Substance Abuse Counseling and Long Term Addiction

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
Cocaine in a small pile
Substance Abuse Counseling can help those caught get away from their crippling addictions.

Drug abuse is a big problem for many individuals, not just those who happen to have particularly addictive personalities that are susceptible to a number of different substances. Substance abuse counseling is a great way out of the trap that many drug users fall into. Without a shoulder to turn to they can potentially fall deeper and deeper into the slump that they’re in and might find it particularly difficult to recover from it in the long run. With a support structure behind them, breaking free from the horrors of drug addiction can be a huge blessing, and often one that they have been chasing for many years, looking for just the right solution to finally be able to pull everything together once and for all. The right amount of determination and commitment, you can come away a lot better off than you were in the past, which is commendable progress.

Nursing Case Management is an Exciting Field!

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
A nurse checking a clipboard
A nursing case management professional hard at work!

In the field of nursing case management is a skill set that continues to become more and more important. With the current state of health care, the ancillary issues – those that do not relate directly to treatment – have been multiplying, and sorting through them without professional assistance has become more of a challenge. Learning about and becoming certified in the field of case management allows nurses to offer that professional assistance to their patients. A nurse who is also a competent case manager can help resolve treatment conflicts, coordinate treatment provided by different specialists, sort out the serious financial ramifications of health care, and, generally speaking, minimize the bureaucratic hassles a patient experiences. The value of this skill to patients makes it a valuable skill to health care providers, too. A nurse that takes the time to cultivate case management skills will find that his or her value to employers will rise significantly.

How to Deal with Pet Loss Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
A shadow of a man and his dog.
How does pet loss grief affect you?

Let us face it there are far more pet owners out there than ever before. A lot of these pet owners do not consider themselves as owners of a pet, but rather a parent to their pet. They consider their pet a child or even just a member of their family. With these kinds of attachments it has become imperative to treat pet loss grief. The grief a pet owner experiences after having lost a pet can become very serious. It is important that every pet owner get the proper help they need should they feel trapped in the grief for their pet. For those reasons you can certify as pet-loss grief support specialist. You can make a difference in someone’s life and help them overcome the loss of their pets. Now more than ever it is important for people suffering from the loss of their pets to get some help as it will help them not only to cope but to move forward in their lives.

Christian Counseling Education: The Internal Battle of the Soul: Intellect, Will, Conscience and Grace

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The Christian Counselor as a Pastoral Guide and a Moral Theologian: Helping One Defeat Oneself

There has been much written in this blog and among other theologians and writers regarding the external nature of temptation, occasion of sin and the ploys of Satan in regards to our soul.  I would like to focus more on the internal struggle of temptation between man, the action and God.  Within our fallen nature, we have more to worry about than a diabolical being, corrupted individuals and the whiles of the flesh.  Instead, it is sometimes within our very own will that we experience our most intense battles against concupscience, selfishness and our own desires.  This is where the Christian Counselor must combine the pastoral sensitivity of his vocation with the legalistic understanding of moral theology.

The Mind is Willing but the Flesh is Weak

Christ said it best, “the mind is willing but the flesh is weak”.  This is due to our fallen nature that while made in the image and likeness of God and desiring of good, is still nevertheless inclined to false goods that are detrimental to the soul’s salvation.  The internal struggle to do what is right and to submit one’s will to God is the ultimate battle one will face.
A list of terms will be necessary in understanding the inner struggle of the soul against temptation.  First, when one speaks of man, we see two parts, body and soul.  Within the soul exists to faculties, the intellect and the will.  The intellect is the understanding part of our soul while the will is the decision part of our soul.  The intellect presents information to the will and the will then decides what to act upon or not act upon.  The will, however, is tied up with a multitude of physical sensations that go beyond the mental realm.  The will must deal with various physical appetites that may contradict the understanding of the intellect.  These various appetites are documented in St. Thomas Aquinas’ moral theology and can play havoc within the core of the soul.  If the intellect is guided with a sound and moral conscience, then the battle is more intense with the passions, but if the intellect is guided with an unsound or ignorant conscience, then in many cases the will is subjugated without a ‘shot fired’ to the demands of the passions.  No evil action is detected and the action is carried on without remorse.  Obviously in today’s age of science, other factors of mental illness must also be tied to immoral decision making but we will remain focused on mentally sound decision making agents.
While one is compelled to rectify an erroneous or unsound conscience, many fall to various illicit moral actions without a sense of remorse or fear.  However, the true battle that rages involves the certain and sound conscience that trumpets what is right and wrong despite the desires of the flesh.  While hedonists and other secular materialists would consider this a psychological pathology of a divided man, Christianity would applaud such a stance of a soundly formed conscience.  Only until the next life shall the intellect, will and physical appetites work in harmony.  Until then, the certain and sound conscience voices the demands of Christ despite the body’s other carnal or dishonest desires.
Can we overcome these desires and listen to what is right?  Unfortunately, due to the severity of damage to our nature after Adam’s fall,  one cannot by himself choose good without the grace of the Holy Spirit.  While our free will does play a role in accepting God’s grace, one cannot dare accomplish salvation or good actions without the grace of God.

