School shootings are a fear of any parent or family member. It is a scary feeling knowing that a place of safety and knowledge can be dangerous. School shootings not only keep parents up late at night, but also students, teachers, administrators and the community. The fear of such a traumatic loss can haunt society every time it occurs and cause ripple effects across the nation. It is important to help stop these needless tragedies and help those who have suffered through them.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.
The loss of a child via miscarriage is something many women and couples suffer alone. Since there is usually no body to bury, the miscarriage is seen as less than losing a child. The woman or couple are left with less support and not seen as parents that loss a child. This disenfranchisement can cause unresolved grief for the woman or couple. It is important to recognize the loss of a child via miscarriage.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Near Death Experiences are a universal phenomenon throughout the world. No culture is void of their presence. What does it mean? Is there a scientific explanation or is it a metaphysical experience?
Please also review AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Certification as well as AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification. The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.
During recover from severe trauma, the person must be able to reconnect the dreadful event with his or her life story. The injured person must understand the event as a chapter that has meaning to one’s life and connect it to the present and how to cultivate the future.
As one progresses in their treatment of processing the traumatic memories, one will need to create future chapters that are not defined by the evil of the trauma, but are defined by growth from it. The present and future need to find happiness, meaning and self esteem in order to self sustain any recovery and help the person integrate back into society.
Individuals suffering from trauma and PTSD have a difficult time finding happiness, meaning and self esteem in their lives. Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Program and Grief Counseling Program
Happiness can be subjective in regards to what makes one smile, but at the most inner most level, it is universal. Happiness when misplaced in material things can never lead to true happiness, but values and beliefs and love and family can all have more long lasting meaning to sustaining happiness and leading one to it. One who has suffered severe trauma may have difficulty defining oneself or finding love and connection with the world, so it is important to understand how again to be happy. Obviously placing one’s faith in the most elements of happiness is critical. Far too many who even suffer no trauma, still choose false idols of happiness. They place their love in things over people, self over family, and in ideas that die with time instead of live eternally.
Some common traits of those who experience some relevance of true happiness can be found in those who possess a healthy self esteem and peace of mind. These individuals cultivate virtue and love within themselves and with others. They have healthier experiences with social interactions and bonds that form from these interactions. Most hold a belief in something greater than than themselves. Most find this in faith and religion, but any type of objective code that binds one beyond oneself, gives a person purpose and meaning.
Happy individuals usually also possess a mastery of their life. They have believable goals, moderate ambitions, and mastery of their schedule and how things are accomplished. They are not in chaos but order. Furthermore, they possess an optimistic outlook on life that is not always defined by success but by self and self worth. Unfortunately, like a thief in the night, grief and loss can occur. Even the happiest person can be robbed of everything, even beyond family, virtue and love. Grief is the price of love in this temporal world. With that truly happy individuals will deal with pain and sorrow and trauma but they will ultimately have the meaning and self esteem to guide themselves through the journey of grief and adapt and adjust to the loss.
Happy individuals are not always happy or content but they are not constantly dragged down with hate, blame, bitterness and helplessness. They may deal with trauma but eventually again find the light at the end of the tunnel. Some may require help but ultimately, their spirit may be hurt, but never killed.
Individuals who experience trauma or PTSD may not be able to find happiness in their life. They may not have the skills or the trauma was so great, it paralyzed their spirit. As those who experienced trauma reawaken, they need to work towards re-involvement into society and hobbies. They need to form and organize a plan. They need to stop worrying as much and become more optimistic and find value in life itself.
This centers around having meaning. Without meaning, something is useless. So it is imperative for those recovering from trauma to again find meaning to life. What meaning or direction can they decipher from the horrific event they witnessed or were apart of? How can this event give them meaning forward? How can the person move forward from it and do new things? Victor Frankyl during his days in the Nazi concentration camp found meaning in survival and a deeper sense of justice that would one day come. He found meaning in the smaller things that reflected goodness that existed among the evil.
A deep core to meaning usually involves having a commitment to something higher than oneself. Whether it be a philosophy, or a faith, one can anchor oneself despite any waves of the ocean of life. No matter what occurs, even it temporarily numbs, one is able to find course due to meaning. This moral compass can find true north in the most terrific storms. Many individuals are stripped of meaning at a young age because of trauma. They are unable to again find meaning.
It is important then to create self esteem. This may be difficult for someone who has been stripped of all dignity, but through therapy and work on self, one again can start to find value in oneself and separate oneself from the trauma. In finding self esteem, one can find meaning and happiness again.
