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Grief Counseling Certification Article on Death and Dying

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

They say the only certain things in this life are death and taxes.  Death is a guarantee at the moment of birth and becomes ironically part of living itself.  It plays a key role in our life span in this temporal world.  Yet, it is the most feared and avoided topic despite its central importance to our life itself.  Thanatology attempts to understand the nature of death and dying itself and attempts to explain the science and philosophy of death.  Grief Counseling tries to help us adjust to the process of dying or the death of another.  Together, they can help an individual better discuss, deal and cope with this very natural life event.

Traditionally, death has many characteristics.   Lack of respiration, lack of pulse and heartbeat, zero response to stimuli, lowered body temperature, stiffness of the body and bodily bloating are all signs of death.  The Harvard Criteria lists death as something that leaves the individual unresponsive to stimuli, no movement or breathing and no reflexes.  Furthermore it notes that there is no longer any circulation of blood to the brain and a flat EEG exists.

What constitutes a state of death? Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Death hence has it characteristics and permanence once a certain time period of such lack of activity exists.  While the fear of not being dead and buried may have existed long ago, today’s science clearly delineates the boundaries of alive and dead.   Death though is more than a physical event, but is also for many a spiritual event.  It is an event that leads to a new birth in spiritual beliefs and is more than just merely the end of physical activity.  While spirituality and death may not have empirical evidence to support it, the belief itself is wide held throughout humanity.  It can also be said, while it cannot be empirically proven, life after death, it is also said it cannot be disproven.

The dying process leads to death and is more than a physical journey but also a spiritual and emotional one for the dying as well as their loved ones.  The biggest question to ask is when does dying begin?  Philosophically one can say, dying begins the day we are born, but health studies require a more definitive definition that denotes a direct and acute movement towards death itself.  While one may be dying, sometimes, one may not even know the event is occurring.  This is why recognition of the facts is essential to officially declare one is dying.  The facts need to be communicated and realized for the psychological, emotional and spiritual elements to enter into the equation.  When nothing else can be done to prevent the acute event, one officially realizes they are dying and will die due to a particular thing.

The expression and communication of dying to another is something that healthcare professionals have recently been hoping to improve in regards to delivery of the news.  In the past, the dreaded news has been expressed coldly and sometimes abruptly.   As an event of failure to the medical world, the person was left to process the information without guidance or compassion.  Today, those in Pastoral Thanatology, look to help the dying die with dignity but also understanding and compassion.  Hospice prepares the dying for the ultimate end, looking to reduce pain and prepare one emotionally and spiritually for death.

Physicians and healthcare providers though can better communicate death to their patients.  Sharing smaller facts and gauging responses are key, as well, and not overwhelming the dying and their family at first.  Explanations and time to educate are key, despite the discomfort of such bad news.  Allowing pauses and questions and time to process is key, but also respecting denial.  Being there and giving the time is key. Another important element is not to stretch the truth, but to be completely honest, but in that honesty, again, find the time to listen and not mechanically leave the scene after such heartbreaking news.  Many healthcare professionals are not trained in explaining death and are only trained in the mechanics of what is occurring physically, while dismissing the emotional and mental aspects of death.

Once one is faced with dying and accepts the outcome, certain questions become obvious to the dying.  Certain trajectories manifest to the dying that map out their final days.  The biggest are certainty and time.  How long does one have and what to expect in the final months, days or hours.  Some trajectories are quick, others linger, and others occur unexpectedly.  These aspects can greatly change how one prepares for death.

Death comes for all. How we prepare depends on multiple factors. Please also review AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Program

 

Obviously each trajectory has their benefits and disadvantages.  Preparation in death can allow one to put all business aside, but leaves one to the mental long anguish of knowing the end is coming.  Quick deaths can reduce this anxiety but leave one with very little time to prepare financially, spiritually and emotionally.

The long mental process of accepting death was best laid out by Elisabeth Kubler Ross.  Kubler Ross worked with the dying and found they responded in a five stages to death.  Namely, denial, anger, sadness, bargaining and acceptance.  Each phase while not always ordered, showed the emotional response of most people to the news of death itself.  The news can be so terrifying that one may react in a variety of ways trying to control what one cannot control.  The ultimate end is acceptance because death is guaranteed for all.

