Author: Dominick Flarey

Unique Nature of Female Anger

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Like many stereotypes and cultural norms, women are expected to behave certain ways.  Unlike men, according to these norms, women cannot entertain rage or anger in public.  These images are farther from the truth for all human beings experience anger, but women are expected to internalize anger.  Quite the opposite with men, who release anger and rage and have created their own stereotype that males are more aggressive.  These ideals of human behavior according to the genders are opposite in grief, where women externalize and men internalize.  Which emotion that is shown or hidden is applied to gender by society and when one sees conflicting displays, individuals begin to question.  The reality again is that all human beings are different and even anger is not always internalized in women, much the same way grief is not supposed to always be internalized by men.

Society dismisses anger in women. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification

 

The ideas of women and aggression are mostly seen with motherhood or romantic slight.  Other than this, cultural norms dictate a more timid and peaceful gender, but this can be damaging to a woman.  Like all human beings, expression of any emotion is key and the ability to properly process anger is essential to existence.  The article, “HELL HATH NO FURY: AN EXPLORATION OF FEMALE RAGE” by Pema Bakshi looks at gender roles, anger in women, and how women can better express anger in the modern world.  She states,

“Rage is a response. My rage has been one that festers. Like a flame that whips itself from smoke to spark to a raging inferno, it clouds my vision and wells in my eyes. It’s the clench in my jaw and the terminal tension in my shoulders. With a taut smile fixed on my mug, though, it’s hardly recognisable – anger in women seldom is. But the thing that fuses rage with fire, is that it can swallow us, or, when mobilised, aid our survival.  Data from global research firm Gallup, collated from over 150 countries across a decade, tells us that women are only getting angrier. And as Jennifer Cox, a London-based psychotherapist and founder of Women Are Mad, explains, this anger in women is chronically misunderstood.”

“HELL HATH NO FURY: AN EXPLORATION OF FEMALE RAGE”. Bakshi, P. Grazia

To read read the entire article, please click here

Commentary

 

It is important to recognize women and their anger. Too many times, women are labeled emotional and hormonal.  It is important for women to be able express emotion without labeling. It is important to actual investigate what is occurring and why women are upset.

The societal expectations and stereotypes around anger in women

Society has long perpetuated the stereotype of the “angry woman” as someone who is irrational, hysterical, and out of control. This stereotype not only undermines the validity of women’s anger but also limits their ability to express themselves fully. Women are often discouraged from expressing anger, being labeled as “difficult” or “overreacting” when they do so. This societal bias creates a double standard, where men are allowed to express anger more freely while women are expected to remain calm and composed.

The consequences of repressed anger in women

Repressed anger can have detrimental effects on a woman’s mental and physical well-being. When anger is not expressed or properly managed, it can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression. Additionally, repressed anger can manifest in passive-aggressive behavior or self-destructive habits. It is essential to recognize that anger is a valid emotion and find healthy ways to express and process it.

Empowering women to express and navigate their anger

To empower women to express and navigate their anger, it is crucial to challenge societal expectations and stereotypes. Women need to be encouraged to embrace their anger as a natural and valid emotion. By acknowledging their anger, women can begin to understand the underlying causes and triggers, allowing for healthier expressions and responses.

A woman’s anger should not be dismissed as mental or hormonal. It should be recognized and validated.

Transforming anger into positive action

Anger has the power to be a catalyst for positive change. Instead of suppressing or lashing out in anger, women can channel their energy into productive actions. This could involve advocating for social justice, creating art, or participating in activism. By transforming anger into positive action, women can empower themselves and others, creating lasting change.

Tools and techniques for managing anger in women

Managing anger requires developing effective tools and techniques. Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and physical activities such as yoga or boxing can help release pent-up anger in a healthy way. Journaling and talking to a trusted friend or therapist can provide an outlet for processing and understanding anger. It is important to find what works best for each individual, as everyone’s journey with anger is unique.

The importance of self-care in anger management

Self-care plays a vital role in anger management. Engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation can help reduce stress and prevent anger from escalating. This could include practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-reflection. Taking care of oneself is not selfish; it is a necessary step in managing anger and promoting overall well-being.

Seeking support and professional help for anger issues in women

If anger becomes overwhelming or begins to interfere with daily life, seeking support and professional help is essential. Therapy can provide a safe space for women to explore their anger and develop healthy coping mechanisms. A therapist can also help address any underlying issues or traumas that may contribute to the anger. It is crucial to reach out for help without shame or guilt, as seeking support is a sign of strength and a step towards healing.

Empowering women to advocate for change and address the root causes of their anger

Anger can often be a response to societal injustice, inequality, or personal experiences of oppression. By empowering women to advocate for change, we can address the root causes of their anger. This involves supporting women in using their anger constructively, whether it be through activism, community organizing, or political involvement. By addressing the systemic issues that contribute to women’s anger, we can work towards a more equitable society for all.

Conclusion

Empowering the angry woman is not about encouraging aggression or violence but about recognizing and validating women’s anger. By challenging societal expectations, providing tools for anger management, and advocating for change, we can help women navigate and transform their anger into positive action. Supporting women in expressing their anger and addressing its root causes is a step towards creating a more just and inclusive society for everyone. So let us embrace and empower the angry woman, for her anger has the potential to change the world.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification

Additional Resources

“Why Women Need to Honor Their Anger”. Golden, B. (2018). Psychology Today.  Access here

“Anger in women”. Hayden, A. (2023). Women’s Health Network. Access here

“4 Facts About Women’s Anger That’ll Help You Keep It Healthy”. Fraga, J. (2018).  Healthline. Access here

“Are women getting angrier?”. (2022). BBC News.  Access here

 

Grief and Unfulfilled Needs Video

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

In life we can lose what we possess but also lose ideas of what we thought we would one day possess.   If one ever wanted children, or to have a family and this never occurs, then there is a void and sense of loss in adulthood.  While it was never possessed, one possessed the concept.  One became attached to the concept and when this concept was not actualized or fulfilled, a sense of loss can still overcome a person.

