Negative coping can make grief worse than it is. It can lead to later complications. It is hence important to do grief work. It is important to acknowledge the loss and work with it. This may involve some bad days but it is working towards an adjustment of living without something or someone. By avoiding the loss, or doing more uninhibited activities, or taking pills or drugs, one is ignoring the loss and problem.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling
Human bonds are very important since human beings are social. When bonds are not formed properly in early childhood, the effects on the personality of an individual can be devastating. Individuals can have difficulty forming healthy and trusting relationships with other individuals. It can affect relationships and other social bonds with friends and family.
Some individuals may have inhibited or uninhibited attachment disorders which avoid intimacy or form superficial and fake relationships without substance. Some may exhibit more avoidance while others may display an extreme anxiety with others. This has tremendous affects on loss and grief as well because it forms complications when a person passes away.
The video below discusses the topic of attachment disorders in greater detail. In the meantime, please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Different minority groups share different social traumas and collective grief. The LGBTQ community is no different in experiencing its own pain and suffering in the world. The collective grief that is shared within the community when a night club is shot up not only resonates within their community but also causes trauma and fears of other hate crimes that can be perpetrated against them.
Individually, they face uphill battles within their families, churches and communities. Many are discriminated against by family members or potential jobs. Some lose parents or siblings over their identity. Others face issues within their faith as moral questions take central stage. Along with marriage rights and civil rights, the grief of having an alternative life style can be over bearing.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Diversity Certification. The program is a sub certification for those already certified as Grief Counselors. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals looking to better meet the diverse grief experienced by minority groups.
Grief effects the whole entirety of the human person. The emotional aftershocks of a loss are so emotionally devastating that the after shocks rock the brain and in turn physically rattle the body. Individuals who lose a person they loved hence experience a total reckoning as the body looks to readjust and recalibrate to the loss itself. When this occurs, the brain itself is rewiring itself with neuro pathways to associate with the loss and initial unprocessed and raw feelings. These raw feelings surge from the amygdala and trigger a variety of neurochemicals within the brain that deal with the loss and pain of someone dying.
Grief and loss have a staggering effect on the brain. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Like stress, the flight or fight response is activated which increases the heart rate, raises blood pressure and produces cortisol to deal with the stressful and painful trauma of losing someone. This of course gives more free reign to the amygdala over the reasoning area of the pre-frontal cortex. This is what leads to more emotional outbursts, less reason, less memory, and less concentration itself. In reality, the brain and its entirety of parts is in some way responding to the loss itself.
The article, “How does grief affect the brain?” by Joe Phelan looks at the many issues associated with the brain’s reactions to loss and the after effects upon the human body. The article is strongly based off Lisa Shulman, a Neurologist who studied extensively the effects of grief on the brain. According to Shulman,
“The amygdala [the brain’s center for emotions], deep inside the primitive part of the brain, is always on the lookout for threats,” Shulman said. “When triggered, it sets off a cascade of events that put the entire body on high alert — the heart speeds up, breathing rate increases and blood circulation is increased to the muscles to prepare to fight or flee.”
“How does grief affect the brain?”. Joe Phelan. January 8th, 2023. Live Science
Helping the brain heal is what grief work is all about. Grief work helps re-create new neuro pathways that can associate other connections with the deceased that are not only associated with the death itself. The brain, evolutionary, will long the absence of a loved one. This is critical for survival, so naturally it takes time to create new neuro pathways that are beyond simply mourning and trying to find the one who is no longer present. The yearning is a direct result of this and until adaptation manifests and new neuro pathways with new experiences are paved, then one remains in deep grief.
Rewiring one’s neuro pathways in relationship to the loss involves grief work and reconstructive narratives of one’s life
When Pro-Longed Grief occurs or more severe grief due to trauma, complications can occur which can keep the brain trapped in acute grief. The unprocessed and raw emotional pain, similar to memories and sensations in PTSD, are not processed into long term memory. This can lead to longer grieving periods until the information and memory is properly processed, stored and new neuro pathways allow for different connections with the deceased.
It is hence a sad tragedy when grief literally kills one of a broken heart. When things are not processed, adjustments not made, the constant chronic state of fight or flight can produce extra stress on the heart and blood pressure itself.
