The loss of a parent after the loss of a child is considered the most painful loss for individuals. Losing a parent not only hurts but also can leave an individual feeling left alone or by oneself. The younger one is the more difficult it is to adjust to the loss itself. It is important for those who still have their parents to enjoy them everyday
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification
Ecological Grief is a type of social grief. It can be more personal but is can also be shared. The term was first introduced by Aldo Leopold in the 1940s to describe the emotional pain tied to environmental losses. Glen Albrecht would later refer to it as a mental distress caused by environmental change. When individuals lose or perceive an anticipatory loss of something, either in a unique personal way or even a more distant way, a grief and distress can result.
Grief over loss of the environment is referred to as Ecological Grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The environment affects everyone. Whether the indigenous person directly affected, or the person who lives thousands miles away. A climate that changes for the worst will eventually affect everyone. The ripples of the effect do not forever remain isolated but affect the planet as a whole. This fear and anticipation the type of grief most experience, while unfortunately others are already feeling the direct effects of this type of loss through drought, flooding and extreme weather causing massive displacement.
Social scientists, Ashlee Cunsolo and Neville Ellis both wrote regarding the direct experience of climate change. Cunsolo dealt with the loss of identity of the northern tribes who live on the ice and find identity with the ice. With the polar icecaps melting at an alarming rate, their identity and way of life is being stolen from them. Meanwhile in Australia, Ellis pointed out how farmers for generations are no longer able to grow crops to extreme drought. They too are losing their identity. Indigenous people are losing their identity but also far worst things, including their homes, way of life but also their lives. Flooding and extreme weather are causing massive displacements. These types of grief of total loss create untold sorrow and trauma.
Those more distant from the fire itself are also starting to see small signs of altered weather, but also are in a state of anticipatory grief and fear. Like those who feared nuclear destruction, the new fear is global warming and its pending doom. Individuals fear for the future, their children’s future and what earth will be like by the end of the century.
In addition, many individuals are seeing the loss of climates and habitats. This universal loss to humanity is a great loss. Many grieve the bleaching of the Great Barrier Reef. Scientists witness first hand the loss of beautiful eco systems and divers see the horrible damage to the reefs due to global warming. The loss of beauty itself is a form of loss. As more beautiful habitats die and more animals go extinct, a piece of beauty dies not only for the current generation but also for future generations.
In dealing with ecological grief, individuals must know they are not alone. They must share their frustrations, discuss it and find like minded individuals. Lament the pain together and not only lament but focus on change. First, focus on what one can control. Work towards better ecological friendly life styles when applicable. Recycle, save energy, and try to reduce your carbon footprint. One can also take action at higher levels by becoming more active in political movements to save the planet. Finally, find the natural spaces that do exist, or create some of your own via gardening and partake in the beauty of nature.
Future generations will lose the beauty of animals and habitats due to global warming. Grief can push one to action
Unfortunately, there are many powers who value the dollar over the environment. These individuals push a false narrative against global warming. In addition, there are many individuals who are in denial of the pending problem. They choose to deny the problem and pretend it does not exist. Unfortunately, many powerful people in government as well as news outlet suffer from denial in their grieving process.
One cannot become caught up in denial and lies, but accept the reality that our planet is in need of serious help. Our grief for the situation can be a powerful catalyst to action. Like all social grief, it can lead to social action and change. By taking control of our grief and by playing our small part, we can grieve together but also change together.
If you would like to learn more about AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification then please review and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professional seeking a four year certification in grief counseling.
Sources
“Eco Grief: How to cope with the emotional impacts of climate change” by Aviva Fialkow
Loss is terrible but unnatural loss is even more painful. One type of unnatural loss is the loss of a child. When a parent dies before a child, it creates a pain so great that many label it the worst loss and pain one can emotionally experience.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Grief Counselor.
Happiness may seem subjective but the human soul and its very nature yearns one objective reality and that is God. Only God can answer the ultimate thirst of human happiness. All other forms of happiness while sometimes entertaining are temporary, or incomplete without God. When these objects of happiness are placed over God, only unhappiness can eventually result.
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Christian Counselor.
The Incarnation is central to Christian theology. Christ is both God and man. Through this miracle, Christ redeemed humanity. However, the theology over the ages has dealt with many heretical challenges to the nature of Jesus and both His Divinity and His Humanity.
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification as a Christian Counselor.
Funerals play a critical role in the grief process. They allow an individual to mourn publicly, find support and acknowledge the loss. It is an important step in the process but for the griever it is only the beginning. After the funeral and wake, many leave with condolences, but the individual griever is left with a year long process of adjusting to life without the loved one.
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Training Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a Grief Counseling Certification. Also please review AIHCP’s Funeral Associate Program
Talking about one’s grief is an important process in healing. Individuals need to share grief and experiences with others to help heal. When individuals discuss grief they can hear themselves talk and receive feedback in regards to their emotions.
