Anger is a neutral and natural emotion. It is when anger is allowed to turn to rage and when anger is misdirected that it becomes damaging. When someone allows anger to turn to rage, then violence and abuse can occur. Sometimes this abuse is physical, other times it can be verbal. Uncontrolled anger hence is something that needs to be controlled. Controlling anger however can sometimes be easier said than done. Anger Management Consulting and training can help individuals learn to better cope with anger but teaching anger control starts in one’s youth.
Young children need to be taught about anger and what it can do when it is not controlled. Preventing anger to turn into a habitual vice of a person has its roots in upbringing. Children need to be taught how to control their anger, see other points of view, show empathy and abhor violence. When children are trained how to cope with anger and allow it to diffuse in peaceful ways, then children can become better adults later in life in regards to controlling it.
Unfortunately, many individuals do not learn how to cope with anger at a younger age, but parents can play key role preventing the cycle of abuse by teaching their children anger control. The article, “How you can teach your child to cope with anger” by Sneha Das looks at ways parents can help train their children with anger control by listing 5 key strategies. She lists a few ways parents can help children cope by utilizing verbal communication. She also encourages parents to teach children relaxation methods and other ways to reduce frustration. Most importantly she encourages parents to praise children when they behave well. Regarding anger management and anger, she states,
“Anger is one of the most common and normal emotions experienced by us. However, children often tend to confuse anger with aggressive behavior and showcase temper tantrums, disrespect, and frustration. As parents, you need to teach them anger management skills before it affects their academics and mental health. Here are five easy ways to teach your child how to control and cope with anger.”
“How you can teach your child to cope with anger”. Sneha Das. January 22nd, 2023. NewBytes.
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Commentary
Anger in children can be defined as a psychological affective state that is characterized by the experience of intense, negative emotions such as frustration, bitterness, hostility, and aggression. Such emotions are usually caused by perceived injustice or a perceived threat to the child’s physical or psychological well-being. This phenomenon can be further compounded by cognitive factors such as distortions in information processing, misunderstandings of social cues, and failure to accurately interpret environmental cues.
Anger in children can be caused by a variety of factors, most notably the lack of ability to effectively express emotions. In addition, frustration, fear and/or a feeling of being overwhelmed can all contribute to feelings of anger. Furthermore, anxiety disorders or social problems can manifest in children as increased levels of aggression or irritability due to their inability to adequately cope with the underlying stressors.
Anger Management with Children
Parents engage in a process of temperamental regulation to modulate their children’s emotional expression of anger. This disciplinary action is intended to facilitate the development of emotional self-regulation and ultimately help cultivate a more emotionally competent child. Through such measures, parents attempt to shape the behavior of their offspring by utilizing techniques such as praise, reprimands, rewards, and/or punishments. This process involves utilising behavioural techniques to shape the child’s cognitions regarding the behaviour in question while also providing positive reinforcement for desirable behaviours. Through this process, parents are able to foster a sense of responsibility and accountability among children, helping them develop skills for recognizing and managing their own angry outbursts.
Obviously, punishment is the key way to alter bad behavior but how that punishment is carried out if one wishes to deter angry outbursts.
Beyond punishment, parents need to cultivate other skills from a positive respect instead of only negation. Parents can reward good behaviors with special treats or favors. Positive reinforcement hence can play a key role. Another way to positively reinforce proper emotional control is through example. Parents who do not yell and scream when upset or angry set a good and positive image for their every watching children.
In addition to positive reinforcement and example, parents can teach children the necessary skills to verbally communicate and not allow anger to overtake with outbursts. Outbursts are to be taught as unacceptable while communication is to be rewarded and encouraged. Additionally, parents can teach children other methods of controlling anger through meditation, breathing exercises, or simply walking away. When these skills are taught a younger age, then they can develop into habits through the teen years and young adult years that will lead to a more even tempered adult.
It is also crucial that parents stop aggression in children. When aggressive behavior is witnessed, or reported from school, it is necessary for parents to discover what is the root cause of this aggression and how to help their child better express their anger and not to displace it on others. Unfortunately, many homes have parenting that is dysfunctional and these anger issues leak into the schools causing additional issues.
Anger Management Consulting can also play a key role in helping one understand the source of the anger and how to better manage it.
Conclusion
In conclusion teaching children to manage their anger is an essential part of helping them develop healthy relationships with their peers and adults. It is important to focus on calming strategies such as deep breathing, counting to 10, or talking out frustrations rather than resorting to aggressive behaviors. Parents should provide a safe environment where children feel heard and respected in order to help them learn how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner. Furthermore, guidance from a mental health professional can be beneficial for children who are struggling with extreme anger issues.
Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Program and see if it meets your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year certification in Anger Management Consulting.
Additional Resources
“Anger, Irritability and Aggression in Kids”. Yale Medicine. Access here
“How to Treat Anger Issues in Kids”. Kelly Burch. August 17th, 2022. VeryWellHealth. Access here
“A Child’s Anger Can Be a Warning”. Ana Nogales. January 26th, 2012. Psychology Today. Access here
“7 Ways to Help a Child Cope With Anger”. Amy Morin. October 17th, 2021. VeryWellFamily. Access here