Author: Dominick Flarey

Death Talk Is Important

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The two most important events in life is birth and death but the later is rarely spoken about.  Individuals fear and dread death and avoid the existential topic as much as possible, but death talk is important.   This important discussion helps focus individuals to the reality of life and that days are precious.  This discussion helps prepare others express feelings and put financial and inheritance matters to rest.  It allows the deceased to have his or her wishes known for funeral and burial.  Yet, despite the healthy discussions that the topic of death brings, it is still avoided as if the topic itself will bring about the existential event.

Death is a healthy discussion. Please also review AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Certification and see if it meets your professional goals

 

Individuals dread and fear death so they hope to avoid, dismiss and ignore it.  It can only happen to others not oneself and the mere discussion seems morbid too many.  Yet this important discussion is critical and taboos, fears, and myths about speaking about death need to be removed from society.  Death talk itself is healthy.  Many in Pastoral Thanatology ministry minister to the dying but the topic of death has been avoided and even when dying is occurring, no family or friends know how to broach the subject.  This leaves the dying person very much alone.  It is healthy to discuss death in the prime of life as well at the final moments.

The article, “If death happens to us all, we should probably talk more openly about grief” by Dinah Boucher looks at why many fear discussing death or even talking about the pain associated with death of a loved one.  She states,

“Identity rupture is a common response to loss, Professor Gill Straker and Jacqui Winship explain.’ For sure, it affects our identities. Our sense of ourselves is intricately associated with our sense of ourselves in relation to others. So when we lose a really important person in our lives, our identity has to kind of shift and change to adapt'”.

“If death happens to us all, we should probably talk more openly about grief”. Boucher, D. (2023) ABC News. Access here

Hence, whether it is about one’s own mortality or losing a loved one, the fear and pain of the subject can paralyze one from speaking about it or trying to understand it.  This can be unhealthy for the grieving as well as unhealthy for those who fear any discussion about the event of death.   Death itself or when someone dies cannot be swept under the rug but needs to be discussed and understood in order to have a healthier understanding of it as well as the ability to heal.

The Importance of Having End-of-Life Conversations

End-of-life conversations are crucial for several reasons. Firstly, they allow us to express our wishes and preferences for our own end-of-life care. By discussing our desires in advance, we ensure that our loved ones are aware of our choices and can honor them when the time comes. Additionally, these conversations provide an opportunity for us to clarify any misunderstandings or misconceptions about our preferences, preventing potential conflicts or disagreements among family members.

Secondly, end-of-life conversations foster emotional and psychological well-being. They can help alleviate anxiety and fear surrounding death by providing a platform to openly express concerns and emotions. By addressing these concerns, we can find comfort and support, allowing us to cope with the inevitable reality of our mortality.

Lastly, having end-of-life conversations enables us to support and comfort our loved ones. By sharing our thoughts and wishes, we provide them with guidance and alleviate the burden of making difficult decisions on our behalf. These conversations also encourage open communication within the family, fostering deeper connections and understanding during a time that can be emotionally challenging.

Common Challenges When Discussing End-of-Life Topics

Despite the importance of end-of-life conversations, there are common challenges that can arise when discussing these topics. One challenge is the discomfort or fear associated with discussing death. Many individuals find it difficult to confront their mortality or to acknowledge the possibility of their loved ones passing away. This discomfort can hinder open and honest communication, making it challenging to have meaningful conversations.

Due to fear of death, or seeing death as a morbid topic, many death talks are postponed till it is too late.

 

Another challenge is the cultural or societal taboo surrounding death. In many cultures, death is seen as a morbid or forbidden topic, leading to a lack of awareness and understanding about end-of-life matters. This taboo can create barriers to open dialogue, preventing individuals from expressing their wishes or seeking the necessary support and guidance.

Additionally, differing perspectives and beliefs within families can pose challenges. Family members may have varying opinions on end-of-life care, leading to potential conflicts or disagreements. It is important to approach these conversations with empathy and respect, acknowledging and validating differing viewpoints while working towards a shared understanding.

Benefits of Having the ‘Death Talk’

Despite the challenges, having the ‘death talk’ offers numerous benefits. One of the significant advantages is the peace of mind that comes from knowing that our wishes will be respected and honored. By discussing our end-of-life preferences, we can ensure that our values and beliefs are upheld, providing a sense of control and dignity during our final days.

Another benefit is the opportunity to strengthen relationships and deepen connections with our loved ones. End-of-life conversations allow for intimate and vulnerable discussions, fostering trust and understanding among family members. These conversations can create a safe space for emotional expression and support, ultimately strengthening the bond between individuals.

Furthermore, having the ‘death talk’ can alleviate the burden on our loved ones. By openly expressing our wishes, we provide clarity and guidance, reducing the stress and uncertainty that can arise when making difficult decisions on behalf of someone else. This proactive approach ensures that our loved ones are equipped with the necessary information and can focus on providing comfort and support during our final moments.

Key Elements to Consider Before Having End-of-Life Conversations

Before initiating end-of-life conversations, it is essential to consider certain key elements. Firstly, it is important to reflect on our own values, beliefs, and desires regarding end-of-life care. Taking the time to understand our own wishes allows us to articulate them clearly to our loved ones. This self-reflection also helps us identify any fears or concerns that may arise during the ‘death talk,’ enabling us to address them proactively.

Secondly, it is crucial to choose the right time and place for these conversations. Finding a comfortable and private setting can create a safe space for open and honest dialogue. It is important to ensure that all participants feel at ease and are free from distractions, allowing for focused and meaningful discussions.

Thirdly, considering the preferences and needs of our loved ones is vital. Each individual may have their own unique approach to discussing end-of-life matters. Some may prefer direct and straightforward conversations, while others may require more time and gentle guidance. Being sensitive to these preferences can facilitate effective communication and ensure that everyone feels heard and understood.

Strategies for Initiating End-of-Life Conversations

Initiating end-of-life conversations can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it can become more manageable. One effective approach is to start the dialogue gradually. Begin by mentioning the importance of discussing end-of-life matters and expressing your own willingness to have these conversations. By framing it as a shared responsibility, you create an environment that encourages participation and collaboration.

Another strategy is to use open-ended questions to prompt discussion. Instead of asking yes or no questions, ask questions that invite reflection and personal experiences. For example, you can ask, “Have you ever thought about what kind of care you would like to receive towards the end of your life?” This approach encourages deeper conversations and allows for a more comprehensive understanding of each individual’s thoughts and wishes.

Active listening is also crucial when initiating end-of-life conversations. Give your loved ones the space to express their thoughts and emotions without interruption. By truly listening and validating their feelings, you create an atmosphere of trust and respect, facilitating open and honest communication.

Tips for Effective Communication During End-of-Life Discussions

To ensure effective communication during end-of-life discussions, it is important to keep certain tips in mind. Firstly, use clear and concise language. Avoid using medical jargon or ambiguous terms that may cause confusion. Instead, opt for simple and straightforward language that is easily understood by all participants.

Active and empathetic listening is another essential tip. Give your full attention to the speaker, maintaining eye contact and providing non-verbal cues that show you are engaged in the conversation. This active listening fosters trust and encourages individuals to share their thoughts and concerns openly.

Respecting differing opinions and beliefs is also crucial. End-of-life discussions can bring to light varying perspectives within a family. It is important to approach these differences with empathy and understanding, acknowledging that each person’s perspective is valid. By creating a non-judgmental environment, you encourage open dialogue and prevent potential conflicts.

