certified spiritual counselor

Common Misconceptions About Online Couples Counseling

Posted on by Joseph Gerard

Couple in therapy

Written by Sylvia Smith.

Are you and your partner struggling with communication, placing trust in each other, or just feeling distant for a while? 

You’ve probably thought about couples counseling, but then another thought hits you: “Can therapy over a screen really help our relationship?”

Maybe that sounds familiar, and you’re not alone there. 

Many couples hesitate to try online couples counseling because of common misconceptions. Some worry it’s not as useful as in-person sessions. Others might think that it’s impersonal or only meant for long-distance relationships. 

But here’s the truth—online couples counseling is actually backed by research and has helped countless relationships across the world.

In fact, a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that online therapy can be just as effective as traditional face-to-face counseling, especially for improving communication and emotional connection between couples. 

Virtual counseling can offer you the same professional guidance—just with added convenience and flexibility. What matters is the right therapist and approach.

So why do these myths persist? Let’s break them down and see what online couples counseling is really about.

Debunking the biggest myths about online couples counseling

Online couples counseling has become a popular option for many relationships, yet myths and misunderstandings still hold some couples back. Some believe online therapy isn’t “real” therapy, while others assume it’s only for long-distance partners or tech-savvy individuals. 

But the reality? Online couples counseling is an effective, flexible, and professional approach to improving relationships.

Let’s break down the biggest myths and uncover the truth behind them.

1. “Online therapy isn’t as effective as in-person counseling”

A common fear in society is that virtual therapy lacks the depth of face-to-face sessions. But does online therapy work in reality? 

Research says yes! Studies have shown that online therapy can be just as effective as traditional in-office sessions, especially when it comes to improving emotional connection and communication.

Therapists use the same proven techniques in couples counseling online​ as they do in person. Whether it’s cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), emotionally focused therapy (EFT), or conflict resolution strategies, the methods remain the same—only the setting changes.

2. “You can’t build a real connection with a therapist online”

It’s easy to assume that a screen creates distance, but in reality, licensed therapists are trained to foster trust and connection, even in a virtual setting.

Through video calls, structured exercises, and interactive discussions, couples quickly find themselves opening up. Some even feel more at ease expressing emotions from the comfort of home rather than sitting across from a therapist in an unfamiliar office.

3. “It’s only for long-distance or tech-savvy couples”

While online couples counseling is great for long-distance partners, it’s not just for them. Any couple—whether living together or apart—can benefit from virtual therapy.

And no, you don’t need to be a tech genius! Most platforms are user-friendly, with simple links to join sessions. If you can video call a friend, you can do online therapy.

4. “You can’t have serious conversations over a screen”

There’s a misconception that deep, meaningful discussions can’t happen through a screen. But couples who try online counseling often find the opposite to be true.

Many feel more comfortable opening up at home rather than in a formal office. Without the pressure of face-to-face interactions, difficult topics—like trust issues, intimacy struggles, or resentment—can be easier to address.

If you’re wondering how to conduct a couples therapy session intake virtually, most platforms provide a simple, guided process to help you and your partner get started.

5. “Online therapy lacks privacy and confidentiality”

Concerned about privacy? That’s completely understandable. However, reputable online therapy platforms prioritize security.

Most use encrypted video calls, secure chat systems, and strict confidentiality policies to protect your personal information. You can also take extra steps, like using headphones, finding a private space, or scheduling sessions when you’re alone.

6. “It’s just a quick fix, not real therapy”

Some people assume online therapy is just a temporary band-aid for deeper problems. But that’s far from the truth.

Just like traditional therapy, online couples counseling follows structured plans tailored to your relationship’s needs. Therapists guide couples through long-term strategies, goal-setting, and action steps to create lasting change.

7. “It’s too expensive and not worth the money”

Worried about the cost? Here’s some good news—online therapy is often more affordable than in-person sessions.