Sometimes sadness is a result of things never had but never gained. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The video below reviews some concepts in this type of abstract grief and how individuals can learn to be better cope with unfulfilled dreams.  Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

 

Please review the video below

Seasonal Depression and How to Cope

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Seasonal Depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is considered a major depressive disorder.  This particular type of depression exist with the turns of the season, most prominently as Summer turns to Fall and the days become shorter and the weather cooler and more wet.  The weather change and lack of light can create within the brain an altered chemistry   While negative mindset can play a role, most who experience Seasonal Affective Disorder already have a history with depression.   The early darkness, change of biorhythms, aligned with colder weather tend to force individuals inside and quartered with less exercise and social interaction.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) coincides with the change of seasons, usually Fall into Winter. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Coupled with less vitamin D that sustains higher levels or serotonin, individuals can experience SAD.  While 20 percent of the population experiences Winter Blues, especially after Christmas, those with SAD experience a true depression.  Like all depression, individuals will lose interest in life, isolate, become anxious, feel bad and low about sense of self, lack energy, and have difficulties interacting with others.   The Cleveland Clinic in its article, “Seasonal Depression (Seasonal Affective Disorder)” gives a comprehensive review of the disorder, as well as possible treatment options and ways to reduce its severity.  The article states,

“If you have symptoms of seasonal affective disorder (SAD), don’t try to diagnose yourself. See your healthcare provider for a thorough evaluation. You may have another reason for your depression. Many times, seasonal affective disorder is part of a more complex mental health condition. Your provider may refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist. These mental health professionals will ask you about your symptoms. They’ll consider your pattern of symptoms and decide if you have seasonal depression or another mood disorder. You may need to fill out a questionnaire to determine if you have SAD.”

“Seasonal Depression (Seasonal Affective Disorder)”. Cleveland Clinic. (2022).

To review the entire article, please click here

Commentary

Of the 5 percent of the population more prone to SAD, those who have a family history of depression, have a greater chance of experiencing it. Obviously, those who suffer from it also live in temperate areas in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres who experience the four seasons.  Interesting enough, some individuals can experience SAD during Summer months as well.  To be diagnosed, mental healthcare professionals will ask for a case history and only if one has experienced depression correlated with seasonal change two straight seasons can one possibly be labeled with SAD.

SAD is more than the Winter Blues but is associated with a lack of serotonin causing depression. This is due to less light and new sleeping pattern during the Winter season for those with predisposition to depression

 

Again SAD is more than merely the Winter Blues, but a true depression in all of its fury.  Individuals will suffer the classical physical and mental symptoms associated with depression with the turn of the season.  The depression is related to brain chemistry and hence it is important for many to be prescribed an anti-depressant by a mental healthcare professional.  The need to balance the serotonin is key in helping most. In addition, supplementing Vitamin D is critical.  Many individuals in temperate zones, especially during the Winter, exhibit extremely low levels of vitamin D in the body.   This is not merely an issue for those suffering from SAD, but also anyone who lives in areas with less sun over an extended period of time.

For some, cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT can be beneficial.  Talking about the situation and understanding how SAD works and how to reframe things can help some individuals better cope.   Reframing can look at the positives of the months during Winter and some of the experiences that others do not have, such as the beauty of fresh snow upon the trees, or Winter sports, or particular festivals pertaining to the season.  One can create a cozy Winter atmosphere that brings joy to oneself inside.  Whether its a fire, or comfortable slippers, the little things can make oneself feel better.  In addition, individuals should attempt to do special things during the darker months.  At least once a week, one should attempt to plan something to look forward to despite the bad weather.  Most importantly, exercise is critical to good health but also mental health.  The movement of the body, the heart rate, and physical motions can help neurotransmitters better operate in the brain.  Many individuals “hibernate” the Winter away and eat poorly and sleep too much.  It is so important to step outside, walk, or go to the gym during Winter.  It is essential for both physical and mental health.

It is important to get out, exercise and be active during the Winter months

 

An extreme treatment for those with severe SAD can turn to light therapy.  White light at a higher level than regular lighting in the house can be set up throughout the house.  The treatment encourages more vitamin D and also more serotonin in the body.  While the therapy can be successful, it can also carry risks causing potential eye damage if not properly utilized, as well as headaches or migraines for some.  Moderate and safe use of it is an important rule to follow with light therapy.

Conclusion

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.  It is important to note that while many grief counselors are also licensed counselors, only licensed counselors can discuss and treat Seasonal Depression.   Pastoral and non-licensed counselors can discuss it with a client but must refer those who exhibit signs of it to a licensed professional who can treat the pathological condition.

While SAD only affects 5 percent of the population, it is important to find treatment if you are one of those 5 percent.

 

For those who do suffer from SAD, it is important to seek treatment and utilize coping strategies.  While Winter may not be favorite season of the year for many, it does not need to become a horrific experience.  There is joy and light in any season and how one operates and maintains a schedule is key to keeping healthy and strong during the long Winter months.