Addressing Fears and Concerns During the ‘Death Talk’

During the ‘death talk,’ fears and concerns may arise for both the initiator and the participants. It is important to address these fears and concerns openly and honestly. By acknowledging and validating these emotions, you create a space for individuals to express their anxieties and seek reassurance.

Talking about one’s death has many benefits. It helps one realize that time is limited on this realm

 

One common fear is the fear of loss and separation. End-of-life conversations can bring to the surface the reality that our loved ones will not be with us forever. It is important to provide emotional support and reassurance, emphasizing the importance of these conversations in ensuring their wishes are respected and their legacy is honored.

Another fear that may arise is the fear of burdening loved ones with difficult decisions. Assure your loved ones that by discussing end-of-life matters, you are lightening their burden and providing them with guidance. Emphasize that these conversations are an act of love, enabling them to focus on providing comfort and support rather than making challenging decisions.

Resources and Tools for Navigating End-of-Life Conversations

Navigating end-of-life conversations can be made easier with the help of various resources and tools. One valuable resource is advance care planning documents. These documents, such as living wills and healthcare proxies, allow individuals to legally document their preferences for end-of-life care. They provide a clear framework for decision-making and ensure that our wishes are known and respected.

Another helpful tool is the use of conversation starters or discussion guides. These resources provide prompts and questions that can facilitate end-of-life conversations. They offer a structure for the dialogue and can help individuals articulate their thoughts and preferences more effectively.

Additionally, there are numerous organizations and support groups that specialize in end-of-life care and discussions. These organizations offer educational materials, workshops, and counseling services to guide individuals and families through these conversations. Seeking support from these resources can provide additional guidance and reassurance.

Seeking Professional Support for End-of-Life Discussions

In some cases, seeking professional support can be beneficial when navigating end-of-life discussions. Palliative care teams and healthcare professionals trained in end-of-life care can provide guidance and facilitate conversations. They have the expertise to address medical concerns and can offer advice on treatment options and symptom management.

Therapists or counselors specializing in end-of-life issues can also provide emotional support and facilitate communication. They can help address any unresolved conflicts or emotional barriers that may arise during these discussions. Seeking their assistance can promote a more open and constructive dialogue among family members.

Conclusion: Empowering Yourself and Your Loved Ones Through Open Dialogue

Having end-of-life conversations may seem daunting, but they are crucial for our own well-being and the well-being of our loved ones. By openly discussing our wishes, concerns, and fears, we empower ourselves and our loved ones to make informed decisions and provide the necessary support during end-of-life care. Remember to approach these conversations with empathy, respect, and active listening. Utilize the resources and tools available to navigate these discussions, and don’t hesitate to seek professional support when needed. By embracing open dialogue, we can ensure that our end-of-life journey is guided by our own wishes and preferences, providing comfort, peace, and a sense of dignity for ourselves and our loved ones.

Those engaged in Pastoral Thanatology ministry can help others broach the subject of death and help others understand it

 

Call to Action:

Start the conversation today. Take the first step towards having end-of-life conversations with your loved ones. Begin by reflecting on your own wishes and desires, and then find a comfortable setting to initiate the dialogue. Remember, open and honest communication is key to empowering yourself and your loved ones through this journey.

Please also review AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Pastoral Thanatology

Additional Resources

‘Death talk’, ‘loss talk’ and identification in the process of ageing”.  Karen West and Jason Glynos.  (2014). Cambridge University Press.  Access here

“End-of-Life Stages Timeline”. Angela Morrow. (2023). VeryWellHealth. Access here

“The Taboo of Death”. Mark Whitmann, PhD. (2019). Psychology Today.  Access here

“What Is Thanatophobia?”. Team VeryWellHealth. (2023). VeryWellHealth. Access here

“Death anxiety: The fear that drives us?”. Maria Cohut, PhD.  (2017). MedicalNewsToday. Access here

“Facts to Calm Your Fear of Death and Dying”. Ralph Lewis. MD. (2018). Psychology Today.  Access here

Morality and the Four Temperaments

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Moral theology judges three aspects of a human act; the action, the agent and the circumstances.  In regards to the agent or person who commits the objective act, there is a surplus of subjective elements that determine an individual’s culpability and inclinations towards an action.   Temperament plays a key role in a person’s overall disposition towards passions, inclinations and reactions.   Temperaments are more permanent and natural dispositions of the soul.  Temperaments are the blue prints for how individuals act naturally.  One is more naturally this or that not due so much to nurture but to nature itself.  Hence individuals exhibit more natural and easy tendencies due to one’s temperament.  While one can learn to mask certain poor qualities that coincide with a temperament, it nonetheless remains the natural and internal driving force behind the person.

A person’s temperament is one’s initial and natural disposition. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification

 

In addition, a person’s character is based upon temperament and learned social rules and regulations that define how that person responds to issues.  One’s character hence reflects a moral code that is binds one to interactions.  A person may be very honest and this element of character manifests.  In addition to character, psychology also recognizes personality.  Personality plays a key role in how one interacts with others.  Personality is more fluid over time than character and temperament, but character traits and temperament all play key components of one’s personality.  The key to remember though is temperament is not a learned trait but a far more natural trait.  It lends certain qualities to that make certain characters easier or harder to foster and also plays a key role in one’s social interaction with others.

Rev Conrad Hock presents an excellent essay on the four temperaments and their implications in morality and Christian ministry.  The temperaments clearly can play a key role in applying stimulation or inclination towards certain vices but as well as virtues.  So while there are natural inclinations with both positive and negative connotations, nurture plays a key role in guiding one’s natural temperament or temperament combinations to a more virtuous life.  In Hock’s, “Four Temperaments” he points out the great importance of understanding oneself.  He states,

  “Socrates, one of the most renowned of the Greek sages, used and taught as an axiom to his hearers:
‘Know yourself.’ One of the most reliable means of learning to know oneself is the study of the temperaments. For if
a man is fully cognizant of his temperament, he can learn easily to direct and control himself. If he
is able to discern the temperament of others, he can better understand and help them”.

“Four Temperaments”. Hock, C. (1998) Access here

Christian Counselors, spiritual directors and clergy can utilize an understanding of the temperaments to better aid individuals in their spiritual development as well as learn how to better interact with others in the social life.  One way to discern one’s own temperament as well as others is how one responds to things in life or stimuli.  Hock refers to individuals who respond quickly to stimuli, respond but lose interest, do not respond but ponder, and those who show little interest as four qualities of Choleric, Sanguine, Melancholic and Phlegmatic (1998, p.3). If one is able to better diagnose these responses, then one can better determine the prominent temperament of an individual.

The Four Temperaments

The first temperament is choleric.  Based off from ancient Greece correlation of yellow bile within the human body, individuals who are choleric are very assertive individuals.  They are very receptive to stimuli and the reception is not fleeting but long lasting.  They are very goal orientated individuals with little time for emotion.  They can become very impatient, angry and irritable when results are not met.  This personality is also more self serving and egotistical in its essence.

Personality is made of temperament and character of individuals. Choleric temperament is more extrovert and goal orientated.

