Low Self Esteem and Depression

Self esteem is critical to an emotional, mental and healthy life.  A good self image helps one to live with confidence, approach goals, complete tasks, and find value in oneself.  It is essential to find value in oneself and to find oneself worthy of love.   Hence cultivating a healthy self esteem is important to a personal, academic, professional and social life.

Low self esteem is an inaccurate self perception with reality. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Self esteem issues can go in two different directions.  An inflated self esteem can lead one down an egotistical and narcissistic road with various anti social disorders.  It can lead to delusions and foolish endeavors.  In essence, it is not in balance with reality.   Self esteem can also take an opposite dark road in which one finds no value in oneself and this can lead to depression, loss opportunities, poor health and possible suicide.   This article will investigate the later and in particular how one can deal with self esteem and depression.

The article, “How to Manage Low Self-Esteem” by Corey Whelan looks in detail how low self esteem can derail a life, its sources and how to overcome it.  She states,

“Everyone has moments of doubt about who they are and what they’ve achieved. You may do or say something that makes you temporarily ashamed of or annoyed with yourself. Those temporary or periodic feelings are not the same as low self-esteem.  Low self-esteem refers to long-term negativity about who you are and how you show up in the world. These negative feelings can be persistent and hard to challenge.  For example, if someone compliments you, you may not believe them. If you achieve a goal, you may not allow yourself to take credit for it.”

“How to Manage Low Self-Esteem”. Whelan, C. (2022). Healthline.

To review the article, please access here

Low Self Esteem

Causes of low self esteem range from various issues suffered at a younger age.  Hyper critical parents or family can damage a child’s development.  When a child is unable to meet certain psycho social goals within his/her age the child can be prevented from forming independence and the ability to do things.  When a child is shamed for pushing forward, the impulse to be something greater can also be hampered.  Hence due to criticism or inability to progress to new stages of development that highlight independence and creativity can greatly affect a child’s self esteem and provide future issues in advancement in life.  Other forms of criticism include body shaming and bullying.  These type of parental and as well peer abuse can cause severe self image issues within the person.

In addition, many children are unable to form healthy and supportive bonds due to attachment issues with parents.  When children are not given security and love, then they become insecure and anxious.  They begin to question themselves and find themselves not worthy of love or capable of being loved.  These haunting memories of unloved childhood also cause great damage to self esteem.

Trauma and abuse also play a key role in lowering self esteem.  Children of abuse, especially sexual abuse, feel dirty and unclean.  They feel unable to be loved or love and consider themselves broken.  This is often the case because the abuser not only physically assaults the child, but to protect himself/herself creates a illusion within the child’s mind that it is the child’s fault.  The child then is haunted and unable to report the abuse and continues to feel broken and dirty.

Untrue Thoughts

Many with low self esteem have a inaccurate self image of self.  Either through body shaming or verbal and mental abuse, the person feels they are worthless and amount to nothing.  Many feel ugly, or dumb, or unlovable.  They hence attach to any form of connection, even if unhealthy.  A person with low self esteem is unable to see the value in oneself and is unable to move forward with confidence, accept compliments, boast of achievements, or recognize individual talent within oneself.   A person with low self esteem has a difficult time accepting challenges, or attempting harder feats and will surrender before one even tries to do something.  A person with low self esteem will feel unworthy, untalented and incapable of great things.    Hence, a person will self esteem is unable to take criticism well and will amplify normal comments and make these comments more than what they truly are.

Those with low self esteem have poor self image that is not correlated with truth or reality

 

A person with low self esteem also has difficulty trusting one’s own instincts.  Low self esteems restricts creativity and trust of self to do something.  One needs constant coaching or discussion with others to engage in something.  Also, low self esteem prevents boundaries.  A person with low self esteem has a difficulty saying no to others and will find oneself doing things one does not really want to do. Hence low self esteem turns an individual into a people pleaser instead of looking out for oneself.

Dangerous Road

Those with low self esteem suffer physically, emotionally and mentally.  Physically, they tend to take less care of themselves.  They feel ugly and feel little need to care for oneself via grooming and exercise.  This can lead to un-healthy life styles.  Emotionally and mentally, one may punish oneself for false perceptions of being a failure.  This can lead to self mutilation, self harm, risky behavior,  drug addiction and drinking, depression,  suicidal ideation and possible suicide attempts.  In addition, it can prevent someone from achieving positive and happy experiences due to fear or rejection. Hence less chance for friendship, love and academic and professional success.