Reworking Neuro Pathways
Meaning reconstruction is key in helping rework neuro pathways in the brain that associate the loss in a new perspective but also allow memory to properly be processed within the brain. This helps prevent intense emotion that oscillate with more frequency and intensity in the early stages of the brain from continuing to do so many months later. Meaning reconstruction also helps create a new narrative regarding the deceased, re-establishing a new relationship not found in the temporal world. It also helps connect the loss with the present and future, as if chapters within a book. The past chapters of the person’s life and the deep connection with parent or spouse are still integral parts, but those relationships are adjusted and understood in new ways of the person’s next chapters.
Ways to begin to carve out new neuro pathways include journaling and memorializing. Through these two grief works, one is able to remember and honor. The words on paper can help the person adjust and the new memorials can help them cherish the past but also strengthen the bond in its new form. Grief work is tough but throughout, the brain begins to form new connections and grief leaves its acute stage and enters into a far less disruptive force.
Does this mean the loss goes away? The sense of loss never leaves. The connection in the brain and memories can trigger intense emotion, but these triggers are natural and not pathological as in cases of PTSD or depression. As long as love once existed, then the loss will always have meaning and tears can emerge at a moment’s notice. This is not bad but is the result of an emotional scar of losing someone very dear and special. It is to many individuals a sign of their undying love and reminder of the value of the person no longer present.
Conclusion
To understand more about how grief effects the brain, please review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training
Grief has a profound effect on the soul, mind and body. It takes time to adjust to it without ever truly healing. However, like all wounds, despite the scar, one heals. Retraining the brain so one can again emotionally function is the aspect of grief work. Adjustment is essential and new neuro pathways are key to that adjustment. With so many false ideas about grief and myths regarding it, individuals can grasp in the chaos of loss longer than they need to. Grief Counselors can help individuals suffering from the trauma of loss and help guide them through the difficult process.
Please also review The American Academy of Grief Counseling’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Bibliography
“How does grief affect the brain?”. Joe Phelan. January 8th, 2023. Live Science
Additional Resources
“How your brain copes with grief, and why it takes time to heal”. Berly McCoy. December 20th, 2021. NPR. Access here
“How grief rewires the brain and can affect health – and what to do about it”. Michael Merschel, March 10th, 2021. The American Heart Association. Access here
“What Does Grief Do to Your Brain?”. Traci Pedersen. May 6th, 2022. Psych Central. Access here
“How Grief Changes the Brain”. Sophia Dembllng. August 18th, 2022. Psychology Today. Access here
People of color, minorities, and those not traditionally of European descent face unique struggles, traumas, losses and griefs. These diverse groups include African Americans, Native Americans, Latinos, Asian Americans and historically in the past even Irish Americans in the 1800s. Those who failed to fit the WASP mode have a unique cultural and diverse grief experience. While America on paper was the land of the free and equality for all, the reality fell short for many peoples. Slavery of African Americans and genocide against Native Americans are only but a few dark moments in American history against others. While history cannot be rewritten it can be remembered. While patriotism and love of country is critical, it does not mean patriotism is equal to nationalism and blind eyes to sins of one’s nation.
Individuals within minority groups face unique and collective grief from the past but also experience trauma collectively and sometimes individually in the present. Police brutality, racial profiling and racially motivated shootings all can trigger a more hyper vigilance within minority communities and individuals. As Grief Counselors it is important to see the scars of collective grief and how it imparts on various individuals within minority communities.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Diversity Program. The program is for certified Grief Counselors looking to enhance their grief background and add additional certifications to their resume. The program is online and independent study and opens many to the different types of grief and loss and history faced by minority communities.
Minorities suffer a unique type of collective grief that is experienced through a shared history and shared present day struggle. Whether African American, Latino, Asian, or Native American, minorities and cultures face unique persecutions in history that manifest within the individual consciousness. The history and persecution of minorities in the United States is a black eye to this nation but through proper understanding and accountability, these past wrongs can be made to awaken the current generation to better future choices.
Minorities share a unique and collective grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Diversity Certification
Unfortunately, racism and hatred still exist towards minorities. Police brutality and inequality re-open old wounds and create a sense of loss within minority communities that create a sense of fear, mistrust and grief within it’s members. Grief Counselors need to understand this unique grief and the issues these minority groups face daily.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Diversity Certification. The program is a supplemental certification for those who are already Grief Counselor certified and looking to enhance their understanding of grief and loss within diverse minority groups. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals.