Additional Resources

“What is seasonal affective disorder?”. National Institute of Mental Health. Access here

“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)”. Mayo Clinic. (2021).  Access here

“What to Know About Seasonal Depression”. Seo, H. (2022).  New York Times.  Access here

“14 Ways to Ease Seasonal Depression”. Orenstein, B. & Pugle, M. (2023). Everyday Health. Access here

Anger Management and Letting Go of Grudges

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Revenge, holding a grudge, not forgiving and hating others over past actions leads to terrible consequences, both personally and socially.  Even if, the grudge or anger against an individual is justified, holding these types of feelings can still be negative.  It is important to learn how to properly let go of somethings and use proper channels to deal with others.  Anger Management can help individuals learn to let go and diffuse hate and misgivings about others.

Allowing anger to exist in oneself due to a grudge does more harm to oneself than the other

 

There are somethings one cannot forget.  There are somethings that are petty as well, but whether small or large, legitimate or illegitimate or hate or revenge, one will suffer personally when one allows anger and hate to ferment overtime.  Here are a few things to consider.

First, what is the nature of the offense against oneself.  Was the offense of a criminal nature or a minor nature?

Additionally, what role did one pay in the offense?  Analyzing oneself is important.  Was it due to one’s own selfishness or envy?

Third, what is one’s philosophical life view?  Is it an “eye for an eye” or “turn the other cheek”?  Is there middle ground?  Can one alter a life philosophy that is causing hatred and discord in one’s life?

Fourth, how can one channel the anger?  Can one find justice through appropriate legal action?  If it is not of a criminal nature, how can one channel anger?  Can one let it go after so many years to find peace?  Can one forgive but not forget?  Forgiveness sometimes is more beneficial for oneself, since it removes the poison caused by the other person.  The healing permits the person to find peace and also better physical health.

Fifth, can one utilize anger management, meditation and other calming strategies to help one find inner peace? Sometimes individuals need counseling to let go.

These are important things to consider when dealing with grudges.   Overall, most individuals deal with minor grudges throughout life and in turn these minor grudges into larger issues that not only  make social situations uncomfortable but also overtime damage physical health.  When one is so pre-occupied with negative occurrences with others, it puts one’s body in a state of tension and fight or flight.  The body produces cortisol and epinephrine during high stress that raises heart rate, constricts blood vessels and muscles and prepares the body for action.  If one holds a grudge and anger constantly, then these acute reactions become constant.  Constant exposure overtime damages the body.  In addition to the body, the tension of holding grudges increases chances of anxiety and depression.

For one’s own good, it is important to let things go or at least proportionately to a point where if justice is needed, it is provided, but one’s own constant internal struggle is limited.  Spiritual individuals can sometimes find solace in leaving it in a higher power’s hands or even a karmic justice of the universe.  Once, however, things are removed from one’s hands, it is best to accept what one can control and not allow something to tear at one inside.  This may be easier said than done for those who are victims of crime, but even if crime or petty insult, holding on to anger and hate only hurts oneself overtime.

At a social and communal level, one merely needs to look on the map at the countless wars occurring now or throughout history.  Blood feuds, grudges and ethnic hate carry one from generation to generation causing war and genocide.   At family levels, uncles or brothers refuse to speak to each other causing family divide.  A family grudge can cause strife during the holidays.  While a small grudge may not lead to such extremes, one can see the power of hate at a micro level grow like a small flame into a massive forest fire.  It is important to control anger, or slight, justified or unjustified in a way that does not spread hate or damage oneself.

The article, “5 Dangerous Consequences of Holding a Grudge” by Sean Grover takes a closer look at how personal grudges can overwhelm one’s entire life and lead to personal destruction.  He states,

“Do you have trouble getting over a grudge? Do you obsessively ruminate about payback? Does the thought of “getting even” please you? If so, chances are you’re a grudge collector. And that’s not good news. Beneath the surface of every grudge is hurt. Betrayal, deceit, and broken trust are among the most common sources of grievances.  Of course, we all eventually suffer hurt and humiliation, often at the hands of friends or loved ones. What you choose to do with the hurt determines if it hardens into a grudge or if you let it go and move on with your life.”

“5 Dangerous Consequences of Holding a Grudge”. Grover. S. (2023). Psychology Today.

To read the entire article, please click here

Glover points out that many who are unable to let go of slights or grudges have many issues themselves.  In this particular setting, we are not referring to criminal actions against oneself but an individual who psychologically has issues with other people and has a hard time letting anything go.  Within these mindsets, one finds individuals who are arrogant, spiteful, and are unforgiving.  Individuals with these traits make things bigger and more personal than they need to be.  They feel wronged when they are not wronged in many cases and carry out a revengeful plan.  Not only does this person deal with their own inner demons but they also cause physical trauma within themselves by constantly being at war with the world.

Sometimes the one holding the grudge is the issue and not the other person. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Specialist Program

 

It is important whether like an individual with these traits, or an individual who has been wronged to try to let go as best as possible in correlation to the magnitude of the event.  Glover recommends processing the hurt, seeking support as needed and moving on.  If the event was criminal, then of course accessing all possible venues, but if not, letting go.  As for those with more selfish mindsets, it is best to take responsibility for one’s role in the event and learn from mistakes.  This is easier said than done for some selfish individuals but if one wants inner peace, one needs to let go.

While some grudges are benign, some are criminal, and some grudges may be more one’s fault than the other.  Regardless, anger and unprocessed hate cause damage to the body and soul and it is important to find ways to remove this negative energy from one’s body.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Specialist Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.

Additional Resources

“Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness”. Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022). Mayo Clinic.  Access here

“The Mental Health Effects of Holding a Grudge”. Vanbuskirk, S. (2021). VeryWellMind. Access here

“Holding Grudges Only Hurts You — Try These Tips to Let Them Go”. Telloian, C. (2022). Healthline. Access here

“Why We Hold Grudges, and How to Let Them Go”. Coller, N. (2015). Psychology Today.  Access here

Grief and Memory Video

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The way grief memory imprints on the human brain is important because it helps keep the moment vivid and remembered for a long period.  While during acute grieving this poses issues for healing, in the long term, it keeps the precious memories of the loved one intact far stronger.  No-one wishes to lose the memory of a loved one.  In fact, many go to lengthy processes to keep the memory alive.  Keeping a certain object, clothing, or journaling are all ways individuals try to keep the memory strong.  Fortunately the brain keeps it strong as well.

