Why Feeling Better Doesn’t Always Mean You’ve Recovered

Is your teen depressed? Please also review AIHCP's Child and Adolescent Grief Counseling Certification

Written by Marko,

After a long time, you’ve slept through the night and, when your friend made a joke, you actually laughed at it. You have plans for the weekend and, for the first time in forever, you’re looking forward to it instead of thinking about how to get out of it. 

It seems like you’re back to being yourself. It was a long way to go, but you did it. You’re okay.

Then… Well, then you realize you won’t make the deadline at work and the same thing happens again. And this is unfortunately something that (likely) resonates with a lot of people.

You feel this knot in your stomach, and you get overwhelmed by panic. It all rushes right back, as if it never left. As if you never made any progress whatsoever. As if you haven’t recovered.

By triggering the HPA axis and increasing your cortisol levels, stress can reactivate previously reduced symptoms. – Harvard Health, Stress Response and Mental Health

That whiplash can be terrible in more ways than one, but it certainly doesn’t mean that you haven’t made serious progress. This is a normal part of the process, so it’s weird that it’s not talked about more. What feels like recovery doesn’t have to mean actual recovery, and what feels like a failure isn’t failure in the vast majority of cases.

Strange, isn’t it?

Let’s see why this happens.

Feeling Better and Being Recovered Aren’t the Same Thing

You no longer feel heavy, and the dark thoughts seem to be gone. 

And while this definitely is a good thing, this is still not what we consider ‘recovered’; it’s only progress towards this goal.

Clinical mental health recovery requires two things: symptom remission and restoration of functioning (work, social, cognitive). – National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Mental Illness & Recovery

Maybe you don’t feel that paralyzing panic anymore, but you can’t focus on the book you’re reading for more than 2 minutes. Sure, our mood might be better, which is great, but you still don’t feel motivated enough to shower or run errands you should’ve completed days/weeks ago; you’re procrastinating. 

It’s great that you feel less emotional pain, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you can function normally again, which is why people tend to get stuck at this stage. It’s also the reason why feeling awesome for a few days can be so deceptive.

Recovery is complicated. Well, that goes without saying, really. 

But what makes it complicated?

People are different, and it comes as no surprise that the recovery process isn’t equal for everyone. There are some things that everyone does share – that’s the fact that there’s no moment where you instantly go from zero to hero. 

There’s no switch.

Mental health recovery is non-linear, meaning it has periods of improvement, periods of relapse, and periods of stabilization. – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

Recovery is (usually) slow and messy, with a decent amount of back and forth, where you feel like you’re okay one day, and then the next, you feel like everything you did is wrong and all the work was for nothing. 

So, once you get that string of good days, it’s tempting to just declare you’ve recovered and move on with your life.

Relapse rates for mental health conditions (e.g., depression, anxiety) have recurred in 50-80% of people. – National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Depression Recurrence Studies

But no mental health professional would agree with you. 

They’ll pat you on the back for having a few good days, but they’ll also want to see if those days become months, especially when something stresses you out. They’ll want to see that you’re still stable even under pressure because, if you are, then you’re truly okay.

This is also why treatment can change at this point. 

Once the worst is over, the focus goes to building something that lasts.

These early improvements can be quite misleading because people start feeling relief, which is both real and welcome, to the point that they assume they’re healed (or at least mostly healed), while in reality, they’re nowhere near full recovery.

One good thing to remember is that you can always ask for help – in fact, it’s encouraged. 

Being among people who know how to help and people who’ve been where you are right now can be the difference between success and failure. This is why hospitalization institutions come in handy. You can find partial hospitalization in Delaware, Ohio, Texas, Maryland, etc. – all over the country. These types of institutions were designed to make your recovery process as efficient and as easy as possible. 

If you’re struggling, then professional help is the answer.

Recovery Happens in More Than One Area

There’s a lot of misinformation out there about recovery, so it’s really no wonder that many people assume it’s this big moment where you wake up one day, and you’re suddenly great. 

