Grief is not something that is patched up with a bandaide and left to heal. It is not something that one recovers from ever. Anyone who says one can recover from grief is misleading you. Freud taught that grief is something that must be removed from the person. The person must recover and move on from it, as if grief was a disease or pathology. Grief however is far from a pathology but part of our human condition. It is a result of loving someone so much that the loss creates a void forever.
Grief is not about recovery but is about adaptation and coping. As time goes, one is able to adapt to the loss and remember the beloved with warmness, and even live with happiness, but the wound is forever present at different intensities at certain times. This is not something one wishes to remove but something that one embraces as the price of love. Love and grief coincide in this fallen world and if we never loved, then we would never grieve.
So there is no magic pill or recovery for grief. It is hard work, adaptation, coping and remembering with fondness the love that existed and still exists in one’s heart. This is not what many want to hear but it is what they need to hear. Grief Counseling is not about healing grief but is about helping others learn to live with grief.
The article, “We Don’t Recover From Grief, and that’s Okay” from “Whats Your Grief” is an excellent reminder of how we never truly recover from grief. The article states,
“But the grief, it’s always there, like an old injury that aches when it rains. And though this prospect may be scary in the early days of grief, I think in time you’ll find that you wouldn’t have it any other way. Grief is an expression of love – these things grow from the same seed. Grief becomes a part of how we love a person despite their physical absence; it helps connect us to memories of the past; it bonds us with others through our shared humanity, and it helps provide perspective on our immense capacity for finding strength and wisdom in the most difficult of times.”
To read the entire article, please click here
Please also review the American of Academy of Grief’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it matches your academic and professional goals. The program is online and independent study and open to qualified professionals seeking a four year grief counseling certification