Pet Loss Grief: Should you Get a New Pet?

After a Loss of a Pet, Should I Buy a New Pet?

It is extremely painful when a pet dies. After years and years of loving companionship, saying farewell to your faithful friend is among the hardest things to go through. The void they leave behind is much the same as a friend or relative passing, and it doesn’t matter what anyone says, they were still part of the family. For many children, the death or loss of a pet is the first time they will have experienced it in their lives, and it will be necessary to nurture them through these tough times too. The most important thing to do when your pet has died is to allow yourself time to grieve, and to go through the proper stages of grief without anyone making you feel guilty for doing so. Many non animal lovers do not understand, and can be insensitive to your feelings, but ignore them and follow your own instincts and do what you feel necessary to get over it. One of

the most common things people suggest is to get another pet straight away. This can be beneficial, but it does also have some problems too, and you should consider the impact of choosing to go this route or not. At the very least, allow yourself a week or so to begin the healing process, and for your emotions to come back under check.

The Pros of Getting Another Pet Right Away.

Before discussing some of the pros, if you do decide on this route, do not expect your new pet to be anything like your old one, and do not get one just to replace it. Your new pet will be a different personality with new traits and new things to learn about. This is a new member of the family. The beauty of getting a new pet is that it does help with the healing process. It is a new body to focus on, to take care of, to fall in love with and to help lift the household again. This is especially the case with dogs, as a home suddenly without a dog can really feel dead. Coming back to an empty house can prolong the grief of loss, whereas a new dog to come back home to, with a fresh smile and waggily tail can really lift your spirits. Furthermore, the new pet can help you to remember the old pet in fond ways. The new pet could do things which remind you of things the old one did which make you laugh, and this is very healthy.

The Cons of Getting Another Pet Right Away.

If you are not ready for a new pet, then don’t get one. Do not be forced into it by other members of the household, or you could end up resenting it. By not getting a new pet right away will enable you to grieve for as long as necessary, but also decide whether if you want another pet, and if so whether it will be the same animal. Secondly, because you are still in an emotional state, if you did get another pet, then you could become frustrated with it, because it’s not your old pet, or because it’s doing things wrong. This isn’t the pet’s fault, and it would be totally unfair on the pet and on you. Animals are very sensitive to people’s emotions, and if they do not feel settled, then there will be problems which will only exasperate the situation. Simply, if you do not feel ready to have a new pet, then wait and allow yourself to grieve the way you need to. In conclusion, everybody has their own ways of dealing with the grief of losing a loving pet. There is no simple solution, and we must all find our own way through these hard times. If you do decide to get another pet soon after the death of your old one, then be aware that you are still hurting, and you will need to deal with your emotions, as well as your new pet. On the other hand, your new pet can help you tremendously in dealing with this grief, as you forge a new lasting and loving relationship, based on companionship and love.
If you are interested in becoming certified as a pet loss grief counselor, please review the program.

Substance Abuse: How to Keep Your Teen Clean!

Young family outside posing with a football
Simply being involved can stop substance abuse

Teen substance abuse is an area where parents will always need to stay vigilant.  Peer pressure and experimentation are constant.   What is the answer to this problem?   Being involved in your teen’s life.   Knowing where they are at and who they are with.   However when that is not enough you might want to start hanging around other parents that have similar parenting habits as your own.   An article suggests that teens who are friends with other teens that have parents with the same parenting style, they are less likely to abuse drugs.

Substance Abuse: How to Keep Your Teen Clean!

The article, “Keeping Teens Substance Free”, Source: MedicalNewsToday

“Among friendship groups with ‘good parents’ there’s a synergistic effect – if your parents are consistent and aware of your whereabouts, and your friends’ parents are also consistent and aware of their (children’s) whereabouts, then you are less likely to use substances,” said Michael J. Cleveland, research assistant professor at the Prevention Research Center and the Methodology Center, Penn State.”

For the full article please go here.

Obviously this is not a fool proof way to keep your teens off of drugs and alcohol but it is a start in the right direction.   There are many other teen substance abuse counseling techniques you can use.  Drug abuse counseling and alcohol abuse counseling help and resources can be found throughout the internet.   If you want to learn more on the subject, our website is a good place to start.

