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The Christian Family and the Role of the Man

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The role of the man in the Christian family

The Christian Family is constantly besought with a variety of ideals that transgress the natural order of marriage.  Modern secular society presents numerous views of what a family should be or look like all the while distorting the gender roles of husband and wife.  These distortions come from a variety of gender stereotypes and immoral ideals that corrupt the natural dignity of masculinity and femininity.  With these things in mind, it is important to note that the spiritual nature of humanity corresponds with its physical gender.  The nature of man is not composed of merely one element, but two.  This inseparable nature of soul and matter is only temporarily torn via death as a result of sin.  Through this, the spiritual energy of man saturates the matter with all of its gender-like qualities.  Hence a man is man and a woman is a woman at one’s most center core.  A man and woman’s role within the family is then not based on social constructs or biological needs but at a deeper level that defines masculinity and feminity.

Within Christianity, these roles are clearly defined in marriage.  In another article, we looked at the role of woman in marriage, in this article we will look at the role of man as husband.  Christian counselors should take care to direct men to become good husbands that correspond with Christian morality.  The first and foremost concept is the divine command of Christ for husbands to love their wives as Christ so loved his Church.  This is not a small matter but one that correlates with a love that can lead one even to death.  Such love does not seek to dominate or abuse, but to cherish and love.  The husband loves his wife as his own flesh, hence two become one.
Another characteristic of man in marriage is his role of authority.  It is true that women are to obey their husbands.  This is clearly mentioned in Paul and explained in my other article.  The authority of husband over wife, however, is not arbitrary.  It coincides with the divine precedents of law and ultimately love.  The love of a husband for his wife will never allow his authority to become abusive or illegitimate.  It is also important to note that this authority is an authority of order not necessarily an authority over every single aspect.  As one flesh, decisions are still joint but the voice of authority is proclaimed through the husband as a visible source.  The wife, while never unequal, is the whisper behind her husband’s proclamation to the rest of the family.
Another characteristic is the element of strength and defense.  While stereotypes do place emphasis on the husband as the breadwinner, one cannot deny that some of these ideals do correlate with the evolutionary need of man to defend.  It is man who is blessed with strength to hunt and defend his woman.  Obviously these ideals evolved naturally but as a father and husband, these views also correlate with the spiritual nature of the family.  The father is the spiritual head and should be the source of discipline and strength, while the wife becomes the source of security.
The Christian husband should respect his wife, protect his family and guide them in prayer.  He should emulate the meekness of St. Joseph and always seek to put his family before himself.  This is the nature of a father and husband.  Christian counseling sessions with couples should emphasize the need for men to show this strength but also to have the gentleness of St. Joseph. In essence, as the mother teaches her children how to be good women, a father becomes an example on how to be a Christian man.
Christian Counseling is an excellent source for married couples to discover their roles in marriage.  Ultimately, it lies in the emulation of the greatest Christian family, which is the Holy Family.
If you would like to become trained in Christian Counseling, then please review the program.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Counseling Those Through the Guilt of Abortion

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Counseling the Guilt of Abortion

The guilt a parent feels after abortion is immense.  In counseling, one needs to not only

address the spiritual guilt but also help the person emotionally overcome the physical and social trauma of the realization one’s child was killed through one’s own doing.  The article below reviews the guilt of one woman and how she fought through this guilt to ultimately find forgiveness in the Lord.

This article is from the 700 club and is written by Julie Blim.  It is entitled, “Mother Finds Forgiveness After Secret Abortion”

“Secrets make you sick, and this secret was killing me,” Christina Ryan Claypool admits. “I worked in ministry, a Christian TV ministry, and I didn’t want people to know. My mother didn’t know. My best friends didn’t. No one knew.”

To read the full article, please click here

Counseling those who have taken the life of their own child is a difficult thing and it involves compassion, understanding and wisdom.
If you are interested in the Christian Counseling Program, please click here.
If you would like to learn how to start taking Christian Counseling Courses, then please review.

Christian Counseling and the “Challenge” of Atheism

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling against Atheism

Christian Counseling with Atheists or those who reject the existence of God is a difficult task because one does not have a common ground to build upon.  Both philosophies stem from very different ideals.  Where the Theist finds existence to be a product of God, the Atheist finds it to be a happen chance of nature, while where the Theist finds objective morality in God, the Atheist finds subjective morality in himself.

In dealing with an Atheist, Christian Counselors must first identify an Atheist’s mindset.  First and foremost, Atheism is a materialistic and humanistic philosophy that puts man at the center of everything.  It is truly the manifestation of the serpent’s temptation to Adam and Eve that “you will be like gods”.  Second, an Atheist is under the illusion that Theists come from a medieval philosophy devoid of reason and science.   In the Atheistic mindset, they are the modern man, equipped with the logic and science.  This image must be shattered in open debate and counseling.