 

Children who exhibit these qualities need to be shown more restraint and nurtured to see the needs of others and to be more reflective and caring.  Obviously the vice of pride can easily manifest within this temperament if not balanced with humility.  Individuals who have this a dominating trait may be very successful in life but also may be open to narcissism and other anti-social personality disorders void of conscience.  Hock points out that a choleric may very well be egotistical, stubborn, very confident, and dominant ( 1998, p. 7).  Obviously when dealing with a choleric temperament, confrontation and criticism is not the best approach.  The good news is not everyone usually has a one temperament and other temperaments can balance out qualities, as well as virtues that can be utilized.   Saints that possessed a very strong choleric nature not only balanced their ego with humility but also utilized their goal orientated mind to helping others and building up the Church with spiritual goals.

The second temperament is sanguine.  Sanguine temperaments are also quick to respond as the choleric temperament but unlike the choleric, the sanguine response is fleeting.  The sanguine temperament coincides with the bodily fluid of blood and finds excitement in pleasure and social settings.  This extrovert temperament however has a hard time remaining responsible and will move from thing to thing, especially things that involve extra effort.  This temperament is very social and easily builds relationships and optimistic but also very superficial and unstable (Hock, 1998, p.11).

 

Obviously, the worldly, temporal and pleasure seeking nature of this temperament needs grounded.  It needs grounded with a strong spirituality and also some form of responsibility.  It can easily be thrown into a hedonistic, irresponsible life style.  Hence, sanguine temperaments need denial at an early age to properly curb any appetites (Hock, 1998. p. 14). When directed properly, it can be a social and helpful temperament that finds value in friendship and in helping others.  Its extrovert nature wishes to be part of the world and be utilized as a way to bring God to others.

The third type of temperament is melancholy.  A melancholy temperament stems from black vile and is more intuitive and emotional.  It is slower to react to issues but ponders and reflects in greater detail.  An individual with a melancholic temperament will exhibit a more reflective and reserved reactions to things.  Many times, these individuals are indecisive due to the numerous emotions they reflect on for each situation. As the need suggest, this temperament is more subject to darker moods, sadness and can fall into depressions.   They are also slower to forgive emotional offenses (Hock, 1998, p. 18).

A melancholic temperament is more emotional and intuitive. It is can be very emotionally prayerful but also easily fall into despair

 

A melancholic devoid of spirituality and God can easily lose faith in the world.  Yet one who has God in their heart is very deep and emotional in all aspects of prayer life.  Melancholic temperaments need encouragement and sympathetic understanding (Hock, 1998, p.19).  Furthermore they need to be reinforced with optimism and the power of God in this world.

The final type of temperament is phlegmatic.  Phlegmatic temperament is associated with phlegm in the body.  These temperaments are very passive and introverted.  They show little interest to issues and little response.  They are by nature more easy going.  The phlegmatic temperament is not easily offended and works well with others.  However, due to its more relaxed state it can be more subject to sloth and laziness (Hock, 1998, p. 20).  Children who show a more introvert side need more stimulation as well as information repeated.  They are more docile in nature and respond less heatedly to reprimand.  In the spiritual life, they need motivated and directed towards the awesome love of God and the need to implement action into life.

Application

The more dominant a temperament, the more difficult it is to curb and shape.  One naturally without sin has inclinations according to temperament but one through spiritual training can not act on first impulse, analyze and respond in a more virtuous way.  The temperaments explain why some are more inclined to certain vices or certain virtues.  Like natural talents, some are more naturally patient, or kind, while others may be more prone to the senses or outbursts of anger.  Just like virtue, one can easily find attraction to certain vices due to temperament.

This is why nurture through parenting and moral code is so key in forming the overall personality of a person.   A more choleric personality does not predestine one to be a narcissist or a successful business person but it does lay the inclination for such bad or good achievements.   Through moral character, formation of conscience and parental guidance any temperament can be utilized for a particular good and greatness within the Church.  Likewise, when not curbed, or directed towards God, certain temperaments can lead to a destructive life style.

Fortunately as well, not everyone possesses one temperament.  Usually one possesses a dominant temperament with a secondary temperament.  The secondary temperament can make different blends that make someone not completely an extrovert but someone who enjoys both social but also private life.  Mixtures and balances via secondary temperaments help create very complex individuals.  When one adds, biological, psychological and social aspects, personalities can definitely become more complicated.  This also creates a variety of personality types that are also covered in psychology.  Four particular types of personalities can be found within each four primary temperaments.  This obviously also excludes any mixtures.  To learn more, additional readings lists these types of personalities.

Knowing thyself is key. What temperament are you? What is your secondary temperament? How has religion, moral code and conscience helped curb a primary temperament in your life?

 

Temperaments though remain at the core of a person’s personality.  They are the natural inclinations and first reactions within a person.  It is important to know oneself and if helping others via counseling, to try to have some idea of the temperament of the person.  Christian Counselors can better guide their spiritual children with a better understand of temperament.

Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Christian Counseling.

Additional Resources

“Four Temperaments Test: What’s My Temperament?”. Hinson, L. ( 2022). PsychCentral.  Access here

“The 4 Temperaments”. PersonalityMax.  Access here

“A Catholic Guide To The 4 Temperaments: Which One Are You?”. Netherton, G. (2021). Good Catholic.  Access here

“Temperaments: Which of the 4 Types Are You?”. Ohwovoriole, T. (2023). VeryWellMind.  Access here

Anger and Emotional Avoidance

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Anger sometimes builds up within an individual.  One way anger can build is through emotional avoidance.  Whether the individual is avoiding one’s emotions or whether the individual is ignoring others, avoidance can cause a build up of anger and frustration.  When other emotions are not dealt with or recognized in others, it can lead to issues in how one reacts.  The vent up emotional energy finds it outlet via anger.

Emotional Avoidance can lead to anger issues. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification

 

It is hence important to be more open with oneself and others regarding emotion , as well as, recognizing others emotional needs and not hiding from them.  Unfortunately avoidance is not always about being selfish but is usually due to a trauma where individuals are uncomfortable facing emotion.  Anger is hence a side effect of that neglect of emotional recognition.  The article,”How Emotional Avoidance Contributes to Anger” by Bernard Golden, PhD.  looks closer at how emotional avoidance can lead to anger.  He state regarding emotional avoidance that…

“It is then no surprise that we may be more vulnerable to tension and conflict within ourselves and have related irritability with others and ourselves. It is this irritability that can foster a propensity for anger arousal, anger that serves as a reaction to and distraction from such tension. It directs our attention outward, attributes responsibility to others, or may lead us to displace our anger toward others. In each instance, it moves us further away from true connection with and understanding of ourselves.”

Golden, B. (2023). How Emotional Avoidance Contributes to Anger.  Psychology Today.

To review the entire article, please click here

Commentary

Golden further discusses various ways one can become less detached from one’s emotions and how to take a more conscious step towards recognizing them and also validating emotions in others.  In dealing with emotional avoidance and preventing anger, there are numerous ways to better become more in touch with oneself through mindfulness, journaling and finding someone within a circle of trust that one can share emotions with.

Understanding Emotional Avoidance

Emotional avoidance refers to the tendency to suppress or ignore our emotions rather than facing them head-on. It is a defense mechanism that many people employ to protect themselves from pain, discomfort, or vulnerability. However, while it may provide temporary relief, emotional avoidance can have serious long-term consequences for our mental health and overall well-being.  Long term anger issues can result by burying emotions.