The Role of a Christian Counselor in Character Formation

The Role of a Christian Counselor

The role of a Christian Counselor during counseling sessions is aiding one who is in distress, sin, or suffering and offering to that person a Christian solution. While this solution may not be the solution of easiest choice, it must always be a solution that correlates with the moral law. This is why a Christian Counselor must also be well versed in Moral Theology.

Moral theology is the study of morality, virtue, and Christian law. A Christian Counselor must be aware of the Divine Positive Law that encompasses the study of the commandments. He or she must also be well versed in the ideals of the Natural Law or the law that is imprinted upon all souls that reflect the goodness and truth of the Creator. In addition to this, one must also have a clear understanding of virtues and vices and how they are applied to the soul. While this first element deals with the objective nature of moral theology that binds all men, there is also a subjective element that guides the inner compass of man. This part deals with the subjective nature of human acts. While human acts can be classified objectively as good or evil, one must determine the intent and knowledge of an individual who commits those actions to determine culpability. Obviously in most cases, this is left to the eyes of God which, unlike man, sees everything that happens.
Conscience is a key element in any counseling. This subjective element of human actions deals with the inner workings of the soul between the intellect and the will. Good consciences are formed in accordance with God’s law while bad consciences seek only one’s own end. Sociopathic consciences are devoid of these things, while narcissistic consciences only hope to fulfill the appetite of the passions that deal directly with their physical or personal pleasure and gain. In addition to this, there are consciences that have doubt and some consciences that are scrupulous in nature. All these pathologies need to be addressed when dealing with the formation and overall health of one’s conscience.
As Christian Counselors we want to guide our spiritual children in the formation of good consciences. In doing this, we must instruct and also help one understand the three important criteria for human actions in regards to culpability. First, what is the objective nature of the action. Second, what is the subjective nature of the agent and finally, what are the circumstances surrounding the objective action. Circumstance can sometimes change the nature of the action-much the same way murder and self defense differ due to intent and self survival.
As one can see, the importance of a strong moral theology is critical to good counseling.  If you are interested in courses in Christian Counseling, please review the program.
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Certification in Christian Counseling: Reconciliation as Religious Counseling

Certification in Christian Counseling: Reconciliation is also counseling

Within Catholic theology, the Seven Sacraments are outward signs that produce grace. Each grace that is particular to a sacrament has a particular function within the soul’s spiritual life. This sacramental grace helps the person carry out particular spiritual tasks within the domain of the sacrament. Christian 

Counselors within the Catholic tradition have a particular aid in helping their clients overcome sin, grief and despair via the Sacrament of Reconciliation. In fact, confession in itself is a religious counseling session. Many priests who administer the sacrament become Christian counselors by the very fact they lend their ear to the concerns and worries of the faithful. This ultimate form of counseling is followed with a dose of divine grace that refreshes the soul by removing sin, inclinations to sin, and a infusion of hope within the penitent.

The first aspect to consider is the psychological nature of confession. In all counseling, identifying problems and bringing them out into the open are keys for success. Within the sacred seal of confession, the penitent reveals his or her sins, issues and problems to someone. This exposure and admittance of problems opens up the channel for psychological healing and habitual corrections. The next psychological element involves advice from a third party. This advice comes from a trained pastoral professional; the better the counseling skills within the priest, the better the outcome. This is a nature of confession that many faithful discount. They consider it merely a verbal listing of bad actions without feedback for correction or healing. The role of a priest in this second part of confession is to guide and help the person amend his or her life. The third psychological element of confession is forgiveness. It is true within Catholic theology that God does forgive those who seek forgiveness outside the bounds of confession. It is also true, however, that the official sacramental infusion of grace is completed via the absolution by the priest. The priest, as an instrument of grace, represents Christ and as his representative infuses the grace of the Holy Spirit upon the penitent. If one believes this theology, the psychological benefits are immense. The person again feels hope, forgiveness and healing. Whether one is agnostic, atheist, or even non-Catholic, one cannot deny these three psychological benefits of confession. 
The second aspect involves the theology which while open to debate outside of Catholic circles remains a steadfast tradition within the Church. A Christian spiritual counselor  or one who is certified in Christian counseling who utilizes the sacramental graces of confession as a spiritual medicine for his or her client is utilizing a great tool. The sacrament spiritually nourishes the soul in healing. It forgives the stain of the sin and its odious stench, removing the attachments of vice. It is not enough to forgive the sin, but to find its root in its particular vice. This is the deeper element of the sacramental cleansing of confession. Furthermore, while removing the demons of vice and sin, it strengthens and heals the soul for future confrontations. This is why frequent confession is encouraged. It literally is a bathing of the soul.
Yet as Christian spiritual counselors, non Catholics do not have this psychological and spiritual tool at their disposal. This may be due to differences in theological beliefs or a different tradition. I recommend within Protestant circles, a strong emphasis during counseling on prayers to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the primary key within the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and there is no reason why when two meet in the Lord’s name that his Spirit would not manifest and strengthen. Many counselors have various gifts of the spirit in which they can lay hands or invoke the presence of the Holy Spirit. Such outward signs of prayer and laying of hands can also give the spiritual and psychological benefits needed for non Catholic Christians.
In conclusion, while this article primarily focused on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, a few things can be gained by counselors of all Christian denominations. First, outward signs of religious faith are essential for healing. We are composed of body and soul. Our physical senses are essential to spiritual healing. Human nature is intrinsically interwoven with both matter and spirit. Hence when treating a malady, one must treat both elements. Second, the psychological effects that correlate with the spiritual effects cannot be underestimated. While the psychological effects are manifestations of the spiritual, one cannot deny even from a secular view that such religious traditions are not worthwhile. On the contrary, religious traditions that foster forgiveness, healing and hope are instrumental to someone’s recovery. If one wants to merely believe this is psychological and not spiritual, then so be it, but the reality is man is a spiritual creature and innately searches for his creator which is God. Only God can give the satisfaction and happiness to overcome sin and despair.
If you are interested in a certification in Christian Counseling, please review the program. Our certification in Christian counseling covers many aspects of the practice and is based upon Christ and the Bible.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Christian Biblical Counseling: Advent Preparation in Religious Counseling

Religious Counselors Must Reintroduce Christ to Christmas

The secularization of religious feasts is common in America. The Christmas season which spiritually begins December 25th, begins on Black Friday after Thanksgiving. Instead of spiritual preparation for the birth of Christ, the nation that night prepares wish lists and compares the best sale. Where Christian charity and giving should exist, there is capitalistic greed. This unfortunate side effect of secularization and materialism has driven the idea of spiritual preparation into the distant past. As religious 

counselors and leaders within the church, it is your obligation to help rejuvenate the ideals of Advent.

While Lent in the past has received a greater emphasis in regards to fasting, Advent also represents a time to fast.  While voluntary, fasting during Advent can be especially spiritually enriching as the soul prepares itself for the coming of Christ.  As Christians, we live in a world where Christ historically has already came and resurrected and we wait merely a month in commemoration.   However, the “Advent” period of the Old Testament started with the fall of Adam and was carried through the great Patriarchs to the simply “yes” of the Virgin Mary.  All the great prophets, from Abraham to Moses, awaited the coming of the Messiah.  After their deaths, they awaited in limbo.  This time of preparation of the “Old Church” is something the “New Church” recognizes within Advent.  It shares with the “Old Church” a time of spiritual preparation and anticipation of the greatest event in human history.  In Christian Biblical Counseling, one must make it evident to your spiritual children that the time for festivity must not take priority over this spiritual preparation.
As a Christian counselor one must emphasize the greatness of the Incarnation.  The miraculous event of the 2nd person of the Blessed Trinity, taking upon a human nature, but retaining his divine nature is an article of faith that transcends any preconceived notions of love.   This gift of love can be seen on two levels.  First, from a redemptive view, it was the gift of Christ himself to the world as both priest and victim, God and man, who placed himself upon the altar to be sacrificed for man’s sins.  From manger to cross, Christ’s life was for our redemption. Second, from a view of pure love, the 2nd person clothed himself in flesh, and became man to share and teach man how to live, suffer, and love. As a divine being, the 2ndperson was immutable. Any action against him could not harm him or hurt him, but only imbalance the weight of justice. As a human person, God allowed himself to experience the 

intimacy of human love with its interdependence and interaction. While the love of the trinity was perfect, the happiness of God could never be altered by a mere finite creation, but via the Incarnation, creature and creator could share in a personal love that was different and in some ways more intense. So, via the Incarnation, not only did the 2nd Person prepare himself for the redemption of man, but also prepared himself to love man at a different level and way that solely as a divine being he could never do.

With such a deep theology, a Christian spiritual counselor should prepare his spiritual children. As Mary said yes and prepared herself for nine months, so we are only asked to prepare ourselves for one month. Christian counselors can offer a variety of methods for preparation such as increased fasting, minor sacrifices, reading of scripture and more prayer. Traditions from the local church or parish should also be emphasized and attended. Also include in decorations a manager set that constantly reminds one why the season is being celebrated. Of course the final preparation is celebrating worship service or Mass at your local church.
While the Christmas tree, stockings, and the ideas of Santa Clause are important social traditions, one must understand that these festivities and traditions are merely the side dishes of Christmas. The main course is the Incarnation of Christ and his amazing love for mankind. Christ is born—Glorify Him!

If you are interested in Christian Counseling Courses, please review the program in Christian Biblical Counseling.

By Mark Moran, MA

The Seven Spiritual Acts of Mercy and Christian Biblical Counseling

Christian Biblical Counseling and the Charisms of the Holy Spirit

The charisms of the Holy Spirit give each individual in Christ’s Body the ability to contribute to the bettering of the Church Militant on earth. As a body, each part plays a fundamental role. Your role as a counselor is an important one. While not only guiding people to a healthy state of life, you are also spiritually guiding them to Christian principles. The Seven Spiritual Works of Mercy come to my mind here. As a young boy, my catechism listed works considered by Christ to be important in 

1.To Admonish the Sinner- This does not involve judgment but relates to a Christian’s obligation to give testimony to what is right or wrong.
2.To Instruct the Ignorant- This involves teaching. Ignorant does not relate to stupidity, it relates to ignorance and not knowing. The divine command to preach the gospel comes to mind here.
3.To Counsel the Doubtful- The word “counsel” is even used here. Clearly a Christian has a vocation to be a counselor in helping those in doubt and worry.
4.To Comfort the Sorrowful- One of the primary purposes of counseling is not only to help those in confusion but to help heal the broken.
The final three deal with a more personal level. The final three include praying for the living and the dead, bearing wrongs patiently, and forgiving ones enemies. I think these spiritual works are all pertinent to a good Christian Biblical counseling base because they fulfill the primary needs a counselor gives to someone. A counselor corrects bad behavior, gives instruction and advice, and comforts those in distress. In many ways, the Seven Spiritual Works of Mercy are the code of any counselor.
What one can learn from these seven acts of Christian spiritual charity is that everyone is called to be a counselor in some sense. We are all called as brothers and sisters in Christ to take a personal interest in our fellow man’s need; a need that is beyond the mere physical, but a need that touches the core of one’s soul. While counselors professionally offer this service, Christians in general must offer this service in their everyday life. This is the blessing that comes with Christian counseling. It produces a twofold blessing of not only a career but also a vocation.

If you are interested in Christian Counseling courses, please review the program. If you would like to learn where you can take online Christian Counseling courses, then please review the program.

By Mark Moran, MA

How Biblical Counseling Uses the Gifts of the Holy Spirit

Biblical Counseling and the Gifts of the Holy Spirit

At Baptism, the Holy Spirit infuses into the soul, the three theological virtues of Faith, Hope, and Love. Through the grace of God, the soul is infused with new life. These virtues if cultivated produce the four cardinal virtues or moral virtues of prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude. They guide one’s soul in its interaction with the passions and other people. The receiving of the spirit completes these virtues. In Protestant circles this is referred to as the laying of the hands and within Catholic circles this is referred to as the Sacrament of Confirmation. It is important in Biblical counseling to cultivate these gifts.

Upon receiving the Holy Spirit in Baptism and the later laying of hands, a Christian is spiritually born and later turned into a soldier for Christ. The Holy Spirit then can impart certain gifts and upon the reception of such gifts produce beautiful fruits that can adorn the Christian soul. Let us look at them.

The Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit are referred to in Isaiah 11:2-3. The gifts are as follows:
1.Wisdom- Wisdom here refers to knowledge of spiritual and practical things; a knowledge that entails guidance. The wisdom of Solomon is a good example of this gift. Wisdom is clearly a gift needed for any Christian biblical counselor.
2.Understanding- Understanding refers to a person’s ability to see clearly the laws of God and apply them in a confusing immoral world. One understands how to follow Christ in this world.
3.Counsel- Again we see counseling as a God given gift from the Spirit. This has to do with right and wrong and proper judgment. It is an internal compass for you and your clients.
4.Fortitude- One of the moral virtues is found in this group. The ability to handle hardship with Christian hope.
5.Knowledge- This knowledge refers to spiritual affairs of knowing God, his laws and revelation.
6.Piety- Humility and reverence for God
7.Fear of the Lord- Awe for God’s omnipotence and greatness.
If you are interested in the Christian Spiritual Counseling Certification Program, please review. To become a Christian Biblical Counselor, you need to complete the required courses.

Pet Loss Grief: Memorializing a Pet

The best ways of memorializing a pet

Memorializing a pet is quite a complex decision going by the number of ways people tend to connect to their pets and the different ways they like to remember them when they’re gone. When it comes to pets, almost everyone has a memory. Since pets form a significant part of their owner’s lives, they’re thoroughly missed in almost every case. The grief of pet loss can be just as hard as losing a family member. But just like we do for the people we love most, there are many ways of memorializing a pet once they’ve passed away. Here’s a list of 6 amazing things you can do to make sure your pet is remembered and cherished long after he/she is gone.

 Make an Photo Tribute

One of the best ways of memorializing a pet would be to make a photo tribute with all the pictures you’ve got of your little ball of fur. Of course, this is assuming you have plenty of pictures that are really good looking and photogenic. Amateur photos aren’t great for a detailed photo tribute, but nonetheless if low quality pictures are the only ones you have, you can still consider hiring the services of a photoshop expert to tune up, edit and turn your pet’s pictures into an album that will make an amazing photo tribute.

 Make a Life Size Replica

Another great way of memorializing a pet would be to have a life sized statue of him standing in your backyard. If you’re a craft person, you could also consider a bunch of other things like making a painting of your pet or a wood carving that symbolizes a cherished moment with your pet. However, none of these comes close to having a life size statue of your pet in your backyard. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just an ordinary sculpture painted in real life colors. If you’re willing to blow some cash on it, you might as well get it made in metal for a better look.

 Frame a Written Tribute

There’s no better way to express your love for a lost pet than through words. Words are not only the best possible way of memorializing a pet, but they also provide you and everyone else a perspective into your pet’s life long after he’s gone. Now that’s far better than a statue or a craft piece that just shows off how your pet looked. Instead, a written tribute like a framed poem along with a picture can be a better source of remembrance than anything else.

 Plant a Tree in your Pet’s Memory

Most cities would let you plant a tree memorializing a pet in a city park. However, if that is too much to ask, you can simply plant a seed or a sapling in your backyard in remembrance of your pet. If you’d like people to know more about your pet, you can also put a small plaque near the plant with a poem in memory of your pet. Make sure the plaque is not too near the tree as trees tend to grow big. With this you’d have a permanent living memory of your lost pet.

 Keep your Pet’s Ashes in an Ornate Urn

This is the most widely accepted conventional method of memorializing a pet these days. Buy an urn that is specially made to hold ashes. Most shops let you carve or inscribe your pet’s name on the urn for a small fee. Once made, you can put your pet’s ashes in the urn and keep it in a memorable place at your house. Sometimes you can even get a picture of your pet painted on the urn for better remembrance. If you inscribe a poem on the urn, it will be a great way of telling your kids and grandchildren later on in life about how wonderful your pet was. Having the urn as a memorial can be a good way to help with pet loss grief support

 Contribute to a Cause

It is most likely that your pet died of something. Let’s say a rash driver or a specific disease. Most animal shelters will let you put up a small plaque memorializing a pet at their grounds. They often let you do this in exchange for a small donation. You get the opportunity to highlight your pet’s fate and call for a solution on this plaque. You never know who it will inspire. You can also consider donating to research organizations that are trying to find a cure for whatever it is that your pet died of. There are many ways of memorializing a pet that are equally good or better than all the above. But in the end it’s all about how much you care for your pets and the kinds of ways in which you would like to remember them after they are gone.
If you are interested in information on this topic, click this link: Pet Loss Grief Support

