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Grief Counseling Certification Program:Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Certification Program: The Many Faces of Grief: Common Emotions that are Experienced

 

Grief is a universal emotion and experience. Everyone will go through grief in their life time. Many will repeat the experience throughout their lives. For a long time grief was shunned by society. People really did not understand it and so it was often a very private experience. Often times the person in grief believed that what they were going through emotionally was abnormal and so they were often reluctant to discuss their experiences. Little had been written about grief and thus people also did not know what to say or do to assist a family member or friend who was in the midst of the grieving process.

 

Today things have certainly changed. Grief has been studied extensively over the past several decades and we now know much more about it. Clinical research has been better able to more clearly define this phenomenon and we continue to learn more about it all the time. We have come to understand what intense emotions are confronted in grief and we also have come to develop solid interventions and strategies to help people with their grief experiences.

 

While grief is a subjective experience and unique in many ways, we have learned over the years that there are several stages of grief which are actually universal in nature.

 

These universal grief experiences include the following:

 

Shock and Denial
This phase often manifests itself in a sort of numbness, a feeling of disbelief and a sense of helplessness. This may occur immediately at the awareness of the loss of loved one or the loss of any kind. People may experience feelings of things being unreal, or feel like they are in some dream state. Denial is a strong experience and often people will respond to a loss as if it did not occur. Observers of this may think the person does not care or does not understand what has happened. The observation of denial can be perceived in many ways. In some cases the denial can be very intense and dramatic. When this occurs, professional help may be needed.
2. Pain and Guilt
As the shock and/or denial abate, it is often replaced with feelings of longing for the one we have lost.  It is standard at this stage to experience guilt and remorse about things we may have done or not done, said or not said, to that person. Overwhelming emotional pain is difficult to deal with, and should not be stifled. In this phase we most often see people express themselves much more and we also will likely witness crying and the expression of many types of regrets.
3. Anger
A common question those in grief ask is ‘Why?’ Why Him/Her? Why us? Why me? Finding the answer to this question causes frustration and anger. It is common at this stage to try to find something or someone to blame, or take your frustration out on. In this phase we may often see the person experiencing trembling, and there may even be physiologic manifestations such as increases in blood pressure and pulse rates. Anger may even be expressed toward God for the loss. It is beneficial to encourage those in grief to verbalize their anger but to do so in more constructive ways.

4. Melancholy
You may experience a period of introversion. This stage of the process may leave you feeling low, and you may find you spend a lot of time reflecting on the experiences you had with your loved one. Those close to you will often try to encourage you not to wallow in your grief. However, this is an important part of the process. It allows you to work through your feelings about the one you have lost, as well as reflect on your time together. It is common to feel depressed and this should be acknowledged. If the depression persists for long periods of time or one begins to contemplate self-harm or suicide, professional intervention should be undertaken

5. Hope for the Future.
The sense of hopelessness and despair you felt will start to lessen. You can now begin adjusting to life without the person you have lost. Often, people in this stage of the process start to think about how they might best commemorate and celebrate the life of the person they have lost.  Deciding on an online memorial can be a great way to honour your loved ones. It allows you to have a permanent reminder of them which everyone can have access to, be involved in creating and even add to.

6. Readjustment and Acceptance.
You will eventually begin to feel that you can settle in to new routines, and maybe even start making plans for your future. Life will seem less overwhelming. You can think about and talk about the deceased with more sense of a peace, rather than experiencing anguish. You have moved away from the intense pain of grief at this phase.

 

Time for Grieving

 

How long does this general process of grieving last? There is no good response to this question.  Grief takes “as long as it takes.” While the above stages are generally universal, the time in grief is not universal. It is uniquely individualized. Some go through the experience and reach acceptance much sooner for others; it can sometimes take several years or more.

 

When the experience of grief persist for more than several years or when the symptoms continue to cripple the grieving person in living their lives then professional help is needed.  A professional who has a certification in grief counseling can be of tremendous help. This professional is schooled in therapeutic interventions for grieving and can really assist in helping the person better cope and progress in the grief experience.

 

As time goes on we will learn more about grief and how people experience it. This will lead us to the development of even more and often better interventions. The time is now for society to become better educated about grief and to learn some common and simple ways to help others through this experience.

 

If you would like to learn more about our Grief Counseling Certification Program, then please review

The American Academy of Grief Counseling

 

Grief Counseling Training: Secondary Losses

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

Grief Counseling Training:  Secondary Losses

In grief counseling training, many hear the term secondary losses.  What does this term mean?  A secondary loss is something that results or stems from the primary loss and is usually not foreseen until it is experienced by the griever.   Certified grief counselors need to be aware of their clients life and expect and even forewarn the griever of these unexpected losses that may result from the primary loss.