The Impact of Emotional Avoidance on Mental Health

It is important to recognize and address emotions within oneself to avoid future stress, depression, anger and anxiety

 

Emotional avoidance can have a detrimental effect on our mental health. When we consistently avoid our emotions, they tend to build up and intensify over time. This can lead to increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches. Additionally, emotional avoidance prevents us from gaining insight into our own thoughts and feelings, hindering personal growth and self-awareness.

Signs and Symptoms of Emotional Avoidance

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of emotional avoidance is crucial in order to address and overcome this harmful pattern. Some common signs of emotional avoidance include excessive busyness or workaholism, substance abuse or addictive behaviors, chronic irritability or anger, and a general sense of emotional numbness or disconnection. If you find yourself constantly avoiding or suppressing your emotions, it is important to take a step back and evaluate the impact this may be having on your overall well-being.

The Dangers of Suppressing Emotions

Suppressing or bottling up our emotions may seem like a convenient way to avoid discomfort. However, the long-term consequences can be severe. When we suppress our emotions, they don’t simply disappear; instead, they linger beneath the surface, affecting our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. Suppressing emotions can lead to increased stress levels, decreased immune function, and a higher risk of developing mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression.  Anger can also over time build up when emotions are not properly handled and addressed. It is essential to recognize the dangers of emotional suppression and take proactive steps to address our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.

The Benefits of Confronting Emotions

Those who avoid emotions and the emotions of others eventually feel issues of anger from within

 

While confronting our emotions may initially seem daunting, it is a necessary step towards personal growth and well-being. When we confront our emotions, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our needs. This self-awareness allows us to make better decisions, form healthier relationships, and cultivate a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness. Additionally, confronting our emotions provides an opportunity for healing and growth, allowing us to process past traumas and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and resilience.

Techniques for Confronting and Processing Emotions

Confronting and processing emotions can be challenging, but there are various techniques that can help facilitate this important work. One effective technique is journaling, where you can express and explore your emotions in a safe and non-judgmental space. Another technique is mindfulness, which involves being fully present and accepting of your emotions without judgment. This allows you to observe and acknowledge your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can also provide valuable guidance and perspective as you navigate your emotional journey.

Overcoming the Fear of Facing Emotions

Many individuals avoid confronting their emotions out of fear. The fear of being overwhelmed, judged, or rejected can be powerful barriers to emotional healing. However, it is important to remember that emotions are a natural part of the human experience, and suppressing them only prolongs our suffering. Overcoming the fear of facing emotions involves challenging negative beliefs and adopting a compassionate and nurturing mindset towards ourselves. It may also be helpful to seek professional help or join support groups where you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

Seeking Professional Help for Emotional Avoidance

If emotional avoidance has become deeply ingrained and is significantly impacting your daily life, seeking professional help can be a crucial step towards healing. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support as you navigate your emotional journey. They can help you identify underlying patterns and beliefs that contribute to emotional avoidance and provide you with effective strategies for confronting and processing your emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather a courageous step towards self-improvement and well-being.  Anger Management Consultants can also help with any anger issues relating from emotional avoidance.

Creating a Healthy Emotional Well-being Routine

In addition to seeking professional help, creating a healthy emotional well-being routine can greatly support your journey towards confronting and processing your emotions. This routine may include activities such as regular exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, engaging in hobbies or creative outlets, and prioritizing self-care. It is important to find what works best for you and to make these practices a consistent part of your daily life. By nurturing your emotional well-being, you are investing in your overall happiness and long-term mental health.

Conclusion: Embracing Emotions for a Happier and Healthier Life

In conclusion, emotional avoidance may provide temporary relief, but it ultimately hinders our personal growth and well-being. By confronting and processing our emotions, we gain insight, resilience, and a greater capacity for joy and fulfillment. It is essential to recognize the signs of emotional avoidance, understand the dangers of suppressing our emotions, and take proactive steps towards embracing and processing our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Remember, seeking professional help and creating a healthy emotional well-being routine are vital components of this journey. By prioritizing our emotional well-being, we can live happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Anger Management Consultants can help individuals face emotions and also deal with undealt with anger

 

CTA: If you find yourself struggling with emotional avoidance, reach out to a therapist or counselor who can provide the support and guidance you need on your journey towards emotional well-being. Remember, you deserve to live a life that is not defined by avoidance, but rather by courage and self-discovery.

Anger Management Consultants can also help individuals face anger issues resulting from emotional avoidance.  Please review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consultant Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management Consulting.

 

Additional Readings

“Repressed Anger and Emotional Avoidance: 5 Ways to Find the Positive in Negative Emotion”. Riddle, J. (2019). Psycom.  Access here

“8 Ways People Avoid Their Emotions”. Boyes, A. (2021) Psychology Today.  Access here

“5 Symptoms of Repressed Anger”. Lo, I. (2022). Psychology Today.  Access here

“Repressing Emotions: 10 Ways to Reduce Emotional Avoidance”. Attard. A. (2020). PositivePsychology.com.  Access here

Anti-Social Personality Disorders Video

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Social Personality Disorders are among the most dangerous disorders an individual can come across.  Individuals with them are devoid of  conscious or morality.  Christian Counselors can only offer spiritual support, while mental health professionals can offer some medications and therapy.  Still, those who exhibit anti-social disorders rarely look for help.  Among the disorder there are two unofficial terms to label them.  First, sociopathy, which deals with a devoid conscience tied with a heavily emotional response when confronted and psychopathy which is devoid of conscience but is far more tempered and controlled in response.  Both can exhibit psychosis but it is not a necessary ingredient.  Both are also extremely narcissistic personalities.

Anti-Social Personality Disorders require clinical counseling and therapy. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification

 

These personalities if met should be avoided and never provoked.

Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional needs.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Christian Counselor.  Again, Christian Counselors cannot treat this type of disorder but only licensed professional counselors and other mental health professionals.

 

Please review the video below

Forensic Nurses and Helping the Sexually Assaulted

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Victims of sexual assault carry a life long trauma.  Their first step to healing occurs with the hospital staff and forensic nurses.  Most of these nurses are referred to as SANE nurses or Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners.  They not only look to help the person physically but they are there also emotionally.  While they may not play a later role in counseling, their warm smile and understanding eyes can help forward the uncomfortable process of collecting evidence and treating injuries.   Many encounter not only those who were raped but also abused domestically, or even in other cases, those who are victims of human trafficking.

The position not only involves high level of training and empathy towards others but also a reserve within one’s own soul to face evil directly everyday.  Seeing the dark side of humanity everyday can be a difficult job for many and being able to remain strong for others and still keep an optimistic view on life can be challenging.  Hence, nurses who become SANE are not only a special breed but also heroes to countless of victims.

Forensic Nurses are the first line of defense for sexual assault victims. Please review AIHCP’s Forensic Nursing Certification

 

These front line nurses battle sexual assault and help others heal through their professional service, discreet silence, and soothing words.  The article, “How To Care For Sexual Assault and Human Trafficking Victims as a Nurse” by Chaunie Brusie looks closer at how SANE and Forensic Nurses help others who are victims of sexual abuse.  The article reviews a recent podcast with a Forensic Nurse who deals with sexually assaulted and human trafficking victims.   For those looking to begin a career in Forensic Nursing, the article states,

“Nurses who are interested in becoming a FNE/SANE can first turn to their state SANE program, many of which are government-funded and offer free training to all RNs. It is important to do your state program because each state has different laws and procedures about reporting and collection options.”

