This video reviews the types of perinatal loss that a woman or a couple can experience. These range from early miscarriage to later trimester losses, as well as stillbirth. This type of loss is very difficult and has multiple layers and secondary losses associated with it. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program as well as its Perinatal Grief and Loss specialty certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
grief counseling program
Autism and Grief in Children Video Blog
Autism manifests grief in different ways. With so much diversity within the spectrum, it is important for Grief Counselors and other caregivers to understand how Autistic children grieve and respond to loss. This video presents a detailed response to helping autistic children with loss and grief
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program as well as its Grief Diversity Counseling program
The Grief of Death of a Friend or the Ending of a Friendship and How to Adjust
I. Introduction
The experience of losing a friend, particularly through tragic circumstances such as suicide, presents profound emotional challenges that extend beyond mere sadness. Indeed, this type of loss can alter ones perception of reality, evoking feelings of guilt, confusion, and deep sorrow. In adolescents, who may lack the coping mechanisms required to navigate such complex emotions, the impact can be devastating ((Pfutner et al., 2013)). The ripple effect of a friends death often encompasses not only close peers but also a wider network of individuals who may never have directly interacted with the deceased yet are profoundly affected by their absence. Understanding the intensity of grief is crucial, as many survivors face a lifetime of adjusting to the new normal of life without their friend ((Sahagian et al., 2017)). Thus, exploring the multifaceted dimensions of this grief is essential for developing effective strategies to support those left behind in the wake of tragedy.
Losing a friend to suicide, death, or sudden loss, is more than just sometimes death, it can also be due to an end of a friendship. This type of loss can also be equally painful since friendships that were once considered permanent or forever suddenly evaporate into nothing. Some friendships are meant for a short time in life, they meet a need and then fade, while others last a longer time for a great period and unfortunately fade as one ages or changes. In other cases, long term friendships that break off can especially be painful.
Whether a friendship is lost via death or broken through disagreement, the pain and grief can take time to adjust. They are both equally painful but sometimes evoke different emotions and different types of adjustment.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program. Click here
A. Definition of grief and its emotional impact
Grief can be defined as the profound emotional response to loss, particularly the loss of a loved one, which encompasses a range of feelings including sadness, anger, and confusion. The emotional impact of grief is not only encapsulated in individual sorrow but also affects interpersonal relationships and social dynamics. Individuals mourning the loss of a friend often experience a tumultuous mental landscape, where memories and longing can create feelings of isolation, akin to the lonely islands described by parents grieving the loss of an adult child to a drug overdose, highlighting the emotional disconnection that often accompanies such profound loss (Brun D et al., 2019). Furthermore, the psychological repercussions can manifest in various ways, impacting daily functioning and overall well-being, suggesting a need for supportive networks, similar to those identified in studies of resilience among young adults who have witnessed the struggles of loved ones with cancer (Menz et al., 2012). Understanding these emotional complexities is essential for effective coping strategies in the grieving process.
B. Importance of friendship in personal development
Friendship plays a crucial role in personal development, offering emotional support, fostering resilience, and promoting self-discovery. The significance of these interpersonal relationships becomes particularly pronounced in the context of grief, where the loss of a friend may leave individuals feeling isolated and bereft of their emotional anchors. Through shared experiences and mutual understanding, friendships provide individuals with the strength to navigate lifes challenges. When faced with the grief of losing a friend, individuals often confront complex feelings of loneliness and exclusion, as noted in the research exploring bereavement among older women who have lost same-sex partners, where themes of isolation and the need for supportive connections emerge (Armitage et al., 2016). Moreover, when adapting to loss, the role of friendships accentuates the necessity for a support system, highlighting the emotional void that accompanies bereavement and the ongoing journey toward healing and personal growth (Brun D et al., 2019).
C. Overview of the essay’s focus on coping with loss
Coping with the loss of a friend is a deeply personal journey that necessitates a multifaceted approach to healing. The essay explores various strategies individuals might adopt in dealing with the intense grief associated with such losses. Emotional expression, social support, and the cultivation of resilience are underscored as vital components in the recovery process. Notably, prolonged grief disorder (PGD) becomes a critical focus, highlighting that for some, symptoms may persist long after the loss, as evidenced by findings that indicate a significant percentage of caregivers experience enduring PGD three years post-bereavement (Bell et al., 2019). Additionally, reflecting on the experiences of those affected by a loved ones battle with cancer adds another layer to understanding this grief, revealing how witnessing the struggle can foster resilience among survivors (Menz et al., 2012). Collectively, these insights aim to illuminate both the challenges and pathways toward adjustment in the wake of loss.
II. Understanding the Grief Process
Navigating the grief process after losing a friend involves a profound confrontation with complex emotions, often defined by feelings of sadness, anger, and confusion. Understanding how grief uniquely manifests is crucial for adequate coping and adjustment. Notably, the grief experienced from the loss of a friend can mirror the sorrow faced by parents grieving the death of a child, as seen in the findings of a study utilizing the Kawa model to outline the emotional turbulence involved in such experiences (Brun D et al., 2019). Moreover, educators and caregivers play a pivotal role in shaping the discourse surrounding loss, particularly for children. Recent research indicates that while teachers may feel comfortable discussing death with students, they often lack confidence in providing the necessary resources and support for grieving students (Higdon et al., 2006). This gap highlights the importance of fostering environments that encourage open conversations about grief, ultimately facilitating healthier coping mechanisms.
A. Stages of grief and their significance
Understanding the stages of grief is essential for navigating the emotional landscape following the loss of a friend. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross delineates five stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—that many individuals experience as they process their grief. Each stage serves a significant purpose, allowing mourners to confront and integrate their feelings progressively. For instance, denial may offer a temporary reprieve from the overwhelming emotions associated with loss, while anger can channel frustration into a connection with the deceaseds memory. As highlighted in the literature on prolonged grief disorder, some individuals may experience enduring symptoms that necessitate targeted support and intervention (Bell et al., 2019). Furthermore, the unique struggles faced by grieving parents illustrate the profound impact of loss on ones ability to engage with daily life, emphasizing the diverse experiences of grief across different relationships (Brun D et al., 2019). Recognizing these stages affirms the individuality of grief, facilitating a more compassionate understanding among peers.
B. Emotional responses to losing a friend
The emotional responses to losing a friend are often complex and multifaceted, reflecting a deep personal and communal sorrow. When faced with such loss, individuals may encounter an overwhelming sense of grief, which can lead to feelings of isolation, confusion, and anger. The phenomenon of double loss, as discussed in research, highlights how individuals not only mourn their friend but also grieve the reactions of others who may avoid or inadequately respond to their pain (Bienashski et al., 2011). This social dynamic complicates the grieving process, often leaving individuals feeling unsupported during a critical time of emotional turmoil. Furthermore, as noted in literature, grief is not a linear experience and can be exacerbated by societal taboos surrounding death, making honest expressions of sorrow even more challenging (Willander et al., 2018). Understanding these emotional responses is essential for developing coping strategies and facilitating supportive environments for those in mourning.
It is also important not to let individuals disenfranchise the loss of a friend. Just because a friend who may have passed away, is not blood or family, does not mean the bond was as powerful. Bonds with friends can be as powerful as bonds with family and in many cases stronger. So never allow others to downgrade the loss or pain of losing a friend to death.
A loss of a friend via death or ending of a friendship can leave one blank and lost. The phone call one makes when distress strikes is no longer there. The anger, or frustration or even sadness of that void can be hurtful.
Sometimes it is not about death. Instead a friend may betray or go a direction one cannot follow. One can definitely feel angry and hurt about this but sometimes it is best for some friendships to fade for the better good despite the pain. Still, these emotions need to be felt, analyzed and understood before any cognitive reframing of the situation can be applied
One can also feel different emotions of guilt, if the friend passed and not being there, or guilt if a friendship ended. Whether guilt, anger, or extreme sadness exist in any type of loss of a friend, via death, or end of friendship, it is important to express these feelings and not let them rot within the soul.
C. The role of memories in the grieving process
Memories play a crucial role in the grieving process, serving as both a source of comfort and a trigger for intense sorrow. When someone loses a friend, the memories shared with that person can evoke a complex emotional landscape, reminding the griever of joyful moments while also accentuating their absence. This paradox highlights the phenomenon of double loss, where not only does the individual grieve the loss of their friend, but they also grapple with the societal reactions to their grief, which can often be dismissive or awkward ((Bienashski et al., 2011)). Furthermore, understanding that grief manifests differently across various stages of life underscores the complexity of how memories impact the grieving experience. For children and adolescents, the comprehension of loss and memory can be particularly challenging, leading to varied expressions of grief ((Willander et al., 2018)). Ultimately, memories become critical in navigating the difficult journey of adjustment, facilitating both remembrance and healing.
III. Coping Mechanisms for Grief
Navigating the complexities of grief after losing a friend necessitates the implementation of effective coping mechanisms, as different strategies can significantly impact an individual’s adjustment to the loss. Engaging in open conversations about feelings can foster emotional processing, while seeking social support from friends and family allows for shared experiences, mitigating feelings of isolation. Furthermore, creative outlets such as journaling or art can serve as therapeutic tools, enabling individuals to express their emotions visually or verbally. Particularly in the context of assisting youth, it is essential to adopt age-appropriate strategies that resonate with their developmental stage, as children and adolescents may integrate loss differently than adults, potentially leading to greater risks for depressive symptoms and anxiety (Hamilton et al., 2015). Moreover, understanding the “double loss” phenomenon can help mitigate the effects of societal reactions to grief, where individuals may face additional emotional challenges stemming from others’ discomfort with their mourning (Bienashski et al., 2011).
A. Healthy ways to express emotions
Navigating the emotional landscape of grief requires healthy strategies for expression, particularly in the wake of losing a friend. Engaging in creative outlets, such as writing, art, or music, can provide significant relief by transforming difficult emotions into tangible forms. Additionally, the implementation of structured support systems, such as counseling or support groups, has been shown to effectively assist individuals, especially children and adolescents, in processing their grief. As noted by experts, bereaved youth are at heightened risk for various emotional challenges, which necessitates the use of age-appropriate interventions to promote healthy coping mechanisms (Hamilton et al., 2015). Moreover, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has emerged as a key approach in fostering rational emotional responses to grief, helping individuals distinguish between adaptive and maladaptive grief processes (Malkinson R, 2010). Therefore, integrating these practices can facilitate a healthier adjustment to loss and contribute to emotional resilience.
If a friendship ends, it is important to express anger if one feels treated unfairly or upset that a friend would end something. Expressing emotions is key to healing and moving forward after a broken friendship
B. The importance of support systems
When dealing with the deep sadness that comes from losing a friend, having strong support around you is really important for feeling better. Friends from work, family, and other people you know can really help you show your feelings and give you help when things are tough. Sometimes, people who are grieving might feel alone because others don’t know how to deal with their sadness; this shows why it’s so important to be kind and understanding (Bienashski et al., 2011). Also, studies with parents who are grieving have found that staying connected with close and distant family and friends can really help with feeling lonely and hopeless (Brun D et al., 2019). These supportive relationships not only help you bounce back but also encourage you to find ways to cope that make you feel better emotionally. So, it’s clear that having a good network of support can be a big help when you’re going through the difficult experience of grief.
C. Engaging in activities that honor the friend’s memory
Finding ways to remember a friend can really help with dealing with the sadness and starting to feel better after they’re gone. These things could be anything from making a special memorial to doing good things that were important to them. Doing these acts helps people share their sadness and gives everyone a place to remember together, which can make the loneliness of grief feel less intense. Studies have shown that memorials and remembering events are key for people to grieve individually and as a group (Gonzalez et al., 2017). It’s also worth noting the idea of a “double loss” can appear, focusing on how friends and family see and react to one another’s grief, pushing people to pull away instead of offer support (Bienashski et al., 2011). People can make something that lasts and helps them get used to things as they are now, while still celebrating their friend’s life, by actively taking part in activities that honor their memory.
In cases of friendships that end, it is far more difficult to honor a friends memory. One can think back to the good times, but usually anger and resentment may exist due to the breaking off of the friendship. Much like divorce, one needs to find the role the friend played in the person’s life and the over purpose the friend played in one’s life. Was the person in one’s life for a reason or a season? Again, many friendships are short term, others are long term. Ultimately it depends on the theme of the friendship.
IV. Adjusting to Life After Loss
The experience of readjusting after losing a friend? It’s deep. It’s often a really rocky road loaded with tough emotional hurdles. Right away, you might be swamped with grief—it can bring on confusion and a sense that you’ve lost yourself a bit, you know? Research even suggests that people going through major cognitive shifts, maybe due to health stuff, might feel an even stronger loss of who they are, which just makes grieving harder (Brittain et al., 2018). And let’s not forget the teens; they often have a particularly hard time when someone dies. Studies show that they might grapple with feeling down or really anxious, which makes dealing with the loss that much more difficult (Hamilton et al., 2015). So, coming up with ways to grieve that make sense for their age is so important. This can empower them to discover purpose and adjust to the way things are now. Ultimately, bolstering supportive communities and having intervention strategies available could substantially help folks adjust in the wake of such a tough loss.
If the friendship ended, one needs to understand the purpose of the friendship and the role the friend played in one’s life. Was it a reason or a season? What role did the friend play and what were the common themes enjoyed. Sometimes, the commonalities are hard to find in another person and one will need to learn to adjust to life without sharing those commonalities. Others may need to re-analyze the past friendship and see what was good but also what may have been toxic. Sometimes, friendships linger and die because people change or develop beyond certain things. Many times childhood friendships fade in adulthood and this can be difficult to accept, or in other cases, friendships become unequally yoked and unhealthy for one party. In these cases, adjustment needs to not only mourn but also understand what is best.
Moving forward from a broken friendship can be difficult but sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes people go down different paths or change, or needs alter, and like so many friendships, not all are meant to last forever. Understanding this and cherishing the bonds that one does have with others is key.
A. Redefining personal identity without the friend
Losing a close friend can really shake you up, making you rethink who you are, especially with that empty space they leave behind. Grief can make things even trickier, like a roadblock and a springboard all in one, when it comes to figuring yourself out. For a lot of people, trying to find themselves again, without that friend, can actually lead to some positive changes, like we’ve seen in tough situations, where loss ends up becoming a way to find meaning and come to terms with things (McCormack et al., 2015). People who go through a big loss might start seeing their beliefs, what they care about, and their place in the world differently, which can build them up and make them more understanding (Janzen et al., 2013). So, while it’s definitely hard to get by without a friend you care about, it can also be a chance to kind of start over, and rewrite your own story.
Sometimes when friendships end, not due to death, individuals need to redefine their own identity. How was the identify of the individual affected in the friendship? Was it healthy? Some friendships are healthy and end, while others are not. It is important to understand that while many things may have been shared and enjoyed, the identity of oneself supersedes any friendship.
B. Establishing new routines and social connections
When you’re dealing with the loss of a friend, getting into new routines and finding new people to connect with can really help you get through the tough times. When you do things that are organized, it can help you show your feelings and give you a sense of why you’re here. It lets you change your daily life in a way that means something to you. Like, joining support groups or going to events can help you meet people who understand what you’re going through, and that can make you feel less alone. This makes sense when you consider that family involvement is important, where parents have siblings participate in creating memories around loss, allowing for a shared understanding of grief within the family unit (Avelin et al., 2013). Plus, making new friends can give you the support you need to deal with your grief, especially if it’s the kind that other people don’t really get (McAdams-Ducy et al., 2015).
