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Andy Whitfield and His Fight with Death

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

A Gladiator Who Fought Cancer and Died with Dignity

Andy Whitfield, the actor in the Sparticus from Starz, represented on the screen a strong and powerful leader who would lead a slave rebellion against the powers of Rome, in real life, he was a strong and powerful father who would lead his own fight against cancer.  Unfortunately, like Sparticus, Andy also while defying the odds, fell victim to defeat.  Yet as Sparticus, one cannot deny the fortitude and strength of Andy as he faced death.  In this, we can all be impressed.

Nicki Gostin writes in QA: ‘Spartacus’ star Andy Whitfield’s widow making doc about his fight with  cancer; calls death ‘beautiful,’ ‘heartbreaking’ about the story of Andy Whitfield and how he said good bye to his family.

“In March 2010, Andy Whitfield was preparing to shoot the second season of the  television series “Spartacus” when he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  The Welsh born actor was told that, given his age and fitness, with treatment,  there was every hope for a full recovery. He immediately began chemotherapy and  six weeks after the last session, a scan revealed the cancer was gone.”

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This sad story of grief and death also hopes to show the beauty of commeration and eventually restoration in the next life. 
If you would like to take courses in grief counseling, then please review the program.
If you are interested in bereavement education, please click here

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Three Conditions of Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The Three Bonds That Provoke The Grief Reaction

There are three states of being in regards to grief reaction that grief counselors and other psychological professionals have identified.  They deal primarily with the state of bonding and the loss that correlates with that.  Like all ideal states of happiness, things can be taken, threatened or never fulfilled.  This is the state of man in the fallen and temporal world.  True happiness can never be found in this world which forces people to seek the supernatural where in the next life, happiness is never lost, threatened or unfulfilled.
In regards to grief, the change that participates the loss creates grief within the heart of the person.  When someone loses a loved one, the bond is broken or altered.  This can be compared to death, broken relationships or divorce.  In regards to death, this bond can later be re-altered into a new relationship.  When this adjustment is accomplished, one then officially heals, although, the anxiety of separation always exists but at normal pre-loss levels.
Grief, however, can be felt if any existing bond is threatened.  For instance, the mere thought of losing a loved one can cause an ache within the heart.  Also, people who care for their terminally ill family, also experience the threat to an existing bond.
Finally, the unestablished bond creates an emptiness within the heart of man.  The miscarriage, the unreciprocated love, or any dream that can never become a reality are found in this pains.

These are the painful losses people can experience due to bonding.  It is quite ironic that what feeds the soul of man via social interaction is also eventually his greatest pain.  This again only alludes to the reality that the temporal plane is not man’s highest aim for no true happiness can come in this valley tears, but every now and then, a bond is formed, and that bond gives us a glimpse of the eternal bond we will share in Heaven.
If you are interested in Grief Counseling Training, please review the program.
(Material for this blog was found in “Helping Grieving People-When Tears Are Not Enough” by J. Shep Jeffereys

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Human Grief and Basic Principles

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Seven Principles of Human Grief

There are seven principles that collect the vast and diverse experience of human emotion and grief.  Grief counselors should be aware of these seven principles when counseling the bereaved.
The first principle is there is no one right way to grieve.  Remembering this will prevent counselors from forcing everyone into one paradigm that may not fit for a particular person.  For instance, some people show resilience in their grieving.  If one was to assert that these people are in denial, then proper counseling would not correlate with those who are in fact resilient.
Second, one cannot fix or cure grief.  This is fundamental.  Grief is a natural process that must work itself through due to loss.
Third, there is no universal time table.  Although most professionals give normal grief reactions six months to come to a acceptable close, one cannot assert this for every individual.  There are too many variables that can influence how long one will grieve verus another person.
Fourth, every loss is a multiple loss.  This simply means, when one loses someone, they also lose another aspect in their life.  These are called secondary losses.  A wife who loses a husband, not only loses her love, but also loses a bread winner.
Fifth, is a simple equation that all should remember: Change=Loss=Grief.  Any type of change produces a loss of something that was previously different.  In the losing of the past, grief takes place, even if the change brings some joy as well.  An example of this would be moving away from home.  The new challenges and start are exciting, but we are still losing some part of life we once cherished.
Sixth, when one grieves a new loss, we also grieve old losses.  It is only natural to compare and contrast the present with the past.  The dying of a loved one can remind us of the loss of past loved ones and how they suffered.
Finally, we can grieve when a loss has occurred or is even threatened.  This is referred to as Anticipatory Grief.
If you are interested in Grief Counseling Training, please review the program.
(The Seven Principles of Grief can be found in the text, “Helping Grieving People-When Tears Are Not Enough” by J. Shep Jeffreys)

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

A Broken Heart

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

You Broke My Heart-Literally?

People who lose a loved one are quite sorrow strucken, so strucken that the phrase, “a broken heart” is used.  Yet, does the heart itself, as an organ, and not a metaphorical symbol suffer really?  Recent studies show that the heart itself can suffer physical symptoms from extreme grief.

The online news agency,  Dailymail, in the article, “How broken heart syndrome PROTECTS the grief-stricken from dying” discusses this below.

“People who suffer from intense grief after the death of a loved one are often said to be at risk of dying from a broken heart after developing symptoms of cardiac arrest.”

To read more, click here

If you are interested in Grief Counseling Education, please click here.
For those who want to learn how to become certified in bereavement counseling, please review.
AIHCP

Grief and the Program in Grief Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief is an emotion that is extremely important. It is a natural emotion to loss or suffering. It is beneficial because it allows the mind to heal and adjust. It also allows others to understand the pain one is experiencing. Yet the loss of someone or something is far from beneficial. Grief merely as a reaction helps one overcome the loss and readjust. Grief comes in many forms and types of reactions. Some reactions are normal while other trajectories lead one down a road of complications. These types of grief can be concomitant, delayed, masked, extreme or result in depression. These pathological reactions to loss usually require counseling or medication. The reality most people experience healthy grief reactions and show resiliency in their return. This does not mean the grief vanishes but it does mean one is able to focus, adjust and conform their new life story to the loss. This is healthy grief and while the loss is horrible, the emotion itself is beneficial in a fallen world.
By Juan Espinoza
If you would like to learn more about grief counseling, then please review the program.  The program in grief counseling is an excellent way to become certified.  The Program in grief counseling has four core courses.  Upon completion, qualified professionals are eligible for certification.

Getting Through Grief with Grief Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Gets Us Through Our Grief

Loss is something that we all go through, but it is always unexpected no matter how long we have had to prepare for it. Certain relationships in our lives are just so important that the death of one of the people can wreak havoc on the emotional state of the other. Death is not something that the human mind can comprehend, and sadness can threaten to take over a life and turn into the kind of chronic depression that debilitates a person. When you have lost a loved one and are finding that your sadness is becoming a depression that you just can not shake and if it is getting in the way of your every day activities, then it may be time to explore things with a grief counselor. This is a counselor who is specially trained  in grief counseling to help people express their sadness and work through it without rushing them.
By Seth McGee

If you have any interest in taking bereavement counseling courses, then please review.

Grief counseling courses help with grieving

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief counseling courses

Grief counseling courses can be very helpful if you have suffered the loss of a friend or family member. It can be hard to process the emotions that are associated with grief. Grief counseling courses can help you find your way through the grief so that you can move on with your life. It is important to take the courses seriously and embrace what they have to teach you. Everyone processes grief differently so it takes time to deal with what has happened. You can find these courses online and many hospitals hold them for people. It is a good idea for parents to get their children these courses because young children often have problems with processing their emotions. It can be beneficial for children to be able to talk about how they are feeling with a neutral third party so that they can communicate what they are going through and get some closure.
If you are interested in taking grief counseling courses, then please review.  Qualified professionals can achieve certification after completion of the core grief counseling courses.

Griefs Greatest Pains: The Loss of a Spouse

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Losing a Spouse

The loss of a spouse is one of life’s greatest pains along with the loss of parents or the loss of a child.  One’s husband or wife is a life long friend and mate who went through ‘better or worst” and grew old with you in all the hills and valleys of life.  The loss and sudden loss of this friend can be crippling to some.  While many are not totally crippled by the loss, the severe sting and pain is intense.
In analyzing this loss, one must look at various components that will reflect the level of grief due to loss and whether or not the grief could become pathological.  First, as in call cases of human relations, the attachment between the two individuals plays a key role in the reactionary grief to the loss.  Obviously, spousal love is an intense attachment so in most cases, grief is intense and longer than a casual relationship.
Yet the intensity of the attachment differs from different couples.  Grief Counselors need to identify the dependency factor in a client’s relationship with their deceased spouse.  Some spouses are completely emotionally dependent upon the other.  The loss of a spouse leaves them alone and terrified of the outside world.  Another dependency is financial.  Some spouses completely depend on their other for financial support or even physical support with house or yard work.  When dependencies are greater, then the grief can become greater and adaptation becomes harder for the grieving spouse.
Another thing to consider is external support.  Family is key for a grieving spouse. A spouse who has no children or grandchildren to support them in their grief will likely feel more alone and isolated.  If a person has no support, a grief counselor should take special measures to keep in close contact with their client.  In these cases, it is important to help these spouses become more self sufficient.  It is also important that the grieving find support in support groups or church groups that can help them readapt to life.  The sharing of the grief with others who have lost a spouse can help the grieving and also give them a reason to help others as well.
If proper measures are not taken, the grieving can become depressed or loss in grief.  They will slowly dwindle from sight and some may even lose the will to live.  This is especially the case with elderly spouses who have no family or person to love.  These old souls become tormented by past memories and find no purpose or life mission, but see life as a remaining count down to their eventual demise.  The reality is, these people still have a chapter to write in their lives and such depression is depriving them of their final years.
If you are interested in grief counseling certifications, please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Grief Counseling Can Help

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Can Help

The death of a child is the greatest pain a parent, can experience in their life. This excruciating loss is amplified because it is unnatural. The natural process is to watch one’s children grow into adulthood and eventually pass away leaving them secure and prepared for the world. The death of a child or adult son or daughter goes against all that is natural.  Grief counseling hopes to help those who lose a child or children. Grief counseling hopes to guide the parents through these difficult times and prevent complicated forms of grief from developing. The American Academy of Grief Counseling (AAGC) offers courses in grief counseling that can prepare counselors to help parents who lose their children or anyone experiencing grief. If you are qualified, you could become a grief counselor. Simply by taking the required courses, you could become eligible to become certified in bereavement counseling. If you are interested, you should review the grief program at AAGC and see if it correlates with your professional aspirations.
For the more information about grief counseling certificates please visit our webpage

Grief Counseling and Issues of Attachment

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief and Attachment

A lot of literature about grief is overwhelmingly death orientated. This is a good thing in that death is a universal experience but it is not an everyday thing. True, the loss of a loved one permeates one’s daily life long after the event, but the actual event is singular and for the more fortunate, not nearly as regular. The reality is most people go to counseling for relationship loss.  Grief counselors deal with many people who are devastated by divorce, a cheating spouse, a broken engagement, or the sudden change of not having that person to call, hold, or spend time with. These aspects are very common to the human experience. With proper guidance, the wounds become scars and help one grow emotionally and sometimes spiritually.

The loneliness and the un-needed anxiety people experience in finding a mate can be stressful enough for some, but when one truly believes they found the one, only to be shocked that everything was an illusion can be a horrifying change. Changes in life style from the tiniest schedule can shake the foundation of that person’s life. Even the smallest scent or image can bring a tidal wave of emotional imagery. Unfortunately there are no short cuts in this adaptation period. As so many grief specialists emphasize, one must do their “grief work”. They must experience the change the emotional pain that accompanies it. Of course, as death, there is the acceptance stage, the emotional stage of anger and mourning, and the final adaptation to the new situation.
A good grief counselor will guide the broken person through these phases and encourage emotional release in the healing process. Only after these initial steps, can the person utilize new meaning concepts to a new reality and properly place the lost relationship in its proper perspective of his or her life story.  The question arises why does this adaptation take so long for some people? It all varies based upon the level of attachment.  Attachment theory is a theory that was used in great depth with widows or widowers in their loss of a spouse. The same can be applied to broken relationships that do not involve death, but separation. The attachment will determine the length of the adaptation to the person. So, if someone was in a relationship for many years and suddenly the relationship ceased, one should expect a greater withdrawal and more intense and lengthy adaptation period. The opposite can be said for a short two month affair where there is little attachment and hence less adaptation.
As a grief counselor, it is important not to only deal with death but also every day pains of the heart. Proper understanding of attachment can help one assess the situation and lay a ground work for eventually adaptation and assimilation of the past into the person’s present. One can never give a time frame for recovery, but with a special guidance, a grief counselor can help a person understand the phases and steps and help them take the necessary steps for a happy future with someone else.  You can learn more about grief counseling, including available grief counseling courses and online study and training programs by doing an internet search for the American Academy of Grief Counseling.
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C