Grief care and support is a key element in mental health. It is not a pathological treatment but a humane way to be there for another person. This is why it is lay and pastoral in nature within church, chaplaincy, hospice, funeral, and other pastoral settings. Many professionals help individuals deal with basic human loss and how to come to terms with it. AIHCP certifies many individuals to help others in this adjustment to loss and how to understand the nature of grief and loss itself.
There is a large difference between grief support and clinical grief counseling. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program
AIHCP’s certifications also aid others who are clinical professionals who wish to obtain a Grief Counseling Certification. However, licensed and clinical professionals are innately able to offer more than basic lay and pastoral grief counseling but can offer clinical counseling for grief that goes off the rails. When grief becomes pro-longer, complicated or depression exists, clinical and licensed counselors are needed to help and aid. Those who obtain certification in grief counseling but are only lay in nature cannot offer clinical assistance in grief itself.
It is important to understand these key differences between lay and pastoral grief counseling via grief support and licensed and clinical grief counseling itself. This is one of the most numerous questions individuals ask when becoming grief certified. They do not understand the differences between grief support and clinical grief counseling and what a certification in grief counseling permits them to perform. Again the answer is simple, ones certification enhances understanding in the grieving process but the level at which one helps others is determined not by the certification but the professional status of the individual seeking certification
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.
Change is a part of loss. Any loss of something incurs the debt of change and adjustment. Aging is no different. After adolescence, midlife is a difficult time for many men and women. The loss of youth itself can play a large role in anxiety and loss. Greying hairs, loss of hair, wrinkles, gained weight, and lack of past athleticism can cause grief and sadness. In addition, reflection on missed goals, lost opportunities and failures in life can play a impactful role on how one views oneself. Still, even more so, lost of family and new family roles can terrify some individuals.
Change occurs in middle-age and how one copes means the most. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
These shocks and adjustments can lead to negative coping where individuals revert to immature behaviors, utilize drugs, avoid responsibilities, purchase lavish things or pay for expensive surgical procedures. Positive coping reflects and adjusts in a mature fashion. It may look to accomplish goals that were abandoned or re-calculate where one is in life. It may also help individuals better appreciate what one has or even reflect on the advantages of middle age over early 20s.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in grief counseling
Ambiguous Grief is a loss that cannot find closure. It often involves dealing with someone in coma, possesses a mental disorder that prevents them from living a fulfilling life, or cases of abduction, missing children, missing pets, or soldiers lost at war. The person is unable to find closure in processing the type of loss. Some give up hope because holding on hurts too much, while others never surrender. Numerous emotions erupt in this type of loss. Individuals may be enraged or feel guilty.
Ambiguous grief and the pain of not knowing prevents closure. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Some look to find meaning in the loss through social activism and helping others find closure. Overall, it is a grief ripe with complications that haunts the person the rest of his or her life. It is good to allow those who wish to hold on to hope to continue within realism, while others who need to let it go, to finally let it go. Depression is very common with this type of loss so in many cases extensive counseling and support is needed.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification
Human beings are social creatures by nature. They need care and nurturing in their infancy to properly form bonds with caregivers. These bonds teach security and help bolster individuals and their social development with others they meet. Future intimate relationships and friendships are dependent upon initial bonds. Healthy and secure bonds with the primary caregiver translate to healthier social interaction in the future.
John Bowlby, famous psychoanalyst, worked extensively in the area of attachment. His attachment theory today remains a benchmark for understanding individuals who suffer various attachment disorders stemming from their infancy and early childhood.
Infants need trust and security in forming early bonds. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The article, “What Is an Attachment Disorder?” by Amy Morin examines the various types of attachment disorders. The article discusses the origins of attachment disorders, the types, and how they manifest during childhood and later in life. Morin states,
“An attachment disorder is a condition that affects mood or behavior and makes it difficult for people to form and maintain relationships with others. These conditions usually begin in early childhood, but attachment issues may also persist into adulthood. Attachment issues are not an official diagnosis, but people use the term to refer to an insecure attachment style in adults. Adults with insecure attachment styles may express avoidance or ambivalence in relationships or behave in disorganized or inconsistent ways.”
