The classic four tasks of mourning of Worden are critical to the understanding of the process of grief. It involves the initial shock of acceptance, dealing with the grief, adjusting to it and forming a connection with the deceased that still permits one to form new relationships and live life. It is very similar to Kubler Ross ideals as well.
The four stages of the grief process are key to dealing with loss. Worden’s Four Tasks of grieving capture the whole scope of the process. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Unlike past grief theories which saw grief itself as an issue and pathology that needed removed, Worden’s tasks see grief as an instrumental part of dealing with loss. He sees grief as natural and something that must be dealt with and understood. Ultimately the price of grief is love. When we love, we form bonds. When those bonds are utterly torn apart, we experience loss. The pain associated with loss is grief. It is perfectly natural and hence, the stronger the bond, the stronger the grief.
It is important to deal with our grief. We cannot avoid the tasks of grieving or we will never recover a balance in life. A balance that permits one to acknowledge the loss, grieve it and miss, but also cherish it and live life. If one is grieving, it is essentially to review these tasks and ensure that one is properly dealing with one’s grief and working through it.
“What’s Your Grief” presented an excellent article on the topic. Entitled, “Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning” by Litsa Williams discusses the four tasks in greater detail. The article states,
“As we mentioned in that post, Kubler-Ross’s Five Stage model really put grief theory on the map by opening up the conversation about the dying process, death, and grief. Over the years other theories have emerged, many of which have transitioned from the concept of “stages” to the concept of “tasks”.
These tasks are best formulated by Worden. The article is quick to point out that this is a fluid process and any strict adherence can allude the subjective nature of grief of the particular individual. To read the entire article, please click here
For more knowledge and study on the science of grief and for those seeking certification as a Grief Counselor, then please review the American Academy of Grief Counseling and its Grief Counseling Certification. The program is online and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification.
It is not only hard to know what to say or not say to someone grieving a loss but it can also be difficult to know what type of gift or card to give them. Showing you care is one of the most important ways you can show sympathy and sometimes a gift speaks volumes to someone grieving.
What is the best way to type of gift to help someone who is grieving? Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The article, “30 gifts for someone dealing with grief” by Dana Holmes looks at different gifts you can give someone who is grieving. She states,
“Current circumstances make losing a loved one even more complicated and isolating than usual. Those dealing with loss right now have the added burdens of not being able to say a proper goodbye at the hospital or to honor the deceased at an in-person memorial. We also can’t support those most directly affected by the loss in ways we might want to — with a hug or a visit. So what should we do or give to help them cope?”
Helping others through grief is the duty of any friend or family member and the gifts listed can help others. To read the entire article and list, please click here
Please also review the American Academy of Grief Counseling’s Grief Counseling Certification to see if it matches your academic and professional goals.
Grief and loss equal change. The adaptation to change is the hardest thing to deal with when overcoming grief. Time is inherent with change. Hence many people can grieve over the issue of time itself. Time changes and alters things, places, people and status. One can mourn the past and fear the future or mourn their own inherent change and demise. Others realize that time pushes them further and further away from the passing of a loved one. Each new day adds to the initial separation and fear of forgetting.
Hence time can be the ultimate source of grief. The loss is time itself and the change and differences that occur over time. Individuals who are OCD or grieving or fearful of change will have a difficult time adjusting to any change. While grief over change occurs, we must remember that change is not always bad but sometimes is for the best. Good things can occur and if we live in constant fear of change, or grieve over how it used to be, then we may very well be missing the beauty of the present.
Time is change. For many change is the greatest source of grief. Please also review our Grief Counseling Program
One needs to identify the beauty of the day, remember the past and cherish it, but not allow it to dominate present happiness. Loss and change can still be valid sources of grief and those losses must be dealt with but fortunately as time passes, so does the ability to adjust to loss. While we may miss the past or someone from long ago, we can still learn and grow and appreciate the present.
The article, “Mourning the Passage of Time” by Eleanor Haley of “Whats Your Grief” looks at six aspects of time and grief. She states,
“Changes can cause a person to experience losses related to death, distance, estrangement, anticipatory grief, and grief over the transformation of a person who is still present”
Time truly can cause many griefs. Getting older, changing, losing people and places no longer being around, but these losses are part of life. Change is part of life and like grief, we must learn to adjust to change. We are linear creatures and time is a constant. Those who fear time and change, miss the meaning of life. Being able to understand and appreciate the present, cherish the past and face the future are better equipped to deal with the inherent pain of change that comes with it.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program. Qualified professionals can apply for a four year certification and become certified. Please review the program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.
Grief Counseling is more needed than it is used unfortunately. Many people drift away and allow pain and loss to negatively affect them. They sometimes do more damage by hiding grief. Grief Counseling is for basic loss. It can help one heal and cope better with loss and prevent pathological later reactions to grief. Certified grief counselors can play key roles in helping others deal with basic grief loss.
Learn more how to become a certified grief counselor by reviewing AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your professional goals.
The article, “Demystifying Grief Counseling: Five FAQs” from Whats Your Grief looks at the importance of grief counseling. The article states,
“First, we want to clarify what we mean by ‘grief counseling’. When we use the terms ‘grief counseling’, we’re using it to mean any type of one-on-one, couples, or family therapy, provided by a licensed counselor, to someone(s) who experienced a significant loss. Ideally, the counselor will have experience and expertise related to grief and bereavement, though their backgrounds will vary. ”
It is important to realize that licensed counselors can provide more indepth counseling beyond basic loss. Many licensed counselors are also grief certified. Qualified professionals who are not licensed can provide basic grief support but not beyond the basic elements of loss. To read the entire article, please click here
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training for certified grief counselors. The program is open to qualified professionals who are looking for an online and independent study program
Such comments as “you are so strong” during grief can have well intentions but pose problems to the griever. It creates an atmosphere where strength in grief is looking strong or tough or hiding it, or that one must be strong despite grief. These ideals are not what it means to be truly strong in grief.
What does it truly mean to be strong in grief? Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals
Whats Your Grief Article, “What Does it Mean to Be Strong in Grief?” does an excellent job of pointing out the true strength in grief. The article reads,
“Strength in grief is acknowledging, feeling, and expressing emotion. To help people understand how broadly strength in grief can be defined, we want to ask you – what does strength in grief look and feel like to you?”
Strength in grief is accepting grief. It is doing the little things. It is being scared, vulnerable and sad but going through the process. It is important as grief counselors to realize that when helping others face the grief process. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Grief flows into every aspect of life and the work place is no exception. It is important for employers to be able to identify grieving employees and help them. This sometimes involves time off but also an open ear to listen to any issues the employee may be experiencing. This is important for productivity and smoothness within the business but it also is the basics of a good human being. We need to see employees as people and respect their emotions. It is critical to good business but goes well beyond it.
How can employers help grieving employees? Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The article, “How To Support Employees Experiencing Grief And Loss” by Stephanie Sarkis looks at how employers can help employees grieve and have the time they need to fix issues of loss at home. She states,
“You may have employees that have lost loved ones. Compounding the grief, many were not able to attend a funeral or memorial service due to social distancing guidelines. Many people who died of Covid-19 died alone, or with medical staff holding up a phone or tablet so a patient could see their family and friends one last time.”
Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification. The certification is for qualified professionals who are looking for professional credentials to help in the area of loss and bereavement. Plese review the program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
Many individuals new to loss do not understand its very nature. They think grief is a pathology or grief is short term and individuals get over it. These ideals are quickly dismissed as the person realizes grief is a life long journey that helps us deal with loss. It is a reaction to loss. Loss is part of life and hence unfortunately so is grief. As a person accepts this, then their healthy reaction to grief and loss changes. The ability to understand that grief is a life long journey and that grief is not something to dismiss but to embrace is a reality that helps the person recover and adjust to the new reality.
Grief is critical to healing and adjustment. It is life long but heals. Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your professional goals
The article, “Grief For Beginners: 5 Things To Know About Processing Loss” by Stephanie O’Neil looks at five key points that beginners in grief need to discover. She states,
“Psychologist William Worden developed the concept, which involves four main tasks: acceptance of the loss, processing that loss, adjusting to life without the deceased person and finding ways to maintain an enduring connection with your loved one as you continue your life.”
Grief is a long process but it brings healing if one accepts it and works through it with the correct mindset. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.
