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Grief Counseling Training Program Article on Evolution and Sadness

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Surprisingly despite the efforts of Grief Counseling to help individuals restore balance, meaning, and biological, mental and social functioning to life, sadness and even depression has deeper evolutionary and adaptive values.   Depression itself is obviously a pathology and sadness or grief is not.   Sadness though has many benefits, and even in some cases, depression served its purpose for humanity’s ancient ancestors.

Like anger or other emotions that respond to stress to help activate the fight or flight response, sadness also has purposes in helping the body recover as well as helping the body survive the change process of loss.  In addition, sadness has multiple social benefits.  So while, everyone wishes to be happy, sadness is a natural result to change and an important one.   Grief Counselors can help individuals again find osmosis in life, but the temporary stints of sadness that human beings experience are crucial to human existence.  These emotions cannot be dismissed as inherently evil but as necessary emotions in a world that is far from perfect.   The emotions of sadness such should be accepted but monitored properly so they promote the self healing necessary instead of the long term damage of these emotions found in depression or even prolonged grief itself

Sadness, and in some cases depression, served to humanity’s ancient ancestors as something that could increase the change of survival.  Withdraw, lack of energy and lost of interest in activities could keep ancient individuals safe from harm and danger in a prehistoric world.  While processing grief and loss, the individual would be more prone to stay in a safer place, isolated from the dangers of a savage world.  While these symptoms today are far less desirable in the modern world, they still serve a temporary function to allow the body to heal from the distress.  With immune systems lowered, staying home and feeling the grief may be the best answer.

Sadness also affects the mind and emotions in a variety of ways due to various changes in brain chemistry.  Individuals who are sad tend to have sharper memories than when happy.  A negative mood tends to improve attention to detail as opposed to a happier mood which can become less focused on details due to the euphoric state.  Believe it or not, negative emotions can also increase motivation.  When one thinks of sadness, individuals think of unmotivated individuals but this is only initially.  When bad things happen, the mind can also become more motivated to fix situations and make them better.  There is a motivation to leave the unpleasant state.

Sadness has important evolutionary factors for survival. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program

 

Socially, sadness also plays a key role.  Through tears or behaviors of withdraw, it communicates the need for communal help.  The function of sadness communicates to family and friends that something is wrong with an individual.   Honest Signaling Theory emphasizes that sadness communicates sadness to others within the society.   The sign of sadness not only is negative to the sufferer, but also to the family or community.  Bargaining Theory looks at the damage to the society as a whole when someone cannot operate a certain level.  This was true in prehistoric times especially but is also true in the modern world, when a particular family member plays a crucial role to the family’s survival.

In prehistoric times, sadness also could play a role in hierarchal social structure.  If one felt more negative about life, it would induce compliance to the more assertive individuals.  This in turn could protect the totality of the clan or group in allowing the mentally stronger to lead hence promoting survival of the whole.  This is referred to as Rank Theory.  Forming cooperative bonds with others to reduce risk of exclusion from social relationships places a key role here and is emphasized more in Social Risk Hypothesis.  Again, in the prehistoric world, this was vital to survival but in the modern world, plays a detrimental role.

Biologically, the body when it responds to pain withdraws from the pain.  The nerves signal to the brain that something is not right or bad.  Likewise, mental anguish also notifies the mind that something is not right.  A loss of family is detrimental to the structure and existence of all involved.  This type of pain hence creates a natural withdraw from the painful stimuli.  The withdraw can allow the mind time to heal and focus on the issue.  This hypothesis is known as the Psychic Pain Hypothesis.   Of course, only short term withdraw and avoidance is healthy and any long term examples of this can be detrimental.

Another similar theory is the Behavioral Shutdown Model, which emphasis  of risk and reward.  Again, during initial sadness, the risk of activity is higher than the reward, which mentally and emotionally pushes one to avoid.  The body itself becomes more tired due to grief and stress and again this is a self defense mechanism, but only in normal amounts, as opposed to depression and prolonged grief.   Overtime, a learned helplessness can result in which when an animal is placed in a situation outside its control, it adopts a helplessness.  Prehistoric humans through helplessness could find the time and duration to rest to avoid danger, but in today’s modern world, any type of prolonged helplessness can be detrimental.