It also saves money in other ways: no travel expenses, no need to take time off work, and no babysitter costs. Some insurance plans even cover couples counseling online​.

8. “It won’t work for serious relationship issues”

Some couples assume online therapy is only for minor conflicts, but that’s not true. Therapists help with everything from small misunderstandings to major issues like infidelity, trust rebuilding, and emotional disconnection.

Many couples who were on the verge of separation have saved their relationships through virtual therapy. The key is commitment and consistency.

9. “It’s too impersonal – just another video call”

Unlike a casual video call with a friend, online therapy is structured and interactive.

Therapists provide guided exercises, homework assignments, and follow-ups to track progress. You’re not just talking—you’re actively working toward a healthier relationship.

10. “If we need therapy, our relationship must be failing”

Many couples hesitate to seek help because they think it’s a sign their relationship is doomed. But in reality, strong couples go to therapy because they care about their relationship, not because it’s falling apart.

Online counseling isn’t just for couples in crisis—it’s for anyone who wants to strengthen their bond, improve communication, and deepen emotional intimacy.

How online couples counseling actually works

If you’ve never tried online couples counseling before, you might be wondering: What actually happens during a session? 

Many people don’t even consider it an option because they don’t know what to expect, and this leads to some of the biggest misconceptions about therapy. 

But the lesser known fact is online counseling can be more structured, professional, and designed to fit different relationship needs.

Let’s break it down so you know exactly how it works.

1. The different formats of online therapy

Online couples counseling isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. Depending on your preferences and comfort level, you can choose from different formats:

  • Live video sessions: The closest to traditional therapy, where you and your partner speak with a licensed therapist over a secure video call.
  • Live chat or messaging therapy: For couples who prefer texting over talking, this allows for real-time conversations with a therapist through secure messaging.
  • Self-paced programs: Some online therapy platforms offer guided exercises, videos, and worksheets that couples can complete on their own schedule, with or without therapist support.

Each format has its benefits, and choosing the right one depends on what works best for you and your partner.

2. What happens in a typical session?

A common question people ask is: Is online counseling effective? The answer lies in the structured approach that therapists follow. Here’s what you can expect in a typical session:

  • Step 1: Intake and Assessment – The therapist will begin by learning about your relationship dynamics, challenges, and goals. (If you’re wondering how to conduct a couples therapy session intake virtually, don’t worry—it’s usually done through an online questionnaire or a conversation in the first session.)
  • Step 2: Identifying Core Issues – Whether it’s communication problems, trust issues, or emotional distance, your therapist will help pinpoint the root causes.
  • Step 3: Personalized Strategies and Tools – Based on your specific situation, the therapist will guide you through techniques to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen your bond.
  • Step 4: Homework and Follow-Ups – Most online counseling programs include exercises or activities for couples to practice between sessions to reinforce progress.

3. The role of licensed therapists in online counseling

A major myth about virtual therapy is that it’s less professional than in-person sessions. But in reality, licensed therapists follow the same ethical and clinical guidelines in online couples counseling as they do in traditional settings.

Therapists use proven techniques like:
✅ Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps couples break negative thought patterns and improve problem-solving skills.
✅ Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Strengthens emotional bonds and teaches couples how to respond to each other’s needs.
✅ Gottman Method: Focuses on building intimacy, managing conflict, and increasing relationship satisfaction.

4. Online counseling pros and cons

Like anything, online therapy has its benefits and challenges.

Pros:
✔️ More flexible and convenient—no commuting or waiting rooms.
✔️ Often more affordable than in-person therapy.
✔️ Couples can attend from different locations if needed.
✔️ A comfortable setting makes it easier to open up.

Cons:
❌ Requires a stable internet connection for video calls.
❌ Some people miss the in-person presence of a therapist.
❌ Not ideal for situations requiring immediate crisis intervention.

5. Is online therapy right for you?

If you’re open to trying therapy but unsure where to start, online couples counseling might be the perfect first step. It’s structured, effective, and tailored to your unique relationship needs. While there are pros and cons, many couples find that the flexibility and accessibility make it a great option.