C. Seeking professional help when necessary
The emotional aftermath of grief, especially after a friend’s passing, can be intensely disorienting, potentially requiring professional guidance. Therapy offers a vital outlet to work through feelings, question any self-recrimination, and relate with others navigating similar situations. Studies suggest (McConnell et al., 2023) that those who’ve lost a friend to suicide, experiencing grief’s challenges akin to family members, gain substantially from both individual and group therapy. Beyond providing a space for emotional examination, therapeutic intervention also furnishes valuable grief-related information. Moreover, tackling the often-present stigma connected to grieving a friend might embolden survivors to seek support they might have initially been reluctant to find (McConnell et al., 2023). Since emotional distress can complicate the grieving journey, consulting mental health professionals represents a meaningful step toward healthy adaptation following such a significant bereavement.
V. Conclusion
Grief, especially when a friend passes, is really tough and needs a delicate understanding of feelings and how we interact with others. It often stirs up a complicated mix of sadness and anger, which affects how well someone can deal with the loss and stay connected to people. Like studies show about how parents see conflict, we all understand the actions and effects of loss differently (DeBoard-Lucas et al., 2011). It gets even more complex when you look at specific situations, like when parents grieve for an adult child. This really shows how important it is to have support systems that are designed for different emotional situations and life roles (Brun D et al., 2019). Generally speaking, dealing with the complexities of grief means being caring and well-informed, and creating spaces that encourage healing and getting used to life after a big loss.
Whether we lose a friend to death, or an ended friendship, it is painful. They are different types of pain with different types of emotion but they all share a common theme of loss of something that was special. It is important to grieve that loss.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
A. Recap of the grieving process and coping strategies
Grief, that intricate emotional path, is one we tread after losing a friend; it often involves stages such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, eventually, acceptance. However, each person’s experience with grief is quite unique, suggesting that coping strategies should be tailored to aid healing. Acknowledging one’s emotions is key, as is the importance of expressing grief—whether that’s talking with friends or journaling about what you are going through. Research also suggests that having supportive friends and family can ease the feeling of isolation and build emotional strength (Hamilton et al., 2015). Things like mindfulness and establishing a routine may also help in coping and finding a new sense of normalcy (Avelin et al., 2013). The important thing to keep in mind is that grief isn’t a straight line, allowing for adaptation and finding comfort in how you experience loss.
B. The importance of allowing oneself to grieve
Dealing with the loss of a friend, it’s really vital to let yourself grieve—something we sometimes forget. Grief isn’t just feeling sad; it’s key to accepting what happened and working through all those complicated emotions. Letting those feelings come up helps prevent pushing them down, which can cause problems later on. Studies show that when teachers and people who care for others talk openly about death and grief, it makes it easier for people to grieve in a healthy way, like when schools support students who are grieving (Higdon et al., 2006). Plus, realizing how many different emotions you might feel, like guilt or responsibility, can help you find the right kind of support. This, in turn, makes it easier to get through the grieving process and get used to things being different (Sahagian et al., 2017).
C. Encouragement to embrace healing and moving forward
Navigating the intricate path of grief after losing a friend makes embracing healing a vital step toward moving forward. Acknowledging grief as a complex experience underscores the need to understand our emotions, often felt in stages like denial, anger, and acceptance, similar to the Kübler-Ross Model (Willander et al., 2018). This understanding both normalizes grief and empowers active healing. By blending personal stories with insights, individuals build resilience and learn better coping skills, lighting the way to renewed hope. Grief divided into stages – sadness, then improvement, and finally hope – suggests optimism, urging those grieving to find joy even in heartbreak (Maggi et al., 2022). After all, embracing healing honors lost friends, while fostering personal growth as we grieve.
Additional Blogs
Please also review AIHCP’s blog on hypnosis and the subconscious mind. Click here
Additional Resources
Cassada, R. (2017). “Coping with the Death of a Friend”. Psychology Today. Access here
Raypole, C. (2020). “How to Cope When You Lose a Best Friend”. Healthline. Access here
Degges-White, S. (2023). “10 Tips for Healing From a Broken Friendship” Psychology Today. Access here
Schneider, G. (2021). “Coping with the Loss of a Friendship”. Psychology Today. Access here
EMDR Helps Grief and Trauma
I. Introduction
Grief and trauma can really throw a person’s mind and feelings off balance, often making it necessary to try treatments that actually help. EMDR—short for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing—has been getting a lot of attention as a way to work through those painful memories; its fresh method tends to break down distress and, over time, lessen the symptoms while helping everyday functioning. This approach, which many consider both novel and practical, reworks upsetting recollections in a way that leads, in most cases, to steady relief. Various studies point out that solid mental health support is urgently needed, especially in environments where vulnerable groups are hit hardest by trauma (Bangpan M et al., 2019). Plus, the ongoing weight of trauma-related issues—like in cases of posttraumatic stress disorder—only adds fuel to the demand for treatments that everyone can access; current research into options such as MDMA-assisted psychotherapy backs this need (Michael C Mithoefer et al., 2019). In this essay, I’ll take a closer look at how EMDR might be a key tool in easing grief and trauma, ultimately building up resilience and nudging recovery along.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification. Licensed therapists can utilize EMDR with grief counseling and find great benefits for the clients. Please bear in mind, non licensed grief counselors are not able to utilize this type of therapy to treat trauma. Please click here to learn more about AIHCP’s Grief Counseling program
A. Definition of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
The concept of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach specifically designed to alleviate distress linked to traumatic memories that often persist in the mind, leading to ongoing emotional turmoil. Rooted in the understanding of how trauma can fundamentally alter cognitive and emotional processing, EMDR employs bilateral stimulation—often through guided eye movements—as a means to facilitate the reprocessing of these distressing memories and emotions. By engaging in this process, individuals can access and integrate traumatic experiences, thereby reducing the symptoms associated with PTSD and other trauma-related disorders, which can severely impair one’s day-to-day functioning. Research indicates that EMDR is effective in enabling clients to reframe their emotional responses and the negative symbols linked to traumatic events, as highlighted by the integration of modalities like play therapy, which allows clients to express their emotional experiences non-verbally during treatment (Odden et al., 2019). Furthermore, somatic experience techniques, which resonate with EMDR principles, emphasize the connection between mind and body, fostering a holistic recovery from trauma by acknowledging how physical sensations can carry emotional significance (Schlief et al., 2023). This multifaceted approach underlines the versatility and efficacy of EMDR, revealing its capacity to promote deep healing and transformation in clients. By addressing the complex interplay between cognition, emotion, and the body, EMDR provides a comprehensive framework that empowers individuals to reclaim their lives after the devastating impact of trauma. Through this transformative process, individuals often experience an enhanced sense of agency and well-being.
One pivotal aspect of EMDR is how it understands the storage of memories. EMDR relies on the Adaptive Information Processing as a way to understand trauma. Similar to the concepts associated with PTSD and the inability of certain traumas to properly store in the brain, AIP also understands how trauma does not allow the brain to smoothly collect information and instead can cause a disrupt in storing memories. Francine Shapiro who first coined the term, then looked to better understand how rapid eye movement could de-sensitize the brain to acute and traumatic movements.
B. Overview of grief and trauma as psychological issues
Grief and trauma often mix together and hit both people and communities hard. Losing someone close stirs up an emotional storm that can really throw everyday life off balance—even though, generally speaking, it’s something everyone faces. The messy side of grief, especially when it sticks around or gets even more complicated, tends to upset the usual ways we classify psychological issues; some recent meta-analyses on treatment effectiveness have hinted at these gaps (Morozow et al., 2014). A sudden or even violent loss usually ups the chances of running into long-term problems like persistent complex bereavement disorder (PCBD), depression, or posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Boelen et al., 2020). Given these challenges, there’s a clear need for treatments that are just right for the situation; for instance, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is sometimes turned to as a way to help people start feeling a bit better and work through their grief and trauma.
