Christian Counseling Article on Raising Teens

The teenage years and later adolescent years can be filled with turmoil for the teen.  Physical changes, social dealings, and trying to find identity can create havoc in study, home life and moral values.   In adhering to these moral values, teens can struggle if not properly supervised or cared for by a loving parent.  It is essential to encourage values and practices to keep the teen on track.

Raising teens with good Christian morals is a vocation. Please also review our Christian Counseling
Raising teens with good Christian morals is a vocation. Please also review our Christian Counseling

The four moral virtues, which when applied to teenage life can be very beneficial.  If they do not always manifest, as long as the seed exists, their advancement no matter how dormant they may seem may reemerge in early adulthood.   The reason being is that many of the norms of teenage behavior due to hormones and development prevent their manifestation.

For instance, the virtue of prudence is associated with wisdom.   Wisdom is not for the young, but we hope at least, our teens are able to form logical and good moral decisions against the most blatant of wrongs.   We hope they will utilize prudence in not drinking and driving, or not taking drugs, or not being involved in various serious illegal activities.   It is difficult to expect a teen to show prudence in all decision making, but as chemicals in the brain stabilize and the mind develops, clear thinking with prudence can develop later if it is already there.

In the case of justice, teens can sometimes have a distorted view of right and wrong.   They may not have the ability to understand all the angles of what one should or should not do in their relations with others, but if parents can at least instill the basics of the Ten Commandments as a paradigm, then a good foundation can prevent disaster.

Fortitude is an important moral virtue as well, but many teens fall to depression, or give up so very easily.  Teens need praise and self esteem boosting.   They need to be told they are can succeed and when things go wrong, to properly adjust and persevere.  The virtue of fortitude helps someone deal with spiritual, mental and physical problems.

Finally, the virtue of temperance is definitely a struggle for teens who are experiencing urges and pressures to experiment and push the limits in many ways.  Drinking and sex are all temptations that overwhelm a teen.  Temperance is put to the ultimate challenge with these urges both internal and external.   Unfortunately, through consistent bad habit, the virtue of temperance can be extinguished in a young soul if not protected.   Satan understands how he can influence the youth during this difficult phase and corrupt their innocence.

So the moral virtues are extremely important at any phase in our life, but especially important in the teen years.  While hampered due to the phase of life, teens with parental guidance can overcome many of the temptations associated with this age.

We pray our teens will have virtue in their life to know the differences between right and wrong
We pray our teens will have virtue in their life to know the differences between right and wrong

Parents need to though understand that mistakes can occur.  It is up to parents to properly manage their teens during this period and understand the conflict.   Culpability for the moral offenses can even be less before the eyes of God, but although teens are experiencing these new feelings, it is important to still hold accountability.  As parents, we stand before God for what our children become and it is important to help our children weather the storm of the teen years with proper guidance, restrictions and consequences.

A good moral life can be developed despite the storm of adolescence, but parents need to be willing to take the time and effort to water the seeds of virtue that were planted at Baptism and childhood.   The world and Satan will take your child if you let it, but it is ultimately up to you to say “NO”

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Christian Ecumenism or Indifferentism?

Christian Counseling and Ecumenism:  What Type of Dialogue

Christian Counseling and Christian Dialogue with the world involves a sharing of ideas and values, it does not mean denying core beliefs of Christ or trading them for other ideals.  In essence, many mistake Christian ecumenism as indifferentism.  People interpret that since Christians are open to dialogue, then they are willing to compromise or water down.   When people discover that this dialogue is not about compromise but sharing the truth, then Christians are accused of evangelization under the guise of ecumenism.
The problem lies in what Christian Ecumenism really is.  It is a dialogue with the world, but it is not a compromise of truth.  It also is not direct evangelization but a more passive form.  A form where the Christian does not come as a missionary but a brother.  The dialogue seeks to find common cultural and religious ideals that can begin a relationship of understanding that seeks unity instead of division.  Christian Ecumenism looks to unite all of God’s creatures and hopes to expose the truth of Christ to other brothers and sisters as equal partners in God’s world.
So many past images have existed where missionaries treated the indigenous people as savages.  While both sides have their stories from history, Christian Ecumenism looks to other people as enlightened and equal in human dignity.  While Christian Ecumenism can never lower Christ to Buddha or Mohammad, we can find value in some of the moral teachings in our open dialogue in understanding other people.
Christians involved in ecumenism do not seek to convert via debate but via example.  The open dialogue allows Christians an opportunity to share the gospel in an non-evasive way via example.  Through interaction, the ideal is not to weaken one’s faith but to understand others and to show others the value of Christ through action.
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Mark Moran, MA

Keeping Our Conscience Sharp

Christian Counseling and a Certain and Right Conscience

Christian Counselors need to constantly remind people of sharpening their conscience.  Our consciences can become weak overtime when we are overexposed to secular life and immoral conversation, pictures and friends.

With this in mind, it is extremely important to watch our company and to constantly train ourselves to feel the slightly prick from the slightest sin.  By examination of conscience each night, we can review our daily activity and acknowledge if our actions conformed with Christ.  We should not fall into the despair of scruples, but maintain a healthy reaction to each failure.  In our failures is our human nature and Christ does not wish to haunt us with them but merely to acknowledge them and have a firm purpose of amendment.

It is truly amazing when one begins to realize the “pleasures” of past that are truly seen in their true light.  The will pursues these illusionary goods, as Eve pursued the forbidden fruit.  With a sharper conscience, we are more attuned with the Holy Spirit and his grace.  We are able to detect the dirt of sin and the littlest stain on our soul upsets us.  This is the type of certain and rightly formed conscience we need.

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Mark Moran, MA

Ignatian Meditation

Ignatian Meditation

St. Ignatius Loyola presented a disciplined version of meditation that while disciplined also gave freedom to the soul to explore numerous images of contemplation about Christ and sin.  As founder of the Jesuits, he incorporated a military type religious movement that not only characterized his order but also his meditation techniques.  This disciplined form of meditation is key in helping the soul overcome the weakness of one’s fallen nature and creating a soul better equipped to reform and avoid sin.  Christian Counselors as well as merely spiritual counselors can all find value in the writings of St. Ignatius and his spiritual exercises in regards to meditation.

One of the primary themes found in meditation by St. Ignatius is his great emphasis on sin and repentance.  Many of the contemplations deal directly with the soul’s sins and how horrible sin is to the life of the soul.  Hence many reflections revolve around the passion of Christ, Hell, and how sin has corrupted the human race.  It is St. Ignatius’ goal to inspire within the soul a complete aversion of sin via perfect contrition that burns for the love of Christ.
This Christocentric form of meditation is obviously best suited for Christian Counseling but the rich spiritual nature of the meditations and exercises can also be applied to general spiritual counseling because it focuses on discernment and vocational choices as well.  While Christocentric, the primary goal is help the soul escape sin and rid itself of earthly attachments.  This is the key for most meditative processes.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C
 

Ignatian Fasting and Christian Counseling.

How Christian Counseling Can Use Ignatian Ideals

Ignatian spirituality can also be applied to the Lenten season or the Great Fast. St. Ignatius in his “Spiritual Exercises” laid out important guiding principles in proper fasting.

St. Ignatius points out that there is interior fasting which deals with the formation of moral character and exterior fasting which deals with sacrifices and penances of a bodily fashion. This exterior fasting is a result of the interior fasting and yearning of the soul to show penance.
According to St. Ignatius, denial of superfluous things is not fasting. Fasting does not include giving up special treats, but is a sacrifice that revolves around ordinary things that we deal with everyday. This is not to devalue sacrifices, but it is important to delineate between exercises in temperance and true fasting.
St. Ignatius listed three primary ways one can fast. The first he listed was food intake. In this, Ignatius reflects the values of the Church and its mandates for denial of meat and other meals during a proper fast day. The second type of fasting deals with denial of sleep. Sleep deprivation or removing basic comforts for sleep are encouraged for those who wish to fast this way. However, St. Ignatius emphasizes that one should not eliminate sleep if it hurts one’s health and prevents them from functioning in one’s daily duty. Finally, St. Ignatius stated that temporal suffering can be applied as long as it does not permanently harm the body. Examples of sack clothe that are hidden underneath one’s clothes is a perfect example for this.
Ultimately St. Ignatius believed fasting was meant to show Christ how much we love him and how much we wish to carry our crosses with him. St. Ignatius felt that such fasting would benefit the soul by teaching it mastery and discipline over the passions. He also saw fasting as important for petition and reparation for sin.  Christian Counseling sessions should also utilize these concepts.
by Mark Moran, MA