Grief Counseling Blog

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Grief Counseling Program: Suicide and Grief Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling and Suicide

The deepest element of suicide is despair and is something Grief counseling should watch out for. The Church for ages condemned this action as the unforgivable sin or the sin of Judas, but modern research has shown many suicides result not 

due to merely a loss of hope but also various mental maladies. With this in mind, pastoral care and grief counseling ideas have shifted within the church. No longer condemning and forbidding Christian burial, the church now compassionately prays for the soul of the departed and focuses on healing counseling techniques for the suffering family. The same important techniques need to be applied towards those who attempt to take their life. Suicide prevention and post suicide counseling is an important element in pastoral and Christian counseling. AIHCP offers courses for certification in Christian counseling, Grief Counseling and Christian grief counseling with special emphasis on pastoral response to suicide. If you feel a calling to help those in the deep despair and hope to bring ministry in this field to your parish or church, this certification may be helpful.

 

Grief Counseling and Prolonged Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling has to treat prolonged grief different than regular grief reactions.  While Bowlby’s ideas on attachment theory were originally designated for infants and their primary caregiver, the idea of attachment and the forming of bonds are still very important elements in how one will respond to a loss of a loved one.  In regards to complicated grief, its trajectories can lead to numerous pathological issues that need professionally addressed, however, surprisingly most people respond with resiliency to grief within the first six months.  Only 15 percent of the population experience complicated or prolonged symptoms.  Still, this number nevertheless represents a large number because everyone experiences loss.  With this in mind, treatment of prolonged grief is essential.

Grief Counseling and the Function of Sadness

The emotion of sadness serves two functions. In previous articles, we discussed how it allows the person time to reflect, meditate and heal from the loss.  This enables the person to find new meaning in one’s life narrative.  Secondly, we pointed out that sadness also manifests itself physically to awaken others to one’s needs of emotional support.  These components of the emotion of sadness are all natural and essential in normal grieving, but can become malignant to one’s emotional health if prolonged.
It is important to note that prolonged grief differs from depression.  In depression, one loses self esteem and feels emptiness due to no physical or mental stimuli but prolonged grief is an acute response to loss.  Prolonged grief is a desperate and painful yearning for the loss object.  It is an obsessive fixation that can find no value in anything else.  It is a haunting pain that finds only the ghosts of the deceased or loss.  It is also associated usually with guilt and lack of esteem in regard to the person and the deceased.  False notions breed within the mind, producing more intense yearnings that cannot even find joy in past memories.  These unhealthy attachments can also be intensified with people who were more economically or emotionally dependent upon the deceased.
Grief Counselors and other professional counselors can help those with prolong grief.  One treatment is exposure treatment.  Exposure treatment forces the person to face his or her pain and talk about the most painful aspect of the relationship with the deceased.  It is through this that counselor and patient can talk together about what the person feels is bothering them.  It is the hope of the counselor to find out if any false notions exist within the patient during this session.  Feelings of guilt, anger, or lack of self esteem can all be identified and addressed.  In addition to this, the counselor will eventually set up goals for the person.  Usually people who suffer from prolong grief have become reclusive.  The  grief counselor will try to push the person into the social settings to form new interests and attachments.  The purpose is not to eliminate the past attachment, but to help create a healthy adapted bond with the deceased.  The person should be able to integrate the loss of the deceased into his or her life narrative but also write new chapters and find happiness in other things.
While these things are crucial it is important to note two things.  First medication may also be applied.  In these cases, medical professionals need to be involved and second, since it is complicated grief, the grief counselor should be working in accordance with a LPC.  Of course, if the grief counselor is already an LPC, then this is all the better.
If you would like to learn how to become a certified Grief Counselor, then please review.
By Mark Moran, MA

Grief Counseling Certification: Grief Counselors and Traumatic Loss Effects On Society

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Traumatic loss affects the social structure.  Since we are social creatures by nature, the butterfly effect blows through the winds of life and affects every aspect of humanity.  Katrina, 911, and the latest Tsunami in Japan all reflect this as every corner of the Earth viewed the destruction from these events.  With these aspects in mind, grief counselors are called upon not only to treat victims but also bystanders who are scarred by the horrific sights and stories they witness in person or on television.

Themes Grief Counselors Can Face

A few themes noticed by experts include the following social ideas on how grief effects society.  First, the minimizing tendency to deny the possibility of traumatic events happening to oneself.  One is only to soon to proclaim, “This cannot happen to me”.  This leads to the dangerous idea and theme of how well unprepared people are for traumatic events.  One can especially see this in the case of government reactions.  It also shows that governments are far from void of emotional response as any other person would be.  Also one can see government response is not spared from classism and racism in its response. Another developing theme effecting society is the fact that death imprint is more universal and far reaching than ever before due to internet, television and up to date news.  During WWII, campaigns and victories were heard after the event, but today, one can witness the battle as it is fought.  Another theme is the fact that people socially accept natural catastrophes quicker than they do human caused pain.  Ideas of violence and genocide strike the human heart greater than the roar of a hurricane. Finally, one can also see a social theme addresses the importance of ritual.  When various rituals of burial are denied during massive catastrophes with great death, the grief recovery of an individual can be compromised.
All of these social implications point towards a variety of issues that can lead to complicated forms of grief not only in victims but also bystanders.  Grief counselors, social workers and other emergency relief workers should be aware of these things when helping those that are victims to great grief caused by nature or man. If you are interested in a grief counseling certification, please review our program.
Mark Moran, MA

Certified Grief Counseling and Oscillation

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The idea of oscillation is new to Grief Theory and  certified Grief counseling in that in incorporates happy states of reprise from sadness until the mind and soul are ready to encounter the sadness again.  This up and down process continues until severity and regularity gradually decrease and the person is able to cope better and adapt to everyday living. The West has for sometime been cautious of such feelings because it was thought to be a state of denial but modern psychological findings are discovering that people do indeed go through ups and downs during the grief

process.  This is not to dismiss stage theory as a useful analysis of the grief process but it does point that stage theory does have some inaccuracies in describing the universal phenomenon of grief.  In fact, many people do not even follow the chronological stages of grief.  The paradigm of traditional grief thought is being replaced with a more fluid process that understands the oscillation and resiliency as natural factors during the grief process.

Grief Counseling Meets Resiliency

The reality is resiliency is more common than thought and is a natural method of coping.  While early studies are trying to determine if resiliency is genetic, the common notion today is that it is psychological and some have better coping abilities than others.  Obviously the traumatic level of the event does objectively effect the coping but overall an individuals ability to cope both externally and internally is advantageous over those who only cope inwardly or outwardly.  Another element of coping involves one’s outlook.  People who are able to find good out of evil and have a higher power they find solitude in are more likely to exhibit resilient behavior than those who do not.
Grief counselors need to identify these factors and encourage them in their clients to foster greater and faster recovery.  Adaptation to loss is quicker for those who exhibit these traits. If grief counselors can identify these traits, they can help others cultivate them so as to avoid complicated or pathological states of grief in the future.

By Mark Moran, MA

Grief Counseling and Happiness

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The Emotion of Sadness and Grief Counseling

While the emotion of sadness can dominate grief, one finds very little talk of happiness in grief.  Such a contradiction defeats the purpose of loss.  Grief Counseling must also find that spurts of happiness are natural in grief.
Within Christian theology, out of grief can come victory.  Through Christ’s death came resurrection and liberation.  Also through one’s daily crosses comes heavenly reward.  From this perspective there exists a happiness amidst the grief.  While the happiness is not intimately tied with the emotion, it can co-exist and become ultimately a by-product.
From a psychological standpoint, happiness and normalcy is an important element during the grieving process.  Traditional paradigms of grief recovery list step by step processes that must follow a linear progression.  The reality is that while traditional models do tell us a lot about grief, they still cannot be used as universal paradigms.  People can skip various steps.  Also to note, many new ideas have completely dismissed step process and instead emphasize phases of grief as waves or oscillating peaks and valleys.  The peaks represent states of happiness or normalcy.  The subconscious mind while it needs grieving to heal cannot constantly grieve or one would mentally breakdown.  With this in mind, one must acknowledge that there are states during the grief recovery where the person does manifest moments of happiness and laughter.  This allows the person to continue life but still remember.  Certain days when work or school are not at the forefront, one can take time to reflect and grieve. This idea of happiness or moments of happiness during the grief cycle also point to issues that possibly dismiss preconceived notions of hidden or regressed grief that were not legitimate pathologies.
The reality is people are more resilient that many think.  While complicated grief does occur, majority of people overcome their grief in a healthy fashion.  Normal reactions during the grief cycle do indeed include an isolated “oasis” of humor, joy, happiness and normalcy within the dark and sad “desert” of grief recovery.
By Mark Moran, MA