C. Importance of addressing grief and trauma in mental health
Grief and trauma lie right at the heart of mental health issues; people dealing with these struggles can find their emotional and mental balance thrown off quite badly. Some studies suggest that methods like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing—EMDR, as it’s often called—can slowly loosen the grip of painful memories, easing symptoms of both PTSD and that lingering complicated grief. The way EMDR kinda works is by dulling the sting of those raw memories, helping folks get a firmer handle on their feelings and build up a bit more inner strength along the way. There’s also a growing trend of mixing in body-based therapies, like Dance/Movement Therapy, with EMDR – a combo that seems to nurture stronger bonds between client and therapist while creating a safe space to work through trauma ((Woods et al., 2024)). This well-rounded approach not only digs into the emotional wounds but also seems to tweak how the brain processes fear and manages emotions by engaging key neural pathways ((Boccia et al., 2015)). In the end, if we truly want mental health care that makes a difference, then giving grief and trauma the focused attention they deserve is absolutely essential.
II. Understanding EMDR
Emerging as a prominent therapeutic approach, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) plays a critical role in addressing grief and trauma with remarkable effectiveness. This innovative technique not only aids individuals in processing distressing memories linked to painful experiences but also integrates emotional, cognitive, and physical responses in a harmonious manner. This comprehensive approach makes EMDR particularly effective for those grappling with complicated grief, a condition often marked by intense and prolonged emotional suffering. Research reveals that EMDR can significantly decrease symptoms associated with anxiety, depression, and grief, suggesting its efficacy in supporting emotional resilience in affected individuals, allowing them to navigate through their feelings more adeptly. Furthermore, the possibility of integrating EMDR with body-based therapies, such as Dance/movement therapy (DMT), enhances the therapeutic alliance, creating a safe and nurturing environment for individuals to explore their emotions. This integration not only fosters a greater sense of safety during treatment but also addresses the somatic aspects of emotional healing (Woods et al., 2024). Despite the complexities associated with diagnosing complicated grief, EMDR stands out as a viable intervention that can address these numerous challenges, particularly when traditional methods lack the necessary clarity and consistency (Morozow et al., 2014). Through understanding the principles and mechanisms of EMDR, practitioners can better equip themselves to assist clients confronting the multifaceted nature of grief and trauma. Thus, understanding EMDR is essential in the broader landscape of grief and trauma therapy, as it offers vital insights and strategies that can lead to profound healing experiences for those in need. Again, it is important to relate how the brain stores trauma and how EMDR helps the brain properly identify the trauma and store it properly.
EMDR itself has a series of phases each session. The first phase is history taking of the patient and event and also assessment if the memory fits criteria for EMDR. The second phase involves preparation for the client and any questions. The third phase involves assessment where a series of affective and cognitive scales of thinking and feeling are rated based on the past trauma. The fourth phase involves desensitization to the event, followed by the fifth phase of installation which presents a more positive feeling or re-interpretation of the event. Following this, the therapist, helps the client conduct a body scan of all physical reactions to the event and memory. If somatic distress is identified, the therapist helps the client work through that distress and find closure. Closure itself is the next step and involves discussing the memory and if the memory did is not resolved, safety steps are given until the next session. Finally, phase eight reviews and re-evaluated the feelings at the start of the session and how one feels afterwards.
A. Historical background and development of EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has a pretty interesting backstory – one that many see as a game-changer in dealing with trauma. Back in the late 1980s, Francine Shapiro noticed something odd; she found that simple eye movements could ease the emotional weight of painful memories. This wasn’t your typical cognitive-behavioral approach—rather, it wedded basic thinking processes with balanced stimulation, resulting in outcomes that often surprised folks. You can spot this idea recurring in trauma treatment guides, which tend to point out that personal trauma is closely tied to how modern society shapes our sense of self (especially when experiences are filtered through systems like managed care and common cognitive views) (Lord et al., 2014). As research generally backdropped these early findings, the use of EMDR slowly morphed to tackle trauma’s many layers, emphasizing—if you will—the need for a more culturally aware and personal understanding of every individual’s experience (St. John et al., 2016).
B. Mechanism of action: How EMDR works
The mechanism of action underlying Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is both complex and multifaceted, involving various neural pathways that contribute to its efficacy. At its core, EMDR appears to facilitate the processing of traumatic memories by employing a method known as bilateral stimulation, which is thought to stimulate the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC). This specific brain region plays a crucial role in fear conditioning and the regulation of emotions, making it an integral part of the therapeutic process. Research has consistently shown that individuals diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) exhibit notable alterations in the activity of the ACC, suggesting that EMDR not only helps to diminish the symptoms associated with these traumatic experiences but also fosters neuroplastic changes within this vital area of the brain (Boccia et al., 2015). Furthermore, this therapeutic approach has the potential to enhance the process of memory reconsolidation. By doing so, EMDR allows clients to reframe their traumatic experiences and seamlessly integrate them into a more adaptive and healthy narrative, which can lead to lasting emotional relief. Although additional studies are warranted to fully understand the underlying mechanisms, preliminary findings provide compelling evidence that EMDR can significantly improve treatment outcomes for individuals suffering from PTSD. This is particularly notable among vulnerable populations, such as female juvenile delinquents, who often experience disproportionately high rates of trauma and the associated psychological symptoms (Knapp et al., 2006). The combination of these effects underscores the potential of EMDR as a transformative treatment strategy.
EMDR focuses on activating past traumatic memories and calming the person about the event and reconstructing it. Hence the eye movements associated with closely resemble REM sleep and help the person process unprocessed memories. When trauma is not properly stored it can continue to haunt, but with EMDR, the story can find resolution and be properly stored. The therapist utilizes short bilateral movements to help calm in some sessions, or faster bilateral movements to activate the memory in other sessions. The use of a finger, timing device, or hand held clicker can help the person find a proper sequencing to replicate REM. With eyes closed, the person will gradually go deeper and deeper into a more submissive mindset. This is accomplished via calming techniques and imageries directed by the therapist. After one feels safe and is able to reflect on the particular memory, the therapist asks a series of questions about the event, regarding how one felt about the event in the past, as well as how the event makes one feel now. If someone states they feel unworthy or unloved, that emotion associated with the event is rated on a numerical scale of intensity. In addition, one’s feelings about the event tied to anxiety is documented prior to starting the session. The first scale is the Validity of Cognition Scale or VOC. This scale accesses the client’s feelings about the event, The therapist will ask on a scale of 1 to 7 how one feels in relation to the event of the past, with 1 feeling completely false and 7 being completely true to the statement. While this scale judges cognitive assessment of the past and current understanding, the next scale accesses the affective or emotional. The subjective units of disruption scale or SUD looks at a scale of 0 to 10 how the person feels now regarding the event with 0 representing neutral and 10 highest anxiety. As the session continues, one relates the incident as well as how one feels regarding it. The therapist over a 15 minute period will direct the client to continue to relate the event and then again reassess how one feels. Throughout the processing, the event is retold but also one’s perception of what occurred. This should lead better emotional statements about the past event as well as less anxious thoughts about it. The key is to help the brain process and properly file the traumatic event which was unable to be properly stored in the past. By accessing the before and after cognitive and affective scales, the therapist can ascertain the client’s state of mind.
C. Evidence supporting the effectiveness of EMDR in treating trauma
Recent research seems to show that EMDR helps people deal with trauma, especially PTSD. A lot of study points to EMDR easing PTSD symptoms, letting folks work through their trauma more effectively. One meta-analysis, for example, noted that changes in the anterior cingulate cortex often pop up when someone endures traumatic events – suggesting that therapies like EMDR might give this brain area a little extra push in calming fears (Boccia et al., 2015). In many cases, blending EMDR with bodywork approaches, such as dance/movement therapy, appears to boost emotional and physical integration, which, in turn, can help with self-regulation and body awareness (Woods et al., 2024). All in all, these findings generally indicate that EMDR not only cuts down trauma symptoms but also lifts overall psychological well-being, making it a key element in handling both grief and trauma.
