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Program for Bereavement Counseling Certification: Grief Models of Recovery

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Program for Bereavement Counseling Certification

Worden’s Four Tasks-dealt with widows and their moving on in life

1.Task 1. Acceptance
2.Task 2. Working through it
3.Task 3. Adjustment
4.Task 4. Emotionally relocate the deceased and move on

 

Kubler Ross Model

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance

Rando’s Six Rs

Recognize, React, Recollect, Relinquish, Readjust, Reinvest

John Bowlby and the Process of Mourning

Preoccupation, Disorganization, Reoganization

Lindeman’s Three Steps

Acceptance, Adjusting, Forming New Relationships

If you would like to learn more about grief counseling and Grief Support, please click here
The program for bereavement counseling certification includes four core courses.  After completing the program for bereavement counseling certification, one is certified in grief counseling for three years.

Bereavement Counseling Certification: Grief Therapy in Art

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Bereavement Counseling Certification:  Grief Therapy

There are many forms of grief therapy. One form is the use of art. It may seem that art might contribute little to the healing of grief, but this article focuses on how one mother did just that. An insightful article that will also warm your heart.

The article, “A mother uses art as a passage through grief” by Francie Minder

“The first years after my 15-year-old daughter, Chava, died of cancer, I was walking around in a fog. Each day was painful as the initial shock and disbelief faded, letting reality sink in. My world had been turned upside down. Eventually I could go through the steps of everyday life, but the extreme loss was with me every second of every day.”

full article: access here

Grief counseling and grief therapy can be so beneficial to those dealing with the tragedy of loss in their lives.  Undergoing such interventions takes commitment as well as time. Grief is a journey that we undertake. There are no real short cuts but various forms of therapies can be extremely beneficial in providing support and courage through it all.
If you are interested in learning more about a bereavement counseling certification, then please review.

Grief Counseling Courses: Broken Relationships and Attachment Theory in Grief Therapy

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Courses

A lot of literature about grief is overwhelmingly death orientated.  While death is a universal experience it is still not an everyday thing.  True, the loss of a loved permeates one’s daily life long after the event, but the actual event is singular and for the more fortunate, not nearly as regular.  The reality is most people go to counseling  or grief therapy for a relationship loss. 

The Pains and Grief of the Heart 
Grief counselors deal with many people who are devastated by divorce, a cheating spouse, a broken engagement, or the sudden change of not having that person to call, hold, or spend time with.  These aspects are very common to the human experience.  With proper guidance, the wounds become scars and help one grow emotionally and sometimes spiritually.
The loneliness and the un-needed anxiety people experience in finding a mate can be stressful enough for some, but when one truly believes they found the one, only to be shocked that everything was an illusion can be a horrifying change.   Changes in life style from the tiniest schedule can shake the foundation of that person’s life.   Even the smallest scent or image can bring a tidal wave of emotional imagery.  Unfortunately there are no short cuts in this adaptation period.  As so many grief specialists emphasize, one must do their “grief work”.  They must experience the change the emotional pain that accompanies it.  Of course, as death, there is the acceptance stage, the emotional stage of anger and mourning, and the final adaptation to the new situation.  A good grief counselor will guide the broken person through these phases and encourage emotional release in the healing process.  Only after these initial steps, can the person utilize new meaning concepts to a new reality and properly place the lost relationship in its proper perspective of his or her life story.
The question arises why does this adaptation take so long for some people?  It all varies based upon the level of attachment.  Attachment theory is a theory that was used in great depth with widows or widowers in their loss of a spouse.  The same can be applied to broken relationships that do not involve death, but separation.  The attachment will determine the length of the adaptation to the person.   So, if someone was in a relationship for many years and suddenly the relationship ceased, one should expect a greater withdrawal and more intense and lengthy adaptation period.  The opposite can be said for a short two month affair where there is little attachment and hence less adaptation.
As a grief counselor, it is important not to only deal with death but also every day pains of the heart.  Proper understanding of attachment can help one assess the situation and lay a ground work for eventually adaptation and assimilation of the past into the person’s present.  One can never give a time frame for recovery, but with a special guidance, a grief counselor can help a person understand the phases and steps and help them take the necessary steps for a happy future with someone else. if you are interested in grief counseling courses, please review the program.
Our grief counseling courses are offered online and after completion of the grief counseling courses, one can become eligible for certification if qualified.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C