Instead of letting misconceptions about therapy hold you back, why not explore whether online counseling could be the solution you’ve been looking for?

Take this online quiz to see if therapy is right for you.

Benefits of choosing online therapy

If you and your partner have been thinking about counseling but struggle to find the time or the right fit, online couples counseling might be the perfect solution. While traditional therapy works for many, online therapy comes with unique benefits that make it easier, more accessible, and less intimidating.

1. Flexibility: Therapy that fits your life

One of the biggest challenges couples face with therapy is scheduling. Between work, family responsibilities, and personal commitments, finding time for in-person sessions can feel impossible.

With online therapy:
✅ You can schedule sessions at times that work best for both of you—whether that’s early mornings, late evenings, or even weekends.
✅ No need to worry about traffic, long commutes, or sitting in a waiting room.
✅ If you and your partner travel often or live in different locations, online therapy ensures you can still attend sessions together.

2. Accessibility: Therapy without barriers

For some couples, getting to a therapist’s office isn’t just inconvenient—it’s not an option at all.

✅ Long-distance couples can stay connected and work on their relationship even from different cities or countries.
✅ Mobility challenges? Online therapy eliminates the physical barriers that can make attending in-person sessions difficult.
✅ Live in a small town? Access to specialized couples therapists may be limited in certain areas, but online platforms let you connect with professionals worldwide.

3. Lower pressure: A comfortable space to open up

Opening up about your relationship struggles can feel intimidating, especially in a therapist’s office. Some couples find that talking from the comfort of their own home makes them feel more at ease.

✅ You can have your session in a familiar, private space—your living room, bedroom, or anywhere you feel comfortable.
✅ If you or your partner get anxious about speaking in person, online counseling offers messaging or chat-based options where you can express your thoughts without the pressure of face-to-face conversation.
✅ Many couples feel more relaxed and honest when they don’t have to sit across from a therapist in an unfamiliar setting.

With so much flexibility, accessibility, and comfort, online therapy can be an excellent way to strengthen your relationship—without the added stress of scheduling, commuting, or feeling pressured.

How to choose the right online therapist or platform

So, you’ve decided to give online couples counseling a shot—but with so many platforms and therapists available, how do you choose the right one? The truth is, not all online therapy services are the same, and finding the right fit can make all the difference in your experience.

1. Look for licensed professionals with couples counseling experience

Not every therapist specializes in relationships, and that’s important to remember. When searching for an online counselor, prioritize professionals who:

  • Are licensed and certified in your state or country.
  • Have experience specifically in couples counseling online—relationship dynamics require a different skill set than individual therapy.
  • Use evidence-based techniques, such as the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for relationships.

Many online therapy platforms allow you to filter therapists based on these credentials, so be sure to check their background before booking a session.

2. Read reviews and research platform security policies

Trust is a big part of therapy, and you want to ensure your private conversations remain confidential. Before signing up for a platform, ask yourself:

  • Is the platform secure? Look for encryption policies and confidentiality agreements that protect your personal information.
  • Does the platform have good reviews? Check for testimonials from other couples to see if the service is reputable and effective.
  • Are there flexible payment options? Some platforms offer subscription plans, pay-per-session models, or insurance coverage. Choose what fits your budget.

3. Choose a session format that fits your communication style

Every couple communicates differently, so it’s important to choose a therapy format that works best for you:

  • Prefer face-to-face conversations? Go for video-based sessions for a traditional therapy feel.
  • Find it easier to express yourself in writing? Look for platforms that offer messaging therapy or live chat.
  • Want self-paced guidance? Some platforms provide structured programs with guided exercises, which can be helpful between live sessions.

By taking the time to research and find the right therapist and platform, you’re setting yourself up for a better therapy experience—one that truly supports your relationship goals.

Takeaway: Don’t let misconceptions hold you back

Many couples hesitate to try therapy because of outdated beliefs or fear that it won’t work. But online couples counseling is real, effective, and widely accessible—and it has already helped thousands of couples reconnect and rebuild stronger relationships.

If you and your partner are struggling, or even if you just want to improve communication and strengthen your bond, online therapy is worth exploring.

Final thought: If you knew online therapy could bring you closer, wouldn’t you give it a chance?

Your relationship deserves the effort. And with online counseling, getting the help you need has never been easier. 

 

Author Bio – Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. She promotes living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.

 

 

 

Please also review AIHCP’s Spiritual Counseling Certification program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  These programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification

Christian Counseling and Good Stewardship of Time

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Is time the ever hunting predator or a special gift?  Some individuals fear each day as one’s life draws closer to its end.  Others see time as a precious gift to be utilized and appreciated for the moment.  Different mindsets can establish different life styles.  One can live in fear or one can better utilize the time that God has given to them.  Ultimately, what we discover after our 20s is that time starts to go faster.  This realization is not only due to a more established work schedule but also because the brain is learning less and experiencing less new things.  When younger, time seems to be forever.  Ever remember how long it would take for Christmas to arrive, but now it comes too fast?  A younger brain perceives time differently than a more mature brain and because of that as we grow older, the years seem to go faster.

Time can be seen as a predator out to get us or as a gift from God. Each day is a gift, spend it wisely.

 

So is time a predator?  Time is what we make of it.  As temporal beings, we are in an intimate relationship with time that we cannot escape.  Each second, each minute, day, month and year coincide with each breath, thought and action. Unlike God, who existed before time and exists outside of time, except within the Incarnation, God experiences each year simultaneously.  Each decade and each century are spits in a bucket to the eternal nature of God.  They exist side by side, witnessed and reviewed.  Since temporal creation is within time, it is subject to time and we must learn to accept our limited temporal existence and maximize its fruits.

Jesus relates in Matthew 25:14-30 the story of the servants and the talents.  Each servant according to their standing and ability were given coins by the master.  The first servant was given 5 coins, the second 3 coin and the third 1 coin.  Upon a certain amount of time, the master returned and asked what the servants had done with the coins.  The first had doubled, the second had added, and the third presented no growth.  Instead, he horded it and buried, only to return to it to the master.  The master furious, sent the servant away.

What can we learn from this story?  Jesus was teaching that we must produce in this world. We cannot horde our talents or gifts or waste precious time.  Time is limited and to sit on gifts and do nothing as time passes is not acceptable.  Instead we are called, even with very little, to show progress with the time given and spiritually grow and give back.  Those who waste time, fear time, or neglect their talents are misusing the gift of time.  Instead they fear it and progress with very little success in life.

Many experience this type of fear in life in middle age.  Those who have stagnated in life, revert back to past impulses and see their lack of fruits, while those who have worked hard, have a far easier time with aging.  Aging with success and accomplishment is key to self esteem but it is also key to spirituality as well.  As we grow, we hope by  middle age, we have also grown spiritually with God.  When we reach a ripe old age, if God wills, we should be able to look back with joy and happiness not despair and regret.  Those who work hard in life and do not waste time will bear fruit.  Many who show healthy aging have accomplished a variety of goals that Erick Erickson divides into 8 stages of human life.  When these stages are not met, then despair, sadness, and regret and regression emerge.  Wasting time in life, playing and not advancing physically, professionally, academically, mentally and emotionally is not only spiritually damaging but also psychologically damaging according to Erickson.

Have you neglected the time God has given with sloth and laziness instead of industry and faith?

 

A far simpler analogy is the story of the Three Little Pig. In the children’s tale, we see lazy and industrious mindsets and how one leads to safety and prosperity while the other leads to folly and danger.  The pig who plays the flute builds a straw house and wastes his time playing and not working, while the pig who plays the violin with him spends time building a stick house. While the stick house is more sturdy, it nonetheless is still destined for failure.  Upon the arrival of wolf, he classically blows the houses down.  The two run to the eldest brother, who did not play or wasted time, but employed the use of the shovel to build a strong brick house.  Ultimately, at least in the cartoon version, they find refuge with the older brother and defeat the wolf.