EMDR has high rates of success with patients. It does involve recalling some uncomfortable moments in life, which can cause some stress and also lead it to being used only on certain days or once a week at most. However, it can successfully help individuals with past trauma, anxiety, loss, and grief better deal, cope and heal. Under the guidance of a trained therapist in EMDR, one can be prepped and face little danger in recounting events. The therapist can help ground oneself if discomfort arises, or help one navigate various triggers. With such proven results, it is a good option. While it may not be for everyone, it is definitely something in the therapist’s tool box that can be utilized.
III. EMDR and Grief
Grief, an inherently complex emotional response, often intertwines with trauma, particularly for individuals who have experienced significant loss under distressing circumstances. This connection can make the grieving process particularly challenging, as the emotions tied to the loss may be compounded by memories of trauma. In this context, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) emerges as a viable therapeutic option for alleviating the burdens of grief and associated trauma. Research indicates that EMDR effectively targets the neural pathways involved in emotional processing, helping individuals refocus and reframe their grief experiences (Boccia et al., 2015). This therapeutic approach is particularly pertinent for those who might grapple with unresolved trauma that complicates their grieving process; unresolved trauma can obstruct the efficacy of conventional talking therapies, which may inadvertently exacerbate emotional pain and create feelings of helplessness (Clark et al., 2013). Unlike traditional methods that may solely rely on verbal expression, EMDR incorporates bilateral stimulation to facilitate the processing of distressing memories, thereby allowing individuals to process their grief in a nuanced and thorough manner. By providing a structured environment for processing painful memories, EMDR helps individuals navigate their grief in a healthier manner, facilitating a more adaptive integration of their experiences. This innovative approach ultimately aids in their journey toward healing, promoting resilience and a deeper understanding of their emotional landscape. As such, EMDR proves to be a transformative intervention that supports those dealing with profound grief, empowering them to reclaim their lives in the aftermath of loss.
A. The impact of grief on mental health
Grief can really shake up your mental state, often dragging along a mix of challenges that chip away at overall well-being. When someone experiences loss, the heavy feelings aren’t just fleeting sadness—they can twist into bouts of anxiety, depression, and disruptions to everyday life. Sometimes, these reactions get tangled up and stick around longer than expected, complicating things in a way that affects how people relate to others. Research generally suggests that a careful, targeted kind of help is needed to mend these mental hurts. While older, traditional methods might offer a bit of relief, there’s growing evidence that treatments like cognitive-behavioral therapy tend to work better when grief becomes really complicated. In most cases, newer approaches—like somatic techniques that mix physical work with emotional healing—have shown promise in softening the sharp edges of trauma symptoms. Bringing together a blend of these different therapies seems pretty essential for anyone wading through the messy, stormy course of grief and trauma (Morozow et al., 2014), (Schlief et al., 2023).
B. How EMDR can facilitate the grieving process
The grieving process can often feel overwhelming, as individuals navigate the complex emotions and memories associated with profound loss. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can facilitate this process by helping individuals effectively reprocess traumatic memories that are intricately linked to their grief, thereby promoting much-needed emotional healing. Research indicates that EMDR allows for a safe exploration of distressing memories, activating common neural networks that support both cognitive and emotional integration, which is fundamental to the healing journey. This integration is critical, as it helps individuals develop healthy coping strategies while simultaneously reducing the symptoms of anxiety and depression that frequently accompany grief, creating a more manageable emotional landscape (Woods et al., 2024). Furthermore, incorporating body-based approaches, such as dance/movement therapy, can significantly enhance the EMDR process. By fostering a greater sense of safety and a stronger therapeutic alliance, these integrative methods can create a more holistic healing experience. Such integration not only enriches the EMDR experience but also provides a creative outlet for expression, making it an invaluable tool for those navigating the rocky terrain of grief. Through this multifaceted approach, individuals may find empowerment to engage with their pain in a constructive way, ultimately leading to the transformation of their grief experience into a pathway for growth and resilience (Greenberg et al., 2017). By addressing both emotional and physical dimensions of grief, EMDR offers a comprehensive strategy for healing.
C. Case studies demonstrating EMDR’s effectiveness in grief therapy
Grief counseling has recently seen a shift—one that brings in EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, which lately has caught many a therapist’s eye because of a bunch of promising case studies. Various reports suggest that EMDR not only helps ease the intense symptoms tied to traumatic loss, but it also seems to assist in processing grief in ways that feel more natural, more adaptive. In many cases, clients dealing with particularly complicated grief report noticeable gains in how they regulate their emotions and even show some improvement in their thinking flexibility after trying EMDR. There’s also been talk about mixing things up by pairing EMDR with techniques like Dance/Movement Therapy (DMT) – a blend that some say tweaks the therapeutic bond and creates an extra sense of safety, which is, after all, pretty key in healing. This kind of mashup seems to let people dive deeper into their sessions, tackling not just the emotional side of grief but the physical, too. And if you listen to research, you’ll hear that EMDR might even trigger certain neural changes that boost its effects against trauma linked to loss, thereby cementing its role in today’s grief therapy practices (Boccia et al., 2015), (Woods et al., 2024).
IV. EMDR and Trauma
In recent years, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) has emerged as a critical psychological intervention for individuals grappling with trauma and grief, particularly in contexts involving acute stress disorders that may arise from various distressing experiences. This therapeutic modality has demonstrated remarkable efficacy in addressing the often debilitating symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition that significantly affects both social and occupational functioning among trauma survivors, including those who have experienced motor vehicle accidents (MVAs) (Boccia et al., 2015). The neural underpinnings of PTSD reveal distinct alterations in brain structures, such as the anterior cingulate cortex, which are positively influenced by EMDR practices. These techniques engage the limbic system through targeted desensitization strategies aimed at processing traumatic memories in a safe environment (Boccia et al., 2015). Beyond these foundational techniques, research shows that integrating EMDR with body-based therapies, such as dance/movement therapy (DMT), not only enhances emotional processing but also fosters a profound sense of safety, thus enriching the overall therapeutic experience for individuals undergoing treatment. These holistic approaches and the combination of EMDR with somatic methods work together to create a more comprehensive healing journey. Collectively, these diverse strategies highlight EMDR’s significant role in facilitating profound healing from trauma and grief while also empowering individuals to reclaim their lives and enhance their emotional resilience in the aftermath of distressing events. As such, EMDR stands as a robust therapeutic option in the growing field of trauma recovery and mental health.
A. Types of trauma that can be treated with EMDR
The versatility of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy extends to a wide array of trauma types, offering significant relief for individuals grappling with various distressing experiences. Notably, EMDR has proven effective for those suffering from complicated grief, a state marked by prolonged and intense mourning that can significantly impair well-being. Research indicates that EMDR facilitates the processing of traumatic memories related to loss, thereby alleviating symptoms of complicated grief that may not respond to traditional therapies (Morozow et al., 2014). Additionally, EMDR addresses trauma stemming from events such as natural disasters, interpersonal violence, and childhood abuse, illustrating its comprehensive applicability across different domains of trauma. Furthermore, instances of emotional trauma related to accidents, sexual assault, and military combat have also shown significant improvements through EMDR, making it a valuable option for those affected by such distressing events. Moreover, integrating EMDR with Dance/movement therapy (DMT) can enhance its effects by fostering emotional and physical expression, thus further supporting individuals in their journey to process grief and trauma (Woods et al., 2024). This combined approach not only aids in alleviating the emotional burden but also encourages a deeper connection with one’s body, providing a holistic path to healing. By considering the many facets of psychological distress that individuals may face, we can appreciate the profound impact of EMDR in addressing a range of traumatic experiences. This multifaceted approach underscores the significance of EMDR in therapeutic contexts, confirming its role as a critical instrument in enhancing emotional resilience and overall mental health.
