Eating disorders stem from within. The person has a low self image or utilizes eating as a coping mechanism to deal with loss, stress or trauma. Some starve themselves, while others over-eat to escape the pain. Individuals with low self image of themselves have a inaccurate view and are obsessed due to low self esteem to starve oneself and an attempt to find a never attainable weight. While those who face pain and loss, may cope by binge eating. Both extremes are unhealthy and can lead to multiple health issues.
Counseling and proper coping are key to remove poor self image and poor coping strategies. Grief Counseling and therapy from a licensed counselor can help. Licensed counselors who are also certified in Grief Counseling can also help. Please review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
Suicide is vital in any counseling whether clinical or pastoral. Pastoral counselors should refer patients or members of the community to a professional counselor if he or she feels the person is experiencing depression and suicidal ideation. In most cases, suicide assessment will consider a person to be low risk or high risk. As opposed to low risk, high risk individuals have a far worst depression and a more lethal plan.
Suicide assessment is key in assigning low or high risk individuals. Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention program
When anyone feels depressed, especially over time, it can become overwhelming. This is why when helping depressed and grieving individuals to probe and ask questions about suicide. It is critical to ask if one wishes to hurt or harm oneself when interviewing the patient. It is important to see if those types of thoughts or ideas are entering the person’s mind. If someone who is experiencing depression states they feel hopeless, then this is definitely a warning sign. Not all hopeless individuals commit suicide, but anyone who has ever attempted or committed suicide definitely felt hopeless.
If the seriousness of an assessment manifests, then one needs to determine if one is low risk or high risk. Many individuals in pain or depressed may think occasionally of killing oneself, but do not have the intention, desire or capability to do so, but as thoughts of suicidal ideation become more frequent and loud, then an assessment is definitely needed. Hence after assessing symptoms of depression and the thought or at least implicit idea of suicide within the patient’s mind, it is important to access whether this person is low or high risk. High risk individuals will require more intense observation and measures, while low risk will require less intense intervention.
If one makes comments about harming oneself, the next question is to determine lethality of the plan. Is the plan doable? Are the means, times and places for the event possible? If someone dictates one would like to shoot oneself, then access if this person has access to firearms. A person who points out that he owns a gun that is at home and currently loaded in his closet poses a severely high risk. Hence the more detailed the plan the higher the risk level. If a person has access to the weapon named in the thought and a time planned, then immediate intervention is required. Police should be called or the person should be submitted to a psych ward for observation. If the person on the other hand does not have access or ability to commit immediately, one should be immediately referenced to professional counseling for depression.
Someone who is high risk has more detailed plans, numerous thoughts, deeper depression, more drinking and drug issues, and access to carry out the plans. High risk individuals are also individuals who have survived past attempts. So it is important to ask these questions as well, but also including family history of suicide. Unfortunately, many individuals due to mental health stigmas, keep their sadness and depression to themselves. No-one is aware of the high risk involved with the loved one or friend. Many times, friends and family miss the subtle comments about life and death or the anxiety and depression someone is enduring. Awareness, questions and listening are key in helping depressed individuals find the help they need. Assessments can later be employed to determine the risk level.
When one is in crisis, it is important to ask questions about self harm or hurting oneself and see if anyone is frequently thinking of it or planning it
If anyone manifests any level of suicidal ideation, it is important to convince the person to make a no-suicide contract in which the individual promises to call someone if the person feels low, hopeless, or ideation of killing oneself manifests. This last outlet may be the helping hand one needs not to take it to the next step. In this type of contact, the person promises to call a loved one or yourself if ideation manifests. Sometimes this last call for help is the difference between life and death. It is also important to discuss the frequency of alcohol and drug use during this period of time and how it can play a role in poor decisions.
Individuals kill themselves not because they want to die but because they do not feel life is worth living. Many of them are not in the proper state of mind due to depression, trauma or extreme pain. These individuals need counseling and help so they do not fall victim to suicide itself. With so many stigmas surrounding suicide, it is important to remember that someone who commits it or attempts is dealing with temporary mental illness. One should not blame but try to help. It is not a true sin in the classical sense that once was attributed to it but a true mental state of imbalance.
Pastoral caregivers can play a key role in helping members of the congregation work through suicidal thoughts. They can be the first line of defense for those who have noone to talk to or discuss their feelings with. They can mentor, guide and help individuals find hope when they are depressed. Christian Counselors, pastoral counselors and those in ministry should all have crisis intervention training and suicide prevention training. This will enable them to better help individuals suffering from these types of thoughts.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling, Christian Counseling and Crisis Intervention Counseling Programs. The programs all to some extent touch on suicide. The Grief program discussing the role of depression and loss in suicide. The Christian Counseling Program discusses the pastoral implications from a Christian perspective and the Crisis Intervention Program discusses suicide prevention, assessment and helping individuals who are in a state of acute crisis. All the programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals who work in the counseling and ministry fields. Please review and see if the program meets your academic and professional goals.
Again, if in any type of counseling, whether professional or pastoral, be sure to have a complete understanding and working suicide assessment list. Also, if anyone is feeling worthless or hopeless, please call the National Suicide Hotline and seek help. Simply dial 988. Hurting oneself is never the answer.
One of the hottest topics today is policing the police and training them better to respond to crisis situations and better de-escalate and utilize less lethal force. This is a difficult situation no doubt. Police face tough situations and last second decision making under intense stress is a norm of their day. Police obviously deserve the utmost respect for the jobs they do in enforcement of law and protection but the fact remains their exists a strong divide among minority populations, and the overall population in general, with the men and women in blue.
De-escalation and crisis intervention skills are needed in policing. It protects the public and also the officer. Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Certification
This distrust has led to numerous confrontations with police auditors who push the limits with what an officer can ask and do. It also has led to confrontations in protests, defund the police marches, and the minority populations who sometimes are racially profiled. The old friendly “Andy of Mayberry” days seem to be a distant memory, or even a fairy tale, where officers policed the neighborhood and were seen as good guys. Instead, apprehension, anger and mistrust exist with every pull over or officer call. Much of this has to do with a few bad cops, who abuse their authority. The George Floyd case comes to mind, when officers brutally murdered a man in plain sight without any compassion or concern for the man’s breathing.
Like bad clergy or priests, bad cops are a minority, but they gain the spot light and also show a shade of blue society does not want policing them. This has only amplified the intense scrutiny on officers in regards to attitude, procedure and response to mental illness. Some cops although not corrupt are not fit to serve the population due to anger issues, procedural errors, or inability to respond properly during high stress. Many officers, especially ex soldiers, act as if they are in a state of war and throw orders and demands as if in the military to the civilians. These are not acceptable standards and are definitely issues when dealing with individuals who have mental illness. Quick to submit, dominate, or in worst cases, shoot have become too common.
Being a police officer is not easy. It not only demands the skills and mind to police, but it also takes a special person without authority issues, anger problems, or inability to act cool under pressure. The standards are high and many police perform at this standard, but it takes only one time, one bad day. This is why it is so hard for the good cops who try. At any moment, they may find themselves in internal affairs investigation, or subject to lawsuit, or find themselves arrested for excessive force. Hence it is equally important to the police officers, as well as the public to have better crisis response and de-escalation plans in effect.
The article, “Crisis Intervention Attempts Involving Policing In The United States” by Lisa Landram takes a closer look at how police departments are implementing better crisis training and policing procedures for their officers. Landram states,
“But many municipalities in the U.S. are also grappling with intervention attempts involving policing. Crisis response teams vary in their approaches to addressing mental health throughout the United States. A national survey by the National Police Foundation called “How Small Law Enforcement Agencies Respond to Calls Involving Person in Crisis” found that there were different approaches that agencies take to develop a more effective response to calls involving persons in behavioral health crisis. The findings from the survey are based on responses from a random sample of 380 municipal police and sheriff offices with between 10 and 75 sworn officers between February and October 2020.”
“Crisis Intervention Attempts Involving Policing In The United States”. Landram, L. (2023). Daily News-Record
Landram illustrates various ways local departments are answering the call to better train their officers and also implement better crisis response. Of the key elements, she notes that training involves recognition of basic mental illness is being implemented. The training involves not only the types but what to expect if encountering someone with mental illness or under substance abuse.
An additional training also includes teaching officers the basics in crisis intervention, communication and especially de-escalation. De-escalating at its core though means officers must become more “thick skinned” in regards to responses of individuals to orders, as well as ignoring insults or slurs. While it is horrible officers are verbally accosted, the job demands a high standard that some cannot meet, and for those, who cannot, then policing may not be one’s career, especially considering officers carry lethal force.
Police offers can learn a variety of crisis intervention skills and departments can partner with mental health facilities to deliver safer response to mentally ill calls
Another key element listed was the importance of a closer correlation with mental health professionals with the department. This partnership would involve officers having more support from mental health professionals via call, or in person on mental health calls. This also involves 911 and dispatch officers offering better details regarding a mental health call issue and warning the officers on scene that someone is not mentally well.
Finally, the department needs better cooperation for facilities that deal with substance abuse and mental health during a potential arrest. Jail is not the answer for these individuals and can in some cases traumatize them more.
Public Response to Officers
Most officers are good. Not all situations involve racial profiling, harassments, or cops with attitudes. Tickets may be annoying, but ultimately officers are performing a civic duty. While as US citizens we have certain rights, sometimes working with an officer is the best thing. Simple courtesy goes a long way. While police should not seek illicit information during an investigation or pull over that is not legal, they sometimes do and knowing your rights and what needs to be handed over or not is key. One always has the right to remain silent, but it is important to know one’s state laws requiring identification or pull over procedure.
Again, sometimes, working together and being compliant and respectful goes a long way. Realize officers live a high stress life and as human beings can reach a point where too much attitude or abuse pushes them over the limit. So, in essence, know your rights, but also understand the situation and what they are going through. Mutually working together can reduce stress, tension and anxiety.
Police Stressors
As stated, police are subject to horrible things they see everyday. They can suffer from PTSD and easily be triggered as well. It is obviously important that the department keeps officers in good mental health. Officers see death, abuse, shootings and live action on a consistent basis. They are in a fight or flight mode consistently. Traffic stops themselves may be their very last without proper care.
In addition to shootings, losing fellow officers, cops deal with a variety of other issues. Consistent verbal abuse, negative press, pressure from municipal authorities, and lack of staffing and funding. In essence it is an extremely stressful job and plays one component in the overall problem of de-escalation and policing. Hence departments must provide stress care in addition to crisis intervention training, to keep the minds and emotional stability of good cops sharp and healthy.
