Control anger in 2015 and receive love as a reward!

by Abe Kass , M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T.

Many of us make the same ole New Year Resolutions each year. We want to lose weight, stop smoking, exercise more, eat better, become debt free; etc. Rarely do we hear resolutions that deal with the way we think and react to the stresses of everyday life.  Anger is a leading cause of stress in our everyday lives and everyday people in your life are adversely affected it. Road rage is one very good example of anger that is not managed.

Anger hurts three people. The one expressing it, the person it is directed at and anyone present! We could also add a fourth: The relationship that exist between the expresser of anger and the person the anger is directed at is also injured–and sometimes beyond recovery.

Anger can be compared to a hot coal. A person expressing anger is a person holding a hot coal and then tossing it at the person who is the target of his or her anger. Both individuals–the person angry and the person receiving the anger–are damaged; they are both burned by the coal. As well, anyone present is also likely injured by stray bits of burning coal. Anger causes pervasive destruction to anyone around you.

Is anger controlling your life? If the answer is yes, that you do have an anger problem, the first step is to admit it. The second step is to accept responsibility for having this problem and finding a solution. The third step is to actually solve the problem and then go on to live an anger-free life.

Here are just a few of many physical symptoms that you may feel when something happening in your life at the moment has triggered rage or anger inside you.

•             Pain or sense of fullness and pressure in the head or sinus cavities

•             Tingling sensations around the extremities of your body

•             A rapid heart rate and/or tightening of your chest wall muscles

•             Increase in blood pressure

•             Headaches and lack of energy

If you often feel these physical sensations, then you may have a serious anger problem and are at risk of letting anger ruin your life, injuring others, and seriously damaging your relationships. If you are single and looking for love in 2015, it is vital that you learn ways to control your anger, know your triggers, and most importantly, know how to not act on your feelings of insecurity, rage and anger.

There are many life skills needed to make a healthy relationship. Being anger-free is the most important one. Anger and love don’t mix. If you want to love and be loved–get rid of all expressions of anger. Yes, it’s that simple and straightforward. No, this is not unrealistic. This just is reality! You want love? Get rid of anger.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a registered Social Worker, registered Marriage and Family Therapist, certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and award-winning educator and writer.

He is a former part-time professor of psychology at the Beth Jacob Academy of Higher Learning in Toronto. He is a steady contributor to local newspapers, writing as an authority on personal and family life, and is frequently reprinted in other publications throughout North America. Occasionally, he gives public lectures.

And for other Anger Management Techniques, please visit our site as well.