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Christian Counseling Certification Article on Killing and Murder

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The sanctify of life has always been championed by the Christianity.  Stemming from the 5th Commandment, “Thou Shalt Not Kill”, or more properly interpreted, murder, Christianity and the Church has taught it is sinful to take a life without serious applications.  There is a big difference between killing and murdering obviously.   The fact that this distinction is made, in no way lessens the Church or Christianity’s teaching on the sanctify of life, but only saddens the Church when killing becomes necessary.   This brings one to very complicated situations that needs addressed.

First and foremost, revenge killing, murder, abortion and euthanasia are always morally wrong.  It is murder to willingly without sufficient cause to take another human life.   All Christian Churches, especially the Catholic Church, has made numerous condemnations against abortion and euthanasia.  Numerous documents exist that condemn these atrocities.  Pope John Paul II himself referred to today’s culture as the culture of death in which the value of human life has been removed.

The act of killing is not always the act of murder. This is understood in all our legal system as well within moral theology of Christianity

 

Human life through abortion has been commercialized and human beings have been reduced to objects.   Human life through euthanasia has reduced life to a choice instead of a gift.   These social movements have eroded the moral sense of right and wrong in regards to life.  While society hopes to cloud the moral objectivity of murder, Christianity has stood strong in condemning these actions.

Yet, despite the Church’s condemnation of murder, Christian social teaching does not forbid necessary killing.   There is a large difference between justified killing and murder.  Let us first look at war itself.

The Church, especially in the West through St Thomas Aquinas, has taught Just War Theory.  This theory does not praise war but laments the unfortunate necessity of it when evil forces arise.   Aquinas pointed out that war can only be justified when defensive in nature.  Furthermore, certain codes of conduct were necessary.  These codes are reflected today in how civilized nations conduct war.   Use of extraordinary weapons without sufficient cause are forbidden, as well as weapons that can cause massive death and torture.  Furthermore, attacks on civilians, as well as unarmed soldiers and prisoners of war are regulated.   It no longer becomes killing, but murder when the enemy is captured or disarmed and then killed.  This is reflected in Aquinas but also again in modern law regarding war crimes.

Self defense of a nation justifies killing in war, but only to the extent of defense and destruction of evil.   The same ideal is applied to individual self defense.  One who uses deadly force because it is the only alternative in preserving one’s life does not break the 5th Commandment, but instead preserves one’s own life.  Again, this is because the 5th Commandment forbids murder not killing!

Sometimes, one can look to the Old Testament and see the many sanctions of God being very warlike.  These motifs are human words describing the divine in the sacred texts.  It does not mean to interpret a God who has blood lust.  God as the author of life and death can strike down an evil king, for God’s vengeance is justice.  Yet, we see God very much involved in Israel’s history, helping Israel strike down her enemies in war.  We also see in the books of laws, many codes that demanded death for certain offenses.

Interpretation of spiritual or physical death can always be argued, but it is without a doubt, that before Christ, the world was indeed more dark.  God did not magically become different after the coming of Christ, transferring an eye for an eye to turn the other cheek, but God was always the same.  It was the time and the interpretation that differed.

In fact, an eye for an eye mentality found in scripture was actually utilized to minimize violence not condone it.  It looked to prevent excessive revenge and only justice.  Yet, those before the time of Christ, during the fallen era of Satan, were more inclined to sin without the abundance of available grace through Christ’s death.  This does not mean barbaric actions ceased to happen after Christ, but it does point that Satan had a greater grasp on more souls than he does now.   God, before the coming of Christ, through the commandments hoped to guide fallen humanity through the prophets as best he could, but until the coming of Christ, without grace, humanity was at a greater risk of evil influence.   Attempting to curb Israel’s inclinations was the best the prophets could do during these times.  In fact, Christ even pointed out regarding marriage laws, that Moses permitted certain evils only because of the stubborn nature of the people. This applied to all cases in morality.   It would be through Christ that the fullness of law could understood and enacted.

Jesus came to fulfill the Old Law and complete it. His ideas on mercy and forgiveness were key

 

Hence when we review many of the old ways regarding killing in the Old Testament, it must be understood under those lights.  God never sought the death of innocence, but in fact, like with Abraham and Isaac, rejected human sacrifice or death.  Yet, when we see God push forward just punishment upon the wicked, as in the case of the plagues upon Egypt, we cannot associate His justice, as the author of life and death, as wrong.  We cannot apply justification in war and defense towards our own actions, the way God did in the Bible.

