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Grief Counseling Can Help

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Can Help

The death of a child is the greatest pain a parent, can experience in their life. This excruciating loss is amplified because it is unnatural. The natural process is to watch one’s children grow into adulthood and eventually pass away leaving them secure and prepared for the world. The death of a child or adult son or daughter goes against all that is natural.  Grief counseling hopes to help those who lose a child or children. Grief counseling hopes to guide the parents through these difficult times and prevent complicated forms of grief from developing. The American Academy of Grief Counseling (AAGC) offers courses in grief counseling that can prepare counselors to help parents who lose their children or anyone experiencing grief. If you are qualified, you could become a grief counselor. Simply by taking the required courses, you could become eligible to become certified in bereavement counseling. If you are interested, you should review the grief program at AAGC and see if it correlates with your professional aspirations.
For the more information about grief counseling certificates please visit our webpage

Grief Counseling and Issues of Attachment

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief and Attachment

A lot of literature about grief is overwhelmingly death orientated. This is a good thing in that death is a universal experience but it is not an everyday thing. True, the loss of a loved one permeates one’s daily life long after the event, but the actual event is singular and for the more fortunate, not nearly as regular. The reality is most people go to counseling for relationship loss.  Grief counselors deal with many people who are devastated by divorce, a cheating spouse, a broken engagement, or the sudden change of not having that person to call, hold, or spend time with. These aspects are very common to the human experience. With proper guidance, the wounds become scars and help one grow emotionally and sometimes spiritually.

The loneliness and the un-needed anxiety people experience in finding a mate can be stressful enough for some, but when one truly believes they found the one, only to be shocked that everything was an illusion can be a horrifying change. Changes in life style from the tiniest schedule can shake the foundation of that person’s life. Even the smallest scent or image can bring a tidal wave of emotional imagery. Unfortunately there are no short cuts in this adaptation period. As so many grief specialists emphasize, one must do their “grief work”. They must experience the change the emotional pain that accompanies it. Of course, as death, there is the acceptance stage, the emotional stage of anger and mourning, and the final adaptation to the new situation.
A good grief counselor will guide the broken person through these phases and encourage emotional release in the healing process. Only after these initial steps, can the person utilize new meaning concepts to a new reality and properly place the lost relationship in its proper perspective of his or her life story.  The question arises why does this adaptation take so long for some people? It all varies based upon the level of attachment.  Attachment theory is a theory that was used in great depth with widows or widowers in their loss of a spouse. The same can be applied to broken relationships that do not involve death, but separation. The attachment will determine the length of the adaptation to the person. So, if someone was in a relationship for many years and suddenly the relationship ceased, one should expect a greater withdrawal and more intense and lengthy adaptation period. The opposite can be said for a short two month affair where there is little attachment and hence less adaptation.
As a grief counselor, it is important not to only deal with death but also every day pains of the heart. Proper understanding of attachment can help one assess the situation and lay a ground work for eventually adaptation and assimilation of the past into the person’s present. One can never give a time frame for recovery, but with a special guidance, a grief counselor can help a person understand the phases and steps and help them take the necessary steps for a happy future with someone else.  You can learn more about grief counseling, including available grief counseling courses and online study and training programs by doing an internet search for the American Academy of Grief Counseling.
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Commeration of Loss: Memorial Day

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Memorial Day Commerates Loss and the Grief Counseling Training Program

While grief strikes down many in this world, healthy recovery and adaptation are common elements in 80 percent of the population.  Commeration is one such healthy practice of adaptation to loss.  Commeration does not seek to hide the loss or escape it but accepts it.  In this acceptance, the loss becomes part of one’s present life story in a healthy way without erasing the previous chapters.
Memorial Day is one such commoration tool that our country uses at a mass social level.  It allows a grateful nation to remember the valor and honor of pass war heroes but also allow families to proudly commerate the loss of their loved ones.
This allows the family to proudly remember and honor their loss loved ones but also allow society to acknowledge the loss they experience and thank them for their loved one’s sacrifice.  This is an extremely therapeutic for the individual and also very helpful at a collective consciousness for the nation.
So today, realize, that while watching John Wayne blast Nazis, or watching Clint Eastwood lead the Dirty Dozen, we are also remembering the grief of loss heroes on a universally social level.
God bless the United States and our fallen heroes, may their souls rest in peace. Amen.
If you are interested in the grief counseling training program, please review the program.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Greatest Grief: The Loss of A Child