Overcoming Low Self Esteem

It is difficult for someone to overcome self esteem because one is blinded by a false perception.  The person lives in a mirage of falsehood. Only till one is opened to reality can one start to escape the dark veil of low self esteem.  This takes time, counseling and reframing of self.  One can begin to rehabilitate self image through small goals and achievements.  Whether it is a hobby, gym work, or academic and professional goals, one can begin to objectively calculate success and find to one’s amazement that these objective successful achievements coincide with not someone else but oneself.  Hygiene, personal pride and goal setting can all play key roles in awakening someone to one’s best potential. Counselors can also help those with self esteem with positive affirmations, journaling and finding ways to surround oneself with positive people and energy instead of negative ones.

Overcoming low self esteem when dealing with depression can be an even more difficult feat.  Depression already prevents one from finding joy in life.  If one already is suffering from low self esteem, one will quickly travel down a darker road.   Depression is usually correlated with lower self esteem and can become a result of constant gloomy outlooks on life.  Those suffering from low self esteem and depression should constantly look to post positive affirmations about self and try to brag about life.  They should write down positive things and journal.  They should set realistic goals and avoid comparisons.  They should also and most importantly be kind to oneself.  Those with low self esteem and depression are their own worst critics.  Self love is critical in these cases.

Conclusion

Self image needs to be balanced.  It cannot become narcissistic but it cannot become deflated.  It needs to find a happy balance with reality that is optimistic and able to help a person reach one’s fullest potential.  Unfortunately, many suffer childhood bullying, criticisms and abuse which greatly affects their development and hence self esteem.  This can lead to bad physical, emotional and mental health which can develop into possible depression or even suicide.  It is important to identify low self esteem find help and incorporate strategies to improve self image.  If dealing with depression or other trauma, a licensed counselor can help one find better self image.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

AIHCP also offers a certification in Grief Counseling for qualified professionals in the healthcare and mental healthcare fields.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a certified Grief Counselor.

Additional Resources

“9 Tips for Strengthening Self-Esteem When You Have Depression”. Coelho, S. (2022). PyschCentral.  Access here

“11 Signs of Low Self-Esteem”.  Cherry, K.  (2023). VeryWellMind. Access here

“Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself”. Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022). Mayo Clinic. Access here

“Signs of Low Self-Esteem”. WebMed Editorial Contributers. (2022). WedMed.  Access here

 

Grief Counseling Certification Blog on Certified Grief Counselors

Everyone experiences loss.  It is part of human existence to lose.  One of the scariest realities is that no matter how happy we may one day be, what we have will one day be taken.   Any family member we love, will one day die, or any object we cherish, we can one day lose or have it stolen.  This is the precarious situation of life itself.  Understanding loss and how we adjust to it is hence very important.   Loss is the price of love and attachment hence grief is unavoidable.  Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification Program

A certified grief counselor can help with basic loss. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification

 

Individuals eventually need help with coping over loss.  Some individuals experience greater loss than others and turn to help.  Certified grief counselors can help with basic loss and licensed counselors can offer more indepth help for complications in grief.   Grief Support groups can also help aide for those seeking answers to the mystery of love and loss.

The article, “Turning to Grief Counseling When You Need Help” by Melissa Porrey looks at how grief counselors can help with a variety of grief issues.  She states,

“If you are unsure whether you are experiencing grief or finding it challenging to work through bereavement, grief counseling can offer support and helpful ways to bring meaning to the loss and allow you to move forward through your grief.  This article will define grief, provide an overview of grief counseling, and offer ways to find a grief therapist.”

To read the entire article, please click here

If you are looking to help individuals with grief you can also play a role.  Certified grief counselors are professionals in health and mental health fields.  Some are in ministry, or social services.   While not all grief counselors are licensed counselors, many can help with the basics of loss.  AIHCP offers a four year certification in Grief Counseling.  The Grief Counseling Certification is online and independent study and open to those qualified professionals.  Please review and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.

Certified Grief Counselor Article on Grief Counseling

Grief Counseling is more needed than it is used unfortunately.  Many people drift away and allow pain and loss to negatively affect them.  They sometimes do more damage by hiding grief.  Grief Counseling is for basic loss.  It can help one heal and cope better with loss and prevent pathological later reactions to grief.  Certified grief counselors can play key roles in helping others deal with basic grief loss.

Learn more how to become a certified grief counselor by reviewing AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your professional goals.