The way sad events are filed in the brain allow the memory to imprint better. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The Hippocampus and the Amygdala play a key role in keeping the emotion imprinted.  The Amygdala processes emotion to the Hippocampus sometimes in intense ways that even bypass longer cognitive thought in a more direct route.  The Hippocampus imprints these types of emotional images and for long term.  The Cortex also imprints these images.  Unfortunately, sometimes trauma and intense grief can cause PTSD where these images are fragmented and never properly processed.  These are not the types of long term grief memories we want.

The video below discusses how grief and memory interact with other.  Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.

What is Postpartum Depression?

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

While having a child is supposed to be the most exciting and wonderful thing in life, sometimes after the birth of a child,  the mother, or even the father, can experience sadness and even depression.  This is not due to actual loss but a chemical imbalance within the neurotransmitters that is offset.  In mothers, it can be due to a variety of hormonal issues, while in fathers, it can be due to past depression history.   “Baby Blues”, when it does occurs, lasts anywhere from a few days to a two weeks, but if it persists into depression, it is important to seek help from one’s doctor to help properly balance oneself.  This is why it is so important for spouses, family and friends to observe each other during the first few weeks after child birth.  Usually the emphasis is on the infant only but changes in mood for parents are also important things to watch and monitor.  This type of situation is not anything to be ashamed of or a dismissal of the joyous occasion, but merely is mental health and properly taking care of it.

Postpartum Depression can rob one of the joy of having a child. It is important to seek medical help if symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks

 

Many of the symptoms associated with Post Partum Depression mirror any other type of depression but the biggest issue is it prevents proper bonding with one’s child and can make it harder to meet the needs of the new infant.   This happy moment should be an experience of joy, but when depression sinks in, it can be difficult to enjoy these memorial moments or even worst, cause risk to self or the child.  This is why it is so critical to seek help.

The article, “Post Partum Depression” from the Mayo Clinic takes a closer look at issues surrounding sadness, depression or even psychosis after child birth.  The article states,

“The birth of a baby can start a variety of powerful emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also result in something you might not expect — depression.  Most new moms experience postpartum “baby blues” after childbirth, which commonly include mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Baby blues usually begin within the first 2 to 3 days after delivery and may last for up to two weeks.  But some new moms experience a more severe, long-lasting form of depression known as postpartum depression”.

“Post Partem Depression”. Mayo Clinic. (2022).  Mayo Clinic

To read the entire article, please click here

Commentary

Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience, but it can also bring about unexpected challenges. One such challenge is postpartum depression, a condition that affects many women after giving birth. Understanding postpartum depression is the first step towards finding effective strategies to deal with it. Postpartum depression is not simply a case of “baby blues” or feeling a bit down; it is a serious mental health condition that requires attention and support.

Postpartum depression can manifest in different ways, but some common signs and symptoms include persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, and irritability. Women experiencing postpartum depression may also struggle with sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, and a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and seek help if they persist for more than a couple of weeks. Postpartum depression can have a profound impact on a mother’s overall well-being, as well as on her relationships and family dynamics.

The impact of postpartum depression on mothers and families

Postpartum depression not only affects the mother, but it can also have a significant impact on her relationships and family. The emotional and physical toll of postpartum depression can strain the bond between the mother and her partner, leading to feelings of isolation and resentment. In some cases, postpartum depression can even affect the mother’s ability to bond with her newborn baby, potentially impacting the child’s development.

Post Partum Depression can cause major strains on families after child birth and also play a role in not providing the infant with the care he/she needs

 

Furthermore, postpartum depression can disrupt the entire household dynamic. Partners may need to take on additional responsibilities, and other family members may need to step in to provide support. This can create stress and tension within the family, further exacerbating the challenges faced by the mother. Recognizing the impact of postpartum depression on mothers and families is crucial in order to provide the necessary support and understanding during this difficult time.

Effective strategies for dealing with postpartum depression

Dealing with postpartum depression requires a multi-faceted approach that addresses both the physical and emotional aspects of the condition. While it is important to seek professional help, there are also effective strategies that can be implemented on a daily basis to manage symptoms and promote recovery.

One such strategy is self-care. Taking care of oneself is often overlooked when dealing with postpartum depression, but it is essential for the mother’s well-being. This can include engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation, prioritizing sleep and nutrition, and finding ways to manage stress. Self-care is not selfish; it is a necessary step towards healing and recovery.

Building a support system is another crucial aspect of dealing with postpartum depression. Surrounding oneself with understanding and supportive individuals can make a world of difference. This can include reaching out to family and friends, joining support groups specifically for postpartum depression, or connecting with other mothers who have gone through similar experiences. Having a support system in place provides a sense of validation and helps combat feelings of isolation.

Seeking professional help for postpartum depression

While self-care and support systems are important, it is essential to seek professional help when dealing with postpartum depression. Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors specializing in postpartum depression, can provide the necessary guidance and support. They can help identify underlying causes, develop coping mechanisms, and provide effective treatment options.

Antidepressant medication may also be prescribed in some cases, especially if the symptoms of postpartum depression are severe. It is important to consult with a healthcare provider to determine the best course of action. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness; it is a proactive step towards recovery and empowerment.