But that’s not how recovery works.

Emotional Relief Doesn’t Mean You Can Function Normally

On the one hand, you feel calm. Or at least calmer than you’ve been recently. 

But on the other hand, you find yourself staring at a computer screen for an hour without doing anything. This happens a lot – panic and sadness ease up, but concentration and motivation are nowhere to be found. This is normal. 

Your brain has been running on empty for so long, it makes sense that it needs a while to rebuild cognitive muscles.

You Have to Rebuild Healthy Routines

Behavioral activation is one of the most effective evidence-based methods for sustaining mental/emotional recovery. – American Psychological Association

When things start to go downhill, the first thing people forget about are routines. And it makes sense, because who wants to go to the gym when you feel like your life is falling apart? 

You no longer sleep well, you don’t eat on time, and when you do, it’s not anything healthy because you don’t feel like cooking.

Once your mood picks up, none of this will be magically fixed. 

What you’ll need to do is force yourself to exercise again, to cook, to run errands on time, to go to bed at a certain hour, and so on. 

It won’t feel too good, and you might still end up doomscrolling on TikTok until 3 A.M., but if you keep at it, all of this will become normal again.

Relationships Recover at Their Own Pace

Just because you no longer feel depressed 24/7 doesn’t mean you want to reach out to your friends and family. It’s been so long since you stuck to a plan without flaking or since you were in the company of other people without feeling irritated, so it’s no wonder this feels awkward.

This will take time, probably more than you think.

Get ready to have some awkward conversations with the people around you because they don’t know what to expect of you or even how to act around you. 

Just be honest and let time do its thing. There’s really nothing else to be done here.

Confidence Gets Back Little By Little

Repeated successes increase self-efficacy, which is linked to sustained long-term mental health recovery. – American Psychological Association

If you feel better, that’s a great sign. But the question is, “How are you doing mentally REALLY?” Do you believe in yourself again? Do you feel good about yourself?

Once you’ve managed to tackle these heavy emotions, that doesn’t automatically mean that confidence is back. 

The way you get back your confidence is by being consistent and steady. 

Keep giving yourself small and achievaeable/realistic goals. 

The more you complete them, the better you’ll feel because this will train your mind that progress is REAL. It’s not some abstract concept. Once you realize that your actions can make a difference, your confidence will (slowly) return.

What Actual Recovery Looks Like

As you may have figured out by now, recovery doesn’t look perfect. It actually looks kind of basic, with a little bit of chaos here and there. 

True/proper recovery you’ll find in the form of consistency.

One bad day is just that – a bad day. It doesn’t unravel into something that lasts for weeks, so one bad day is actually progress.

If you want to know about the biggest sign of recovery, it’s simple. 

It’s in how someone handles stress once it shows up. The important thing here is that they’ll deal with it instead of running away. They’ll sit with the discomfort they feel because they’re strong and don’t have to hide from the bad stuff anymore.

Another thing that happens once a person starts to recover is that they notice more meaningful stuff in their life. 

Like their job, for example. 

It no longer feels soul-sucking but worthwhile. 

All these relationships start becoming a source of comfort and connection instead of something that constantly drains you and makes you feel uncomfortable. Stress and the struggle won’t disappear. Everyone gets stressed out, and everyone struggles at one point or another. It’s how we face those things that change (for the better).

Conclusion

Someone who now sleeps better and laughs at jokes is winning life.

Don’t take feeling good for granted. This doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve feeling good – you do. But keep in mind that it takes a lot of work (whether you realize it or not) to keep feeling good and staying positive even though the odds might be against us.

We can do it, of course. 

But once we start feeling a bit too comfortable; once we start getting lazy, all those bad things in life will again start knocking harder at our doors.

The main takeaway here is that you now KNOW that it’s possible; and it’s not THAT difficult once you know what to do and how to do it. You just have to be aware at all times, and you have to train yourself.