Self esteem looks at value in self. It correlates with the numerous qualities that happy people experience. At its core, one sees intrinsic value in self, unconditional worth, the experience of love and growth in life.
Self esteem is realistic in self. It is based in truth, even in imperfections. It is appreciative of one’s good qualities and ignites positivity in oneself. It does not create a false arrogance or deception but sees all as equally beautiful in different ways.
Furthermore, self esteem is able to separate the value of one’s core from externals. Bad things that happen or mistakes are not the core of one’s soul. One may have had bad things accidentally occur, but that does not make oneself a bad person. Instead of “BECAUSE” of that, I am “THEREFORE ” this or that, the mind sees that “EVEN THOUGH” this occurred, “NEVERTHELESS” I am still me. The EVEN THOUGH/NEVERTHELESS logic separates someone from the incident. It does not make the person a product of the incident. This slight change of words creates an entirely different person.
Trauma victims need to cultivate self esteem. Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Program
Individuals with good self esteem are able to see their core self absent of bad events. They are able to truthfully see the bad and good, but not define oneself by any bad, but only work on the good. They are able to put this optimistic energy into change.
Again, when things go astray, they do not see these things as permanent but temporary. They do not define lack of success as themselves. They do not look to be better or less than anyone and they are more likely to see someone different due to position not necessarily more or less innate worth.
Trauma can destroy self worth. It can make one feel horrible one self and equate oneself to the trauma. One cannot differentiate between core and accidentals. One hence is always feeling less and inadequate. This can lead to competition with others, or fear of being in the open due to fear of failure. It can cause mistrust and bitterness and envy. It can force one to deny any meaning in life but trauma and the product of that trauma.
Happiness, meaning and self esteem are key to functioning individuals. Trauma can take it temporarily or permanently for some. It is important to anchor oneself to something more than the event. To anchor oneself even to something more than this world can ever take. We live in a valley of tears and bad things happen to good people, but there is good too and light that can be found. Those who are able to find meaning and self esteem and value in something greater are better able to navigate and cope with trauma during life.
Counselors can help others learn these skills and cultivate these values.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program, as well as AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Program and Crisis Intervention Program. The programs are online and self paced and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Stress Management Consulting, Grief Counseling or Crisis Counseling.
SOURCE
The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery and Growth by Glenn R. Schiraldi, PhD
Dreams are the subconscious mind actively sorting out things while the conscious mind sleeps. Dreams cover a wide variety of issues that the person deals with on a daily basis and helps resolve those issues. From a religious standpoint, some contend dreams can also be of a supernatural origin, but even within this theology, these would be rare circumstances. Science and psychology see dreams only as an internal response to external events while one sleeps.
Nightmares can have many symbolic monsters to interpret. Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Training
How one dreams and the symbols within those dreams can be confusing. Some dreams are less important in processing, while other dreams can become more persistent in regards to unresolved issues. The more trauma and intense, the more intense the pushback within the dream. In this intensity, sometimes dreams can take a darker path and become nightmares. Those who experience PTSD usually also experience intense nightmares regarding the event and at more common rate that the regular population. The more recent the event, the more detailed, while the more processed the trauma, the more symbolic the dream may become.
Unprocessed and walled off trauma that is dissociated manifests in dreams. Sometimes, these dreams will create a different outcome or they will push a certain theme. Various symbols in the dream can haunt a person. Monsters, shadows, danger, being chased, being punished, re-threatened, trapped, abused or other physical injuries can occur in these types of intense nightmares. Most nightmares occur in the rapid eye movement of sleep which is later in the night. They are created through the anxiety and fear associated with the trauma.
Until trauma is faced, these dreams will continue to haunt someone. It is hence very important to try to understand what the mind is trying to tell someone regarding the trauma. Counselors suggest confiding to others about one’s dreams. Relate the setting, what happened, how one felt and the various symbols within the dream. It is important to ask how one felt, if one felt helpless or felt fear or shame to better understand what the mind is trying to communicate. Analyze the dream and attempt to see what one’s mind is trying to sort out. Does it relate to the past trauma? Does it relate to how one acted? Does it relate to how one feels about the event? Various symbols within dreams usually have deeper meanings. The monsters themselves have meaning if one looks to analyze the dream.