A very good example is a widow.  Her primary loss is her husband.  This huge void in her life will alter it in many ways.  These new alterations are in many cases examples of secondary losses.   Less income is one of the biggest things a widow may face, especially younger widows.  Another secondary loss would be the lack of help around the home.  Leaky faucets, the yard not being mowed or even the simple task of taking out the trash can become reminders of the loss and also an additional hardship to a widow.  In contrast, a widower may have to learn to cook his own meals after work or have to pay to have laundry done.  Within these classical  and traditional norms of husband and wife duties, we can see a loss and a void created by that loss.   Modern families may face less traditional issues but in any relationship, traditional or modern, usually a particular set of duties is best dealt with by one spouse or the other.  When these duties fall upon the grieving spouse, it can become a hardship.

These losses trickle down to the very core of any relationship that is lost.   As we continue with the example of a widow or widower, consider even the smallest thing.  For instance, the loss of income can also affect one’s social life.  When a group of friends wish to attend a movie, perhaps the widow or widower due to tighter budget cannot attend with friends?  Again this is an example of a secondary loss and a new way of adapting to the primary loss is a tighter budget.  Health can also be a big issue.  Loss of health care or coverage, or poor diet can all lead to future problems that are a result from the primary loss.

Another example is a single parent who has very little support except for his or her parents.  Many grandparents supply helpful hands to single parents who work.  Imagine if the grandparents or lone grandparent died?  The sting of grief is present, but what of the grandchild?  Now the single and working parent must find a good day care or baby sitter which reduces the quality of care and costs additional funds.

Like dominoes, every aspect of one’s life can be affected in different ways from the primary loss.  Secondary losses even linger long after the primary loss has been dealt with and adapted to.  The last domino to fall from the initial loss may be felt many years later.  An anniversary, a birthday, or a wedding.   If anything, secondary losses teach us the value of the person or thing lost and the price of that loss.   Yes, we need to adapt and adjust, but we can never forgot the precious person or thing we lost, and secondary losses remind us of the importance people or things play in our life.

We need to be thankful for every person in our lives and evaluate how our lives would be with out them.  Their emotional support, financial support, or favors that they so generously hand out to us.  Imagine our life without them and then you can imagine not only the pain of loss, but the secondary losses to our own life.

If you are interested in becoming trained as a Grief Counselor or would like Grief Counseling Training, then please review the program.

Mark Moran, MA, GC-C

 

How to Become a Grief Counselor and Loss of Parent

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

How to Become a Grief Counselor and Loss of Parent

The article below is about one year of grief after the loss of a mother.  The woman who is middle aged writes very candidly and open about her initial expression of pain to the very end of acceptance.

The utter devastation of loss is seen as she receives the call.   She laments over this loss through the following months almost lost as she tries to rediscover herself as a woman without a mother.   She lists the dreaded one years marks as well as holidays and birthdays and how she learned to adapt to this loss and allow the goodness of the world around here to sustain her.  She writes:

“Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my mom’s death. That means I’ve endured many of the difficult “firsts” that grievers dread — first birthdays, holidays, and school events. This one-year mark also signifies that I’ve learned how to live in a world without my mom in it. And let me tell you, that’s no small feat.”

To read the entire article, please click here

I think all people are different to a degree, but react most the same way when loss arises.  The loss of a parent is definitely a difficult one.  I imagine it is almost as if learning to re-see the world in a different light and prism.

This process of adaptation and writing the next chapter in one’s life is not about forgetting, or not hurting, but transforming the relationship with the parent who has gone.  The new relationship takes time to form, but as the woman discovered, she was still a woman with a mother, but just in a different way.   She also learned in this transformation that since the relationship still existed, she could begin to breathe again and allow the love around her to help heal her.

This is no easy path, nor one that  anyone ever envies.  Yet for most, it is a path we must all travel.  While those who are enduring it, endure, many of us who have yet to are scared to even fathom it.  It is frightening and we would much rather deal with it when it comes, or in some bad cases, pretend it will never happen which can lead to a horrid grief reaction.

After one year, we cannot with certainty say where one should be emotionally.  To put all people on a time table of how they adapt to loss is bad counseling.   Yet a person should have some routine of a new normalcy.   One he or she may not yet  like, but one he or she is learning to get to know.  A new normalcy where he or she understands the circle of life and the fact that relationships never die but only change.

Those wishing to learn how to become a grief counselor need to help guide those who lose a parent, like the author of the article.  They need to help them through the grief process and let them experience it.  Of course, grief counselors need to identify unhealthy grieving patterns, but we should not discourage the grief of the first year for it plants the seeds for a new life where one is able to adjust with the pain and write a new chapter in their life that is not void of the loved one but presented in a new light.

I do believe after the first holidays and birthdays have gone, one is finally able to at least start to remember and celebrate the life the deceased parent and to enjoy their presence in a more spiritual manner.

All of our prayers go out to people who have lost their parents.  May they find peace and solace in their loss and realize that death is only a temporary divide and that the relationship while seemingly broken, is in reality still strong and existent but in a different way and level.

 

For those interested in how to become a grief counselor please review our program in Grief Counseling.  The program consists of four core courses.  After completion of those core courses, qualified professionals can apply for certification.

Certification lasts for three years and is renewed via clinical and academic hours via teaching, counseling, reading and continuing education in grief counseling.

Those who qualify for the program would include anyone with health care licenses or degrees.  Other qualified candidates include those with general social study degrees ranging from counseling to ministry.  Other professionals would include ministers, counselors, social workers, funeral directors, teachers, nurses, pastoral care givers and hospice.  Many professionals who earn certifications in grief counseling at the Academy of Grief Counseling are able to utilize their newfound skills for the good of others and one day also help themselves understand their own eventual grief and loss.

If you feel the call to this area of counseling, I recommend you pursue it. It not only can enhance an already existed career with options but also give one a great satisfaction in helping others overcome grief and bereavement in a healthy way.

If you still wish to learn how to become a grief counselor, then please review the program in full or give us a call so we can answer all of your questions.

In the meantime, please enjoy the blog and article!

Overcoming Grief and Also Learn More About Grief Counseling Training

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The article “Grief and healing: Mom adds sandbox to baby’s grave so son can ‘play’ with brother”, by A. Pawlowski states

“A grieving mom’s thoughtful gesture for her toddler is prompting tears and an outpouring of support from parents who have lost a child.”

American Institute Health Care Professionals’ insight:

This article talks about the loss of a new born and how a family is coping not the traditional way of hiding or keeping it to oneself.

 

This family built a memorial to the infant and encourages the still young but older brother to visit the memorial.

Hiding grief has been a standard for many generations but the healthy expression and sharing of feeling is a natural way to heal and prevent abnormal grief from developing.

If you would like to learn more about grief counseling training, then please review our program.  Those qualified can become certified in grief counseling after completing the required courses.

#howtobecomeagriefcounselor

See on www.today.com

Facing the Great Unknown and How to Become a Grief Counselor

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
American Institute Health Care Professionals‘s insight:

Fear of death can cripple our own life.  It prevents us from understanding the temporal nature of life and for us to make the most of it while we are here.

It also causes us to avoid discussion about it.  This prevents many from having good life insurance or funeral plans.  It can also put other family members in the dark about what one wants with his or her belongings after death.

If you are interested in learning more about life and death and the nature of grief, please review our program in grief counseling.  Review more to see how to become a grief counselor

In becoming a grief counselor, one must complete the required courses to become certified. After completing the courses, one is then eligible for certification.

If one wishes to become re-certified, then one needs to complete the required hours both academic and clinical.

Qualified professionals include social workers, nurses, healthcare professionals, counselors, ministers and other pastoral caregivers.  By becoming a certified grief counselor one can enhance their already existing career and be able to help others in need.

In the meantime, please enjoy reading from the blog and our site.  If you have any questions on how to become a grief counselor, then please review.

#howtobecomeagriefcounselor

See on www.huffingtonpost.com

Courses in Grief Counseling: A Short List for Grief and the Holidays

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The article, “A Short List for Grief and the Holidays”, by Rev. Sue Wintz states

“For those who are dealing with acute grief, remember that they are probably living in a fog: nothing seems real because of the shock that grief causes.”

American Institute Health Care Professionals’ insight:

This article looks at how to answer grief related problems during the Holidays and how a bereaved parent or chaplain can answer them.  Many people who have not experienced loss do not understand the pain and loss people go through during the Holidays who have lost a family member.

The article discusses how the bereaved is mourning, what to say and how to help someone cope.  Grief counselors can help those grieving during the season with these basic steps.  Proper response can mean the world to a grieving person during the Holidays

If you are interested in learning more about grief counseling, then please review our program.  Our program consists of four core courses.  These courses in Grief Counseling are online.  After the qualified professional takes the courses in Grief Counseling, he or she then becomes eligible for certification.

If you are interested in learning more about the program, then please review the program and the blog.  If you have any questions, we will be more than glad to help you.

 

 

#howtobecomeagriefcounselor

 

See on www.huffingtonpost.com

‘Evil did not win” Newtown Shootings

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The article, “‘Evil did not win,’ say parents of Newtown victim as families launch website”, source; Fox News

“Parents of the 20 children killed in the Newtown shooting announced the formation of a singular website Monday dedicated to the memory of all the victims, while one family released an emotional video declaring that evil did not win.”