Complicated Grief and It’s Manifestations

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Complicated Grief and How to Become a Certified Grief Counselor

The grief cycle always stings but it does include recovery via acceptance and adaptation. Nonetheless, sometimes reactions to grief go well beyond the natural cycle and the skills of a grief counselor and require higher help. Abnormal or complicated grief can occur and in these cases requires this higher help. Abnormal characteristics include chronic depression, delayed grief, distorted grief, excessive grief, masked grief, or concomitant grief.
When analyzing these reactions a few things need to be noted. First within a subjective element. The person who experiences the grief reacts differently than another person may to the same thing. This is a result to the level of attachment to the thing or person valued. The greater the attachment, the greater reaction. The greater the reaction, the greater possibility for complicated reactions. Some reactions can be chronic depressive, some delayed and others masked.
From an objective standpoint, the grief event can be concomitant/multiple events or traumatic. The more severe the event the greater the reaction. This is the case of traumatic grief which is a result of a devastating event. These can include natural disasters, war, sudden loss, or mass death. Survival guilt, death imprints and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome can all result from these.
In most cases, complicated grief reactions require medication and professional counseling. A grief counselor can work in concordance with an LPC but should not work alone with these conditions. It is the grief counselors role to identify signs and situations that cause complicated grief and direct their clients to the proper resources
If you are interested and would like to learn how to become a certified grief counselor, then please review the program.

A Sojourner in Grief Surpasses Basic Grief Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Sourjourning in One’s Grief is a Deeper Calling Than Just Grief Counseling

A Sojourner is one who has the empathy and compassion to commit the time and energy to travel into the darkness of grief with another one. As a counselor, it is not always about making the person feel better but helping them face grief and overcome it. What is wanted is healing and emotional health that lasts more than a few minutes.

Some things to consider when dealing with traumatic grief and counseling.
1. Sometimes people need to hear tragic news more than once to help it fit in and for them to say it themselves.
2. Sometimes they may need a physical hug. Remember physical touch can be reassuring but should be respectful and appropriate and only if accepted.
3. Encourage them to talk out their problems with family and friends
4. Include anger management. Allow them to be angry but channel it properly
5. Plan follow up sessions to rethink and retalk about what has happened.
Sojourning and mentorship is beyond mere counseling. It is a personal interest with one’s spiritual child. It involves listening and helping one through the darkness of grief. It involves also sometimes stepping into the darkness to help one escape it.  If you are interest in the  Grief Counseling Program, please click here.

How to Write a Grief Sympathy Letter or Note

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

 Dealing with the Grief of Others

A sympathy letter is a formal and sincere way of sending your condolences to a grieving family member, friend, or colleague. It is usually sent or emailed during the first few days after the death of an individual. Sending a sympathy letter is a great way to empathize and give comfort to a person who has just lost a loved one.  Dealing with grief is a challenging journey. Those who grieve are generally very appreciative of the notes of condolences they receive.

 How to Begin the Letter

A grief sympathy letter often opens up with the writer acknowledging the death of the person. The writer may do this with lines such as “I am so sorry to hear of your loss,” or “I was shocked to hear about X’s death.” If the writer is writing on behalf of a group or company, he or she may write something like this: “I am writing on behalf of Y company or X’s friends to express our condolences for X’s passing.”  These lines not only serve as an appropriate opening for the letter, but also set the tone for the entire sympathetic theme.

 Acknowledge the Loss

After acknowledging the death of the person and the loss of the grieving party, the writer then expresses sympathy in the succeeding sentence or paragraph. The writer may say “Please find comfort in the love and good memories we have of X,” or “I want to express my sincerest sympathy for your sad loss.”  In this part of the letter, the writer condoles with the grieving party and offers words of comfort to the bereaved family.

Share Wonderful Memories of the Deceased

A sympathy letter should also have a few lines about the deceased person as described by the writer. These lines usually enumerate the good qualities that the writer admires and will miss about the deceased. The writer may say, “X was such a sweet and hardworking colleague, and I will miss him dearly,” if the deceased was a colleague, or “X was a sincere, loyal, and trusting friend,” if the deceased was a friend. In the next line, the writer shares a wonderful memory of the deceased to the grieving party. This is an opportunity to highlight the good qualities of the person who has passed away. The writer may cite how he or she met the deceased, their friendship, working relationship, or how the late person spoke affectionately about his or her family.