Charles Corr also pointed out the reaction to the news of death.  At the epicenter is the physical reality of dying, followed by the psychological reaction, followed by the social reactions and finally the spiritual reactions.  As the wave of the news spreads, the dying story encompasses all aspects of the person’s existence.

Buddhist stages of death are more spiritual.  They see various stages of loss of sensation, to visions, to nothingness itself.  In Christianity, death is seen as the result of sin.  It is a punishment and the severing of soul and body, but it is temporary, and the body one day is restored to the soul.   It is important to understand the spirituality of the individual who is dying and to help them fulfill any incomplete spiritual exercises before death.  This gives comfort to the dying.

How death eventually takes the person is something very intimate and seen by family and healthcare workers.  While it can be painful, it is sometimes very peaceful, as the body surrenders to death.   While many may never have it, it is everyone’s hope to experience a happy and peaceful death surrounded by love.  This is the most anyone can ask for as this dreaded but important part of our life occurs.  One needs to be prepared and think about this event.  It should not be disregarded as morbid, but seen as an important part of life.  The thought of dying well is something we should all smile towards when that day comes.

If you would like to learn more about Grief Counseling and Pastoral Thanatology, then please review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and Pastoral Thanatology Certification.  The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking four year certifications in these disciplines.

Please also review

“Death, Dying and Human Society”by David Kastenbaum

“On Death and Dying” by Elisabeth Kubler Ross

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Miscarriage Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Miscarriages are unseen tragedy to many eyes.  For many, it is swept under the rug never to be spoken again or told to others.  For others, it may be dismissed or devalued in regards to the hierarchy of losses.   Still others may suffer alone, or others may be neglected.  The harsh reality though is that it is a real and scaring loss that must be acknowledged and understood.

Unfortunately, many never find the help they need to deal with this type of loss.  Others are dismissed.  Disenfranchisement occurs because the child was not born and never seen.   Others may lessen the value of the unborn child to an infant.  Downplaying is very detrimental to healing in this regard.  Furthermore, others may shift the grief away and utilize various cliches.  For instance, one may say to the grieving, “well you can try again”, or “better luck next time”.  This type of statement devalues the loss of the child that died and the present pain of the parents.

Sometimes, as well, only the mother will receive the support.  Fathers, siblings, and grandparents may be neglected in their grief of the loss.  It is hence essential to acknowledge the loss and discuss with all connected to the pregnancy.  Secrecy, quiet and downplaying are not the answers.

Losing a child can have numerous consequences.  Following a miscarriage, the woman will undergo physical and hormonal changes, as well as psychological effects.  Loss of concentration, appetite and trouble sleeping can occur.   A feeling of depression and loss can follow with various emotions of sadness, anger and even guilt.  Some women feel an unearned guilt that they did not do enough to prevent the miscarriage.  Others may feel angry at the unfair nature of not being able to carry a pregnancy and have a child.

A miscarriage is a difficult loss in life. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Some families may suffer at different levels.  A family trying to conceive and with no children may grieve differently than a family with many children.  Other miscarriages may be far more painful due to the progression and time of the miscarriage.  Some miscarriages can occur without the woman knowing she was even pregnant, while other miscarriages can occur well farther into the pregnancy and also require medical attention.  Other times, the loss and pain may be correlated with spiritual beliefs regarding life itself.

Again, for a young teen girl, a miscarriage despite the trauma may be a relief.  Although all life is beautiful, the thought of a young motherhood and the responsibilities with it incurred great fear and the miscarriage indirectly freed the young person from such things.

So, as one can see, how the loss is perceived, the surrounding details and the beliefs of the person can all play huge roles in grief factor of a miscarriage as well.  In general though, those parents who are expecting, do not fall into this periphery categories and will suffer to some extent, some type of feeling of loss.   For many, the potential of what could have been can haunt the parents.  Mothers Day or Fathers Day can be vivid reminders of what could have occurred for those hoping to become parents.