American Institute Health Care Professionals’ insight:

Becoming a Certified Grief Counselor

Parents continue to show resiliency in their darkest grief in Newtown as they share their stories and courage with the world.  The families have jointly created a new website in commemoration of the deaths of those killed in the Newtown shooting almost a year ago.

Grief counselors or those becoming a certified grief counselor will notice a healthy use of their energy and time as they grieve via constructive ways–namely remembrance.

Parents from the shooting proclaim evil did not win, and that the memory of their child has prompted them to give more to other children and funds.  The love their daughter had for others lives on as they donate in her name to less fortunate children.  In this way, her memory lives on as well as her heart.

They also have been overwhelmed by the love of support of so many other people around the country.  That love and support shows the parents the good that exists in this world despite the evil action that took place.  The support also helps them push forward in their own healing process.

If you are interested in becoming a certified grief counselor, then please review our program.  In becoming a certified grief counselor, qualified professionals take the core four courses and then apply for certification.

After certified, they have three years until they can renew their certification in grief counseling.  Certified grief counselors need to provide fifty hours of continuing education and fifty hours of practical grief related service.

#howtobecomeagriefcounselor

See on www.foxnews.com

Sandy Hook dad talks about 911 tapes – CNN.com Video

Posted on by Dominick Flarey
American Institute Health Care Professionals’ insight:

A sad video about the loss of the families at Sandyhook.  The videos in order talk about the pain of individual parents, the needs they have and the disturbing 911 call.

Compounded with the holidays, the approaching anniversary of the shooting, and the traumatic loss itself, these parents are facing a grief nightmare that no-one can imagine.

The best thing according to grief counselors is for them to talk and for others to listen.

One particular sad moment is how the father of one of the victims, has left the Christmas tree up all year, which was to be decorated the weekend after the shooting took place.  The grief has paralyzed him from decorating the tree.  One can only imagine the pain and suffering and our prayers go out to him and these families.

If you would like to learn how to become a grief counselor then please review our program.  The grief counseling program consists of four core courses.  After completion of those four courses, qualified professionals can become a grief counselor.

After three years, the grief counselor must recertify if he or she wishes to continue.  Recertification requires five hundred hours of grief counseling related work and fifty hours of continuing education in grief counseling.

#becomingagriefcounselor

See on www.cnn.com

Sandy Hook: Finding Gratitude, Even in Grief

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The article, “Sandy Hook: Finding Gratitude, Even in Grief”, by Miranda Pacchiana states

“I will let my thoughts turn to friends, neighbors and all of those who are hurting and impacted by grave loss. I will consider the strength and trust that so many of them have shown.”

American Institute Health Care Professionals’ insight:

This article is sad and a sign of grief support.  The families of SandyHook no doubt suffered greatly on Thanksgiving, but many were also able to find happiness and love of the support and new friends they have found since the shooting.

Being able to find gratitude and some sort of happiness is critical in grief support.  Of course, every Thanksgiving or Holiday will bring tears, but being able to live in the present is key to avoiding pathological and self destructive grief

Grief counselors should always look for healthy healing in their patients.  Signs of gratitude and happiness amidst pain, is a good sign, their patients are healing.

If you are interested in learning more about grief counseling or would like to learn how to become a grief counselor, then please review our site.  Qualified professionals who take the four core courses in grief can become a  certified grief counselor.

The certification in Grief Counseling lasts three years and is renewable.  During the three years the grief counselor must practice five hundred hours and earn fifty hours of education credit in the field of grief.

Thank you for your interest in our blog and if you have any other questions please let us know.

See on www.huffingtonpost.com

Certified in Grief Counseling: The Grief My Son Does Not Deserve

Posted on by Dominick Flarey

The article, “Getting Past the Grief Over a Child With Special Needs”, by Ellen Seidman states

“Max’s 11th birthday is coming up. My 11th anniversary as a mom is coming up. His birth will never be a happy event for me, yet why does it have to still hurt so much?”

American Institute Health Care Professionals’ insight:

Certified in Grief Counseling

One of the most courageous acts of a parent is caring for a special need child.  it is an act of love but also a cross.  You realize your child will never have a normal life but you nonetheless cherish the life the child does have.

You sacrifice and move on, but for many an underlying grief can remain that needs to be healed.  This article is about that grief that exists for the parents of children with special needs.

If you have any interests in grief counseling, then please review the program.  Those who become certified in grief counseling, will take four core courses in grief.  After completion of these courses, qualified professionals can become certified in grief counseling.

Those certified in grief counseling remain so for three years until renewal.  Those who wish to continue being certified must practice over five hundred hours of grief service and accumulate fifty hours of grief counseling education.

#griefcounselingonlineprogram

See on www.huffingtonpost.com