“How To Care For Sexual Assault and Human Trafficking Victims as a Nurse”. Chaunie Brusie. June 13th, 2023. Nurse.org.

To read the full article, please click here

For those seeking additional training beyond SANE status, AIHCP also offers a Forensic Nursing Certification which can help prepare nurses for SANE and the duties of a sexual examiner nurse.

Commentary

Sexual assault is a heinous crime that leaves survivors traumatized and vulnerable. In the aftermath of such an ordeal, it is crucial to have professionals who are trained to provide comprehensive care and support. This is where Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANEs) play a vital role. As a SANE, I am passionate about empowering survivors and helping them navigate the difficult journey towards healing and justice.

The Role and Responsibilities of a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

As a sexual assault nurse examiner, my primary responsibility is to provide compassionate and evidence-based care to survivors of sexual assault. This involves conducting thorough forensic examinations, collecting and preserving evidence, and documenting injuries. Additionally, I offer emotional support and guidance throughout the entire process. A SANE’s role extends beyond the immediate aftermath of the assault, as they may also provide expert testimony in court proceedings.

Importance of SANEs in Supporting and Empowering Survivors

Forensic Nurses help collect evidence but also can empower victims of sexual abuse

 

SANEs play a crucial role in supporting and empowering survivors of sexual assault. By providing comprehensive care, we help survivors regain a sense of control over their lives and facilitate their healing process. Our presence reassures survivors that they are not alone and that their experiences are valid. SANEs also act as advocates, ensuring that survivors’ rights are protected and that they have access to the resources they need. Through our work, we contribute to breaking the cycle of silence and stigma surrounding sexual assault.

Training and Qualifications Required to Become a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Becoming a sexual assault nurse examiner requires specialized training and qualifications. Registered nurses who wish to pursue this career path must complete a SANE certification program, which includes both didactic and clinical components. The program covers topics such as forensic evidence collection, trauma-informed care, and legal considerations. In addition to the certification, it is essential for SANEs to keep abreast of the latest research and advancements in the field through continuing education.

Forensic Nurses are key in collecting key evidence for law enforcement.

 

Once licensed, some nurses also prefer to earn various certifications in Forensic Nursing, such as from AIHCP.

The Process of a Sexual Assault Examination

A sexual assault examination is a meticulous and sensitive process that requires the utmost care and professionalism. When a survivor arrives at the healthcare facility, I begin by establishing rapport and ensuring their comfort and safety. The examination itself involves a head-to-toe assessment, including the collection of forensic evidence. This may include swabs from various body areas, photographs of injuries, and the documentation of any relevant physical findings. Throughout the examination, I provide clear explanations and reassurance, ensuring that the survivor is involved in the decision-making process.

Providing Emotional Support to Survivors as a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Emotional support and understanding beyond the physical exam is a key attribute for a Forensic Nurse.

 

Emotional support is a fundamental aspect of the care provided by a sexual assault nurse examiner. Survivors often experience a range of emotions, including fear, shame, and anger. As a SANE, I offer a non-judgmental environment where survivors can express their feelings and concerns. Active listening, empathy, and validation are integral to establishing trust and facilitating the healing process. Additionally, I provide information about available resources, such as counseling services and support groups, to help survivors on their journey towards recovery.

Collaboration with Law Enforcement and Legal Professionals

Collaboration between sexual assault nurse examiners, law enforcement, and legal professionals is essential for a comprehensive response to sexual assault cases. As a SANE, I work closely with these stakeholders to ensure that survivors’ rights are protected and that the evidence collected is admissible in court. This collaboration involves sharing information, attending case conferences, and providing expert testimony. By bridging the gap between healthcare and the legal system, we contribute to a more efficient and victim-centered approach to addressing sexual assault.

Challenges Faced by Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners

Being a sexual assault nurse examiner can be emotionally and physically demanding. The nature of the work exposes us to the trauma experienced by survivors, which can take a toll on our mental well-being. Additionally, the long hours and unpredictable schedules can lead to burnout. Furthermore, the criminal justice system’s reliance on forensic evidence places a heavy burden on SANEs, as we must ensure meticulous documentation and follow stringent protocols. Despite these challenges, the sense of purpose and the positive impact we make on survivors’ lives serve as a driving force in our commitment to this vital work.

The Impact of Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners on Survivors and Communities

The work of sexual assault nurse examiners has a profound impact on both individual survivors and the larger community. By providing compassionate care and support, we empower survivors to reclaim their lives and rebuild their sense of self. Our role in the multidisciplinary response to sexual assault cases leads to higher conviction rates and a greater sense of justice for survivors. Moreover, the presence of SANEs contributes to the destigmatization of sexual assault, creating a safer and more supportive environment for survivors to come forward.

Conclusion: The Vital Role of Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners in Empowering and Supporting Survivors

Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners (SANEs) play a vital role in the journey towards healing and justice for survivors of sexual assault. Through their expertise, compassion, and advocacy, SANEs empower survivors and provide them with the comprehensive care they need. The impact of their work extends beyond individual survivors, contributing to the creation of safer communities and a more victim-centered approach to addressing sexual assault. As a SANE, I am honored to be part of this crucial work and to contribute to the empowerment and support of survivors.

Please also review AIHCP’s Forensic Nursing Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals

 

AIHCP also offers a Forensic Nursing Certification for nurses looking to help survivors of sexual assault and human trafficking.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Forensic Nursing.

 

Additional Resources

“What Is a SANE Exam?”. Elizabeth Boskey, PhD. August 10th, 2022. VeryWellHealth. Access here

“How Nurses Can Recognize and Report Human Trafficking”. March 3rd, 2023. Nurse Journal.  Access here

“Caring for Victims of Violence: Forensic Nurses Are on the Front Line”. November 10th, 2017.  Cleveland Clinic.  Access here

“Domestic Violence: What Can Nurses Do?”. September 23rd, 2011. Crisis Prevention Institute.  Access here

 

Professional Crisis Response to Mental Health Calls

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Mental health and crisis response remains an important issue in the United States.  Poor crisis management and mental health issues have led to shootings and a variety of unstable social encounters.  While better care is still needed, another issue that remains forefront is how emergency response teams handle calls with those experiencing mental issues.  Police in recent years have made negative news stories with using excessive force against those with mental issues.  Instead of de-escalating, police and emergency response answer calls more so from a military perspective of controlling and subduing the individual.

Crisis training for emergency response professionals is critical to better save lives and give appropriate response to the situation

 

Crisis Counselors and other mental health professionals need to be utilized more in response to these calls and emergency response and police need better training how to de-escalate a situation with someone.   Police, while needing to protect themselves, also need to be able to subdue someone in mental crisis without killing them.  This takes more training in mental health and better non lethal restraint methods.  The article, “10 Tips for Responding to Mental Health Crisis Calls” by Wayne Parham looks closer at how police can better respond.  He states,

“Departments across the country in recent years have placed a growing emphasis on improving how they respond to mental health crisis calls. In Texas, one agency both deploys clinicians in the field with deputies and also taps into technology through telehealth. The Harris County Sheriff’s Office is one of only 15 agencies that have been designated as a learning site for mental health and law enforcement professionals by the Council of State Governments Justice Center, which strives to develop research-driven strategies to increase public safety and strengthen communities.”