 

The article, “Demystifying Grief Counseling: Five FAQs” from Whats Your Grief looks at the importance of grief counseling.  The article states,

“First, we want to clarify what we mean by ‘grief counseling’. When we use the terms ‘grief counseling’, we’re using it to mean any type of one-on-one, couples, or family therapy, provided by a licensed counselor, to someone(s) who experienced a significant loss. Ideally, the counselor will have experience and expertise related to grief and bereavement, though their backgrounds will vary. ”

It is important to realize that licensed counselors can provide more indepth counseling beyond basic loss.  Many licensed counselors are also grief certified.  Qualified professionals who are not licensed can provide basic grief support but not beyond the basic elements of loss.  To read the entire article, please click here

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training for certified grief counselors.  The program is open to qualified professionals who are looking for an online and independent study program

 

Certified Grief Counselor Article on the Complexity of Grief

Grief while universal is definitely also unique and very complex.  The complexity of grief leads to a variety of reactions to loss due to multiple different origins.

Learn more about becoming a certified grief counselor and how to help others overcome the complexity of grief

The article, “The Grief Experience: Survey Shows It’s Complicated” by Koenig takes a closer look at the complexity of grief.  She states,

“Many of us have the misperception that there’s a right way to grieve, and most people think they’re doing it wrong,” says Donna Schuurman, a family therapist and senior director of advocacy and training and at the Dougy Center, a Portland, OR, nonprofit that helps people deal with the death of a loved one. “We live in a society that wants us to get over it and move on.”

To read the entire article, please click here

Grief will always be a complicated emotion to fully understand but we can help others grieve in a healthy way.  We can understand the reasons behind each case and help those individuals cope with their grief in effective ways.  Please also review our Grief Counseling Courses and see if you would like to become a certified Grief Counselor.

Certified Grief Counselor Article on Unresolved Grief

In grief and loss, we speak about tangible losses, losses, we can summarize, quantify, and then adjust and adapt to that loss.   Whether it is the loss of a family member, or a relationship, or a precious thing, one can accept the fact that it gone and proceed with the healing processes of grief.  The process of grief and adjusting to loss, however, is disrupting when unresolved grief occurs.

Unresolved grief can have many long term affects on a person. Please review our Certified Grief Counselor Program
Unresolved grief can have many long term affects on a person. Please review our Certified Grief Counselor Program

What exactly is unresolved grief?  Unresolved grief is a type of complication in the grieving process that prevents a natural and healthy conclusion to the loss.  It prevents the person from accepting the loss, or moving forward in a healthy fashion.  It leaves the person in a type of perpetual mental limbo.

This type of reaction can be internally or externally caused.  If one has issues with the deceased that were never resolved, then an emotional soup of various feelings can emerge with no particular direction towards resolution.   This can occur, especially with such cases as suicide, as well as with sudden death of a loved one.   In some cases, there are unresolved emotional issues between the person and deceased that were never resolved while both were alive.   This can lead to unresolved feelings later.

Apart from internal causes, external causes can put one in a state of unresolved grief.  When a loved one is abducted or missing, then this can lead to a perpetual state of unresolved feelings.  This is perhaps one of the greatest pains a parent can feel because they are in perpetual fear and anxiety of what has happened to their child.   If the case never comes to a conclusion, the parents are never mentally allowed to find acceptance in the fact their child is probably dead.   Without a proper funeral, justice, or verification, the parents and family can be scarred traumatically.

So many individuals suffer grave injustices in the world.   From fugitives who escape justice to mass genocide, individuals who survive these crimes, face not only personal recovery, but also a resolution in regards to justice and the conclusion found in that justice.  When justice is not handed out, the unresolved grief festers within the soul and demands justice to finally give them and the victims peace.  This was especially true of the Holocaust survivors who faced not only their recovery from the person trauma, but also the demand of social justice against the criminals who perpetrated the crimes.

Through trials and justice, many find the conclusion they need to finally heal completely from the loss.   Seeing a murderer or rapist brought to trial, gives the victim and families the closure they need to be able to rebuild their life.   Without that closure, the unresolved issues of their grief will continue to haunt them.

Unresolved grief itself can cause anxiety, depression, lead to eruptions of anger and frustration, leaving the person in a state of emotional limbo.   It is because of this, that clients need help in understanding what they can control and what they cannot.  It takes more than merely a certified grief counselor but also a licensed mental counselor with grief training to help an individual through unresolved grief.

If you would like to learn more about Grief Counseling or would like to become a certified Grief Counselor, then please review our program and see if it matches your academic and professional needs.

 

Grief Myths: Illustrated

A few weeks back we published a post called 64 Myths About Grief that Just Need to Stop.  Today, I’m going to illustrate a few of these grief myths because my brain is too fried right now to compose complete sentences. Anyways, sometimes it takes a good stick figure to drive the absurdity of certain thoughts …

Sourced through Scoop.it from: www.whatsyourgrief.com

Good article about grief myths.  This article is good for those grieving and grief counselors who wish to truly understand the nature of grief.

If you would like to become a certified grief counselor then please review the program and see if it matches your educational and professional needs

#certifiedgriefcounselor

Good Grief: Rage Against the Machine

What do we want to do right when we witness the world go sideways? So many of us dig deep and desire to respond, act and maybe even make a difference. I know, I get that more than many, as I work with families on the brink of crisis

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Social and communal grief can enrage a community.  We have seen this in the recent police killings–some that were justified and others that were not.  In cases, communal grief can be utilized in a healthy fashion or grief can turn into rage and anger which it is known to do.  This is discounting the the thieves and thugs who have no interest but are merely looking for a reason to break things.

With this in mind, how can we help communities better express their grief?

If you would like to become a certified grief counselor, then please review the program

#certifiedgriefcounselor

64 Children’s Books About Death and Grief – What’s Your Grief

When grief hits a family, children often become the focus – how to talk to them about death, how to recognize if they are grieving ‘normally’, how to create open communication and dialogue. etc.

Source: www.whatsyourgrief.com

Good article listing 64 books about death and grief for children.  Children can utilize these books to prepare or learn from an experience what death and grief are.

If you would like to become a certified grief counselor, then please review the program and see if it matches your academic and professional needs,

#becomeacertifiedgriefcounselor

8 Reasons Why Winter is the Worst (for grievers)

What’s cold, icy, really uncomfortable, and sometimes makes you sad? Gosh darn winter, that’s what. You can spare me your affinity for skiing, fresh fallen snow and curling up by a warm fire because I will swiftly counter with wet socks, slush, and lack of sunlight.

Source: www.whatsyourgrief.com

An excellent article on Winter and those who are going through the grieving process.  This article looks over 8 reasons why winter is the worst for grievers.

If you are grieving, see what relates and see if you can help yourself in regards to some of the issues that may be affecting you beyond the grief

If you would like to become a certified grief counselor, then please review the program

#certifiedgriefcounselor

Applications of a Certified Grief Counselor

What Exactly is a Certified Grief Counselor?

Believe it or not, people confuse the nature of Grief Counseling with many things that it is not.   Grief Counseling does not deal with pathologies, but the simple emotion of loss and the re-adaptation to that loss.   A certified Grief Counselor, without a counseling license issued by the state, does not possess the training or skill to deal with depression or complicated grief.

In this regard, a person who is a certified Grief Counselor, may or may not be a licensed counselor.  Licensed counselors may very well seek out a certification in Grief Counseling as a professional attachment to their already glowing resume, but as a certification, this is voluntary.

Hence a certified Grief Counselor is a trained professional who helps people deal with loss and readjustment to that loss.  The loss can vary from the death of a loved one to a loss of a job and anything in between.  As a trained professional, a certified Grief Counselor, as mentioned, can already be a licensed counselor who can deal with deeper issue of grief, or any health care professional.   Other professional candidates for Grief Counseling Certification include those in Social Work, Ministry, Funeral Services, or Hospice.

If non of these professions apply, an approved degree in the Health Science or Social Sciences can be applicable for eligibility.

The American Academy of Grief Counseling requires that their certified Grief Counselors meet these requirements, as well as completion of four basic core courses in Grief Counseling.  These independent study courses with mentorship, help the student grasp the basic of the nature of grief and how to help individuals suffering from it.  Theories and practical counseling techniques are taught in these courses and help the qualified professional achieve the educational background necessary to successfully grief counsel.

Those seeking employment in Grief Counseling can coach/counsel at the grassroot level or work in conjuction with a variety of healthcare institutions, schools, funeral homes, social programs, hospices, or church ministries.

The need for Grief Counseling and certified Grief Counselors is always great because all humans grieve.  It is the nature of a person to experience loss.  With this in mind, the career of a certified Grief Counselor is not just a job but also a vocation to the suffering

If you are interested in learning more about Grief Counseling Education or would like to become a certified Grief Counselor, then please review the program.

AIHCP