Another hypothesis is Analytical Rumination.  When grief strikes, an individual’s brain is more focused.  It focuses on the loss, the memories and the incidents surrounding the loss.  When in a negative emotion, it is important to focus on the problem and find ways to make it better.  This type of motivation to correct a wrong coincides with sadness.  However, if in excess, this type of continued obsessive thinking and worrying can be a potential onset to depression.

Regardless of theories above, it is obvious sadness plays a function in life and a positive one if in the right doses.  While Grief Counselors look to help an individual navigate sadness, they do not seek to remove it because it is crucial in the adaptation to the loss.  It must play its role for a healthy outcome.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

 

Sources

Evolutionary Approaches to Depression-Wikipedia

Four Ways Sadness May Be Good For You by Joseph Forgas

The Evolutionary Advantage of Depression by Brian Gabriel

 

 

 

Grief Counseling Courses Video on Grief and Transformation

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief can be very transformative in life.  Unfortunately, it can be a very painful transformation as well.  As part of life, it is something all must endure and learn to allow the changes to help us move forward in life while still cherishing the past.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Courses.  The courses lead to a four year certification in Grief Counseling.  Those in ministry, counseling, social work, mental health, or healthcare can enter into the program and earn the four year certification.

 

 

Please review the video below

Grief Counseling Certification Video on the Loss of a Parent

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The loss of a parent after the loss of a child is considered the most painful loss for individuals.  Losing a parent not only hurts but also can leave an individual feeling left alone or by oneself.  The younger one is the more difficult it is to adjust to the loss itself.  It is important for those who still have their parents to enjoy them everyday

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Eco-Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Ecological Grief is a type of social grief.  It can be more personal but is can also be shared.  The term was first introduced by Aldo Leopold in the 1940s to describe the emotional pain tied to environmental losses.  Glen Albrecht would later refer to it as a  mental distress caused by environmental change.   When individuals lose or perceive an anticipatory loss of something, either in a unique personal way or even a more distant way, a grief and distress can result.

Grief over loss of the environment is referred to as Ecological Grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The environment affects everyone.  Whether the indigenous person directly affected, or the person who lives thousands miles away.  A climate that changes for the worst will eventually affect everyone.  The ripples of the effect do not forever remain isolated but affect the planet as a whole.  This fear and anticipation the type of grief most experience, while unfortunately others are already feeling the direct effects of this type of loss through drought, flooding and extreme weather causing massive displacement.

Social scientists, Ashlee Cunsolo and Neville Ellis both wrote regarding the direct experience of climate change.  Cunsolo dealt with the loss of identity of the northern tribes who live on the ice and find identity with the ice.  With the polar icecaps melting at an alarming rate, their identity and way of life is being stolen from them.  Meanwhile in Australia, Ellis pointed out how farmers for generations are no longer able to grow crops to extreme drought.  They too are losing their identity. Indigenous people are losing their identity but also far worst things, including their homes, way of life but also their lives.   Flooding and extreme weather are causing massive displacements.  These types of grief of total loss create untold sorrow and trauma.

Those more distant from the fire itself are also starting to see small signs of altered weather, but also are in a state of anticipatory grief and fear.  Like those who feared nuclear destruction, the new fear is global warming and its pending doom.  Individuals fear for the future, their children’s future and what earth will be like by the end of the century.

In addition, many individuals are seeing the loss of climates and habitats.  This universal loss to humanity is a great loss.  Many grieve the bleaching of the Great Barrier Reef.  Scientists witness first hand the loss of beautiful eco systems and divers see the horrible damage to the reefs due to global warming.  The loss of beauty itself is a form of loss.  As more beautiful habitats die and more animals go extinct, a piece of beauty dies not only for the current generation but also for future generations.

In dealing with ecological grief, individuals must know they are not alone.  They must share their frustrations, discuss it and find like minded individuals.  Lament the pain together and not only lament but focus on change.  First, focus on what one can control.  Work towards better ecological friendly life styles when applicable.  Recycle, save energy, and try to reduce your carbon footprint.  One can also take action at higher levels by becoming more active in political movements to save the planet.  Finally, find the natural spaces that do exist, or create some of your own via gardening and partake in the beauty of nature.

Future generations will lose the beauty of animals and habitats due to global warming. Grief can push one to action

 

Unfortunately, there are many powers who value the dollar over the environment.   These individuals push a false narrative against global warming.  In addition, there are many individuals who are in denial of the pending problem.  They choose to deny the problem and pretend it does not exist. Unfortunately, many powerful people in government as well as news outlet suffer from denial in their grieving process.

One cannot become caught up in denial and lies, but accept the reality that our planet is in need of serious help.  Our grief for the situation can be a powerful catalyst to action.  Like all social grief, it can lead to social action and change.  By taking control of our grief and by playing our small part, we can grieve together but also change together.

If you would like to learn more about AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification then please review and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professional seeking a four year certification in grief counseling.

 

Sources

“Eco Grief: How to cope with the emotional impacts of climate change” by Aviva Fialkow

“Mourning the Land” by Lea Winerman

Grief Counseling Video on Child Loss

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Loss is terrible but unnatural loss is even more painful.  One type of unnatural loss is the loss of a child.  When a parent dies before a child, it creates a pain so great that many label it the worst loss and pain one can emotionally experience.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Grief Counselor.

 

Please review the video below

Grief Counseling Training Video on Funerals and Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Funerals play a critical role in the grief process.  They allow an individual to mourn publicly, find support and acknowledge the loss.  It is an important step in the process but for the griever it is only the beginning. After the funeral and wake, many leave with condolences, but the individual griever is left with a year long process of adjusting to life without the loved one.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a Grief Counseling Certification.  Also please review AIHCP’s Funeral Associate Program

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Talking about Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Talking about one’s grief is an important process in healing.  Individuals need to share grief and experiences with others to help heal.  When individuals discuss grief they can hear themselves talk and receive feedback in regards to their emotions.

It can sometimes be difficult to talk about grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The article, “How to Talk About Your Grief” by Rachel Maier discusses how to better talk about one’s grief.  She states,

“When you lose a child, it’s hard to express the oceanic depths of your heartache. I know this because I lost my child, too. Over time, I’ve gained perspective and learned how to talk about it. Talking about my loss was like lighting a lantern in a dark cave. It helped me escape the void of despair and begin to heal. Now, I’d like to help you do the same. Here are some tips to try, based on things I’ve learned while navigating how to talk about my loss.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also a review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

Grief Counseling Training Article on Responding to Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counselors are called to respond to grief.  They are trained to listen to others and respond to the grieving process.  Grief Counselors can help guide individuals through this maze of a process and help them find adjustment to the loss.  Society also responds to grief in different ways.

Society responds to grief in many ways. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program

 

The article, “Responding to the Grief of Others” by Grant Brenner looks closer at how grief is understood within society and how to respond.  He states,

 

“Loss becomes more and more common as we get older. The same coping responses that serve us well at one time—disengaging from emotion, focusing on moving forward—may later lead to struggle as those adaptations characteristically pose barriers to self-awareness and connection with others. Healthy grieving requires not only drawing upon personal resources but also receiving appropriate support from those around us. This includes cultural responses to death and dying.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional needs.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

 

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Grief Boundaries

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

In grief we deal with many emotions and its difficult to sometimes discuss it or experience it.  We work through grief at our own pace and own way.  It is because of this, it is important to avoid being bullied in grief and to have our own set of boundaries.  We have discussed Grief Bullies in the past.

Grief bullies are individuals who attempt to impose their style of grieving on an individual.  They also can try to diminish the grief of a person as not important or relevant.  These individuals are an issue in themselves, but being able to stand up for oneself and set boundaries are critical.  Grief boundaries are important in grieving and especially during the Holiday season.  These are the times, when individuals, either grief bullies or good intentioned individuals may push the issue.

