Christian Spiritual Counseling

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Helping One Find Forgiveness in Christian Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
One of the duties for spiritual directors or counselors is to help people find forgiveness. Within Catholic circles, this is usually accomplished sacramentally, while in Protestant circles it is accomplished in a more private manner. Regardless, in many cases, the person still may require counseling and need guidance in finding true forgiveness and ultimate healing.

Christian Counselors should look for these four elements

The first element in forgiveness is sincere confession and contrition. One must show a sincere effort not to sin again. This confession may be perfect or imperfect in regards to subjective motivation. Perfect contrition is sorrow for offending God, while imperfect contrition is fear of punishment. Regardless, both are sufficient for forgiveness and salvation, while the first is obviously the most sincere and the one that should be aimed for.
The second element is repentance. One must show a true intent to sin no more and carry out the necessary penance. If one truly attempts to change and alter his or her life, then the grace of the Holy Spirit is truly present in one’s conversion. If the person through human frailty falls back into the sin, then that person is to seek forgiveness again. Repetitious failure should become less and less as the person tries harder each time not to fall. Habitual vice become a huge issue here when counseling. Some moral theologians even contend that if one is trying very hard to escape vice and falls from time to time, then the culpability of the action is even lessened. The key is perseverance and fortitude.
The third element requires restitution. In some cases, especially sins against one’s neighbor, restitution may be necessary. This is especially the case with theft. One who seeks forgiveness must also fix the damage due to sin. Fortunately, in regards to Original Sin and personal sin, Christ has paid that price of restitution for us. In this regard, we bathe ourselves spiritually in the blood of Christ and through Baptism are made anew.
The final element of forgiveness involves forgiving others. As Our Lord commanded us, we are to forgive others if we ourselves are to find forgiveness.
Christian counselors need to help their spiritual children go through these stages of forgiveness and in some cases, reflect on their own spiritual life and see if they need spiritual renewal and forgiveness themselves.
Below is a Catholic prayer after confession. I feel it sums up the major elements of contrition and changing one’s life. I feel this prayer is beneficial to all Christians and not just Catholics alone.
“Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you because I detest all my sins which I have committed because I dread the lost of Heaven and the pains of Hell, but most of all because they offend you my God, who is deserving of all my love, I firmly resolve with the help of your grace to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen.”

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By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Counseling Certification: The "Yes" of Mary and Advent Reflections

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling Certification: Christian Perspectives on Advent

Advent is spent preparing for the coming of Christ. It reflects the patriarchs of the Old Testament’s patience and endurance for the coming of the Messiah.  Christian Counselors can help their spiritual children prepare for Christmas by reflecting on this.
Another purpose of Advent is to mediate on the person who made it possible. This person is the Virgin Mary who at the Annunciation, proclaimed “yes” to God and Gabrielle.

From this we can appreciate that through her “yes” she became the new Eve who ushered in the new Adam. Through her acceptance of God’s will, mankind would find redemption.
We as Christians must follow Mary’s “yes” and accept our crosses and the will of the Father. While our end can never marvel that of Mary’s, our “yes” to the plan of the Father is equally loved and accepted by our Him. If everyone was to say “yes” as Mary did, then the world would be a greater place.
As we prepare for the coming of Christ, also let us focus on God’s plan for us.
If you are interested in our Christian Counseling Certification Program, then please review it.

Mark Moran, MA

Simon of Cyrene: A Model for Christian Counselors

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The Story of Simon of Cyrene and how Christian Counselors Can Use It

The honor and prestige was not known to him. Nor the foreknowledge that the faithful would one day sing the stanza from the Stations of the Cross that his ”hesitation” was indeed a future “proud station” to be called upon “to bear the Cross of Christ”. None of these things swept through the frightened mind of Simon of Cyrene. He was a man of the country, suddenly thrown into a drama that not only involved Rome and Israel but involved the salvation of humanity with all the supernatural overtones between the forces of good and the forces of evil. All Simon knew is that he was forced to help this innocent and strange man carry the object of his death. He was to lessen the load of the cross that pierced Jesus’ shoulder and allow the weight of it to bear down upon his back; A gesture so small, but spiritually so great to the bloodied figure of Jesus who temporarily rested from the hideous weight of sin. Little did Simon know, he not only carried the load of his own personal sins but also the sin of Adam. This simple man only mentioned briefly in book of Mark, was called to a greater destiny than he could have ever imagined that sad day.  Christian Counselors can use much from this story for their spiritual children.

 

 In regards to a story so brief but a few lines, one can harvest a great deal of mediation and thought. This short essay will identify the role Simon played as a model for counselors and carriers of grief.
As a counselor, how many times does one see the affliction of the suffering? Does one simply watch as “Christ” falls before them or is one sprung to action, to help, to carry, and to comfort? It is true Simon felt this hesitation and in this we can proceed beyond him, but will we imitate his courage afterwards? Will we carry others as he carried the cross of Christ with compassion and strength? From this we realize that we must at times not only carry our own crosses in life, but must take an active role in carrying the crosses of others. Christ carried our cross as the ultimate example of self sacrifice. He carried our sins and our grief to Calvary. Simon’s ultimate honor was to partake in small part of that trek. In Christ, we see the ultimate success, but in Simon we saw the ultimate attempt. As broken creatures, Christ only asks for so little. He asks merely for sincere effort. He does not wish us, however, to sit and watch as others in grief fall, but to rise them up, to take their hand and help them carry their cross, even if it be for a little while.
Simon’s active role however is dualistic in merit. It was not only beneficial to fatigued and beaten Christ but was also beneficial to Simon’s salvation. Christ’s blood, sweat and tears are for Simon and by helping Christ, Simon partakes physically in the process of his own redemption. This is not by Simon’s merit nor is Simon the sacrifice. Simon’s role is merely helping Christ walk to Golgotha and in that he plays a small role in the redemptive process that is ultimately via Christ. At the time it is beyond the limits of Simon’s imagination that he is actually for a moment, carrying the grief of the world upon his shoulders; nor is it beyond his wildest dreams that angels stand around him in complete sorrow and agony crying at every drop of Christ’s precious blood. He does not see them stand in anxious upheaval to merely rush forward and carry the cross of Christ and lift it from his hands. But this is about God and man, not the fall of the angels. This concerns the role Simon plays as a representative of the fallen and the small favor man plays in serving Christ to the altar to be sacrificed. Christ as the perfect victim and priest will represent man as a perfect sacrifice and as God accept this sacrifice, but he will allow Simon to partake as a fellow representative of fallen man. Simon is far from the high priest of this sacrifice, but a mere server preparing the sacrifice for the priest to bless, consecrate and offer to the Father. In this, Simon not only helped prepare the sacrifice for humanity, but also prepared the great sacrifice for his own soul.
Besides the deep theological meditations that can be drawn from this and the personal merit gained by Simon, can this story also be applied to counselors of today? Is the case of Simon helping our Lord applicable universally to all people? Did not Christ say if you do it for the least of my brethren, then you did it for me? It is undeniable that when we help others carry their own crosses, albeit temporarily, we gain numerous grace and spiritual treasure as did Simon with Christ. In helping people carry their crosses, especially through the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, we then answer the questions of Christ regarding the least of our brethren. In carrying others, we carry our self, as Simon did for Christ. In this, Simon becomes a model to all Christian counselors. It is not enough to watch, but to partake and spiritually become involved in the redemption and care of one’s clients. It is a personal bond of mentorship, shared grief, and mutual growth. That is what separates a career from a vocation and that is what separated Simon from the apathetic crowd.
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By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Suffering and the Story of Job

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

 Avoiding the view that each book of Scripture is independent and written by men alone, the Church has always declared the entirety of Scripture to be an interconnected saga of God’s salvific plan for humanity. It is the Holy Spirit who illuminates the human writers and ties their thoughts together towards one divine plan that is centrally focused on the Christ event or the Incarnation. With such thoughts in mind, and dismissal of Modernist heresy and supposed “scholarly” interpretations of Scripture, I turn to the Book of Job and how it can be applied to Christian Suffering.

