Christian Counselors and Spiritual Directors help many individuals coming from deeper issues of loss, trauma, pain, and spiritual darkness that are searching for healing and love in the presence of God. The dichotomy of Christian theology that expresses the human soul as a child of God but at the same time notates the nothingness of self compared to God is a striking polar opposite. Obviously, a person in need cannot be declared as nothing and stripped of all goodness that innately exists within their personhood. With an awakening of self, the spiritual journey and crosses have life has injured many elements of self image and concept, so it is important to elevate self esteem but also eliminate pride. There lays the delicate balance of understanding and communicating the value of humility but also the praise of self in the healing process.
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification, as well as its Spiritual Direction program
As Creatures
God the Creator, chose to create humanity from nothing due to His infinite love. As a creatures, it is an essential truth to acknowledge two things. First, creatures are nothing in comparison to the Creator and second, creatures owe the Creator everything. God does not wish to force servitude on His creatures, but He is the source of their creation and hence it is only natural and right that creatures worship and adore Him. This is not due to a sense of entitlement by God, or self-interest and pride in His greatness but a true reality of existence. When creatures cease to worship and serve the Creator, then their end becomes unnatural. This unnatural end results in corruption. Lucifer and his minions rejected this law of nature and instead chose their own will and attempted to alter the natural reality of existence by refusing worship and obedience to the Creator. The choice did not liberate them from worship but forever corrupted them in pain and suffering. Since God is infinite love, when one abandons self and seeks God, the act of worship is likened to breathing. It is natural and just.
As creatures, justice alone suffices to acknowledge the creature’s obligation to serve and worship. It also clearly points out the dependency and imperfections of the creature in relationship to the Creator. It would be a delusion of grandeur to glorify one’s stature, talents, appearance, or works as one’s own accomplishments without reflecting the design and influence of the Creator. This is not a false humility but a reality that every creature must accept as natural. When a creature attempts to glorify self, it leads to delusion and corruption, but when a creature understands its relation to the Creator, it lives in truth. Mary, the greatest and most magnificent creature ever created by God, teaches others one’s own nothingness. At the Annunciation. she responds to the Angel Gabriel’s salutation with a statement of her graceful state as a reflection of God and not of her own doing.
As Children
God transformed creation with His infinite love. He transformed creatures to His children, from something to someone and ultimately nothing to everything. God’s love elevates His creatures to children of God. It is in that relationship that individuals have true identity, self-image, value, and beauty. God created humanity in His own image and likeness according to Genesis. In this way, He infused intellect and will. This permitted His creation to possess a true image of the Divine that possessed sentience and freedom of choice. It permitted the relationship to be a mutual relationship of love as between parent and child. In this way, humanity became a prized possession of God, so much, that even after its fall, He was willing to become human, suffer, die and rise to save them from their own folly. It is through this additional act of love, beyond creation, but also redemption and sanctification that one sees the great value of one single human soul. The ransom price for each soul at the cross was a heavy price and God gladly paid it through Jesus Christ.
From this, one can see a balance of creature and child. Nothing and everything. It is within reflection and acknowledged dependence of the Divine that humanity’s nothingness becomes everything and it is through that a true Christian self esteem can emerge in a directee and spiritual child. It involves anchoring self-esteem and self-image to the connection with the Divine.
Christian Humility
Since pride corrupts and distorts reality between creature and Creator, then it is important to flee it and foster humility. Ironically, Scripture points out, the last will become first, and the one who destroys his own life will save it. These phrases in Christianity all point to a deeper mystery. It points to the truth that for one to truly find value in self, it is dependent upon complete rejection of self. This is clearly the opposite message of Lucifer and his fallen temporal world. The world whispers success at all costs, elevation of self, collection of riches, and exaltation of achievements. In modern psychology, congruence is seen as self-fulfillment and finding happiness in what one deems to be good. So many false images of happiness are sought to fulfill one’s own ego and desire in the mirage of temporal happiness only to be illusions that lead to chaos, loss, dissatisfaction, and moral degeneration. As Lucifer looked to idolize self, and how Adam sought self actualization without God, the temporal and secular man seeks self approval, pleasure and acknowledgement of others. The demand and adoration of the narcissistic self distorts the reality of creature and attempts to worship self as Creator. While this may seem subtle and maybe not as dramatic as Lucifer or Adam, the continuation of actions and their temporal gratification and glorification of self create narcissistic qualities that through habit become one’s own deification. Whether its through social media, fame and fortune or power, the creature becomes intoxicated with self and loses its identity. This in turn leads to corruption as pride, the source of all sin, leads to further deformity in greed, avarice, lust and envy for more. It is of no wonder then that creatures then attempt to define their own laws of moral conduct since they have become their own god.