It is important not to internalize and keep the loss a secret.  Couples should discuss, and single women should find individuals they can confidently speak to.  Some may require support groups or grief counseling to help process the loss itself.

For some parents, although no funeral is possible, a memory service can sometimes be performed, as well as possibly naming the child.  Those from more religious backgrounds, may feel security knowing their child is in Heaven and looking down upon them.  Others may merely process the loss, learn to understand the meaning of it and move forward looking to become pregnant again.

It is also important for the woman to care for herself after a miscarriage.  Beyond the mental and psychological loss, a woman may need time to rest and allow her body to re-adjust to post pregnancy status.

Ultimately, it is important to realize that miscarriages are a common loss for individuals and couples for the most part receive improper care and counseling.  Miscarriages are sometimes hidden and become a unresolved and disenfranchised grief.  It is important to help others through the pain and loss of miscarriage.  It is important to recognize the loss and give value to the loss.  It is important to find meaning in the miscarriage and to understand one’s life plan and how the miscarriage falls into that plan.

If you would like to learn more about grief itself and the nature of loss, then please review The American Academy of Grief Counseling’s, Grief Counseling Certification Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

Source:

Grief After a Miscarriage by Joanne Barker   WebMD

 

 

Grief Counseling Training Article on Trauma and Depression

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Depression can have an acute cause or no general cause at all but merely set in but there are connections with depression and acute trauma.  Trauma or severe loss or experience can negatively affect a person and cause a severe grief reaction resulting in depression.

Severe trauma can cause depression. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training and see if it meets your academic and professional goals

 

The article, “Trauma and Depression: What to Know” by Stephanie Wright takes a closer look at trauma and depression.  She states,

“Depression can be both a direct and indirect consequence of trauma. However, not all depression is caused by trauma — other factors that cause depression include genetics, environment, and other medical conditions. Facing trauma and depression at once can be overwhelming. However, many people live happy and fulfilled lives with treatment and the support of others.”

To review the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

Grief Counseling Certification Video on Grief Myths

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

There are many misconceptions about grief.   Grief myths distort how people grieve and what to expect when individuals grieve

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional needs.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals.

 

Please also review the video below

Grief Counseling Program Video on Grief Resiliency and Oscillation

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

With stress or grief, it is important to be able to bounce back.  Individuals who have trouble coping with grief or stress have a hard time in life.  Resiliency is the term referred to an individual’s ability to recover from stress and grief.  Oscillation refers to the ups and downs of early grief.  It also plays a role in how one recovers.  The less steep peaks and valleys, the better the stabilization from the loss but this can take time and cannot be rushed

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a grief counselor.

Grief Counseling Training Program Article on Evolution and Sadness

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Surprisingly despite the efforts of Grief Counseling to help individuals restore balance, meaning, and biological, mental and social functioning to life, sadness and even depression has deeper evolutionary and adaptive values.   Depression itself is obviously a pathology and sadness or grief is not.   Sadness though has many benefits, and even in some cases, depression served its purpose for humanity’s ancient ancestors.

Like anger or other emotions that respond to stress to help activate the fight or flight response, sadness also has purposes in helping the body recover as well as helping the body survive the change process of loss.  In addition, sadness has multiple social benefits.  So while, everyone wishes to be happy, sadness is a natural result to change and an important one.   Grief Counselors can help individuals again find osmosis in life, but the temporary stints of sadness that human beings experience are crucial to human existence.  These emotions cannot be dismissed as inherently evil but as necessary emotions in a world that is far from perfect.   The emotions of sadness such should be accepted but monitored properly so they promote the self healing necessary instead of the long term damage of these emotions found in depression or even prolonged grief itself

Sadness, and in some cases depression, served to humanity’s ancient ancestors as something that could increase the change of survival.  Withdraw, lack of energy and lost of interest in activities could keep ancient individuals safe from harm and danger in a prehistoric world.  While processing grief and loss, the individual would be more prone to stay in a safer place, isolated from the dangers of a savage world.  While these symptoms today are far less desirable in the modern world, they still serve a temporary function to allow the body to heal from the distress.  With immune systems lowered, staying home and feeling the grief may be the best answer.