A Theist and Christian must utilize sound logical philosophy and present science not as an enemy of faith but as a partner in truth.  Unfortunately, one cannot use sacred theology to counsel or debate an Atheist because they do not believe in it. Hence the necessity of good natural theology that finds logic and truth in man’s natural reasoning is necessary.

From this, one can utilize ideas on the Natural Law and other objectively binding ideals.  One should also be encouraged to use the philosophy of Socrates and his students in portraying the ideals of goodness and universality.

In regards to God, the Thomistic proofs for the existence of God are excellent sources.  These

include such arguments as cause, motion, and gradation. Also the Ontological Argument of St. Anselm can be applied in these cases, as well as later arguments of Design.

The Christian Counselor in the modern era must not only be equipped in counseling strategies but also be an excellent defender of the faith.  Christian Counseling must be apologetic in nature if it hopes to be beneficial when it comes under philosophical attack.

If you are interested in the program, please review the Christian Counseling Courses.

If you would also to learn how to become a certified Christian Counselor, also review.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Spiritual Direction in the Examinination of the Conscience

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Ignatian Spiritual Direction in the Examination of Conscience

In Spiritual Direction and Christian Counseling a critical way to help one determine one’s

primary sins and failings is via examination of conscience.  This technique of self evaluation is an important Christian tool in preparing one, if Catholic, for Reconciliation, or for a variety of other spiritual exercises that aim towards Christian perfection.  This article is in relation to Ignatian Spirituality  and will focus on the methodologies of St. Ignatius Loyola in examining one’s conscience.
In the First Week of the Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius focuses on cleaning one’s soul from malice and sin.  His approach is methodical, intense and detailed.  It can be likened to that of a physical diet or physical fitness plan but for the purification of the soul.  In it, St. Ignatius points out the particular examination and the general examination.  We will briefly look at both.
The start of the particular examination coincides with the start of the day.  In corresponds with the morning offering as one offers his or her day to God.  The morning focus should pin point what particular vice one wants to work on and avoid.  Around Noon, one should document in a notebook his progress.  For the particular day, the top line represents the first half of the day and the second line represents the second half.  One should number the amount of times one has failed the first half.  In the evening, one would also document the number of failures during the second half of the day and compare if there has been progress.  During the day, St. Ignatius also encourages one when they do fail to gently touch there breast in contrite remorse and say the name of Jesus.  This procedure continues throughout the day and following weeks with documentation from hour to hour, day to day and finally week to week.  This intense documentation trains one to constantly focus on the removal of the vice, noting failures and successes.
When focusing on the overall day and not just the particular vice in question, St. Ignatius recommends three categories of contemplation.  First one should reflect on one’s thoughts.  Did one deflect sinful thoughts?  Was it a struggle to do so?  Second, one should reflect on words.  Were the words said against God or creature?  Were the words in private or public?  Finally, one should reflect on all deeds.  He simply points out that one should correlate all actions with the Ten Commandments and see if the deeds of the day contradict God’s law or not.
In general examination, one is not focusing on a particular vice or documenting one’s daily spiritual progress but reviewing the overall activity of the soul.  In this case, the penitent should first thank God for all blessings and ask God for the grace to identify vice and correct it. The penitent should then give an itemized account of one’s actions day to day and week from week if possible.  Of course all actions are placed before the criteria of the commandments.  The final two stops involve an act of contrition for pardon of past sins and a firm resolution to amend one’s life.
Christian Counselors can help spiritual children conduct these exercises of self examination.  As a  counselor one must look at the person with kindness and understanding void of judgment or condemnation.  The role in Christian Counseling is to find improvement in these exercises and bring forth spiritual health and remove spiritual vice.
Also if you would like to learn how to enroll in a Christian Counseling Certification Program, please review it.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Christian Family and the Special Role of the Woman

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Role of Women in the Christian Family

