Sunday Worship: An Option?

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling: The Parable of the Great Feast and Us

Christ spoke of a great feast.  Many were invited to this feast but no-one came.  In response, the host told his servants to invite others along the wayside to come and partake of the feast he had prepared.  Some were good while others were evil.  The good were properly dressed in wedding garments, while the evil arrived in rags.  These evil ones were cast away while the good partook in the feast.  What can be gained from a Christian Counseling perspective from this parable found in Matthew 22:1-14?
This parable correlates with Sunday Service, Mass or Liturgy.  The feast is the celebration of the Eucharist where Christ calls upon many to come but very few attend.  While the original Jewish community rejected Christ, the Gentile population embraced him.  These new guests represent the new Church.  However there within the Church exists many who are spiritually distorted from the will of Christ.  These souls are dressed in “rags” and while attending the feast are unworthy of its graces.  Those of the Christian community who have a sincere love of Christ are the souls dressed in fine wedding garments.
This translation of the parable leads Christians to much spiritual thought.  First, how ignorant it is to deny the invitation of Sunday worship which is a taste of eternal life in heaven.  Second, how spiritually prepared are people for reception of the Eucharist?  Do we enter into church with indifference and various spiritual maladies or do we enter into church with devout love for Christ?
Christian Counselors must emphasize to their spiritual children the importance of weekly church Service, Mass or Liturgy.  This is food for the soul.  Our Lord asks very little of his people.  At the bare minimum he asks for one hour out of an entire week and sixty-two hours out of a year.  This adds up to roughly two in a half days out of three hundred and sixty five days of the year!
The secular mind places such importance upon sporting events and concerts.  It is a horrible misfortune for the materialistic mind to miss kick off or to not arrive early for the best seats at a concert.  Yet Sunday worship is reduced to a mere footnote and a family custom that is more of a bother than a blessing.  Even worst, some consider it merely an option.  This is just not among materialists but also so-called Christians who pick and choose the days of worship that fit them best.  Some even proclaim a false doctrine that they can worship God from their home and that organized worship is not part of the third commandment in keeping holy the Sabbath.
Yet despite all the reasoning and excuses, true Christians recognize the invitation to the feast as a call from Christ to attend weekly worship with a sincere and loving heart.
If you are interested in Christian Counseling Courses, please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA

Christian Counseling Online Program: Christ’s Human Nature: A Counseling Paradigm for All Spiritual Maladies

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling Should Utilize Christological Principles

Christ’s human nature is a divine mystery tied to the Hypostatic Union or as stated in Scripture when “the Word became Flesh”.  This miraculous fusion of natures gives much for meditation and thought but also serves as an excellent paradigm for Christian Counseling.  Through it, Christ becomes the ultimate example for any spiritual malady men may face.  His example consists in his victory over any temptation.

The Importance of the Hypostatic Union

The mystery of the Hypostatic Union transcends all human reasoning.  Our reason must acquiescence to faith and our spiritual eyes must see what our physical eyes can never understand.  This is not illogical by rational beings to suspend such rationale to such a unique mystery but on the contrary is logical to restrain our intellectual hubris.  In doing so we are able to accept the mysteries of the infinite and their innate superiority over our finite limitations.  With this, one must accept as an article of faith this mystery and the reality and importance of the Hypostatic Union.
There are three elements that the Logos hoped to give mankind through his incarnation.  The first two deal with theological issues and the final element deals with counseling.  First, the necessity of a God-man became apparent after the fall of Adam.  A infinite debt was required to be repaid via a finite source.  The offending finite party needed a representative; a high priest, yet the offending party could not pay this reparation.  Due to this, an infinite source, the Logos, became flesh and fused his nature with a human nature in order to offer and be offered as the perfect sacrifice.
Second, the union provided a relational correspondence between God and man that previously could not exist with an immutable being.  Through the Incarnation, the Logos via his human nature became relational and open to change within this miraculous union of divine and human.  The love between God and man could now experience a new level of intimacy that involved emotion and a unique brotherhood.

The Church Proclaims

Before we enter into the counseling benefits and their application of the Incarnation or Hypostatic Union, let us review what the Church proclaims regarding Christ.  The Christian Church teaches that Christ is both divine and human but one person.  In the early church, many would attempt to unify natures or divide natures within the personhood of Jesus Christ.  In those instances, various councils triumphantly silenced the Christological heresies.  Nicaea in 325 proclaimed Christ, the Logos, as co-eternal and consubstantial with the Father.  Ephesus in 433 declared Mary as not mother of Christ’s human nature but the actual ‘Theotokos” or Mother of God.  This proclamation prevented the division of Christ’s natures and recognized his unique and single personhood.  Chalcedon in 450 reinforced the polar opposite.  Those of wrong opinion suggested that Christ consisted of one nature instead of two natures–hence creating a mixed nature that was neither fully divine or human.  Finally, in 481, the Council of Constantinople pointed out that Christ did indeed have two natures as well as two wills.  The heretical opinion hoped to suggest that Christ while possessing two natures, only had the will of the Logos and not the soul of a man.  In this teaching, it was affirmed that Christ had a created human soul that was unified with the Logos in the Hypostatic Union.  In this way, Christ’s full human integrity was protected from heretical interpretation–for Scripture teaches that Christ was like us in everything but sin.

