Written by Emily Stokes,

No two people process grief in the same way, which makes it essential for healthcare professionals to ensure that support for dealing with it is varied and flexible.

Music can be compelling in this context, and there are various ways to use songs as a means of encouraging individuals and groups to work through their complex emotions. Its effects can be subtle or seismic, but in either case, the outcome is positive progress.

It’s vital to implement songs in a grief support setting in a manner that’s structured and clinically sound. So with that in mind, here’s a look at a few different intervention options that work well, and how to make the most of them in your own groups.

Reflecting on Lyrics

Lyrics are the emotional core of many songs, and yet it’s easy to overlook their meaning when listening casually. In a support group dealing with the emotion of grief, the facilitator can encourage members to reflect on what the songwriter has to say on a much deeper level, in turn allowing them to explore their own emotional responses to the message conveyed.

The choice of song matters here, of course, so you need to pick tracks that cover themes or stories related to the kinds of experiences that group members are facing themselves. Loss is a common talking point in popular music, although not all of the songs you use need to be steered by this theme. There’s just as much to be gained from including those whose lyrics deal with resilience and perseverance, for example.

Printing out the lyrics so that members can read along as you play the song in full is a must, as it makes the meaning more transparent and the experience more engaging. Once a full playthrough is complete, ask some specific questions regarding the lyrics.

For instance:

• What line stood out most, and why?
• What aspect of the lyrics connected with your own story, and how?
• What emotion did the lyrics evoke most strongly, and what do you feel about the journey the songwriter takes you on?

The overarching idea is to provide grief support group attendees with a way to express their own emotions and responses to emotive content, while ensuring that this process is less intimidating than a more direct approach.

Collaborative Songwriting

There’s space for creativity in grief support groups, and collaborative songwriting provides an avenue for introducing music as a therapeutic method while also making it less focused on the individual.

It’s useful to begin the songwriting process by deciding on a top-level theme together; ideally, one that’s relevant to the experiences and emotions of everyone. Popular options include hopefulness, resilience, and remembrance of loved ones, but feel free to explore other suggestions from the group.

Again, facilitators must prompt the creative process with questions that spark input from group participants, as it’s likely that many people will be reticent to experiment with songwriting, given that this is a pastime few will have attempted for themselves until this point.

You might ask:

• What emotions are you feeling most frequently at the moment?
• What message do you want to get across over the course of the song?
• What other songwriters inspire you, and what features define their lyrics?

Get input from everyone and note down what they say on a whiteboard or large paper flip chart so that everyone can see the ideas building and recognize that their contributions are relevant. Simplicity and brevity of expression are recommended here, although again, if there are more complex themes and thoughts in play, it’s better to explore and unpack them than suppress them.

Keeping things simple also applies when developing the melody. If there are gifted musicians already within the group, they might take the lead here. If not, it is sensible to take existing tunes and repurpose them as the backdrop for your new lyrics. This takes the pressure off everyone.

Most importantly, don’t force anyone to go outside of their comfort zone. Some will be happy to be more actively involved in the songwriting and any subsequent performance than others. This has to be an inclusive experience.

Sharing what you’ve created is another beneficial outcome, and digital tools make this a breeze. For instance, if you record your finished song, you can then use a service like DistroKid to add it to streaming platforms, including Spotify and Apple Music. From here, the broader network of friends and family who are also within the sphere of grief will be able to hear the songs and take their own comfort from them.

Creating Playlists

Putting together a playlist is a soothing and satisfying process regardless of the aim or intention, so its application in a grief support scenario has obvious upsides.

Here, the motivation for the playlist is to create a combination of songs that reflect the life and legacy of the loved one who has been lost. Every track can spur a memory and hold special meaning for the individual who’s grieving. This is inevitably going to create moments of pain. Still, there is also the opportunity to start looking back and finding moments of positivity and light, rather than every aspect of grieving feeling like a struggle.

Facilitators must stimulate the playlist creation process with guiding questions to inspire participants, because not everyone will find it simple to come up with suitable song choices.

You might ask open-ended queries like:

• What was their favorite song, and what time in their life is it connected to?
• What music did you listen to together?
• What genre or artist do you most associate with them, and why?

As playlists are put together, this also serves as a conduit for sharing stories and having conversations about loved ones within the group. People feel more connected with one another when it’s clear that grieving is a universal experience.

In terms of the technical side of playlist creation, turning to streaming services like Spotify and YouTube is the obvious option. You can, of course, allow those without the technical skills or inclination to use digital tools to write down songs by hand, which you can then add to playlists later.

Once finished, playlists can be shared and enjoyed by group members and their families, allowing for moments outside of the group in which memories and emotions can be discussed freely. It gives structure to this without being overly conspicuous as a clinical tool, so it is especially useful in the case that participants are resistant to more traditional forms of support.

Guided Imagery with Music (GIM)

GIM is a specific therapeutic technique that integrates music with visualization. In a grief support setting, it can be deployed to enable a more personal approach to processing emotions and confronting memories about a loved one who has been lost, without the need for verbal expression.

Facilitators typically choose music which is calming, soothing, and lyric-free, while giving participants instructions on how to visualize a scene which sets out to deal with the emotions they are feeling around the death of someone close to them. Classical music is a popular choice, although ambient music from modern artists can also be appropriate.

The guidance provided by the facilitator does not need to be overly specific. Invite group participants to picture themselves somewhere safe, secure, and ideally connected with a cherished memory they have of the loved one in question. Combine this with talking points about the future and the thoughts of hope and strength that will enable them to move forward positively.

Additionally, ensure that your own input is broken up to allow for moments of quiet reflection on what’s been said, during which only the music is heard. This gives participants space to think and absorb.

The final stage of GIM can revolve around a discussion of the experience, including the opportunity for participants to speak openly about what they felt. Non-verbal options for reflection, such as journaling, are also worth offering, as not everyone will want to share what they’ve encountered with an audience.

The results of GIM vary, and some will find that it taps into memories, thoughts and emotions that were previously obscured from them. In contrast, others will simply appreciate the calmness and tranquility it encourages.

The Last Word

The introduction of song lyrics, songwriting, playlists, and GIM in grief support groups gives facilitators more options for empowering participants and assisting them as they face the toughest period of their lives.

All of the interventions discussed can be effective, but only if they are adopted in a way that’s structured and non-confrontational. Making people participate in activities that they’re not comfortable with is not wise, even if the intentions are good. Be inclusive, sensitive and communicative as you roll out songs for therapeutic purposes, or risk backlash.

Also, keep in mind that you will need some level of tech know-how to enable participants to make playlists and record songs if you decide to adopt this approach. It might add a modicum of complexity to the running of grief support groups, but the payoff more than justifies this.

Author bio:

Emily Stokes is a freelance writer with experience in the higher education and non-profit industries. She creates content for blogs and other online resources, and enjoys distilling down complex concepts through her writing.

Please also review AIHCP’s Grief Counseling Certification programs and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.  These programs are online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification