Death of a loved one is difficult by itself. It takes time to recover from the loss and re-adjust to the life without them. While we re-adjust, some say we never truly recover completely and that is fine. However, when we lose someone and the death is complicated because of the nature of the death or how we ended it with a particular person, then complications can emerge in our recovery process.
Sometimes one may regret how they handled the death of a loved one. Maybe the last words were not pleasant, or the one felt conflicted during the person’s illness. Other times, one may regret not discussing or doing this or that with the person. In other cases, the nature of the death itself can cause extreme distress. Many deaths via suicide or through a particular disease can become disenfranchised. Individuals suffer far greater in these types of sudden and unnatural deaths. They raise questions and cause embarrassment in some cases.
These types of complications can lead to an array of issues for the recovery process and turn simple grieving into a complicated form of grief that may not reside on its own.
The article, “Struggling with How a Loved One Died” from “Whats Your Grief” looks at how one can overcome these conditions of a death of a loved one. The article states,
“It’s very important to note, revisiting events like these can bring up many distressing thoughts and emotions. When thinking about the death, some people may actually re-experience intense emotions like panic, terror, and fear. In an effort to not feel this way, the person may actively avoid anything that could bring up these memories which, in the long run, may cause them to cut themselves off from important people and places and to possibly live in a state of hyperarousal.”
To review the entire article, please click here
To look back at a loved one’s death is natural. There is nothing wrong with it, but when the death is more complicated or we regret how the process played out, then we may feel stronger emotions that can haunt us. It is important to face those emotions and deal with them.
If you would like to become a certified Grief Counselor then please review the American Academy of Grief’s Grief Counseling Certification and see if it meets your academic and professional goals.