It can sometimes be difficult to talk about grief. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
The article, “How to Talk About Your Grief” by Rachel Maier discusses how to better talk about one’s grief. She states,
“When you lose a child, it’s hard to express the oceanic depths of your heartache. I know this because I lost my child, too. Over time, I’ve gained perspective and learned how to talk about it. Talking about my loss was like lighting a lantern in a dark cave. It helped me escape the void of despair and begin to heal. Now, I’d like to help you do the same. Here are some tips to try, based on things I’ve learned while navigating how to talk about my loss.”
Please also a review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Grief Counselors are called to respond to grief. They are trained to listen to others and respond to the grieving process. Grief Counselors can help guide individuals through this maze of a process and help them find adjustment to the loss. Society also responds to grief in different ways.
Society responds to grief in many ways. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Program
The article, “Responding to the Grief of Others” by Grant Brenner looks closer at how grief is understood within society and how to respond. He states,
“Loss becomes more and more common as we get older. The same coping responses that serve us well at one time—disengaging from emotion, focusing on moving forward—may later lead to struggle as those adaptations characteristically pose barriers to self-awareness and connection with others. Healthy grieving requires not only drawing upon personal resources but also receiving appropriate support from those around us. This includes cultural responses to death and dying.”
Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional needs. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Communication is key in any form of counseling, especially in spiritual mentorship. Any dialogue or advising or counseling finds its basis in sound communication skills. Communication is essential to express ideas and information but the way one communicates is essential in any type of counseling or ministry. An individual who is brash or abrupt can squash any delicate spiritual child, while also one who is prideful and all knowing can turn one away from any meaningful conversation.
St Ignatius Loyola in his Spiritual Exercises established a variety of norms and practices in how to communicate, counsel and advise. His extensive knowledge of the human condition and how to help others through counseling and guidance are essential tools for any counselor. Unfortunately, many outside the his tradition, rarely read his works or are able to see the universal applications of his practices to spiritual life and counseling itself.
St Ignatius Loyola established some basic rules for communication which are essential in counseling. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Training
In this blog, we will shortly look at some important elements of communication and how to apply them towards counseling and spiritual mentorship. In addition, we will look at how an advisor can help his or her spiritual child through trial and tribulations from the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius Loyola.
St Ignatius’s first rule of communication is to understand the immense value of it. The purpose of life itself through speech and motions are to communicate. Life itself depends upon communication for social interaction to exist. Without communication, love itself cannot even expressed at any level. Hence communication and entering into communication beyond the mere social constructs are an act of opening oneself to another. This is especially more intense in counseling where communication helps to guide and heal. A mutual conversation hence holds to both parties a responsibility to each other, to hear each other and to be watchful and attentive.
In communicating, Ignatius emphasizes the importance of slow speech via his second rule. Care of speech and understanding of the words that come forth one’s mouth is important when counseling especially. So many times, individuals speak rapidly lead to misuse of words and tend to create an image of a person who would rather only hear oneself. In communication, especially counseling, words should be deliberate and thoughtful in their process. When speaking of theology or pastoral matters, it is even more important to hold to these standards.
The third rule, emphasizes the critical importance of listening during communication and counseling. Only through listening and silence can one come to a sound conclusion the emotions and feelings of the other person. Ignatius asks, what is the person saying and could I repeat the words correctly? After hearing the words, the counselor should feel the emotions connecting to the words themselves. Why does a person feel this way? Finally, Ignatius looks to understand the will behind the feelings and if the words match the feelings themselves.
In response, does one feel what anything in response to the words? Does one recognize what the other says and finally, what should one do in the conversation itself? Should one speak or remain silent regarding the information and conversation shared?
Ignatius’s fourth rule of silence deals with freedom from prejudice or bias. When one enters into a conversation, preconceived notions can poison a conversation. If a Christian meets with an atheist or if political, a rival from another party, pre-conceived notions can prevent a productive conversation. Ignatius points out that such pre decided notions prevent true movement within the conversation. One either feels the other already has conclusions made and the decision is already sealed. Additionally, when one dismisses pre-conceived bias, it shows respect for the other and opens them to more solutions. One must remember, no one side rarely holds all the cards, and that weaknesses can exist in both arguments. Ultimately, an understanding and respect must persist in such conversations.
Ignatius’s fifth rule of communication is avoiding the fallacy of an appeal to authority. In all critical thinking courses, the appeal to authority can be a double edged sword. When properly cited and utilized it can strengthen an argument but when it is arbitrarily utilized without reason or understanding, it can weaken the person’s argument and also in regards to conversation, create a dead end without any impasse.
Ignatius’s sixth rule of communication calls for modest lucidity. When one needs to express something and state something and cannot remain silent, it is critical to express oneself calmly and with humility. Arrogance, pride and a demanding presence creates a hostile environment in conversation and counseling. It is important to express feelings and facts but with a gentleness that soothes instead of stings.
Finally, Ignatius states in his seventh rule that enough time must be given to a conversation. Distractions, time restrictions and a rushed conversation devalues the communicative process.
In all conversation, Ignatius calls for love, humility and patience. He also calls for a mutual reverence to each other. In this a true listening or encounter can take place between individuals during the conversation and counseling process. Built into this mutual exchange is the necessity of trust. In counseling, trust is one of the most key cornerstone principles. A trust of non judgement and trust of fidelity to the secrecy of the conversation. Through trust, healing can take place because without trust, there is no revelation between individuals.