Yet, we see many Christian extremists misuse Scripture, especially the Old Testament, to justify killing, when in reality they are committing murder.  One classic example of this is the Book of Leviticus and its condemnation of homosexuality and the proposed punishment of death.   These old laws are not justification for Christians to murder homosexuals, but with misuse and wrongful interpretation of ancient laws can lead to evil outcomes.

Hence, defense that is appropriate to the action is the only time the taking of another life is justified.  This may appear on a larger scale such as a battlefield, or in individual self defense.  These issues again are only a last resort.

The final social issue that clouds the morality of killing and murder is capital punishment.  The idea as whether the state has the right to deny a person of life is debated in Christianity.  While there does exist a historical tradition for the state’s right to execute, these ideas need to be understood in the context of the time period it was developed in.   The largest concern in regards to capital punishment is the right of the state to defend society from harm.  When this is taken into account, in the past, did sufficient prisons exist to defend individuals from dangerous criminals?  Also, was the person a persistent threat?  For self defense to exist, there must exist immediate threat or potential for that threat to continue.

In today’s prisons, the chance of escape is very low.  The idea of an immediate threat is also almost none existent in a modern system.  The only possible situation may be if the criminal is a mobster who can order hits from within prison.  Yet, if the person is imprisoned, no longer a threat to society, can that person be morally executed by the state?

Whether the action was heinous or not is not the question.  The question is does the person pose an immediate threat to society.

Some would contend this is not an issue and that the state has legitimate authority to execute dangerous criminals who commit the most heinous crimes.  Unlike vengeance which is carried out with emotion from the party injured, the state is a legitimate authority that presents justice.  Does the state hence represent God in someway in carrying out sentences?  This was definitely a medieval ideal where kings and queens were ordained by God to rule. Yet, many states are far from pure and just.  Communist nations murder its own citizens everyday in the name of justice.

Yet if a state has legitimate authority and is utilizing its authority in a just way for the protection of society, does it have an authority from God to execute a dangerous criminal?  Is the sentence of death, even if the person can no longer hurt anyone, justified?  Whether revenge or justice, is it condoned?

Ultimately it comes down to whether one believes the state has authority from God to execute criminals.  This is somewhat still a debated issue, especially since in the modern era, incarcerated criminals are usually no longer a threat to society.   I would contend that, while the state is a neutral and just authority void of vengeance, it still cannot in good conscience take a life within the modern ability to confine criminals.  Of course culpability is lessened for those involved in the legal process than a street mob, but the ultimate price of taking a life is forbidden by anyone.

If the state cannot show proof that the execution is for the defense of society, then it truly has no grounds to execute from a Christian perspective.  The only authority to execute for the sake of execution is God. God alone is the author of life and death not the state.

Again, this is taking into account, modern prisons and the ability of the state to protect the people through the prison system itself.

When the state does execute for the sake of execution, it takes the role of God.  Furthermore, this removes the chance of a person to live a life of repentance while in prison.

Many Christians dismiss this type of murder by the state as not important because the individuals are criminals and evil.  They would rather focus on abortion and the innocents who die.  Both issues are important because both involve murder.  Life must be preserved at all stages and situations.   Also bear in mind, many times, innocent men and women can also be executed.

So while state execution does have a history and may be justified even in the past, it is very hard to foster a Christian defense of its application today.  Still be it, the state, as a neutral voice of justice, must ensure that the execution is humane and without torture.  Of course this is after the fact that it remains an immoral action regardless of circumstance surrounding it.

It is indeed difficult to defend the wicked, but the value of life must be protected for all.  God is author of life alone.  Only in cases of self defense is killing permitted in Christianity and that applies to everyone.

Please also review our Christian Counseling Certification and see if it meets your professional and academic needs

 

If you would like to learn more about Christian dogma or morality, please review our blog.  Also, if you are interested in becoming a certified Christian Counselor, then please review The Christian Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.

Holistic Integrative Practitioner Article on Alternative Pain Relief Practices

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Dealing with pain is a serious issue for Americans.  Acute treatment usually requires some type of short term pain relief, but due to addiction, the use is becoming shorter and less.  Americans are looking to find non addictive and other ways to deal with both acute as well as long lasting chronic pain.  Holistic and alternative practices offer some varieties and ways to deal with pain.  These sometimes cheaper options are also safer and can bring relief to pain.

Alternative and non addictive ways are being sought by Americans to combat pain. Please also review our Holistic Integrative Specialist Program

The article, “Opioid crisis leaves Americans seeking alternative options for pain relief” by  Cindy Schweich Handler discusses how Americans are turning to alternative methods to relieve pain.  She states,

“Holistic practitioners believe that while patients are free to see their regular doctors, integrating physical therapy, massage, chiropractic, acupuncture and other procedures achieves best results in a majority of cases. It’s a conclusion patients are coming to, as well; according to the National Institutes of Health, a third of Americans seek help for their health in a place that’s outside their doctor’s office, and the trend seems to be on the rise.”

To read the entire article, please click here

With the need and rise of alternative practices, Holistic Practitioners have an opportunity to put an imprint upon the healthcare scene with real and good methods to help against pain.  Please also review our Holistic Integrative Practitioner Certification and see if it meets your goals.

ADHD Consulting Program Article on ADHD and Its

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

ADHD is seen by many in a negative light.  Society sees it as an annoyance due to children not behaving or being able to sit still.  While it is still a disorder that needs to be addressed and taught to cope with, it still can leave some benefits that others may not notice.

With some of the chaos in ADHD, comes a few potential advantages that can be taken. Please also review our ADHD Consulting Program

 

In the article, “I Have ADHD—And Here’s Why It’s My Superpower” by Ken Babakhan, a different twist on ADHD is reviewed.  He states,

“Shankman says that once he knew what he was up against, he was able to figure out how to avoid repeating mistakes and making new ones. ‘Those of us with ADHD live with a much faster brain than a normal person,” he says, “and we have to find ways to use that to our benefit and work with it.’ ”

To read the entire article, please click here to review the entire article

Please also review our ADHD Consulting Program and see if it meets your academic goals

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Miscarriage Loss

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Miscarriage may seem invisible to many but it is a reality that can affect a couple or woman.  The expectations and joy of what if can all be lost in a miscarriage.   The lost of a life whether born or not yet born may be less visible but it is still a real loss of a child.   The loss of a child takes away the status of motherhood or fatherhood potentially to individuals.

Miscarriages represent true loss. Many parents suffer without any consolation. Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification

The article, “Early Miscarriage Is An Invisible Loss, But The Grief Is Real” discusses this loss.  Beth Bailey states,

“There was nothing chemical about the pregnancy my body briefly nurtured. Its effects may have been invisible to those around me, but the child was real and much desired. The loss was greatly mourned.”

This type of loss is common but rarely acknowledged as true loss for many.  To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals

Certified Grief Counselor Article on the Nature of Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief is pivotal, central and important emotion in human life.  It is forever tied to the fallen human condition and deeply connected to the emotion of love.  Grief is more than just a sentient emotion but an emotion felt in many animals as well.  Hence grief is beyond intellect but also instinctive and evolutionary.

Individuals do consciously grieve and understand the loss but grief also is a natural reaction to loss at the most simple level.   Grief as a formula is simply put love plus loss equals grief.  Love is a binding emotion.  Love ties one to another person or thing.  Through value of the possessed and habit of possessing, anything that removes that love or thing causes discomfort.  This discomfort is grief.

Grief is a healthy and natural reaction to loss. It helps one adjust to loss and adjust to the change that comes with losing something or someone we love

The grief reaction to loss varies and is correlated to the value of the loved person or thing.  If something has little value, then the loss is inconsequential.  If something or someone has great value in in one’s life, then the loss is very consequential.  Some losses can be small and insignificant while other losses can be life altering.  The greater the loss, the greater the grief.

The loss may be objective or subjective in value according to the person.  Someone who was raised by his or her grandparents will grieve the loss of a grandparent more than someone who only saw his or her grandparents once a year.   Loss can also be subjective in that is may seem odd to others.  For example, some may find it extremely odd to mourn the loss of a pet, while pet owners would disagree completely.  Again the subjective value is key in understanding the loss reaction.

While grief in many ways is abides by universal standards and reactions, one must also realize that the reactions within this wide norm differs extremely.  So while grief is universal it is still unique.

Grief as stated is not only a conscious pain but also a unconscious reaction.  The grave importance of grief is to help the person or animal adjust to the loss.  The adjustment process is a long mourning period where one learns how to cope without the person or thing.  Most non complicated grief reactions to significant loss lasts six months to a year before it becomes labeled as pathological or complicated.   This does not guarantee that grief goes away within a set time, but it does illustrate that new coping strategies are incorporated into the person’s life to better deal with the loss on a day to day basis.

Grief allows one’s mental self to heal.  It permits the body to mourn and adjust to loss.  Long ago this natural adjustment and self healing was considered a pathology in itself but psychology now teaches that grief is an important transitional ingredient in healing.  It should not be dismissed or rejected but fully accepted as a normal and healthy reaction to loss.  Seeing grief as something bad or unhealthy is a dangerous view to hold.  Grief instead is the body reacting to loss and learning to adjust to that loss in a more healthy way.   Complete adjustment is a simple lie.   This is the price of love.  Anything worth loving is never worth forgetting or missing but grieving allows our mind to heal and learn to exist differently.

Grief hence has a very important function in healing but grief is also a social sign to others.  In animals especially, signs of grief permits other members of the community to help the grieving animal to recover.  The same social signs of grief, tears, crying and emotional withdraw signify to family and friends that one needs help.   Grieving hence serves a signal to the community to help those who are sad or depressed.  It is a social subconscious distress symbol to family and friends.

Grief because of this is not something bad.  Losing something or someone is bad but the reaction to it is not bad.  If there was no reaction to loss, then one would be merely a non sentient creature merely existing from meal to meal.  Instead, the reaction to loss not only serves as a healthy reaction to loss that leads to recovery, but it is also a sentient reaction to something or someone that was very special.

It allows one to heal and alert others of distress but it forever reminds one the value of what was lost.  It never allows one to forget the beloved and the love that was shared.   This grief becomes part of who we are the moment we enter into love or deep communion with another human being.  If one did not grieve, then what value is that relationship?  Grieving is important in identifying what mattered most and not allowing what mattered most to be ever forgotten.

Grieving in its later stages, pushes individuals to healthy coping measures where acute depression is replaced with action.  Memoralizing and living a certain way in honor of the beloved becomes healthy and conducive expressions of grief.   In national losses, social action for better laws or prevention of future loss are a result of healthy coping produced through grief.   Grief hence is an important emotion in being human and living a healthy human life.

Avoiding grief can lead to complications. We need to accept grief and realize it is price of love. Please also review our Grief Counselor Program

Suffering and loss are products of an imperfect world.  Those of faith pray and hope that the next world will have no suffering and loss.  They pray that grief will only be a necessary emotion in the temporal world and not the after life.  In this, those of faith can cope even better than those of no faith.  The reality regardless of faith though is that one must escape and embrace grief while in this world if they wish to cope and live a healthy life.

Certified grief counselors can help individuals cope with grief and embrace it a healthy way.  Change is never an easy thing but through help, one can utilize grief to better adjust and adapt to loss.  The American Academy of Grief Counseling offers a comprehensive program in Grief Counseling.  Certified grief counselors learn the basics of grieving and are trained to help others.  Beyond the basic Grief Counseling certification, members and qualified professionals can also specialize in Child and Adolescent Grief Counseling, Pet Loss Grief Support, and Christian Grief Counseling.

The programs are online and independent study.  After completion of the online program, one can become certified for four years.  If you are interested in learning more about the American Academy of Grief Counseling’s certification program then please review the program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  Once certified as a Grief Counselor, you can then become able to help others face grief in a healthy and natural way.

 

 

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C

Meditation Instructor Certification Article on Meditation

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Meditation is an age old practice.  It is associated with spirituality but also over all health.  While originally spiritual in essence, in recent years it has become an alternative health practice in the West.

Meditation, especially Eastern Meditation, is still very spiritual even if Westerners only look for the health benefits

Meditation is not just a fad but is an excellent tool for better health, stress reduction, and a better mental outlook.  For those who are spiritual, it is also an immensely useful tool in becoming closer with God.  Eastern as well as Western religions utilize it.  In this blog, we will look at the most prominent types of meditation, their uses and the health benefits associated.  We will also review AIHCP’s Meditation Instructor Certification.

Meditation as a spiritual tool is its oldest use.  Meditation in the far East was used to become closer to God.  Hinduism looks for reunification.  The soul tries to reunify with Brahman.  Through meditation, this reunification can occur sooner in life or lives.  With this in mind, many of the techniques used for relaxation are focused on helping the mind escape the body.