Parham, W. (June 2nd, 2023) . “10 Tips for Responding to Mental Health Crisis Calls”. Police: Law Enforcement Solutions.

To read the entire article, please click here

Commentary

When it comes to responding to mental health crises, police departments face numerous challenges. One major challenge is the lack of adequate training in dealing with individuals experiencing mental health issues. Police officers often receive minimal training in this area, which can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication, and potentially dangerous situations. Without the necessary knowledge and skills to handle mental health crises, officers may resort to using force or making arrests, exacerbating the situation and potentially causing harm to both the individual in crisis and the officers involved.

Another challenge is the lack of collaboration between law enforcement and mental health professionals. In many cases, police officers are the first responders to mental health crises, but they may not have the expertise to provide appropriate care or connect individuals with the appropriate resources. This disjointed approach can result in individuals not receiving the care they need, leading to repeated crises and even tragic outcomes.

The impact of inadequate training on police response to mental health crisis

The lack of adequate training in responding to mental health crises has a significant impact on how police officers handle these situations. Without proper training, officers may rely on their instincts or previous experiences, which may not be applicable to the unique challenges presented by mental health crises. This can lead to misunderstandings, fear, and escalating tensions, making it difficult to de-escalate the situation and provide the necessary support to individuals in crisis.

Additionally, inadequate training can contribute to stigmatization and bias towards individuals with mental health issues. Without understanding the complexities of mental health, officers may rely on stereotypes or assumptions, potentially leading to discriminatory practices. This not only violates the rights of individuals in crisis but also undermines trust between law enforcement and the community they serve.  Crisis Intervention Training as well as Mental Health Training is important

The need for collaboration between law enforcement and mental health professionals

To address the challenges in police response to mental health crises, collaboration between law enforcement and mental health professionals is crucial. By working together, these two sectors can pool their resources, knowledge, and expertise to develop comprehensive approaches to addressing mental health crises. Mental health professionals can provide training and guidance to police officers, helping them understand the nuances of mental health and providing strategies for de-escalation and crisis intervention.

Police need to be able to integrate crisis and de-escalation techniques for calls involving the mentally ill

 

Furthermore, collaboration can lead to the establishment of specialized crisis intervention teams. These teams consist of both police officers and mental health professionals who respond to mental health crises together. By combining their skills and knowledge, these teams can provide a more compassionate and effective response, ensuring that individuals in crisis receive the appropriate care and support they need.

The role of community-based mental health services in reducing police involvement

One effective solution to reducing police involvement in mental health crises is the expansion of community-based mental health services. By providing individuals with access to mental health resources and support within their own communities, the reliance on police as first responders can be minimized. Community-based mental health services can offer early intervention, prevention, and ongoing support, reducing the likelihood of crises occurring in the first place.

These services can include mobile crisis teams that respond to mental health crises directly, providing immediate assessment and intervention. Additionally, community-based mental health centers can offer ongoing counseling, therapy, and support groups, helping individuals manage their mental health and prevent crises from escalating.

Crisis intervention teams: a specialized approach to police response

Crisis intervention teams (CIT) are a specialized approach to police response in mental health crises. CIT programs train police officers to recognize and respond to individuals experiencing mental health crises in a safe and appropriate manner. Officers who undergo CIT training receive education on mental health, de-escalation techniques, and community resources, equipping them with the skills needed to effectively respond to mental health crises.

CIT programs also emphasize collaboration and partnership with mental health professionals. Through partnerships with local mental health agencies, CIT officers can refer individuals to appropriate resources and ensure they receive the care they need. This collaborative approach not only improves the outcomes for individuals in crisis but also strengthens the relationship between law enforcement and the community.

Alternative response models: exploring non-police options for mental health crisis

While police response is often the default in mental health crises, alternative response models are gaining recognition as effective alternatives. These models involve diverting mental health crisis calls away from police departments and towards specialized mental health teams. These teams, consisting of mental health professionals, social workers, or paramedics, are better equipped to provide the necessary support and care for individuals in crisis.

One example of an alternative response model is the implementation of co-responder programs. In these programs, mental health professionals accompany police officers when responding to mental health crisis calls. By having a mental health expert on-site, the focus shifts from a law enforcement response to a more therapeutic approach. This can lead to better outcomes for individuals in crisis, as they receive immediate mental health support and guidance.

Strategies for improving police training in mental health crisis response

Improving police training in mental health crisis response is essential for ensuring that officers are equipped to handle these situations effectively. One strategy is to incorporate mental health education and crisis intervention training into basic law enforcement training programs. By providing officers with a solid foundation in mental health awareness and crisis de-escalation techniques early on, they will be better prepared to respond appropriately in the field.

Apprehending those with mental health issues in a safe way is the new challenge for law enforcement

 

Additionally, ongoing training and professional development opportunities should be provided to police officers throughout their careers. This can include specialized workshops, scenario-based training, and access to mental health experts who can provide guidance and support. By investing in continuous training, police departments can ensure that their officers remain up-to-date with the latest best practices and strategies for responding to mental health crises.

The importance of data collection and analysis in addressing the challenges

Data collection and analysis play a crucial role in addressing the challenges faced by police in responding to mental health crises. By collecting data on the frequency, nature, and outcomes of these interactions, police departments can identify patterns, trends, and areas for improvement. This data can inform policy decisions, resource allocation, and training initiatives, ensuring that responses to mental health crises are evidence-based and effective.

Furthermore, data can help identify disparities and inequities in police response to mental health crises. By examining demographic information, such as race, gender, and socioeconomic status, departments can identify any biases or disproportionate impacts on specific communities. This information can then be used to implement targeted interventions and ensure that all individuals receive fair and equitable treatment.

Success stories and best practices in police response to mental health crisis

Despite the challenges, there have been notable success stories and best practices in police response to mental health crises. One example is the Crisis Intervention Team (CIT) program implemented in Memphis, Tennessee. This program has resulted in a significant reduction in arrests and use of force incidents involving individuals with mental health issues. By providing officers with specialized training and support from mental health professionals, the program has transformed the way police respond to mental health crises in the community.

Another success story is the implementation of co-responder programs in various cities across the United States. These programs have shown promising results in diverting mental health crisis calls away from police departments and towards mental health professionals. By working together, these teams can provide immediate support, connect individuals with appropriate resources, and ensure that crises are resolved in a safe and compassionate manner.

Conclusion: the way forward for effective police response to mental health crisis

Addressing the challenges in police response to mental health crises requires a comprehensive and collaborative approach. By improving training, fostering collaboration between law enforcement and mental health professionals, expanding community-based mental health services, and implementing alternative response models, police departments can enhance their ability to respond effectively and compassionately to individuals in crisis.

Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Practitioner Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals

 

Furthermore, prioritizing data collection and analysis, as well as learning from success stories and best practices, can inform evidence-based strategies and policies that promote equitable and humane responses to mental health crises. By working towards these solutions, we can create a future where individuals experiencing mental health crises receive the care and support they need, while also ensuring the safety and well-being of both the community and the officers involved.

Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Practitioner Program.  The program is open to qualified professionals looking to implement crisis intervention into their careers or posts.  The program is online and independent study and provides the necessary knowledge for counselors, social workers, and law enforcement to better answer crisis calls.

