Grief counseling is in high demand today. The loss of someone close to you is a painful experience and can create many emotions such as anger, shock, sadness and guilt. Within this period, you may feel as if these emotions may never let up and come to an end. Loss is a tough thing to handle but it is something that most of us will have to face several times within our lives. These feeling are often categorized as grief and you may find it challenging to move past this phase alone. For such instances, it is recommended that you seek grief counseling.

 What is grief counseling?

Grief counseling is a type of theory that focuses on a person or people suffering from the feelings of grief and helps them get through their feelings. Often, grief counseling takes place with a group of people as opposed to individually as working through this process with loved ones will often help this process. The most common reasons that require grief counseling come after a death of a loved one; however it is not uncommon for people to seek this form of therapy after a divorce, the loss of a job, or the diagnosis of a serious disease, such as cancer and more. In any of these situations, grief counseling works to help that person or people cope with their emotions.

 Grief counseling in groups

As mentioned, grief counseling often takes place in a group setting. This is because the involvement of your peers, who can better understand what a person is going through, will minimize the feelings of isolation that is prevalent among grief stricken people. An added benefit is also that your friends and family will be able to stay with you outside of the sessions, something that a counselor is not able to do.

 What are the goals of grief counseling?

The main intent of this therapy varies depending upon the person and situation. The end goal is to best help that person recover emotionally from the particular situation. This form of counseling does not attempt to change what that person feels they want or need, however they do attempt to console and support that person as they are dealing with their intense emotions. More often than not, the simple act of talking about the situation will go a long way in helping a grief stricken person recover. For this reason, a therapist’s main intent is to accompany that person and encourage them to talk about what is going through their head. Getting that person to talk about it and having someone listen and converse with them about is the main role of a grief therapist.

 I am suffering from grief, how will counseling help me?

When a person looses someone close to them, or they go through an emotionally intense situation, they will often receive a lot of attention from their friends and family. After a few weeks, however, those people will be ready to move on with their lives even though that person may not yet be ready to. This is where grief counselors play an important role. Today, most of the theory behind grief counseling is based on the work of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, a famous Swiss psychiatrist who was able to identify the different stages of grief that a person will go though. Her findings showed that grief is not a straight line process and is not easily understood by the people who are not also going through the same feelings. This makes it difficult for a grieving person to find the full support they will need from friends and family members alone. Grief therapists are trained to work with and identify the stages of grief that a person may be going through and is better able to walk them through the entire process over the course of several weeks or months.
If you are suffering through feelings or grief, or know someone that is, it is important to seek some form of grief counseling as it is the best way to get through your emotions in the most healthy way possible. It is important to surround ones self around loved ones and continuous communication between the two parties will go a long way in helping that person recover from such emotions. You may also consider learning more about grief and strategies to deal with it. There are online grief counseling courses you can take to expand your knowledge in this area of specialty care.

The Emotion of Sadness and Grief Counseling

While the emotion of sadness can dominate grief, one finds very little talk of happiness in grief.  Such a contradiction defeats the purpose of loss.  Grief Counseling must also find that spurts of happiness are natural in grief.
Within Christian theology, out of grief can come victory.  Through Christ’s death came resurrection and liberation.  Also through one’s daily crosses comes heavenly reward.  From this perspective there exists a happiness amidst the grief.  While the happiness is not intimately tied with the emotion, it can co-exist and become ultimately a by-product.
From a psychological standpoint, happiness and normalcy is an important element during the grieving process.  Traditional paradigms of grief recovery list step by step processes that must follow a linear progression.  The reality is that while traditional models do tell us a lot about grief, they still cannot be used as universal paradigms.  People can skip various steps.  Also to note, many new ideas have completely dismissed step process and instead emphasize phases of grief as waves or oscillating peaks and valleys.  The peaks represent states of happiness or normalcy.  The subconscious mind while it needs grieving to heal cannot constantly grieve or one would mentally breakdown.  With this in mind, one must acknowledge that there are states during the grief recovery where the person does manifest moments of happiness and laughter.  This allows the person to continue life but still remember.  Certain days when work or school are not at the forefront, one can take time to reflect and grieve. This idea of happiness or moments of happiness during the grief cycle also point to issues that possibly dismiss preconceived notions of hidden or regressed grief that were not legitimate pathologies.
The reality is people are more resilient that many think.  While complicated grief does occur, majority of people overcome their grief in a healthy fashion.  Normal reactions during the grief cycle do indeed include an isolated “oasis” of humor, joy, happiness and normalcy within the dark and sad “desert” of grief recovery.
By Mark Moran, MA