Support groups and resources for postpartum depression

Support groups can be a valuable resource for women dealing with postpartum depression. These groups provide a safe and understanding space where mothers can share their experiences, receive support, and learn from others who have faced similar challenges. Support groups can be found both online and in-person, offering flexibility and accessibility.

There are also numerous resources available for women experiencing postpartum depression. Websites, books, and podcasts dedicated to postpartum depression provide valuable information and strategies for coping. Additionally, many organizations offer helplines and online chat services where women can seek guidance and support in real-time. Utilizing these resources can help women feel empowered and less alone in their journey towards recovery.

Self-care tips for managing postpartum depression

Self-care is an essential component of managing postpartum depression. Here are some practical self-care tips that can be incorporated into daily routines:

  1. Prioritize sleep: Aim for quality sleep by establishing a regular sleep schedule and creating a relaxing bedtime routine.
  2. Nourish your body: Focus on eating a balanced diet that includes nutrient-rich foods to support overall well-being.
  3. Engage in gentle exercise: Physical activity, such as yoga or walking, can help boost mood and reduce stress.
  4. Practice mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to promote relaxation and reduce anxiety.
  5. Delegate and ask for help: Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance from loved ones or hire help with household tasks to alleviate some of the pressure.
  6. Engage in activities you enjoy: Make time for hobbies or activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading, painting, or listening to music.

Remember, self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for your well-being. By prioritizing self-care, you are better equipped to navigate the challenges of postpartum depression.

Building a support system for postpartum depression

Building a support system is crucial for women dealing with postpartum depression. Here are some strategies for creating a strong support network:

  1. Communicate with your partner: Openly discuss your feelings with your partner and seek their understanding and support.
  2. Reach out to family and friends: Share your experiences with trusted loved ones who can provide emotional support and practical assistance.
  3. Join support groups: Connect with other women experiencing postpartum depression through local support groups or online communities.
  4. Seek professional help: Consult with mental health professionals who specialize in postpartum depression for guidance and support.
  5. Consider therapy for couples: Couples therapy can help improve communication and strengthen the relationship during this challenging time.

Remember, you don’t have to face postpartum depression alone. Building a support system can provide the encouragement and understanding you need to navigate this difficult period.

Creating a postpartum depression action plan

Creating an action plan can help you navigate the challenges of postpartum depression proactively. Here are some steps to consider when developing your plan:

  1. Educate yourself: Learn about postpartum depression, its symptoms, and available resources.
  2. Set realistic goals: Break down your recovery journey into manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
  3. Identify triggers: Recognize the situations or circumstances that worsen your symptoms, and develop strategies to manage them.
  4. Establish a routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and stability during this unpredictable time.
  5. Practice self-care: Incorporate self-care activities into your daily routine to prioritize your well-being.
  6. Seek professional help: Consult with mental health professionals to develop a personalized treatment plan.

By creating an action plan, you are taking an active role in managing your postpartum depression and empowering yourself towards recovery.

Conclusion

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals

 

Dealing with postpartum depression can be challenging, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. By understanding postpartum depression, recognizing its impact, and implementing effective strategies, you can navigate this difficult period and empower yourself towards recovery. Whether it’s through self-care, seeking professional help, or building a support system, each step you take brings you closer to healing and embracing the joys of motherhood. Remember to be kind to yourself and reach out for the support you deserve.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.  Licensed professionals in counseling are excellent candidates to earn a Grief Counseling Certification.

Additional Resources

“Postpartum Depression”. HealthEssentials. (2022). Cleveland Clinic.  Access here

“Everything You Need to Know About Postpartum Depression: Symptoms, Treatments, and finding help”. Pietrangelo, A. (2022). Healthline.  Access here

“Postpartum Depression”. OASH. (2023). Office on Women’s Health.  Access here

“Postpartum Depression”. Bruce, D. (2022). WebMD. Access here

 

The Evolution of Grief Overtime

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief and loss are not simply one moment in time but a continual wave and ripple throughout one’s life.   A person’s loss creates an unfillable void.  This is expected because the love is unique and special.  It can never be replaced but overtime, the acute grief becomes less sharp but still nonetheless, very present in the shadows.  As time proceeds, grief does not leave but it evolves.  Although one may adjust to the loss in a healthy fashion, the pain and loss can re-emerge in moments, or re-appear at certain places or times.  Grief overtime is a constant pressure that reminds one of the loss but at different intensities and in different types of emotions throughout the years.   The long trek of not having someone is a life long trek and one that everyone eventually experiences.

Grief does not end but it does evolve. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The article, “Grief Years Later: 4 Challenges” from Eleanor Haley of “What’s Your Grief” presents an excellent outline of experiences and feelings individuals feel throughout the years following a loss.  She discusses issues of lost validation of the loss, secondary losses that emerge, memories becoming less vivid and more abstract, and loss connections over time.  She states,

“It’s not for me to predict how anyone will feel about their loss years down the line. Hundreds of different factors can influence the roads people take, the perspectives they find, and the things they make peace with. What I can say about grief years later is that many people continue to revisit and grapple with their loss experiences in an ongoing way. I don’t say any of this to scare you. I simply want anyone feeling surprised, frustrated, or dysfunctional because they’re still tripping over their losses to know they’re capital ‘N’ normal.”

“Grief Years Later: 4 Challenges”. Haley, E. (2023). “What’s Your Grief”‘

To read the entire article, please click here

Commentary

Haley brings up many good points which we will look at in more detail in this blog.

First, as Haley references in her article, the first year of grief and even the second are perhaps the most difficult.  The acute sharp pain of the loss stabs the heart.  The new and unwanted existence of living without a person is difficult to navigate.  And within the year and next year, constant holidays and reminders haunt and tear the emotional scab open again and again.  However, as time goes one, grief becomes less acute.  While it can come and go in waves still, overall, unless complications, the grief is less intense overall.  The pain becomes more numb and can only be aroused if one focuses on the loss.