Additional Resources

“Best Practices for Addressing Mental Health Crises in the Community”. Laura Usher and Amy Watson, PhD. July 2020. Dispatch. Access here

“Mental Health And Police Violence: How Crisis Intervention Teams Are Failing”. Eric Westervelt. September 18th, 2020. NPR. Access here

Crisis Intervention: A Stabilizing Force. Megan Gates. January 1st, 2022. Security Management.  Access here

“Mobile Crisis Teams: Providing an Alternative to Law Enforcement for Mental Health Crises”. Hannah Wesolowski. July 13th, 2022. NAMI.  Access here

Christian Counseling and Narcissism Video

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Narcissism is love of self.  The first being to exhibit this disorder was Lucifer.  Narcissists are dangerous in how they treat other individuals because they have zero empathy.  All that matters is the needs of self and the glorification of self through others.  When this is challenged, these individuals can become dangerous at a physical, mental or legal way.  They will calculate revenge and attempt to ruin others.

Narcissism is self love. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it meets your goals

 

If in a relationship with a Narcissist, it can be a very difficult situation to handle.  One needs to establish boundaries and understand the disorder to better navigate one’s life.  It is best to avoid these individuals and if possible to move on if in a relationship.  Christian Counselors can help guide individuals through these situations.  Overall, helping a Narcissist recognize one’s own shortcomings is difficult.  Hence many Narcissists resist counseling.  Only trained clinical counselors can work with Narcissists, but Christian Counselors can offer spiritual advice through the example of Christ’s humility

Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Christian Counselor.

 

Please review the video below

Attachment Disorder Video

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Human bonds are very important since human beings are social.  When bonds are not formed properly in early childhood, the effects on the personality of an individual can be devastating.   Individuals can have difficulty forming healthy and trusting relationships with other individuals.  It can affect relationships and other social bonds with friends and family.

Attachment Disorders can play a detrimental role in the grieving process. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Some individuals may have inhibited or uninhibited attachment disorders which avoid intimacy or form superficial and fake relationships without substance.  Some may exhibit more avoidance while others may display an extreme anxiety with others.  This has tremendous affects on loss and grief as well because it forms complications when a person passes away.

The video below discusses the topic of attachment disorders in greater detail.  In the meantime, please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

Please review the video below

Children and Pet Loss

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Pet loss is painful for anyone but it can be especially confusing and painful for children.  Children have different levels of understanding regarding death and it is important to relay to children the reality of death in a straight forward but sensitive way.  Hiding the death, or trying to shield the child from the reality of death is not a good way to help the child process the loss.  Instead it is important to share with the child what occurred and the how to properly grieve the loss.

For many children, the loss of a pet is their first experience with death. Please also review AIHCP’s Pet Loss Grief Support Certification

 

Losing a pet can sometimes be a child’s first experience with death.  Whether simply a goldfish, it can provide an excellent learning opportunity.  While more painful, losing a cat or dog, it can equally help the child understand the reality of life and death.  The article, “Talking with Kids About the Loss of a Pet” by Hilary Lebow looks at ways to help children better cope with the death of a pet.  She states,

“Each child processes grief differently. Though it’s painful, the loss of a pet can be an important opportunity to help children learn how to handle difficult experiences. A combination of talking about the death and closure activities can help you and your child heal.”

“Talking with Kids About the Loss of a Pet”. Hilary Lebow. May 18th, 2022. PsychCentral

To review the entire article, please click here

Understanding children’s perception of death

Before discussing pet loss with your child, it’s important to understand their perception of death. Children, especially young ones, may not fully understand the finality of death. They may not realize that their pet will never come back, or they may not understand that death is permanent. It’s important to be patient and understanding when talking to your child about death, and to use age-appropriate language that they can understand.

It’s also important to note that children may have different reactions to death depending on their age, personality, and previous experiences with loss. Some children may become sad or tearful, while others may be confused or angry. It’s important to be prepared for a range of emotions and reactions from your child, and to offer them support and understanding throughout the process.

Honesty is the best policy: How to talk to your child about pet loss

When explaining the death of a pet to your child, it’s important to be honest and straightforward. Use clear and simple language that your child can understand, and avoid using euphemisms such as “put to sleep” or “passed away”. While these phrases may seem gentler, they can also be confusing for children and may lead to misunderstandings about death.  Sometimes saying a pet went away is not enough information because the child has a difficult time understanding why the pet cannot come back.  This is why helping children realize that death is a permanent state is important in helping the child cope with the loss properly.

 

Honesty is the best policy when discussing pet death with a child

 

In many cases, the loss of a pet is the first experience of death for a child.  Whether it is a simple fish or as difficult as losing the family dog, the event is a learning experience for the child.

It’s also important to give your child the opportunity to ask questions and express their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused, and that you are there to support them through the process. Encourage them to talk about their memories of the pet, and to share any thoughts or feelings they may be having.

Explaining death in an age-appropriate way

When discussing pet loss with your child, it’s important to use age-appropriate language and explanations. Younger children may not understand the concept of death, and may need simpler explanations such as “Fluffy’s body stopped working and she can’t come back”. Older children may have a better understanding of death, and may benefit from more detailed explanations about the body and how it works.

It’s also important to be prepared for questions that your child may have about death and dying. They may ask about what happens to the body after death, or about what death feels like. Be honest and open with your child, and answer their questions to the best of your ability.

Dealing with grief: Coping mechanisms for children

After the death of a pet, children may experience a range of emotions including sadness, anger, and guilt. It’s important to offer them support and understanding during this time, and to help them find healthy coping mechanisms to deal with their grief.

Encourage your child to express their feelings through writing, drawing, or talking to someone they trust. You may also want to consider seeking out support groups or counseling services for children who are struggling with grief.

The role of rituals and memorializing in the grieving process

Rituals and memorializing can play an important role in helping children cope with the loss of a pet. This can include creating a memorial or tribute to the pet, such as a photo album or a special piece of art. You may also want to consider holding a funeral or memorial service for the pet, where your child can say goodbye and share their memories with others.

Helping your child understand the cycle of life and death

One way to help your child cope with pet loss is to help them understand the cycle of life and death. Talk to them about how all living things have a beginning, middle, and end, and how death is a natural part of life. You may also want to talk to them about the concept of an afterlife, and about how their pet may still be with them in spirit.

Supporting your child through the grieving process

As your child works through their grief, it’s important to continue to offer them love and support. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and memories, and to express themselves in healthy ways. Offer them comfort and reassurance, and let them know that you are there for them no matter what.

When to seek professional help

While grief is a natural part of the grieving process, some children may struggle with it more than others. If your child is experiencing severe or prolonged grief, or if they are having difficulty functioning in their daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. A counselor or therapist can help your child work through their feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Those with certification specialties in Pet Loss Grief Support can play roles in helping one better cope with the loss of a pet.

Conclusion: Remembering and honoring the life of your beloved pet

Honoring and remembering the pet will help the child cope and grieve is his own way and help him commemorate and remember the life of the pet in a positive manner

 

Losing a pet can be a difficult experience for both children and adults. However, by being honest and supportive with your child, you can help them understand and cope with the experience. Remember to use age-appropriate language and explanations, encourage your child to express their feelings, and offer them comfort and support throughout the grieving process. And most importantly, remember to honor and remember the life of your beloved pet, and the joy and love they brought to your family.

Please also review AIHCP’s Pet Loss Grief Support Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Pet Loss Grief Support.