Christian humility is the answer to this disastrous corruption of self. It is not a degradation of self but is a truthful mirror of a creature in dependence of a Creator. Like new born babies and infants, Christian humility acknowledges the need of a parent and the inability to exist or succeed without the Divine. It acknowledges that all accomplishments, successes, fortunes, riches, blessings, talents, virtues, and spiritual progress are God’s grace. It acknowledges that the creature cannot walk without the gentle guidance of the Creator. Likening the fallen world to a baby’s crib or playground, the great empires that are built in the creature’s mind are merely tall Lego blocks as compared to omnipotent and eternal presence of God. To exalt such feeble success to infinite greatness is a folly that Christian humility illuminates. Christian humility in spiritual direction does not look to tear the person’s success down, or make the person feel insignificant, it seeks to awaken the person from the illusion of the Matrix and to embrace the truth that all good comes from God and not self. Humility protects the creature from corruption and aligns the creature to reality and truth so that it can grow and become fulfilled as a child of God. Humility teaches a far greater self value then the self can ever afford for it is supported by a Divine enterprise and loving Father.
When the God, via the Second Person, became incarnated in Jesus Christ, He taught creation these truths. Jesus highlighted the folly of self adoration and the foolishness of seeking the world before the soul. Jesus refused the powers afforded to Him by a mere creature, namely Lucifer. Who in his delusions sought as a creature to afford the Creator power and wealth in a fallen world. Jesus rejected the pride of Lucifer in the desert and revealed the truth that humility over pride is reality. Jesus did not grant Himself a rich palace, but instead chose to be born in a stable. He lived for 30 years under moderate means as a carpenter supporting His mother. He enjoyed life in its simplicity as a testament to truth of reality. In His ultimate act of humility, as both God and man, the omnipotent and eternal God, hid Himself in His humanity and permitted the profane hands of creatures to mock and crucify Him. He stood before the pompus pride of Pilate and permitted this execution to take place, although as Creator, He could at any moment smite the entire Roman legion. In this humility, He surrendered Himself willing out of love for all His creation to be openly executed. He never reprimanded them, or exposed His Creatorship but with humility accepted the will of the Father. Christ said to His apostles regarding this fallen world, that if this place rejected Himself, the Creator, it will reject His followers. He taught them to seek these injustices, these rebukes, and embarrassments and to offer them to God. These slights should be seen as opportunities to suffer with Jesus and for Him to offer our imperfect deeds to the Father in His name.
In the text, “The Spiritual Combat” by Dom Scupoli, like many writers of his time, there was a great emphasis to acknowledge the nothingness of self. One sees this in the writings of Avila, as well as Loyola. Scupoli states that one should completely distrust self and place all trust in the Creator. In doing so, one accepts the reality that without God, one is truly nothing. One cannot do a single good deed without the merits of grace earned for oneself by Jesus Christ. In addition, one should honestly realize that without the gift of love from God, one deserves nothing from God, but nonetheless owes Him everything. Scupoli points out that pride corrupts the soul and breaks one from the reality of a creature’s true status. One should then seek the opportunity to be humbled by others and to always reflect one’s accomplishments to God. In this way, one experiences the truth of reality and avoids the destruction of self glorification.
Self Esteem in Counseling Vs Christian Humility
While many humanistic counselors may see the degradation of self and one’s inability to do good without the external source of God as undignified, the reality is it prevents the disastrous lies that lead to vice and ultimate maladaptive coping. Self-esteem is critical for the depressed and broken. Individuals need to be taught to respect themselves, to love themselves, and to find joy in success. Counselors help them cultivate the tools to create and meet goals. It is healthy to find “pride” in accomplishments. It is also not sinful to accumulate temporal goods and find joy in temporal successes. However, when the source of one’s self esteem is rooted in self-glorification and one’s own morality and laws, then it becomes untruthful to reality and can cause degradation and misery. One’s self-esteem must be tied to God. When tied to God, it is more than it can ever be alone. One whose self-esteem is tied to God values and loves oneself because God loved oneself first. One whose self-esteem is tied to God is placed on an objective and unbreakable foundation of Divinity rather than shaky subjective weak foundation of frail humanity. Finally, humility with God grants a calm sense of peace in the presence. Unlike pride which is always moving and self serving, seeking and never content, humility grants peace about the past and security about the future. Depression of the past or anxiety of the future is tied to pride and not humility. The humble soul is content and secure in the grace of God because it submits to His will and serves Him.
It is natural than that true self-esteem correlates not with humanistic pride and narcissism, but with Christian humility. The acknowledgement of weakness and dependency does not weaken self-esteem, but grants it the source of its power through the Creator. Humility grants to the Creator His reflection and image in the creature. This humility then elevates the creature beyond any limits imaginable. This may not translate in this valley of tears as success but it does translate in eternity with Christ by emulating Christ on earth. Christ’s message of truth was humility because it frees oneself from the illusions of Lucifer. A great saint once said, the greatest weapon against the devil is humility because he does not know it.