Other emotions also exist as grief evolves though.  Instead of just pain and regret, there can be joy and happiness.  A joy in pleasant memories that can bring a smile to a person.  Happiness knowing the person is in a better place or no longer hurting.  Or even a gratitude for being able to share the time one had with each other.  Other positive emotions emerge.  The yearning for reconnection remains but positive emotions also exist side by side.  For those of religious backgrounds, a hope also returns of a reunion in the next life.

Overtime, memories become more abstract. Many fear losing memories of loved ones

 

Haley references the fading of vivid memories and the emergence of more abstract memories.  While some memories may be vivid, as time proceeds, certain scents,  features, and traits may seem more distant.  The fear of losing memories is one of the biggest fears of the grieving.  This is why so many things are kept.  Items, some clothing and other articles are sometimes kept to maintain a healthy connection.  This is why it is so important to collect pictures, journal and write down emotions surrounding the loss.  As time goes forward, one can then return to those notes or pictures and again remember the past.  In addition, dreams play a key role in remembering.  While traumatic incidents will constantly haunt one in a unhealthy way, others sometimes find pleasance in the dream of a loved one.  Some may even believe this is a visit from the afterlife.  As time proceeds, many find such dreams to be peaceful, while others who suffer from more serious trauma surrounding the death may find it to be more of a nightmare.

Haley mentions secondary losses as a changing reality as grief proceeds through time.   If a widow, one may find less income as the years go by.  As a widower, one may not go to certain festivals or movies anymore without one’s wife.   As an adult child, one may no longer go to the old family home.  Others may find difficulties with certain tasks that were provided by the other spouse.  No longer is there someone to wash the clothes or cook or mow the yard.  These instances are cold reminders of the original loss but also the lingering pains associated with the loss itself.  In addition, Haley states that many lose past connections.  Individuals that once were common in one’s life over time are less seen since the deceased died.  Maybe certain friends no longer visit as time goes on and individuals within a family become more distant since the patriarch or matriarch of the family has passed.  Holiday traditions may pass with the passing of time as well.  These are all markings of grief overtime itself.  If one loses a child, maybe the individual overtime feels he/she is no longer a parent?  Not being able to experience graduations, weddings, and becoming a grand parent can become haunting reminders over the time of what was lost.

Finally, and maybe most importantly, Haley illustrates that many individuals are no longer validated in their loss.  The initial checkups, flowers, sympathy cards, and calls become less and less.  While the loss still hurts, other individuals have moved on in life.  Others may grow tired of discussing the loss and may avoid.  Others may no longer know how to talk about the loss and feel to remain quiet.  Still others may become irritated and push one to “get over it”.  These are all issues that the grieving face as grief ages over time.

Conclusion

A loss is not a singular moment in history but a wave of titanic proportions that affect one’s life forever.  While this may seem terrifying, it is true but also good.  It is good because it means someone was loved and meant that much to you and they cannot be replaced.  Overtime grief changes for good and bad but one must continue to adjust and adapt to the loss as grief ages overtime.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals

 

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

Additional Resources

“How Grief Changes Over Time”. Dembling, S. (2023). Psychology Today.  Access here

“Can You Grieve a Death Almost 30 Years Later?”. Sandler, E. (2017).  Psychology Today.  Access here

“Grief 10 Years Later”. Granek, L. (2015). Huffington Post.  Access here

“DOES GRIEF GET MORE CHALLENGING AS TIME GOES ON?”. Gemima, C. (2022). GriefHeal.org. Access here

Anger Management and Good Parenting

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

No guide book comes with parenting.  One learns from experience and trial and error.  First time parents may pick up a few cues for future children but even then different personalities pose different challenges.  One important aspect of parenting is controlling rage and anger.  Many bad habits can generationally slide to one household to the next and it is important if a victim of abuse or rage to stop the trend and create a home with peace and serenity.

Parents need to understand that children learn through example.  If they see bad or good behavior, they will mimic this behavior.  Anger and a quick temper is a learned behavior overall, so good example is critical.  This does not mean certain temperaments exist within different children, but nurture does have a strong impact when handing down better habits in life.  So parents need to show children than anger and violence is not the answer.

Parenting involves controlling anger in front of children too. Please review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program

 

This starts with how parents treat each other and the child through discipline but also day to day to activities, whether driving or even working on something.  How one reacts plays big roles on how one’s children will react to similar situations.   Parents who try their best to control anger, show empathy, apologize when wrong, and discipline with control have a greater chance of gifting the world with caring and empathetic children who will not turn to violence or rage when confronted with issues.

The article, “When You Are an Angry Parent, Mind Your Temper” by Teronie Donaldson looks closer at how parents can play a positive impact in regards to anger management and controlling one’s temper when raising children.  The article states,

“Anger is a powerful emotion, and as parents, it’s essential to manage it effectively.  How we handle our anger impacts our well-being and sets an example for our children.  I remember hearing someone say that kids spend the rest of their lives getting over the first five years. That stuck with me because you must be very careful of what you say to kids in their formative years, or they will become adults with problems. I still remember some hurtful insults my mother said to me when I was a kid. I love her to pieces, but her wrath was vicious when she was mad.”

“When You Are an Angry Parent, Mind Your Temper”. Donaldson, T. (2023). The Good Men Project

To read the entire article, please click her

 

Commentary

As parents, it is essential to recognize and understand the emotion of anger. Anger is a natural human response that can arise due to various factors such as stress, fatigue, or frustration. It is important to remember that experiencing anger as a parent does not make you a bad parent. However, how you manage and express your anger can significantly impact your child’s emotional well-being.