Society has imprinted many roles of women in marriage.  Even evolutionary theory has   speculated about the natural need a woman has for protection and in turn the care she

supplies and returns to the man.  Christian marriage and the structure of the Christian family does not reflect social and biological roles but concerns itself more with the roles a woman plays from a spiritual aspect.  Secular roles and obligations differ with traditions and time, but Christian ideals are constant since they reflect the values of Christ.
Christian counseling needs to emphasize the proper roles of women in marriage that transcend social norms or prejudices.  First and foremost, man and woman are made one in marriage.  Since they are not two but one flesh, they inherently share in common authority.  While modernists and enemies of the faith hope to condemn scripture as patriarchal in nature, one cannot dismiss the reality that scripture teaches mutual respect between man and wife.  Merely the fact that one shares one flesh is enough to propose an equality of woman and man in marriage.  Without this understanding, the role of a woman in Christian marriage is forever destroyed.  The role of a woman in Christian marriage cannot be seen as inferior or unequal to that of the husband.  This is not Christian theology and is not the nature of the sacrament.
The second role or characteristic of women in marriage stems from Paul’s writings.  A definite order in Paul is being laid down in which the woman is to obey her husband.  While initially this seems very patriarchal and contrary to our first premise, one needs to fully understand the nature of this role of obedience.  If one reads further, Paul also tells husbands to love their wives as Christ so loved the church.  In this regard, the love of a husband correlates with the love of Christ.  Christ’s love of the church ended in death and self sacrifice.  Christ did command, Christ did teach and Christ did lead, but his commands were never contrary to one’s dignity, health, or salvation.  In fact, Christ’s orders are that of a loving father and do not transgress one’s free will or choice.  With this in mind, when Paul speaks of wives obeying their husbands, it is apparent that he is implying obedience for the sake of structure and in major issues that involve the sake of the family.  Does this imply the wife has no voice?  Does Christ not listen and love?  He takes into consideration our wants and desires.  Hence, this obedience is a healthy obedience that cannot be misquoted by some radicals to include subjugation of women.  Any form of subjugation would distort the true nature between obedience and love between husband and wife.
The third role is motherhood.  Only a woman can be a mother and with that comes innate qualities that no man can ever replicate.  We have heard of phrases that include a mother’s touch, or a mother’s whisper.  These elements are true.  Social constraints create images of the man as bread winner and the woman as homemaker and one cannot deny that there is some spiritual connection to these roles as well.  While these roles can be adjusted to financial and economic times, the fact remains that women have a spiritual nature that encompasses compassion, care and emotional security.  In this regards the mother becomes the heart of the home and the voice of reason.  Her love binds the family together and her sweet whispers calm all turbulence.  Her fidelity and care to the family make her the cornerstone for the families well being.  She is the sanctuary.
The final characteristic of women in marriage is Marian.  The woman as heart of the family takes upon a Marian role.  As Mary served as the binding force in the Holy Family and raised the infant Jesus, so wives today must also emulate Mary.  They must serve as the heart of the family and serve as role model in Christian purity and grace for her husband and children.  When others falter, she must be the center of prayer and guide the family through spiritual storms.  While this role can be said for both man and woman, it is only a woman that encompasses a serene emotional faith that can mold a family together.
When Christian counseling, a counselor should avoid stereotypes that are biased and place women in a subjugated state but they should also avoid secular values that pose as liberating.  So many secularists swing from one extreme to another.  Like a pendulum, they swing from subjugation to radical freedoms that betray womanhood and her important role in the family.  As Christian counselors, one must be a champion of woman equality but also emphasize her traditional role in the family without fear of secular outcry.
If you would like to take courses in Christian Counseling, then please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

The Christian Family and It’s Inherent Rights

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Family: Attacks from the World

The Christian Family serves as a beacon in the turbulent sea guiding others to the light of Christ.  It is blessed with an apostolic mission to preserve and preach the doctrines of Christ.  It is the Church in miniature.  It is of no wonder then that Satan would hope to destroy it.  Christian counselors, the church and the state have an obligation to defend the family from such onslaughts. 

Social pressures from beyond devalue the family.  Instances on the acceptability of divorce are widespread in the news and tabloids.  A desensitization has begun that numbs society to the lack of the binding nature of marriage. Beyond this exists the culture of death that promotes abortion , or other ideals that attempt to distort the nature of the conjugal act between man and wife.

If the attacks of the world do not come from social outlets they can also originate from the state.  Governments throughout the world, and in some cases even in America, hope to wedge themselves into affairs that do not concern them.  Issues of sex education arise as the state deems itself the authority to inform children of such sacred mysteries without parental consent.  Other agencies hope to strip parents of their inherent and God given right to educate their children.  Home Schooling has emerged as a counter revolt against the secularization and infestation of various heresies found in public schools.  Christian counseling should always champion these rights of the parents over the rights of the state in the raising and education of the child or children.

Sometimes the interference of the state goes beyond mere bureaucratic irritation but involves belligerent state interference.  In communist countries, the right of the parent and family to procreate is limited and in some cases, women and men are forced to become sexually sterilized.  Such satanic originated influence cries to God for justice.  The very nature of the family is assaulted by the government in these situations.

Christian counseling, the church, and the state need to become champions of the family.  Through the good advice of Christian counselors, families can understand their inherent rights and begin to show the fruits of their sacred union.

If you would like to become a certified Christian Counselor, then please review the program.

 

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

The Ideals of the Christian Family and Matrimony

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The Christian Family and Marriage

The Christian Family as the first cell of society finds its conception in marriage.  It is interesting to note that even at the purely social level, marriage formed a social constraint for the formation of society and the bringing of order at the micro level.  Yet this natural social evolution had deeper yearnings at the center of man’s soul.  The yearning for spiritual communion took this merely social institution to a level that also satisfied the spiritual and theological needs of man.  Within the spiritual structure of humanity, the Mystical Body of Christ found marriage also as its most intimate cellular level where a man and woman took a vow before God to love each other and remain faithful.  Through this intense love, two became one and an unbreakable bond was created that transcended the societal order.  

This sacred institution received it distinctive Christian mark via Christ at the wedding feast of Cana where in Catholic theology, it became a sacrament.  Protestant theology while not proclaiming the institution as a sacrament, nevertheless, shares a common belief that marriage is sacred and carries a serious bond.  Christian counselors find themselves in difficult situations when attempting to preserve these bonds of matrimony.  Various marital issues erupt that threaten to tear the very fabric of the union.  With such a heavy burden, Christian counseling must establish first and foremost the sacred nature of matrimony.  With this ideal in place, issues of finance, career, children, infidelity, or other selfish motives can hopefully be overcome.
In addition to dealing with an already existing Christian family, Christian counselors also deal with soon to be Christian families.  A Christian counselor during premarital or pre-Cana sessions, must evaluate the maturity and spiritual lives of the man and woman who are to marry.  During these early sessions, one should become acquainted with the future spouses and review their spiritual, financial and career goals.  While love is important, it is imperative to illuminate possible differences prior to vows and to help the future couple understand the problems they may face.  Other issues of importance include faith, the raising of children and ideas on what marriage is. 
Most importantly, the counselor must emphasize the theological importance of the sacrament and ascertain if both parties understand the bond that will exist.  Obviously after various sessions, the counselor becomes more aware of the couples maturity, understanding of marriage and if their goals correspond.  During this period of time, the couple may also become more aware of any differences they may have previously dismissed.
Ultimately in the end, it is the couple’s love that will define the marriage. If true love exists, all problems can be overcome, especially if the couple dedicates their union to God.  Men should emulate St. Joseph, while women emulate Mary.  The couple should to the best of their abilities imitate the ultimate paradigm of the Christian family; the Holy Family.
If you would like to become certified in Christian Counseling, please review the program.

Religious Counseling through the Teen Dating Years

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Family and Dating

As adolescents grow, they finally begin to notice the opposite sex.  As parents and Christian Counselors, we should not shun this natural progression of life, but we must guide it.  It must be nurtured and kept within the natural limits of God’s plan or it will become overcome with lust and distorted by the evil one.  In this regard, Christian dating is essential to preserving purity and taming lust.  Religious counseling is very important during these teen years.
Christian Spiritual Counseling should avoid extremes in this natural curiosity of the other gender.  Sex should not be 

painted as evil but it should not be illustrated either as a viable option before marriage.  A strong moral theology should be taught to children in the pre-adolescent years that avoids vivid detail but simultaneously presents a sacred view of sex, marriage and the other gender.  Unfortunately, modern society is very counter-productive to the good work of parents via television, internet and movies.  The occasion of sin is strong and parents must be as vigilant as ever. It is during these formative years that children need to be not only taught about morality but also must be shielded from impure influences.  Parents should not allow their children to become to comfortable with the other sex in play and visits.  Natural barriers of awkwardness between boys and girls are good things especially prior to the explosion of hormones during puberty.
During the early stages of one’s teen, parents should allow more freedom but only at a limited basis.  If your child is between 13 and 16, interaction with the other sex should be limited to group functions and supervised studying only.  It is also extremely important to become aware of who are the friends at these functions.  Parents should also monitor dress as to avoid impurities of mind when their children attend these events.  Finally, a parent should be on the looking out for the signs of smoking, drugs and alcohol.
During the later years of High school, parents should relinquish some of the chains and pray that their moral teachings have given root.  This does not mean that full freedom should be granted but 17 to 18 yr olds should be permitted to date alone without supervision.  While this is debated, I feel one needs to eventually trust a young adult.  However, time frames and rules should be laid down that require prohibitions on drinking, hours beyond midnight and checking in times.
For adults beyond the parental reins one should consider a few things for choosing a mate.  While many people focus first on physical looks and financial means, the most important element that sustains the relationship is faith.  If dating is only leading one towards sexual occasions of sins, then maybe the person should consider a new relationship with another person that may bear good fruits.  This is not to dismiss physical attraction and falling in love but in one’s early adult phase, it is only to easy to become acquainted with multiple “friends” and become sexually promiscuous.
Christian Counseling can only lay the seeds for pure relations.  As a parent we can control much in the formative years but not everything.  Ultimately it is the hope and goal that our children are raised with the faith and have the morals to make good decisions in the later teens and early twenties that will last them a life time.  This is the goal of any Christian Counselor or parent when it comes to dating and the eventual consummation of dating into marriage.
If you are interested in the Online Christian Counseling Certification Program, please review it.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C
 
 

Christian Counseling and Modernism

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling and Modernism

Counseling the doubtful is true when it comes to Modernism.  Unlike other isms that exist outside of the Church, Modernism originates from within the Church itself.  With this in mind, many followers become confused because of clergy or other teachers who support Modernistic ideals.  Hence when Christian Counseling people who are infected with Modernistic ideology it is important to have a clear understanding of traditional Christian concepts.
So what is Modernism?  Modernism was a philosophical movement at the end of the 19th and early 20th Century that hoped to marry the ideals of science with theology.  It wanted to modernize Christianity with new concepts of belief regarding Scriptural interpretation, the divinity of Christ and how God interacts with his creation.  The movement stemmed from within the Church and was quickly condemned by Church authorities.  Still, the movement survived and haunted the Church till the present day.  Whether during a sermon or at a lecture hall, the ideas of Modernism can be found. 

With these things in mind, Christian Counselors need to be aware of this heresy and its basic tenets.  Christian Counselors must also understand the correct orthodox theology and be able to articulate the truth to someone who is in doubt.
Christian Counseling can become an oasis of truth for many people.  This is especially important when we live in an era of Church history when the truth can even be distorted by those we trust most.   As Christ warned, there will be ‘wolves in sheep clothing’.  With this in mind, Christian Counselors should face the challenge of Modernism and present sound and true doctrine regarding Scripture and the divinity of Christ.
If you are interested in the Christian Counseling program and have a sincere objective to preserve and teach the truth of Christ, please consider and review the program and see if it fits your educational or professional needs.  Our program for Christian Counseling Certification is based on core courses that must be completed prior to certification.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C-, SCC-C

Christian Counseling Certification Program: The Gift of Children to the Christian Family

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Family: The Gift of Children
The child in marriage is the ultimate sign of reciprocal love between man and woman and is the ultimate gift to the Christian family.  It is the Trinitarian completion of the triangle of love that exists within the intimate circle of the family.  This outward sacramental manifestation of their love is a blessing from God.  It is one of the primary purposes of marriage and the conjugal act itself.  As Christian Counselors, we sometimes come across situations where we must advise in matters of rearing of children and in other cases comfort in cases of loss.  Other situations involve the frustrations couples can experience when attempting to conceive.  These and many other issues become sensitive issues in Christian Counseling.
Ultimately the gift of children in marriage fulfills many innate needs of man.  First, the biological and evolutionary drive to reproduce one’s genes to the next generation.  Second, the gift of children is a spiritual extension of oneself.  One’s legacy does not only exceed one’s life time but one’s memory and traditions are carried onward from generation to generation.  Not only is one’s physical attributes given but one’s ideals, religion, traditions and values are also carried on through one’s offspring.  Third, emotionally one is given something to cherish.  There is no greater love between parent and child.  These needs of caring are reciprocated as the parent cares for the child in his youth and returned as the child cares for his parent in the later years.

Theologically, the blessing of children is also a partaking and sharing in the creation of life.  As the married couple shares their intense love, God blesses this action with his presence.  God at the moment of conception touches the couple with the simultaneous creation of a soul.  A full human person, matter and soul at that moment come into existence becoming the ultimate manifestation of the couple’s love.
The blessings of children are indeed a great gift from God.  This is seen throughout Scripture as the Old Testament Patriarchs are blessed with fertility; Stories that reflect the extreme joy of conception from Sara to Elizabeth and even Mary’s own unique conception of Jesus portray this.  The joy of conception is revered within Christian circles and should be a time of great joy.  Religious Counseling should emphasize this joy and contradict the society of death that finds conception and children to be a hindrance to one’s materialistic life.  Instead Christian families should boldly declare to society that children are a blessing and not an inconvenience. 
In conclusion, Christ said let the little children come to me and that to enter into heaven, one must become like a child.  How could a family not want to be surrounded by such innocence?
If you are interested in the Christian Counseling Certification Program, please review it.

By Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C