John Bowlby was a revolutionary pioneer in the study of grief. His observations and experiments on infant dependency and bonds with the parent were important studies for his Attachment Theory. In essence, the greater the attachment and stronger the bond, the greater the loss and readjustment.
Bowbly studied the impact of bonds shared between babies and caregivers. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
In particular, his four step process of the grief process was important in understanding loss. Shock, yearning, despair and disorganization and finally re-organization and recovery were the four primary steps that he observed individuals progress through during a loss.
In the article, “What is Attachment Theory? Bowlby’s 4 Stages Explained” by Courtney Akerman, MA, Bowlby’s four step process is looked at in greater detail. The article states,
“The psychological theory of attachment was first described by John Bowlby, a psychoanalyst who researched the effects of separation between infants and their parents (Fraley, 2010). Bowlby hypothesized that the extreme behaviors infants engage in to avoid separation from a parent or when reconnecting with a physically separated parent—like crying, screaming, and clinging—were evolutionary mechanisms”
In understanding grief, it is important that grief counselors are very familiar with Bowlby’s work and how attachment plays a key role in the loss process. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling
Grief is a very misunderstood subject. Many who attempt to help, in reality, do more damage with misused words or good intended phrases. Grief is different for different people, and although there are universal standards within the human species, it still remains unique to each person.
There are many misconceptions regarding grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Misconceptions of grief hence need to be replaced with good sound grief theory. Individuals need to be more educated in how grief works since everyone experiences grief and noone is immune to it. In the end, the reality of grief captures everyone and once felt misconceptions are quickly dispersed
The article, “6 Common Misconceptions About Grief” by Elaine Roth explores common misconceptions and corrects them. She states,
“When I thought of grief before, I thought of a person crying at the funeral. I thought of a person wearing black for a few weeks. I thought grief could be summarized as big sadness. But that’s wrong. Grief isn’t just big sadness. It’s sadness and anger and anxiety and heartache and longing and nostalgia and hope all wrapped into one word. It’s often all of that at once.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Any type of change in life requires adjustment. The loss of a previous style of life can cause grief. While it is important to reframe new experiences and change as part of life and a new beginning it can sometimes be difficult. This is often the case when children go to college, or when individuals complete college and enter into the professional world. There is a true loss of a past way of life which may take time to adjust to and in some cases can cause depression
When life changes occur, depression and sadness can set in. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification Program
The article, “Post-College Depression: Why You Feel Lonely” by Emily Delzel looks at the transition from college to career life. She states,
“The sadness, loneliness, and anxiety that Baker felt after her college graduation are uncomfortable but not uncommon, says Libby O’Brien, PhD, a licensed professional counselor and American Counseling Association expert.”
Any life change can alter one’s perspective on life. When transitions occur, one can feel lonely and old friendships may become distant. These types of losses can minimized but they still bear a weight on someone.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification Program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Not everyone needs to be a licensed counselor or a certified grief counselor to help individuals suffering from grief, loss or depression. Family members sometimes are the first line of defense in spotting different behavior. Family can listen and help by validating the loss and grief and listening to the problems expressed.
Family and friends are the first to identify a depressed friend. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
There are an array of things that should and not should be said and this is why it is important to understand grief and depression. Words that validate the loss and offer help instead of judgement are key in helping a family member through grief. Also, openness regarding suicidal thoughts and asking a family member how bad they feel and if those thoughts have entered their mind. Knowing what to look for and the right questions to ask can save a life.
The article, “How to talk to friends or family struggling with depression” by Dr Yalda Safai looks at how friends and family can better talk with depressed family and friends. She states,
“For those whose loved ones are battling depression, remember that your reaction to their suffering matters. Being uncomfortable for a few minutes or hours is worth it if it saves a life. You can’t cure the person’s depression, but your moral support can do wonders. When faced with this situation, there are a few things you can do to help.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling
Different cultures have different experiences with loss and grief. African Americans and other racial minorities also face a variety of social grief especially within the last few years in regards to the value of Black Life. It is important to understand that one treatment of grief does not fit every person and culture and race play a big role how individuals grieve and the losses they potentially face.