In Christianity, meditation has a different use.  Reunification with divinity is not the purpose but becoming closer to God.  While it may appear the same there are fundamental differences in this.  In the East, there is total union.  There is no longer separation between beings but everything itself becomes being.  In the West, the difference between Creator and creation is maintained.  So union is quite different in these traditions.

Whichever religion one may be, spiritual meditation is a critical part of any faith.  As a deeper form of prayer, it allows one to deeply communicate with the divine and become spiritually closer.  This is essential in any religious and spiritual relationship.  Individuals look to not only become better persons but also become closer with their God.

Since meditation has come to the West, many of the Eastern techniques have been utilized in secular settings.   Christian Meditation has not become as secular, but only Eastern meditation.   It is important to note this for individuals who wish to use Eastern meditation as a health option but also avoid any spiritual aspects that may contradict their faith.  Caution is needed for these Christian Westerners who wish to meditation for health purposes.

Those not seeking any type of spiritual connection look for the mind and body benefits of meditation solely.  Mindfulness Meditation is an Eastern use.  It is very popular for executives and stressed individuals.  This type of meditation looks to focus on all thoughts and words.  This type of meditation has no judgement upon what thoughts enter.  Another type of meditation is Transcendental Meditation.  This meditation is more structured and scientifically studied.  As the most popular form of meditation, it is used by those who are more serious about meditating.  The structure is far more deep than mindfulness meditation.  (1)

Other forms of meditation include mantra meditation where words are recited.  Also focused meditation utilizes all five senses.   Another type of meditation involves movement, such as yoga. Ultimately, all types of meditation were originally intended for spiritual ends but their health benefits can also be utilized.

Obviously the health benefits of meditation beyond the spiritual are multiple.  Stress reduction is the biggest reason anyone utilizes meditation.  From stressed parents to high end executives, individuals look to meditation to find relaxation and less stress.  The results are more calm and less hormones from stress, such as cortisol, that can cause higher blood pressure and issues with the heart.  In addition to this benefit, meditation also helps the immune system, reduces muscle aches, can ease inflammation, and help relax muscles for better movement. (2)

Meditation has numerous health benefits but primarily helps fight stress and stress related ailments

In addition to this, mentally meditation can help the mind with anxiety, depression, as well as other mental stresses.  A calmer, clearer mind is beneficial for all health systems within the body.  When meditation is combined with other alternative health practices, such as hypnotherapy or EFT, one can even see better results against other mental issues.

With so many benefits, many individuals are looking to learn how to meditate.  They are individually practicing, or looking for groups to join.  Meditation books, videos, and meditation classes are in larger demand.  Individuals, as well as corporations are looking to train in meditation for the multitude of benefits.  This is also true in the work place, where employers are even utilizing meditation instructors to train employees in mindfulness.

Certified Meditation Instructors are excellent candidates to help meet these needs.   Meditation Instructors can offer classes, advice and training to firms, corporations, as well as individuals.  They can offer small classes or large classes.   Individuals with an interest in meditation and various backgrounds in healthcare, or education in healthcare and meditation are great candidates to become certified meditation instructors.   Life coaches, trainers, nurses, massage therapists, spiritual gurus or those with education in the subject can all take advantage of the interest in meditation.  They can then utilize their skills helping the general public benefit from the mental and physical aspects of meditation.  Again, the biggest movement towards meditation is the secular crowd looking for mental and physical health benefits.

The American Institute of Health Care Professionals offers a certification for Meditation Instructors.  The Meditation Instructor Certification is an online, self paced program designed for working professionals.  The program entails online courses that educate the individual in the basics of meditation.  After completing the required meditation courses, the individual can then apply for a four year certification.   The certification can be renewed every four years.  During the four year spans, the meditation instructor must display five hundred hours of work within the field of meditation, as well as fifty hours of continuing education.

Learn how to become a certified Meditation Instructor. You can then help others learn the value of meditation in their daily lives

The courses again are online and self paced.  After the completion of each course, one receives a certificate of completion.  The American Institute of Health Care Professional has offered this certification for over Fifteen years and has successfully certified individuals throughout the country in many different career settings.  If you are interested or would like to become a certified Meditation Instructor, then please review the Meditation Program and see if it meets your professional and academic goals.

In the meantime, meditation continues to become a growing field.  Individuals from every aspect of private and professional life are utilizing its benefits.   With such a growing marker, qualified professionals can offer their services and benefit in this business field.