Humility and Psychology
Since humility is so critical to salvation, it is no wonder then that is critical to temporal existence as well. While counselors help navigate individuals through issues of depression and low self-esteem there needs to remain a balance that does not transgress into narcissistic behavior. While even secular psychology looks to free the self to find happiness, even it recognizes the dangers of extremes in behavior. When self esteem becomes narcissistic pride it becomes dysfunctional and socially impedes a person’s mental and emotional progress in life. In the article, “What Is Humility & Why Is It Important?, Schaffner points out various critical elements of humility in psychology and social interaction. She points out that humility is key accurate self portrayal, modesty and awareness of others (2020). In addition, Schaffner lists other key elements of humility which include a willingness to see one’s true self, an understanding of one’s appropriate place in the world, an understanding of one’s faults, limitations and mistakes, a true openness to change, a focus on others, and an ability to appreciate other things outside ourselves (2020).
Like the spiritual benefits, the emotional and psychological benefits seem to both open oneself to others, service, and truth. Pride that becomes malignant is detrimental to self, growth and society. Pride becomes an injustice to reality, self and others. It makes sense than that a Christian perspective on humility is far from detrimental to self-esteem but in reality beneficial.
The Devil and Spiritual Pride
For those who seek God, spirituality opens many doors of illumination and unity with Him. However, like the souls who seek power in secular venues, spiritual people can befall pride in spiritual endeavors. Instead of riches and money and fame, the soul boasts of virtue and sanctity and holiness. Scupoli notes that this is one of the traps of the devil. Individuals exposed to the world are ensnared differently than individuals seeking spiritual perfection. Like the Pharisees, spiritual virtue becomes source of power over others. It becomes their own cultivating gifts instead of a grace given by the Creator. These souls then find pleasure in their own virtue as a end in itself. In this pride begins to rot within the soul. Instead of thanksgiving, gratefulness and humility for grace, the individual gravitates towards holy deeds as their own. In turn, instead of empathy for others in sin, they find judgement. Instead of reflection of their own failures and past falls, they only condemn those committing the same offenses. They feel a sense of entitlement and status and wish for their spiritual sanctity or message to be seen and heard. They fall into disobedience to spiritual authority and envy others of spiritual status, as well as seek ways to overcome spiritual rivals. This is the corruption instilled by Satan in spiritual pride. It utilizes the same schema but unlike utilization in a secular setting, it finds its use in a spiritual one. This is why Christ was so abrupt with the Pharisees because He understood their rottenness and pride.
Scupoli recommends that individuals flee all vanity in the spiritual life and to recall one’s own distrust of self and complete reliance of God. While thankful and happy to receive graces from God as any child, he also reminds one to never believe that these gifts are a result of sanctity or worthiness. He warns one to never find disgust in another’s faults but to remember the same faults that exist in oneself and if not for God’s grace, how one would be no better. He reminds one that one fails God or sins to not scrupulously over analyze the fall but to seek immediate forgiveness. When one over analyzes failure, one tends to oppositely attribute success or failure as to one’s own means. One can never reach perfection. One is never worthy. Only through blood of Christ and the ransom paid is one made worthy. A humble soul participates with Christ but no works or deeds can ever save himself but only through the faith of Christ which produces a living faith of works energized by His grace. So, no matter how hard one may try to reach Christian perfection, no creature of himself or herself can ever be perfect. Many sincere souls rightfully fear offending God and seek each day to avoid sin at all costs. While this is important, it is equally important to understand that one when fails, it is due to our one’s own brokenness and one cannot allow pride to seep in the crevices of thinking one cannot sin. Humility since it is based in truth is also aware of brokenness and sin as a part of an imperfect nature due to Original Sin. Hence when sin occurs, one should humbly acknowledge the brokenness and pray harder to God for future graces. Humility constantly re-directs oneself to God after sin because it acknowledges that oneself cannot live a good life without God’s grace.
Scupoli reminds individuals that sin and suffering and crosses are tools God utilizes to foster humility. Through failures, the soul realizes even more so its utter dependence upon God. The moment the soul falsely feels it can move forward of its own devices and virtue, then it is destined for failure via the vice of pride. In this way, God reminds His children that they need Him, not out of arrogance but out of necessity of reality.
Conclusion
Christian humility is not meant to deface self-esteem, or identity. It is meant to strengthen it through connection with God. It is based in reality and not the false assumptions and illusions of the world that celebrate arrogance, power, and success over piety, reliance and thanksgiving. Pride is the great illusion of self where one puts self on a pedestal as god. It corrupts and destroys like it did to Lucifer. The great deceiver hopes to trick humanity into being prideful about self and elevating the creature to the level of Creator. It is not depraving or neglectful to rightfully and truthfully understand one’s nature of dependence upon God. It does not depress self-esteem but permits self-esteem to actualize itself through the connection of grace with God. Humility is the tool for this relationship because it, unlike pride, acknowledges the reality between Creator and creation.
Please also review AIHCP’s Christian Counseling Certification as well as its Spiritual Christian Direction program
Additional Blogs
Christian Happiness and God. Access here
Christian Suffering. Access here
Reference
Scupoli, D. (1589). Spiritual Combat (2024 edition). Holy Water Books.
Additional Resouces
Schaffner, A. (2020). “What Is Humility & Why Is It Important? (Incl. Examples)”. Psychology Today. Access here
“4 things everyone should know about humility”. Active Christianity. Access here
Johnson, S. “The Vice of Pride”. Access here