2 Interlinking Opportunities:

From https://aihcp.net/2025/10/22/emotional-healing-process-in-counseling/ with anchor approach to emotional recovery

From https://aihcp.net/2024/11/21/psychological-recovery-after-crisis/ with anchor limitations of recovery

Author Bio 

Marko is an adamant and eager content writer with a decade of experience in various niches,  with healthcare being one of them. With his way of implementing storytelling, comparisons, and examples into hard-to-grasp topics, Marko’s able to make complex things sound interesting and relatable – key ingredients to make something understandable. As a hobby, Marko enjoys offroading, board games, and spending time with his family and his dog Cezar.

 

 

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counselor Certification program and CE courses see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  These programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification

Pastoral Crisis Intervention

While AIHCP offers a Pastoral Thanatology Certification which aims at end of life and death counseling and spiritual care, pastoral care goes beyond merely helping individuals face the crisis of death, but it also stretches out throughout life where multiple pastoral and crisis events occur.  Grief counseling, Christian counseling, as well as Stress Management and Anger Management are all key tools to help individuals face the problems of life, but crisis itself involves bandaging the bleeding wound and stabilizing the person emotionally and mentally.  A person is crisis is facing a confusing and emotional imbalance that one’s coping strategies temporarily are unable to handle.   The following can lead to immediate disorientation, loss of sense, and intense emotional outbreaks associated with sadness, anger, or hopelessness.   In essence, ” for an individual, crisis is the perception or experiencing of an event or situation as intolerable difficulty that exceeds a person’s current resources and coping mechanisms (James, 2017, p. 9) “. For some in crisis, foolish decisions can be made, while others, inaction or inability to act can occur.  Whether insanity and foolishness or numbness ensue, the person is in dire need of intervention to restore balance, reason and hope.  The purpose of the pastoral counselor specialized in crisis intervention is to not only help the person restore that balance but also to give spiritual aid if needed.  Chaplains and other on the scene professionals look to help these individuals in crisis find clarity and hope.

Chaplaincy plays a big role in pastoral crisis intervention.

Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Specialist Program as well as its Pastoral Thanatology Program

Basic Crisis Intervention

Secular crisis intervention serves the most basic needs of those experiencing trauma or sudden loss.  Whether a sudden deceased family member, a violent crime, a national tragedy, or act of nature, individuals need immediate care and assistance in these dark moments. Everly points out that traditional mechanisms of crisis intervention including early intervention, social support, cathartic ventilation, problem solving and cognitive reinterpretation are all essential basics for helpers in crisis (2000, p. 139).   In addition, Mitchell looks at some of the most basic needs for those in crisis need through the acronym ASSISTANCE.  Mitchell lists the need for Assurance of individuals that individuals, or the government will help in severe crisis.  In addition, he lists Security is present and that children and families are safe if they follow directions and guides.  Structure refers to order in chaos and the structure provided by others to help again restore order.  Information refers to giving individuals in crisis, or part of disaster, the best knowledge and resources for a given crisis or disaster. Support refers to not only financial and guidance, but also mental and emotional support through crisis intervention as well as pastoral guidance.  Truth refers to not hiding important information to those victims of disaster or terrorist action but letting them know everything pertinent to a situation to avoid further panic.  Action refers to not merely thinking but also helping others in distress, whether it is the crisis counselor working with someone, or others helping a neighbor in need during disaster.  Neutralize refers to negating pessimism but pushing forward with optimism and plans.  Courage refers the inner resolve of those in crisis, disaster, or terrorist attack to move forward with renewed strength.   Crisis and Pastoral counselors can play a key role in implanting this within individuals with words of encouragement.  And finally this leads to Encouragement and being positive and pushing positive emotions and ideas with those in crisis but also fellow neighbors. (Mitchell).