 The Book of Job is considered to be wisdom literature and the historic basis for it is subject to debate
within Christian circles. Whether the story is a history or not, however, is not a pertinent matter regarding the purity of the faith—as would be the case of the historicity of Adam, Moses, Jonah, or any other historic prophet. What matters most is its message. At first glance, the book shines light upon the issue of human suffering and misery. Its theodicy is not in depth nor does it attempt to bridge the enigma of an All Loving God who permits suffering. Those issues were later left for other theologians such as St. Augustine who would probe the philosophy of such things. Instead the book in its simplicity accepts a God who gives and takes and instead of questioning, merely accepts God’s omniscience in such matters. It points to the traditional view that suffering is a result of sin and one reaps what he sows in this life. This philosophy continues in Jewish circles today regarding earthly prosperity. Unfortunately, such overemphasis on temporal prosperity can find its roots from misconceptions from the speeches of Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar who propose that Job’s suffering was a result of reward/punishment system used by God. After Job’s many misfortunes, they attempted to console him but only hurt him more by their reproach that these misfortunes were due to sins. Job in turn declared he had committed no such sins and was a just man (as the text alludes) and proclaimed his innocence only to the irritation of his three friends. Hence enters a new philosophical thought on suffering – one that the human writer of Job could only hint at, but the Divine writer had already foreseen since the dawn of time. This theology on suffering was not simply a one layered element based upon sin, but also a theology that would elevate suffering to a supernatural level that would not correlate suffering with only sin but with redemption. These redemptive qualities were not seen by the human writer of Job within the context of the text, but the source of inspiration from the the Divine writer squarely pointed to Christ as the suffering servant. In this regards the Book of Job would lay foundations for Christological implications regarding Christ’s suffering and man’s redemption. Job became more than a tale about suffering, but a pre-figurement of Christ.

 Christian Suffering and the Old Testament

The whole idea of suffering and justice were tied together in the Old Testament. The death of Adam, the flooding of the world, the wandering in the desert, and the many miseries of Israel are all correlated with sinful actions. While sin is the source of suffering and the ultimate reason for the fall of man, the idea of suffering for purpose other than justice and judgment was foreign before the Book of Job. The author of Job presented an individual who was just before the Lord and did not deserve the sufferings that plagued him. Job, while far from stoic and controlling his anguish, never curses the Lord himself, but empathetically cries to God for answers, still loving him, but feeling and expressing the full effects of his unjust punishment. What benefit can come from this unneeded and unjust suffering? Was it merely a wager between God and Satan or was there more? Through Job’s unjust suffering and his offering and acceptance of it, Job elevates his suffering to a level of love; a love that proves his worth beyond mere observance of the law, but a love that sheds its own tears, blood and sweat. Job’s love for God becomes redemptive and his faithfulness is rewarded. A reward not based upon Old Jewish Law but a reward based solely on love—of a mutual loving covenant not a legalistic contract.
 With this theological view on suffering as a redemptive agent, one begins to see a Soteriology develop that corresponds with Christ’s unjust suffering, anguish, and death. Can one not see the Christ figure Job as a suffering servant as Christ was? Did not both cry to their father in their deepest anguish for him to reveal himself? Did not both refuse to allow the chalice of suffering to pass unless it was God’s will? Did not both suffer unjustly? Did not both ultimately rise from the ashes in the end? While Job is only a pre-figurement of Christ, one can see these resemblances. While it is obvious Christ was truly unspotted by sin and that his suffering was for the redemption of humanity, one can see in the story of Job, a foreshadowing of one who would elevate suffering to a new level and through his perfect sacrifice and unjust torture, would redeem humanity through suffering and death. It is with these thoughts that one can truly marvel at the intricate designs of the wholeness of Scripture in preparing the world for the Messiah who would not only suffer and carry our sins, but also teach us how to suffer with nobility, love and redemptive value.
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By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Counseling and Ash Wednesday

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling for Ash Wednesday

As the Great Fast begins for the Western Church one is reminded of one’s own vulnerability and eventual death through Ash Wednesday. From the words ashes to ashes and dust to dust, one recalls one’s own finiteness and frail and fallen human nature.  Christian spiritual directors should remind clients of this.
The theological significance is however greater than a mere reminder that one will not live forever. As the first day of Lent in the Western Church, its reminds one of the Sin of Adam and how that sin or Original Sin brought death into the world.
As that sin brought death into the world, so Christ, the New Adam, brought life to the world and destroyed the power of Original Sin. Lent is the time of remembrance of the Redemption and Christ’s ultimate victory. It is also a time for spiritual renewal and faith in Christ.
Ash Wednesday is reminder of man’s fall via Adam, and through Lent, we carry our crosses with Christ and on Easter Sunday are reminded of our rise and salvation via Christ.  Christian Counselors should guide their clients to these truths.
If you would like to learn more about taking Christian Counseling courses.