Sadness also affects the mind and emotions in a variety of ways due to various changes in brain chemistry.  Individuals who are sad tend to have sharper memories than when happy.  A negative mood tends to improve attention to detail as opposed to a happier mood which can become less focused on details due to the euphoric state.  Believe it or not, negative emotions can also increase motivation.  When one thinks of sadness, individuals think of unmotivated individuals but this is only initially.  When bad things happen, the mind can also become more motivated to fix situations and make them better.  There is a motivation to leave the unpleasant state.

Sadness has important evolutionary factors for survival. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program

 

Socially, sadness also plays a key role.  Through tears or behaviors of withdraw, it communicates the need for communal help.  The function of sadness communicates to family and friends that something is wrong with an individual.   Honest Signaling Theory emphasizes that sadness communicates sadness to others within the society.   The sign of sadness not only is negative to the sufferer, but also to the family or community.  Bargaining Theory looks at the damage to the society as a whole when someone cannot operate a certain level.  This was true in prehistoric times especially but is also true in the modern world, when a particular family member plays a crucial role to the family’s survival.

In prehistoric times, sadness also could play a role in hierarchal social structure.  If one felt more negative about life, it would induce compliance to the more assertive individuals.  This in turn could protect the totality of the clan or group in allowing the mentally stronger to lead hence promoting survival of the whole.  This is referred to as Rank Theory.  Forming cooperative bonds with others to reduce risk of exclusion from social relationships places a key role here and is emphasized more in Social Risk Hypothesis.  Again, in the prehistoric world, this was vital to survival but in the modern world, plays a detrimental role.

Biologically, the body when it responds to pain withdraws from the pain.  The nerves signal to the brain that something is not right or bad.  Likewise, mental anguish also notifies the mind that something is not right.  A loss of family is detrimental to the structure and existence of all involved.  This type of pain hence creates a natural withdraw from the painful stimuli.  The withdraw can allow the mind time to heal and focus on the issue.  This hypothesis is known as the Psychic Pain Hypothesis.   Of course, only short term withdraw and avoidance is healthy and any long term examples of this can be detrimental.

Another similar theory is the Behavioral Shutdown Model, which emphasis  of risk and reward.  Again, during initial sadness, the risk of activity is higher than the reward, which mentally and emotionally pushes one to avoid.  The body itself becomes more tired due to grief and stress and again this is a self defense mechanism, but only in normal amounts, as opposed to depression and prolonged grief.   Overtime, a learned helplessness can result in which when an animal is placed in a situation outside its control, it adopts a helplessness.  Prehistoric humans through helplessness could find the time and duration to rest to avoid danger, but in today’s modern world, any type of prolonged helplessness can be detrimental.

Another hypothesis is Analytical Rumination.  When grief strikes, an individual’s brain is more focused.  It focuses on the loss, the memories and the incidents surrounding the loss.  When in a negative emotion, it is important to focus on the problem and find ways to make it better.  This type of motivation to correct a wrong coincides with sadness.  However, if in excess, this type of continued obsessive thinking and worrying can be a potential onset to depression.

Regardless of theories above, it is obvious sadness plays a function in life and a positive one if in the right doses.  While Grief Counselors look to help an individual navigate sadness, they do not seek to remove it because it is crucial in the adaptation to the loss.  It must play its role for a healthy outcome.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

 

Sources

Evolutionary Approaches to Depression-Wikipedia

Four Ways Sadness May Be Good For You by Joseph Forgas

The Evolutionary Advantage of Depression by Brian Gabriel

 

 

 

Grief Counseling Courses Video on Grief and Transformation

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief can be very transformative in life.  Unfortunately, it can be a very painful transformation as well.  As part of life, it is something all must endure and learn to allow the changes to help us move forward in life while still cherishing the past.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Courses.  The courses lead to a four year certification in Grief Counseling.  Those in ministry, counseling, social work, mental health, or healthcare can enter into the program and earn the four year certification.