How to End the Letter

Grieving families will appreciate hearing words of love from just about anyone, particularly from people they know. This may be as simple as words of encouragement. One rule of thumb, though- never make any offer that you can’t fulfill. Some lines that writers can use for this part are, “If there is anything that I can do, I am just a phone call away,” or “Don’t hesitate to call me up if you need anything from me during these tough times.”  As a closing line, writers may end their letter with phrases such as “love,” “truly yours,” and “affectionately yours.”
Here’s a sample of a short but sincere sympathy letter:
“I am saddened by X’s death. No words are adequate to describe just how special a person he was. He always had kind words to say about everyone in the office. He also often told us how he loved you and his children. If there’s anything we can do for you, just give us a call. Our thoughts are with you and your family during these difficult times. Sincerely, John.”
Oftentimes, when one is faced with a friend who is grieving, it is hard to know what to do. Knowing how to write a formal sympathy letter can help one organize one’s thoughts and feelings in a coherent manner. For someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one, reading a simple sympathy letter is sure to make the loss a little easier to bear.
If you would like to learn more on how to become certified in grief counseling, then please review.

Grief Counseling Certification: When Grief Happens

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Certification

Grief strikes everyone every day. It is unfortunately a natural element of life that many would like to wish away. However, if one does not develop the necessary coping skills with loss, one’s life will become a dangerous road of long depressions and unhealthy psychological reactions to loss. The coping skills necessary in dealing with loss are as pivotal to existence as any other coping skills. While there is a process in mourning loss, the coping skills help one to go through the natural phases of grief. Grief counselors are especially trained to help people get through the day to day cycle of grief as a result of loss. AIHCP offers certifications in grief for qualified individuals. If you are fit the mold for a grief counselor, you should consider becoming certified. By merely taking the four required courses you can become certified in grief and also open to other specialties in pet loss, Christian grief and adolescent grief.
If you are interested in a grief counseling certification, then please review.  By taking the core courses, one can become certified in grief counseling.

Training in Grief Counseling: Suicide Intervention Strategies in Grief and Christian Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Suicide Intervention Strategies in Grief and Christian Counseling

In the previous article, we discussed assessment. The final element of assessment is types of intervention required to prevent suicide that Grief and Christian Counselors can use.
There are two types of intervention. The first is Low-Risk Intervention and the second is High-Risk Intervention. High and Low is determined by level of depression, amount of risk factors and number of suicidal thoughts.
 Low level intervention requires first and foremost a no suicide contract. This removes stress from the spiritual child and allows them to be free of a dangerous and impulsive decision. The second requires follow up meetings as you nurse the person out of the situation. This may also involve other LPC assistance. Finally, family and friends are needed to lift the spirits of the person. Faith is also key here.
Higher risk symptoms involve more drastic interventions. The plan is very identifiable, doable and even has a possible time frame. Obviously a no suicide contract should be made but the extent of family and friend intervention is much higher. Sometimes an intervention circle may be needed where family and friends form a vigil around their the person. In other cases, police should be called at times or admittance. However, sometimes emergency responses can only do so much or hospitals can only hold someone so long due to observance rules or insurance issues. In these cases, family is most key. The one thing to remember is as a counselor you should never put yourself in harms way especially if a weapon is involved.
It is the hope after help has arrived that post counseling and medicines can alleviate the suicidal thoughts. Ultimately the greatest healing comes from God and this in some cases takes the most time, especially since only the person can open himself to God’s grace. However, is this not the role of the Christian counselor? To shower the love of God on those who suffer?
Hopefully with proper assessment and correct intervention methodologies, a  grief counselor can prevent the death of a person.

Please also consider training in grief counseling.

Grief and Christian Counseling Suicide Assessment Questions

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Training Program: Suicide Assessment for Christian and Grief Counseling

In grief and Christian counseling it is important to identify high risk factors that can lead to suicide. Below is an assessment guide in diagnosing possible people at risk.

The first assessment is identifying symptoms of depression. According to medical professionals, depression manifests itself in these ways. 1. Intense sadness. 2. lost of interest in normal activities 3. loss of energy and strength 4. loss of self confidence 5. excessive guilt 6. expressions that reflect lack of worth or living 7. loss of concentration 8. extreme restlessness 9. frequent insomnia 10. loss of appetite. One should rank these on a scale of one to ten. If two or more symptoms exist with a level of three, a counselor should refer his patient to a medical professional for possible depression treatment.
The second assessment for suicide prevention is the risk factors. Among the most common are 1. loss of job 2. loss of social status 3. financial loss. 4. Gender–male. 5. family history of suicide 6. drug use 7. mental illness. These issues or combination of these issues can lead to a potential suicide
The third and final assessment is assessing he lethality of a threat or plan. Questions such as “Have you considered harming yourself?” or “How many times have you considered harming yourself?” are good starting points in questioning. The second set of questions involve the depth of the plan. They include “Have you considered how you will kill yourself?” The third set of questions hopes to identify a time table. Through this one can identify the intent, lethality and immediacy of the threat.
With good assessment skills, a counselor can prevent a catastrophic event that will not only end an individual life but hurt an entire family. For more information, please review our Grief Counseling training program.
By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Grief and the Effects of Traumatic Grief on Society

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Courses in Christian Grief Counseling: Effects of Traumatic Grief on Society

In the previous article we discussed what traumatic grief is and how it affects the survivor. We utilized Lifton’s five major themes that correspond with traumatic grief. In this segment, we will analyze the recovery procedures for people of traumatic grief. We will also include Christian principles that can heal the wounds of traumatic loss and grief.

The first step involves understanding the nature of the trauma. The trauma is so severe that it has  
brought one to the jaws of death. The realization that death is inevitable and was so close can negatively affect a survivor. Lifton’s first rule is to manage the symptoms of anxiety that correlate with the trauma. 
It is the goal of counselor to help the patient identify and face the pain associated with the trauma. Only then can the counselor help the patient feel less alone and push them towards a sign of hope. Strategies for symptom management help the patient realize they have control and hope. Some strategies include cognitive and behavioral therapies such as relaxation, or techniques for interpersonal skills. Medication is also an option to ease the emotional anxiety so the person can focus and heal. Support groups of people who share similar stories of trauma are also encouraged.
The second step involves reconstructing meaning. In this element, the person begins to find a place for the traumatic event in their life narrative. They face the trauma and then reconstruct their life story with the trauma of the past. This is the very definition of metaconstruction which integrates one’s past and future self conceptions into a new story.
The final element involves finding new spiritual wholeness. This is the final step of healing. In this step, the survivor must recover a new meaningful sense of purpose, return to society, and move towards a healthy self-acceptance of who one is. Some create survivor missions which give them a sense of destiny and ultimate value. Some find this value in God as its source, while others find non theistic means such a good of community or justice. In many ways this final step is a self acceptance and forgiveness of the past that eliminates the negative energy and produces good energy via praxis.
Obviously, God as the source produces the greatest recovery. However, some may remain bitter towards God for the evil that befell. These are signs that a full recovery is not there yet. The bitterness is negative and only until they are able to remove that darkness from their soul will they be healed. The saints and 
mystics focused their energy on Christ who suffered the most traumatic death. They focus on the trauma the Blessed Virgin faced seeing her son brutally murdered before her eyes. In that grief, they find love, support, and healing. They realize in this fallen world, they are not alone. No matter how traumatic the event, the end is resurrection in Christ. If survivors are able to go through the three steps of recovery, they will then be able to unify with Christ their sufferings and elevate it to a higher and supernatural level that the world cannot comprehend. This is the great mystery of Christian grief: through suffering comes redemption.
While traumatic grief and the pains of survivors are immense and require long periods of recovery, it is possible through good counseling, therapies, and God that one can again find meaning, wholeness, hope and love. This does not entail that the healing process eliminates the scar or the memory, but it does allow the person to accept those scars in a healthy manner and continue to carry their cross with dignity, hope, happiness and Christian charity.
Please review our courses in Christian Grief Counseling.
By Mark Moran, MA