By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Counseling and Fat Tuesday Observations

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Program in Christian Counseling Training: Christian Counseling ideals for Preparation for Lent

During Christian Counseling sessions, one should direct the faithful to a more suitable Fat Tuesday celebration.  The decadent over indulgence found in the Fat Tuesday celebration or Mardi Gra is in its roots a secular and pagan ideal. While secular and atheistic society views it only as a “beads for deeds” celebration where one overwhelms there senses in a gluttonous feast of vice, one can find even greater alarm in Christian perspectives that see it as a night to “let go” before the great fast and cater to every lustful or concupscient thought or desire before the start of the Great Fast. “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow is Lent” seems to be the overtone and prevailing spiritual atmosphere.
With such a dangerous philosophy especially among Christians, one can see the dangers of Fat Tuesday. If one is preparing oneself for a spiritual renewal, one is not to purchase a license to sin the day before, or to take another analogy, if one is to be married the following day to one woman, one is not to engage with as many women sexually as possible. This is not preparation or true reform for a holy event.
In preparation of the Great Fast, Christians should prepare themselves spiritually for the fast via prayer to God for the necessary graces to improve themselves spiritually during Lent. Fat Tuesday defeats this purpose. Maybe such celebrations stem from man’s subconscious or the Church’s inability to completely de-secularize society regarding vice, but it is clear such celebrations when taken out of context are counter-productive to the whole purpose of the Great Fast.
This is not to say I condemn festivities before Lent, but I would say I condemn the mindset and the extremes some take on this day.  Christian Counseling needs to emphasize this during sessions that approach Lent.  If you are interested in Christian Counseling certification, please review the program in Christian Counseling Training.

By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Counseling and Lenten Sacrifices

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling guides for Lent

Christian Counseling sessions should guide people towards a proper Lenten attitude.  The words, “What did you give up for Lent” are important but also naïve. They are important because they emphasize the necessity of the spiritual time of Lent but also naïve because the Great Fast encompasses so much more than simply giving things up. The time of Lent is a time of spiritual renewal and focus on Christ not merely giving up chocolate or cake because it is a ritual you have done since grade school. The sacrifice must have meaning and sacrifice.

On many occasions, people give up things that have no relation to their spiritual life. Ideals such as going on a diet during Lent are totally unspiritual and not related to one’s spiritual growth. As well as such proclamations that one will give up smoking. These ideas are all good ideas but when one attempts to “double dip’ and package a diet as a Lenten sacrifice, then one trying to fool is themselves that this is actually a spiritual exercise.
During Christian Counseling, one should push one’s spiritual children towards true spiritual sacrifices that teach self control and help the body learn the mastery of the soul. These sacrifices teach the body self control but also remind one of the sacrifice of Christ. One should offer up these small sacrifices with a smile and boasting. Only too many times, do we see people boasting of their sacrifices. What does that merit? Did not Christ say to look clean when fasting? Did not Christ also emphasize the value of the man who prays quietly in the back of the Church? Christ stated the Father sees everything be not concerned what your fellow man witnesses.
Yet, even merely giving something up that is relevant is still naïve to the whole purpose of Lent. Lent is about growing spiritually. How does one grow spiritually besides fasting with the Church during Lent? People should find extra time for prayer, scripture and other forms of spiritual meditation that bring one closer to Christ. Pious practices such as the Stations of the Cross, or finding a particular prayer or novena are also important. In addition to this, performing examination of conscience and finding a particular vice that haunts oneself is important. After discovering the vice, one should work on that vice all Lent and hope to conquer it with the opposing virtue. If one exhibits spiritual sloth, one should vigorously work against it by pushing oneself to weekly Mass or Church service and emphasizing both morning and evening prayer. Also, for those who already have a health spiritual life, one should perhaps venture into deeper waters and attend daily Mass or conduct a daily scripture class with friends. Also spiritual exercises such as St. Ignatius or others throughout the ages that within the norms of Christian orthodoxy should be examined. Finally, one should show love of neighbor. Corporal and spiritual works of mercy and alms giving should be considered during this time.

One should avoid the narrow secularist’s interpretation of Lent where Christians merely give up chocolate or cake and not eat meat on Friday but should seek to a better spiritual awakening through an enhanced prayer life that seeks to build moral character and eliminate vice. Certified Spiritual Christian Counselors can help with this.