The Impact of Anger on Children

It is crucial to be aware of the effect that anger can have on children. When parents express their anger in an unhealthy or uncontrolled manner, it can lead to detrimental consequences for their children. Children may experience fear, anxiety, and a sense of instability when exposed to frequent outbursts of anger. It can also affect their self-esteem, as they may internalize their parents’ anger and blame themselves for causing it. Moreover, children who witness anger regularly may also develop behavioral issues and difficulties in managing their own emotions.

Why It’s Important to Manage Anger as a Parent

How parents manage stress and anger when around children is key to promoting better examples in life

 

Managing anger as a parent is essential for maintaining a harmonious home environment. When parents effectively manage their anger, they create a safe and nurturing space for their children to grow and thrive. By modeling healthy anger management techniques, parents teach their children valuable life skills, such as emotional regulation and conflict resolution. Additionally, managing anger helps parents build stronger and more positive relationships with their children, fostering open communication and understanding.

Identifying Triggers and Warning Signs of Anger

To effectively manage anger, it is essential to identify its triggers and warning signs. Triggers can be specific situations, behaviors, or thoughts that provoke anger. By recognizing these triggers, parents can be proactive in managing their emotional responses. Additionally, being aware of the warning signs, such as increased heart rate, tense muscles, or negative thoughts, allows parents to intervene before their anger escalates. Taking note of these triggers and warning signs is the first step in gaining control over anger as a parent.

Effective Strategies for Managing Anger in the Moment

When anger arises in the heat of the moment, it is crucial to have effective strategies in place to manage it constructively. One approach is to practice deep breathing exercises, which help regulate the body’s physiological response to anger. Taking slow, deep breaths can calm the nervous system and reduce feelings of anger. Another strategy is to take a brief timeout, stepping away from the situation to cool down and gain perspective. Engaging in physical activities, such as going for a walk or doing a quick workout, can also help release pent-up anger. Additionally, expressing anger assertively, rather than aggressively, can lead to more productive conversations and problem-solving.

Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Long-Term Anger Management

While managing anger in the moment is important, developing healthy coping mechanisms for long-term anger management is equally crucial. Engaging in regular exercise, practicing mindfulness meditation, and seeking therapy or counseling are effective ways to address underlying issues that contribute to anger. Additionally, engaging in hobbies or activities that bring joy and relaxation can serve as healthy outlets for stress and frustration. By implementing these long-term coping mechanisms, parents can build resilience and prevent anger from becoming a recurring issue in their lives.

Communicating Effectively with Your Child During Moments of Anger

During moments of anger, it is vital to communicate effectively with your child to maintain a healthy relationship. Instead of resorting to yelling or harsh words, strive to express your feelings assertively and calmly. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming or criticizing your child. Active listening is equally important; give your child the opportunity to express their emotions and concerns without interruption. By fostering open and respectful communication, parents can strengthen their bond with their child and resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Seeking Support and Resources for Anger Management as a Parent

Recognizing the need for support in managing anger is a sign of strength. Parents should not hesitate to seek professional help or join support groups specifically designed for anger management. Therapists or counselors can provide valuable guidance and techniques to help parents effectively manage their anger. Online resources, books, and workshops focused on anger management can also offer valuable insights and strategies. Remember, seeking support is not a sign of weakness but rather a proactive step toward creating a harmonious home environment.

Teaching Your Child to Manage Their Own Emotions

In addition to managing their own anger, parents play a vital role in teaching their children how to manage their emotions. Encourage your child to express their feelings in a healthy and constructive manner. Teach them techniques such as deep breathing, journaling, or engaging in creative activities to manage their anger. Additionally, help them identify their own triggers and warning signs, and guide them in finding appropriate coping mechanisms. By empowering children with these skills, parents equip them with the tools to navigate and regulate their emotions throughout their lives.

Conclusion: Creating a Harmonious Home Through Effective Anger Management

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goal

 

Mastering the art of managing anger as a parent is a journey that requires self-reflection, awareness, and consistent effort. By understanding anger, recognizing its impact on children, and actively seeking strategies for anger management, parents can create a harmonious home environment. Through effective communication, seeking support, and teaching children to manage their emotions, parents can foster emotional well-being and resilience in their children. Remember, managing anger is not about suppressing or eliminating the emotion entirely, but rather finding healthy ways to express and regulate it.

Also recall, one small word can harm a child mentally and emotionally.  The purpose of discipline itself is to correct not harm.

Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program. The program is designed to train professionals to better help individuals deal with anger in a healthy way.  AIHCP’s program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.

 

Additional Resources

“How To Manage Anger When You’re a Parent”. Crider, K. (2022). Healthline. Access here

“What to know about anger management for parents”. Sissons, B. (2022). Medical News Today. Access here

“PARENTS ANGER: TURNING DOWN THE HEAT IN YOUR HOME”. The Center for Parenting Education.  Access here

“Ready to Snap? Tips for Stressed-Out Parents” (2021). Health Essentials.  Cleveland Clinic.  Access here

Mental Health Priority Video

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Mental Health takes a second seat to physical health because it unseen and also sometimes seen a weakness.  Connect social stigma and labeling of “crazy” to mental health and you have a situation where many neglect their mental health all together.  It is important to be aware of mental health, the types of disorders, and how they affect everyday life.  It is also important to enlighten the population that many normal people suffer from a myriad of minor disorders that can be easily treated.  When mental health is not treated, then issues related to anything health wise can become worst.  This country is dealing with a major mental health crisis and it is very important to bring light to it and focus on encouraging people to treat their mental health like their physical health.