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Loss of a Child and a Certification in Grief Counseling

Within the circles of debate of emotional pain due to loss, many have speculated, and probably correctly, that the most intense emotional loss one can experience is the loss of one’s child.  The ingredients for it are already present: Extreme attachment and an unnatural and unexpected event.
First, the attachment of a parent to a child is unequaled.  Evolutionarily speaking, the drive for one to propagate and replicate one’s genetic DNA is a natural drive.  In nature, the drive to protect one’s offspring is apparent.  So at the first level, at the most instinctive levels of consciousness, one bonds with a child.  Add to the fact that humanity is a rational and sentient species, then one can understand an even deeper attachment with one’s offspring.  A spiritual connection develops and an intimate bond of nourishing and care forms between parent and child.  The child’s first breath, sight, touch, word and movement is all intimately documented by the parent.  This attachment while beautiful and good is also extremely fragile if broken.  It is the ironic cosmic paradox of the universe: one can gain love but lose it.  The greater the attachment, the greater the reaction to the loss of it- And there is no greater attachment than a parent-child bond.
Secondly, the loss of a child transgresses the natural order of life.  A parent is meant to guide and watch the child grow into adulthood.  As the parent ages, the son or daughter ironically then becomes the caretaker of the parent.  Ultimately, children bury their parents, parents usually do not bury their children.  This is especially harder on parents of children whose child dies in his or her youth, but the experience of pain is also great for parents who lose adult offspring .  In addition to this, as in any loss, the traumatic nature of the event may also play roles in the pain of a parent, while also the situation of the parent.  Is the parent older, alone, or financially dependent?

There is no doubt that the loss of a child is a devastating loss.  From tradition, one can merely look at the Pieta which ironically beautifully captures the essence of anguish a parent can experience at the loss of a child.
If you are interested in Grief Counseling Education, please review the program. The Program in Grief Counseling Education is an excellent way for qualified professionals to earn a certification in grief counseling.  A certification in grief counseling can be an excellent way to help others grieve the loss of a child.

 

by Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Grief: How Physicians Deal with it

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief When a Patient Dies

The medical community is not immune to grief reactions when patients die. In fact, many of them, especially oncologists confront the deaths of patients on an ongoing basis. How do they handle their grief when a patient dies? Do they handle it well or do they have difficulties in dealing with it? This article provides us with some insights which will help answer that question.

The article, “Cancer docs often deal with own grief, doubts when patients die”, by Lisa Esposito states

“(HealthDay) — Some cancer doctors may build up emotional walls — distancing themselves from the patients they can’t save — to avoid grief, sadness and even despair, new research shows.”

Full article: click here

Grief is a journey we all take sometime in our lives. For medical professionals it is an outcome of caring and is inherent in their career environment. Even professionals need help in dealing with their grief. Learn more about grief education, click here.
If you are interested in learning how to become a certified bereavement counselor, then please review.

New Grief Counseling Book “Devastating Losses”

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The loss of a child is never easy, especially if it was from suicide or drug abuse.   A new grief counseling book “Devastating Losses” takes a look at child loss due to suicide or drug overdose.   The authors William Feigelman, Ph.D.,  John Jordan, Ph.D., John McIntosh, Ph.D., Beverly Feigelman, LCSW do an excellent job of combining research and clinic study with the stories and voices of the bereaved parents.   The book further dives into the grief response of the loss and the best therapeutic healing techniques.    For more on “Devastating Losses” please read the following:

New Grief Counseling Book “Devastating Losses”

Please visit the following link for a full description of the book

For more information on grief counseling please feel free to visit our webpage.

Our Grief Counseling Certification can help you learn the tools you need to learn to help others.

 

If you have any questions about our Grief Counseling Certification, please review

Grief Counseling Education: “Good Grief”?

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Education: Grief Has a Purpose

Is there anything good about grief?  Grief is far from a pathological condition but is a natural reaction to loss.  While intense and painful it serves various functions.  When looking at grief, one cannot dismiss it, rush it, or ignore it but must embrace it and allow the natural psychological reactions to take place.