For example, monsters or being chased or attacked, usually indicates one is running away from something in life itself or is afraid to face something. This is why it is common in PTSD. Individuals are terrified to face or confront the “monster”. It is important to understand who the monster is before oneself in the dream
Injuries, or wounds in a dream indicate a feeling of weakness or powerlessness in one’s life. This again is common for victims who feel they have lost all power in their lives due to the attacker.
Falling is closely associated with those who feel they have no control in their lives. They do not feel like they are in command within their personal or work life.
Being trapped is another common symbol that expresses the need to escape from a bad situation.
Whatever the type of dream and its symbol, it is important to access what it means to you
Some counselors suggest in addition to confiding to another about the dream to imagine the dream at its most intense moment and relate, “It is just a dream”. Understand that it has no power over oneself. It is good to remind oneself before bed in this regard.
Those suffering PTSD experience more nightmares. Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals
Also consider confronting the monsters in one’s dream. While awake, ask what do these monsters want? You can also confront the dream by creating an alter ending. Write or draw and discuss the new ending and see if it has any result. Dreams change as one better copes. Coping and facing trauma will indirectly affect one’s subconscious mind and help one process dissociated material that may be haunting one while one sleeps.
Before sleep, also practice deeper breathing and meditation, as well as Progressive Deep Muscle Relaxation strategies.
Dreams are what dominate one’s mind during sleep. When one is experiencing PTSD, the trauma will find a way to be expressed and sometimes dreams are the only outlet until one chooses to cope and deal with the issue itself. Learning to cope with PTSD, especially through dream management is critical to overcoming PTSD and helping the subconscious mind properly store the memory.
If you would like to learn more about Stress Management Training, then please review AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Stress Management.
Many individuals deal with depression on a daily basis. They may not even know they are depressed and push through life. High functioning depression does not leave one bed ridden but parasitically wears the individual down on a daily basis. Like most depression, it may not have an acute reason or loss but merely manifests due to family history or past unresolved trauma. One however continues to function within society and fulfill social obligations.
Many individuals are depressed yet still high functioning. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training
The article, “Understanding High-Functioning Depression” by Sean Glover takes a closer look at High Functioning Depression. He states,
“High-functioning depression, also referred to as dysthymia, can be hard to spot. It doesn’t look like stereotypical depression. Unlike major depressive episodes, which are intense, debilitating, and time-limited, high-functioning depression is low-level, chronic, and doesn’t have a clear trigger. Its very existence can feel maddening.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The courses and program are independent study and online and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Prolonged Grief Disorder is a complication in the grieving process that prevents the person from adjusting to the loss. It closely resembles depression but is slightly different and can cause as much mental and social turmoil in one’s life. Unlike depression, prolonged grief has a definite source.
Prolonged Grief disorder is a complication in the grief process. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The article, “The pain of prolonged grief disorder” by Allison McCook looks at what Prolonged Grief Disorder entails and the conditions that must be met to be diagnosed with it. She states,
“Every human being will experience grief at some point in their lives — it’s a fundamental human experience. “I think it’s important to underscore that people are equipped to grieve, and for the most part people do it OK,” says Anthony Mancini, a psychological researcher at Pace University in Pleasantville, New York. But some mourners are not OK. When my mother died, I developed what’s known as prolonged grief disorder (PGD), a different sort of grief that psychologists are just beginning to acknowledge and understand. People with PGD — sometimes called “complicated grief” — aren’t just struggling to “get over it.” They have a defined disorder”
Complications in grief can occur and when they do, individuals sometimes need care and guidance from a licensed professional counselor.
Professional counselors can also become certified in Grief Counseling. AIHCP offers a four year certification in Grief Counseling for qualified professionals. The program is online and independent study.
Guilt is a necessary emotion. When anchored with a good conscience, it provokes truth and justice when wrong is committed. It prevents future wrong doing in some cases and helps guide the person to proper moral outcome. It is hence sometimes good to feel guilt. If one lacks guilt in appropriate circumstances, it is a sign of a deeper and more sinister moral flaw. Sociopaths are incapable of guilt and can commit the most grievous offenses without any sense of emotional wrong doing.
Victims can carry disproportionate grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Certification
For the more tender hearted and as well as those who experience trauma, guilt can sometimes become excessive and over play its reach. It can become a pathological agent that prevents proper healing. When guilt is not properly processed and understood according to reality, it can then continue to haunt a person and prevent emotional healing. Guilt must be processed. If due to trauma it becomes part of dissociative material, then it can linger. It needs to find resolution, where appropriate sorrow is displayed and a chance for change and growth occur. When guilt is stunted, either not accepted or over felt, then it can keep a person stuck in the past.