Christian Counseling Application

Applying the beauty of the Hypostatic Union to Christian Counseling is an important way for people to see Christ as a true paradigm.  Christ’s human nature, the new Adam, is a beacon of light in the storm of the temporal reality.  It illuminates all men in how a human being is to react to temptation in this world.  Christ’s human nature, untainted by Original Sin, still nevertheless faced temptation.  One can see this during the Forty Days in the Desert and the intense Agony of the Garden.  In the desert,  Lucifer attempted to turn the soul of our Lord.  He promised him power and other luxuries if he would simply forsake the Father and worship him.
Do not think that such wonderful things did not tempt our Lord.  Have we not wanted fine things in this life when spiritual things should have been first?  Our Lord, as a man, desired wonderful things but his will was in such perfect union with his divine side and that of the Father that he would never separate the path laid before him.  Yes he is perfectly God, but in his perfect humanness he felt true temptation.  His body was not a mere shell or a phantasm as the early gnostics would contend, but was true flesh.  However, unlike Adam, Christ’s will would not be bent by the whiles of the world or the seductions of the serpent.  Instead, Christ would teach humankind how to hold true to the will of the Father.  In this, one truly can marvel at Christ.  He is not a mere demi-god who feels no pain or temptaiton but instead voluntarily submits himself to these things.  In this Christ as a person, both divine and human, does not preach from a lofty throne in heaven but instead teaches us through his own example; an example that led to submission of his own will even unto a painful death that he accepted with the sweat of blood.

So as we walk our journey and attempt to conform our wills to that of our Master, Jesus Christ, can we see ourselves binding our will to the Father as Christ’s human soul did?  When we are tortured by our passions regarding sex, desire, fame, disobedience, sloth or any other vice, we need to only realize that these same internal wishes were presented to our Lord and as a man he conquered them.
Praise be to Jesus Christ, two natures, two wills, but ONE PERSON–Our God.
Please utilize these Christological principles in your own Christian Counseling.
The Christian Counseling Online Program at AIHCP offers courses for Christian Counselors and other qualified professionals.  The Christian Counseling Online Program consists of a variety of courses that after completion lead to certification.

Mark Moran, MA

A Stress Management Certification Can Lead to Stress Reduction.

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Relax And Reduce Stress With These Stress Management Certification Tips

At 7 a.m., you wake up, make coffee, drag yourself to work for 8 hours, come home, lather, rinse, and repeat. Dealing with the daily grind can take a lot out of a person and be exceptionally stressful! This article provides many helpful tips and tricks to managing your stressful everyday life.
Close your eyes and visualize a calm scene. This scene may be different for everybody, but studies show that this is a viable method for reducing stress. Try to remember the last time you felt warm, cozy, happy and relaxed. Put your mind back into that situation. If you can’t think up anything, imagine you are a lump of butter, under the hot, soothing sun. Feel yourself melting, melting, until you are totally relaxed.
Visualization is a very effective way to manage stress. Picture yourself at the beach, walking through your favorite vacation spot or relaxing in a hot bath. Several studies conducted have shown the positive effects of visualization. Stress can be instantly reduced by using this technique.
One way to ensure that you are able to deal with stress in your life is to make sure that you get enough sleep. Without the proper amount of sleep, your body and mind are not fully able to recover and you will not be in the best shape for making decisions and dealing with possible stress causing situations.
Stress can have a tremendous effect on the amount and types of food that we eat. We may have the tendency to gorge on junk food when we are stressed. Our stomachs may be so upset by the stress that we can barely eat anything. Either reaction is potentially dangerous. Minimizing your stress level can radically improve your dietary choices.
One way to figure out the root reason for your stress is to take a few minutes and a piece of paper, and write down all of the things on your mind that you need to accomplish. Then link the items that are causing you to feel stressed, make a plan for accomplishing them and set out to complete them.
One great tip for relieving stress is clearly know and define your priorities in life, as they will help you stay focused on what must be accomplished. When you lose sight of your goals and priorities, you will become unfocused, confused, and go off track, which will easily result in stress.
With a stress management certification you will learn about guided imagery. This is when you close your eyes and picture yourself in the most calming surroundings. This has to be a place where you would feel calm and relaxed and not have distractions all around you. Picture every small detail of your quiet place and concentrate on them. You will feel much better in a few minutes.
If you are out and about for the majority of the day, you will constantly be in the light. When you get home, one thing that you should do is dim the lights as low as possible. Light puts a lot of tension on the eyes, which can elevate your stress level.
Listen to calming music. When you are feeling stressed out, one of the best things to do is to put on some soothing music and listen. Have some relaxing music available so that when you start feeling stressed you can just put on some music and distract yourself with the sounds.
To help yourself relax during a long day at work, be sure to leave the office for lunch. Even if you just step outside to eat your bagged lunch in the park, getting away from your office can do wonders to decrease your stress. A 15 to 20 minute break from your environment makes a long day a whole lot easier to cope with.
Do not fight against the things that are in your life that stress you out that you cannot avoid. If you accept the fact that those things are in your life to stay, you are sure to find that you are far less stressed about them all of the time. Acceptance is important in these situations.
Now that you have learned a bit about stress management, you can get out there and enjoy the finer things in life! Everyone experiences stress in their life and it can happen for many reasons, but knowing how to manage stress is the key to success. Now go get yourself some much needed beauty sleep!