Conclusion
Policing is a sacred trust. A few bad officers can ruin the entire image but other officers need to learn better de-escalation skills. Certain qualities of officers need adjusted that are militaristic and ultra authoritarian. It is not fair, especially when dealing with a rude and ungrateful public, but the job demands more now than ever. Crisis Intervention skills protects not only the public but the officer him/herself.
Good policing involves restraint, de-escalation skills, and communication. Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Program
AIHCP offers a Crisis Intervention Consulting Certification for qualified professionals seeking a four year certification. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification. Police officers are excellent candidates as well for this program. Departments looking for certification programs for their officers can review the program and see if it matches the fit for their officers.
Additional Resources
“Police stressors and health: a state-of-the-art review”. Violanti, J. et. etc. (2019). Policing. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2019 Mar 5. Published in final edited form as: Policing. 2017 Nov; 40(4): 642–656. Access here
“Occupational stress in policing: What the research says and what leaders can do about it”. Segovia, R. (2022). Police1. Access here
“Fighting Stress in the Law Enforcement Community”. Dawson, J. (2019). National Institute of Justice Journal. Access here
“De-Escalation: A Commonsense Approach”. Ranalli, M. (2020). Lexipol. Access here
“If We Want to Reduce Deaths at Hands of Police, We Need to Reduce Traffic Stops”. Johnson, T & Johnson, N. (2023). Time. Access here
“Highly Rated and most Frequent Stressors among Police Officers: Gender Differences”. Violanti, J. et. etc. (2016). Am J Crim Justice. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2017 Dec 1) Published in final edited form as: Am J Crim Justice. 2016 Dec; 41(4): 645–662. Access here
Like many stereotypes and cultural norms, women are expected to behave certain ways. Unlike men, according to these norms, women cannot entertain rage or anger in public. These images are farther from the truth for all human beings experience anger, but women are expected to internalize anger. Quite the opposite with men, who release anger and rage and have created their own stereotype that males are more aggressive. These ideals of human behavior according to the genders are opposite in grief, where women externalize and men internalize. Which emotion that is shown or hidden is applied to gender by society and when one sees conflicting displays, individuals begin to question. The reality again is that all human beings are different and even anger is not always internalized in women, much the same way grief is not supposed to always be internalized by men.
Society dismisses anger in women. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification
The ideas of women and aggression are mostly seen with motherhood or romantic slight. Other than this, cultural norms dictate a more timid and peaceful gender, but this can be damaging to a woman. Like all human beings, expression of any emotion is key and the ability to properly process anger is essential to existence. The article, “HELL HATH NO FURY: AN EXPLORATION OF FEMALE RAGE” by Pema Bakshi looks at gender roles, anger in women, and how women can better express anger in the modern world. She states,
“Rage is a response. My rage has been one that festers. Like a flame that whips itself from smoke to spark to a raging inferno, it clouds my vision and wells in my eyes. It’s the clench in my jaw and the terminal tension in my shoulders. With a taut smile fixed on my mug, though, it’s hardly recognisable – anger in women seldom is. But the thing that fuses rage with fire, is that it can swallow us, or, when mobilised, aid our survival. Data from global research firm Gallup, collated from over 150 countries across a decade, tells us that women are only getting angrier. And as Jennifer Cox, a London-based psychotherapist and founder of Women Are Mad, explains, this anger in women is chronically misunderstood.”
“HELL HATH NO FURY: AN EXPLORATION OF FEMALE RAGE”. Bakshi, P. Grazia
To read read the entire article, please click here
Commentary
It is important to recognize women and their anger. Too many times, women are labeled emotional and hormonal. It is important for women to be able express emotion without labeling. It is important to actual investigate what is occurring and why women are upset.
The societal expectations and stereotypes around anger in women
Society has long perpetuated the stereotype of the “angry woman” as someone who is irrational, hysterical, and out of control. This stereotype not only undermines the validity of women’s anger but also limits their ability to express themselves fully. Women are often discouraged from expressing anger, being labeled as “difficult” or “overreacting” when they do so. This societal bias creates a double standard, where men are allowed to express anger more freely while women are expected to remain calm and composed.
The consequences of repressed anger in women
Repressed anger can have detrimental effects on a woman’s mental and physical well-being. When anger is not expressed or properly managed, it can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression. Additionally, repressed anger can manifest in passive-aggressive behavior or self-destructive habits. It is essential to recognize that anger is a valid emotion and find healthy ways to express and process it.
Empowering women to express and navigate their anger
To empower women to express and navigate their anger, it is crucial to challenge societal expectations and stereotypes. Women need to be encouraged to embrace their anger as a natural and valid emotion. By acknowledging their anger, women can begin to understand the underlying causes and triggers, allowing for healthier expressions and responses.
A woman’s anger should not be dismissed as mental or hormonal. It should be recognized and validated.
Transforming anger into positive action
Anger has the power to be a catalyst for positive change. Instead of suppressing or lashing out in anger, women can channel their energy into productive actions. This could involve advocating for social justice, creating art, or participating in activism. By transforming anger into positive action, women can empower themselves and others, creating lasting change.
Tools and techniques for managing anger in women
Managing anger requires developing effective tools and techniques. Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and physical activities such as yoga or boxing can help release pent-up anger in a healthy way. Journaling and talking to a trusted friend or therapist can provide an outlet for processing and understanding anger. It is important to find what works best for each individual, as everyone’s journey with anger is unique.
The importance of self-care in anger management
Self-care plays a vital role in anger management. Engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation can help reduce stress and prevent anger from escalating. This could include practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-reflection. Taking care of oneself is not selfish; it is a necessary step in managing anger and promoting overall well-being.
Seeking support and professional help for anger issues in women
If anger becomes overwhelming or begins to interfere with daily life, seeking support and professional help is essential. Therapy can provide a safe space for women to explore their anger and develop healthy coping mechanisms. A therapist can also help address any underlying issues or traumas that may contribute to the anger. It is crucial to reach out for help without shame or guilt, as seeking support is a sign of strength and a step towards healing.
Empowering women to advocate for change and address the root causes of their anger
Anger can often be a response to societal injustice, inequality, or personal experiences of oppression. By empowering women to advocate for change, we can address the root causes of their anger. This involves supporting women in using their anger constructively, whether it be through activism, community organizing, or political involvement. By addressing the systemic issues that contribute to women’s anger, we can work towards a more equitable society for all.
Conclusion
Empowering the angry woman is not about encouraging aggression or violence but about recognizing and validating women’s anger. By challenging societal expectations, providing tools for anger management, and advocating for change, we can help women navigate and transform their anger into positive action. Supporting women in expressing their anger and addressing its root causes is a step towards creating a more just and inclusive society for everyone. So let us embrace and empower the angry woman, for her anger has the potential to change the world.
Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.
Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification
Additional Resources
“Why Women Need to Honor Their Anger”. Golden, B. (2018). Psychology Today. Access here
“Anger in women”. Hayden, A. (2023). Women’s Health Network. Access here
“4 Facts About Women’s Anger That’ll Help You Keep It Healthy”. Fraga, J. (2018). Healthline. Access here
“Are women getting angrier?”. (2022). BBC News. Access here
In life we can lose what we possess but also lose ideas of what we thought we would one day possess. If one ever wanted children, or to have a family and this never occurs, then there is a void and sense of loss in adulthood. While it was never possessed, one possessed the concept. One became attached to the concept and when this concept was not actualized or fulfilled, a sense of loss can still overcome a person.
Sometimes sadness is a result of things never had but never gained. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The video below reviews some concepts in this type of abstract grief and how individuals can learn to be better cope with unfulfilled dreams. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Seasonal Depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is considered a major depressive disorder. This particular type of depression exist with the turns of the season, most prominently as Summer turns to Fall and the days become shorter and the weather cooler and more wet. The weather change and lack of light can create within the brain an altered chemistry While negative mindset can play a role, most who experience Seasonal Affective Disorder already have a history with depression. The early darkness, change of biorhythms, aligned with colder weather tend to force individuals inside and quartered with less exercise and social interaction.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) coincides with the change of seasons, usually Fall into Winter. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Coupled with less vitamin D that sustains higher levels or serotonin, individuals can experience SAD. While 20 percent of the population experiences Winter Blues, especially after Christmas, those with SAD experience a true depression. Like all depression, individuals will lose interest in life, isolate, become anxious, feel bad and low about sense of self, lack energy, and have difficulties interacting with others. The Cleveland Clinic in its article, “Seasonal Depression (Seasonal Affective Disorder)” gives a comprehensive review of the disorder, as well as possible treatment options and ways to reduce its severity. The article states,
“If you have symptoms of seasonal affective disorder (SAD), don’t try to diagnose yourself. See your healthcare provider for a thorough evaluation. You may have another reason for your depression. Many times, seasonal affective disorder is part of a more complex mental health condition. Your provider may refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist. These mental health professionals will ask you about your symptoms. They’ll consider your pattern of symptoms and decide if you have seasonal depression or another mood disorder. You may need to fill out a questionnaire to determine if you have SAD.”
Of the 5 percent of the population more prone to SAD, those who have a family history of depression, have a greater chance of experiencing it. Obviously, those who suffer from it also live in temperate areas in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres who experience the four seasons. Interesting enough, some individuals can experience SAD during Summer months as well. To be diagnosed, mental healthcare professionals will ask for a case history and only if one has experienced depression correlated with seasonal change two straight seasons can one possibly be labeled with SAD.
SAD is more than the Winter Blues but is associated with a lack of serotonin causing depression. This is due to less light and new sleeping pattern during the Winter season for those with predisposition to depression
Again SAD is more than merely the Winter Blues, but a true depression in all of its fury. Individuals will suffer the classical physical and mental symptoms associated with depression with the turn of the season. The depression is related to brain chemistry and hence it is important for many to be prescribed an anti-depressant by a mental healthcare professional. The need to balance the serotonin is key in helping most. In addition, supplementing Vitamin D is critical. Many individuals in temperate zones, especially during the Winter, exhibit extremely low levels of vitamin D in the body. This is not merely an issue for those suffering from SAD, but also anyone who lives in areas with less sun over an extended period of time.
For some, cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT can be beneficial. Talking about the situation and understanding how SAD works and how to reframe things can help some individuals better cope. Reframing can look at the positives of the months during Winter and some of the experiences that others do not have, such as the beauty of fresh snow upon the trees, or Winter sports, or particular festivals pertaining to the season. One can create a cozy Winter atmosphere that brings joy to oneself inside. Whether its a fire, or comfortable slippers, the little things can make oneself feel better. In addition, individuals should attempt to do special things during the darker months. At least once a week, one should attempt to plan something to look forward to despite the bad weather. Most importantly, exercise is critical to good health but also mental health. The movement of the body, the heart rate, and physical motions can help neurotransmitters better operate in the brain. Many individuals “hibernate” the Winter away and eat poorly and sleep too much. It is so important to step outside, walk, or go to the gym during Winter. It is essential for both physical and mental health.
It is important to get out, exercise and be active during the Winter months
An extreme treatment for those with severe SAD can turn to light therapy. White light at a higher level than regular lighting in the house can be set up throughout the house. The treatment encourages more vitamin D and also more serotonin in the body. While the therapy can be successful, it can also carry risks causing potential eye damage if not properly utilized, as well as headaches or migraines for some. Moderate and safe use of it is an important rule to follow with light therapy.
Conclusion
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling. It is important to note that while many grief counselors are also licensed counselors, only licensed counselors can discuss and treat Seasonal Depression. Pastoral and non-licensed counselors can discuss it with a client but must refer those who exhibit signs of it to a licensed professional who can treat the pathological condition.
While SAD only affects 5 percent of the population, it is important to find treatment if you are one of those 5 percent.
For those who do suffer from SAD, it is important to seek treatment and utilize coping strategies. While Winter may not be favorite season of the year for many, it does not need to become a horrific experience. There is joy and light in any season and how one operates and maintains a schedule is key to keeping healthy and strong during the long Winter months.
Additional Resources
“What is seasonal affective disorder?”. National Institute of Mental Health. Access here
“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)”. Mayo Clinic. (2021). Access here
“What to Know About Seasonal Depression”. Seo, H. (2022). New York Times. Access here
“14 Ways to Ease Seasonal Depression”. Orenstein, B. & Pugle, M. (2023). Everyday Health. Access here
Revenge, holding a grudge, not forgiving and hating others over past actions leads to terrible consequences, both personally and socially. Even if, the grudge or anger against an individual is justified, holding these types of feelings can still be negative. It is important to learn how to properly let go of somethings and use proper channels to deal with others. Anger Management can help individuals learn to let go and diffuse hate and misgivings about others.
Allowing anger to exist in oneself due to a grudge does more harm to oneself than the other
There are somethings one cannot forget. There are somethings that are petty as well, but whether small or large, legitimate or illegitimate or hate or revenge, one will suffer personally when one allows anger and hate to ferment overtime. Here are a few things to consider.
First, what is the nature of the offense against oneself. Was the offense of a criminal nature or a minor nature?
Additionally, what role did one pay in the offense? Analyzing oneself is important. Was it due to one’s own selfishness or envy?
Third, what is one’s philosophical life view? Is it an “eye for an eye” or “turn the other cheek”? Is there middle ground? Can one alter a life philosophy that is causing hatred and discord in one’s life?
Fourth, how can one channel the anger? Can one find justice through appropriate legal action? If it is not of a criminal nature, how can one channel anger? Can one let it go after so many years to find peace? Can one forgive but not forget? Forgiveness sometimes is more beneficial for oneself, since it removes the poison caused by the other person. The healing permits the person to find peace and also better physical health.
Fifth, can one utilize anger management, meditation and other calming strategies to help one find inner peace? Sometimes individuals need counseling to let go.
These are important things to consider when dealing with grudges. Overall, most individuals deal with minor grudges throughout life and in turn these minor grudges into larger issues that not only make social situations uncomfortable but also overtime damage physical health. When one is so pre-occupied with negative occurrences with others, it puts one’s body in a state of tension and fight or flight. The body produces cortisol and epinephrine during high stress that raises heart rate, constricts blood vessels and muscles and prepares the body for action. If one holds a grudge and anger constantly, then these acute reactions become constant. Constant exposure overtime damages the body. In addition to the body, the tension of holding grudges increases chances of anxiety and depression.
For one’s own good, it is important to let things go or at least proportionately to a point where if justice is needed, it is provided, but one’s own constant internal struggle is limited. Spiritual individuals can sometimes find solace in leaving it in a higher power’s hands or even a karmic justice of the universe. Once, however, things are removed from one’s hands, it is best to accept what one can control and not allow something to tear at one inside. This may be easier said than done for those who are victims of crime, but even if crime or petty insult, holding on to anger and hate only hurts oneself overtime.
At a social and communal level, one merely needs to look on the map at the countless wars occurring now or throughout history. Blood feuds, grudges and ethnic hate carry one from generation to generation causing war and genocide. At family levels, uncles or brothers refuse to speak to each other causing family divide. A family grudge can cause strife during the holidays. While a small grudge may not lead to such extremes, one can see the power of hate at a micro level grow like a small flame into a massive forest fire. It is important to control anger, or slight, justified or unjustified in a way that does not spread hate or damage oneself.
The article, “5 Dangerous Consequences of Holding a Grudge” by Sean Grover takes a closer look at how personal grudges can overwhelm one’s entire life and lead to personal destruction. He states,
“Do you have trouble getting over a grudge? Do you obsessively ruminate about payback? Does the thought of “getting even” please you? If so, chances are you’re a grudge collector. And that’s not good news. Beneath the surface of every grudge is hurt. Betrayal, deceit, and broken trust are among the most common sources of grievances. Of course, we all eventually suffer hurt and humiliation, often at the hands of friends or loved ones. What you choose to do with the hurt determines if it hardens into a grudge or if you let it go and move on with your life.”
“5 Dangerous Consequences of Holding a Grudge”. Grover. S. (2023). Psychology Today.
Glover points out that many who are unable to let go of slights or grudges have many issues themselves. In this particular setting, we are not referring to criminal actions against oneself but an individual who psychologically has issues with other people and has a hard time letting anything go. Within these mindsets, one finds individuals who are arrogant, spiteful, and are unforgiving. Individuals with these traits make things bigger and more personal than they need to be. They feel wronged when they are not wronged in many cases and carry out a revengeful plan. Not only does this person deal with their own inner demons but they also cause physical trauma within themselves by constantly being at war with the world.
Sometimes the one holding the grudge is the issue and not the other person. Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Specialist Program
It is important whether like an individual with these traits, or an individual who has been wronged to try to let go as best as possible in correlation to the magnitude of the event. Glover recommends processing the hurt, seeking support as needed and moving on. If the event was criminal, then of course accessing all possible venues, but if not, letting go. As for those with more selfish mindsets, it is best to take responsibility for one’s role in the event and learn from mistakes. This is easier said than done for some selfish individuals but if one wants inner peace, one needs to let go.
While some grudges are benign, some are criminal, and some grudges may be more one’s fault than the other. Regardless, anger and unprocessed hate cause damage to the body and soul and it is important to find ways to remove this negative energy from one’s body.
Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Specialist Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management.
Additional Resources
“Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness”. Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022). Mayo Clinic. Access here
“The Mental Health Effects of Holding a Grudge”. Vanbuskirk, S. (2021). VeryWellMind. Access here
“Holding Grudges Only Hurts You — Try These Tips to Let Them Go”. Telloian, C. (2022). Healthline. Access here
“Why We Hold Grudges, and How to Let Them Go”. Coller, N. (2015). Psychology Today. Access here
The way grief memory imprints on the human brain is important because it helps keep the moment vivid and remembered for a long period. While during acute grieving this poses issues for healing, in the long term, it keeps the precious memories of the loved one intact far stronger. No-one wishes to lose the memory of a loved one. In fact, many go to lengthy processes to keep the memory alive. Keeping a certain object, clothing, or journaling are all ways individuals try to keep the memory strong. Fortunately the brain keeps it strong as well.
The way sad events are filed in the brain allow the memory to imprint better. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The Hippocampus and the Amygdala play a key role in keeping the emotion imprinted. The Amygdala processes emotion to the Hippocampus sometimes in intense ways that even bypass longer cognitive thought in a more direct route. The Hippocampus imprints these types of emotional images and for long term. The Cortex also imprints these images. Unfortunately, sometimes trauma and intense grief can cause PTSD where these images are fragmented and never properly processed. These are not the types of long term grief memories we want.
The video below discusses how grief and memory interact with other. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
While having a child is supposed to be the most exciting and wonderful thing in life, sometimes after the birth of a child, the mother, or even the father, can experience sadness and even depression. This is not due to actual loss but a chemical imbalance within the neurotransmitters that is offset. In mothers, it can be due to a variety of hormonal issues, while in fathers, it can be due to past depression history. “Baby Blues”, when it does occurs, lasts anywhere from a few days to a two weeks, but if it persists into depression, it is important to seek help from one’s doctor to help properly balance oneself. This is why it is so important for spouses, family and friends to observe each other during the first few weeks after child birth. Usually the emphasis is on the infant only but changes in mood for parents are also important things to watch and monitor. This type of situation is not anything to be ashamed of or a dismissal of the joyous occasion, but merely is mental health and properly taking care of it.
Postpartum Depression can rob one of the joy of having a child. It is important to seek medical help if symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks
Many of the symptoms associated with Post Partum Depression mirror any other type of depression but the biggest issue is it prevents proper bonding with one’s child and can make it harder to meet the needs of the new infant. This happy moment should be an experience of joy, but when depression sinks in, it can be difficult to enjoy these memorial moments or even worst, cause risk to self or the child. This is why it is so critical to seek help.
The article, “Post Partum Depression” from the Mayo Clinic takes a closer look at issues surrounding sadness, depression or even psychosis after child birth. The article states,
“The birth of a baby can start a variety of powerful emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also result in something you might not expect — depression. Most new moms experience postpartum “baby blues” after childbirth, which commonly include mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Baby blues usually begin within the first 2 to 3 days after delivery and may last for up to two weeks. But some new moms experience a more severe, long-lasting form of depression known as postpartum depression”.
“Post Partem Depression”. Mayo Clinic. (2022). Mayo Clinic
Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience, but it can also bring about unexpected challenges. One such challenge is postpartum depression, a condition that affects many women after giving birth. Understanding postpartum depression is the first step towards finding effective strategies to deal with it. Postpartum depression is not simply a case of “baby blues” or feeling a bit down; it is a serious mental health condition that requires attention and support.
Postpartum depression can manifest in different ways, but some common signs and symptoms include persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, and irritability. Women experiencing postpartum depression may also struggle with sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, and a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed. It’s important to recognize these symptoms and seek help if they persist for more than a couple of weeks. Postpartum depression can have a profound impact on a mother’s overall well-being, as well as on her relationships and family dynamics.
The impact of postpartum depression on mothers and families
Postpartum depression not only affects the mother, but it can also have a significant impact on her relationships and family. The emotional and physical toll of postpartum depression can strain the bond between the mother and her partner, leading to feelings of isolation and resentment. In some cases, postpartum depression can even affect the mother’s ability to bond with her newborn baby, potentially impacting the child’s development.
Post Partum Depression can cause major strains on families after child birth and also play a role in not providing the infant with the care he/she needs
Furthermore, postpartum depression can disrupt the entire household dynamic. Partners may need to take on additional responsibilities, and other family members may need to step in to provide support. This can create stress and tension within the family, further exacerbating the challenges faced by the mother. Recognizing the impact of postpartum depression on mothers and families is crucial in order to provide the necessary support and understanding during this difficult time.
Effective strategies for dealing with postpartum depression
Dealing with postpartum depression requires a multi-faceted approach that addresses both the physical and emotional aspects of the condition. While it is important to seek professional help, there are also effective strategies that can be implemented on a daily basis to manage symptoms and promote recovery.
One such strategy is self-care. Taking care of oneself is often overlooked when dealing with postpartum depression, but it is essential for the mother’s well-being. This can include engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation, prioritizing sleep and nutrition, and finding ways to manage stress. Self-care is not selfish; it is a necessary step towards healing and recovery.
Building a support system is another crucial aspect of dealing with postpartum depression. Surrounding oneself with understanding and supportive individuals can make a world of difference. This can include reaching out to family and friends, joining support groups specifically for postpartum depression, or connecting with other mothers who have gone through similar experiences. Having a support system in place provides a sense of validation and helps combat feelings of isolation.
Seeking professional help for postpartum depression
While self-care and support systems are important, it is essential to seek professional help when dealing with postpartum depression. Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors specializing in postpartum depression, can provide the necessary guidance and support. They can help identify underlying causes, develop coping mechanisms, and provide effective treatment options.
Antidepressant medication may also be prescribed in some cases, especially if the symptoms of postpartum depression are severe. It is important to consult with a healthcare provider to determine the best course of action. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness; it is a proactive step towards recovery and empowerment.
Support groups and resources for postpartum depression
Support groups can be a valuable resource for women dealing with postpartum depression. These groups provide a safe and understanding space where mothers can share their experiences, receive support, and learn from others who have faced similar challenges. Support groups can be found both online and in-person, offering flexibility and accessibility.
There are also numerous resources available for women experiencing postpartum depression. Websites, books, and podcasts dedicated to postpartum depression provide valuable information and strategies for coping. Additionally, many organizations offer helplines and online chat services where women can seek guidance and support in real-time. Utilizing these resources can help women feel empowered and less alone in their journey towards recovery.
Self-care tips for managing postpartum depression
Self-care is an essential component of managing postpartum depression. Here are some practical self-care tips that can be incorporated into daily routines:
Prioritize sleep: Aim for quality sleep by establishing a regular sleep schedule and creating a relaxing bedtime routine.
Nourish your body: Focus on eating a balanced diet that includes nutrient-rich foods to support overall well-being.
Engage in gentle exercise: Physical activity, such as yoga or walking, can help boost mood and reduce stress.
Practice mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to promote relaxation and reduce anxiety.
Delegate and ask for help: Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance from loved ones or hire help with household tasks to alleviate some of the pressure.
Engage in activities you enjoy: Make time for hobbies or activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading, painting, or listening to music.
Remember, self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for your well-being. By prioritizing self-care, you are better equipped to navigate the challenges of postpartum depression.
Building a support system for postpartum depression
Building a support system is crucial for women dealing with postpartum depression. Here are some strategies for creating a strong support network:
Communicate with your partner: Openly discuss your feelings with your partner and seek their understanding and support.
Reach out to family and friends: Share your experiences with trusted loved ones who can provide emotional support and practical assistance.
Join support groups: Connect with other women experiencing postpartum depression through local support groups or online communities.
Seek professional help: Consult with mental health professionals who specialize in postpartum depression for guidance and support.
Consider therapy for couples: Couples therapy can help improve communication and strengthen the relationship during this challenging time.
Remember, you don’t have to face postpartum depression alone. Building a support system can provide the encouragement and understanding you need to navigate this difficult period.
Creating a postpartum depression action plan
Creating an action plan can help you navigate the challenges of postpartum depression proactively. Here are some steps to consider when developing your plan:
Educate yourself: Learn about postpartum depression, its symptoms, and available resources.
Set realistic goals: Break down your recovery journey into manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Identify triggers: Recognize the situations or circumstances that worsen your symptoms, and develop strategies to manage them.
Establish a routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and stability during this unpredictable time.
Practice self-care: Incorporate self-care activities into your daily routine to prioritize your well-being.
Seek professional help: Consult with mental health professionals to develop a personalized treatment plan.
By creating an action plan, you are taking an active role in managing your postpartum depression and empowering yourself towards recovery.
Conclusion
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals
Dealing with postpartum depression can be challenging, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. By understanding postpartum depression, recognizing its impact, and implementing effective strategies, you can navigate this difficult period and empower yourself towards recovery. Whether it’s through self-care, seeking professional help, or building a support system, each step you take brings you closer to healing and embracing the joys of motherhood. Remember to be kind to yourself and reach out for the support you deserve.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification. Licensed professionals in counseling are excellent candidates to earn a Grief Counseling Certification.
Additional Resources
“Postpartum Depression”. HealthEssentials. (2022). Cleveland Clinic. Access here
“Everything You Need to Know About Postpartum Depression: Symptoms, Treatments, and finding help”. Pietrangelo, A. (2022). Healthline. Access here
“Postpartum Depression”. OASH. (2023). Office on Women’s Health. Access here
“Postpartum Depression”. Bruce, D. (2022). WebMD. Access here
Grief and loss are not simply one moment in time but a continual wave and ripple throughout one’s life. A person’s loss creates an unfillable void. This is expected because the love is unique and special. It can never be replaced but overtime, the acute grief becomes less sharp but still nonetheless, very present in the shadows. As time proceeds, grief does not leave but it evolves. Although one may adjust to the loss in a healthy fashion, the pain and loss can re-emerge in moments, or re-appear at certain places or times. Grief overtime is a constant pressure that reminds one of the loss but at different intensities and in different types of emotions throughout the years. The long trek of not having someone is a life long trek and one that everyone eventually experiences.
Grief does not end but it does evolve. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The article, “Grief Years Later: 4 Challenges” from Eleanor Haley of “What’s Your Grief” presents an excellent outline of experiences and feelings individuals feel throughout the years following a loss. She discusses issues of lost validation of the loss, secondary losses that emerge, memories becoming less vivid and more abstract, and loss connections over time. She states,
“It’s not for me to predict how anyone will feel about their loss years down the line. Hundreds of different factors can influence the roads people take, the perspectives they find, and the things they make peace with. What I can say about grief years later is that many people continue to revisit and grapple with their loss experiences in an ongoing way. I don’t say any of this to scare you. I simply want anyone feeling surprised, frustrated, or dysfunctional because they’re still tripping over their losses to know they’re capital ‘N’ normal.”
“Grief Years Later: 4 Challenges”. Haley, E. (2023). “What’s Your Grief”‘
Haley brings up many good points which we will look at in more detail in this blog.
First, as Haley references in her article, the first year of grief and even the second are perhaps the most difficult. The acute sharp pain of the loss stabs the heart. The new and unwanted existence of living without a person is difficult to navigate. And within the year and next year, constant holidays and reminders haunt and tear the emotional scab open again and again. However, as time goes one, grief becomes less acute. While it can come and go in waves still, overall, unless complications, the grief is less intense overall. The pain becomes more numb and can only be aroused if one focuses on the loss.
Other emotions also exist as grief evolves though. Instead of just pain and regret, there can be joy and happiness. A joy in pleasant memories that can bring a smile to a person. Happiness knowing the person is in a better place or no longer hurting. Or even a gratitude for being able to share the time one had with each other. Other positive emotions emerge. The yearning for reconnection remains but positive emotions also exist side by side. For those of religious backgrounds, a hope also returns of a reunion in the next life.
Overtime, memories become more abstract. Many fear losing memories of loved ones
Haley references the fading of vivid memories and the emergence of more abstract memories. While some memories may be vivid, as time proceeds, certain scents, features, and traits may seem more distant. The fear of losing memories is one of the biggest fears of the grieving. This is why so many things are kept. Items, some clothing and other articles are sometimes kept to maintain a healthy connection. This is why it is so important to collect pictures, journal and write down emotions surrounding the loss. As time goes forward, one can then return to those notes or pictures and again remember the past. In addition, dreams play a key role in remembering. While traumatic incidents will constantly haunt one in a unhealthy way, others sometimes find pleasance in the dream of a loved one. Some may even believe this is a visit from the afterlife. As time proceeds, many find such dreams to be peaceful, while others who suffer from more serious trauma surrounding the death may find it to be more of a nightmare.
Haley mentions secondary losses as a changing reality as grief proceeds through time. If a widow, one may find less income as the years go by. As a widower, one may not go to certain festivals or movies anymore without one’s wife. As an adult child, one may no longer go to the old family home. Others may find difficulties with certain tasks that were provided by the other spouse. No longer is there someone to wash the clothes or cook or mow the yard. These instances are cold reminders of the original loss but also the lingering pains associated with the loss itself. In addition, Haley states that many lose past connections. Individuals that once were common in one’s life over time are less seen since the deceased died. Maybe certain friends no longer visit as time goes on and individuals within a family become more distant since the patriarch or matriarch of the family has passed. Holiday traditions may pass with the passing of time as well. These are all markings of grief overtime itself. If one loses a child, maybe the individual overtime feels he/she is no longer a parent? Not being able to experience graduations, weddings, and becoming a grand parent can become haunting reminders over the time of what was lost.
Finally, and maybe most importantly, Haley illustrates that many individuals are no longer validated in their loss. The initial checkups, flowers, sympathy cards, and calls become less and less. While the loss still hurts, other individuals have moved on in life. Others may grow tired of discussing the loss and may avoid. Others may no longer know how to talk about the loss and feel to remain quiet. Still others may become irritated and push one to “get over it”. These are all issues that the grieving face as grief ages over time.
Conclusion
A loss is not a singular moment in history but a wave of titanic proportions that affect one’s life forever. While this may seem terrifying, it is true but also good. It is good because it means someone was loved and meant that much to you and they cannot be replaced. Overtime grief changes for good and bad but one must continue to adjust and adapt to the loss as grief ages overtime.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Additional Resources
“How Grief Changes Over Time”. Dembling, S. (2023). Psychology Today. Access here
“Can You Grieve a Death Almost 30 Years Later?”. Sandler, E. (2017). Psychology Today. Access here
“Grief 10 Years Later”. Granek, L. (2015). Huffington Post. Access here
“DOES GRIEF GET MORE CHALLENGING AS TIME GOES ON?”. Gemima, C. (2022). GriefHeal.org. Access here
