Stressors and change create grief and anger. How we manage our anger and grief in relationship to stressors with other people is critical to our social interaction with others. For better communication, health and better social relationships, conflict resolution is critical.
Conflict resolution involves better communication skills, control of emotion due to stress and loss, patience and understanding. In conflict resolution, stress management and anger management classes, individuals need to identify what type of behavior their possess in their interaction with other people.
Please also review AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting Certification
Assertive behaviors are the healthiest of the behaviors. They establish boundaries, respect self, respect the other person, and meet one’s needs in a healthy way. Non assertive behaviors on the other hand deny the wishes and needs of self at the expense of others. There is a lack of boundaries and ability to respect one self over the needs of others.
Aggressive behavior is a selfish behavior. It turns to conflict when establishing boundaries and the needs of others. It does not respect the needs of others nor the feelings of others when establishing itself in a conflict.
For example, an assertive behavior at a restaurant would return an ordered item that was ill prepared. It would so in a civil and polite way, describing the issues and find resolution. A non-assertive behavior would meekly accept the discrepancy in the order and say nothing for fear of causing a scene. An aggressive behavior would demand the order be fixed without politeness and be filled with a litany of insults
Obviously, assertive behavior is the most social, healthy, and effective behaviors during conflict. They meet the need of the person but also find resolution in a polite and effective way. One can be assertive through non verbal clues, or verbal clues. How one stands, speaks in tone, and looks at a person are parts of an assertive personality. They lack dismissive behaviors or aggressive and angry body movements.
Verbally, an assertive behavior communicates. They describe the issue, express feelings, specify what is needed, and refer to consequences. In doing so, obviously, listening is also key but also elaborating on one’s needs is also key. How we communicate is key to reducing anger, stress, anxiety and violence.
It is important when resolving conflicts to use specific types of words. The words “And” and but” are important ways to express conflict. Instead of eliminating the feelings of others via the word “but “it is better to include the word “and” as a way to address and not eliminate another’s point of view.
Another verbal cue in resolving conflicts is to avoid the pronoun “you” when addressing someone else. Instead, use the pronoun “I” as not to be accusatory towards another person when pointing something out. As with “you”, avoid direct accusatory words such as “why” which can force a person with an opposing view on the defensive.
If one incorporates understanding, patience, and kindness with an assertive personality, they can better communicate and address conflict issues that emerge due to anger and stress. It is imperative to be able to communicate and resolve issues of conflict in a civil but effective way. It is not only socially better but also best for health and wellbeing. The less conflict, the less stress, anxiety and anger
Please also review AIHCP’s Stress Management Consulting Program as well as AIHCP’s Anger Management Consulting program and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. Qualified professionals can earn a four-year certification and help others deal with stress and anger through successful conflict resolution