The loss of someone or something forever effects someone, but the time of adjustment or

adaptation is a transitional period where the emotion of grief serves a purpose.  Grief enables the person to express his or her feelings but also allows one to express it to others.  This social purpose of sadness alerts others of one’s emotional situation.  It cries for help and assistance.  Furthermore, although grief weakens one to the surrounding, it does present moments of osciallation where the grief subsides temporarily for the body to recover.  If grief was a constant strain, it would wreak havoc upon the person emotionally but since it is a natural reaction it does not seek to harm but gradually helps one to adapt.

So while far from enjoyable, grief does actually help people.  It is even more beneficial when you begin to apply it beyond the realms of science and see spiritual merit.  For this reason, most people who are religious generally develop better coping skills with loss because they can utilize grief as a spiritual cross that leads to victory.

If you are interested in Grief Counseling Education, please review the program.

 

Mark Moran, GC-C, SCC-C

 

Grief is Being Human

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief is not some strange disease you can suffer from.   It is not an emotional mental disorder.   Grieving is a natural part of our lives.  To grieve over the loss of someone close to you is normal.   It is part of the grief healing process. Grief counselors who specialize in grief counseling explain how keeping those feelings bottled up is actually bad for you.   For an excellent article on this subject, please read below:

Grief is Being Human

The article, “Grief is not an illness; it’s part of being human”, by Froma Harrop states

“We moderns seem determined to suppress all unhappiness with one exception: grief. The intense sadness following loss of a loved one still occupies a warm spot in our culture. We want that pain protected from the deadening analgesics of pharmaceuticals.”

For the full article please go here.

Let grief heal you.   Release the negative sadness and embrace your grieving.   Time will heal your heavy heart.   Your loved one might be gone but they will never be forgotten.
If you want to learn more about grief counseling please check out our website.
If you are also interested in training in grief counseling, then please review the program

How to Counsel the Grieving?

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

How to Counsel the Grieving?

The confusion in how to counsel the grieving of others is a complicated issue.  While there is an academic and scientific approach, the best advice is everyone is different and to approach each person in grief differently according to the situation.

Jennifer Fulwiler in her article “Grief is Messy” (National Catholic Register)  discovered this when a neighbor tragically was killed in an accident.

“A week ago last Saturday, I witnessed a terrible motorcycle accident in the neighborhood. I was the first person to check on the victim, and was not prepared for what I would find. The young rider had died instantly, but the scene was like something out of a war zone. When the police arrived, even veteran offices were shocked.”

Read the full article here

From this article one can the complications in approaching or counseling those in grief from one perspective.
If you are interested in grief counseling courses, please review the program here.
If you wish to become certified in grief and bereavement counseling, then please review the program.  Those who become certified in grief and bereavement counseling are after completion of courses, certified for three years.
If you have any questions, then please do not hesitate to contact us.

Pioneers of Grief Research

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Leaders in Grief Research

J. William Worden

 Worked with the grief of widows and how they moved on after the death of their husbands. His numerous awards and memberships are the following —Influential Leader Award in Grief and Loss, American Academy of Bereavement (2005) Association of Death Education & Counseling-ADEC (Founding Member) International Work Group on Death, Dying, and Bereavement-IWG (Founding Member) Influential Leader Award in Grief and Loss, American Academy of Bereavement (2005) Clinical Practice Award, Association of Death Education and Counseling (1993)

Elizabeth Kubler Ross
1926-2004- She was a psychiatrist and a pioneer in near death studies. She was the author of Death and Dying (1969) in which the Kubler-Ross model was first introduced.

Edward John Mostyn “John” Bowlby
1907–1990. He was a British psychologist most notable for his interest in child development and his ideas on attachment theory.

Erich Lindemann
Most notable for his studies on traumatic grief especially in regards to the Cocoanut Grove night club fire in the 1940s.

Sigmund Freud
1856-1939. He viewed grief as a pathological issue that if not resolved resulted in dysfunction.

One must purge him or herself from the attachment and form new relationships. This idea has been replaced with newer ideals of attachment theory and meaning making where the loss is reformatted into the life story and revered and respected but never totally removed from the self.

If you are interested in Grief Counseling Courses, please review the program.
If you would like to take grief counseling training, then please review.