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Christian Family and the Special Role of the Woman

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Role of Women in the Christian Family

Society has imprinted many roles of women in marriage.  Even evolutionary theory has   speculated about the natural need a woman has for protection and in turn the care she

supplies and returns to the man.  Christian marriage and the structure of the Christian family does not reflect social and biological roles but concerns itself more with the roles a woman plays from a spiritual aspect.  Secular roles and obligations differ with traditions and time, but Christian ideals are constant since they reflect the values of Christ.
Christian counseling needs to emphasize the proper roles of women in marriage that transcend social norms or prejudices.  First and foremost, man and woman are made one in marriage.  Since they are not two but one flesh, they inherently share in common authority.  While modernists and enemies of the faith hope to condemn scripture as patriarchal in nature, one cannot dismiss the reality that scripture teaches mutual respect between man and wife.  Merely the fact that one shares one flesh is enough to propose an equality of woman and man in marriage.  Without this understanding, the role of a woman in Christian marriage is forever destroyed.  The role of a woman in Christian marriage cannot be seen as inferior or unequal to that of the husband.  This is not Christian theology and is not the nature of the sacrament.
The second role or characteristic of women in marriage stems from Paul’s writings.  A definite order in Paul is being laid down in which the woman is to obey her husband.  While initially this seems very patriarchal and contrary to our first premise, one needs to fully understand the nature of this role of obedience.  If one reads further, Paul also tells husbands to love their wives as Christ so loved the church.  In this regard, the love of a husband correlates with the love of Christ.  Christ’s love of the church ended in death and self sacrifice.  Christ did command, Christ did teach and Christ did lead, but his commands were never contrary to one’s dignity, health, or salvation.  In fact, Christ’s orders are that of a loving father and do not transgress one’s free will or choice.  With this in mind, when Paul speaks of wives obeying their husbands, it is apparent that he is implying obedience for the sake of structure and in major issues that involve the sake of the family.  Does this imply the wife has no voice?  Does Christ not listen and love?  He takes into consideration our wants and desires.  Hence, this obedience is a healthy obedience that cannot be misquoted by some radicals to include subjugation of women.  Any form of subjugation would distort the true nature between obedience and love between husband and wife.
The third role is motherhood.  Only a woman can be a mother and with that comes innate qualities that no man can ever replicate.  We have heard of phrases that include a mother’s touch, or a mother’s whisper.  These elements are true.  Social constraints create images of the man as bread winner and the woman as homemaker and one cannot deny that there is some spiritual connection to these roles as well.  While these roles can be adjusted to financial and economic times, the fact remains that women have a spiritual nature that encompasses compassion, care and emotional security.  In this regards the mother becomes the heart of the home and the voice of reason.  Her love binds the family together and her sweet whispers calm all turbulence.  Her fidelity and care to the family make her the cornerstone for the families well being.  She is the sanctuary.
The final characteristic of women in marriage is Marian.  The woman as heart of the family takes upon a Marian role.  As Mary served as the binding force in the Holy Family and raised the infant Jesus, so wives today must also emulate Mary.  They must serve as the heart of the family and serve as role model in Christian purity and grace for her husband and children.  When others falter, she must be the center of prayer and guide the family through spiritual storms.  While this role can be said for both man and woman, it is only a woman that encompasses a serene emotional faith that can mold a family together.
When Christian counseling, a counselor should avoid stereotypes that are biased and place women in a subjugated state but they should also avoid secular values that pose as liberating.  So many secularists swing from one extreme to another.  Like a pendulum, they swing from subjugation to radical freedoms that betray womanhood and her important role in the family.  As Christian counselors, one must be a champion of woman equality but also emphasize her traditional role in the family without fear of secular outcry.
If you would like to take courses in Christian Counseling, then please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C, SCC-C

Near Death Experiences and Christian Counseling

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
While far from a scientist but always a philosopher and theologian first, I would like to attempt to open dialogue and raise questions regarding the purpose of the brain and its relation to the body and the soul. I would also like to discuss issues of Near Death Experience as legitimate functions of the soul or merely physical reactions within the brain.  While this is not completely a discussion found in Christian Counseling Courses, it still nevertheless  an interesting theological subject relevant to Christian theology.
Secularists have attacked the nature of the soul, memory, and feelings as natural chemical reactions that can be interpreted as “abstract” but in reality exist within the material. Within the complex nature of the brain, emotions and memories arise but are merely an evolutionary adaptation from matter and nothing beyond the material. They further contend that the brain creates illusions of Near Death Experiences (NDEs) where the person actually believes his or her “soul” has left the confines of the body. The idea of depersonalization concerns the loss of emotion and the detached feelings people have upon the approach of death. This is why some explain why the person feels they are away from his or her body. The other element is hyperaltertness that deals with sharper hearing or vision and either dull or more vivid thoughts at the approach of death. Both these states help the person face dangerous situations. In times of crisis, if action is available, the natural defense mechanism is to act, however, according to secularists if no physical action is available the brain merely utilizes neural and spiritual imaging resources. In conclusion, the argument rests that the brain is merely a physical organ that via chemical processes can create altered states of consciousness and mimic spiritual existence beyond death.
Atheistic motivated psychology attempts to remove memory and abstract concepts as separate realities from the material world. It wants to divorce the idea that abstract ideals are beyond the physical and enforce a concept that through evolution, abstract concepts have sprung from the matter and clay of the brain. This is a huge jump without any empirical evidence. The reality is Socrates, Plato and Aristotle all view the ideas of the abstract as superior and separate to the material world. Concepts cannot be sensed via touch, sight, scent, taste or audio, but are ideas that transcend the temporal sphere. Concepts of justice cannot be dissected on an operating table, but only understood via manifestation. They do not exist within nature physically. Furthermore concepts of love, ideas, or shapes all exist outside the actual object. For instance, the idea of “squareness” exists within itself without material representation. Again, the concept that one plus one equals two exists without representation. Plato referred to these ideas as the universals. The universals exist as abstract concepts that cannot be understood via the senses but only via the intellect. He concluded independent spiritual abstract ideals that are beyond the touch of one’s senses can only be comprehended by the same spiritual “stuff” of the soul. Aristotle tied these two elements together when he took basic “matter” and” form” concepts and found the forms or universals within matter and individualized; the physical world reflected the spiritual forms. Hence emotion, spiritual sight, or any other abstract notion that escapes the lens of science is real and is manifested via the material world. These ideas do not originate from matter but are expressed via matter. This is a very different concept than what atheistic psychology proposes in its attempt to put science and theology at odds.
 On the contrary, science is not at odds with theology for both claim the same source which is God. Biologically these chemicals are trace elements for the existence of emotion. They are not the origins of the emotion but the physical correlation of it. The idea that the body affects the mind and the mind affects the body is an undeniable principle that stems from the dualistic nature of man. Man is both body and spirit and in that combination and complicated fusion there lies interaction. Could one not deny the abstract concept of worry and its effect via ulcer? Or can one not deny the physical pain that can also cause emotional pain? An example would be the physical pain of surgery and also the psychological pain of the loss that correlates with that surgery? While hyperalertness and detachment may very well be biological evolutionary devices for the body to prepare for death or accept death, one cannot claim that they are solely biological. And if so, who is to claim that in some cases the mental state produced is biological and in other cases spiritual? Not everyone who experiences the close breath of the reaper claim NDE. With such conclusions, the Christian or theist will not dismiss these chemical reactions within the brain or possible natural explanations for NDE visions, but instead will accept them and incorporate them relevantly to theology. In the end, scientific investigation and theology cannot be at odds, but in this case how do both find credence with each other?

The Brain is a Metaphysical Organ

The answer to this question is simple because the brain is the gateway to the soul. The brain is a metaphysical organ in many ways. It is capable of channeling the spiritual essence of man into physical or material coherence. In many ways it is an adapter that translates and shares the ideas of the soul into praxis with the body. This organ is metaphysical because it exists in both planes. No other organ can boast of such an ability. No other organ carries its responsibilities beyond the physical. While cliché phrases unite love with the heart, one cannot deny that the heart plays no spiritual or emotional role. The reality is the brain or the mind meets the soul half way and articulates its desires to the world. It is in this complex fusion of mind and body where the intellect and will of the soul shout to the world, “I am here”.

In this regard, the psychology of the mind is better understood within a prism of faith. Instead of proclaiming that certain chemical reactions in the brain create emotion, faith dictates that these abstract emotions are manifested via the brain through these chemical reactions. In pure sacramental form, the body manifests the soul, so why would it be any different at a more micro level? For science to proclaim that chemicals cause the emotion instead of vice versa is merely atheistic philosophy infused into science.

Rebutal of Atheistic Claims

With this deeper understanding of the brain as a metaphysical organ we can answer a few challenges posed by secularists. First, as noted, we can dismiss the notion that chemical reactions in the brain are the cause for human emotion. Second, we can challenge ideas of brain death. Secularists contend that if a piece of the brain is removed or a part of it is damaged then the emotion and memories associated with that part is forever loss. With the image of the brain as a metaphysical organ and gatekeeper of the soul one can easily contend with equal reason and intelligence that the memory is merely inaccessible to the physical element of man. The reality is that it still exists within the intellect of the soul, awaiting 
healing or the final resurrection of the broken body with the soul. Finally, in regards to NDE, one can accept that not every vision is spiritual, but if the brain is seen as a metaphysical organ with such capabilities, then one cannot dismiss NDE on all counts within reasonable grounds. Who is to say what vision is a true manifestation of near death and a mere evolutionary coping device. One cannot empirically prove this. Unlike science, theology can speculate via hope and faith, science must empirically show evidence. There is no physical evidence to disprove that these numerous and diverse experiences stem from a spiritual reality.
With these ideals in place the Christian or theist can with good reason accept scientific findings regarding the functions of the brain without fear that science is posing a threat to their faith. The reality is both the spiritual and the physical are in harmony with one another. This is the case especially with the brain which acts as a perfect gateway that reflects the harmony of the soul and body. In many ways, one could speculate that this proposes a Trinitarian design that reflects the image of God and his inner-workings of Father, Son and Holy Spirit via body, soul and mind; three units working as one.
During Christian Counseling sessions, a counselor should not dismiss the experiences that the brain and the soul experience during near death but instead be open to these ideas because they are part of the Christian faith and the reality of the soul and a metaphysical plane of existence.
If you would like to take courses in Christian counseling, then please review.
By Mark Moran , MA