How Does Grace Work?

Grace is a gift from God given to his creation.  Like a medicine to the soul, it has a variety of functions.  Some grace restores union with God (sanctifying), while other graces are applied to certain needs of the soul (sacramental).  Everyday grace (actual), however, is applied to everyday situations that divide the will between a morally right or morally wrong option.  No good choice is possible without actual grace.

This was once debated between Pelagius and St. Augustine.  Pelagius daringly denied the existence of original sin and concluded that men can make good choices without the grace of God.  Pelagius contended that man is capable of choosing God without grace.  St. Augustine countered that since Adam fell, man’s nature was damaged and needed God’s grace to choose good.
Within the inner workings of the soul, God feeds grace to the intellect and will to overcome temptation.  It there where the battle begins.  Do we accept the gentle whispers of our God to do what is right, or to fulfill a vocation, or do we choose our own will and our own desires?  Counseling can help, but one needs to make one’s own stand.
This dialogue with God can bear fruit if we allow the grace to purify our soul.  Virtue and consistent practice will replace vice, and God’s will shall shine over our own.  Spiritual fruits will grow as our will becomes open to God’s will and we will become surprised to see that submission to God’s will is actually freedom from our fallen nature.
Christian Counseling Education is a great way to learn how to counsel those who need spiritual guidance in their own internal wars against sin.  If you are interested, please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Accomplishing One’s Vocation In Faith

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Christian Counseling to Help Others ‘Walk On Water’

And when Peter arose from the belly of the boat, he saw Christ in the distance upon the sea, walking on water.  He called out to Christ and Christ beckoned him forward.  Peter arose and walked to him but the moment he took his eyes off of his master, he began to sink.  Christ then gently lifted him once again upon the water.
Christian Counseling can also help others “walk on water” if one keeps his eye on Christ.  Peter was called by Christ and despite the “impossible” demand, Peter did walk on water, and continued to, only until his faith was shaken and his eyes turned away from Christ.  Spiritual advisers need to remind their spiritual children that if Christ summons them to any task, great or small, he will give them the ability to accomplish that goal.
How many times do we fear the calling of the Lord and only see the storm and the deep sea?  Yet what we do not understand is when our Lord calls us to a particular vocation, he gives us the ability to overcome any hardships.  As long we keep our eye on the Lord, we will be able to “walk on water” and accomplish any feat.

Hence if it is a ministry call, a marriage vocation, or a particular state of life that Christ wills for us, then we must submit our will to our master and as Peter, walk upon the water to greet our Lord–and if we do, we will not drown but walk upon the water.

I also listed two other pictures from this event in Christ’s life.  They were just too simply beautiful and inspiring to leave out.
If you are interested in Christian Counseling Education Training, please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

The Song of Songs and What Religious and Romantic Love Truly Is

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Romantic and Religious Love

Ideals of romantic love and religious love are sometimes very mixed throughout Scripture.  The idea of love of Christ and his love of the church is interwoven with ideals of marriage.  These beautiful analogies show that love at its heart involves certain characteristics.  In the Song of Songs, the woman is reluctant to give up her love of a shepherd for the love of King Solomon.  The poetry in the book expressed her pure love.  Also it proposes a deeper theological significance of a soul’s love for Christ despite the promises of the world.  Below is an excellent synopsis on this book and on spiritual love.

Pastor Glen Pease writes about romantic love and religious love and its relation to the Song of Songs.  In the article “Romantic and Religious Love Based on the Song of Songs”, he gives a concise analysis of the book and the ideas on romantic and religious love.

“Love makes the world go round, says the one time popular song, and there are very few who will deny it. History reveals that one of life’s greatest tragedies is to die unloved.”

For the full article, please click here.

The ideals of romantic and religious love are tied to the very fabric of human interaction and expression.  All need for counseling comes from loss of love and without an understanding of love and loss, no-one can truly ever counsel.  In this respect, Christian Counselors should become well versed in this book of the Bible.
If you are interested in Christian Counseling, please review the program and click here.
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Child Grief Support – Should My Child Attend the Funeral?