Christian Counseling and Lenten Guidelines

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling and Guidelines for Fasting Days

Christian Counseling sessions can prepare people for guidelines for Lent.  The Great Fast is upon us and for those interested in abstaining and fasting according to the norms of the Church, please feel free to do so whether Catholic or Protestant this is a time for the universal Church to share in Christ’s love for us by giving back.
If age 14 to 59, Catholics are obligated to participate in the following.
1st day of Lent is a Day of Fast which includes no meat and only one full meal with additional intake equaling only another full meal throughout the day. The only other day of Fast is Good Friday.
Days of Abstinence are all Fridays.
If you are Eastern Catholic, the first day of Lent of course is Monday and not Ash Wednesday. The Days of Fast are the first day of Lent and Good Friday, but fasting includes meat and no dairy with as many meals as one wishes minus the two food groups.
Days of Abstinence are all Wednesdays and Fridays. The Western Church removed the Wednesday requirement due to the conversion of the barbarians after the Fall of Rome. It was hard enough to make them give up meat on Friday. The more ancient tradition of Wednesday in addition to Friday continued in the East and to this day is still enforced on all Eastern Catholics and Orthodox Christians.
Of course Protestants have no ecclesiastical obligations, although many mainstream churches such as the Lutheran and Anglican Churches encourage these fasts and traditions. Non Denominational Christians and other less mainstream groups are encouraged to join others in this universal fast since all make up the Mystical Body of Christ.
As Christian Counselors, we should all help prepare everyone for the Great Fast.
If you want to earn a Christian counseling certification, then review.

By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Counseling and Lenten Ideas on the Numeral 40

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling and the Number 40

The Lenten theme of “40” and “Desert” is a reoccurring theme. Let us today look at the time of Israel and the 40 years in the desert and see how we can utilize this concept with Christian Counseling Ideals.
For doubting God after the numerous miracles, Israel was punished with a wandering in the

desert for Forty years. This was even imposed upon Moses. Only children under the age of 21 of that sinful generation would be spared the denial of the Promised Land. During this time, the Jewish people under the guidance of Moses wandered the desert for an additional Forty years. It would be under Joshua that they would eventually enter into the Holy Land.
Here we see two motifs that correlate with Lent. The idea of the number Forty being a period of repentance and the idea of a desert. The desert signifies the world and sin. In the temporal realm, Christian pilgrims on Earth suffer in the desert until the final reward of the Promised Land. As the faithful Israelites entered into the Promised Land after Forty years, so too shall the follower of Christ enter into the Promised Land which is Heaven.
This however is an Old Testament analogy of the desert led by the Prophet Moses, the next idea of “40” and the “Desert” is even more amazing via Christ in the New Testament. However, we will leave that for another day. In the meantime, it will suffice to meditate upon the wandering in the desert of the Jewish people and how it relates to our own wandering in the desert of the world.
If you want to learn how to become certified in Christian Counseling then review.

By Mark Moran, MA

Christian Counseling and Christ’s 40 Days in the Desert

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christ’s Time of Temptation

The ideal of the desert and the number Forty also are useful motifs for penance in the New Testament. These symbols as used in the Old Testament also relate to the New testament and continue the theme, especially in the case of Christ and his temptations in the desert.  Christian Counseling sessions should utilize this motiff for Lenten discussions.

Again emphasis is placed on the desert as a place where sacrifice and renewal is found against Satan. Satan tempted Christ three times. He urged him to jump and allow angels to catch him from a cliff, promised him food and demanded adoration in exchange for all the kingdoms of the material world. These temptations contradicted the fasting that Christ was undergoing. Whether Satan at this time realized that Christ was the Logos is speculated, but the fact he remains he did sense a holiness never found in previous prophets and wished to tempt Christ during his period of fasting. Ultimately, it is in the desert that Christ in all his humanity faces Satan and emerges victorious unlike the fall of Adam. In much the same way, we must fast in the world for Forty days and emerge victorious like Christ over Satan. While the temptations may differ, they still represent the devil’s attempt to destroy our Lenten sacrifices. What temptations does Satan give one? They could correlate with an opposite vice of a virtue we are practicing in Lent, or represent a desire we are trying to curb. In all these ways, we must pray to Christ to send these temptations away.
Through the Forty days of Lent, we must overcome temptation, renew our faith in Christ, fast and prepare for the Resurrection. As Christ emerged from the desert prepared to do his Father’s work, so can we emerge prepared to do the will of the Father.
If you are interested in the Christian Counseling Program, please review it over and see if it matches your academic needs.  As a certified Christian spiritual counselor, you can help others find Christ
By Mark Moran, MA