People of color experience grief from different social perspectives. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The article, “How People of Color Experience Grief Differently” from Birmingham Times looks at the fears and losses for the black community. The article states,
“For many people of color, the fear, exhaustion and constant grief that all come from regularly dealing with various forms of discrimination are compounded when additional trauma piles on.”
People of color fear losses that other populations may not fear due to economic situations, police interaction and violence. These losses lead to a life that is very guarded. To understand the individual, it is hence important to understand what the race faces everyday
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
It is easy to displace emotion. When it is more convenient, or less impactful, one may become angry with someone who is not the cause of the irritation. When grieving, it is sometimes also easier to take it out on the person presenting the bad news. Like all defense mechanisms, they can happen at the unconscious level.
Displacement of emotion upon others can occur in grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
It is important to understand emotion and grieving and when helping others, to expect a displacement of emotion. It is important to be understanding and ready to forgive when one acts emotionally during grief.
The article, “Understanding Displacement While Grieving” from Eleanor Haley and “Whats Your Grief” takes a closer look at displacement and how to deal with it as the griever and the one supporting the griever. The article states,
“Sometimes the displacement is obvious – you know exactly when and why it is happening. Other times you just find yourself being more irritable, annoyed, or angry at the people around you, even when they have done nothing wrong. It can be complicated because often your rational-brain knows that they haven’t done anything, while your emotional-brain can’t help but lash out. ”
When dealing with emotions, it can become complicated and it is important as grief counselors to know that people react differently to grief and an array of emotions can flow. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Grief is a reaction to any loss. Sometimes this loss is focused on death but injuries and loss of capabilities or limbs are also a loss that many deal with daily. Losing a limb is tragic and is a loss that involves a long adaptation period. Numerous secondary losses stem from the initial trauma and pain.
Loss of a limb or other body part can take a long time to recover from. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Phantom pains can haunt one well after the initial accident, as well as emotional distress. The inability to do walk, or hold things, or do things prior the accident haunt the individual. Hobbies, activities and other events become cold memories of a life once was. In addition to this, one’s own self image and self esteem can be affected. Feeling less than whole and new forms of transportation or clothing may be required. These changes can cause grief and in some cases depression.
It is difficult to cope with such a loss but not impossible over time. As the grief of the loss is adjusted, one can begin to find new meaning. This does not mean, one accepts the loss as a good thing, it just means the person has incorporated this unfortunate incident into one’s life narrative and now is looking to find new ways to exist with a disability. Not just learning to make life easier through therapy, strengthening and new technology, but also seeing what other opportunities exist.
The article, “Limb Loss and Grief: 5 Coping Strategies for New Amputees” by Richard Console Jr takes a closer look at the grief of limb loss and how some can learn to cope. He states,
“Why does grief often accompany an amputation? Feelings of grief can arise from any kind of meaningful loss – and the loss of a limb certainly counts. In the case of amputation, the absent body part itself isn’t the only loss you suffer. Amputation also leads to many other kinds of losses.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four certification as a grief counselor.
During grief, multiple emotions can emerge. Anger, sadness and even guilt. Guilt especially can be a harmful emotion during grief because it tortures one over the loss of a loved one. Thoughts torture an individual regarding potentially the final days. Did the person do enough, did she say something mean she regrets, or did he not give enough time while the person was alive? These thoughts can torment the soul.
Second guessing oneself in grief and finding guilt can eat at the soul. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
In addition, some individuals find guilt in things that were beyond their control. The guilt eats away and when they discuss it, they discover the guilt was unfounded. This is especially true with children and magical thinking. In many cases, children may feel responsible for the death of a loved one because they wished it or thought it. Hence guilt can be a true poison in the grieving process and the only way to weed it out is to discuss it and share it with others.
Another type of guilt in loss is survivor guilt. When experiencing a traumatic event, the survivor sometimes may feel guilty they survived or feel guilty they did not do enough to save others. In reality, there should be no guilt, but the guilt still haunts them.
The article, “Grief and Guilt: ‘I can’t believe I did that’ edition” from “Whats Your Grief” takes a closer look at guilt and grief. The article states,
“When it comes to grief and guilt, these ‘if-then’ thoughts often come up around the thing we did or didn’t do. We think if something had been different, the outcome would have been better. It is easy to imagine that the alternate reality would be the perfect outcome we wish for, instead of the reality we’re living. We look back and think things like:”
The article lists numerous what if scenarios of what if, but then looks at why we do certain things in different situations. Stress response of fight or flight and our various crisis responses provoke different responses. So in reality, we respond in a given situation and are programmed to do so. Yet, in grief, we still look back with guilt, why we did not go to the funeral, or why we did not fight longer with treatments for our loved one, or wish we would have done that one little thing to change an outcome.
We as temporal beings cannot know the final end or whether an alternate ending is any better. In fact, the same ending may have occurred regardless and we can merely torture ourselves over and over in the mind.
We need to accept the past, shed guilt and realize our mind reacts to stress and crisis differently and we cannot return to that moment. What we can hold tightly to is we do what we feel is best at that moment and that we cherish and love our loved one. Our loved ones do not wish us to torture ourselves after their death. They want us to grieve healthy and not find guilt in their death but eventual acceptance.
If of a religious mind, we know they are in a better place and will one day reunite with us. In the meantime, holding on to guilt and other toxic emotion is unhealthy whether religious or not. The memory of the person lives on in us and they would never wish for us to hold on to unfounded guilt.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and the training for qualified professionals leads to a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Basic loss can be dealt with through coping and proceeding through the grieving process. However, sometimes, grief can become complicated or more intense and require deeper aid and assistance. Grief therapies can help an individual through loss and depression. Grief therapies however are conducted under professional licensed counselors or psychologists. If one is only a certified grief counselor, then they cannot delve into deeper grief pathologies, however, many licensed counselors and psychologists are also certified in grief counseling and may proceed with deeper treatments for deeper pathologies.
Some losses are so intense that the mind and heart do not heal and require deeper grief therapies. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Grief however in itself is not a pathology and these other treatments can help those dealing with basic loss if necessary. Some treatments in themselves involve cognitive responses to grief with reframing the loss or reinterpreting and others deal with deeper treatments in reviewing the loss and emotion. Therapists are able to guide someone through trauma or greater loss. Other therapies also include play therapy and art therapy for children.
The article, “Understanding Therapy for Grief and How It Can Help” from Healthline looks deeper at different grief therapies.
“It can be difficult to quantify or predict the outlook for people dealing with grief, especially since each person manages it in their own way. It’s also challenging to predict if any one treatment may work the best. Grief does not follow one particular path. Healing is unique to each individual, and the outlook for people dealing with grief looks different for each person. A therapist can play a key role in supporting the healing process by facilitating counseling sessions based on your situation.”
Again, certain therapies can only be conducted by different levels of training. Grief Counselors can usually deal with basic grief, but as grief becomes pathological or more deep therapy is needed, then higher trained professional are needed to help one through the loss. Identifying complicated grief is key.
Please also review The American Academy of Grief Counseling and its Grief Counseling Certification and see if it it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four certification as a grief counselor.
In diagnosis, psychologists are aware of the differences between Bi Polar and Depression. Both are mood disorders but Bi Polar Disorder has manic highs and lows, while depression is a permanent low. However, a manic low can last so long as to disguise itself as depression. It is important for licensed professional counselors to identify these differences.
Bi Polar or Depression? Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it matches your academic goals
The article, “Bipolar Disorder and Depression” from Healthline looks at these differences. The article states,
“A healthcare professional will examine you and ask about your mood and medical history. They may also request blood tests to rule out a thyroid condition or other medical condition that may cause symptoms similar to depression. A psychiatrist or other mental health professional can confirm the diagnosis.”
It is important for non licensed professionals who do grief counseling not to attempt to treat depression or bi polar but to refer them to licensed professional care. Some grief counselors who are already licensed care givers, can treat a patient but those who are not, must not attempt to counsel beyond basic loss and grief. Depression and Bi Polar require a higher training and licensed position.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in grief counseling.