Why Grief Counselors Must Understand the Function of Sadness

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counselors Must Understand the Function of Sadness

Emotions are extremely important to one’s biological survival.  The interwoven nature of the soul and body interact with each other and effect each other.  The emotions of the soul are
manifested in the body via various expressions or chemical reactions.  These emotions also serve various functions. Grief Counselors should take into account these functions.

One example of an emotion is anger.  Anger helps the person react properly to a threat and prepares the body for confrontation.  It also gives the body the expressions and mannerisms needed to ward off others in hopes of a peaceful resolution.
The same holds true for sadness.  Sadness as an emotion has a biological function that helps the body relate to lost and recover from it.  It forces the mind to reflect and dwell on the lost and to adjust the new life of not having that person.  Through dwelling and mourning, one comes to the reality that a loved one is lost but also comes to the reality of how one is going to deal with that loss.  In addition to this, while sadness exposes one to exterior threats due to mourning, it does also awaken others to the fact that something is not right.  This social functioning of sadness expresses need for help and allows other within the community to offer that help.
I would contend that all emotions serve a natural and biological functioning for healing of the body and socially interaction during emotional states.  In this way, the soul is able to communicate via the body.
In conclusion, anger and sadness are all important emotions.  They are not merely reactions to loss but also biological functions that stem from the mind and prepare the body for adaptation into a new state.  Again, grief counselors need to understand this.
By Mark Moran, MA

Grief: The Experience

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Everyone experiences grief differently, but there are several stages of the grieving process that are fairly universal.  

  1. Shock and Denial.
    This phase often manifests itself in a sort of numbness, a feeling of disbelief and a sense of helplessness.
  2. Pain and Guilt.
    As the shock abates, it is often replaced with feelings of longing for the one we have lost.  It is standard at this stage to experience guilt and remorse about things we may have done or not done, said or not said, to that person. Overwhelming emotional pain is difficult to deal with, and should not be stifled.
  3. Anger.
    A common question those in grief ask is ‘Why?’ Why Him/Her? Why us? Why me? Finding the answer to this question causes frustration and anger. It is common at this stage to try to find something or someone to blame, or take your frustration out on.
  4. Melancholy.
    You may experience a period of introversion. This stage of the process may leave you feeling low, and you may find you spend a lot of time reflecting on the experiences you had with your loved one. Those close to you will often try to encourage you not to wallow in your grief. However, this is an important part of the process. It allows you to work through your feelings about the one you have lost, as well as reflect on your time together. At this point that you can start to look toward the future, and might even see some hope on the horizon. The worst is over. Often, people in this stage of the process start to think about how they might best commemorate and celebrate the life of the person they have lost.  Deciding on an online memorial can be a great way to honour your loved ones. It allows you to have a permanent reminder of them which everyone can have access to, be involved in creating and even add to.
  5. Hope for the Future.
    The sense of hopelessness and despair you felt will start to lessen. You can now begin adjusting to life without the person you have lost.
  6. Readjustment and Acceptance.
    You will eventually begin to feel that you can settle in to new routines, and maybe even start making plans for your future. Life will seem less overwhelming. If you are experiencing prolonged grief, you may want to seek out the consult of a grief counselor. They can be very helpful in assisting you through the grief process or referring you for more intense treatment if need be.

American Academy of Grief Counseling and Program in Grief Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Prolonged Grief Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder are different but closely related. Please also review AIHCP's Grief Counseling CertificationProgram in Grief Counseling

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Posted on by Dominick Flarey

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