Substance Abuse Continues to Plague America

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Substance Abuse Is Still High Among Americans

Substance Abuse remains to be an issue in America as high rates of addiction continue to plague our nation.   It is a problem that needs to be addressed with compassion and proper training.   Many addicts use drugs and alcohol as a way to not deal with issues they are facing.   The physical addiction then makes sure they are sunk into substance abuse.

LJ Anderson writes in his article, “The Changing Face of American Addictions” about the continued problem of addiction.

“A study released by The Partnership at Drugfree.org in March showed that 10 percent of American adults, ages 18 and over, consider themselves in recovery from drug or alcohol abuse. The organization’s president, Steve Pasierb, described the findings as a reminder that “addiction is a treatable disease and recovery can be a reality.”

The article from Mercurynews.com can be fully read by clicking here.

There are people in the world that believe they can stand up and make a difference.   These people are substance abuse counselors.   They are trained in ways to help addicts break their addiction and get back to normal productive lives.   If you would like to learn more about substance abuse counseling, please click here.

Christian Counseling Courses: The Inner Essence of Prayer

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling People to a Better Prayer Life

In past blogs, we discussed the external nature of prayer, its purposes and benefits.  In this blog, I would like to discuss key points that should be highlighted in one’s prayer life.  Many of these ideas stem from St. Teresa of Avila and other saints whose experience in meditative prayer far outweigh our own.  However before delving deeper into prayer itself, I think we can find the core of prayer found in the words of Christ in the “Our Father“.
Our Lord taught us a few key concepts in the “Our Father”.  First, charity abounds in the “Our Father”.  It adores the Father and seeks forgiveness for one’s enemies.  Second, petition of needs is addressed through the phrase “give us this day our daily bread”.  Yet in this petition, Jesus reminds us that it is the will of the Father that must supersede our own.  Third, contrition of one’s sins is found in the prayer along with spiritual aid against evil.  Of course thanksgiving is implied throughout the prayer and is an essential element of  the prayer.  From these standards, we find the key elements of adoration, petition, contrition and thanksgiving.
Yet it is so amazing to hear when people ask how should I pray.  While ritualistic prayers are wonderful, some people merely mumble the words without any true thought.  Others have no idea on what to say.  The simple reality is love.  If you love God, there is no true structure to follow but to simply love him and please him.  One will be filled with the spirit and find the necessary words to express one’s feelings.
As one delves deeper and deeper into a relationship with Christ, one can experience many exchanges with Christ.   Some can involve consolations or feelings of rapture and love.  Others could possibly involve visions of physical, spiritual or intellectual natures.  Some times in prayer one will experience an intense devotion, while in other sessions of prayer, one will experience an aridity due to no fault of their own.  In other circumstances, one may feel great certitude of what the Lord desires, while in other cases, one may doubt if it was the Lord or one’s own inner voice.
These are all the inner complexities of prayer life.  As one contemplates the life of Christ or invokes dialogue with the Lord, one can find his true voice through pure love, humility and union of will.  Discernment of our Lord’s will can come through a Christian Counselor or Spiritual Advisor who can help one through prayer life.  However, one can rest assured that it is from God if over time it produces good fruits, for the tricks of the evil one can never bring forth abundance of good.  Nor does the promises of the evil one produce fervent love of God or increase sanctity.  Instead, it produces a lack of peace and confusion.  St. Ignatius and St. Teresa both emphasize this fruit of Satan.  They remind us that as one progresses in prayer life, the devil will become troubled and become louder and attempt to ruin the peace.  These hardships should be endured and after they are recognized can be removed through obedience to a confessor or Christian counselor who will guide you away from them.

St. Teresa also emphasizes that our prayer life should seek no spiritual rewards or consolations or visions. Instead she emphasizes that we should prayer for the simple purpose of love.  Our Divine Majesty is owed this love without return of reward.  This is the best prayer.  One should embrace aridity in prayer to better show our Lord how deep our love is for him  Of course our Lord will not be out done in generosity.

I hope some of these ideas from Christ and his saints can aid Christian Counselors in their guidance of their spiritual children.  I will now add some insight from the words of experts on mystical prayer, namely the saints.
Souls that have no habit of prayer are like a lame and paralytic body, which, though it has hands and feet, cannot use them. Therefore, to abandon prayer seems to me the same thing as to lose the straight road; for as prayer is the gate through which all the graces of God come to us, when this is closed, I do not know how we can have any.—-St. Teresa
The soul that perseveres in the exercise of prayer, however many sins, temptations and falls of a thousand kinds the devil may oppose to it, may hold it for certain, after all, that the Lord will sooner or later rescue it from danger and guide it into the harbor of salvation.—-St. Teresa
Mental prayer consists in weighing and understanding what we are saying, Who it is to Whom we are speaking and who we are to have the courage to speak to so great a Lord. To have these and similar thoughts is properly to make mental prayer. Their opinion, however, is not to be followed who believe that its whole essence consists in thinking, so that if they can keep their thoughts fixed by a great effort, then they consider themselves very spiritual and men of prayer; but if they are able to do this no longer, and their attention wanders a little, even to good things, they imagine they are doing nothing. No, the substance of mental prayer, in my opinion, consists in nothing but conversing with God as with a friend. And so, to speak of this thing or of that to Him, Who, we know, loves us, is mental prayer.—-St. Teresa

If, while one is praying, he regards and considers the fact that he is conversing with God with more attention than the words that he utters, he is making vocal and mental prayer at once, which may be of much advantage to him. But if he does not consider with Whom he is speaking, nor what he is saying, it may be thought certain that, however much he may move his lips, he prays very little.—-St. Teresa
When the soul finds herself oppressed by aridity and sterility, she ought to make the prayer of reverence, confidence, and conformity to the Divine Will, standing in the presence of God like a poor man before his prince, making use of such words as express a loving submission to the Divine pleasure.—-St. Jane Frances de Chantal
Whoever wishes to profit by prayers should not take account of spiritual consolations. I know by experience that the soul which has started on this road with a full determination not to consider whether the Lord gives or denies him consolations and tenderness, and really acts on this determination, has already made a great part of the journey.—-St. Teresa
There is another thing which greatly afflicts those who give themselves to prayer. It is the distractions which often come and carry their thoughts, and their hearts too, hither and thither. They come at times from the mortification of the senses; at times with the soul being distracted in itself, and often because the Lord wills it, to try His servants. Now in such cases we must recall our thoughts from time to time, by reviving our faith in the presence of God, and by remaining before Him with reverence and respect. If we do not succeed in fixing them on the prescribed point, we must bear those annoyances and vexations with humility and patience. It will not be lost time, as at first sight it may appear, but such a prayer will sometimes be more fruitful than many others made with recollection and pleasure. For all the actions performed to banish or to endure these distractions, as they are done in order not to displease God, and to become better qualified for His service, are so many acts of the love of God.—-St. Teresa
The whole aim of whoever intends to give himself to prayer ought to be to labor, to resolve, to dispose himself, with all possible diligence, to conform his will to that of God. For in this consists all the highest perfection that can be acquired in the spiritual way.—-St. Teresa
Try to disengage yourself from so many cares, and take a little time to think of God and to rest in Him. Enter into the secret chamber of your heart, and banish from it everything save your Creator alone and what can help you to find Him; then having closed the door, say to Him, with all your soul: “Lord, I seek Thy Divine countenance—-teach me to find it!”—-St. Augustine

In mental prayer, we are not obliged to employ our intellect all the time. We can occupy ourselves in the presence of God by conversing and consoling ourselves with Him, without the weariness of formal considerations and choice words. We can represent to Him simply our necessities, and the cause He has for showing us mercy. For example, when we think of some part of the Passion, it is a good thing to make a consideration first, by meditating on the pains which Our Lord suffered in it. But let not the soul weary itself by seeking too long for this; let it rather sometimes remain still with Christ, and keeping the intellect inactive if possible, let it occupy itself, in thought, in looking upon Him; let it accompany Him, ask favors of Him, humble itself and console itself with Him, and remember that He did not deserve to be there. This method of prayer has many advantages.—-St. Teresa
We should set a high value on meditation upon the Passion of our Redeemer. For a simple remembrance or meditation upon this is worth more than if for a whole year one should take the discipline to blood, or fast on bread and water every week, or recite the whole psalter every day.—-Bl. Albertus Magnus
There is a certain method of practicing the presence of God, by which, if the soul chooses, she may remain always in prayer, and constantly inflaming with the love of God. This consists in realizing, in the midst of our occupations, that we are doing the will of God in each, and in rejoicing and being glad that it is so.—-St. Alphonsus Rodriguez
The highest and most perfect prayer is contemplation. But this is altogether the work of God, as it is supernatural and above our powers. The soul can only prepare itself for this prayer, and can do nothing in it. The best preparation is to live humbly, and to give ourselves in earnest to the acquisition of virtues, and especially, of fraternal charity and the love of God; to have a find resolution to do the will of God in all things; to walk in the way of the Cross, and to destroy self-love, which is a wish, on our part, to please ourselves rather than God.—-St. Teresa

I hope these quotes give some insight in one’s spiritual life.
If you are interested in Christian Counseling Courses, please review the program.
Mark Moran, MA

Pets Grieve

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Pets Grieve the Loss of Other Pets

In previous blogs we discussed the impact the loss of another pet can have on the surviving pet.  In this short blog, Jennifer Melvin, instructor for the Pet Loss Grief Program at AIHCP lists a few things to look out for in the surviving pet.

 

A dog’s reaction to the loss of a loved one, whether that be two legged or four, can be heartbreaking to watch. You may see the dog wandering around the house, sleeping in places it used to spend time with its companion or being “down”.  It is common for a dog to have behavioral and mood changes after a pet companion or person leaves and doesn’t return.  Most often what you might see is a decrease in appetite, being a bit more distant and melancholy or snuggling more and wanting more attention for reassurance.  Sometimes you’ll notice changes in their bathroom and elimination habits.  It’s not a lot different than humans in that the significance of the relationship is going to influence their reactions to the loss.  But, their support system is going to influence their movement through their grief.  So be patient, nurturing and soft with them.

In many ways, the surviving pet and you become partners in grief and can find solace in each others company as you grieve the loss of a mutual friend.

Mark Moran, MA

Obedience: A Bitter Gift

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling and Obedience

If union with God involves submission of our will to God’s will and making two wills become one, then how can one accomplish this feat without obedience.  Obedience is the ultimate bitter gift in which we surrender our own will to God’s will.  How can one surrender without the virtue of obedience?  How can one magically surrender to God, if throughout one’s life, they have manifested disobedience to all forms of authority?  Disobedience is a fruit of pride.  Lucifer in his pride, disobeyed God and refused to submit his will to the divine.
Christian Counseling sessions should seek to uproot any forms of disobedience within spiritual children.  Various exercises of obedience can be employed in which a spiritual child follows the advice of a spiritual superior without question.  Various spiritual tasks can be laid out for the spiritual child to perform within a period of time.  This in turn can lay foundations for spiritual obedience.  Spiritual children should also be encouraged to accept orders of superiors in any field of life as if from God.  Did not Christ tell Pontius Pilate that his authority came from above?  Hence, spiritual children should recognize all temporal authority is from heaven and that one must submit their will to that authority.
Through this submission comes the bitter gift of obedience.  It is bitter because it involves submitting one’s own will to another but it is a gift because it frees one from pride and opens one to the will of God.  When one’s will becomes united with Christ then and only then can true union with the Lord be accomplished.

As in my last blog, I will include various quotes from the saints regarding obedience.  If you have any quotes from scripture or other saints, please feel free to add them as a comment.
All things whatsoever that they command you, observe and do.—-Matt. 23:3

We all have a natural inclination to command, and a great aversion to obey; and yet, it is certain that it is more to our advantage to obey than to command. It is for this reason that perfect souls have so great an affection for obedience, and find in it all their delight-St. Francis De Sales
Obedience is, without doubt, more meritorious than any austerity. And what greater austerity can be thought of than that of keeping one’s will constantly submissive and obedient? —-St. Catherine of Bologna
Obedience is a penance of the soul, and for that reason a sacrifice more acceptable than all corporal penances. Thence it happens that God loves more the least degree of obedience in thee, than all the other services thou mayest think to render Him. —-St. John of the Cross
To pick up a straw from the ground through obedience is more meritorious than to preach, to fast, to use the discipline to blood, and to make long prayers, of one’s own will. —-St. Alphonsus Rodriguez

All the good of creatures consists in the fulfillment of the Divine Will. And this is never better attained than by the practice of obedience, in which is found the annihilation of self-love and the true liberty of sons of God. This is the reason why souls truly good, experience such great joy and sweetness in obedience. —-St. Vincent de Paul
The devil, seeing that there is no shorter road to the summit of perfection than that of obedience, artfully insinuates many repugnances and difficulties under color of good, to prevent us from following it. —-St. Teresa
That obedience may be complete, it must exist in three things: in execution, by doing promptly, cheerfully, and exactly whatever the Superior orders; in will, by willing nothing but what the Superior wills; in judgment, by being of the same opinion as the Superior. —-St. Ignatius Loyola
True obedience manifests itself in executing gladly and without any repugnance, things which are objects of antipathy or contrary to one’s interests. —-St. Alphonsus Rodriguez
A truly obedient man does not discriminate between one thing and another, or desire one employment more than another, since his only aim is to execute faithfully whatever may be assigned to him. —-St. Bernard
If you ever are conscious of impulses, thoughts, and judgments opposed to obedience, though apparently good and holy, do not admit them on any account, but reject them promptly, as you would thoughts against chastity or faith. —-St. John Climacus

It is not enough for obedience to do what is commanded. It must be done without debate, and must be looked upon as the best and most perfect thing possible, though it may seem and may even be the contrary. —-St. Philip Neri

Finally, let us follow the rule of our Divine Lord, who submitted his will to that of his father.  In perfect obedience, even unto death, our Lord, Jesus Christ, accepted the will of the father.  This is the perfect paradigm of obedience.

If you are interested in the Christian Counseling Program, please review the program.
Mark Moran, MA
 

It’s Raining Cats and Dogs! Pet Counseling Advice for the Multi Pet Home

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Cats and Dogs Together? Pet Counseling Advice

Tom is always chased by Butch, isn’t he?  The reality is that the old myth of dogs chasing cats is not always true.  In fact, if introductions are made correctly between dog and cat, they can co-exist.  It is always best for kittens and puppies to grow together but if not, there still are chances, depending on the pet’s attitude of allowing the lamb to lie with the lion.

Jennifer Melvin, instructor for AIHCP’s Pet Grief Counseling Program has these words for those with a multi species pet home.
It is understood that genetics and personality play a big part in how cats and dogs behave.  But the nature vs nurture theory is questioned when shows like the Dog Whisperer remind us that the pet’s environment may have more influence on their actions than we think.  So, when facing the want to co-mingle dogs & cats we must consider all aspects noted.  If dealing with good natured and calm tempered animals then you are a step ahead of the game.  You are at the front of the line if you get a puppy and kitten at the same time!  Regardless, follow some guidelines such as:  introduce the animals slowly, let them smell each other before they see each other, supervise their interactions, don’t mix toys or food or other objects they could be territorial over, be patient and attentive to both pets and give them space- all at the same time!  They will feed off your energy so be calm.  And, give them time.  When they have an opportunity to realize they can trust each other for a consistent period of time they will relax around the other and before you know it they will be curling up together for one of those cute and cuddly photos to post on Facebook!  Or- they at least won’t be growling, hissing or hiding all of the time.

If you are interested in pet grief counseling or other pet knowledge, please review our website.
Mark Moran, MA

Christian Perspective: What is True Union with God?

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Perspectives on Union with God

So many times we get caught up in the romance and excitement of anything in life.  The same is true with spirituality.  Many are deceived by false promises of Eastern religions that teach deification instead of unification.  New Agers, free lance spiritualists and other pseudo Christians speak of the marvels of the East and how one can astral project oneself or become unified with an entity and learn secret and lost wisdom.  Some also boast within the West of great raptures or locutions and visions.  Extraordinary miracles and spiritual favors are equal to union in their mind.  The Christian perspective does not see union in such ways and Christian Counselors need to guide their spiritual children away from such ideals.

While God sometimes does dispose upon the soul various gifts and charisms, union, at least in the temporal reality, is far from glamorous.  It involves a deviation from our fallen nature and a submission of our will to God’s will.  It demands humility, obedience and love of creator and aversion to materialism in this world.  Divine Union is not always filled with rapture but on many occasions is filled with aridity and solitude.  It on many occasions seeks one to choose the hard road instead of the easy road.  Yet be rest assured, one is traveling the correct road which will lead one to paradise when one seeks union with God.  As pilgrims in this temporal reality, union with God gives us a glimpse of heaven but for those who truly seek union, it is not about reward but only love.

Union is a love that is beyond the good feelings upon the outset of a relationship.  Instead it is the love that carries one from the hardships of day to day.  It seeks no reward but only reciprocity of love from the lover.  This type of union hopes to tie the soul to God so intimately, that the two wills become one.  Through this fervent and deep love, the soul progress spiritually while it learns to oppose its illicit desires.
I would like to list various quotes from saints on the issue on union.  These saints represent a universal theology of union that is applicable to both Protestant and Catholics.

The object of all virtues is to bring us into union with God, in which alone is laid up all the happiness that can be enjoyed in this world. Now, in what does this union properly consist? In nothing save a perfect conformity and resemblance between our will and the will of God, so that these these two wills are absolutely alike—-there is nothing in one repugnant to the other; all that one wishes and loves, the other wishes and loves; whatever pleases or displeases one, pleases or displeases the other.—-St. John of the Cross

Those deceive themselves who believe that union with God consists in ecstasies or raptures, and in the enjoyment of Him. For it consists in nothing except the surrender and subjection of our will with our thoughts, words and actions, to the will of God and it is perfect when the will finds itself separated from everything, and attached only to that of God, so that every one of its movements is solely and purely the volition of God. This is the true and essential union which I have always desired, and which I constantly ask of the Lord. Oh, how many of us there are who say this, and who think we desire only this! But, wretched that we are, how few are ever to attain it!—-St. TeresaUnion with God takes place in three ways: by conformity, by uniformity, and by deformity. Conformity is a complete subordination of our will to the Divine Will in all our actions, and in all occurrences and events, so that we will and accept all that God wills and sends, however painful and repulsive it may be. Uniformity is a close union of our will with the Divine Will, by which we will, not only all that God wills, but we will it solely because He wills it, and so all repugnance’s are banished. Deformity is a transformation which renders our will one with that of God, so that it is no longer conscious of itself, as if it were no longer in existence, but only feels in itself the Divine Will, and, as if it were changed into it, no longer desires in any of its acts and operations anything, even what is most holy, with or through the created will, but only in the uncreated, made its own by transformation.—-Fr. Achilles Gagliardi

So great is the delight which the Angels take in executing the will of God, that if it were His will that one of them should come upon earth to pull up weeds and root out nettles from a field, he would leave Paradise immediately and set himself to work with all his heart, and with infinite pleasure.—-Bl. Henry Suso

We ought to submit to the will of God, and be content in whatever state it may please Him to put us; nor should we ever desire to change it for another, until we know that such is His pleasure. This is the most excellent and the most useful practice that can be adopted upon earth.—-St. Vincent de Paul

Perfect resignation is nothing else than a complete moral annihilation of thoughts and affections, when one renounces himself totally in God, that He may guide him as He wills and pleases, as if one no longer knew or cared for either himself or anything else except God. It is thus that the soul, so to speak, loses itself in God, not, indeed as to its nature, but as to the appropriation of its powers.—-Bl. Henry SusoTo lose ourselves in God is simply to give up our own will to Him. When a soul can say truly, “Lord, I have no other will than Thine,” it is truly lost in God, and united to Him.—-St. Francis de Sales

If you give yourself to the practice of holy abandonment, though you may not perceive that you gain at all, you will, in fact, advance greatly, as it is with those who sail upon the open sea with favorable winds, trusting wholly to the care of the pilot.—-St. Francis de Sales
In this holy abandonment springs up that beautiful freedom of spirit which the perfect possess, and in which there is found all the happiness that can be desired in this life; for in fearing nothing, and seeking and desiring nothing of the things of the world, they possess all.—-St. Teresa

When we have totally abandoned ourselves to the pleasure of God, submitting without any reserve our will and affections to His dominion, we shall see our souls so united to His Divine Majesty that we shall be able to say with that perfect model of Christians, St. Paul: “In myself I no longer live, but Jesus Christ in me.”—-St. Francis de Sales

The soul which remains attached to anything, even to the least thing, however many its virtues may be, will never arrive at the liberty of the Divine union. It matters little whether a bird be fastened by a stout or a slender cord—-as long as he does not break it, slender as it may be, it will prevent him from flying freely. Oh what a pity it is to see some souls, like rich ships, loaded with a precious freight of good works, spiritual exercises, virtues and favors from God, which, for want of courage to make an end of some miserable little fancy or affection, can never arrive at the port of divine union, while it only needs one good earnest effort to break asunder that thread of attachment! For, to a soul freed from attachment to any creature, the Lord cannot fail to communicate Himself fully, as the sun cannot help entering and lighting up an open room when the sky is clear.—-St. John Chrysostom

To arrive at perfect union, there is needed a total and perfect mortification of the senses and desires. The shortest and most effectual method of obtaining it is this: As to the senses whatever pleasing object may offer itself to them, unconnected with pure love to God, we should refuse it to them instantly, for the love of Jesus Christ, who in this life neither had nor desired to have any pleasure except to do the will of His Father, which He called His food. If, for example, there should arise a fancy or wish to hear or see things which do not concern the service of God or lead especially to Him, we should deny this fancy, and refrain from beholding or hearing these things; but if this is not possible, it is sufficient not to consent with the will. Then as to the desires, we should endeavor to incline always to what is poorest, worst, most laborious, most difficult, most unpleasant, and to desire nothing except to suffer and be despised.—-St. John of the CrossWhen I see some persons very anxious about being attentive in prayer, and keeping their heads bowed while occupied in it, as if they did not dare to stir in the least, or to move even in thought, that the joy and sensible devotion they have may not leave them even in the slightest degree; this shows me how little they understand the road which leads to union, while they imagine that the whole affair consists in keeping their thoughts fixed. No, no, the Lord desires works. Therefore, when things present themselves to be done, to which obedience or charity obliges you, do not at all regard losing that devotion and enjoyment of God, that you may give Him pleasure by doing these things; for they will lead you more quickly than the others to holy union.—-St. Teresa

Self-will, as God says by the Prophet, is what spoils and corrupts our devotions, labors, and penances. Therefore, not to lose time and trouble, we must endeavor never to act from the impulse of nature, interest, inclination, temper, or caprice, but always from the pure and single motive of doing the will of God, and accustom ourselves to this in all things. This is the most effectual, nay rather the only means of arriving safely and quickly at union with God.—-St. Vincent de Paul

To attain union with God, all the adversities that He sends us are necessary; for His only aim is to consume all our evil inclinations from within and from without. Therefore, slights, injuries, insults, infirmities, poverty, abandonment by friends and relatives, humiliations, temptations of the devil and many other things opposed to our human nature—-all are extremely needed by us, that we may fight until by means of victories we have extirpated all our evil inclinations, so that we may feel them no longer. Nay more, until all adversities no longer seem bitter to us, but rather sweet for God, we shall never arrive at the divine union.—-St. Catherine of Genoa

As Christian Counselors who seek better meditative ideals, it is important to realize as we progress towards God that we must start simply loving God and submitting our will to him everyday.  We should do this without seek of reward but only love.  The rest will fall into place as Our Lord wills.

Mark Moran, MA

Humility is Truth

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Humility Reflects the True Nature of What We Are

Some people need to drink a “tall glass of reality”.  Their narcissistic self love dilutes their sense of reality and enhances their false value in the world.   Conquered by the vice of pride and guided by only material pursuits, they lose value of truth; the truth that without God we are nothing.  When counseling against the vice of pride, one must turn to the virtue of humility.
Humility is an important virtue because it reflects truth.  In the case of Christ, his humility reflected love.  Christ’s humility never reflected any insignificance since he was perfect but instead showed us how someone so powerful and mighty should act in this world.  His humility showed example and pure love.  So much love, that he allowed himself to be taken and crucified.  How much more are we asked to do?  How more important is humility to fallen creatures who are truly imperfect?  Our Lord, the perfect paradigm, teaches us that humility is a prerequisite for understanding our role in this world.   With this, how foolish do some stars or vain individuals seem when they boast or brag of such meager accomplishments?

If humility helps us reflect truth, then we should all strive for it.  We need to find it so we can find our true self and understand how truly helpless we are.  As Lucifer imaged himself greater than he was, we must emulate Mary who found herself, although a queen, a mere handmaid.  The important part is while Lucifer had delusions of grandeur, Mary understood, despite her great grace, that she nevertheless was a creature of God and anything given to her was a gift.  In reward for this great humility and understanding of reality, she would, as the Book of Revelations relates, crush the head of the serpent.

How can Christian Counselors help people who are plagued with delusions of greatness?   The first step is to open their eyes.  People need to understand that they are fallen creatures who without grace and the death of Christ would be pawns of Satan.  With the sin of Adam destroying their spiritual immune system, they would fall easily into sin and their own inherent distorted desires.  Hence, all good flows from one source and that source is Christ.  Second,  people must realize it is through grace that one is capable of good action.  Our fallen nature, while still retaining the image of God, nevertheless, is still weakened due to the sin of Adam.  Even though the ransom has been paid, the scars of Adam have left their mark on our souls.  In this temporal reality, we must strive and reach out to God for mercy and spiritual grace.  It is through this cry for help that man realizes he is nothing without the grace of God.
St. Teresa of Avila speaks about this in great detail.  She emphasizes that if one is praised for good, they should deflect the praise to the source of that good which is God.  If someone does something good, one should respond to praise with a simple remark: “The grace of Our Lord disposed me to this good action and I am thankful for that”.
The devil despises humility and he will attempt to uproot it with all his might.  He will give praise and exaltation for simply good works in hope of inflating one’s ego.  This is why the saints detested praise or remarks of sanctity.  It sincerely bothered them.  They feared the traps of the evil one and also understood their good works and deeds were only at the mercy of God and his grace.  They did not want any praise deflected from the savior to be tied to them.  This was not a false humility but a true fear.  Only after prayer and understanding did they realize it was the will of God that they share their talents and become physical examples and images for God’s greater glory.
In this way, any talent, or grace they possessed was acknowledged and not denied; however, it was acknowledged in such a way that it identified the source and gave thanks to that source.  We should strive in such ways as well because only through the uncracked mirror of humility can we see ourselves as we truly are.
If you are interested in learning about Christian Counseling, please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA