and the issue of grief itself, there will be bumps in the road. Individuals will have certain needs or react different ways. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program
Pre-screening the group can help. Discovering individuals who do not want to be there or who are not ready to be there is important, but they still can slip through and issues can arise. Within even the perfect set up, various red flags can emerge. There may be an unwillingness for most to speak, or long winded individuals. Some members may be more focused on themselves, or others may feel the group is not helping. As the leader of the group, it is important to know when to stop and discuss to others privately and how to deal with conflict during the meeting itself. Please review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Support Group Program
Numerous red flags can emerge within a support group. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your goals
If preparation for meetings is present, there is still the chance expectations may not meet the desires of group members. If this is not rectified, then the group is doomed to failure. It is important for everyone to be on the same page and have a clear understanding of objectives. This is why is it so important to lay out the schedule and plan, identify the grieving process and help others along the process.
Alan Wolfert describes a variety of problem personalities that can cause issues in a group if it is not met with strong leadership.
One type of personality is an absent one. This individual misses the majority of meetings or does not do homework. Some are just to numb from the loss to share. One way to to prevent this is to make the effort to include everyone in the meeting and their importance. Creating safe ways to introduce this individual to the meeting is key. Sometimes helping this individual privately is also important. As long as they are present, sometimes, their passive nature can be permitted as long as the leader understand the member is understanding the process.
An individual who was forced to join the group can be a big problem. This type of individual will not be receptive and remain standoffish. Many times, they are only entering the group to please others. It is important to pre-screen this type of individual but if not, one needs to try to make the person feel as welcome as possible. If things do not improve, a private meeting with an option to leave the group may be the only alternative.
Other individuals can the opposite problem. Many of these personalities may push their own agenda. Some may consider themselves experts on grief. Initially, this may be a self defense mechanism. However, a know it all can be detrimental to the group. Sometimes it is best to thank this type of individual for their knowledge, but to push it to how the individual feels. Try to pull out the feeling, not their intellect. Others love to give advice. Advice obviously as a ground rule is something only given upon request, but many feel the need to advice others. It is important to correct unsolicited advice in a kind and gentle manner.
Some individuals like to preach. Their preaching may be long winded as well as unwanted. Many ways this prevents anyone from every knowing what he or she feels. It important to keep the question on this individual in how he or she feels, not how others should feel. Closely related to this or highly spiritual and judgmental individuals who believe everyone should believe the way they do. It is important to maintain a spiritual atmosphere but also a conclusive one. An individual who looks to push his or her own religious agenda as a way to cope can be detrimental to the group.
In addition, there are personalities who blame, challenge and interrupt. Obviously these types of attitudes cause chaos. One pushes blame away from the source of grief, while the other challenges the competency of the leader, as well as prevents others from sharing. It is important to not tolerate any type of interruptions and abide by rules of the group. In regards to challengers, it is important to hear it, but to not allow it to force a debate with you as a leader with a group member. It is important to not be defensive and allow the group to see through the charade of the challenger.
Understanding the various needs of the support group can help guide everyone through the grief process. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program
Other individuals will try to avoid the grief work through other ways. They will ramble about things not related to the grief work or look to socialize. Many of these attitudes are shields to avoid their own pain, so again, it needs to be stopped but in a gentle and caring way. It is important to keep the group on track and ready.
As a group leader, there will be plenty of challenges in merely planning and organizing the meeting but there are always issues that can arise within the group itself. Be easy on oneself if it is first time conducting a group. Evaluate oneself truthfully and see how one managed the problems. As time continues and one gathers more group experience, one will be better equipped and ready to identify these group distractions and better handle them.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Source: ” The Understanding Your Grief Support Group Guide: Starting and Leading a Bereavement Support Group” by Alan Wolfert, PhD
Professional care givers whether as doctors, nurses or mental health counselors are human beings like anyone else. They have needs and limits. Many times, these limits are stretched. Care professionals will put others before their own health and over work or become emotionally drained carrying the pain of others. This not healthy for them long term nor is it good for the care of the patient. It is essential and important for caregivers to understand their limits and the benefits of rest. Alan Wolfelt lists numerous ways caregiver fatigue can be detrimental to health as well as ways to alleviate the heavy burden. We will review a few of his suggestions in the blog below. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
First and foremost, self care is important because professionals owe it to themselves and their families to have happy lives. There must be a a life outside the office or the hospital. One must live a life that includes family vacations, dining, massages, hobbies, or parties or whatever is most fulfilling in life. While the profession is important, it is only one aspect of one’s life. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Support Group Certification Program
This naturally leads to the need to find rest and respite from the draining work. For those who see death at the hospital, or for those who help the mentally drained, the weight can sometimes become over bearing for a true kind heart. One who shows empathy with the grieving, takes upon some of that stress and feels its impact. It is important to allow oneself to refresh and recharge from these things. On numerous occasions , caregivers can transfer the pain of others to one’s own family, where heartburn seems to be a heart attack, or a migraine may be seem to be a tumor. It is natural to feel the grief of others and attribute to possibly one’s own life. It is key to stay spiritual and thankful.