Mental health is as important as physical health. Please review AIHCP’s mental health certifications

 

Please also review AIHCP’s numerous mental health certifications such as Grief Counseling, Anger Management, Stress Management, Spiritual Counseling, Crisis Intervention and Meditation.  The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals.  Not all professionals in mental health are licensed and numerous minor issues do not require clinical care, but these certifications also serve licensed care givers who wish to enhance their resume as well.  Please review AIHCP’s numerous mental health certifications and see if they meet your academic and professional goals.

Please review the video below as well

Anointing of the Sick and a Peaceful Christian Death

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Death entered into the world as a result of sin but through Christ, new life and a new beginning is granted.  While fearing death is natural, the Christian can see death as a transition not a final chapter.  It is a doorway to new life and the fullest life possible.  It is not in the temporal world, where humanity’s nature is complete and unbroken, but only in the next life.  In the next life, the soul is reunified with God and through the promised General Resurrection, the guarantee of unification of again and body and soul.  Hence death is not an end but a phase of existence that is only temporary and an opening into a world so much larger.  It thus extremely important to ensure that transition to the next life is a priority.  This is the case for all world religions, but also the same for Christianity.  With Heaven or Hell for eternity in the balance, ensuring a proper and good death with God is essential and vital.

Anointing of the Sick is a sacrament in Catholic and Orthodox faiths and a sacred ritual in other Christian denominations for the spiritual renewal of the dying person

 

Christianity has since its conception emphasized the importance of preparing for death.  The Anointing of the Sick has its origins in Scripture. The Apostle James comments, “is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the Church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven (James 5:14-15).

Different Christian traditions all believe in the value of anointing in the sick and terminally ill, but others classify it differently.  In Catholicism and Orthodoxy it is a sacrament.  The Anglican Church considers it to have sacramental character and in most Lutheran and other Protestant denominations, see it as a critical ritual of the faith.   As a sacrament, The Anointing of the Sick, and in the past, Extreme Unction, is an outward sign used to manifest and give grace to the soul.  As a sacrament, it gives grace through the source of Christ’s death on the cross that flows through the Holy Spirit to the soul.   It can be received multiple times depending on the grave danger of the person’s condition.   Hence, it can be received in multiple terminal or possible death situations, whether in the hospital or home.  In the Orthodox, it can also be utilized in communal services.  In the West, under extraordinary circumstances, such as before war, soldiers and certain qualifying groups may receive it.

The matter, or visible sign, is the blessed holy oil.  This oil in the West is blessed by diocesan bishop on Holy Thursday.  In the East, this oil can be received throughout the year at the end of Liturgy on certain feast days but in itself is not the sacrament but used for overall physical and spiritual healing and continued good health.  The form of the sacrament constitutes the various prayers and words offered by the priest or minister during the administration of the sacrament.

Holy Oil is used to anoint the sick. It is the visible sign of healing and presence of the grace of God preparing the soul for the next life

 

Last Rites is sometimes confused with Anointing of the Sick.  It is important to note in Catholicism and Orthodoxy, Last Rites entails three sacraments.  Anointing, confession and reception of the Eucharist.

The effects of the sacrament and ritual has multiple sacramental and grace infused benefits to the soul.  It forgives sin but also prepares the soul to peacefully accept death and prepare it for reunion with God.  Physically it can heal but healing and miracles are alone determined by the will of God.  There are miraculous cases but these are extraordinary examples and not the norm.  Death is natural and the healing is more so focused on the spiritual than physical.  Although from a physical and psychological standpoint, the ritual can bring mental peace and a presence of God within the mind of the person.  It is comforting to know that Christ is present with one in one’s suffering and death.

Throughout the study of suffering and Christian grief, the Christian does not seek to escape death, deny it, or even escape suffering, but is called to carry one’s cross and unify it with Christ as one’s High Priest.  Christ is the ultimate example of the Suffering Servant and His example of accepting death and suffering should inspire other Christians to do the same.  While always praying for a cure or miracle, the Christian should also be accepting of God’s will.  One should primarily seek spiritual healing and God’s presence in one’s final moments.

During the reception of Anointing, one may be unconscious or awake, but it is critical to voice the need prior of the desire to receive it.  Family or nurses should be made aware of one’s desire to see a minister or priest.  This can be laid out in healthcare directives and becomes critically important if one becomes unconscious and unable to ask for spiritual aid in person.  Also, it is important prior to risky surgery or potential unconsciousness due to drug induced states to request Anointing of the Sick.  Most in everyday procedures that are not risky may simply say a short prayer of contrition and adoration before simple anesthesia but with far more risky procedure one should never leave one’s soul open to possible spiritual risk and danger.

Through Anointing of the sick, Christ comes to us in our dying moments. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Grief Counseling Program

 

In conclusion, spiritual preparation before death is critical.  If it happens like a thief in the night, one may receive the sacrament post mortem but one should always pray both morning and night proclaiming love of God and sorrow for sins.  One of the most beautiful things one can pray for is a peaceful death where one is able to receive the sacred mysteries in advance.  This is a blessing that many sometimes never think of due to the fear of thinking about death itself.  However, a peaceful Christian death with grace and the image of God is the greatest gift that may be given in this world.

Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification as well as its Christian Grief Counseling Program.  Both programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.

Additional Resources

“WHAT IS ANOINTING OF THE SICK? WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?”. Archdiocese of St Paul and Minneapolis. (2006). Access here

“The Anointing of the Sick – Catechism of the Catholic Church”. Catechism of the Catholic Church. CNA. Access here

“Is Anointing Oil Biblical and Should We Use It Today?”. Riggleman, H. (2021). Crosswalk. Access here

“40 Bible Verses about Anointing With Oil”. Knowing Jesus.  Access here