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Yes! Your Child Should Attend the Funeral

One of the most disenfranchised griefs is that of a child.  Adults do not treat children’s’ grief as a serious and legitimate concern and in many cases discount their needs.  One such discounting is preventing the child from saying a final “goodbye”.  Well intentioned adults frequently leave children at home during a funeral.  This is even the case when the person who died was a primary caregiver to the child.  It is important for a child to attend the funeral of a loved one for the child grief support, but a few things need to be considered.
First, the child needs to be told what a funeral is about and what he or she will see.  A child should not be taken off guard or surprised to see the body in the coffin.  Instead a child should be prepared and helped to understand what a funeral is and what the rituals are for.  In-depth answers are not always sufficient but the answers should be in concrete and clear language as to avoid confusion within the mind of the child.  A child should be told that at the funeral, he or she has a chance to say “goodbye” and that crying and mourning there is alright.  One can also explain the religious significance of the rituals during this time.
Second, if possible, try to include the child in the funeral rituals.  If the child would like to read a poem or say a short “goodbye”, it should be made possible.  If the child is shy, maybe simply lighting a candle for the deceased can supply an outlet for his or her grief.
Finally, when the child attends the funeral be prepared for a variety of emotions.  Whatever emotion, an adult should accept the child’s way of mourning.  One thing to remember is that children mourn in doses.  With this in mind, do not be surprised to see the child behave quite normal and play with various cousins.  If the child’s behavior becomes disturbing or inappropriate, one should tell the child that there are certain ways one must behave.  This does not prevent mourning but deals with proper behavior.  The child should be told that other people are sad and such behavior is disrupting to others.
If your child is better behaved, be sure to include taking him or her to funerals of other distant relatives.  This can teach the child what a funeral is about and how to behave and act.  It can also teach the child about death and better prepare the child for the death of a close loved one.
Ultimately, not taking a child to a loved one’s funeral is the worst thing an adult can do.  Do not make this mistake because it can greatly  harm the grieving process of the child.
(Information for this article was found in “Companioning the Grieving Child” by Alan Wolfelt, PhD)
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Helping Infants and Toddlers Heal From Grief – Child Grief Education

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Child Grief Education: How Do I Help a Grieving Baby?

Even though a baby may not be as mentally developed as a child or adult, a baby can still grieve.  In past articles, we discussed attachment disorders that can result from poor parenting and bond forming.  Since a baby can form bonds and love, a baby can also grieve.  It saddens many to think of a grieving baby, but when a baby loses his mother or father or any primary caregiver, the baby will grieve.

In regards to infants, grief counselors should encourage primary caregivers to assure the child that basic care and needs will be met.  This requires constant attention and alot of love.  In addition to keeping to schedule and offering the basic care, simply holding the infant, loving the infant and keeping the infant close will help the baby grieve in a healthy fashion.  It will help the infant overcome the loneliness and confusion of losing a parent.
Toddlers are a little more difficult to care for than infants because the bond with the loss parent was longer and stronger.  Still the first priority is the same as with infants.  Toddlers will need constant love and attention and the same provision of care they received before the death of the parent.  Three extra things with a grieving toddler, however, should be considered.  First, the toddler may regress.  Regression in regards to toilet training, lack of sleeping and less independence are all ways a toddler lets adults know they are sad.  They demand attention to help with the grief that consumes their little heart.  Secondly, toddlers need to be spoken to in concrete language.  If they ask where “is mommy” or “Uncle Jack”, one should respond in concrete description.  Toddlers do not understand euphemisms and need to be told if someone died in clear language.  Telling a toddler that daddy went “bye bye” will confuse him.  He needs to be told that daddy’s body stopped working and he will not be coming back.  Of course, compassion and a lot of hugs may be needed but this is best for toddler grief support.  Finally, try to keep the toddler as close to his regular schedule as possible.  Change can be very destructive to the toddler.  The toddler needs to know life will go on and that his needs will still be met.
If you are interested in child grief education, please review the program.
(Information for this article was found in”Companioning the Grieving Child” by Alan Wolfelt, PhD)
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Adolescent Grief Counseling: Helping Teens Through Death and Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Teenagers Need Special Consideration During Grief

Teenagers are hard to understand due to a multitude of life changes.  First and foremost, their bodies are changing. Hormones are flowing through their blood, altering and changing them into young adults.  While these changes may occur physically, in many cases, there still exists a child that is confused.  Secondly, teenagers are dealing with an array of pressures at school and among peers.  As the teenager attempts to discover his or her self identity, he or she is confronted with new ideals that may contradict ideals at home.  The lack of self confidence, changing physical features and the inner child may need to seek conformity with the latest social fads.  If this recipe for confusion is not enough, then merely add grief, stir and let it rise.
Adolescents need particular care during the mourning of a loved one.  First, one needs to help them acknowledge the death.  In acknowledging the death, do not be surprised to discover that what may not seem important to you is very critical to the adolescent.  The death of a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a school mate may be more influencing than a parent may think.  Also, do not be surprised to find a myriad of emotional responses if one prods long enough.  For example, if one’s loved one is killed violently, do not be surprised for a teen to have severe rage fantasies of enacting vengeance upon the culprit.  It is important during these times to allow the teen to express but differentiate between healthy expression and taking action.  Finally, when acknowledging the death, do not be surprised to discover that the teen is still not immune from magical thinking.  A teen could very easily feel severe guilt over a fight with a  parent who later died that day.  The key to remember is that teens, while appearing more adult like, are emotionally still childlike.
Second, one needs to help the teen move towards the pain of the particular loss.  Just because teens appear resistant to mourning does not mean they are not in intense pain over a loss.  Adolescents need to know that it is fine to express one’s feelings over loss.
Third, help teens remember the person who died.  Teens will sometimes use journals or create memorials for the loss of loved ones.  This is  common when a schoolmate dies due to a car crash or other misfortune death.  The teenagers come together in vigil and later offer commemorations for their fallen peer.
Fourth, teens need help in establishing a new identity after the loss.  With the loss of a father, how will the teen now perceive himself?  In this regard, it is important to help the teen grieve and develop a post loss perception of himself.  In developing this new perception, the teen bundles together the loss with his future and creates a new identity that involves being without his father.  It is important to note that new identities should not include becoming the “man of the house” for the grieving mother.  Yes certain adaptations and duties will be needed, but the teen needs to remain a teen and not replacement of a loss husband in regards to emotional and financial support.

Fifth, help the teen search for deeper meanings of life.  Prior to the incident, teens are shielded by a false immortality.  After experiencing death, they are shocked into reality and find new meanings about life.
Finally, continue to help the teen.  Teens, like younger children, grieve in doses.  There is no doubt that when prom or graduation arrives that the teen will grieve the loss of a particular parent.  It is important for grief counselors to be supportive during these times.  Again the great premise, “grief is not an event but a process” must be accepted by all counselors if they truly wish to help their clients.

Danger Signs of a Grieving Teen

While one can expect certain levels of rebellion, moodiness, impulsiveness, reliance or egocentrism, there are some signs that parents and grief counselors need to be aware of.  Red flag type behaviors include suicidal thoughts, chronic depression, isolation from family and friends, academic failures, changes in personality, eating disorders, drugs, fighting and inappropriate sexual behaviors.  If these symptoms or behaviors manifest, the teen may be experiencing complicated grief reactions.
Ultimately, teens are going through a transitional period and grief only complicates things but if one is willing to take the time and care, then many complications can be avoided and the teen can heal.
If you are interested in adolescent grief counseling, please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Child Grief Counsleling Certification Program: Using Play Therapy in Child Grief Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Finding Grief Through Play

The mind of a child differs greatly than an adult.  This is due to an array of psychological and biological differences than stem from a lack of development in the brain.  It is important for grief counselors who specialize in grief and adolescent grief care to understand these differences because they directly effect how children grieve.
In the case of younger children, grief can be found in many things, most notably play.  The child’s need to play is not only for fun but is a way a child communicates and expresses herself.  Through this expression, a counselor or psychologist can find many clues about the child’s home life, school, beliefs, and emotional state.   A child who cannot play is denied her right to mourn.
Dr. Wolfelt in his book, “Companioning the Grieving Child” lists ten important elements of play in a child’s emotional life.  These are basic tenets of play therapy.
1. Play is the way children express and communicate
2. Play permits children to express painful and difficult emotions
3. Play is most often a child’s way to express the loss of a loved one
4. Play is essential for the bereavement counselor in establishing a therapeutic relationship with the child
5. Play helps the counselor understand the inner world of the child
6. Play increases and helps the child in his interest in working with the counselor
7. Play allows the child to utilize her imagination
8. Play is the vehicle in which the child can teach the counselor about her grief
9. Play helps energize and refresh the child
10. Play is a loving and compassionate way, one can help a grieving child
In addition to these basic concepts, Dr. Wolfelt recommends a variety of play techniques during counseling. Among the many, he encourages use of stuffed animals, puppets, dollhouses, art, free painting, drawing, clay, music, story-telling and books.  Through these therapies, the child is able to communicate things she is not able to vocally or maturely do yet.
The dollhouse can serve as an example.  The grief counselor can delve into the inner dynamics of the household simply by watching the child play with dolls in a home setting.  Is daddy always there?  Does mommy and daddy love each other?  Whose sad?  All of these answers can come to light simply through play.
Also from personal experience, grieving children can open up simply through drawing.  Dr. Roerick out of Youngstown, Ohio encourages drawing and coloring to bring out emotions of children.  Dr. Roerick is able to identify key emotions that correlate with color and other symbols.
The importance of play is critical to children.  Even if children are not grieving, as a parent, aunt, uncle or older sibling, can you answer affirmatively that you have played with a young child recently?  Give this gift to a child and let them teach you who they are through the process.
If you are interested in learning more about child grief counseling certification program, please review the program.
Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C.