Caregivers and leaders of support groups also need to maintain self care to continue to be successful with others. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Finally, if one is to truly help others, then one must be mentally healthy. It is important sometimes to find a clear mind to avoid the pitfalls of just showing up. Sometimes, over worked professionals are not only as sharp as they should but it can also make them more callous to the needs of others. It can push caregivers away from the pain by acting like experts and only professional, preventing one from helping those who truly need aid and help.
Hence it is important to find joy in the little things. It is important to live one’s other side of life at home and with family. It is important to see the joy in life in whatever comes one’s way or what one loves to do. If it is going to a winery one day, or a retreat, or simply watching a favorite show, these things can help recharge and give excitement to life.
While performing tasks at work, it is important to also remember to work smart but not hard. Specific goals should be set for personal and professional development. Another way to work smarter, is to not multitask but deal with one thing at a time. Another helpful hint is to plan tomorrow’s projects at the end of the previous day. More hints include, protecting oneself from interruptions, take a break when it is needed and delegate tasks when possible. Support systems can play a key role in staying ahead and energized as well.
Wolfert lists a helpful Manifesto for bereavement caregivers. Here are a few key points.
One deserves to lead a whole and joyful life. One’s work does not define oneself. Oneself is not the only one who can help others. One must develop healthy eating, sleeping and exercising habits. Overinvolvement can lead to neglect of oneself. One must maintain certain boundaries when helping others. Oneself is not perfect and should not expect oneself to be. One must practice good time management. One must set limits to lessen stress. One must listen to one’s inner voice when fatigue is sensed. One must express one’s true self in work and play. Oneself is a spiritual being and has spiritual needs.
Caregivers need to find their own spiritual place. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
These ideals can help any healthcare professional, mental health or bereavement counselor better care for others. Those in charge of support groups, or those licensed in counseling, all need to realize that while their leadership and guidance is important, it is also important that their own health is monitored. One must remember, like in a plane, one is instructed in an emergency to put the air mask on oneself first, before putting it on another. The reason is simple. One cannot help others, if one is able and ready.
If you would like to learn more about AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification, then please review AIHCP’s site and programs. The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Source: “The Understanding Your Grief Support Group Guide: Starting and Leading a Bereavement Support Group” by Alan Wolfert, PhD
PTSD is unprocessed trauma due to a horrific event. Learning to finally face that trauma and move forward is an important step. Learning to process and again learn to trust and have productive relationships are important. Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
The death of a pet is a pivotal moment in life, no matter how many previous cats or dogs have passed prior. Each relationship is unique and special and each ending to that relationship is equally painful. Saying good bye to any friend or family member is difficult and that is why saying goodbye to a pet is equally difficult. For many, pets are family. This is not odd or weird but a reality and completely normal. Animals have pure souls of love and devotion and teach humanity many times the most loyalty. It is then of no surprise that the loss of a pet can be a very painful moment for someone.
Each pet is unique and loved. Please also review AIHCP’s Pet Loss Grief Support Certification
The article, “Lessons from loss: healing after a beloved pet dies” by Elsic Lynn Parini looks at the lessons we learn and the healing we experience after the loss of a pet. The article states,
“In the case of two of my six cats they fell asleep on my heart and that’s when I fell in love in a very big way,” Glauber remembered of his own adoption experiences. “I now have the immense responsibility for this being… And then, all of a sudden, there’s the opposite feeling: ‘Oh no, man is it going to be hard to say goodbye to this creature.’ You can’t have the one without knowing the other will come… In our wildest fantasy, no being we love should ever die, but we know that is not true. The courage to grieve is the courage to love.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Pet Loss Grief Support Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Pet Loss Grief Support.
One of the worst places to become angry is at work. It not only is unprofessional but it can lead to multiple problems with management, co-workers and career. It can also lead to harassment charges and other investigations. Hence it is extremely important to remain calm and focused while on the job.
Anger in the workplace is counterproductive and detrimental to morale. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification
Non hostile work environments are key to successful business and teams need to be on the same page and not in conflict. Learning to create more harmony at work can help many individuals work better together and increase production. Anger Management is an important tool at work, as well as Stress Management to control anger impulses that disrupt work.
The article, “The Worst Place to Get Angry” by Naveed Saleh, PhD looks closer at the dysfunction anger at work can cause and how to prevent it. He states,
“Problematic anger can lead to major workplace disruption and negatively impact individual performances. Researchers have found that these effects are particularly salient in high-risk occupations, where prolonged and unhealthy anger festers. Examples of these professions include police, military, and firefighters.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management Consulting.