With trauma, guilt is usually not proportionate and a variety of distortions exist. These distortions continue to exist when individuals keep trauma to themselves and do not face it. This is why dialogue is so critical to healing. It allows the wound to bleed and also the opportunity to discuss falsehoods regarding the traumatic event hence allowing integration of the memory.
Most distortions create an imbalance of guilt. Either the person blames oneself 100 percent or finds no blame at all. Associated with this are usually feelings that one does not deserve to live or survivor guilt. In addition, many individuals feel the guilt is critical to show they still care and that they must punish themselves and repeat the pain. Multiple reasons incur this guilt. Many believe they are guilty because they were afraid, or found relief. Others find guilt in having to kill, making a mistake, finding enjoyment in the event, wanting to die, or expressing extreme hatred. Others find guilt in their actions in not being able to save others, not taking precautions, freezing under pressure, not stopping the abuse, or not saying “I love you” one last time.
Many things can haunt a person who experienced trauma. Depending on the trauma and event, they can differ, but they all carry a haunting voice that judges what one felt, did not feel, did, or did not do. Distortions to the event can amplify the sorrow the person experiences.
Dialogue is obvious the first step in unlocking guilt. Various cognitive therapies look to identify guilt and then properly ascertain legitimacy of it. This involves discussing with a therapist the event itself and verbalizing the details. The patient then must attribute the level of what they think was their fault in a numerical percentage. Following this, the therapist challenges the events and asks probing questions of who else may be at fault. The guilt is then re-assessed and a recalculation occurs in which proportionate percentages of guilt are discovered to be less. This process can be repeated weekly to illustrate to the victim and patient that the guilt attributed is far from fair.
Also, the therapist can help the victim distinguish between the emotion of concern versus guilt, as well as shame and guilt. Many equate these emotions with guilt. The sexual victim may equate shame with guilt. In doing so, one can then start to attack the various distortions of guilt.
It is also important to help the patient understand their decision under pressure. Normal decision making under peaceful situations are quite different than decisions under duress. Fight or flight mechanisms can erupt and many lose rationality. So it is good to point out that one does not think the same way under trauma as if not. A therapist can also help the patient look at the choices that were available, the time constraints, all the information at the time and the intent of the outcome.
Another important way to help one see the past is to have the person play the role of two. As if an advisor or friend, to respond to one’s own criticism. By separating oneself from the event, and counseling one as if a friend, one can then begin to see the overall picture. So many therapists recommend patients play a two role therapy of talking and then responding as two different individuals.
It is important to properly process guilt in trauma. Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Program
In addition, various rituals can help. Spiritual visualization of healing, as well as finding forgiveness through a higher power.
Through this, one is better able to properly rank their guilt and true proportionate role in the traumatic event. The person can then understand the situation, move on from it and process it. Through this, the victim can be better prepared for the future and understand the role he or she played.
Of course, various therapies help individuals with PTSD and trauma better recollect the situation and process any negative emotions. EFT, Rewind Techniques, TIR and EMOR are all way therapists can better help an individual relate to the emotions and events of a particular trauma. They can also help the person cognitively restructure the event appropriately to reality. Removing inappropriate guilt is obviously an important step.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program, as well as Stress Management Program and Crisis Intervention Program. All programs are helpful in teaching professionals to guide others through trauma. The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.
Sources:
“The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery and Growth” by Glenn Schiraldi, PhD
With war comes a type of traumatic loss than many experience. Whether soldier or civilian, the pain and loss is very traumatic. The losses can vary from loved ones to home to identity itself. They can long term consequences of depression, prolonged grief and PTSD. The losses are so severe that they can implant a death imprint on the very person.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Grief is part of life. As long as love and loss exist, grief will exist. The process of grief is an important part of growing and adjusting. It is not something that is to be rushed, ignored, or not valued. While it is an unpleasant part of life, the grieving process helps one heal and learn to live and adjust to the loss. Grief does not go away but one learns to live with it and the body and the mind must go through the process of grieving to properly adjust.
Grieving is a natural part of life. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your goals
The article, “Feeling Pressure to Grow from Grief” from “What’s Your Grief” takes a closer look at the importance of the grieving process. The article states,
“What can be missed is recognizing grief as a handbrake for the motion of life. It is an important and natural evolutionary force telling you to let yourself be, to sit, to grieve, to mourn. This leap to meaning can be an attempt to bypass the reality of loss.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