“What Is an Attachment Disorder?”. Amy Morin. November 14th, 2022. VeryWellMind
Attachment disorders can play havoc with individual’s future relationships and how they form future bonds. It is so critical to give little children the love and nurture they need. When a child’s needs are not met, they can lose trust. Without trust, the child is becomes untrusting and unable to trust other caregivers or form other bonds. Bowlby noticed this in his observations of little babies that were cared for when they cried or were hungry as opposed to babies that were left to cry by their parents or their needs were not met. This created unhealthy bonds with the caregiver and proceeded forward. What should have been a healthy bond that is trusting and secure, the child exhibited lack of trust and various insecurities.
Clinical Attachment Disorders
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders recognizes two distinct types of attachment disorders. They both are due to lack of care and needs met at a young age and both exhibit insecurity and lack of trust but they manifest differently. The first is Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder in which the child and later the adult exhibit problems forming true and lasting relationships with others but will look to form superficial bonds that are not permanent. In children, this is displayed with a lack of shyness around strangers or other adults. In teen years, they may outwardly form relationships but they are unable to find connection with others and true meaning. This obviously can lead to many superficial issues.
Children can form avoidant or anxious type disorders when healthy bonds are not formed.
The second type of attachment disorder is Reactive Attachment Disorder. The child and later adult are unable to form new bonds with anyone. They are quiet, untrusting of caregivers, and avoidant of forming new relationships. Many are unable to form the necessary connection to have any type of meaningful relationships. They in turn will jump from relationship to relationship without having any true connection or meaning.
Characteristics of Attachment Disorders
Insecure attachment disorders form due to the lack of security that most children receive at an early age. Without the security and love, the child grows into new relationships with serious trust issues. Anxious-Insecure Attachment is the labeled term. The child exhibits with the primary caregiver a very needy and clingy relationship that pushes for and craves attention but due to the lack of emotional support leads to the numerous issues of mistrust and anxiety in adult relationships. Anxiety apart from a partner develops and a range of issues can erupt within the relationship itself. These individuals can become very possessive and clingy in a relationship.
The other spectrum involves Avoidant-Insecure. This behavior as opposed to clingy and anxious behavior looks to avoid. These types of children avoid future relationships with adults and as adults, themselves, have a difficult time ever forming permanent bonds with another person. As children they will look for others to meet needs and form superficial bonds. They will become unhealthy independent of others. In future relationships, they can elusive or afraid to commit.
There are also a variety of Disorganized-Insecure attachments where rage or emotion overtake individuals or chaotic anxiety.
The Importance of Secure Attachment
Obviously life is about relationships and social bonds. A secure attachment permits trust. In turn a healthy attachment permits one to be trusting, open, available, sensitive, responding and accepting to others. Those without form bonds that are clouded in emotional rage, distrust, anxiety and avoidance.
Unhealthy bonds carry into adulthood and Anxious-Insecure or Avoidant-Insecure disorders can manifest in men and women
In grief and loss, attachment is key. The greater the attachment, the greater the loss and adjustment. Individuals who have healthy relationships grieve the loss but with less complications due to emotional barriers that prevented the relationship from being more healthy. If a parent passes, an adult who has a attachment disorder may have conflicting emotions regarding the loss and not process the loss the same way as a person with a healthy relationship and bond. The sting of grief is still great within a normal bond and could still due to other implications become complicated, but unhealthy attachments can bring other emotional baggage. Grief Counselors who are not licensed need to recognize possible attachment disorders and refer individuals to licensed counselors who can better help them with the complications of the loss.
Helping Children with Attachment Disorders
Beyond therapy from a licensed counselor, children can benefit from consistency, schedule and establishing boundaries. It is important to discuss emotions and how one feels. The goal is to help the child feel some sort of security with guaranteed promises and actions to meet the needs that were not met before.
Conclusion
Forming secure bonds with a young infant and toddler is key to helping the child develop future healthy relationships
Individuals who due to lack of care in infancy and young childhood will experience avoidant behaviors or anxious behaviors in future relationships. They will have difficulty forming healthy bonds with others. Grieving the loss of others can also become more complicated when attachment disorders are present.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in grief counseling.
Additional Resources
“4 Types of Attachment Disorders”. March 23, 2017. The Holy Mess. Access here
“Types of Attachment Styles and What They Mean”. Rhona Lewis. September 25th, 2022. Healthline. Access here
“What Is Reactive Attachment Disorder?”. Amy Morin. October 11th, 2021. VeryWellMind. Access here
“Attachment” Psychology Today Staff. Psychology Today. Access here