Hypnotherapy for Remembering a Traumatic Event

Hypnotherapy for remembering a traumatic event

When some people experience a traumatic event, they repress that memory far back in their mind so they don’t have to think about it. This can result in not even remembering the trauma for most people. Unfortunately, repressing a bad event in the back of the mind can result in a lot of future problems. Each person is different, but the mind normally works in similar ways for most people. Hypnotherapy for remembering a traumatic event can be very useful.
Suppressed memories could manifest themselves into making an adult obese, untrustworthy or even a criminal. Sometimes traumatic events can subconsciously change the way a person thinks, which is why these issues arise. There are a lot of people who walk around having absolutely no idea that they had a traumatic event happen in their past. Getting help is important for anyone that wants to recover from issues they are having in the present.

 How Hypnotherapy for Remembering a Traumatic Event Works

When someone goes to therapy like this, otherwise known as regression therapy, they will be put in a relaxed state. This isn’t like hypnosis that is seen on television when someone has to walk around and act like a chicken. The Hypnotherapist will gradually work up to accessing different memories. This works much like a tape recorder does since most memories will be played back with vivid detail. The patient will still be awake and able to respond, but they will be accessing different parts of their memory.
Normally these memories are huge events that happened during childhood. This could mean being raped, being abused, having a family member die or a number of other things. The therapist is going to ask questions that will lead to the patient remembering these things from their past. Sometimes it can be too much for them to handle; which means it could take several sessions to fully get the entire story. When the patient is woken up out of the relaxed state, they will be able to remember all the memories they pulled from their past.

 How Hypnotherapy can help Someone?

This therapy can help people navigate through their past and find out why they act the way they do today. For example, some people who are dangerously obese eat their feelings because they were raped in the past. Instead of dealing with the emotions of being physically abused, they repressed all of them and started eating. Normally this is a gradual weight gain that is obvious from right after the abuse happened. This is just one example of how trauma can affect someone without them even knowing it. There are a lot of other ways this can affect each individual and change their life. In fact, many serial killers have pasts that involved traumatic events. These events and not dealing with their emotions are what make them so violent and unhinged.
Being able to work out feelings with a therapist is extremely important. Once all the memories have been brought to the conscious mind, they can start to work themselves out. The therapist is going to work with their patient to determine what needs to be done. It is going to take many sessions for most people to come to terms with the events that happened in their past. Talking out these things can make a big difference with the way someone acts in the present and future. Most patients end up shedding a lot of tears and feeling relief by letting these memories come to surface.
Therapy can result in a person having a better attitude, not being violent, quitting certain behaviors and so much more. The patient is able to talk out memories and feelings, which is probably something they weren’t able to do in the past. The therapist is going to ask a lot of questions and become an active role in their life. Having a safe space where the patient can talk about their trauma is extremely important when it comes to the healing process. After the emotions from the past have been worked out, the future can become a lot brighter. It does take a while to re-build, but it can be done with the help of a therapist. Without hypnotherapy it might be impossible for some individuals to remember any trauma at all.
Interested in learning more, click this link: Hypnotherapy

How to Meditate your stress away

Young woman meditating in a park
You should always try to find time to meditate

If you meditate every day, you can focus on positive stress reduction and relaxation.   Daily meditation can also give you mental clarity and bring you peace.   Meditating helps to turn the panic into peace, the chaos into clarity.   However most people do not have time to learn to meditate.   Good news is, it is not difficult and anyone can start.   There are enough resources online to make anyone an expect.    An article with excellent tips to get you started meditating today is:

How to Meditate your stress away

The article, “How to Meditate Your Way From Panic to Peace”, by Priscilla Warner states

“I learned how to meditate and process disturbing memories and emotions. I healed in ways I never could have imagined. I’m a monk in a minivan now, driving through the suburbs of New York with a peacefulness and clarity I could never have imagined I could access.”

For the full list please go here.

You will find once you have started learning to meditate, it will get easy to do and more relaxing.   As I’ve said before, all it takes is a few minutes a day!   If you want to learn more about meditation, you should visit our website.