 

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Mass Shooting Post Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

There is nothing more unexpected and more traumatic than a school shooting.  The lasting grief and forever scars on the survivors are unfathomable.   Family, fellow students, and the community all suffer traumatically from such senseless loss.

Mass shootings are the things of nightmares and a traumatic form of loss and grief. Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification
Mass shootings are the things of nightmares and a traumatic form of loss and grief. Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification

The article, “Lasting Grief After a Mass Shooting” by Ashley Fetters looks closer at this horrific pain and loss.  The article states,

“Mass shootings often result in a particularly difficult kind of grief known as traumatic grief. Littleton describes traumatic grief as a PTSD reaction that occurs when someone is grieving over another person’s violent or unexpected death; in other words, traumatic grief occurs when someone has PTSD symptoms on top of grief symptoms.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Unfortunately this type of grief is all too common for America as a collective whole.  We all suffer from this loss in some way, with some more intimately connected than others.

Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic needs.

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Child Grief and Loss

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Interesting article on experiencing grief at a young age and how it affects one in adulthood.

The article, “Tragedy, magical thinking, and the lasting impact of grief” by Geraldine de Brit looks at a tragic loss of her mother and sibling in an accident and how she felt and adapted through the years.

Tragic loss and a young age can have life long implications. Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification
Tragic loss and a young age can have life long implications. Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification

The article states,

“Even now, 42 years later, this event still has the ability to feel unreal, like it must have been a mistake and I ask myself, “ how could it have happened? How could I not have seen them in all this time?” In such moments it can even feel like they might still come back, like I am leading an interim life until they do.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification to see if it matches your academic and professional goals.

Christian Counseling Certification on the Joy of Receiving

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
Please also review our Christian Counseling Certification
Please also review our Christian Counseling Certification

The title of this blog, the “Joy of Receiving” may surprise a few at first but the role a Christian plays in accepting something is as important in the role they play in giving.   We have heard the phrase, “it is truly better to give than to receive” but like all reciprocal relationships, there needs to a proper balance.

If one only takes, then obviously one can detect a clear selfish individual who preys upon the generosity of others.   If one only takes, then they are unable to share, or help others in life.  These individuals tend to be more materialistic and greed filled.  They feel no need to share their talents, or share their gifts to others.  They care very little for the poor or others in need.  The thought of making someone’s else day a better day through a simple generous gesture is beyond their comprehension.  Ultimately, they are unable to experience the reciprocity of love because they only take.    I feel many of the Biblical warnings of greed and selfishness address their spiritual deficiencies.

And yet upon the opposite spectrum, while the Christian who only gives truly sees the more spiritual path, they must also learn to occasionally take with joy as well.  If they do not learn to accept or take, then first, how can they ever accept the greatest gift of all, redemption?  Jesus Christ gave us the ultimate gift through his death and we must accept this gift without hesitation if we are to have salvation.

In this reality, love is a reciprocal act.  It is not poached through greed or selfishness but mutual self-giving.  Love is a reciprocal action of mutual giving and receiving.  In this reality, a Christian must not only give, but also be able to receive.  This is critical to understand if one is to understand love and its relational status.

Love is recipocal and involves giving but also receiving for it to be able to function
Love is recipocal and involves giving but also receiving for it to be able to function

Those who tend to the extreme of only giving, fail to experience the love of being accepted, being loved and given something special, but they also fail to allow others to experience the same joy of giving they experience.  Sometimes even the saintly fail in this category.  They are very dismissive to receive from another out of an over religious zeal of unworthiness.  At the other extreme, some may feel the obligation to give and give out of a sense of duty and when that duty is challenged, their pride is hurt.

Jesus taught us the opposite.  He gave completely but when the times came, he permitted others the joy of giving.  We see this clearly when the women at the house cleaned his feet with the most previous oils.  We also see it at his birth, when the Magi brought the three precious gifts.

As Christians, we must have a balanced spiritual life.  We must give as Christ gave, but we must also allow others to experience the joy of giving as well.  This means letting go of possible pride, or false unworthiness and accept gifts with Christian joy.  In doing so, we balance the reciprocity of love and allow others to experience the gift of giving itself.   We must learn to accept gifts, the way we accept Christ’s ultimate gift on the cross with love.  In doing so, we will better be able to share in the reciprocity of love that is both giving and accepting.

Please also review the Christian Counseling Certification Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.