Pastoral Crisis Intervention

These basic elements of helping others in crisis are core elements.  It is important to help individuals by offering hope but also helping individuals find balance and restoring pre-crisis mental and physical health to help the person find logic and reinterpretation of the event to avoid insanity and inaction.  Chaplains and other pastoral care givers who work in disaster sites, or work with police and fire can also offer another element of crisis care referred to as pastoral crisis intervention.   When individuals in crisis of a particular faith are receptive, pastoral crisis interventionists whether at a death bed, hospice, sites of violent crimes, accidents, disasters, shootings or other terrorist acts can look to help sooth the soul as well.  Everly illustrates various ways chaplains or other pastoral crisis interventionalists can apply pastoral care in crisis.  He lists scriptural education, individual and conjoint prayer, intercessory prayer, explaining worldviews, offering ventilative confession, providing faith based support, supplying ritual and sacraments, and discussion of Divine forgiveness and discussions about life and death and the afterlife (2000, p. 140).  Within this model it is also important to emphasize perceive reception for utilization of these strategies, which include receptive expectations from the person in crisis for spiritual care, or at least a receptive state of mind that is open to spiritual care, and finally not limiting it only to the person in direct crisis, but being there for other family members, police and rescue, as well as physicians, nurses and other healthcare professionals (Everly, 2000, p. 140).

Potential issues can erupt those for chaplains or other pastoral care givers.  It is essential first and foremost not to see oneself as a spreader of the particular faith one adheres to.  One is bringing spiritual comfort to those in crisis.  Chaplains in hospice or on staff for hospitals, or even prisons, or those who appear on crisis sites are there to serve all people of all faiths.  This is why they must be equipped with basic knowledges different religions, ranging from Christianity to Islam to Hinduism and Buddhism, as well as Judaism to even Taoism.  In some cases, individuals may be merely receptive to hear a caring voice.  Chaplains or those in pastoral care in crisis need to be aware of their role as bringers of peace.  If a patient or victim of crisis shares the same faith values, then such issues of universal speech of spirituality can be narrowed down theologically to the faith shared, but when not, some victims may request someone else who shares the same faith, or even wish not to discuss spirituality.  Sometimes, it is the duty of the chaplain to find a rabbi, iman or priest for a particular individual if one cannot meet the spiritual needs itself. When reception is not open, chaplains and other pastoral care givers in crisis must respect these wishes to avoid further stress and frustration within the individual.  A person who is dying, or in crisis does not need further agitation if spirituality is discussed.  Furthermore, chaplains, while present to give peace, are not equipped to offer certain faith based services to other individuals.  For example, a minister is not able to offer Last Rites but must find priest, or in other cases, chaplains should not delve into religious practices they are not trained in or go against their personal beliefs.  Such subjects should be left avoided or referred to other clergy capable and willing.

Pastoral Crisis Intervention works with receptive individuals looking for spiritual care during crisis.

Everly lists a few issues that can occur in application of pastoral crisis intervention that are important keys for chaplains and other crisis givers need to remember.  Among them, he lists failure to listen to the secular needs of an individual.  He further lists lack of a proper or structured plan when arriving upon a crisis or death scene.  He also points out the the dangers of debating religious and spiritual issues with those in crisis, or attempting to explain theological issues, or preaching to a unreceptive individual, as well as trying to convert someone (2000, p. 141).   Obviously these issues are addressed in chaplaincy training and crisis response.  Chaplains learn in CPE training that they are present to offer peace not agitation.  They are not their to convert but to help with whatever spiritual or emotional need is within the person who is in crisis or dying.   Many who are strong within their faith may feel an inner obligation to bring their faith to the individual, but this impulse must be controlled for those who do not seek it or receptive to it.  Not everyone will share the same faith, but one is called to serve all individuals and meet the unique needs of those individuals.  One does not merely serve one’s own, but serves all common humanity.