B. Comparison of EMDR with traditional trauma therapies
Comparing EMDR with more traditional trauma treatments shows that even small differences in how we approach healing can really matter for folks grappling with grief and trauma. Standard methods tend to stick with talking through the painful memories—basically, they rely on a cognitive-behavioral style of sorting things out verbally. EMDR, on the other hand, works by using a kind of back-and-forth stimulation that helps blend emotional, mental, and even physical pieces of a memory together ((Woods et al., 2024)). In most cases, while cognitive-behavioral techniques can help—especially in those trickier grief situations—they sometimes miss that flexible, almost body-focused touch that EMDR offers, which can lead to better emotional balance and a feeling of safety during treatment ((Morozow et al., 2014)). All in all, this different approach gives EMDR a neat edge in dealing with complex feelings, strengthening the bond between therapist and patient, and crafting a treatment path that fits each person a little more uniquely.
C. Long-term benefits of EMDR for trauma survivors
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) isn’t just a quick fix—it often brings lasting change for trauma survivors. It goes beyond immediate symptom relief, slowly reshaping how people cope with emotions and improving overall well-being. In many cases, by mixing different treatment approaches, EMDR helps ease anxiety, depression, and grief while giving individuals a chance to rethink their personal narratives and, gradually, rebuild their lives. This method, with its strong focus on boosting body awareness and fine-tuning self-regulation, plays a crucial role in keeping mental health on track over time (Woods et al., 2024). Research generally shows that EMDR can also strengthen the connection between therapists and clients, leaving survivors with a greater sense of safety and support during their recovery journey (Woods et al., 2024).
V. Conclusion
In conclusion, the evidence supporting the efficacy of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) in addressing grief and trauma is not only compelling but also offers significant insight into its potential role as a transformative intervention for individuals grappling with complex emotions and psychological distress. EMDR goes beyond mere memory recall; it actively facilitates the processing of traumatic memories while simultaneously integrating a person’s emotional, cognitive, and physical experiences, showcasing its unique effectiveness particularly in relation to body-based therapies such as Dance/Movement Therapy (DMT) (Woods et al., 2024). Furthermore, the inherent challenges associated with diagnosing complicated grief highlight an urgent need for innovative therapeutic approaches tailored to individual needs. Studies increasingly indicate that targeted interventions are vital for those experiencing persistent and debilitating grief symptoms, thereby reinforcing the relevance and utility of EMDR as a structured method specifically designed to alleviate suffering and provide relief (Morozow et al., 2014). As mental health practitioners continue to seek enhanced treatment efficacy, the prospect of integrating EMDR with other therapeutic modalities presents an exciting opportunity. Such a combined approach could yield a more holistic framework for healing that addresses not only the nuanced dimensions of grief but also the pervasive impact of trauma on an individual’s overall well-being. In light of these considerations, leveraging EMDR within a comprehensive treatment strategy may not only foster resilience but also empower individuals on their journey toward recovery, emphasizing its importance in contemporary therapeutic practices.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. Again, it is important to note that grief counselors who are also licensed social workers or counselors with EMDR are permitted to utilize this therapy with grief. Pastoral or non licensed grief counselors can only reference it and recommend their clients find a professional who offers it.
A. Summary of key points discussed
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) pops up as a way to handle grief and trauma, and there’s a bunch to unpack about it. Somatic experience techniques, for instance, have been showing some promise by easing trauma symptoms through a kind of mind-body hookup, which kinda helps release those pent-up feelings—both the emotional and the physical ones (Schlief et al., 2023). Grief itself can get really messy, especially when it sticks around or gets complicated enough to need special attention. When folks looked over different treatment strategies, they noticed that not every protocol fits neatly, as mentioned in (Morozow et al., 2014), hinting that our guidelines for tough cases of grief might need a bit more clarity. In most cases, blending EMDR’s approach with these broader therapeutic tips seems to offer a well-rounded path toward recovery—one that doesn’t ignore the many twists and turns of grief and trauma. All in all, it feels like there’s a natural flow here that, even if it isn’t perfectly polished, speaks to the layered nature of our emotional struggles.
B. The significance of integrating EMDR into therapeutic practices
Using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) in therapy is crucial when helping people work through grief and trauma. In most cases, it tackles not only how we think about painful memories but also picks up on the physical reactions that often come along with them. Recent readings even suggest that body-focused methods—like using EMDR alongside Dance/movement therapy (DMT) (Woods et al., 2024)—can create an environment where individuals feel safer and are more open to expressing emotions. Mixing these approaches gives clients a sort of toolbox for getting in tune with their bodies and improving self-regulation, which, in turn, can make dealing with tough memories a bit easier. Somatic therapies, after all, remind us that both mental and physical wounds need attention, underlining that the mind and body are really connected (Schlief et al., 2023). By combining EMDR with body-based techniques, therapists generally craft a more well-rounded, effective healing plan that often leads to better outcomes for those facing grief and trauma.
C. Future directions for research and practice in EMDR therapy
EMDR therapy is getting a lot of attention these days, and that has folks wondering how we might get even better at using it for grief and trauma. Instead of sticking to a neat list, it seems obvious that we need to take a closer look at what goes on in the brain when trauma hits. For instance, some studies have noticed that PTSD comes along with clear changes in the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC); this detail suggests that hitting those specific pathways could be pretty key (Boccia et al., 2015). There’s also a push to see if EMDR can really help groups people sometimes overlook—think, for example, of mentally disordered offenders dealing with trauma tied to their offenses—which might mean rethinking treatment plans to address lingering wounds that hold back rehabilitation (Clark et al., 2013). Generally speaking, if researchers and clinicians start poking around these areas more systematically, EMDR could come into play in more flexible and evidence-based ways across a range of clinical settings.
Additional Resources
“EMDR Therapy”. Cleveland Clinic. Access here
“Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy’. APA. Access here
“EMDR”. Psychology Today Staff. Psychology Today. Access here
“The History of EMDR Therapy”. EMDR Institute. Access here
Utilization of CBT in Grief and/or Depression
Grief and loss strike an imbalance in life. During the adjustment process, numerous complications can occur that can veer a person off course in adjustment. Sometimes Grief Counseling and simple talk can help but other times more powerful forms of counseling are required via licensed counselors with an expertise in grief counseling. In some cases, therapy involves looking solely at the past and the emotional aspect via Psychodynamic Approach, sometimes professionals utilize a more rational approach through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and in some cases, professionals utilize a combination.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT has a high success rate in helping complicated and dysfunctional grievers find understanding and meaning in life through examination of the loss and recognition of unhealthy feelings, irrational thoughts and imbalanced behaviors. It involves intense reflection, grief work and homework, and application to help the person reframe distorted views due to complicated grief or even cases of depression. Originally utilized by Aaron Beck (1967), it looked to challenge distorted feelings and help the person find healing through rational re-direction. In essence, CBT recognizes the Cognitive Triangle of thought, behavior and emotion. Each aspect of human existence affects the other. Thoughts can positively or negatively affect behavior, behavior can affect emotion and emotion can affect thought. If any of these are imbalanced, it can create a distortion itself.
Albert Ellis, (1957) was a core contributor to Beck’s thought. Ellis was discouraged by the limitations of psychoanalysis and limitations of only becoming aware of an emotion but wanted tools to cognitively help the person move forward. Ellis drafted the ABC Model which identified a triggering or Activating event with a belief that in turn caused a consequence. An activating event could be labeled as any traumatic event or loss that in turn was interpreted by the person. In complications of grieving, the interpretation or belief regarding the event many times caused negative consequences, instead of the event itself. The purpose of the therapy was to revisit the event, understand it and correlate proper consequences from the objective nature of the event instead of subjective beliefs or faulty conclusions. Hence irrational, unhealthy, and counter productive thinking and new distorted behaviors from an event are key elements within complications of grieving. CBT looks to challenge those ways of thinking and behaviors with an indepth cognitive, intellectual and rational discussion to help correct the emotions and behaviors via better thinking or reframing.
Cognitive Distortions
Individuals who suffer from depression or complications in grieving generally have a faulty cognitive view of reality. Due to the event, loss, or trauma, there is a type of worldview that haunts them and adversely affects their emotional and behavioral response to life. For those suffering from depression or complicated loss, many have a variety of distorted views which include:
- All-or-nothing thinking: Viewing situations in binary terms, without considering nuance.
- Catastrophizing: Anticipating the most adverse outcomes without empirical justification.
- Mind Reading: Presuming to understand others’ thoughts without direct evidence.
- Emotional reasoning: Basing conclusions on emotions rather than objective data.
- Labeling: Characterizing oneself or others based on a singular trait or event.
- Personalization: Attributing external events to oneself without a clear causal line
McCleod. S. (2023). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Types, Techniques, Uses. Simple Psychology. Access here
As McCleod points out, many of these distortions are assumptions that usually are tied to lower self image or negative self schemas. These negative self schemas play a key role in the illogical thinking and ideals of a depressed person
Cognitive Triad and Cognitive Distortions
Beck used the example of the Cognitive Triad that illustrated three ideals of self, the world, and the future. In all cases of depressed individuals, the self image of the person was negative, the ideal that the world hated them was present and that the future possessed no future blessings. Beck theorized that this triad stemmed from a negative schema in life that originated from a negative life event that was never processed properly. This in turn led to a complication in grieving or adjusting. From these events, a series of even more cognitive distortions emerged within the depressed person in how they viewed life itself.
Among the many included magnification of bad events or minimization of good events, over personalization of others emotions as if they are correlated with oneself, and improper correlation of negative causal events with oneself (select abstraction). As one can imagine, a depressed person is trapped not only with emotional imbalance but is also haunted daily with these negative cognitive sequences
CBT Process
CBT challenges these thoughts. It looks for one to reframe them and see things in different lights. It looks to gain a better understanding of these thoughts and behaviors and incorporate better problem solving ways to deal with them. This reframing involves first a serious discussion and revisiting of the activating event and understanding it more objectively. Sometimes the therapist will utilize exposure therapy with the patient, asking them to discuss and think about the past incident. For more traumatic or painful memories, this takes time and over sessions, longer exposure occurs. Sometimes, this is through direct memory or pretending to be a bystander watching the past. This challenges the person to face one’s past, fears and trauma and move forward.
Following analysis, one is asked to discuss thoughts and emotions associated with the event. This is where illogical and damaging thoughts and behaviors can identified and weeded out. The patient is given alternative ways of thinking and reframing thoughts about the event, as well as ways to better cope with daily issues. This is key in helping the individual. The therapist not only unroots the cognitive distortion but also gives the patient the psychological and mental tools necessary to alter negative thoughts and behaviors in association with the event. Sometimes, the therapist and patient can role play a future event to help the patient better prepare for interaction. Other tools include meditation and ways to calm oneself when a potential social trigger presents itself that can challenge the new reframing.
CBT gives the patient the opportunity to also be their own therapist. To work through issues, apply skills and complete homework assignments.
It is essential in CBT to identify and recognize the distorted thought or maladaptive coping in response to the event and give the person the tools necessary to properly understand the issue and reframe it for healing purposes. CBT usually takes 20 sessions or so to finally uproot the issue and help reframe and correct distorted thinking.
Limits of CBT
While CBT is successfully, it can have limitations. It is based primarily upon the cognitive thought process and looks to correct maladaptive coping and distorted thoughts to help the person find balance, but other therapies, such as the Psychodynamic Approach Looks at the emotional response stemming from the past event and how that event negatively affects present day emotions. The Freudian Psychodynamic Approach finds the repressed feelings and how to cope with those feelings. If utilized in combination with cognitive, I feel both approaches integrated can help the person have a more holistic and complete person healing process. The other limitation of CBT is if solely utilized as talk, it does not address the chemical imbalance within the brain and neurotransmitters. Sometimes, serotonin balance is necessary and depression medications are necessary to help a person find new balance and alter thought process.
Hence, a multi faceted approach is sometimes necessary in treating a person, not merely an intellectual approach. This does not mean CBT is not highly effective. It is extremely useful tool in helping individuals reframe negative thoughts and behaviors due to an incident and helping them correct those issues.
Conclusion
CBT and other therapies combined are excellent ways to help correct complications in grieving stemming from distorted thinking and helping the individual from an intellectual standpoint reframe and understand the loss in a logical way void of false images. It is a heavy talk based therapy that asks one to revisit the past, rethink and reframe it, and correct distorted thoughts and behaviors. It sometimes requires additional therapies with it to help others overcome depression or complications in the grieving process but overall is very successful. This type of therapy or any grief therapy is reserved for licensed therapists. Pastoral grief counselors who are not licensed need to refer more serious cases of grief and loss to these types of licensed counselors.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification. The program is open to both licensed and unlicensed Human Service professionals and offers an online and independent program that leads to a four year certification.
Additional Resources
“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)”. Cleveland Clinic. Access here
“What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?”. (2017). Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. APA. Access here
Raypole, C. & Marcin, A. (2023). “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: What Is It and How Does It Work?”. Healthline. Access here
“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” Psychology Today. Access here
Grief Counseling Certification Video on Sport’s Grief
In sports there are expectations by players and fans alike. When those expectations are not met there is a sense of loss. Grief is common in sports. Noone likes to lose a game and while it builds character there can be some sadness. Too much sadness or extreme emotional distress are signs of deeper issues
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling
Grief Counseling Program Blog on Problems within a Bereavement Support Group
Problems occur within any plans. It is part of life. Support groups are not immune. Despite the best plan, the best curriculum, and best training, one still will encounter various issues within a support group. If flexible and organized, most issues will not be objectively with the set up or the schedule, but will instead come from within. With so many personalities and the issue of grief itself, there will be bumps in the road. Individuals will have certain needs or react different ways. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program
Pre-screening the group can help. Discovering individuals who do not want to be there or who are not ready to be there is important, but they still can slip through and issues can arise. Within even the perfect set up, various red flags can emerge. There may be an unwillingness for most to speak, or long winded individuals. Some members may be more focused on themselves, or others may feel the group is not helping. As the leader of the group, it is important to know when to stop and discuss to others privately and how to deal with conflict during the meeting itself. Please review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Support Group Program
If preparation for meetings is present, there is still the chance expectations may not meet the desires of group members. If this is not rectified, then the group is doomed to failure. It is important for everyone to be on the same page and have a clear understanding of objectives. This is why is it so important to lay out the schedule and plan, identify the grieving process and help others along the process.
Alan Wolfert describes a variety of problem personalities that can cause issues in a group if it is not met with strong leadership.
One type of personality is an absent one. This individual misses the majority of meetings or does not do homework. Some are just to numb from the loss to share. One way to to prevent this is to make the effort to include everyone in the meeting and their importance. Creating safe ways to introduce this individual to the meeting is key. Sometimes helping this individual privately is also important. As long as they are present, sometimes, their passive nature can be permitted as long as the leader understand the member is understanding the process.
An individual who was forced to join the group can be a big problem. This type of individual will not be receptive and remain standoffish. Many times, they are only entering the group to please others. It is important to pre-screen this type of individual but if not, one needs to try to make the person feel as welcome as possible. If things do not improve, a private meeting with an option to leave the group may be the only alternative.
Other individuals can the opposite problem. Many of these personalities may push their own agenda. Some may consider themselves experts on grief. Initially, this may be a self defense mechanism. However, a know it all can be detrimental to the group. Sometimes it is best to thank this type of individual for their knowledge, but to push it to how the individual feels. Try to pull out the feeling, not their intellect. Others love to give advice. Advice obviously as a ground rule is something only given upon request, but many feel the need to advice others. It is important to correct unsolicited advice in a kind and gentle manner.