So time itself is something that needs to be properly utilized in life. No matter the age, doing things right and within the time given are keys to success.  Today, many youth seem to stagnate in their 20s.  There seems to be a new norm that life does not start till after college.  This leads to stagnation for many.  Instead of working harder, younger people party harder.  They seem to play the flute more than work the shovel.  Maturity seems to be coming later than past generations.  Families are made later in life with career goals prolonged into the distant.  Time though is of the essence.  It is still good to see young adults pushing forward in marriage and work.  Sometimes these commitments, even if in school, strengthen people. By placing faith in God, making commitments and growing up sooner is not a bad thing.  It may not be meant for all but the 20s should not be seen as a time to learn morality and make mistakes but to grow and mature academically and in the faith.  It is a time to foster relationships and if called to marriage, to find that special someone.  Late vocations to marriage and the priesthood or religious life are fine, but sometimes, individuals tend to waste time as an excuse to face responsibility in the world.  Sometimes, the youth need a push of encouragement instead of a safe place to waste time.

Those who appreciate time, appreciate now.  They appreciate family and friends and make time for them.  They realize the preciousness of duty in work, school, family and God.  They ensure that those obligations are met and not wasted in sloth, gluttony, drunkenness, frivolous spending,  and material things.  Instead they cherish goals, duty and love of God and family.  Through this, they appreciate each day and week and what it means to live and accomplish things.  All things are offered to God as prayer. Even in the smallest things, life itself becomes a prayer.  In this way, the return is great for the master unlike the servant who buried his coin.

Time Management

Time management is key. Once one understands that they need to utilize time better, then they are able to make real life changes and give back to God.  The first step is prioritizing life.  Duty to God, family and career need to be labeled universal objectives.  Things that take away, or prevent these duties and goals from being accomplished need to minimized, replaced, or given a certain time of week.  It can be very beneficial to divide the week up into days and list particular duties whether home, work, family, or to God.  Create a list and as things are accomplished to particular days, cross them off.  This can be very rewarding and the brain is known to send a feeling of pride and accomplishment.  Hence calendars, and duty lists can keep someone accountable but also allow them to see the progress.

As for longer term goals, one needs to address what one wishes to achieve it.  One can do research during a phase of time and then start to bring the research to application and work.  One should assign a certain amount of time it would logically take to accomplish certain goals, both professionally and academically.  One can then have a rough outline of where one wishes to be in one year in comparison to another year in regards to goals.

Again, the most critical element is living each day and completing it.  Giving each day to God as a prayer and finding value in what matters most in life.  Appreciating the finite reality of time and what exists in one’s life now may not exist later.  Appreciate, love and give praise to God each day for what is good and then pray to God to help one achieve what needs to be done in the future.

Conclusion

Much can be said about utilizing time properly.  Yes, there needs to be balance.  Too much work and no relaxation can be damaging to the body and mind, but one needs to be conscious of time and appreciate it but also realize that no day is guaranteed.   Christian Counselors, pastors and spiritual directors can better guide young people in the proper direction of life.  They can point towards goals and duties and how important it is to offer to God everyday, one day at a time.  They can remind the youth of the value of time and how to be a proper steward of it.

We are stewards of time God has given us. Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification

 

Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals.

Additional Resources

New King James Version. Matthew 25:14-30.  Bible Gateway.  Access here

“Teaching Time Management to Teens: Less Stress, More Balance”. Baum, R., Shahidullah, J. (2023). HealthyChildren.org.  Access here

“Stop Wasting Time: How to Live Life to the Fullest”. Becker-Phelps, L. (2022). Psychology Today. Access here

“How to Stop Wasting Time”. Baby, D. (2023). WebMD. Access here