grief counseling

Grief Counseling and Happiness

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The Emotion of Sadness and Grief Counseling

While the emotion of sadness can dominate grief, one finds very little talk of happiness in grief.  Such a contradiction defeats the purpose of loss.  Grief Counseling must also find that spurts of happiness are natural in grief.
Within Christian theology, out of grief can come victory.  Through Christ’s death came resurrection and liberation.  Also through one’s daily crosses comes heavenly reward.  From this perspective there exists a happiness amidst the grief.  While the happiness is not intimately tied with the emotion, it can co-exist and become ultimately a by-product.
From a psychological standpoint, happiness and normalcy is an important element during the grieving process.  Traditional paradigms of grief recovery list step by step processes that must follow a linear progression.  The reality is that while traditional models do tell us a lot about grief, they still cannot be used as universal paradigms.  People can skip various steps.  Also to note, many new ideas have completely dismissed step process and instead emphasize phases of grief as waves or oscillating peaks and valleys.  The peaks represent states of happiness or normalcy.  The subconscious mind while it needs grieving to heal cannot constantly grieve or one would mentally breakdown.  With this in mind, one must acknowledge that there are states during the grief recovery where the person does manifest moments of happiness and laughter.  This allows the person to continue life but still remember.  Certain days when work or school are not at the forefront, one can take time to reflect and grieve. This idea of happiness or moments of happiness during the grief cycle also point to issues that possibly dismiss preconceived notions of hidden or regressed grief that were not legitimate pathologies.
The reality is people are more resilient that many think.  While complicated grief does occur, majority of people overcome their grief in a healthy fashion.  Normal reactions during the grief cycle do indeed include an isolated “oasis” of humor, joy, happiness and normalcy within the dark and sad “desert” of grief recovery.
By Mark Moran, MA

Dealing with the loss of your pet

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Having a pet is amazing.  There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that even after a hard day’s work, you have a buddy to come home to.  You know that when you get home, someone is waiting for you to take away your stress and worries.  And in many cases, pets often take on a more humanized role.  They become more than just a pet, but a valued family member.  It is not surprising that when we lose our pet, it can still feel like the world has ended.
Of course, going through the grieving processes is a must in order for us to move on.  But with different backgrounds and personalities, people may react differently to a pet loss and grief.  Some people react indifferently.  Some people may become violent.  And some may become extremely emotional.  But what are the best ways to deal with this kind of loss?

Burial Ceremony

Whenever we lose a beloved member of our family, we go through a burial ceremony.  We give those who knew the person a chance to tell stories about how our loved one touched that person’s life in ways that others may not have know.  We allow people to tell stories about our loved one in order to remember him or her in a good light.  We reminisce about the time when they were still with us before burying them with honor.  This same thing can be done for our beloved pets who have passed on.  A burial ceremony will allow you to give your pet a final goodbye as it passes on to the afterlife.  Pets have been known to be buried near their owners, in family plots or mausoleum, even in their gardens.  Pet cemeteries are not unheard of either.  Some places offer a peaceful resting place for your pet.  But burying your pet will help you find some peace of mind for your pet.

Taxidermy or Portrait

This is another way pet owners can commemorate their beloved furry friends.  While it might take some time and cost a little bit of money, you will be able to keep your pet near you the way you want to remember it.  You may also choose to have your pet painted or photographed.  This will allow you to put up his or her picture in your house so that you can still see it everyday.

 Grief counseling

Reaching out and talking to other people who have gone through what you are going through is probably your best bet at moving on with feeling any guilt.  You will be able to deal with the issues at hand and figure out ways to assist in your ability to heal over the loss.  While it may seem like it is a stupid idea at first, you won’t regret it.  You will be able to properly say goodbye to your beloved pet and let go of any hurt, sadness and anger you might be dealing with because of the loss.  Pet Loss grief counseling will help you cope with your loss.
What can you expect to talk about during grief counseling?
Because anyone, anytime, anywhere is able to lose a pet, there are many different topics grief counseling can go over.  If you have a child in your family that needs help dealing with your loss, grief counselors are there to give you a helping hand on how to help them grieve.  The same goes for an elderly family member who may have been attached to your pet.
Most counselors are also trained in making sure that they are not telling you what you feel.  It is also up to you to express to them what you are going through.  After all, the most important thing to do when it comes to counseling is to confront the issue at hand and look forward to getting past it.

Where can you find a grief counselor to help you with your pet loss?

Speaking to your family, friends and pastor is a good start.  But if that just does not feel like it is enough, searching through the phone book or online for a grief counsel is very easy.  There are several specialists, professionals and groups who are trained to assist you.  In fact, there are a lot of people who have gone through the loss of a beloved pet and have made it a goal to help others out when they get into the same situation.  Just a little research and you’ll be able to seek the right help you need to deal with the loss of your pet. To learn more about becoming a pet loss grief specialist, click here.