Some individuals like to preach. Their preaching may be long winded as well as unwanted. Many ways this prevents anyone from every knowing what he or she feels. It important to keep the question on this individual in how he or she feels, not how others should feel. Closely related to this or highly spiritual and judgmental individuals who believe everyone should believe the way they do. It is important to maintain a spiritual atmosphere but also a conclusive one. An individual who looks to push his or her own religious agenda as a way to cope can be detrimental to the group.
In addition, there are personalities who blame, challenge and interrupt. Obviously these types of attitudes cause chaos. One pushes blame away from the source of grief, while the other challenges the competency of the leader, as well as prevents others from sharing. It is important to not tolerate any type of interruptions and abide by rules of the group. In regards to challengers, it is important to hear it, but to not allow it to force a debate with you as a leader with a group member. It is important to not be defensive and allow the group to see through the charade of the challenger.
Other individuals will try to avoid the grief work through other ways. They will ramble about things not related to the grief work or look to socialize. Many of these attitudes are shields to avoid their own pain, so again, it needs to be stopped but in a gentle and caring way. It is important to keep the group on track and ready.
As a group leader, there will be plenty of challenges in merely planning and organizing the meeting but there are always issues that can arise within the group itself. Be easy on oneself if it is first time conducting a group. Evaluate oneself truthfully and see how one managed the problems. As time continues and one gathers more group experience, one will be better equipped and ready to identify these group distractions and better handle them.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Source: ” The Understanding Your Grief Support Group Guide: Starting and Leading a Bereavement Support Group” by Alan Wolfert, PhD
Grief Counseling Program Blog on Trauma and Restoring Intimacy
Sexuality and intimacy are crucial aspects of human life. It allows two to bond and share the deepest feelings with a wholesome sexual experience. An experience that is pure and filled with love as opposed as corrupt and full of hate. During trauma, individuals can lose intimacy and a healthy understanding of love and sex. This can create obstacles to fully reacclimating into society because one is not able to form a new bond or attachment with another human being. The act of intimacy and the act of sex in themselves can also become triggers and reminders of past abuse and push the person away from these normal and healthy bonds. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program
One who has experienced trauma must eventually face intimacy, trust and friendship and if desired, a more deeper friendship in the contract of a sexual relationship. Unfortunately, trauma makes this difficult and can prevent the person from an important fountain of healing that can bring the person closer to becoming one again. In this article, we will look at a few issues of intimacy and sexuality that someone who has faced trauma will deal with and how that someone can learn to trust and love again. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Courses
In intimacy, one opens oneself to another. This can mean many things to a survivor of sexual trauma or betrayal. One feels the loss of a control. In isolation, one feels one has the power to control what occurs and the fear of opening oneself, puts oneself partly at the power of another. It is exactly this power that a trauma survivor fears. In addition, trauma survivors fear abandonment. If one opens up, then one risks the chance of being hurt and betrayed again. Hence many experience abandonment issues. Intimacy also opens up the chance of rejection. Trauma survivors fear the thought of being rejected for who they are and may very well reject someone before they can be rejected.
It is important with intimacy to accept fears. This is the hardest part, but only until one dismisses the fears, can one again learn to have a trusting relationship. The fear may be in the other person, or in one’s own tendencies but one cannot have the healing powers of intimacy without trust and letting fears go. One also needs to reject ideas and notions that can block intimacy with others. Many who have been traumatized universally label everyone. All men/women are bad is a common over generalization. The perpetrator was not good but not all people are bad. This central concept can take time to finally become a reality again. Other false narratives include assuming no one has every experienced what one has experienced, or that one cannot ever burden another with one’s issues. In addition, others feel unloved and if anyone ever knew what occurred, then that person would no longer be lovable. Flaws are seen as more prominent and as a sign of weakness, when in reality everyone has flaws.
Learning how to discuss the past and discuss the future are critical communication skills. Individuals who fear intimacy need to be better able to express to another and share how to handle issues and conflicts. Without releasing the fear, false notions and opening up communication, then a person suffering from trauma will not be able to open again and find the value and healing within a friendship or a deeper relationship.
One of the biggest blocks to a deeper relationship is again seeing sexuality as wholesome and natural. Sex in its very nature promotes union, trust, and love but the trauma has distorted the true value of intimacy and sexuality. Following an assault, sex itself can become a trigger to a PSTD response. A certain touch can remind one of the trauma and turn something of love into something of abuse. The person has a hard time viewing sex as holy and the person as sacred. The rape or assault has stripped sexuality and intimacy of its dignity and the person has difficult times again experiencing these feelings and senses in a positive way.
Sex can also be seen as a way to control others, or it may be a device to fix what went wrong before. Unhealthy expressions and sexual behavior can result in different directions from fear of sex to promiscuity later in life. It is hence important to remove these past negative images. One image that is especially unhealthy is seeing all sexual behavior and correlating it with a sense of disgust. It is important to learn skills to neutralize this feeling of disgust and help re-evaluate these past negative experiences with positive experiences.
In rebuilding oneself for intimacy and sexual relations, the traumatized need to overcome many hurdles of trust and intimacy but certain steps can help to start the healing process. Disgust and association with trauma can be overcame with patience and time and understanding from one’s new partner.
It is hence important to again see certain parts of the body as holy and good. They cannot be seen or associated as evil in themselves. The action must be separated from the part of the body itself. Second, one needs to learn neutralize disgust. Ideas that the body is an object to be used must be dismissed and replaced with ideals that the body is a temple and a gift. This not only deals with the other person, but also how one views oneself. One can further separate the feeling of disgust with sex itself and shame. The shame with trauma needs to be separated from the act itself. By learning to separate negative feelings and events from the body and act itself, one can better open up to others. One can then create a new narrative where the event with a different person is not hateful or abusive but instead filled with love and respect.
Unfortunately, while rebuilding each other, partners should be conscious of others past. Certain boundaries may initially needed and a slow crawl until mutual comfort is met. Flashbacks can occur and it is important to recreate intimacy and the sexual experience together to form new wholesome memories. This requires patience, counseling as well as awareness.
Healthy sexuality is the ultimate key. While intimacy does not necessarily involve sexuality, nor the necessity of entering into a sexual relationship, one must still restore a sense of the sacred to the sexual act. Sex is not about control, secretive, shameful, wrong, abusive, dis-connective, controlling, superficial, or selfish but instead is a spiritual, emotional and physical act that binds. It builds self esteem and gives proper pleasures associated with that. It is celebrated and gives deeper meaning to life. It does not abuse, but promotes a feeling of unity and safety. It honors and loves and builds two instead of breaking down another. Finally, it does not reject, but it also accepts the imperfect and celebrates the two.
For some, sex is more than naturally just beautiful but also sacred from a religious view. Sex in this regard binds two as one before God and calls forward a vocation that goes beyond the symbolic act of sex, but carries itself in all matters of life itself. Spiritually, the destruction of sex to anything less is not of God and is a misuse of this divine gift to not only bring forth new life but also unify two into one.
One can restore intimacy, and if desired, a healthy sexuality after assault, but naturally, the traumatized must learn to reprogram one’s mind to not only not fear but to open up and let go past narratives that prevent the leap of love and faith. The traumatized must also learn differentiate the corruption of the perpetrator from the holiness and goodness of the action itself and how it can be experienced with a good person.
It is a most disgusting sin to harm another through sex because it injures the person not only physically but also emotionally. It affects one’s ability to feel intimacy again and feel trust. It is more than a theft of virginity or physical freedom, but is a theft of self, but fortunately, through healing, counseling and prayer, one can again heal.
Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Certification, Stress Management Consulting Program as well as AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification Program. The programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in these disciplines.
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