Additional Resources

“How to cope with the death of your pet”. The Humane Society of the United States.  Access here

“An Age-by-Age Guide to Explaining the Death of a Pet to Children”. Rachel Sokol. April 23rd, 2023. Family Education.  Access here

“6 Family Friendly Ways to Help Kids Grieve After Pet Loss”. Meredith Gordon Resnick L.C.S.W.  July 9th, 2015. Psychology Today.  Access here

“When a Pet Dies, Helping Children Through the ‘Worst Day of Their Lives’”. Juli Fraga.  June 8th, 2017.  The New York Times.  Access here

The Four Temperamants and Anger

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Temperaments dictate a person’s personality and also how they interact with other individuals.  Temperaments can be dominant, passive, outgoing, or more sensitive.  A person’s personality overall is far more broad than a temperament and includes many more types of traits.  Personalities are more likely to change over time while a temperament is far harder to alter.  Temperaments form at a young age and remain a constant.  Individuals can still alter their temperament, but this takes serious time and effort.

One’s temperament plays a key role in how one responds with anger. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification

 

A temperament also plays a large role with how one responds to anger and rage.   Individuals who are naturally more laid back obviously will control anger and emotion far greater than someone who is more dominant or emotional.  How temperaments affect one’s anger is key.  This is why it is essential for individuals to understand their own temperament to better regulate their own emotions.  Anger Management techniques emphasize understanding one’s own temperament to better access one’s proneness to rage.

The article, “Temperaments: Which of the 4 Types Are You?” by Toketemu Ohwovoriole looks at the four temperaments of choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic.  The article also helps one determine what temperament they may possess.  Ultimately, since human beings are so unique, they may have different temperament traits intermixed with one temperament the more dominant one and another far less manifested.  The article states,

“Human beings are diverse and complex individuals. No single person fits squarely under one particular type. However, you are likely to exhibit behaviors associated with one style primarily; this could be referred to as your dominant temperament. You may also have less prevalent behaviors that belong to other temperament types.  For instance, a person may exhibit behaviors that come across as moody, stoic, and reserved, which are characteristically melancholic but can also be dominant and assertive, which are characteristically choleric.”

“Temperaments: Which of the 4 Types Are You?”. Toketemu Ohwovoriole.  March 14th, 2023. Yahoo News.

To read the entire article, please click here

Commentary

The concept of the four temperaments dates back to ancient Greece, where physicians and philosophers believed that our personality was determined by the balance of bodily fluids or “humors.” The four temperaments were named after these bodily fluids, which were blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. The theory was that an excess or deficiency of any of these fluids would result in a particular temperament.

Over time, the four temperaments evolved into a psychological concept that described our inherent characteristics. The four temperaments are sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic. Each temperament represents a unique set of traits and characteristics that influence our behavior, emotions, and social interactions.

History and Background of the Four Temperaments

The earliest known mention of the four temperaments was by Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, who described them in his medical works. He believed that our temperament was influenced by the balance of bodily fluids and that each temperament was associated with a particular bodily fluid. The four temperaments gained popularity during the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, where they were used to describe the characters in literature and art.

In the 20th century, the four temperaments gained a new interpretation through the works of Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst. Jung believed that our temperament was determined by our innate psychological preferences, such as the way we perceive and process information. He also developed the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a tool that helps individuals identify their psychological preferences and personality type.

Understanding the Four Temperaments

Sanguine Temperament

The sanguine temperament is associated with the bodily fluid blood and is characterized by a lively and outgoing personality. Sanguine individuals are sociable, talkative, and optimistic. They enjoy being around people and are excellent at making new friends. They are also creative, imaginative, and have a good sense of humor.

However, sanguine individuals can also be impulsive, disorganized, and have difficulty focusing on tasks. They may struggle with deadlines and may have difficulty following through on commitments.

Choleric Temperament

The choleric temperament is associated with the bodily fluid yellow bile and is characterized by a driven and goal-oriented personality. Choleric individuals are confident, assertive, and decisive. They are natural leaders and are excellent at making quick decisions. They are also ambitious, competitive, and enjoy taking risks.

A choleric temperament is more prone to impatience and frustration.

 

However, choleric individuals can also be impatient, argumentative, and may struggle with anger and frustration. They may have difficulty listening to others and may come across as insensitive.

Melancholic Temperament

The melancholic temperament is associated with the bodily fluid black bile and is characterized by a sensitive and introspective personality. Melancholic individuals are analytical, thoughtful, and detail-oriented. They are excellent at problem-solving and can see things from multiple perspectives. They are also empathetic, compassionate, and have a deep understanding of human emotions.

However, melancholic individuals can also be moody, anxious, and may struggle with self-doubt. They may have difficulty making decisions and may experience analysis paralysis.

Phlegmatic Temperament

The phlegmatic temperament is associated with the bodily fluid phlegm and is characterized by a calm and peaceful personality. Phlegmatic individuals are easy-going, relaxed, and have a laid-back attitude. They are excellent at maintaining social harmony and avoiding conflict. They are also patient, empathetic, and have a good sense of humor.

However, phlegmatic individuals can also be indecisive, passive, and may struggle with procrastination. They may have difficulty taking action and may need external motivation to get things done.

Discovering Your Temperament

Understanding your temperament is essential for personal growth and development. There are several assessments and tools available that can help you identify your temperament type. One of the most popular tools is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which categorizes individuals into 16 personality types based on their preferences for perceiving and judging information.

To better manage one’s anger, it is key to know one’s dominant or primary temperament

 

Other tools include the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, which categorizes individuals into four temperament types based on their communication and social styles, and the Enneagram, which categorizes individuals into nine personality types based on their core motivations and fears.  In discovering one’s temperament, one can better access how anger plays a role in one’s life.

Applying Knowledge of Your Temperament in Personal and Professional Settings

Once you have identified your temperament type, you can use this knowledge to improve your personal and professional relationships. For example, if you are a sanguine individual, you may need to work on your organizational skills and focus to improve your productivity. If you are a choleric individual, you may need to work on your listening skills and emotional intelligence to improve your interpersonal relationships.

In the workplace, understanding your temperament can help you communicate effectively with your colleagues and improve your teamwork skills. For example, if you are a phlegmatic individual, you may be an excellent mediator and peacemaker in conflict resolution situations.

Conclusion – Embracing Your Unique Temperament for Personal Growth and Success

In conclusion, understanding your temperament is essential for personal growth and success. By identifying your temperament type, you can gain insight into your personality, behavior, and social interactions. You can use this knowledge to improve your personal and professional relationships and achieve your goals. Embrace your unique temperament and use it as a tool for self-improvement and personal growth.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consultant Certification program to help others learn how to better manage their own anger

 

Anger is a natural emotion.  Those who are more prone to it through their temperament need to be aware of this.  Through awareness of temperament, individuals can better manage themselves and anger.  Knowing thyself is always key!

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals looking to help others manage their anger.

Additional Resources

“Is There an Angry Personality?”. Steven Stosney, PhD. November 30th, 2020.  Psychology Today.  Access here

“Anger and the Four Personality Type Strategies”. Gina Barreca. 16Personalites.  Access here

“Anger Issues: Nature vs Nurture–Why Does it Matter?”. Bernard Golden. October 8th, 2018.

“Why Am I So Angry?”. Erica Cirino. March 30th, 2023. HealthLine.  Access here