In addition, Everly lists some diagnosis mistakes that can be made with individuals in acute crisis that should be avoided.  Many times, individuals in crisis can be mistaken as depressed when it is merely grief reaction to loss.  Also, chaplains and pastoral crisis interventionists need to be aware of brief psychotic reaction vs intrusive ideation, dissociation vs intrusive ideation as well as acute cognitive impairment vs severe incapacitation (2000, p. 141).   Ultimately, many individuals need to be referred later to licensed counselors to deal with longer term issues after crisis.  In some cases, the counseling may only need to be at pastoral levels but in other cases, clinical counseling may be required.  Chaplains and crisis interventionists are again present to supply immediate emotional and spiritual first aid, much like an EMT who physically stops the bleeding or acute issues, while the nurses and physicians repair the long term damage.  Likewise, chaplains and crisis intervention counselors later refer those who have stabilized to the appropriate behavioral health and human service professionals.

Conclusion

According to Evenly “Pastoral Crisis Intervention is the functional integration of pastoral activities with traditional crisis intervention/emergency health services (2000, p. 141)”. With this definition, one can see the important role chaplains play in helping individuals in crisis, whether due to terrorist action, natural disaster, violent crime, sudden death, or even near death in hospice or hospital settings.  Chaplains are not to evangelize the Gospel but grant peace and spiritual presence.  In some cases, they may be called to find a representative of the person’s faith, other times, they may be working with one of the same faith, but ultimately the goal is to treat all of humanity not only one of a particular faith.  In this regard, chaplains must be trained in multi faiths and multicultural counseling competencies to better speak and help others in different faiths.  In addition, chaplains are sometimes not even called to discuss spirituality because secular individuals in crisis may not wish to speak about it.  Chaplains, especially those on crisis scenes are called to respect the wishes of others and bring calm and restoration of pre-crisis state of mind.

Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Specialist Certification and also AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Certification

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Program, as well as AIHCP’s Pastoral Thanatology Program.  Both AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Specialist Certification and Pastoral Thanatology Certification are online and independent study with mentorship as needed.  The programs lead to four year certifications for qualified professionals.

Resources

Evenly, G. (2000) “The Role of Pastoral Crisis Intervention in Disasters, Terrorism, Violence and Other Community Crises”. International Journal of Emergency Mental Health.

James, R. & Gilliland, B. (2017). Crisis Intervention Strategies (8th). Cengage

Mitchell, J. “The Meaning of Assistance”.

Additional Resources

“National Hotline for Mental Health Crises and Suicide Prevention”. Naomi. Access here

Davies, B. (2023). “Crisis Intervention: Techniques and Strategies”.  NWA Crisis Center. Access here

Cherry, K. (2022). “How Crisis Counselors Help People Coping With Trauma”. VeryWellMind. Access here

“A Chaplain’s Role in Times of Crisis”. (2019). Christian Reformed Church” The Network.  Access here

 

 

Crisis Intervention Counseling Program Article on Discussing the Threat of Suicide

Suicide is a serious issue.  When someone shows signs or reaches out for help regarding suicidal thoughts, it is important that the first person who discovers is able to say the right things and do the right things.  An individual with suicidal thoughts may have serious plans or it may be a fleeting thought but one cannot take the chance until a thorough discussion has occurred.  There are certain signs and also certain things that need to be said during this conversation to ensure the safety of the person considering or speaking of suicide.

A suicidal cry for help should never be overlooked. Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Counseling Program

 

The article, “How To Help Someone At Risk Of Suicide” by Rhitu Chatterjee discusses how to help individuals facing suicidal thought.  She states,

“The pandemic has taken a heavy emotional toll on many people, and if you know someone struggling with despair, depression or thoughts of suicide, you may be wondering how to help.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Suicide is a serious claim by anyone and to turn a blind eye to it is a serious error.  Please also review AIHCP’s Crisis Intervention Counseling Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to those looking for a four year certification in Crisis Intervention.