Emotional boundaries are important to begin with.  In every part of life, it is critical to set boundaries.  Whether at work, school or with friends, it is important not to allow individuals to push one around.  While it is OK to help others, to be flexible and understanding, it is equally important to have boundaries that prevent individuals from imposing their will or impeding upon one’s limits.  Hence it is important to have boundaries and also important to enforce those boundaries.

Help for grief is good but you can have boundaries in how you express with other people. Ultimately it is up to you. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Boundaries can be enforced without hostility.  They can be laid out calmly but firmly to individuals who test those grounds.  Usually, individuals who unknowingly push a boundary only  need told once, while others may need reminded more than that but it is important to hold firm to boundaries.  Grief is no exception.

What’s Your Grief discussed a variety of ideas on Grief Boundaries in one of their most recent blogs.  Some important information to take from it are as follows.,

In establishing a boundary, be clear, firm, and communicate it.  Do not apologize for it, but be prepared to face questions that you owe no answer for.  In addition, let the individual know of consequences when boundaries are crossed and be prepared to enforce it.  In addition, be prepared to feel the natural discomfort that sometimes comes with standing up for oneself.  Individuals worth keeping in your life, will understand.

In regards to grief, while it is sometimes good to take help, it is OK, if you are not ready for that help and it is OK to decline that help. Let others know, some days you may not feel that great and if you need time alone to respect that.  Grief can make one feel unable to participate in going to an event or hanging with a friend.  In these cases, it is OK to back out especially when you are first dealing with the sting of loss.  Do not allow grief bullies to keep you in or keep you out.

Also feel free to dismiss questions that may seem to soon or intruding.  You are not obligated to answer questions regarding your personal life. For instance, if dating seems too son, feel free to dismiss the question.  In addition to this, one’s boundary should be able to decline advice and just ask one to simply listen.  Sometimes, advice is not ready to be heard or not the advice we need.  It is OK, to tell the well intentioned person, that you do not want advice but just an open ear.  If individuals discuss with you their issues, it is also OK to let them know you are not in a place to help them because you are still dealing with your own grief.

It is OK also to decline to tell someone how a loved one passed.  Sometimes people ask this secondary question.  It is only up to you if you wish to share how a person died.  You can tell them, it is to painful to recall, or you do not wish to relive it, or that the question is too triggering.  You may say that you will talk about it another day, or you may say it is a private matter.  Ultimately you should not disclose what makes you uncomfortable.  You must set the boundary and live by it.

Boundaries in grief are important. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

During the Holidays, many of these things may occur.  Family and friends will want to see you, or expect certain traditions or visits to be upheld.  It is especially important to let family and friends know if you want to be alone or if you do not wish to celebrate that particular tradition.  Maybe you are not ready and that is OK.  Again it is important not to succumb to grief bullying.

Ultimately, you may make individuals uncomfortable when setting boundaries and that is OK.  You need to let them know about your feelings and remind them you are moving at your own pace and speed in your grief.

If you would like to learn how to help others deal with grief, please review the American Academy of Grief Counseling’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.

 

Related Source and Content

What’s Your Grief   “Setting Your Grief Boundaries”–please click here to review

 

Grief Counseling Certification Article on Divorce and Loss

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Divorce is a major disruption in life and a life altering change.  It brings about not only romantic loss but multiple secondary losses.  Adjusting to these losses and finding a new routine and life narrative can be very difficult for many people.

Going through a divorce is a difficult transition. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

The article, “Working Through Grief After Divorce” by Melissa Porrey looks at how difficult the transition can be for many facing the grief of divorce.  She states,

“When going through a divorce or ending a significant intimate relationship, grieving allows us to work through the thoughts and feelings that are brought on by the many different losses that come with it. Whether it’s working through the physical loss of another person being absent from the home, a loss of security, loss of friendship or companionship, or even financial loss, each needs to be acknowledged and grieved.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling