How fans can cope with the deaths of their favorite characters on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and other shows

Source: time.com

Would this be considered disenfranchised as the article states or simply mental issues?  As Grief Counselors, a loss is a loss and it needs to be addressed.  Maybe the loss affects the person due to a  memory of how a loved one similarly die?  We cannot know and must address all loss.   Some individuals can become depressed over losing a sporting game?  Is this to be mocked as well?

Yes it is true, we could easily say, “get a life” but in doing so we are diminishing the loss within the person and also maybe ignoring other deeper issues that exist within the person

If you would like to learn more about grief counseling training, then please review

#griefcounselingtraining

Grief Counseling Training:  Secondary Losses

In grief counseling training, many hear the term secondary losses.  What does this term mean?  A secondary loss is something that results or stems from the primary loss and is usually not foreseen until it is experienced by the griever.   Certified grief counselors need to be aware of their clients life and expect and even forewarn the griever of these unexpected losses that may result from the primary loss.

A very good example is a widow.  Her primary loss is her husband.  This huge void in her life will alter it in many ways.  These new alterations are in many cases examples of secondary losses.   Less income is one of the biggest things a widow may face, especially younger widows.  Another secondary loss would be the lack of help around the home.  Leaky faucets, the yard not being mowed or even the simple task of taking out the trash can become reminders of the loss and also an additional hardship to a widow.  In contrast, a widower may have to learn to cook his own meals after work or have to pay to have laundry done.  Within these classical  and traditional norms of husband and wife duties, we can see a loss and a void created by that loss.   Modern families may face less traditional issues but in any relationship, traditional or modern, usually a particular set of duties is best dealt with by one spouse or the other.  When these duties fall upon the grieving spouse, it can become a hardship.

These losses trickle down to the very core of any relationship that is lost.   As we continue with the example of a widow or widower, consider even the smallest thing.  For instance, the loss of income can also affect one’s social life.  When a group of friends wish to attend a movie, perhaps the widow or widower due to tighter budget cannot attend with friends?  Again this is an example of a secondary loss and a new way of adapting to the primary loss is a tighter budget.  Health can also be a big issue.  Loss of health care or coverage, or poor diet can all lead to future problems that are a result from the primary loss.

Another example is a single parent who has very little support except for his or her parents.  Many grandparents supply helpful hands to single parents who work.  Imagine if the grandparents or lone grandparent died?  The sting of grief is present, but what of the grandchild?  Now the single and working parent must find a good day care or baby sitter which reduces the quality of care and costs additional funds.

Like dominoes, every aspect of one’s life can be affected in different ways from the primary loss.  Secondary losses even linger long after the primary loss has been dealt with and adapted to.  The last domino to fall from the initial loss may be felt many years later.  An anniversary, a birthday, or a wedding.   If anything, secondary losses teach us the value of the person or thing lost and the price of that loss.   Yes, we need to adapt and adjust, but we can never forgot the precious person or thing we lost, and secondary losses remind us of the importance people or things play in our life.

We need to be thankful for every person in our lives and evaluate how our lives would be with out them.  Their emotional support, financial support, or favors that they so generously hand out to us.  Imagine our life without them and then you can imagine not only the pain of loss, but the secondary losses to our own life.

If you are interested in becoming trained as a Grief Counselor or would like Grief Counseling Training, then please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C

Grief Counseling Training: Barry Kluger and Kelly Farley are champions in the pursuit to help parents grieve the loss of a child.

by: CNN
By Olivia Smith, Special to CNN
Access article: click here

There is no greater tragedy than the loss of a child. Barry Kluger and Kelly Farley are helping by their initiatives in the Parental Bereavement Act, a legislation to amend the Family Medical Leave Act to include time off for grieve in the loss of a child. This article provides the story and issues regarding this new initiative. The American Academy of Grief Counseling is very supportive of Barry and Kelly and their fine work. Please take time to review this article on CNN. If you are interested in becoming a grief counselor you may access info at this link: grief counseling training.

Seven Principles of Human Grief

There are seven principles that collect the vast and diverse experience of human emotion and grief.  Grief counselors should be aware of these seven principles when counseling the bereaved.
The first principle is there is no one right way to grieve.  Remembering this will prevent counselors from forcing everyone into one paradigm that may not fit for a particular person.  For instance, some people show resilience in their grieving.  If one was to assert that these people are in denial, then proper counseling would not correlate with those who are in fact resilient.
Second, one cannot fix or cure grief.  This is fundamental.  Grief is a natural process that must work itself through due to loss.
Third, there is no universal time table.  Although most professionals give normal grief reactions six months to come to a acceptable close, one cannot assert this for every individual.  There are too many variables that can influence how long one will grieve verus another person.
Fourth, every loss is a multiple loss.  This simply means, when one loses someone, they also lose another aspect in their life.  These are called secondary losses.  A wife who loses a husband, not only loses her love, but also loses a bread winner.
Fifth, is a simple equation that all should remember: Change=Loss=Grief.  Any type of change produces a loss of something that was previously different.  In the losing of the past, grief takes place, even if the change brings some joy as well.  An example of this would be moving away from home.  The new challenges and start are exciting, but we are still losing some part of life we once cherished.
Sixth, when one grieves a new loss, we also grieve old losses.  It is only natural to compare and contrast the present with the past.  The dying of a loved one can remind us of the loss of past loved ones and how they suffered.
Finally, we can grieve when a loss has occurred or is even threatened.  This is referred to as Anticipatory Grief.
If you are interested in Grief Counseling Training, please review the program.
(The Seven Principles of Grief can be found in the text, “Helping Grieving People-When Tears Are Not Enough” by J. Shep Jeffreys)

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C