It is important to pay attention to differences as a counselor and mimic their characteristics. If one speaks lively, let that dictate, if one speaks more melancholic, then create that atmosphere. It is important for the setting to reflect the comfort and conversating styles of the individual. When dealing with more confrontation, Ignatius is motivated by love and to go where the other emotionally is. If the person is in the rain, then walk into the rain with them is an example he used. By this, we do not break down the door, but carefully with love of the soul, listen and when duty demands, speak with love and prepare oneself when confronted with those of great difference. Sometimes, instruction with love is needed, but sometimes agreeing with what is agreed upon and silence over what is not can be beneficial in the long run. Hence in advising, Ignatius found it best to be attentive in listening and cautious and gentle in speech. Attentive especially to the inner particularities of the individual.
How we communicate as counselors is important. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification
Ignatius also saw the adviser and counselor as a instrument of God or pen of God. The advisor follows rational rules of counseling and communication but is also always open to the spirit of the divine to help an individual. In essence, it is an encounter of love. As an adviser, Ignatius emphasized aiding others with the stirring of the spirits, discernment of the spirits and helping individuals through the spiritual journey itself. These are all essential elements of Christian Counseling and Christian Mentorship.
If you would like to learn more about AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification, then please review and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Christian Counseling.
In grief we deal with many emotions and its difficult to sometimes discuss it or experience it. We work through grief at our own pace and own way. It is because of this, it is important to avoid being bullied in grief and to have our own set of boundaries. We have discussed Grief Bullies in the past.
Grief bullies are individuals who attempt to impose their style of grieving on an individual. They also can try to diminish the grief of a person as not important or relevant. These individuals are an issue in themselves, but being able to stand up for oneself and set boundaries are critical. Grief boundaries are important in grieving and especially during the Holiday season. These are the times, when individuals, either grief bullies or good intentioned individuals may push the issue.
Emotional boundaries are important to begin with. In every part of life, it is critical to set boundaries. Whether at work, school or with friends, it is important not to allow individuals to push one around. While it is OK to help others, to be flexible and understanding, it is equally important to have boundaries that prevent individuals from imposing their will or impeding upon one’s limits. Hence it is important to have boundaries and also important to enforce those boundaries.
Help for grief is good but you can have boundaries in how you express with other people. Ultimately it is up to you. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
Boundaries can be enforced without hostility. They can be laid out calmly but firmly to individuals who test those grounds. Usually, individuals who unknowingly push a boundary only need told once, while others may need reminded more than that but it is important to hold firm to boundaries. Grief is no exception.
What’s Your Grief discussed a variety of ideas on Grief Boundaries in one of their most recent blogs. Some important information to take from it are as follows.,
In establishing a boundary, be clear, firm, and communicate it. Do not apologize for it, but be prepared to face questions that you owe no answer for. In addition, let the individual know of consequences when boundaries are crossed and be prepared to enforce it. In addition, be prepared to feel the natural discomfort that sometimes comes with standing up for oneself. Individuals worth keeping in your life, will understand.
In regards to grief, while it is sometimes good to take help, it is OK, if you are not ready for that help and it is OK to decline that help. Let others know, some days you may not feel that great and if you need time alone to respect that. Grief can make one feel unable to participate in going to an event or hanging with a friend. In these cases, it is OK to back out especially when you are first dealing with the sting of loss. Do not allow grief bullies to keep you in or keep you out.
Also feel free to dismiss questions that may seem to soon or intruding. You are not obligated to answer questions regarding your personal life. For instance, if dating seems too son, feel free to dismiss the question. In addition to this, one’s boundary should be able to decline advice and just ask one to simply listen. Sometimes, advice is not ready to be heard or not the advice we need. It is OK, to tell the well intentioned person, that you do not want advice but just an open ear. If individuals discuss with you their issues, it is also OK to let them know you are not in a place to help them because you are still dealing with your own grief.
It is OK also to decline to tell someone how a loved one passed. Sometimes people ask this secondary question. It is only up to you if you wish to share how a person died. You can tell them, it is to painful to recall, or you do not wish to relive it, or that the question is too triggering. You may say that you will talk about it another day, or you may say it is a private matter. Ultimately you should not disclose what makes you uncomfortable. You must set the boundary and live by it.
Boundaries in grief are important. Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification
During the Holidays, many of these things may occur. Family and friends will want to see you, or expect certain traditions or visits to be upheld. It is especially important to let family and friends know if you want to be alone or if you do not wish to celebrate that particular tradition. Maybe you are not ready and that is OK. Again it is important not to succumb to grief bullying.
Ultimately, you may make individuals uncomfortable when setting boundaries and that is OK. You need to let them know about your feelings and remind them you are moving at your own pace and speed in your grief.
If you would like to learn how to help others deal with grief, please review the American Academy of Grief Counseling’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Grief Counseling.
Related Source and Content
What’s Your Grief “Setting Your Grief Boundaries”–please click here to review