 

 

Please review the video below

Grief Counseling Certification Video on the Loss of a Parent

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The loss of a parent after the loss of a child is considered the most painful loss for individuals.  Losing a parent not only hurts but also can leave an individual feeling left alone or by oneself.  The younger one is the more difficult it is to adjust to the loss itself.  It is important for those who still have their parents to enjoy them everyday

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Eco-Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Ecological Grief is a type of social grief.  It can be more personal but is can also be shared.  The term was first introduced by Aldo Leopold in the 1940s to describe the emotional pain tied to environmental losses.  Glen Albrecht would later refer to it as a  mental distress caused by environmental change.   When individuals lose or perceive an anticipatory loss of something, either in a unique personal way or even a more distant way, a grief and distress can result.

Grief over loss of the environment is referred to as Ecological Grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The environment affects everyone.  Whether the indigenous person directly affected, or the person who lives thousands miles away.  A climate that changes for the worst will eventually affect everyone.  The ripples of the effect do not forever remain isolated but affect the planet as a whole.  This fear and anticipation the type of grief most experience, while unfortunately others are already feeling the direct effects of this type of loss through drought, flooding and extreme weather causing massive displacement.

Social scientists, Ashlee Cunsolo and Neville Ellis both wrote regarding the direct experience of climate change.  Cunsolo dealt with the loss of identity of the northern tribes who live on the ice and find identity with the ice.  With the polar icecaps melting at an alarming rate, their identity and way of life is being stolen from them.  Meanwhile in Australia, Ellis pointed out how farmers for generations are no longer able to grow crops to extreme drought.  They too are losing their identity. Indigenous people are losing their identity but also far worst things, including their homes, way of life but also their lives.   Flooding and extreme weather are causing massive displacements.  These types of grief of total loss create untold sorrow and trauma.

Those more distant from the fire itself are also starting to see small signs of altered weather, but also are in a state of anticipatory grief and fear.  Like those who feared nuclear destruction, the new fear is global warming and its pending doom.  Individuals fear for the future, their children’s future and what earth will be like by the end of the century.

In addition, many individuals are seeing the loss of climates and habitats.  This universal loss to humanity is a great loss.  Many grieve the bleaching of the Great Barrier Reef.  Scientists witness first hand the loss of beautiful eco systems and divers see the horrible damage to the reefs due to global warming.  The loss of beauty itself is a form of loss.  As more beautiful habitats die and more animals go extinct, a piece of beauty dies not only for the current generation but also for future generations.

In dealing with ecological grief, individuals must know they are not alone.  They must share their frustrations, discuss it and find like minded individuals.  Lament the pain together and not only lament but focus on change.  First, focus on what one can control.  Work towards better ecological friendly life styles when applicable.  Recycle, save energy, and try to reduce your carbon footprint.  One can also take action at higher levels by becoming more active in political movements to save the planet.  Finally, find the natural spaces that do exist, or create some of your own via gardening and partake in the beauty of nature.

Future generations will lose the beauty of animals and habitats due to global warming. Grief can push one to action

 

Unfortunately, there are many powers who value the dollar over the environment.   These individuals push a false narrative against global warming.  In addition, there are many individuals who are in denial of the pending problem.  They choose to deny the problem and pretend it does not exist. Unfortunately, many powerful people in government as well as news outlet suffer from denial in their grieving process.

One cannot become caught up in denial and lies, but accept the reality that our planet is in need of serious help.  Our grief for the situation can be a powerful catalyst to action.  Like all social grief, it can lead to social action and change.  By taking control of our grief and by playing our small part, we can grieve together but also change together.

If you would like to learn more about AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification then please review and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professional seeking a four year certification in grief counseling.

 

Sources

“Eco Grief: How to cope with the emotional impacts of climate change” by Aviva Fialkow

“Mourning the Land” by Lea Winerman

Grief Counseling Video on Child Loss

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Loss is terrible but unnatural loss is even more painful.  One type of unnatural loss is the loss of a child.  When a parent dies before a child, it creates a pain so great that many label it the worst loss and pain one can emotionally experience.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Grief Counselor.

 

Please review the video below