The article below is from Chris Haws, founder of Telegrief. Online assistance is critical for individuals facing depression during quarantine. Online assistance and appointments are also a wave of the future for many in the mental field. Chris Haws discusses the vital importance of online communication for mental health.
TELEGRIEF
One of the frequent characteristics of grieving is that people isolate and withdraw from their everyday lives. They need time to think, time to reflect and time to cry. They need to assess this new reality – a reality without that much loved spouse, partner, parent, child, sibling or friend. Some people find it easier than others and can re-engage with the world in their on time and at their own pace. In every case, the support of a professional grief counselor can be invaluable during this transition from acute, agonizing, pain to a new way of living that integrates the grief and the sorrow of the loss into an ongoing, meaningful and even joyful existence. People can and do learn that it’s OK to laugh – and love – again.
Isolation and grief are not a good mixture. Chris Haws offers online services for the isolated through Telegrief.
But what if the isolation is imposed by circumstances beyond the grief sufferer’s control? Circumstances such as the current Covid-19 pandemic that is forcing everyone to “lockdown”, “shelter in place”, and “self-isolate”? It’s tough enough for people with busy lives to lead, mouths to feed and families to raise. Throw the emotionally shattering experience of a bereavement on top of all that and the result can be devastating.
Fortunately, although hugs and literal hand holding can be comforting, the grief counselor’s principal job is to listen. And having listened, to gently guide the sufferer out of the darkness of their pain towards the brighter world in which their grief is not denied or suppressed, but is integrated into the next chapter of a purposeful and satisfying life.
And that’s why remote counseling works. Whether by phone, or using one of the new video linking technologies, counselors can still listen and interact with their clients just as effectively as they can in face to face sessions – and, paradoxically, sometimes even more comfortably. Clients can sometimes be more “themselves” when they don’t have to tidy the house or dress up before the counselor arrives, or take the bus or get in their cars to travel to a distant consulting room.
Prompted by Covid-19, but building on prior experience with an international clientele that is scattered across the country and around the world, that’s why psychologist and grief counselor Chris Haws has created “Telegrief”. Clients can interact remotely with Chris using whatever technology they choose, and the results are already proving to be remarkable. If you or someone you know are in need of counseling for a recent bereavement, then go to telegrief.com and check out what Chris Haws is offering. As he says “It’s your call”.
Chris Haws is a British born Psychologist and Counselor based in Northwest DC who specializes in bereavement and grief, substance abuse and recovery, and personal development and mindfulness. For over three decades, his writing has appeared in print, radio and TV around the world. He is the founder of “Telegrief” and can be contacted at telegrief.com
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals.
Depression can have many origins. It is deeper than mere loss but a prolonged and unhealthy response to loss, or no loss at all. Depression can be triggered by an event or loss but it can also merely exist within someone due to chemical and biological factors, or psychological factors.
One may find themselves in deep depression and should seek help. Medical professionals, clinical counselors with specialties in grief counseling can also help. Others who are only certified in grief counseling can direct depressed individuals to proper professional care.
Depression can have many origins that are external and internal. Please also review our Grief Counseling Certification program and see if it meets your professional goals
The article, “Four Types of Depression” looks at the various types of why people can be depressed. Dr John Cottone takes a closer look in his article and explains these types of depression. He states,
“Virtually everyone has some experience with depression; however, the term “depression” has so many different meanings that confusion and invalidation often result when laypersons talk about their experiences. To address this problem, I have created a simple schema, based on my work with patients and my own personal experiences, to help people understand each other better when talking about depression. ”
Hence depression is a multi layered phenomenon that sometimes has a cause and other times has no direct correlation with an event but only self. To read the entire article, please click here
Chris Haws is a certified Grief Counselor through the American Academy of Grief Counseling. Below is an article from Telegrief.com. In it, Chris discusses the true nature of grief and the reality that it does not simply go away but is something we have to work with and live with for the rest of our lives. He offers some helpful ideas on dealing with the reality of Grief.
Talking Grief
By Chris Haws
Not many of us reach middle age without having encountered at least one gentle reminder of our mortality. A beloved uncle, an old school friend, or even a favorite celebrity …… news of their passing makes us sad, and may even make us pause for a moment. But the world doesn’t stop turning and the birds don’t stop singing.
