In life there are a few constants, unfortunately, death and loss is one. While one plans one’s day and deals with stress and daily plans, no one ever really thinks about a death that may occur. Life can change quickly at a moments notice and one discovers soon how fragile life truly is. What was the biggest issue of the week suddenly becomes minute and small compared to a loss or the death of a loved one. It puts one into a proper proportion of what matters most. Some individuals should learn from this from others and understand how important the lives they share with others matters.
The article, “You Can Plan For Everything, But Grief” by Tracey Wallace discusses various lives that were forever changed by loss. She states,
“After months of intense grief, a year later Phil now loves going home to their house. He’s even started dating a bit again. And while the grief has become more manageable, he still learns new insights every day about just how special he and Alan’s connection really was.”
It is truly terrifying to see how lives can change through loss but it is also amazing to see how people fight back and cope and continue their lives despite the loss. One’s life will never be the same but it does not mean one’s life is over. It is altered but never over.
The holidays always play a big part in our lives. Some happy, some not so happy. Stress, loss and grief can unfortunately play a larger part than joy and peace. If grieving a loss, it is natural to experience the holidays differently than before. Individuals vary in how they will respond to the loss. Some may seek to keep tradition while others may need time to return to past traditions. There really is no true answer.
Instead, one must navigate the holidays as best one’s ability. Grief will be present if the first holiday without a loved one but over time, it does improve. The loss never vanishes, but other ways to celebrate or even remember become possible. Others may learn how to better handle stress through a few tips.
The article, “Navigating the Holidays with Grief” by Laura Wade looks at how one can better cope with grief during the holidays. She states,
“It takes five to eight years to move through the emotions of a significant loss,” Boyd shares. “Holidays compound the feelings of loss since it is a time of connection and family. It is also a reminder the loved one is not there. Holidays are already an emotional time, especially if being together and focused on family was important to your loved one.”
Holidays should be taken gently and easily during the first years of loss. Only time can ease the sharp pain of loss. It is also important to remember friends and family during these times who may be grieving a loss. Sometimes a simply hello can mean the world to an individual who is still grieving a significant loss during the holidays.
If you would like to learn more about grief counseling or would like to become a certified grief counselor, then please review our Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
Grief not only affects our brain and mind but also affects our body. Grief overtime can cause physical conditions and increase stress induced diseases. This is why it is so important to deal with grief effectively to prevent long term complications.
The article, “9 Physical Symptoms Of Grief You Should Know” by JR Thorpe states,
“Grief can be a thoroughly flattening experience. You don’t feel like getting out of bed, you cry all the time, and you can’t foresee a time when you’ll feel better. However, while the psychological effects of grief can be devastating, the physical symptoms of grief can be just as powerful, and you may not be prepared for them.”
Miscarriage is loss of a child. While legal status may not view it, the human heart clearly understands it. The child loss during pregnancy while never met is still present. Losing the child is losing a future. For some couples it can even more agonizing if they are trying to bring a child into the world.
There are many myths about miscarriage and how it affects the couple. The article, “The 3 Most Destructive Myths about Miscarriage” by Marilyn Mendoza looks at these these myths and addresses why miscarriage is indeed a traumatic loss for parents. The article states,
“The death of a child can be devastating, regardless of their age. What many do not understand, however, is that losing a child before birth can be equally devastating.”
Grief is an altering experience. It can transform us. While it can hurt us short term, it also helps us grow through life. Grief may live scars but it also makes us stronger.
The article, “Finding Empowerment Through Grief” by Carol Lawrence states,
“Grief is one of the most universal experiences that we can go through as human beings. Regardless of how each of us learns to cope with the loss of a loved one, one thing is certain – the way we reflect on loss can teach us valuable lessons that we carry with us for the rest of our lives.”
Good article on the tragedy of losing a child and the impacts it can have on a marriage after the loss
The article, Tragically, I know the impact losing a child has on your marriage all too well, by Ben Pullen states
“Shortly after my eleven year old son, Silas, died from a terminal brain tumour, I remember a well-meaning friend buying me a pint in the pub and suggesting that I’d be lucky if my marriage survived, because according to a common statistic, 70% of couples split up after the death of their child*.”
Losing a child is devastating at any age. It can ruin lives and also a marriage as both overcome the grief in their own way. Sometimes it can become toxic. This article looks at the troubles that may emerge and how to keep the union together.
The article,” Keeping A Marriage Alive After The Loss Of A Child “, states
“The most challenged relationship surrounding the death of a child is the union of the two people that created that child.
No one is prepared for the assault the loss of a child can have on a family, and most of all on a marriage.”