Up close, however, bereavement can be a very different story. The death of a spouse, a sibling, a parent or a child can be so devastating that it feels as if your world has come to a grinding halt and that your entire existence has been turned inside out. Your mind is in a fog, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, your heart aches and you feel as if you’ve been kicked by a mule. You’re experiencing acute grief and it hurts. That’s not too surprising, since all of those unwelcome sensations are the natural consequence of your mind and your body trying to cope with the shock of your loss. Indeed, neuroscientists and endocrinologists have identified dozens of different brain regions, neural pathways and hormonal reactions to account for all of these unpleasant physical feelings. But the good news is that not only are they entirely natural and predictable, (so you aren’t going mad), but they also won’t last forever.
But we’re not just talking about physical feelings here, are we? Bereavement is not the same as a scraped knee or a bruised thumb, both of which can mend themselves in a relatively short period of time. Acute grief is a profound malady of body and mind (and, some would add, soul) that needs gentle, compassionate, sustained treatment and care …… and it can take a while.
Chris Haws points out that grief is not something that magically heals over a week but is something that is much deeper than a simple cut or bruise
It’s important to remember that there is no pre-ordained schedule or time limit for grief, any more than there is a “checklist” of stages to be ticked off. It’s unfortunate that the popular press will sometimes regurgitate the so-called “Five Stages of Grief”, as if they were commonly agreed medical fact. They are not, and it’s worth noting that when Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the five emotions of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance in her work at the University of Chicago Medical School in 1969, she was referring specifically to the emotions of terminally ill patients who had been told that they had only a few months to live – and not to the emotions of people who were grieving the loss of someone else. Subsequent research has failed to identify any pre-ordained stages or timetables in the grieving process and it is now commonly accepted that everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. But while counselors no longer talk about stages of grief, we have identified a number of different categories of grief, and that list is long, and growing. Dr Kübler-Ross’s subjects were suffering from what is now known as Anticipatory Grief. Other categories include Complicated Grief, Disenfranchised Grief, Chronic Grief, Cumulative Grief, and almost a dozen more. They each have their own particular characteristics, but the task facing a grief counselor is generally the same for each.
Firstly, people have to be reassured that while their physical symptoms are distressing and painful, they are also typical and temporary. Bereavement is as profound an emotional shock to the system as a major injury and it will take time to heal. In many ways grieving can be likened to PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, and the treatment protocols can be similar too. People also need to be reassured that it’s not only “OK” to express their grief – by occasionally bursting into tears, for example – but that talking through their raw feelings with others can be an important part of the healing process. Of course, not everyone is very good at dealing with someone who is grieving, and even the most well-meaning friend can sometimes say unhelpful, or even hurtful, things. And that’s when grief counselors can really make a difference. We’re trained not only to guide people through the acute phase of their grief, but to also help them integrate that grief into what will become their new reality.
Chris Haws points out that while certified grief counselors as well as licensed counselors can help one through the initial phase of acute grief, the greater challenge is helping one incorporate the loss into one’s new reality
And that acceptance of the concept of a new reality lies at the heart of integrated grief. By definition, a bereavement is always irreversible no matter how much we might wish it could be otherwise. So as grief counselors, we spend a lot of time encouraging people to avoid traveling down the “coulda / shoulda” pathways, or retreading “what if’s” and “if only’s”. Wishing for a different history is entirely understandable, we all do it in our everyday lives, but in the context of grief it is ultimately not very helpful or productive. A major part of our job as counselors, therefore, is to gently steer the focus of our clients’ energy away from their loss and the more painful aspects of their immediate past, such as their loved one’s unexpected accident or illness, towards a future that can celebrate the happy times that they and their departed enjoyed together .
A future that can – and will – be full of laughter, joy and meaning again.
Chris Haws is a British born Psychologist and Counselor based in Northwest DC who specializes in bereavement and grief, substance abuse and recovery, and personal development and mindfulness. For over three decades, his writing has appeared in print, radio and TV around the world. He is the founder of “Telegrief” and can be contacted at telegrief.com
Also be sure to review our Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.
